SxK sexuality reversal log, complete!

[fateisabitch.livejournal.com]

When; Dec 22nd, close to midnight.
Rating; PG-13
Characters; Shirou Kamui (fateisabitch) & Sumeragi Subaru (angstmagnet)
Summary; The sexual reversal curse hits Subaru, and Kamui is, well, there.
Log;

Subaru had never had a problem regulating his behaviors, though he would have to admit that the particular area that would have to be addressed here was not a common problem. He did not tend to find himself inclined toward invading another's space as much as he was feeling tempted to, if he had ever. While there were instances where proximity was acceptable he was having a time grappling with how bad his current actions may have been. Especially the factor that while he might be victim to one of the many curses occurring of late, that did not seem to him an excuse to not only be oddly near the other occupant of the couch--in spite of much free space, he'd noted many times--and a bit too inclined to touches that really had no purpose.

Or excuse. Something of both. And while those things already seemed bad the things that seemed to have crawled out of some dark space in his mind were really no better. In fact he was finding himself quite unsettled by them. And while he'd try to correct himself it seemed to do very little good.

Okay, so something was obviously wrong with Subaru. Kamui knew this, and yet... well, he sooo wasn't complaining. Subaru was... well, right next to him; as in, practically pressed against him. It felt... somehow nice, especially since the other's body was so heated. Oh, and then there were the touches Kamui kept receiving from his companion: gentle, soft strokes along the arm, an "accidental" brush against his outer thigh or knee... it was more than once that he had to repress a shiver.

"Nn... Subaru... are you okay...?" he finally asked, kicking himself mentally immediately because, well... what if Subaru stopped? Kamui liked this sort of attention from the other, damn it. He wanted to soak it in while he could.

It seemed in his own mind that there had to be something wrong if he was behaving in a way so unlike himself, but perhaps in he saw it as worse than it really was. Of course, Kamui couldn't exactly read thoughts. Perhaps that was a very good thing, as Subaru didn't think he'd want to project any of that at anyone. He was unsettled by the idea that it was coming from his own mind. And there was only so much that being under the effects of a curse could truly explain, wasn't there?

"I'm... not sure. But since I don't normally..." His gaze fell to one of his hands, rather bothered that it seemed oddly inclined to travel. While he could manage to quit that for a moment it was under the defeated awareness that the cease wasn't at all permanent. He didn't seem to have control over this at all. "Sorry..."

Kamui blinked, confused as to what was bothering Subaru. Yeah, he was acting strangely, but... perhaps he was ill? An odd, wonderful illness, but still. "Maybe you're sick?" He pondered aloud as he shifted, turning a little to lean over the other a bit. With a concerned little look, he pressed his hand to Subaru's forehead, their faces rather close, but thinking nothing of it. "Hmm... you don't seem to have a fever or anything..."

Had he been sick, Subaru would have been far less disturbed. However, he was fairly certain he could not attribute this to illness. Certainly not the thoughts that were going through his mind, much as he'd like to think those would perhaps go away. Finding Kamui's face was suddenly very near him did nothing to quell whatever it was that had decided to so rudely take over, shoulders bunching a bit as he tried to will himself to not do anything.

Kamui wasn't satisfied; the tensing of Subaru's shoulders worrying him that something more was wrong. "Hey... relax..." he whispered, breath hot against his friend as he began to rub his shoulders a little, trying to ease out the tension.”Are you upset about something?" That'd explain it all, actually... the need for closeness, the tension. That had to be it, right? Kamui just hoped Subaru wasn't upset because of him or something.

"N-no... That's not it." Subaru was half inclined to grimace at the fact that Kamui's actions while intending to help were only making his problems monumentally worse. Whatever this was he wasn't very successful with getting some kind of handle on it. And that was only confirmed when apparently he saw fit to pin the other boy against the couch and kiss him. Yeah, not liking the division between one thought process and another. He was sure this was far past breaking someone's personal boundaries, much less what he'd considered his own normal behaviors.
"Then what is..." he managed to get out before he was... well... distracted? By Subaru. On top of him. And kissing him.

What the hell was going on? No way this was normal for shy little Subaru. Was this... a curse? Had to be. Still, Kamui wasn't complaining; feeling bad that he was enjoying this more than he should. It was, after all, something he had wanted, but it was... wrong to enjoy it when it wasn't because Subaru wanted this as well, right? "Mmf!" he squeaked, wriggling a little, but kissing back none the less. Oh, Subaru was going to hate him for this tomorrow.

