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tampered2006-06-24 05:57 pm
senbon-shinobi.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2006-06-24 05:57 pm
Log: Complete
When; Recently. Ish.
Rating; PG-13 to R?
Characters; Hayate [![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hayate] and Genma [senbon_shinobi]
Summary; Genma dances around naked and serenades Hayate, things get fluffy, things get angsty, things get fluffy again, and the end. It's really insanely long. These two never shut up.
Log;
In general, Genma was pretty damn shameless. He didn't particularly care what others thought about him, and likewise, belting out a song in the shower with only the chance of Hayate hearing him was no big deal. Everyone sang in the shower anyway, right? Not just… women. Right?? Whatever, he was going to do it anyways.
He was still singing when he turned the water off, stepping out onto the mat and grooving to the beat and rhythm that was straight from his memory. His voice wasn't professional level or anything like that, but it was pleasant to listen to and for the most part, he managed to stay on key. Surprisingly. "Cooooome on, sugah, let me know..." he sang, toweling off his blonde hair before moving to dry himself off.
A wicked, silly idea popped into Genma's head just then, and with a sly grin, he slung his towel over his shoulder and sauntered back into the bedroom where Hayate was still lying in bed. Winking salaciously at his boyfriend, Genma started dancing, sexy and ridiculous at the same time. "If you want my body, aaaaand you think I'm sexy, come on sugah, let me knoooow," he sang, louder now, dancing slowly towards Hayate, both ignoring and completely aware of the fact that he was stark naked. That was the part of the fun, after all.
Hearing the water turn off in the bathroom, Hayate burrowed further into the warm spot on the bed Genma had vacated, nose buried in a pillow that smelled like his lover's shampoo, and sighed softly. He was getting very used to the luxury of lingering in bed, with nothing better to do. Some would say that allowing that to happen was bad, but he technically was no longer a shinobi, as he had already given his life to his village. Plus, in this city, there wasn't really anything he could do.
The door to the bedroom opened then, drawing Hayate from his reverie. Turning his head to greet his boyfriend, Hayate merely gaped and turned an interesting shade of pink. There was Genma, doing a none-too-shabby rendition of "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" and dancing around the room in a way that drew attention to the fact that he was very, unignorably naked. "Genma, wh-what are you doing? Put some clothes on before you get sick!"
Genma shook his head, still dancing, still grinning, still singing. "If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on honey, tell me sooooooo," he crooned, yanking the towel off of his shoulder and swinging it around artfully. Genma was really starting to get into this, completely enjoying the pink flush on Hayate's cheeks. He definitely planned on pouncing on the other man once his performance was finished, but for now, he kept on singing.
Besides, he wouldn't really catch a cold. He hoped not, anyway. And even if he did, he could always just make sad puppy faces and ask Hayate to take care of him. It would mean being pampered and getting extra snuggles. Maybe. Or on the other hand, Hayate might tell him that it served him right. Oh well. He was having too much fun dancing outrageously and singing now, almost at the top of his lungs, winking and making suggestive faces at his lover.
Groaning loudly at the sight of his lover - and denying wildly, if silently, that this spectacle was at all intriguing - Hayate buried his face in Genma's pillow once more, peeking up every so often. Not to check out Genma, though, of course not. He was just making sure that his lover was still making a fool out of himself. Yes. That was it. Of course.
"I know what you're thinking," he said, words muffled against the pillow. "Don't think I'm going to baby you if you get sick. You're a grown man and can take care of yourself." His words, of course, carried no heat, since he knew he'd cave once Genma turned the puppy dog eyes on him. It happened every time, despite the fact that he always geared himself up to say no, eventually he'd fold like a house of cards. He still had to keep up appearances, though, and so he gave Genma a stern look that was ruined by his blush and disheveled state.
Spinning around one last time, Genma balled up his towel and chucked it back into the bathroom before flinging himself (carefully to avoid injury to certain parts) onto the bed next to Hayate, burrowing beneath the covers. He was still singing, softer now, wrapping his bare limbs around his still sleep-mussed boyfriend. "If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy…"he grinned between words, leaning down to nip at Hayate's ear. "Come on, sugah, let me knoooow," he finished, before finally dissolving into laughter, dropping his head next to Hayate's on the pillow, slightly out of breath.
"Oh god. That was entertaining. You were blushing," he turned his head, grinning at the other man salaciously as he pulled him closer. "And you would too take care of me if I got sick. You're no match for my sad puppy eyes," Genma laughed again, reaching up to brush a few dark strands of hair away from Hayate's eyes so he could better see his face.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hayate mumbled once more, refusing to look at Genma, who was altogether too close for him to lie so blatantly while looking at him. "And your puppy dog eyes have nothing to do with it. You just whine worse than a child when you're sick, and the sooner I give into your requests, the sooner you stop complaining." The last few words came out breathy, with no strength in them, eyes drifting closed as Genma's fingers traced over his features, brushing stray hairs from his face. It was all Hayate could do to say something that would bring the focus away from himself.
"Winded, are you? Maybe you should start working out again if a little dancing is making you tired. What would you do if Godaime-sama called upon you to do a mission?" It was a highly unlikely circumstance, but it could happen. That, and knowing Genma, he'd take it as a personal attack on his manhood and strength. He did always get so defensive about things like that.
Genma thought he had won for a few moments as he watched Hayate's eyes slowly shut, his fingertips tracing absently across his face, but whoa now, a personal remark about his physical condition couldn't be ignored, now could it. "Hey. That was rigorous dancing, plus I just threw myself on the bed, plus I'm naked and you're next to me and we're in bed. Anyone in my position would be winded," he scowled lightly, but it wasn't very genuine and was likewise, not very effective. "I'd be perfectly capable of carrying out a mission."
