tampered | Log; Ongoing

Log; Ongoing

When; December 30th, evening
Rating; PG at the most?
Characters; Rangiku and Momo
Summary; Ran wants to take a walk.
Log; There was a little more spring in Rangiku's steps as she made her way to Xanadu. The lush gardens were perfect for a quiet conversation with a friend and that was exactly what she had in mind. So many things had happened over the past few days that she wanted somewhere to unwind a little without her usual distractions. Since she needed to talk to Momo about everything, it filled dual purposes.

She'd decided to fore go her usual robes, opting for casual clothes. The change in color from black to green brought a warmth to her skin, but it wasn't just the color. The skin was warm on its own, and she didn't feel quite as heavy as she had for the past several months.

Just into the gardens, she paused and silently wished that she'd brought Haineko. It wasn't a matter of protection, just familiarity. There was still a soft purr in the back of her mind and she knew that if summoned, her zanpakutou would be beside her in an instant. Keeping that in mind, she strolled off down a path to the left, knowing Momo would easily be able to find her and catch up.

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The whole thing made her nervous. Probably because Rangiku had seemed so serious, suggesting they talk. Or maybe it was just that every little thing set the small shinigami on guard, be it Nell waking her up in the morning or simply making something to eat. She was, quite literally, a mess. Mentally anyway.

Physically, outwardly, nothing seemed wrong. She even managed a small smile as she moved through the gardens, tracing Rangiku by her reiatsu. Yet another old habit, but one she didn't mind having.

Thinking about it, there were only so many things the blonde shinigami would want to talk about, most of which would come back to Aizen, if not Grimmjow. She didn't want to talk about the latter, but the former... The former had restored her life, while at the same time tricking the deities. She'd called him selfish, hadn't she? Was that simply because she would have let them take everything from her without caring if she regained it, or because he gotten there first?

...Or because he didn't care what happened to Nemu.

She'd been thinking far too much lately, on one thing or another, none of which had been doing wonders for her mental state, so it wasn't all too surprising when she almost walked into the very same person she was looking for. Stopping herself just short, Hinamori's hand came up to tug at the vice captain's badge as she offered an apologetic smile. "...Sorry. I didn't think I'd catch up that quickly."

Ran blinked when she was almost run over, but she still offered a smile. "I figured you would. Funny thing is.. I should've known you were coming. I didn't even sense you." Granted, she'd been too busy with her own thoughts to pay attention to the tugs of reiatsu that signalled the approach of her fellow vice captain. "My mind's been wandering a little too much lately."

She started walking again, knowing Momo would fall in step with her.

"You've been very distracted lately. Can I help with something?"

Fall into step she did, along with silence. It took her a moment to respond, trying to find some way of saying without saying. Hinamori had never really been very good at that.

"I don't know. There's a lot going on right now... I'm not even sure what it is that bothers me the most any more," was what she finally settled on, holding back a heavy sigh.

She didn't look over at her friend, choosiing instead to keep her eyes on her feet. She knew that what she wanted to talk to Momo about might not be a pleasant thing, but she didn't want her to hear it from anyone else. That didn't mean she wanted to dive right into it, either...

"Is it just stuff with Grimmjow, or something else?"

"He... confuses me. But it's not just that." She couldn't hold back the sigh this time, and her hand once again strayed to the badge on her arm. "I feel like I don't know what I'm doing anymore. There's always been someone to give me orders, and before that, there was always someone telling me what to do. In the academy, with Granny... I don't know if it's because I have to make my own decisions, or because I'm just not used to it without someone else there to approve it, but-" Could she admit it again?

She knew deep down that she would always want Hitsugaya around, but the dark haired girl never really knew why. It was easy enough to say she missed him, that was expected, normal. There were best friends, at least to her. But with everything happening, forcing herself to remove Aizens presence in her heart, trying to come to terms with Grimmjow's admittance of having feelings in general - and then for her - Hinamori really didn't know anymore.

It wasn't that the short captain could instantly solve it for her, by any means. She just wanted to see him again.

She listened in silence. Confusion seemed to be a common thing in dealing with the arrancar lately, as well as their master. Catching the nervous gesture from the corner of her eye, her own hand twitched, suddenly wanting something to fiddle with. "Orders is all well and good, but you can't live on them. Especially now." The words sounded hollow to her.