Subaru would've expected some sort of negative response, having pounced on his friend rather abruptly with no real excuse to have done so, and some reaction of that sort not happening confused him. There was no good reason to do this to someone but it didn't help his understanding that Kamui was apparently going along with it. Were he some other person he might've made a logical conclusion there, but this was Subaru and therefore the obvious was just past his understanding. It took more effort than he'd like to admit to pull away but he managed at least a minor success. "I... sorry."

"Mn..." was all Kamui could say at first, slightly dazed by the kiss. "It's... it's okay, really..." he managed out, finally, making more sense. Kinda. Of course, in his head, he was swearing quite efficiently over Subaru pulling back, even though... it was for the best. 'God, I'm a horrible person'

Carefully, he brought a hand to the other's face, gently touching his cheek in a reassuring gesture. "It... it's a curse, right?" And he knew that answer would just depress him more.

"I guess..." Although it was making him feel as though his mind were some little rodent on a wheel, and that rodent had tripped. He was confused, especially not knowing what sort of curse this was supposed to be exactly. Whatever it was, it had generated more confusion than anything else. Beyond that he knew his friend was capable of fighting him off. As nice as Kamui was, Subaru was fairly certain there were limits on people's patience regardless of whether a curse was in effect or not.

He would really have liked to know why it was bothering him so much. "...Why didn't you do something?" The question wasn't leaving his mind, a quandary along with the difficulty he was having with refraining from doing anything else.

And suddenly Kamui was stuck in a deer-in-the-headlights look, blushing rather noticeably. Oh, was he ever screwed now.

"Um..." he tried to think of a good lie, but found that he couldn't conjure one up; half because he was unwilling to lie to someone he loved. "Why... why would I?" It was the best response he could think of, at a loss of what to do now. Running and hiding was always an option, but... he didn't want Subaru to think what he'd done was specifically wrong. If anyone was in the wrong here, it was Kamui, who so felt as if he'd taken advantage of Subaru just now.

"Because I just... well..." Subaru wasn't seeing why someone wouldn't put up a fight if they were randomly accosted like that. True he hadn't done anything absolutely terrible but the fact that he'd done anything at all made him feel badly. After all his friend didn't deserve to be treated like that. It wasn't fair of him. Odd how it was somewhat disheartening to remind himself of that, but perhaps that was the curse too. "Because..."

And he was not coming up with a because. Brilliant. He knew it but for some reason he wasn't actually saying it. Perhaps he was getting stupider along with more invasive. Somehow he was finding that more and more he'd prefer to hit his head against a wall and avoid doing worse. It was unsettling to think he could do worse.

Kamui stared and waited for a because, but when none came, he just... tried to smile reassuringly. "It's okay, Subaru. Don't worry about it." He ruffled his hair a little, careful not to mess it TOO much. "It's not like it was bad or anyth..." and then he froze. Shit, had he really just said that? Was he stupid or something? "I... I mean... um..." Oh, how he failed at life.
A long mental pause there. Subaru wasn't sure how he was supposed to interpret that. At all. His thought process derailed he tried to figure out why Kamui had said that, much less chosen that time to get really awkward about it. He blinked, tried to come up with something, failed. Further he was having increased difficulty with his present...ailment? Whatever it was. "...Pardon?"

"N-nothing!" he yelped, somehow grateful for his friend's dense nature. "I... I just... um... it wasn't... I wasn't... I didn't..." He really needed to shut up is what he needed to do; his face now a lovely cherry red as he licked his lips nervously. "Just don't worry about it, okay? Really. I'm not... mad or anything, I..." rather liked it, but he didn't want Subaru to know that. Ever. Because Subaru would probably flip out and then never talk to him again, right? Of course, he still spoke to him now, after all that Kamui had confessed, but... this... was pushing it...

Somehow nothing didn't seem very much like nothing when Kamui was tripping over himself. It wasn't a common occurrence that the other boy was reduced to that state and he didn't think it was ever without any reason. He was pretty sure that as with most people there had to be purpose for it. Shame he really wasn't making too much sense of it. "Then... why are you acting like that?"

Why wasn't the couch just randomly coming to life and devouring him? Why? Was it so much to ask? He'd made a chair come to life once by accident, damn it!