"And after that performance, you're supposed to say "Yes, Genma, I love your body and I find you sexy. Let's have sex now," Genma cracked a smile again at his own arrogant remark, teasingly leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to Hayate's lips.
Hayate nodded to Genma's words, face affecting a look of concerned sympathy. "Uh huh, of course," he said, his tone placating. He knew he'd get a reaction out of Genma that way, it was guaranteed that the older man would not accept such a reaction.
Though Genma's next words left Hayate hard-pressed not to laugh at their utter absurdity, despite knowing that such a reaction is exactly what Genma would have wanted from him, while knowing he wouldn't get it. "Yes, Genma, I love your body and I find you sexy. Let's have sex now," Hayate deadpanned, waiting to see Genma's reaction. It was bound to be good, whatever it was.
Eyes narrowing at Hayate’s bland reply, Genma sat up a little bit, looking down at the other shinobi suspiciously. That had been too easy. He was ready to argue, but he didn’t say anything yet, until Hayate repeated back exactly what Genma had joked about. Blinking, he merely stared at him, one eyebrow arched, not really knowing how to reply back to that.
“Oi. I’m wounded,” he finally shook his head, giving Hayate a disgruntled look. “You say it like you don’t mean it. It’s because of that damn gray hair, isn’t it,” he muttered, reaching up to pull at his hair and peer at it. “I’m still young,” he protested, dropping his hand from his hair and leaning over Hayate. “Do you need a reminder?” he added, grin returning to his face as he looked down at the other.
Groaning loudly as Genma started in again on his Grey Hair - which definitely deserved capital letters, as it was an Event in Genma's mind - Hayate slumped back against the bed. "You're not still on about that grey hair, are you? It doesn't mean that you're old or anything. Besides, haven't you ever heard that grey hair can be sexy? Distinguished and all that."
Hayate frankly didn't care if Genma had one or one hundred thousand grey hairs, it was never something that he thought about one way or another. Things like that just didn't matter to him, they were so far off the importance radar that they were beyond conception. There were so many other things to worry about out there than something as insignificant as a grey hair. "You don't need to prove something that I already know, silly. But if you still feel so threatened by one little grey hair..."
“Easy for you to brush it off! You don’t have any gray hairs,” Genma muttered pitifully. He knew he was making a big deal about something rather stupid, but it bothered him. He didn’t want to look old. He liked his hair the way it was, and he wanted to be sexy in a young way, not a refined and distinguished way. He didn’t think those two adjectives would ever apply to him.
“I know,” he sighed, plopping back down next to Hayate and propping his head up on his hand and elbow, looking rather petulant. “I’m just going to be old and ugly and you’re going to be cute still,” he made a face. Okay, so he was a little insecure. Not that he thought Hayate would ever leave him for someone else. He was well aware that his feelings towards the other man were reciprocated and then some and the two of them had gone through so much together already. But still. He didn’t want to ever stop being attractive to his boyfriend.
"..." Genma always had such an effect on him, even when they barely knew one another. Hearing that sincere tone in the other man's voice, Hayate merely opened his arms, hands reaching out to tug Genma closer. "You'll never be old or ugly, and I have never been called 'cute' by anyone other than you...and my mother, when I was a very small child. Nothing will change between us, no matter what. Okay?"
Not happy with the direction that the conversation had taken, Hayate flailed a bit for a way to bring Genma out of any funk he might have fallen into. "Ne, senpai, what was it that you were singing in that song again? Refresh my memory, please," he said, nuzzling against the nape of Genma's neck. "I think I forgot just what it was you were saying there."
Nope. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought about him. Genma only cared about Hayate’s opinion, and that had just been made clear yet again. Not that it was ever really doubted, but Genma apparently needed some reassurance every now and again, especially at the onset of gray hair-dom.
Sighing softly in contentment, Genma allowed himself to be pulled closer, likewise tightening his grip around Hayate. “Okay. Sorry, I’m being stupid over one ridiculous little thing. Lucky for me, I have a really smart, level headed and much more mature boyfriend who keeps me in line,” he smiled sincerely, tilting his head to press a sweet kiss to Hayate’s lips, a sort of thank you. “As for that song of mine… I think you remember,” he returned, smile growing into a soft grin again.
It was always funny to Hayate how insecure his usually confident boyfriend could get from time to time. Whereas he, who was much more prone to insecurity, rarely ever had doubting moments like that.
"Well, you know," Hayate said, lips curving with amusement, "someone has to be the adult in this relationship." He chuckled, lips brushing against Genma's once more. "Mmmm, maybe, but I think you should still remind me. My memory can be so fuzzy at times."
“God, yes,” Genma laughed quietly, agreeing wholeheartedly with that statement. He was so immature sometimes, and he was entirely aware of it. Still, he had his serious moments as well, especially when it came to business, or his jounin duties. Genma was lazy but he was no slacker.
Smiling warmly with a sly edge to it, he lowered his mouth to Hayate’s ear, and began to sing again, very softly. “If you want me body, and you find me sexy, come on sugah, let me knoooow,” he crooned, finishing the last line with a quick lick to Hayate’s earlobe, moving his nose down to nuzzle at his neck playfully, yet with obvious affection.
To the few that knew them well enough to know that something had changed rather drastically between himself and Genma, Hayate knew that the change had been a surprise. It hadn't been just the gap in their ages that was surprising, but their very personalities. Hayate especially remembered the shock, and no small amoutn of hurt, that had been in Yuugao's eyes when he had told his childhood friend of his relationship, when it was still in the early stages. It had been a topic that the two largely avoided after that, if only so Hayate could keep that look off of her face again. He knew that she held tender feelings towards him, but they had never been reciprocated, nor would they, not after Genma started pursuing him.
