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tampered2006-11-01 02:37 am
revelations9x6.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2006-11-01 02:37 am
Log: Complete
When; Oct 31st ( night)
Rating; R for sexual situations
Characters; Xulchibara![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
revelations9x6, Alessa alessalearnt
Summary; Comfort, and confessions
Log;
...
The door slammed shut, and Alessa leant against it, her breath coming out in short gasps. The other children were being mean to her again, throwing things at her and chanting "Burn the witch! Burn the witch!" over and over again. So many times she had sought solace in this bathroom. Once again it would protect her from their cruel words. Or so she thought. The twelve-year old girl whirled around as the sound of shuffling feet brought her to attention.
Alessa's gasp caught in her throat as she saw the man in front of her. His big hands tightened around the mop in his hands as he studied her, and slowly, a smile curled up on its face. 'Hello, little girl,' Colin said serenely. That broke the spell, and Alessa screamed. She kept screaming as he grabbed her and shoved her into a stall, and did what he did best.
"Yes, that's it, that's my good little girl,' He hissed, and tears streamed down Alessa's face. The nightmare was never going to end, never....and all of a sudden, things shifted, and she wasn't twelve anymore, she was twenty-one, and he had her down on her back and raped her. She screamed and cried and begged for the pain to stop, crying for her mother to help her...
Alessa sat up in bed, gasping for breath, her body trembling all over. She took a few furtive glances around, disoriented, but relieved. She was not in the bathroom. She was in her room, in the cathedral. Her pajamas and sheets clung to her, her forehead shining in the moonlight drifting through the window. She was drenched in sweat. Shaking, Alessa covered her face in her hands to stifle the sob that threatened to come out. When she was a child, everyone spoke of the monster that was Colin. She had punished him, turned him into that monster. But even here, he was still the boogeyman in her closet. He was still the demon in her nightmares.
-
Unnoticed in her distress, a lean youngish man with hair as soft and shining a black as a raven's wing, and eyes that constantly moved, shifted, and danced with a manic fire.
He was quiet, long legs stretched full length to end in bare feet as he lay next to her; one arm propping him up to study her with infernal eyes.
His clothes were an indeterminate dark color, though simple enough fare of T-shirt and leather textured pants, stood out in sharp contrast to the white sheet he lay on top off.
In the old days, when Alessa was bedridden, the dark man wore her own dark reflection; a child that was no child at all.
On particularly long nights he ( she?) would slip into Alessa's hospital bed and hold her while she wept quiet tears of rage, and frustration.
He would whisper to her that her patience would be rewarded, that with his help, she would make them all pay; his painfully pleasing touch offerring her burned and distorted nerves what solace it could through the direct, ecstatic contact with her patron God.
An expression that might have passed for sympathy, were it not betrayed by the dimmed glow of chaotic eyes that flared at random in thier ceaseless circling, gave his darkly angelic features a solemn air.
"You still have the dreams...My poor darling.." he whispered, perhaps aloud, perhaps only through thier connected minds.
Slowly, so as not to frighten her with sudden movement, he opened his arms in an invitation of the solace only he could provide.
-
Alessa bit down on her lip and pressed the heel of her hands into her eyes, doing her best to hold back the tears, but the pain was too much. Her shoulders racked with the sobs, and she covered her face in her hands. Several moments passed, and the tears ceased, replaced by shuddering breaths. She wiped her eyes furiously, angry at herself for being so weak. 'Yes,' she finally answered Xulchibara. 'Yes, I still have them.'
She turned to the Red God, and accepted his invitation by laying back down and moving closer to him, one hand curling around part of his t-shirt. '....I don't know why I do not have nightmares of the burning. For some reason, for all of the pain and anguish it caused me, it does not haunt me. But this....this I can't forget. Even now, I still check under my bed, in my closet. Always afraid that Colin will come out from the shadows and hurt me again.' She shuddered involuntarily, yet taking comfort from Xulchibara's presence. Ever since she had called upon him, he had always been there to comfort her. When she would cry out for her mother in her sleep when the nightmares came every single night, he would be there, close and ready to keep her safe. He did what her mother could not, and she was so grateful for that.
