Log; Complete; Backdated

[sciencedaughter.livejournal.com]

When; October 28th; Male Pregnancy Day
Rating; PG
Characters; Nemu {sciencedaughter} & Ulquiorra {eyezen_sama}
Summary; After this conversation during the curse day, Nemu heads over to the Arrancar's residence with a bag of foods he's craving. To study him. Yes, Mayuri-sama would approve of that. ... Study.
Log; Nemu didn't really know what she was doing. Which disconcerted her, since she usually always had a perfectly good reason for doing everything she did. And nothing lent any reason to why she was standing in front of the residence of an Arrancar carrying a bag that contained lemons, pickles, and several different types of sour candies. She had tried several justifications on her way over. The only one that made any sort of sense was "to study Arrancar", so she stuck with that one. Calmly, her face nearly blank, she finally knocked lightly on the door of one Ulquiorra.

Rinsing his mouth out with water didnt seem to help him feel any better, but it at least was something he could do with reasonable ease. Everything else either made him dizzy, irratable, or ready to throw up. Ulquiorra was not used to such reactions. In fact, he was sure he wasn't supposed to have such reactions. An Arrancar did not eat, so how could he feel as if something was upsetting his stomach. Arrancar were strong and steady, and yet he had nearly fainted a few times already. and Arrancar certainly cared little for emotions (especially himself), and yet he had been tossed into spirals of depression and anger like he had never experianced. Ulquiorra decided he could go ten life times without experiancing this again and he'd be quite content.

Sensing the female creation before she reached the door, he staggered to the doorway of the small washroom and grumbled. "Come in."

Hearing the voice inside tell her to come in, she did so, opening the door and entering slowly, closing the door back behind her, listening for the little click of the lock. A moment she paused, questioning what she was doing. But in the end... it didn't really matter, the danger. She was already dead. Casting about, she followed the voice to the washroom, halting her movement when she saw the Arrancar supporting himself in the doorframe of the bathroom.

"Ulquiorra." She said in greeting. She had only been in this residence once before, and that time, the activities had mainly been confined to the bedroom.

Ulquiorra only groaned in response, slipping slightly as he rested his forehead against the cool of the wall. This was highly undignified. Worse than anything that had ever happened to him. As long as Aizen-sama did not see him like this, however, he would weather the storm. No other Arrancar were about to bother him, and this was only a measely Shinigami. It would be alright.

"What did you bring?" he murmured, trying his best to walk smoothly over to a chair.

"Lemons." She promptly answered, reaching over to push the chair closer, watching his somewhat unsteady walk carefully. He certainly did look a mess. He was paler than usual (if that was even possible), and he looked a tad disheveled, different from his previously impeccable grooming. "Along with several pickles and candies. And a lime." She finished the list, nodding to the plastic bag in her hand. "Would you like me to prepare them for you?" She kept a close eye on him, still not trusting, and still trying to tell herself she was observing him as nothing but an Arrancar study.

"Yes." he said, managing to make it sound a bit more like an order instead of a croak. Only a bit, however. Sinking into the chair with a sigh, he smoothed his hands over hair, trying to keep calm. But he just felt so terrible. This whole city was out to get him. And sure, with Luppi and Grimmjow around it had been irritating, but now he was alone, without anyone who understood exactly what he was. He wasn't used to being in such a mess. Why? Why had he come to this city and why on earth wasn't Aizen-sama trying to send him back? Didn't he want to leave too? Shouldn't they all be getting back to their own lives?

With something close to a sniffle, Ulquiorra put his head in his hands, suddenly understanding why human women cried so often. If they felt like this, then no wonder.

Nemu nodded, catching sight of the kitchen from the hallway and leaving the Arrancar alone for a few moments. But it was not long before she returned with a plate she had taken from Ulquiorra's kitchen, now covered in sliced lemons, limes, pickles, and littered with different wrapped candies. She cocked her head to the side, having thought she heard something. "You are sad?" She asked, offering the plate. "Because of the child?" She didn't know if it was a true pregnancy, but with the city, you never could tell.