Teasing touches that drew shivers down his spine drew Hayate from his thoughts, sighing softly in contentment. "If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on honey, tell me so," he sung in reply, voice husky, amusement evident in each word.
As Hayate sang those words back to him, Genma was once again struck with just how lucky he was to have him, not just the first time, but this go around as well. Even more so. How many people got second chances with their dead lovers? He was damn lucky and more grateful than words could express. Hayate had never seen it that way, but Genma had thought he was rather lucky to have the other man in his life when they were back home in Konoha, prior to his death.
Yuugao had been beautiful and could have easily ended up with Hayate instead, but what Genma wanted, he pursued fiercely, and Hayate had been what he wanted most of all, who he wanted most of all. And for some reason unbeknownst to him, Hayate happened to feel something back.
Yes, he was definitely lucky, and his gratitude showed clearly on his face as he leaned down for yet another kiss. “I really need you,” Genma repeated the line quietly, a playful look in his eyes but his words sincere nonetheless.
Breath catching momentarily at Genma's words, Hayate's lips curved upwards ever so slightly, the closest to a goofy grin he ever got. He heard words like that more times than he could remember from his lover, but they still gave him pause each time. He held no delusions in him being the only one drawn to the older man, far from it. It was why he never expected anything from the attraction he felt for Genma, and why he had been so surprised himself when Genma's casual conversation went past that of two acquaintances, indicating something far more.
Returning the kiss with one of his own, Hayate's lips moved lightly over Genma's, teasing and tasting alike. He finally broke it a moment later, expression shifting into something more somber, something more akin to his usual look. "I really love you," he said, his words hushed, barely more than a whisper.
It was always rewarding to be treated with a smile like that from Hayate. It wasn’t like Genma didn’t see him smile often. He enjoyed making his boyfriend laugh as much as he could. But Hayate never smiled like Genma did, big and cheesy and cocky. It was always more subdued but much more beautiful, something Genma would only ever admit over pain of death. Or if Hayate bribed him, or asked really nicely.
Hands worn from years of training reached up to gently run through strands of dark hair, and Genma smiled softly at Hayate once their kiss had ended, noting the sincere expression on his face. “And I’m damn lucky you do,” he murmured in return. “I love you too, if I haven’t made that obvious yet,” he added, smile widening a fraction. “Still. Nothing I do or say can really express just how much I really do.”
Heat rose to Hayate's cheeks, making them a pale pink, though he ignored it for the most part, content to focus on this stolen moment, one of many he never thought they'd get to share. Genma did make that fact obvious, told him every day, if not in word, then in deed. Even so, Hayate never tired of hearing it, or seeing it in the little things that Genma did - breakfast in bed, remembering an extra blanket when sitting on the couch together, a scalp massage when he saw that slight bit of tension around Hayate's eyes that signaled a headache, and so many other instances.
"Everything you do or say shows me." The words felt awkward on his tongue, and his cheeks pinkened some more. Except for occasional moments of loquacity, he was normally rather soft-spoken, keeping a tight rein on his words, especially ones so personal as this. That's where Genma's influence came in, though, making Hayate much less reserved than he had been prior to their relationship. The change was for the better, though at times he still faltered over such open honesty.
“Does it?” Genma asked softly, raising his eyebrows hopefully. Being a successful and loyal shinobi was one of his life’s goals. The other was most certainly to make Hayate happy, whether it was by fixing him dinner or doing a sexy naked dance. Hayate was his best friend, his lover, his audience, and occasionally, his conscience. He kept Genma grounded and in touch with reality, calming his insecurities and keeping his sometimes outrageous ego at bay. He really did need him. Those months without him had been painfully unbearable and so very empty.
Perhaps he had been overcompensating for the lost time since they had arrived in the city, but Genma couldn’t care too much about that. He wasn’t wasting any more time, nor was he taking anything for granted. Second chances should never be wasted, after all. “I’m glad. We do have that thing where we can tell what the other’s thinking without even saying it,” he smiled again, a little cheekily this time.
"It does," he replied, a soft smile on his face to match the tone of his voice. It was something that Genma showed him every day, something he tried to reciprocate, but largely felt like he didn't quite get it across. This he tried to blame on his lack of relationship experience. Being a shinobi didn't really invite lasting relationships, and before Genma, he hadn't really thought about anyone in such a manner, male or female, not past the fact that it was almost expected of him to get together with Yuugao and have little ninja babies, something he did not want in the slightest.
Babies. That brought up a subject he had contemplated on more than one occasion. Despite the fact that Genma could act much like a child himself, Hayate often wondered if the other man had ever wanted children. He could tell that if given the opportunity, Genma would be an excellent father. It wasn't something that he liked to think about often, because he didn't like second-guessing things he knew for truth, one such truth being that Genma loved him and didn't want to be with anyone other than him. Which is why that mind-reading thing was so handy, and yet frustrating at the same time. "Mmm, that we do, that we do."
Genma could immediately tell when Hayate lapsed into deep thought. He did that from time to time, and usually, Genma noticed when the other became quiet, his forehead creasing ever so slightly. “You show me every day too, you know,” he pointed out. “Just putting up with me is proof enough that you love me,” he smiled again, winking teasingly at his boyfriend before slipping his arm around his shoulders and tugging him closer, fingers tapping absently on his arm.
“What’re you thinking about, hmm?” he asked after a few more seconds, curious blue eyes roving over Hayate’s facial features, searching for some clue. So much for the mind reading business, he chuckled to himself inwardly. Okay, so it didn’t work all the time. It mostly worked when there was something that needed to be said between them, but was understood even without being spoken. This was a different case, and Genma was curious as to where Hayate’s train of thought had led him.