-
The dark man tucked her gently beneath his chin, and hugged her close.
" Shhh, my love...." He purred, letting her curl her hands into the fabric of his shirt, and resting his cheek against the hair on top of her head.
" You do because you wish to love dear Henry without the past hindering you, dear heart." he explained, giving voice to what lay within her subconscious.
Again, very slowly, he curled around her like a cat. Bringing her against the chilling fire of his skin, and the utterly impenetrable protection of his embrace.
Alessa had always possessed a certain resistance to the dark man's presense, and once determining this, the Red God had tried to use his discordant aura of pleasure-pain to shroud her ruined flesh from her mind....to give her the closest approximation of the human contact she sought by touching her as fully as he could, but still allowing her the assurance that she could move away should she so choose since in this masculine form, she may feel mildly threatened...
" He suffers for his crimes even now....I will see to it he is further punished if that would please you?"
He offerred and gently rubbed her back; a soothing gesture the dark man was quite pleased to now be able to offer.
-
She sighed, the familiar burning in her soul returning as he drew her close and rubbed her back. It was a different fire from the one that had burnt her physically and the one that burnt whenever she saw Henry or thought of him. It had been painful when she was a child, but now it was sweet and illicited exquisite pleasure. It was overwhelming to the others, but Alessa could handle it and derived pleasure from it.
"......is it that obvious?' She whispered into Xulchibara's neck. '.......I've never....never felt like that for anyone before. But when he punished with me, when I saw his face as he punished the guilty, the blood spattered on his cheeks and lips.....I wanted him. I wanted him more than I wanted anyone. But I am scared, so scared.....how can I fulfill my destiny when I am too terrified to do more than just kiss? I'm afraid he'll hurt me.' She knew Henry would never hurt her. Never. But she knew what men and women did when they loved each other. She knew what Colin did to her. She just didn't want it to hurt....for how could that be anything good? At times she felt like the lost child she once was; this was no exception.
-
" Dearest heart, you have, sadly, never had a great deal of direct contact with humans similar to our sweet Henry. " He sighed, chaotic eyes flaring very briefly into the darkness.
This had been a gross miscalculation on his part, as for thirty years he had encouraged Alessa's sequestering, her rage and her bloodthirsty desire for vengeance.
Yet even the gods could not predict the future to such an exacting degree. Even for thier kind it was largely educated guesswork based on a vaster understanding of the workings of the universe.
So very much to do before either the snake or the reed were ready to fulfill thier roles...the prophet, as well, was scarce capable to keeping his wits much less taking the Word of the Great Lady's return across many worlds, and many nations.
" There is nothing I may say to reassure you that this is not the case, my love." the dark man continued, and now that she had quieted some, perhaps Alessa would look up to note that while he spoke, the dark man's mouth never moved; his eyes casting oddly lit patterns of discord into the shadows around them.
Another hug, and a small increase in the exquisitly painful sensation he emitted, and the dark man started to also emit a purr of vibration from deep in his chest.
He nuzzled softly at her sleep touseled hair, then pressed further to place the barest of kisses against her neck.
" I have misssssSsEd YoU So, AlEsSa..." he told her, relaxing his psychic barriers around her, for even in his true form, his most raw, she had never been frightened merely of that.
His true voice could not unintenionally hurt her....The reason behind her special circumstance, however, was something she had never wondered on.....
-
The time for whispers had ended, and their minds touched intimately as they communicated. She shivered as Xulchibara kissed her neck and let herself fall into his comfort. His true voice echoed in her mind, and she was touched. He had missed her. Her! The one who had nearly forsaken him! He had left, but he missed her!
Tentatively, the young woman placed a kiss on the fabric of the god's t-shirt. Her lips burned at the contact, but she didn't mind. It was always worth the pain and risk to touch her God, her friend, her mentor, her protector. 'I missed you too,' she whispered silently, glad to have him with her. '...where did you go?' Whether he answered or not did not matter. The question was there, regardless, but she was content just to have him with her. She wasn't afraid anymore, the nightmare becoming a passing memory.