"I think that's why I was so happy to see taichou when he got here. It was something... normal. I knew that things were at least similar with him here. Now... well. Things change."

"I've... noticed." It would have to come out sooner or later, wouldn't it? They were both avoiding the subject but...

Hinamori paused, watching Rangiku from behind. "He says he cares for you."

Her feet stop their motion, but it isn't as graceful as normal. She didn't know if she should turn to face her; face what might be said. The vice captain in her wanted to force her around to face anything Momo would throw at her. The rarely seen part of her still that lost child from Rukongai wanted nothing more than to disappear.

The best she could do was turn halfway, her head down so that her hair hid most of her face.

"Did he?"

She'd guessed the problem, hadn't she. "Yes." She half shrugged, bringing her hands to her side, brushing against Tobiume's sheath. Silly.

"I... thought I'd care more. But I don't. Somehow, he doesn't matter to me anymore, not like that." If she really stopped to think about it, Aizen was more like a father figure than anything else. Her feelings had never really been for him, if indeed they'd been for the person she thought he was. "If that's what you wanted to talk about then, I already know. You don't have to worry," she chuckled nervously, shrugging again.

Shocked didn't describe Rangiku's expression. It lasted an instant before she let it fade. "I was worried. I thought you'd be upset... but I'm glad that you're not." Finally facing her, she smiled a slight smile.

"I suppose, this way, we can keep a closer eye on all of them..."

"Huh?" Wait... did she know about what Grimmjow had said? She knew the other arrancar - and Aizen - knew but... He hadn't said he'd told any one else. She flushed noticably, and tried to play it off with, "you mean because Isane's watching Grimmjow?"

Hinamori half wanted to know how Rangiku felt, but if she'd been afraid of even mentioning it at all, maybe it was better not to.

"Yeah. If she can handle watching him." She hadn't missed the color bloom over Momo's face, but she didn't pry. If she wanted to tell her, she would. "She's intimidated by him, but that's nothing new. I think he'd like it better if you were still taking care of him."

"Oh... well... Probably because I wasn't jumping to conclusions. I told him outright I just wanted to learn about the arrancar, and that didn't seem to phase him much. I think he was surprised there was a shinigami that didn't treat him like someone who needed to be killed outright." Another nervous chuckle, her hand one again strayed to her vice captains badge, giving it yet another tug. It felt heavier, for some reason.

She knew it was silly, to have talked to both the Espada like it didn't matter who they were, simply because she had no interest in fighting them. There had been times where they could have, if wanted, killed her, and she would have been unprepared utterly. But they hadn't, had answered her questions, had-

...Grimmjow. Smacking herself mentally she shrugged once more. "I suppose I could take over again, if she doesn't want to. It seems pretty noncommital of me, to offer to do it, only to drop it, and then take it back up again... But I don't have much else to do, really."

"I think they all know we're not out to indiscriminately kill them. It would be foolish on our part, not to mention the chaos a drawn out battle would cause in the city." The thought of all the destruction that could be caused... She shivered.

This time, she couldn't help it. Her hand moved to close over Momo's on the adjutant badge. "She can handle it, unless there's a reason you want to. Is there?"

"N-no... It might make him stop complaining though? I don't know... I just don't want anyone to feel they have to do it because I won't." She almost - almost - jumped at the touch. Recently, it had only been Nell, jumping and latching onto her, but when it hadn't been Nell-

She was blushing again, letting her thoughts run away from her. Stupid. "I guess... I know Isane doesn't like him. I don't feel right, leaving it to her if she doesn't really want to."

She felt the muscles tighten under her hand. With a sigh, she dropped her hand and tucked them both behind her back, fingers twining to keep them still. "It's up to you, Momo. It always is."

Silly girl. "I suppose. I'll... think about it." The Espada would either love or hate it, if she switched with Isane. He didn't exactly seem overly happy with her recently but that was probably more because she hadn't given him an answer yet, as opposed to anything else.

She knew she was frustrating him, but Hinamori knew that she needed time, needed to be able to think about it clearly. Not that she'd really been able to yet. Her first attempt had already been thwarted by the angel and the ninja, leaving her once again in a jumble of thoughts.

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Log; Ongoing

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