"Is it?" It took a moment for it to register with Hayate that he had actually said those words out loud, clapping a hand over his mouth in his surprise. A nervous laugh was subsequently muffled, the look on his face rather sheepish. "Sorry about that," he mumbled, drawing his hand away from his mouth again.
Looking away at Genma's inquiry, Hayate merely shrugged, still embarrassed by his previous unintended blunder, not wanting to say something stupid once more. "Mmm, nothing really. Just you, that's all." It was true enough, it just wasn't the whole truth. But really, Hayate couldn't be faulted for trying, even though he already knew he'd be called on his evasiveness. It'd at least prolong things momentarily, before he completely embarrassed himself.
Genma blinked for a moment in surprise, before it faded and his mouth quirked up into another smile. “Yeah, it is, and you know it,” he shook his head, looking bemusedly at his boyfriend, who was now looking sheepish. But now he was avoiding eye contact, and Genma knew he was definitely not answering on purpose.
“Oi. Just me, and that’s it, huh?” he asked, arching one eyebrow inquiringly, fingers tracing absent patterns on Hayate’s shoulder, while his eyes never left the other’s face. “Keeping secrets?” his smile widened teasingly, leaning in for a quick kiss to the cheek.
"Mmm," Hayate hummed softly, eyes drifting closed as he memorized the idle movements of Genma's fingertips against his skin. "Maybe. Shinobi are good at that, you know." That statement in and of itself was both truth and a lie. While shinobi were good at keeping secrets - and Hayate would never give up any of Konoha's secrets, upon pain of death - it was remarkably difficult for him to keep any secrets from Genma.
In another hope to waylay the inevitable, Hayate reached out, running his fingers through Genma's hair, lips quirking into a grin as he spotted another grey hair, though he didn't mention it out loud. It wouldn't do to have his boyfriend have another fit of vanity. It'd only cause more of the dreaded things.
Narrowing his eyes in faux suspicion, Genma merely looked at Hayate for a few moments before sighing exaggeratedly and plopping his head back onto the pillow, once the other was finished running his fingers through it. He wondered if he should ask about that sudden grin on Hayate’s face a moment before, but he decided to pass on that as well.
“Fine, fine, keep your secrets, Gekkou Hayate. I’ll find out eventually. I always do,” he smirked as evilly as he could, looking very wicked and mischievous. “I know your weaknesses, after all. And I know where you sleep,” he grinned, laughing after a moment.
Knowing that expression far too well, Hayate allowed a look of mock distress to come over his features. "Oh no, whatever will I do," he deadpanned. "It seems that not even sleep is sacred anymore, if my very slumber is being threatened.
"And as far as weaknesses go, I have no idea what you're talking about." That of course, was a blatant lie. Genma knew each and every weakness that Hayate had, from his affinity for kittens, to his many ticklish spots, all the way to the fact that certain smells affected him so greatly to the point of nausea, along with everything in between. Though, he didn't lack his own knowledge of Genma's weaknesses. In fact, he hoarded each bit of information like the precious thing it was. It was rare that you got to truly know another person inside and out like they knew one another. It was something to be cherished.
“You’re damn right. You’re most vulnerable when you’re sleeping. And I know that guy who sleeps next to you,” Genma continued smirking, nodding arrogantly. “He can get me in,” he added, looking smug for another moment or two before laughing again.
“Don’t give me that. You know I know every single thing about you,” Genma grinned, full on and affectionately now. He knew dumb girlie things, like Hayate’s favorite color, what side of the bed he preferred, his birthday and his favorite meal. He knew how he looked when he was bothered by something and really didn’t want to show it, or when he was happy about something, or worried. Every facial expression. Every gesture. Genma knew them all.
"Oh. Him," he said, trying hard to keep the laughter from his voice. "You shouldn't listen to a word that he says. He's crazy, you know. Has an ego bigger than the Hokage's monument as well."
He did know that Genma knew everything about him. It had been strange at first, as Genma started seeking out these little details that most people wouldn't bother with getting to know, it had weirded Hayate out on more than one occasion when Genma would show up carrying a cup of coffee just how Hayate liked it, or would have one of Hayate's favorite sweets in his pocket. It had spurred him into trying to learn everything he could about Genma, until it was a competition of sorts. "If you say so..."
“Sure, he’s crazy. And his ego is possibly even bigger than that, but he tells the truth. I trust him with my life, that man. And you should too. He’s awesome and one damn fine shinobi,” Genma prattled on about himself in third person, looking very sincere and somewhat grave.
A smile lit up his face again a moment later and he rolled his eyes at Hayate’s reply to his claim. “You don’t sound so sure of yourself there. As if it doesn’t work both ways. I know for a fact you know everything there is to know about me. You’re probably the only person who does. My mom doesn’t even know some of the stuff you do, and thank god for that,” Genma laughed loudly at the prospect of his mother knowing his dirty secrets. He winked at Hayate again and leaned in for another playful kiss.
"Well, with such high recommendations, it's a good thing that I am sleeping next to him, hmmm? After all, I wouldn't want to sleep with someone who is only a mediocre shinobi. That's just unacceptable." Hayate was highly amused at their conversation, though it only showed in the brightness of his eyes. Silly moments like these were few and far in between, though they were becoming more commonplace since they had been temporarily relieved of their shinobi duties.
"I should certainly hope that your mother doesn't know some of those things. That would be just gross," Hayate made a face there, sticking out his tongue, which was intercepted by Genma's kiss. "And if anyone else did, you'd both find yourselves on the wrong end of my sword." So he was a bit jealous, so what? What shinobi wasn't a bit possessive?