"Um..." And now what was he supposed to say? It was either make Subaru feel guilty, or it was indirectly confess that he had a thing for him. Funny how he almost always tended to back himself into a corner like this. It was also funny how his brain couldn't gear up enough to say things in words, instead giving into the worst idea ever: kissing Subaru. Might as well enjoy himself before Subaru kicked him out, right?

Subaru blinked, stunned by what had come in place of a verbal response. He remembered that when he'd first come back Kamui had kissed him, though that was rather instantaneous and he'd assumed merely a friendly gesture. There were people who did things like that and so to him it had been reasonable enough to dismiss it. However in this situation he wasn't seeing why his friend had elected that course of action. Especially given his present state, where he was inclined to respond in kind, wanting to kick himself when one of his hands took up the practice of straying again.

He was understanding this situation less and less.

Oh, Kamui knew that he should stop this now; should push the other away and make a run for it before things got worse, but sadly... his want was winning out. He just... wanted this too much, and, yeah... Subaru's hand moving like that so wasn't helping his moral center retake control here. Not when it was moving down his side so temptingly to rest on his waist. Ugh, he was going to hell for taking advantage of his "friend" like this.

Of course, it also wasn't helping things that one of his own hands started roaming, touching and running down Subaru's back in an almost massaging gesture. Why, god... why did he suck so much when it came to self-control?

Subaru was tempted to think that Kamui was being effected by whatever this curse was, however he didn't think it was likely. Considering that the other boy hadn't done anything until he'd taken such actions it didn't seem probable. But then what was he supposed to interpret from this?

It wasn't getting any easier to think about the situation from any objective standpoint when those hands were running over his back. For him it was an entirely foreign gesture, though apparently one his body took a liking to, and that only added to the growing list of things that left him completely at a loss in this situation. The list wasn't getting any shorter when the nature of any already confusing kiss changed, something Subaru seemed to have little control of if any. He hadn't ever had the impulse to invade someone else's mouth with his tongue, but that could be said for any of this. What a curse for him to be hit with.

Kissing back was all Kamui could do at this point, playing with the other's tongue, still blushing. Yeah, this was most decidedly good. Too good... and then his mind suddenly snapped to, and he realized that, well, he was basically making out with Subaru... a curse influenced Subaru... who wouldn't do this normally. Yeah. Finally, his morals seemed to kick in properly, and he broke the kiss, turning his head to the side. He couldn't look at the other right now at all. "Subaru... I... I'm so sorry...!"

In light of the fact that he'd very little control over his own actions Subaru was fairly relieved that Kamui had done something about it this time around. He didn't want to be such a bad friend like this. Whether he was being controlled by some curse or not he felt that he was at fault for these things. Perhaps he should have gone elsewhere instead of being around the other boy. Likely would have avoided this situation. It came as something of a relief that Kamui wasn't looking at him, already beating himself up over this. "No, it's my fault. I should've... should've done something when I started acting weird."

Something other than delay an inevitable violation of another's space, amongst other faults.

"No!" Kamui suddenly turned back at the other, all worry on his features. He didn't want Subaru blaming himself; definitely not. "It wasn't your fault at all! You're being influenced by a curse, and I'm not, and I... I... took... advantage of you..." he trailed off, now looking rather ashamed. "I shouldn't have kissed you again... or touched you...or anything. Not when I know you're not acting right. I'm sorry..."

"But that's..." Subaru of course wanted to protest but he wasn't sure what to say. He didn't blame Kamui for anything but formulating a response to those words was proving to be difficult. What was there to say to something like that? As of yet he didn't even know what to make of it. Knowing the other boy was a nice person he couldn't truly fault him. Not that he liked to blame anyone for anything. "You shouldn't blame yourself like that."

"But still... it... it was my fault..." Thank god Subaru wasn't questioning why Kamui'd kissed him that second time; what that action had meant. He wouldn't have know what to do if that'd happened. "And I'm still sorry. I... I'd understand if you didn't want to be near me again, and..." Somehow, that was Kamui's default reaction to him doing something he perceived as wrong around or with Subaru. Maybe this time, though... Subaru would agree with it...?

Again Subaru was ready to argue, though distracted by the fact that certain things in his mind suddenly cleared--what a relief that was--and he had to look at a clock. Midnight. That meant whatever it was, he didn't have to worry about being influenced by it anymore. Which was good save for the fact that the other boy was fixed on blaming himself when he wasn't the only person doing something. He'd been the one to start it and not Kamui.