"Child?" he scoffed, frowning in distaste at the idea. Not only was it clearly impossible, but Ulquiorra had no idea what he'd do with a child. He was simply unable to wrap his mind around it. And he could usually wrap his mind around anything. He was not supposed to be mentally incapacitated just because there was something terribly, terribly wrong with his body and the city that had made it this way. Was that part of the city's taint? The longer one stayed, the stupider one became? Looking at the other inhabitants, he thought perhaps that was true.

"I am not sad. Arrancar do not get sad."

"And yet you sniffle." Nemu pointed out, pulling up another chair close, yet not too close, to the Arrancar. She sat, crossing her legs at the ankles, and placing the plate in her lap. "That is usually a sign of despondency." Picking up a lemon slice, she leaned forward slightly, offering it. "Lemon?"

"I do not sniffle!" Ulquiorra took the lemon from her with a frown, having the dignity to keep from blushing, though he knew full well he was acting very foolish. He would never, ever admit to that however. He instead pushed the lemon into the mouth, lips puckering around the sour flavor, feeling more refreshed almost instantly. He could get used to this food thing.

Nemu only nodded. "Very well." She was not used to pushing contradictions. She watched him eat the slice of lemon, a small creep of a smile coming to her lips. It was slightly amusing, as Ulquiorra was acting as if he'd never tasted something like that before. Which, she carefully reminded herself, he might not have. Picking up a candy this time she offered it, now slightly smiling. "Now aren't you glad one of the prospective fathers is taking care of you? Or do Arrancar not become glad, either?"

"Arrancar have no use for emotions." He eyed the candy before taking it, slowly unwrapping it. That wasnt exactly true--Arrancar were created with emotions and flaws--it was impossible to create them without some connection to their long lost human soul. But Ulquiorra didn't think there was any point for them to be emotional about things. They had a purpose and one purpose only. Anger and joy and sadness would only get in the way. And bring them closer to the types of garbage they had been created to destroy.

Even still, as he popped the candy into his mouth, the sweet sugary taste was almost overwhellming and he blinked, pleased.

"Then what drives you?" Nemu asked, idly selecting a pickle slice and proffering it, eyes locked on the Arrancar's own. "Loyalty? Fear? Respect? Need?" She pressed softly. "All are emotions." She looked away for the briefest of moments before returning her gaze. "Even Mayuri-sama realized I needed those emotions when he created me."

"My purpose is what drives me." He took the pickle, scowling at the odd smell before nibbling experimentally. It was quite satisfying, especially with the lingering sugary taste from the candy. "And power." he added after a moment of consideration. Aizen-sama wouldn't learn of his words here…

"Then what is your purpose? To gain power? Or to serve Aizen Sousuke?" Next a lime was offered, and she was still smiling slightly at the faces the Arrancar was making. "To have both as a purpose seems almost contradictory."

"To serve Aizen-sama. He created us. He can destroy us with a thought." Ulquiorra quickly took a bite of the lime to keep the bitterness from his voice, but the taste was shocking and he spit it out quickly. "Too sour.."

It was contradictory. He couldn't disobey Aizen-sama, but he could see past the man. See to his own future. He had litte desire in being a pawn his whole life.

Nemu settled into a quiet, thoughtful, moment, eyes downcast as she offered another slice of lemon. She had spoken with Aizen Sousuke, about many things, one of which topics had been the Arrancar. And the way he’d spoken of them, about them, had resonated with her. It reminded her of how Mayuri-sama spoke of her. She could remember the way he would turn and look at her, a scowl on his face. ”Nemu. You’re such a worthless creation. One of these days I’ll replace you, you know.” And she would duck her head and murmur, ”Of course, Mayuri-sama.”

“What do you think he’ll do with the Arrancar once he sits on the throne in the sky that he desires?” She finally asked, gaze rising once more.

Ulquiorra pondered the question as he took the lemon (he prefered them to limes), his rampant emotions momentarily put on hold as he thought seriously over the subject. It was the not the first time he had thought about it, especially when it seemed that Aizen-sama was getting closer to his goal.

"Perhaps we will be his generals? To guard against an uprising.." But even as he spoke the words, it did not seem likely. Aizen-sama was not one to share power so easily. Perhaps they would have Hueco Mundo to themselves.. But even that did not seem likely. "He will probably destory us.." he said softly, frowning as a wave of something his supposed was sadness drifted over him.