-
Eternity could be a very lonely existence...made more so when the only company one keeps are those subservient to the briefest touch of a God.
The Red God was not a creature of 'kindness', but he was not completly incapable of love....
Granted, the love of an embodiment of vengeance was nothing like the human connotations for the word.
Nevertheless, Alessa was one of the only companions Xulchibara had ever allowed himself ( herself?) to be truly candid with.
She had seen him in rare tempers, and at his most affectionate. She did fear him, this he knew, but she did not let that fear drive her to blind worship.
Her straying had made her all the more wonderfully interesting to him, though it had taken a great deal to repress the urge to destroy her corporeal form utterly at the time.
" I ToLd YoU, My LoVe." that atrocity of a voice continued with a sensation of sound comparible to shards of glass passing over heated steel.
This was his true voice when not tinged with anger, and not being it's most desirbly obsequious.
YoUr DeSiRe To bE 'NoRmAl' PuShEd Me FrOm YoUR hEaRt...YOU silENcEd Me.
To an outside observer the roles of comforter and comforted may have appeared to shift as the dark man wrapped himself around her, but to they both knew this behavior was the manifestation of the God's desire to tie her to him once again; to keep her for his own.
His only friend...the only one who loved him without the taint of addiction to power or pleasure coloring thier exchanges.
I RaGed...I ScReAmEd....I ToRe A ReAlItY ApArT In OrDeR To FiNd YoU...BuT YoU TuRnEd A DeAF EaR...YoU AbANdOnEd Me..." he 'said', his voice both a roar of rage, and a child's petulant sulk at being ignored.
-
A moment passed, and Alessa thought. She had abandoned Pyramid Head. She abandoned him. But she would never, never leave her God again. Never.
Alessa looked up and gazed readily into those chaotic non-human eyes, and leaned forward. Slowly, cautiously, just in case he protested, Alessa pressed her lips to his in a kiss.
The sensations were overwhelming to the last two, but she could keep her head straight as burning desire and agonizing pain tore through her all at once. She was able to keep from screaming and to deepen the kiss, even reach up with one hand to touch his cheek, finally pulling away. Her lips felt raw, but it would be better in the morning. 'I will never forsake you again, Master.'
He had been in torment at her betrayal. But the reed learned from her mistake and would never do so again.
-
Mindful of her fears, the dark man remained still and let her come to him.
Dark fire flared and burned in his eyes, for all that they fell half-lidded with pleasure at her willful display of affection.
Pressed against one another, he took a small initiative, and pushed his tongue just barely against her lips.
That sub-audibal purring raising in volume as she responded, and allowed him to leisurely taste her once more.
It had been many years since they had allowed themselves to be so intimate...and to many humans this behavior would automatically make them lovers.
Yet the Red God, and His Handmaiden knew better.
This was thier way; thier secret language of touch and taste that they shared with no one else in the same way.
No longer did the dark man dislike Henry as a weaker being undeserving of his beautiful Fury.
No longer did he rage at being shunned...for she proved again that no one, No One, forgot The Red God's touch once given thier first taste.
She was the first to pull away, and he let her go with only a short hiss and snap of sharpened teeth at being denied; barely a reaction at all for him.
Once she 'spoke' again, however, his angelic features broke into a sharp smile.
"ThEn WiLl YoU JoIn HEnRy In ThE BLOOD RiTuAl, My LoVe?" He asked, eyes burning paths across her, while one hand played idly in the softness of her hair. ( the other still held her fast about the waist.)
-
Alessa smiled in return. She had been surprised at first at his tongue (but not tongue) pushed past her lips, but welcomed the bliss it gave. '....Other than You, Henry is the only one I would perform that ritual with.'
It was a bond that no one else could fully understand, but God and Handmaiden understood it perfectly. Henry and the others were only getting a taste of what such a bond was like. Alessa could sense the ever-burning fire that was Xulchibara, and maybe even knew or suspected what he truly wished to do, but said nothing. They respected one another, that was certain. She would not voice her suspicions and he would not act upon them until she was ready. They had all the time in the world in this place, this City.
