tampered | Log; Complete

Log; Complete

When; Nov. 24th
Rating; PG
Characters; Kitty Jones (

kittyjones), Bartimaeus (

djinni_tricks)
Summary; Upon hearing the news that her friend is sick, Kitty races back to the flat to help him.
Log;

Kitty had been outside Building 7, trying to shoo away the group of turkeys that was slowly amassing round the front entrance. She had been worried they were about to launch some sort of assault on the property. But that was the least of her worries at the moment. She burst back into her flat, slightly out of breath, a feather from one of the birds stuck on her coat. Bartimaeus was sick. Bartimaeus was really sick by the sound of it.

Spirits weren't supposed to get sick.

"What's the matter? Are you..." And now she could see he looked sick too. He had taken to lying on the sofa rather than using a proper bed, so it wasn't an unusual sight to see him reclining there, as he was now. But then, he wasn't exactly reclining. He was more... slumping.

She was by him in an instant, crouching on the floor so they could speak at the same level. "Please, what can I do?"

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Bartimaeus was wearing Ptolemy's form as he was partial to. But today there were some differences, normally dark skin was paler and neat hair was slightly messy. Adding to that his usually bottomless black eyes were a duller color of gray, there was definitely something wrong with the djinn.

He'd been on the couch all day, just conserving energy. He looked at Kitty, normally playful voice more diminished. "I don't bloody know..." And he hated to admit such a thing under any circumstance.

It had only taken one quick glance for Kitty to realise something was wrong. All right, Bartimaeus was never exactly groomed, but at the moment he looked positively dishevelled. It was more than unnerving to see him like that, to see the Egyptian boy lying there looking so weak and almost... frail.

"I – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." She had no idea what to do. With that distinct lack of knowledge in mind, she followed human instinct, and reached out to squeeze his hand tightly.

Bartimaeus couldn;t help but cringe at the tone of Kitty's voice. She sounded so worried. Over him. And even though he hated being pitied, the fact that the human girl actually cared meant something to him. Probably because Kitty had fulfilled Ptolemy's legacy.

Of course, the fact that she was holding his hand was a bit of a surprise. "It's fine..." He mumbled tiredly. He didn't have the heart, or the energy to pull his hand away from hers. So he just let it be.

Whilst Bartimaeus may have cringed over her tone, it was all Kitty could do to stop herself from gasping sharply at the sound of his own voice. He sounded so... so human. Like an ill, hurting human. He was Bartimaeus. He wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to get ill at all. Something was really, truly wrong.

"You're not fine though." And when he didn't make some smart quip, or yank his hand away with a glare, she felt a terrible lump swell up in her throat.

"I don't mean to sound insulting, but your hair's all over the place." Gently, she reached out with her other hand to smooth the errant strands back, biting her lip. "Is there... is there anything you want? I could..."

But she broke off. What could she do? Kitty had no idea. And that thought... scared her.

"I just need to rest." Bartimaeus insisted lifting his head up to look at Kitty from a better angle. Honestly, he didn't do well with any sort of coddling. Of course, his head flopped down again, the small action tiring him.

"I'm so glad you're concerned with my appearance." Bartimaeus muttered, sarcasm leaking into his voice. Even ill, there were some things that never changed.

He closed his eyes, trying to think. He could think of only one cure and in the City that was impossible. "I need to go home..." He murmered.

"Yes. Rest. Of course. But don't you think maybe - wait, careful, don't..." She bit her lip again, sharply, turning it white with her teeth as she watched him try to raise himself up and fail.

"Well, someone has to keep the standards up around here," she relaxed a little as she slipped into the light banter. There was something comforting in its familiarity. "I mean, you are to most eligible djinn in the City. You've got an image to maintain."

But the brief smile that had been beginning to form on her face was swiftly wiped away at his next words. Her mouth moved, lips parted, but she couldn't find the words to speak. He wanted... he needed... "I... I understand."

It made sense now. Of course. Why was she so stupid sometimes? She should have guessed that Bartimaeus wouldn't be able to go on in the City forever. She knew enough about him to know that he needed the Other Place. She should have been trying to get him out of here. How could she have been so selfish? "I'm sorry, I should have thought of this, this is my fault, I should have tried... your essence must be..."