“Exactly. You’re better than some regular ol’ loser,” Genma nodded very matter-of-factly. Judging from the look in Hayate’s eyes, he was enjoying the playfulness between the two of them. And Genma was as well, even moreso because he had managed to lighten the mood a bit. The two of them tended to be all over the place when it came to the mood between them.
“She definitely doesn’t! I stopped telling my mother everything when I was like five,” Genma grimaced, shaking his head. That was just creepy. There were things parents just never needed to know about their kids, and vice versa. After their very nice kiss had ended, Genma arched a brow at Hayate’s warning and grinned. “Oh really now? Someone’s possessive. I like it,” he chuckled, leaning in for another much more playful and aggressive kiss.
Chuckling softly, Hayate shook his head, expression rueful. "I'm so glad you think so. I'd hate to think that you were merely sticking around for all the wrong reasons." It was so rare that they got to be open and carefree like this, especially since Hayate's return, so to speak, and he was grateful for such a chance. A rare moment of seeing Genma without the shadows of what had happened in the back of his eyes was a moment to be treasured, Hayate thought.
"I'm not really surprised. You never struck me as much of a momma's boy. You seemed more like the type who tried to grow up to fast, trying to prove yourself to others. Am I right?" Nipping a bit more firmly than normal at Genma's lower lip, Hayate pulled back and gave his lover a look of utter nonchalance. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you imagining things again?"
“You know me too well,” Genma grinned, feeling the echoes of Hayate’s teeth on his bottom lip long after their kiss was finished. “I’m an independent guy, what can I say?” he shrugged, and then glanced back at Hayate again. “Well, I was. But apparently I can’t live or function normally without you anymore,” he muttered, but he didn’t look too upset about it. “My mother was always nagging me to tell me more about my day and my friends and all of that. Annoying,” he rolled his eyes, though there was still affection in his voice. He may not have been a momma’s boy, but he still loved his momma.
“Hah! No way. I heard it. Someone’d be jealous and would shish-ka-bob me if I did anything I wasn’t supposed to. Which I never would,” Genma laughed again, kissing Hayate on the lips again and winking at him as he pulled back, reaching up to brush a few more strands of dark hair from his boyfriend’s eyes.
Blinking once at Genma's words, Hayate's lips curved into an unconscious smile, heart tripping at the unbidden confession. "Interesting turn of events, hmmm? Compared to how you had been before. I had wondered if anyone would be able to get under your skin enough to provoke such a reaction in you." Hayate truly laughed this time, one hand covering his mouth to muffle the sound. "And you would get indignant about it, I'm sure, not wanting to be treated like a little kid anymore."
Frowning slightly, Hayate fought back a blush at Genma's very true words. "And if I would? It would be warranted, but you wouldn't be alone in the 'shish-ka-bob'-ing, believe me. It takes two to do that sort of a tango," he said reluctantly, hating to admit to such feelings as jealousy, when he knew that it wasn't warranted. To take his mind from it, Hayate lost himself in Genma's kiss, returning it with much more enthusiasm than was demanded from such a playful caress.
Rolling his eyes and complacently letting Hayate laugh at him, Genma merely watched the other man, enjoying the sound of his laugh, even though it was always more quiet and subdued than his own. No matter what, it was always an enjoyable sound to hear, music to Genma’s ears. “Yes, yes, I was a bossy, independent little brat as a kid,” he muttered, looking amused yet feigning exasperation. It was the truth, after all. He wasn’t afraid to admit it. After all, he was thirty years old now.
“I don’t mind you being jealous. It’s hot. But you know that you’ll never have a reason to be,” he murmured, finding himself surprised when Hayate kissed him back with a passion he hadn’t expected. He returned it with equal vigor, of course, until the two of them were nearly out of breath. “What’s gotten into you?” he teased when they broke apart again, eyebrows lifting with curious amusement.
Hayate knew the truth of Genma's words, and he trusted him implicitly, both with his life and with his heart. Even so, he could not help the soft, doubting whispers that would cloud his mind from time to time. It wasn't often, perhaps when Hayate noticed a pretty woman admiring Genma, one that he would have been interested in were it an earlier time, or when he saw a child playing, and wondered what a child of Genma's would be like. He really would make an excellent father, despite how he acted sometimes.
Gasping for breath, Hayate looked away at Genma's questions, cheeks flushed, unable to answer directly. "Nothing at all. I just wanted to kiss you, that's all. Is there something wrong with that?"
“Never. You know you can kiss me anytime, all the time, no matter what,” Genma smiled, but the curious expression on his face remained and he tilted his head to the side, studying Hayate carefully. “But that wasn’t an ordinary kiss. Anything on your mind? You might as well just tell me now, rather than avoid the subject. You know I’ll keep nagging you until you give in and tell me,” he smirked slightly, leaning in and nipping at Hayate’s bottom lip playfully.
His boyfriend was very apt to keeping things to himself, if at all possible, and it occasionally took some coaxing to get it out of him. Genma didn’t mind, however. Even so, Hayate always ended up telling him everything that was important. The mutual trust between the two of them was irreplaceable.
He should have known Genma would know better and call him out on it. This was one secret that he really did want to keep, though he doubted he could forever. Genma was the one person he shared everything with, no matter what, no matter the consequences. But, with Genma's reaction so unknown, the consequences could be far too steep, and Hayate wouldn't want to pay. It wasn't jealousy and it wasn't possessiveness, though perhaps a bit of those were tied in to it all. It was more like fear, a nervous coiling in the pit of his stomach when something made him think too hard and too much. The thought of losing Genma, it made him feel physically ill, but if it came down to it, he really wasn't sure if he would fight or go quietly into the night.