Rating; R for sexual situations
Characters; Xulchibara
revelations9x6, Alessa alessalearntSummary; Comfort, and confessions
Log;
...
The door slammed shut, and Alessa leant against it, her breath coming out in short gasps. The other children were being mean to her again, throwing things at her and chanting "Burn the witch! Burn the witch!" over and over again. So many times she had sought solace in this bathroom. Once again it would protect her from their cruel words. Or so she thought. The twelve-year old girl whirled around as the sound of shuffling feet brought her to attention.
Alessa's gasp caught in her throat as she saw the man in front of her. His big hands tightened around the mop in his hands as he studied her, and slowly, a smile curled up on its face. 'Hello, little girl,' Colin said serenely. That broke the spell, and Alessa screamed. She kept screaming as he grabbed her and shoved her into a stall, and did what he did best.
"Yes, that's it, that's my good little girl,' He hissed, and tears streamed down Alessa's face. The nightmare was never going to end, never....and all of a sudden, things shifted, and she wasn't twelve anymore, she was twenty-one, and he had her down on her back and raped her. She screamed and cried and begged for the pain to stop, crying for her mother to help her...
Alessa sat up in bed, gasping for breath, her body trembling all over. She took a few furtive glances around, disoriented, but relieved. She was not in the bathroom. She was in her room, in the cathedral. Her pajamas and sheets clung to her, her forehead shining in the moonlight drifting through the window. She was drenched in sweat. Shaking, Alessa covered her face in her hands to stifle the sob that threatened to come out. When she was a child, everyone spoke of the monster that was Colin. She had punished him, turned him into that monster. But even here, he was still the boogeyman in her closet. He was still the demon in her nightmares.
-
Unnoticed in her distress, a lean youngish man with hair as soft and shining a black as a raven's wing, and eyes that constantly moved, shifted, and danced with a manic fire.
He was quiet, long legs stretched full length to end in bare feet as he lay next to her; one arm propping him up to study her with infernal eyes.
His clothes were an indeterminate dark color, though simple enough fare of T-shirt and leather textured pants, stood out in sharp contrast to the white sheet he lay on top off.
In the old days, when Alessa was bedridden, the dark man wore her own dark reflection; a child that was no child at all.
On particularly long nights he ( she?) would slip into Alessa's hospital bed and hold her while she wept quiet tears of rage, and frustration.
He would whisper to her that her patience would be rewarded, that with his help, she would make them all pay; his painfully pleasing touch offerring her burned and distorted nerves what solace it could through the direct, ecstatic contact with her patron God.
An expression that might have passed for sympathy, were it not betrayed by the dimmed glow of chaotic eyes that flared at random in thier ceaseless circling, gave his darkly angelic features a solemn air.
"You still have the dreams...My poor darling.." he whispered, perhaps aloud, perhaps only through thier connected minds.
Slowly, so as not to frighten her with sudden movement, he opened his arms in an invitation of the solace only he could provide.
-
Alessa bit down on her lip and pressed the heel of her hands into her eyes, doing her best to hold back the tears, but the pain was too much. Her shoulders racked with the sobs, and she covered her face in her hands. Several moments passed, and the tears ceased, replaced by shuddering breaths. She wiped her eyes furiously, angry at herself for being so weak. 'Yes,' she finally answered Xulchibara. 'Yes, I still have them.'
She turned to the Red God, and accepted his invitation by laying back down and moving closer to him, one hand curling around part of his t-shirt. '....I don't know why I do not have nightmares of the burning. For some reason, for all of the pain and anguish it caused me, it does not haunt me. But this....this I can't forget. Even now, I still check under my bed, in my closet. Always afraid that Colin will come out from the shadows and hurt me again.' She shuddered involuntarily, yet taking comfort from Xulchibara's presence. Ever since she had called upon him, he had always been there to comfort her. When she would cry out for her mother in her sleep when the nightmares came every single night, he would be there, close and ready to keep her safe. He did what her mother could not, and she was so grateful for that.