"Most eligible? The only djinn is more like it..." Bartimaeus replied, the banter a comforting distraction from the weakness that had overcome him so swiftly.

That came to a swift end when Kitty's expression changed and she began to babble. He groaned, he didn't mean to start her going off on a guilt trip. But he needed the Other Place, he couldn't argue with that.

"Don't apologize for the city, Kitty..." He said quietly, squeezing her hand to get her attention. "It's not your fault..."

"Yes, that may be true, but it just gives us all the more reason to work on your look. You're representing a whole species here, Bartimaeus, you need to give a good impression!"

When he groaned Kitty tensed for a moment, afraid that he was in some sort of pain. And then she realised (only just stopping herself from blushing) that it was a noise of exasperation, not discomfort. She was about to apologise when... when he told her explicitly not to apologise. And then he... her hand. It felt so peculiar to be actually touching him, let alone to have him responding to her own touch.

She sighed, bowing her head, slightly in her inability to meet his eyes, her hand now loose in his grip. "The City... maybe not. But I... I should have looked for a way out. I didn't think I wanted one, but I didn't stop to think that you would... that you would be... I've just been too busy with myself and Nathaniel and..."

At that she hastily stopped herself, the blush now actually coming through at the mention of the magician's name. Taking a deep breath, and squeezing his hand once more, she added all there was she could really think of to say. "I'm sorry."

"Djinn aren't really a species..." He replied, shaking his head slightly so that his hair was mussed again. Whether it was on purpose or whether it was done on accident was up to Kitty.

Bartimaeus released Kitty's hand after squeezing it. The girl could be so skittish... too bad that whole load he fed magicians about knowing the secrets of the minds of women wasn't true. He could use them to actually know how Kitty's mind worked.

"What did I say about apologies?" He was so tempted to add 'young lady' at the end of that sentence, but she'd probably never let him forget that. he reached out and made her look up at him meeting brown eyes with dulled gray ones.

"Don't take the burdens of the world on your shoulders." He paused. "That's Atlas' job, but only because he did shoddy work on a temple." Of course... name dropping...

"Don't get all picky," she shook her finger at him, "that's not the point of the matter." She made a little noise of discontent when he put his hair in disarray once more, pouting slightly in mock disappointment. "That really wasn't very considerate of you. And just when I'd gone to all that trouble, too."

When he let go of her she instinctively brought her hand up to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind her ears, fidgeting nervously, still not looking at him. "Oh, I can't quite remember - something very forgettable, I suppose," she murmured.

But then, suddenly, his hand was on her chin, and she found her face tilted to look at his. In the face of his gaze, she suddenly felt very, very young, and very naïve and stupid into the bargain. Bartimaeus sometimes had that effect on people. It was hard to resist the urge to look away, yet she managed to force herself not to move. But when he spoke she couldn't help but blink for a few seconds longer than normal, her eyes closed to him.

"I'm not. But I want to help my... my friends. To help you." In spite of herself, she smiled a little at his next words, rolling her eyes. "Can you go for five minutes without claiming to have known someone important? I'll bet you never even met the bloke!"

But enough sidetracking. Kitty paused, and then, "There isn't... isn't there something I can do for you now? My aura, could it... I don't know, could it help yours?"

Bartimaeus got a bit of satisfaction from agrravating Kitty with the disarray of his hair. "I'm a djinn, chaos is in my programming... I don't like order." He closed his eyes as Kitty began to fix his hair again, noting to himself that he would have to taunt her over this maternal habit of hers when he was better.

"I told you to stop apologizing." He admonished quietly. He watched as she looked into his eyes for a moment before closing them. She was getting better about that... "This isn't something you could have prevented, Kitty..." He chuckled as Kitty commented on his habit of dropping names. "I did meet him when I did some work in Greece, have him some dice to pass the time. He's probably still there."

"A human and a spirit's aura would never mix without negative results, Kitty." Bartimaeus explained in a soft voice. He'd taken a small bit of power to manipulate the voice to sound wise even despite the weakness. he couldn't let himself seem too far gone after all.