"So I felt like giving you an extraordinary kiss. That's all," he hoped his tone would end the conversation, though he really knew better. Genma was nothing if not determined, and even he could hear how unconvincing he sounded.
Sighing quietly, Genma smile faded a little and he gave Hayate an unimpressed look. “Hayate,” he murmured, leaning down again and nuzzling his boyfriend’s cheek with the tip of his nose before moving his lips to his ear. “Please tell me what’s bothering you?” he asked softly, kissing just behind Hayate’s ear before pulling back again and looking at him once more, blue eyes filled with curiosity mixed with an edge of concern.
Usually Hayate gave in by this point, so the fact that he was still holding back was out of the ordinary. Genma reached up with one hand, pushing more of Hayate’s dark hair off of his forehead, tracing the lines of the side of his face and down his jaw before lowering it once more, still waiting for a reply.
It was hard to hide such things from Genma, especially when he looked at Hayate like that, like he could see right through him to every little thing that he was hiding. "I just--I suppose I was...thinking. About things. You." Now that he had decided to talk about it, the words did not want to come. Not that they even came all that coherently when he was just thinking to himself, nothing more. Perhaps that was a sign of the ridiculousness of his fears, but he couldn't let go of them all the same. They still lurked on the edges of his consciousness, waiting to jump out at him when he least expected it.
"Do you ever...regret anything? Sometimes I--well, I wonder. If you ever wish things were...different." The words still weren't coming out right, and Hayate doubted that he was making any sense, but he couldn't just blurt it all out in one fell swoop. It was too much, too difficult, and he was far too afraid of what the answer might be. Normally he had no fears. He had been ready to give up his life for his village at any time. But this? This froze the very air in his lungs.
Genma blinked. And blinked again. That had definitely not been what he was expecting to hear. Did he regret anything? “You must be crazy,” he shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment. “What the hell would I have to regret?” he asked quietly, sitting up a bit and propping his chin on his hand and elbow.
“Actually. You’re right. I do wish things were different,” Genma arched one eyebrow, looking back over at Hayate again solemnly. It was rare for the shinobi to look so serious in front of his boyfriend, but it did happen. “I wish that I had asked you out sooner so we could have had more time. I wish you hadn’t been killed, and that I could’ve told the entire village how much I love you, and introduced you to my family as my boyfriend before we moved in together. I wish I didn’t have to come to this city just to see you again,” Genma sighed. The serious expression on his face changed slightly to be replaced with one filled with affection. “But you can’t change the past. Getting you back, in whatever way or form, is the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Ever. I don’t regret a single thing about that, Hayate,” Genma finished firmly, conviction clear in his voice and on his face.
Those words stopped Hayate's affected breathing cold, his heartbeat that had started anew when he entered the city seeming painfully loud. It wasn't until Genma continued speaking that Hayate allowed his muscles to unclench. It wasn't exactly what he had meant when he posted those questions, but it was reassuring all the same. "Genma..." But he still had to be sure, nonetheless.
"Are you sure that's all? Nothing else? Nothing you feel like you miss?" Hayate had to steel his reserve to go forward, but he had already come this far, and he didn't believe in doing things in half-measures. If he did, he never would have come as far as he had in the short amount of time his life had allotted him. "You don't sometimes miss...being with a woman? Having the opportunity to marry if you wanted...to have children?" There, he said it, now there was nothing for him to do but see how interesting his knees could be. Apparently, from the way he was staring, they were quite fascinating.
Ah. So that’s what he had meant. No wonder Hayate had gotten so quiet and thoughtful. No doubt he was overanalyzing everything and thinking too much. “Why does that matter? It isn’t going to happen. I’ve made my choice and I’m happy with it, Hayate. No regrets,” he shook his head. Sure, he’d thought about having children. But with some other woman? The picture just didn’t fit. Hayate was always in the picture now, from then until forever if Genma could help it.
“And kids? We could adopt,” he grinned again finally, with a gentle playfulness in his voice. “Otherwise, no. I don’t miss being with a woman. If I did, I wouldn’t have asked you out. I was tired of women and dating and all of that endless crap. I wanted you, and stability and someone responsible and kind and intelligent. I wanted my best friend. This is the way things were meant to be, in my opinion. Okay?” he cocked his head to the side again, reaching up to run the pad of his thumb under Hayate’s eye in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. He didn’t want his boyfriend thinking crazy things like Genma rather being with a woman than him. There was no one better suited for him in the entire world than Hayate.
Closing his eyes at the soft gesture, Hayate blinked them open again, looking solemnly back at Genma. His words were pretty and he could feel their sincerity, but some of them hit with a sharp pang. Adopt. The word sounded foreign to his ears. Back in Konoha, there was never a shortage of children who needed adopting, but the thought had never crossed his mind. Adopting a child. With Genma. He had given up on the idea of having children when he figured out he was more attracted to his male teammates than his female ones. But there was Genma, bringing it up, and he had another regret to chalk up on his own personal tally. Another reason why he regretted dying. He couldn't give Genma this gift anymore. This city was not a place to raise a child, and Hayate had no where else that he could go. He was stuck here for eternity, and if Genma ever made the choice to do so, he could go home once more. And while he was now secure in the idea that Genma was not going anywhere, he could if he truly wanted to.
"I'm sorry for doubting. I guess I just needed to hear the words to truly be sure of it. It's just...you had always been with women, as far as I knew. I thought you might come to miss it." Running his fingers through his hair, unintentionally mussing it, Hayate gave a frustrated sigh. "I feel ridiculous. Making you deal with my stupidity like that. I'm being no better than a girl. I apologize."