-
The dark man tucked her gently beneath his chin, and hugged her close.
" Shhh, my love...." He purred, letting her curl her hands into the fabric of his shirt, and resting his cheek against the hair on top of her head.
" You do because you wish to love dear Henry without the past hindering you, dear heart." he explained, giving voice to what lay within her subconscious.
Again, very slowly, he curled around her like a cat. Bringing her against the chilling fire of his skin, and the utterly impenetrable protection of his embrace.
Alessa had always possessed a certain resistance to the dark man's presense, and once determining this, the Red God had tried to use his discordant aura of pleasure-pain to shroud her ruined flesh from her mind....to give her the closest approximation of the human contact she sought by touching her as fully as he could, but still allowing her the assurance that she could move away should she so choose since in this masculine form, she may feel mildly threatened...
" He suffers for his crimes even now....I will see to it he is further punished if that would please you?"
He offerred and gently rubbed her back; a soothing gesture the dark man was quite pleased to now be able to offer.
-
She sighed, the familiar burning in her soul returning as he drew her close and rubbed her back. It was a different fire from the one that had burnt her physically and the one that burnt whenever she saw Henry or thought of him. It had been painful when she was a child, but now it was sweet and illicited exquisite pleasure. It was overwhelming to the others, but Alessa could handle it and derived pleasure from it.
"......is it that obvious?' She whispered into Xulchibara's neck. '.......I've never....never felt like that for anyone before. But when he punished with me, when I saw his face as he punished the guilty, the blood spattered on his cheeks and lips.....I wanted him. I wanted him more than I wanted anyone. But I am scared, so scared.....how can I fulfill my destiny when I am too terrified to do more than just kiss? I'm afraid he'll hurt me.' She knew Henry would never hurt her. Never. But she knew what men and women did when they loved each other. She knew what Colin did to her. She just didn't want it to hurt....for how could that be anything good? At times she felt like the lost child she once was; this was no exception.
-
" Dearest heart, you have, sadly, never had a great deal of direct contact with humans similar to our sweet Henry. " He sighed, chaotic eyes flaring very briefly into the darkness.
This had been a gross miscalculation on his part, as for thirty years he had encouraged Alessa's sequestering, her rage and her bloodthirsty desire for vengeance.
Yet even the gods could not predict the future to such an exacting degree. Even for thier kind it was largely educated guesswork based on a vaster understanding of the workings of the universe.
So very much to do before either the snake or the reed were ready to fulfill thier roles...the prophet, as well, was scarce capable to keeping his wits much less taking the Word of the Great Lady's return across many worlds, and many nations.
" There is nothing I may say to reassure you that this is not the case, my love." the dark man continued, and now that she had quieted some, perhaps Alessa would look up to note that while he spoke, the dark man's mouth never moved; his eyes casting oddly lit patterns of discord into the shadows around them.
Another hug, and a small increase in the exquisitly painful sensation he emitted, and the dark man started to also emit a purr of vibration from deep in his chest.
He nuzzled softly at her sleep touseled hair, then pressed further to place the barest of kisses against her neck.
" I have misssssSsEd YoU So, AlEsSa..." he told her, relaxing his psychic barriers around her, for even in his true form, his most raw, she had never been frightened merely of that.
His true voice could not unintenionally hurt her....The reason behind her special circumstance, however, was something she had never wondered on.....
-
The time for whispers had ended, and their minds touched intimately as they communicated. She shivered as Xulchibara kissed her neck and let herself fall into his comfort. His true voice echoed in her mind, and she was touched. He had missed her. Her! The one who had nearly forsaken him! He had left, but he missed her!
Tentatively, the young woman placed a kiss on the fabric of the god's t-shirt. Her lips burned at the contact, but she didn't mind. It was always worth the pain and risk to touch her God, her friend, her mentor, her protector. 'I missed you too,' she whispered silently, glad to have him with her. '...where did you go?' Whether he answered or not did not matter. The question was there, regardless, but she was content just to have him with her. She wasn't afraid anymore, the nightmare becoming a passing memory.