"That is tragic." Nemu shifted the contents of the plate around as she spoke, pushing the limes to the far side of the plate from the Arrancar, noting that he had spit out the last one she had handed him. The candy she arranged in a tidy pile, and she moved the pickles and lemons closer to the plate edge, picking up a lemon slice and handing it over. "To be created only to be destroyed." It was a sensitive subject. "Doesn't that make you... sad?"

"Of course it makes me sad," snapped, hunching his shoulders some. "I don't want to be destroyed. Aizen-sama thinks he is more powerful than anyone, but he's not. We Arrancar know his weaknesses. I do not want my life to end just because of him."

Realizing his words were getting away from him, he took another lemon, glad he was at least no longer feeling sick to his stomach.

Nemu listened quietly, making a soft clucking noise in the back of her throat, an attempt to soothe. She would have patted his hand, but that seemed a bit too forward at the moment, too risky. Instead, she occupied herself with picking up another lemon and prying some slices apart. "Everyone has weaknesses, even those who believe they do not." She murmured, concentrating on the yellow fruit. Looking up, she proffered the plate. "Are your muscles stiff?"

"Stiff?" hoping to regain some dignity, Ulquirra sat up straighter, noting that his body did feel particularly uncomfortable. He wasn't used to such a feeling--his strength kept him in top physical form. "I suppose.." A thought struck him and he eyed Nemu with more of his usual arrogant curiousity.

"I still don't quite understand just what exactly you are doing here."

Nemu ignored the last question for a moment, standing smoothly and setting the plate of sour foods on the chair she had previously occupied. Moving slowly, she stepped behind the arrancar, hands firmly grasping him by the shoulders. "What I am doing here?" She repeated his question. Mouth set in a firm line, she determinedly pressed hard with her fingertips into the knotted muscles. "I am massaging you."

"That sounds terribly lewd." Ulquiorra mumbled, bowing his head as her fingers pressed into his shoulders. He was not accustomed to being touched--in fact, he usually rejected it. To be touched by those so much lower than him.. but then again, considering the events not so long ago..

Sighing, he wondered if he should just give up on the idea of dignity all together. He wasn't doing a very good job of keeping it, either way. "That doesn't explain why."

"You did not object to the lewdness last time I was here." She pointed out, continuing with her task. Moving from the top of the shoulders, she turned her attention to the muscles grouped around the spine. "As to why..." She frowned slightly, encountering a paticuraly tense muscle group. "... perhaps I am concerned about the well-being of the child? Or maybe I am concerned for your health?"

"I highly doubt I am actually pregnant." he groaned, squirming under the pressure of her fingers. It was quite uncomfortable. "And as to last time, that was under special circumstances. Why would one such as yourself have any concern for me?"

"You probably aren't." Nemu agreed, fingers moving to compensate for his squirming motions. "But it is amusing to consider." She bent at the knees, moving to the lower back. "And as for caring, perhaps I feel obligated to, at least, show some concern after we participated in intercourse? Or perhaps I am bored and have nothing better to do. Maybe I even actually care. It could be any number of things, when you think about it."

"Yes well, it is not amusing for me." But her answer was interesting. Bordem played a big part in their lives it seemed, now that purposes and life quests were put on hold. Ulquiorra talked so much about his purpose, but thinking it over, he seemed not to have much of one at the moment. It was not pleasent to think about. "I am not the only one you had intercourse with. What of the others? Do you feed them lemons as well?"

"No, I do not. You should feel special." She failed to mention that Zaraki Kenpachi had left the City. She too was without purpose in this City. Without Mayuri dictating her every move, she found herself with a lot of time on her hands, to do as she willed, to think as she willed. "And what of the others you had intercourse with? Still don't know most of them?" If it was at all possible, a small hint of a teasing tone had entered her voice.

Smirking slightly, Ulquiorra shrugged against her hands, oddly finding bitter humor in the situation. "No. That I do not." He in fact didn't suppose he ever would, unless the same affliction came up on him again. If that happened, he would just lock himself in his chambers. "They were all far below me, anyways."

"Ah, yes." She murmured, nodding, even though he could not see the motion. "And where does that place me?" She asked, aligning her thumbs against the muscles on either side of the spine, pressing firmly and slowly running them up and down along the muscle.