“Don’t. I pushed you to tell me. I want you to tell me stuff like that. I don’t want you to keep it bottled in all the time,” Genma sighed, scooting closer to Hayate again and curling up beside him, reaching down to pull the blankets up and over them. He was still naked, after all, from his stunning performance before. “We’re… in a weird situation, obviously. Doubts are going to fly. I think it’s expected,” Genma continued, reaching up to smooth down Hayate’s hair. “Don’t worry about it. I just want you to be happy. Us to be happy,” he smiled honestly.
Genma was probably in denial about some of their situation, when it came right down to it. He never wanted to think about the idea that one day he might have the opportunity to go home. It was easy right now, because he was stuck there with no foreseeable way out. But when the time came, then what? He didn’t want to leave Hayate, ever. So complicated and exactly why Genma hated to overanalyze and dwell on those issues. This was his second chance with Hayate. He wanted it to be a happy one.
He would try harder to tell Genma things now, despite how hard it may seem, if only to avoid situations like this in the future. Hayate had had such doubts prior to his death, but being here in this city, and everything that came part and parcel with their presence in such a place only intensified things and added new dimensions to his thoughts. But now...now he knew he could talk to Genma, knew that he should not question his trust in his lover, that it held steady through so many tests.
"I'll try, really. I should have trusted in you in the first place instead of doubting. And while it goes without saying, if there's anything - anything at all - that is...bothering you or anything, you can talk to me too." Curling up within Genma's embrace, Hayate tangled their legs together, arms slinging about the other man's waist to keep them even closer, reluctant to let go. He knew it wasn't possible, but he wished they could stay like that always, hiding together under the blankets from the realities of the world.
Rating; PG-13 to R?
Characters; Hayate [
hayate] and Genma [senbon_shinobi]Summary; Genma dances around naked and serenades Hayate, things get fluffy, things get angsty, things get fluffy again, and the end. It's really insanely long. These two never shut up.
Log;
In general, Genma was pretty damn shameless. He didn't particularly care what others thought about him, and likewise, belting out a song in the shower with only the chance of Hayate hearing him was no big deal. Everyone sang in the shower anyway, right? Not just… women. Right?? Whatever, he was going to do it anyways.
He was still singing when he turned the water off, stepping out onto the mat and grooving to the beat and rhythm that was straight from his memory. His voice wasn't professional level or anything like that, but it was pleasant to listen to and for the most part, he managed to stay on key. Surprisingly. "Cooooome on, sugah, let me know..." he sang, toweling off his blonde hair before moving to dry himself off.
A wicked, silly idea popped into Genma's head just then, and with a sly grin, he slung his towel over his shoulder and sauntered back into the bedroom where Hayate was still lying in bed. Winking salaciously at his boyfriend, Genma started dancing, sexy and ridiculous at the same time. "If you want my body, aaaaand you think I'm sexy, come on sugah, let me knoooow," he sang, louder now, dancing slowly towards Hayate, both ignoring and completely aware of the fact that he was stark naked. That was the part of the fun, after all.
Hearing the water turn off in the bathroom, Hayate burrowed further into the warm spot on the bed Genma had vacated, nose buried in a pillow that smelled like his lover's shampoo, and sighed softly. He was getting very used to the luxury of lingering in bed, with nothing better to do. Some would say that allowing that to happen was bad, but he technically was no longer a shinobi, as he had already given his life to his village. Plus, in this city, there wasn't really anything he could do.
The door to the bedroom opened then, drawing Hayate from his reverie. Turning his head to greet his boyfriend, Hayate merely gaped and turned an interesting shade of pink. There was Genma, doing a none-too-shabby rendition of "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" and dancing around the room in a way that drew attention to the fact that he was very, unignorably naked. "Genma, wh-what are you doing? Put some clothes on before you get sick!"
Genma shook his head, still dancing, still grinning, still singing. "If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on honey, tell me sooooooo," he crooned, yanking the towel off of his shoulder and swinging it around artfully. Genma was really starting to get into this, completely enjoying the pink flush on Hayate's cheeks. He definitely planned on pouncing on the other man once his performance was finished, but for now, he kept on singing.
Besides, he wouldn't really catch a cold. He hoped not, anyway. And even if he did, he could always just make sad puppy faces and ask Hayate to take care of him. It would mean being pampered and getting extra snuggles. Maybe. Or on the other hand, Hayate might tell him that it served him right. Oh well. He was having too much fun dancing outrageously and singing now, almost at the top of his lungs, winking and making suggestive faces at his lover.
Groaning loudly at the sight of his lover - and denying wildly, if silently, that this spectacle was at all intriguing - Hayate buried his face in Genma's pillow once more, peeking up every so often. Not to check out Genma, though, of course not. He was just making sure that his lover was still making a fool out of himself. Yes. That was it. Of course.
"I know what you're thinking," he said, words muffled against the pillow. "Don't think I'm going to baby you if you get sick. You're a grown man and can take care of yourself." His words, of course, carried no heat, since he knew he'd cave once Genma turned the puppy dog eyes on him. It happened every time, despite the fact that he always geared himself up to say no, eventually he'd fold like a house of cards. He still had to keep up appearances, though, and so he gave Genma a stern look that was ruined by his blush and disheveled state.
Spinning around one last time, Genma balled up his towel and chucked it back into the bathroom before flinging himself (carefully to avoid injury to certain parts) onto the bed next to Hayate, burrowing beneath the covers. He was still singing, softer now, wrapping his bare limbs around his still sleep-mussed boyfriend. "If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy…"he grinned between words, leaning down to nip at Hayate's ear. "Come on, sugah, let me knoooow," he finished, before finally dissolving into laughter, dropping his head next to Hayate's on the pillow, slightly out of breath.