"Yes, but order and good hair styling aren't exactly the same thing. Besides, as a djinn a massive ego is in your programming too, so I'm certain you want to look your best." She noticed he seemed to be enjoying annoying her, but didn't really mind. If it was making him feel better then... well. That was good. And with that thought, she smiled.

At his calm rebuke Kitty did nothing, nothing but flicker her eyes away for a moment to the floor before returning to his face. Behind told that she should stop saying sorry, that she could never have stopped it in the first place... it made her angry and sad and afraid all at once. And all that could come out of her mouth were four words, spoken like a little, protesting child, small and quiet. "I could have tried."

She was unable to stop herself starting a little when he spoke again, his voice sounding like she had heard it only a few times before, truly revealing his age and knowledge in its tone. But whereas before she would often have backed down when he began to sound like this, here her eyes suddenly became passionate, her jaw set, as she launched into a flurry of protestations. "I don't mind, Bartimaeus! Truly, I don't care! If it'd help you at all, then I wouldn't mind if I," she paused, and then shook her head, "I don't care!"

Stopping, she looked down on him, taking in once more his now-fragile body. Her voice sounded very young again when she spoke, and this time so quiet it was almost a whisper. "Please, I... I want to help. I need to help."

"Who am I going to impress here? I certainly hope you don't want me to impress Nathaniel." he said with a playful tone, almost as if he had some of his old energy back. It was comforting to have the banter, even at his weakest moment. He didn't mind having Kitty see him in this state.

He sighed as she made her quiet insistance. It reminded him of how much older he was than her. Compared to him she was still a child, she didn't understand things as he did, with the wisdom he had. "You always try to ease everyone else's burdens."

As she flew into her passionate speech he gathered his strength and once she finished he sat up, dull gray darkening to black again for a moment. "Kitty, your aura was strengthened by going to the Other Place, but listen to me and listen to me well. Mixing your aura with mine will kill you." His voice crackled with power as he looked down at her.

"I refuse to let you die and be trapped here." Even now his form was still frail looking and weak but he gave off no sense of that. "I lost Ptolemy to death. I won't lose you to this city."

"If you were trying to impress Nathaniel I'd be very worried indeed, for both your sakes," she tried to keep her voice light and disinterested, but she was aware that she was probably blushing rather a lot. More than rather a lot. Mentioning of Nathaniel, particularly in a way oh-so-full-of-implication like the one Bartimaeus was using, usually had that result.

"What's wrong with that?" Now her tone was sharp, indignant. "You shouldn't have to do this alone. If it's your burden then it's my burden too, simple as that." It was silly of her, she knew, but a part of her really did think that. Really did think that things could be so simple. She didn't care whether the djinn thought it was foolish, thought it displayed lack of maturity or perception. A part of her knew it was true.

When he sat up, she knew something was about to happen, and clenched her hands into fists in apprehension. But that still couldn't prepare her for it. He began to speak, and she looked straight to the floor, limbs quivering slightly, heart pounding in her ears.

His voice, it... it never failed to scare her. Now, after all this time, you'd have thought she'd have gotten used to it, but when he spoke like that she would always revert to her old fears, laid in place by childhood stories of terrible demons with dark desires.

But despite the dread in her mind and the shaking of her hands, the words still filtered through loud and clear. And Kitty... taking a deep breath, Kitty looked up, and fixed her eyes with his. At the height of his power, the climax of his emotion, she met his gaze. More than anything she wanted to look away – more than that, she wanted to run away. But she looked, she stared and, after a moment, she spoke.

"How do you know that for certain? It might be different here! And even if I do die... it doesn't matter! I wouldn't mind. I don't mind. I won't let you die here either. Someday you can go back to our world, back to the Other Place. But I don't..." She paused, choosing her words carefully. Now was really not the time to tell him why she didn't want to return home. How she had been slipping away, just like he was now, only without any promise of resurrection awaiting her. No, now was not the time.

"I don't need any of that. I can be... happy here. You won't lose me."

Bartimaeus grinned cheekily for a moment as Kitty blushed and squirmed and tried to stay disinterested. She was so transparent at times. An open book. But he didn't reply as their conversation went serious.