Gritting his teeth at the uncomfortable sensation in his back, he thought over the question. Before, he would have thought of her simply as trash, like the rest of them. Her power wasn't something so small that he could dismiss her entirely, but she wasn't a match for him. And yet, she was something similar to himself; a creation, given emotions and free will. Trapped, he supposed, like himself.

"Somewhere." he said simply, leaving it at that.

"That is comforting to know." Standing straight once more, Nemu walked back towards her seat, pausing as she looked at the mask remnant on the left side of his side. Curious, she reached out and touched it gently, fingertips gingerly grazing the surface. "... The remnant of your Hollow mask?" She asked.

"Indeed." he nodded, not for the first time slightly disturbed that he did not remember anything of the time as a hollow or as a living human. It did not matter--that was then and this was now, when he was more powerful than before, but it still bothered him. "I do not know what hollow I came from. None of us know."

"Must be disconcerting." She noted, fingers still playing lightly across the bone mask's surface. "Not being able to remember. When you know you should remember and you do not." Her face grew more serious. "I do not miss memories, because I was created from things without memories. So I am not missing anything."

Ulquiorra pulled away finally, frowning as he took another lemon. "I should not be concerned about it because I will never remember, so there is no point." But it still made him unreasonably sad. Biting into the lemon with a sigh, he let himself blame this terrible curse and let the emotions run their course.

"Is the first memory you remember the day you awoke after being created?"

Looking down at her fingers, Nemu pursed her lips, realizing she had been too forward. Returning to the seat she'd previously occupied she lifted the plate and once again set it in her lap. "It is. My first memory is Mayuri-sama, on my first day of fully activated operation." Slowly she reached for a slice of lime, and since he did not seem to want them, she took a small bite. "... Yourself?"

"It is a little fuzzy, as we come not fully sensible. It takes a few days to learn language and our places. I suppose my first clear memory is Aizen-sama telling me what my number is. It was then I understood my place among the other Arrancar." He felt slightly bitter about his first memory being of Aizen-sama. It made sense, but he secretly longed for memories that were less tinged with the man's presance.

"What number are you?" Taking another bite of the lime slice, she thought about what they had learned of the Arrancar before she'd come to this City. Mayuri-sama had always been disappointed that they could not get a live specimen of a higher level Arrancar, and while they knew of the Espada, their exact ranking system was unknown.

"You wont get to know that easily.." he smirked, finding another candy to munch on. "Unlike my brethren, I have no need to flaunt my rank in order to find respect. I am higher than the others you have met. That's all you need to know." It wasnt nessicarily a secret, but he did enjoy how curious his enemies were.

"And here I thought rank was something all Arrancar liked to flaunt." From what she'd read in combat reports at least. Most of them did tend to either display their number mark in plain view, or announce it. But she didn't press the issue. Finishing off the lime slice she had in her hand, she picked up another one. An idea came to her, and she contemplated how to word it. "The hole left by your soul chain... the interior..." She paused, nibbling on the lime slice. "... is it skin?"

Ulquiorra blinked, puzzled by the odd question. He lifted a hand to touch the rim of the hole he usually forgot about. It was part of him, after all, just like his mask. He hardly noticed it. "Yes. Though sensitive." Even the edge of the hole burned slightly when he touched it. "I don't suppose we would function very well if it.. oozed blood or something.."

"I always wondered." Nemu confessed, finishing off the lime slice. She eyed Ulquiorra up and down, fairly bursting with questions. Containing herself, she offered up the last lemon slice. "Lemon?"

"Yes.." he murmured, taking the lemon. They were best mixed with candy. Watching her watch him, he felt a bit odd, as if she were some scientist examining a specimen. "Do you.. have another question?"

"... Your eyeball..." Her brow furrowed slightly. "... is it... it looks loose in the socket." She was confused, the one socket looked larger than the other.

"Yes. I can take it out." After a moment of consideration, he lifted his hand to his eye and did just that. He held it out for her to see, carefully letting it rest in his palm. "If I crush it, the memories I have put to recording will come alive and anyone in the room will experiance them."