"I'm sorry too." He was, for making someone so upset. But he wasn't going to let his friend go on blaming himself. And so although it caused an impressive amount of embarrassment for him in his normal state he kissed Kamui again before ruffling his hair. "See? Can't blame yourself entirely." That said he got off of his friend before that became even more awkward than it already was. And surely that wasn't at all comfortable.

"Huh? What do you...?" Kamui glanced at the clock as well, instantly blushing once more and putting his fingers to his lips, surprised. Midnight... so that kiss was... on Subaru's own will? "Ah..." he smiled shyly as the other got off him, sitting up awkwardly. "Um... well, I'm not mad at you at all, so you don't have to..." Except that he and Subaru so would keep going with apologizing if he didn't stop it. "Let's just call it even?"

"...Okay. Just don't be mad at yourself." Subaru figured none of that would have happened had he not been acting strangely so Kamui really didn't need to be blaming himself so much. But if they were done apologizing back and forth hopefully the other boy wasn't going to guilt himself anymore over it. He hated the idea of making his friend feel bad like that, and over something that the city had done. Though it did leave him with a fair number of questions. Like what the curse even was.

"Okay. I won't be mad at myself if you promise you won't be, either." So. Once again, Subaru wasn't going to hate him? Even though he'd... oh well. What was there to complain about here? Kamui did get to make out with Subaru without any real... problems arising from it. Unless, of course, from now on, Subaru would be awkward around him. Oh god, and what if that was what would happen? To test it, hoping it not to be so, Kamui smiled gently and then hugged Subaru, careful as to not being too forceful.

Subaru was a bit surprised by the sudden hug, but given the abrupt things he'd done previously he supposed that it wasn't anything to be stunned by. It wasn't as though hugs were entirely uncommon between them, returning the gesture after a few moments. Kamui was his friend so there was nothing wrong with it. He'd just try and set aside the things he'd done under the influence of that curse, at least as best he might. He wasn't exactly accustomed to trying not to blame himself over things. "I'll try..."

"Good enough..." he sighed out, content in that Subaru was returning the hug, before he pulled back. It was a very good sign to Kamui, indeed. But he had to admit it was a little curious about... "Though, it... it wasn't really that bad, w-was it?" Damn it, was he ever going to get to stop blushing? Course, this was totally his fault this time; he couldn't just settle with them forgetting the whole thing, now could he? No, he had to say what he was pondering.

Subaru blinked, immediately blushing again as that question set in. And subsequently redirecting his gaze since he never did like people seeing just how flustered he was. "I uh.... well..." He wasn't sure how he was supposed to reply to that. It wasn't as though he'd done something like that before with anyone, though he'd never been affected by a curse like that either. "I... I don't think so. But I hadn't..." That was all he seemed capable of getting out, considering how embarrassed he could get over the smallest things.

That was when another fact of all this set in: this had been Subaru's first real kiss. "O-oh! I'm... really sorry that I was the one who was... your, um, f-first kiss." Though, he wasn't really that sorry. It somehow made his stomach do a few fluttery flops to know that he'd been his first there. Not Sakurazuka or anyone else. It was just a shame it hadn't happened under better circumstances, with Subaru doing it 100% on his own. But then... there was that little kiss afterwards, and... ugh, this was giving Kamui a headache.

"N-no it's... really... it's okay." It wasn't like it meant that much to most people anyhow, and considering the fact that most people had probably done those sorts of things before him it probably wasn't a big deal. And Kamui was his friend. He could've been in real trouble had he gone out and about and done something like that. Probably something that girls focused on more anyway. Or as much he was going to let himself believe. "Don't worry about it." He'd rather the other boy not have to apologize more.

"I'll... okay," he nodded, scooting a little closer to snuggle against Subaru, hoping he'd allow that as well. "If you're sure it's okay." Subaru, it seemed, was very tolerant of him; more so than anyone else he knew. Other than the older Subaru, of course, who often had to put up with his random brattiness and habit of making stupid decisions on a whim.

"It's fine." Subaru wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. Kamui already worried too much over so many things and he'd rather not make the other fret even more than he already did. He just hoped he could avoid making the other boy worry too much about anything else. The last thing he wanted to do was add to whatever list of concerns Kamui already had.