"If you try to take on the burden of everyone who suffers you'll break!" Bartimaeus argued back, just as incensed as she was now. He hated that she wanted to solve the world's problems. Save everyone, help everyone. She couldn't possibly do it! "You have limits, just as I do."

Bartimaeus after his initial outburst wavered, but he stayed up, stayed strong. He looked down at this girl who was as dear to him in ways as Ptolemy had been to him. He didn't want her to die, he didn't want someone else to die to give him life. He had to get this through before he weakened again.

"I've been given the gift of life twice by two I've cared for, I won't take that gift a third time Kitty Jones." That was it, he wavered falling back down to the couch, eyes shut tightly. Lines furrowed in the delicate brow with frustration. He hated, hated, HATED being so weak.

"If you try and sacrifice yourself for me... I'll... never forgive you."

"Being afraid of the consequences shouldn't stop you when someone you lov-" She broke off for a moment, just catching herself in mid-tirade. "When someone you care about needs help! It doesn't matter whether you succeed or not!" Kitty couldn't bear how obstinate he was sometimes. He thought he understood everything, he thought that the world could never be changed. Why couldn't he understand? "All that matters is that you try. You can't give up before you even try!"

Kitty could see how angry he was, how certain. Her eyes widened when he spoke again, when he said... cared. But she refused to waver, to look away, to back down. "You can't expect me just to sit back and do nothing! I won't just let you die, not without even trying to help!"

She had more to say, a lot more to say, most of it incoherent protestations much along the same lines of what she'd said already, but then he... faltered. Fell. And she halted, instantly, closing her mouth, reaching out towards him, his pained expression cutting her like a knife. "Bartimaeus..."

His voice was back to sounding how it had before, and that alone would have made her pause, but the actual words he was saying... that made her stop altogether. Her hand, which had been reaching out towards his face, hesitated and fell gently on his chest. "If you die..." Kitty swallowed audibly, "If you die, I'll never forgive myself."

"I will try! I will try any other method before I will use one that takes your life to supplement my own!" There had to be other ways. He didn't want to go that route. He'd seen two masters die to save his own life and he didn't want to see Kitty die and be trapped here.

"I won't stop you from trying to help, but find another method, Kitty! One that doesn't end with you trapped here!" The look in his eyes was obstinate as hers. He didn't want her to die just for him.

As he fell and was now in his back he lifted one arm to drape over his face. The gesture was somehow elegant, but that might have just been the djinn at work again. He kept his eyes closed, his voice quiet again.

"Kitty, you remember what I told you when you summoned me. I wear this form to honor Ptolemy. I've been around for 5000 years without changing or aging. I've lived long enough. You on the other hand..." He paused, moving his arm so he could look at her. "You have your life ahead of you."

"Of course I'll try and find another way!" She glared right back at him, stubborn as ever, cheeks flushed and brows furrowed. "But if we can't... if there isn't another way then..." Stopping for a moment, she bit her lip, as she often did when thinking. But it only took her mere seconds of thought before she continued. "I'll take whatever option I have. Even if it means that I... I'll take it."

Watching the djinn, she said nothing, merely sitting and listening to his words. She wondered at how even in the middle of sickness, he managed to still have that grace, that strange elegance that fascinated her.

But it wasn't his appearance she was dwelling on now. It was his words. And how he thought that... he thought that her life was...

"Listen, Bartimaeus, I've been meaning to tell..." She looked away now, eyes fixed at some indiscernible spot on the floorboards. "I... if I went back home, I... I wouldn't really have a life ahead of me."

"I won't let you. I'll leave before you die for me." Bartimaeus replied, his calm tone getting a sharper tone to it. Didn't she understand that he wanted to keep her from harm? She was Ptolemy's legacy, he wanted to protect that. But the circumstances always seemed to be against him in all cases. "Don't..."

Bartimaeus gathered his strength again, pushing himself into a sitting position as she started to say something. He stared down at her curiously, adopting an expression Ptolemy often used when something confused or befuddled him. Of course, nothing befuddled Ptolemy for long, he'd dissect the problem and eventually have the perfect solution to it.