-
Eternity could be a very lonely existence...made more so when the only company one keeps are those subservient to the briefest touch of a God.
The Red God was not a creature of 'kindness', but he was not completly incapable of love....
Granted, the love of an embodiment of vengeance was nothing like the human connotations for the word.
Nevertheless, Alessa was one of the only companions Xulchibara had ever allowed himself ( herself?) to be truly candid with.
She had seen him in rare tempers, and at his most affectionate. She did fear him, this he knew, but she did not let that fear drive her to blind worship.
Her straying had made her all the more wonderfully interesting to him, though it had taken a great deal to repress the urge to destroy her corporeal form utterly at the time.
" I ToLd YoU, My LoVe." that atrocity of a voice continued with a sensation of sound comparible to shards of glass passing over heated steel.
This was his true voice when not tinged with anger, and not being it's most desirbly obsequious.
YoUr DeSiRe To bE 'NoRmAl' PuShEd Me FrOm YoUR hEaRt...YOU silENcEd Me.
To an outside observer the roles of comforter and comforted may have appeared to shift as the dark man wrapped himself around her, but to they both knew this behavior was the manifestation of the God's desire to tie her to him once again; to keep her for his own.
His only friend...the only one who loved him without the taint of addiction to power or pleasure coloring thier exchanges.
I RaGed...I ScReAmEd....I ToRe A ReAlItY ApArT In OrDeR To FiNd YoU...BuT YoU TuRnEd A DeAF EaR...YoU AbANdOnEd Me..." he 'said', his voice both a roar of rage, and a child's petulant sulk at being ignored.
-
A moment passed, and Alessa thought. She had abandoned Pyramid Head. She abandoned him. But she would never, never leave her God again. Never.
Alessa looked up and gazed readily into those chaotic non-human eyes, and leaned forward. Slowly, cautiously, just in case he protested, Alessa pressed her lips to his in a kiss.
The sensations were overwhelming to the last two, but she could keep her head straight as burning desire and agonizing pain tore through her all at once. She was able to keep from screaming and to deepen the kiss, even reach up with one hand to touch his cheek, finally pulling away. Her lips felt raw, but it would be better in the morning. 'I will never forsake you again, Master.'
He had been in torment at her betrayal. But the reed learned from her mistake and would never do so again.
-
Mindful of her fears, the dark man remained still and let her come to him.
Dark fire flared and burned in his eyes, for all that they fell half-lidded with pleasure at her willful display of affection.
Pressed against one another, he took a small initiative, and pushed his tongue just barely against her lips.
That sub-audibal purring raising in volume as she responded, and allowed him to leisurely taste her once more.
It had been many years since they had allowed themselves to be so intimate...and to many humans this behavior would automatically make them lovers.
Yet the Red God, and His Handmaiden knew better.
This was thier way; thier secret language of touch and taste that they shared with no one else in the same way.
No longer did the dark man dislike Henry as a weaker being undeserving of his beautiful Fury.
No longer did he rage at being shunned...for she proved again that no one, No One, forgot The Red God's touch once given thier first taste.
She was the first to pull away, and he let her go with only a short hiss and snap of sharpened teeth at being denied; barely a reaction at all for him.
Once she 'spoke' again, however, his angelic features broke into a sharp smile.
"ThEn WiLl YoU JoIn HEnRy In ThE BLOOD RiTuAl, My LoVe?" He asked, eyes burning paths across her, while one hand played idly in the softness of her hair. ( the other still held her fast about the waist.)
-
Alessa smiled in return. She had been surprised at first at his tongue (but not tongue) pushed past her lips, but welcomed the bliss it gave. '....Other than You, Henry is the only one I would perform that ritual with.'
It was a bond that no one else could fully understand, but God and Handmaiden understood it perfectly. Henry and the others were only getting a taste of what such a bond was like. Alessa could sense the ever-burning fire that was Xulchibara, and maybe even knew or suspected what he truly wished to do, but said nothing. They respected one another, that was certain. She would not voice her suspicions and he would not act upon them until she was ready. They had all the time in the world in this place, this City.