She didn't mean to show as much interest as she did, but Nemu couldn't help but lean forward in her chair, eyes wide. That was simply amazing. Moving her head from side to side, examining the eye from all angles, she smiled slightly. "No pain? Can you see through it when the optic nerves reattach? Do they reattach? Or is it not biological at all, perhaps a fusion with the mechanical?”

"It is painful." Ulquiorra looked down at the eye for a moment. He had only done it a few times but it still was uncomfortable. "If I put it back in, I can see. I suppose that means the nerves reattach. I beleive it is biological, but I do not really know." It was simply something he could do, was asked to do. He didn't question it.

"I see..." She was still smiling slightly, almost like a human child who had found a new plaything, something new and exciting. Tentatively, she pressed forward with a request. "May I hold it?" She wanted to examine it closer.

"As long as you dont break it." He had quite a few memories stored up and many of them he had no wish for her to see. They were for Aizen-sama alone. But she looked so curious, much younger than usually, so he passed it to her gently. There was nothing wrong with her knowing the secret about it.

"Thank you." She dipped her head quickly, a small gesture of gratitude, and held the eye gingerly, cupped in her hands. She was careful not to put pressure on it, noting the fact that the eye was still coated in fluids, and the iris still dilated when in direct light. Fascinating, really. And although she truly wanted to see its further secrets, she refrained. This truce with the Arrancar was adventitious, and in no way negative, and she did not want to jeopardize anything merely to sate her scientific curiosity. It was with only a trace of reluctance that she offered back the eyeball, her own eyes glancing down to the plate in her lap. "... We are out of lemons."

"Ah I see." Ulquiorra pressed his eye back into the socket, blinking a few times as it readjusted. He had only had to put the eye back on a few occasions--usually he broke it and another regenerated sometime later. Putting the eye back was more uncomfortable. But she seemed pleased and he found himself glad she had found something to be interested in. She was an interesting Shinigami and the time spent with her was valuable for the future.

"Perhaps I should get more? Or are you now well enough to subsist until this curse subsides?" She was still looking at the plate, rather sad to see the lack of lemons. Her conversation with this Arrancar was pleasant, intellectual, and a welcome relief from the silence of her apartment.

"I should be alright." It was getting later in the day and he was feeling much better. The emotions still swirrled around, but they were easier to manage now. The talk was calming. He had only sometimes enjoyed conversation with his more active brethren, but this had been different. And Aizen-sama rarely had time for talk other than his own plans, so he had enjoyed the time to think about his own mind.

"Then I shall take my leave then, since you are well." Standing, she put the chair back from where she had taken it, lining up the indents in the carpeting to make sure it returned to its exact place. Returning the plate to the kitchen, the left the bag of candies on the counter, since many still remained. The lime she scraped into the trash. Ulquiorra did not like limes. She placed her hand on the door, turning the knob slowly, and waiting for the slow click of the lock. "I shall see you sometime again, Ulquiorra." It was half a question.

Feeling oddly awkward (which never happened), he stood, smoothing his jacket, glad he could stand steadily. Nodding, he moved to hold the door for her, as it was only poliet. "Indeed." It seemed that he should say something, some semblance of gratitude, but he did not usually say thank you. He couldn't recall saying it, actually. "Er.. well. Next time I suppose.. I shall.. return the favor."

Nemu blinked slowly. This was unexpected behavior. It took her a moment to process that he had just thanked her, albeit in a round-about way. She smiled, not the slight, curious, smile, but a simple smile. "Next time I am cursed I will look to you, then. Thank you, Ulquiorra."

Well, that was uncomfortable. Nodding slightly, as he had no idea what to say to that, Ulquiorra kept silent. Being thanked was as odd as thanking someone. It just did not happen. But, he supposed mildly, it wasn't so bad. Besides, her smile made her more attractive than normal, and while Ulquiorra didn't really think much about such things, it was still more pleasing to the eye. "Yes.. well.."

"Well?" Nemu had been about to walk out the door, but stopped, turning back to face the Arrancar. "Is there something to be said?"

"Er... well.." Blinking slightly, Ulquiorra inclinded his head slightly. "Till next time, then.."

Nemu dipped into a small bow. "Until next time." But on the way back to her apartment she found herself humming some silly nonsense song Kusajishi-fukutaichou had always sung during their vice-captains meetings. ... And she was craving a lemon.