"What do you mean?"

"We'll have to agree to disagree then," she spoke through gritted teeth to match his harsh voice. She knew they were both as stubborn as the other, but this was ridiculous. Why couldn't he understand that...

She pulled back her hand with a jolt at his sudden movement. And at his expression, her face fell. Why had she said it? She was so stupid! Now was not the time to tell him this, of all things!

But she knew he wouldn't let it rest. And so...

"After the Gate, I... I never really recovered. My body was weak, it was ageing, and I..." She breathed in, swallowed, ran her hands through her hair. It was still hard to say it. She still got a headache every time she thought about it. Could feel the echoes of tiredness in her bones like she was back in her ruined body...

"I was dying."

Bartimaeus cocked his head to the side, another trait adopted from Ptolemy , as Kitty's face fell. Obviously she wasn't comfortable with the subject. What could it be?

He listened, his face turning grave as she began to explain. He never was able to observe what happened to Ptolemy thanks to his premature demise. But... she was... she was dying? The disbelief was there, and just as she thought of him as strong he simply couldn't fathom the girl dying.

"You were..."

He face hardened, ill or not, he wouldn't cave to what she wanted to do. "Dying or not, Kitty Jones, you won't be giving your life for mine."

His face was impossible to read, and at that moment Kitty wished above anything in else she could know what she was thinking. She'd been dreading this moment. When she'd told Nathaniel his reaction had been... emotional. And they had both agreed it would be dangerous to tell Bartimaeus, there was no telling was he might...

"I... I was. But getting pulled into the City... here, it healed me. I don't know whether getting pulled through dimensions again reset me, or if it's just this place, but here I..." After what seemed like an eternity of looking at the ground, she met his disbelieving eyes.

"Here I'm alive. And if I want to be happy, if I want to actually have a life to live, then I need to... I need to stay here. In the City."

In contrast to his hardening face, her own softened, her words quiet now, gentle. "If I die here, then I'm safe. If I die then I don't have to leave here, I won't be able to. It'll be fine. But if you die, you'll... I can't let that happen. I won't."

Bartimaeus couldn't accept that. Didn't want to accept that she needed the city. Gathering every bit of strength in his form he stood, face showing his displeasure.

"Regardless of your need for this city, I will not take your aura."

His voice crackled with power again. Then stepping past her and moving with a speed that would almost lead someone to believe he wore seven league boots, he moved to his room. He opened the door and then shut and locked it with what he hoped projected a sense of finality.

Of course... the sound of him falling to the ground, his energies spent was still audible. But then, he had lost conciousness so who was he to care?

For once in her life, Kitty had absolutely nothing to say. She couldn't form the words in her mouth. They wouldn't even form in her mind. She had told Bartimaeus... she had been dreading this for months, and he simply... he glared at her. He said... he said nothing. Nothing except...

Except...

And then he was gone.

She sat there for a moment, completely dumbfounded. She had tried to explain, tried to make him see why she did what she did, why there were things she could and couldn't do and he... I will not take your aura.

What was wrong with her? Why wouldn't he... was it because she was weak? Was it because she was human? If he cared about her and his own self at all, then surely he'd kill two birds with one stone? Keep her safe in the City, keep him alive? Instead he was flouncing off into his bedroom (some dim part of her mind shouted that he never used that room properly). She heard the slam of the door. She heard the turn of the key. And she heard the muted thud as the djinn fell to the ground.

Leaping up from the floor she ran to the door, "Bartimaeus!" No answer. She called his name again. "Please open up!" She knocked quickly, rapping her first on the door so hard it hurt her knuckles.

He didn't answer. Kitty, stubborn as ever, remained there for... she didn't know how long. Until her voice when hoarse and her hand was throbbing from banging on the wood that separated her from her friend.

And then, suddenly, she stopped. She lowered her hand. She closed her eyes. And then she walked to her own room, closing her own door firmly, mirroring the djinn's own actions to a T.

Except, if anyone had been listening now, the strange sound they heard next would not be a thump of falling. It would be faint, very faint, and sound almost like... muffled crying.

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