"Oh god. That was entertaining. You were blushing," he turned his head, grinning at the other man salaciously as he pulled him closer. "And you would too take care of me if I got sick. You're no match for my sad puppy eyes," Genma laughed again, reaching up to brush a few dark strands of hair away from Hayate's eyes so he could better see his face.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hayate mumbled once more, refusing to look at Genma, who was altogether too close for him to lie so blatantly while looking at him. "And your puppy dog eyes have nothing to do with it. You just whine worse than a child when you're sick, and the sooner I give into your requests, the sooner you stop complaining." The last few words came out breathy, with no strength in them, eyes drifting closed as Genma's fingers traced over his features, brushing stray hairs from his face. It was all Hayate could do to say something that would bring the focus away from himself.
"Winded, are you? Maybe you should start working out again if a little dancing is making you tired. What would you do if Godaime-sama called upon you to do a mission?" It was a highly unlikely circumstance, but it could happen. That, and knowing Genma, he'd take it as a personal attack on his manhood and strength. He did always get so defensive about things like that.
Genma thought he had won for a few moments as he watched Hayate's eyes slowly shut, his fingertips tracing absently across his face, but whoa now, a personal remark about his physical condition couldn't be ignored, now could it. "Hey. That was rigorous dancing, plus I just threw myself on the bed, plus I'm naked and you're next to me and we're in bed. Anyone in my position would be winded," he scowled lightly, but it wasn't very genuine and was likewise, not very effective. "I'd be perfectly capable of carrying out a mission."
"And after that performance, you're supposed to say "Yes, Genma, I love your body and I find you sexy. Let's have sex now," Genma cracked a smile again at his own arrogant remark, teasingly leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to Hayate's lips.
Hayate nodded to Genma's words, face affecting a look of concerned sympathy. "Uh huh, of course," he said, his tone placating. He knew he'd get a reaction out of Genma that way, it was guaranteed that the older man would not accept such a reaction.
Though Genma's next words left Hayate hard-pressed not to laugh at their utter absurdity, despite knowing that such a reaction is exactly what Genma would have wanted from him, while knowing he wouldn't get it. "Yes, Genma, I love your body and I find you sexy. Let's have sex now," Hayate deadpanned, waiting to see Genma's reaction. It was bound to be good, whatever it was.
Eyes narrowing at Hayate’s bland reply, Genma sat up a little bit, looking down at the other shinobi suspiciously. That had been too easy. He was ready to argue, but he didn’t say anything yet, until Hayate repeated back exactly what Genma had joked about. Blinking, he merely stared at him, one eyebrow arched, not really knowing how to reply back to that.
“Oi. I’m wounded,” he finally shook his head, giving Hayate a disgruntled look. “You say it like you don’t mean it. It’s because of that damn gray hair, isn’t it,” he muttered, reaching up to pull at his hair and peer at it. “I’m still young,” he protested, dropping his hand from his hair and leaning over Hayate. “Do you need a reminder?” he added, grin returning to his face as he looked down at the other.
Groaning loudly as Genma started in again on his Grey Hair - which definitely deserved capital letters, as it was an Event in Genma's mind - Hayate slumped back against the bed. "You're not still on about that grey hair, are you? It doesn't mean that you're old or anything. Besides, haven't you ever heard that grey hair can be sexy? Distinguished and all that."
Hayate frankly didn't care if Genma had one or one hundred thousand grey hairs, it was never something that he thought about one way or another. Things like that just didn't matter to him, they were so far off the importance radar that they were beyond conception. There were so many other things to worry about out there than something as insignificant as a grey hair. "You don't need to prove something that I already know, silly. But if you still feel so threatened by one little grey hair..."
“Easy for you to brush it off! You don’t have any gray hairs,” Genma muttered pitifully. He knew he was making a big deal about something rather stupid, but it bothered him. He didn’t want to look old. He liked his hair the way it was, and he wanted to be sexy in a young way, not a refined and distinguished way. He didn’t think those two adjectives would ever apply to him.
“I know,” he sighed, plopping back down next to Hayate and propping his head up on his hand and elbow, looking rather petulant. “I’m just going to be old and ugly and you’re going to be cute still,” he made a face. Okay, so he was a little insecure. Not that he thought Hayate would ever leave him for someone else. He was well aware that his feelings towards the other man were reciprocated and then some and the two of them had gone through so much together already. But still. He didn’t want to ever stop being attractive to his boyfriend.
"..." Genma always had such an effect on him, even when they barely knew one another. Hearing that sincere tone in the other man's voice, Hayate merely opened his arms, hands reaching out to tug Genma closer. "You'll never be old or ugly, and I have never been called 'cute' by anyone other than you...and my mother, when I was a very small child. Nothing will change between us, no matter what. Okay?"
Not happy with the direction that the conversation had taken, Hayate flailed a bit for a way to bring Genma out of any funk he might have fallen into. "Ne, senpai, what was it that you were singing in that song again? Refresh my memory, please," he said, nuzzling against the nape of Genma's neck. "I think I forgot just what it was you were saying there."
Nope. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought about him. Genma only cared about Hayate’s opinion, and that had just been made clear yet again. Not that it was ever really doubted, but Genma apparently needed some reassurance every now and again, especially at the onset of gray hair-dom.
Sighing softly in contentment, Genma allowed himself to be pulled closer, likewise tightening his grip around Hayate. “Okay. Sorry, I’m being stupid over one ridiculous little thing. Lucky for me, I have a really smart, level headed and much more mature boyfriend who keeps me in line,” he smiled sincerely, tilting his head to press a sweet kiss to Hayate’s lips, a sort of thank you. “As for that song of mine… I think you remember,” he returned, smile growing into a soft grin again.
It was always funny to Hayate how insecure his usually confident boyfriend could get from time to time. Whereas he, who was much more prone to insecurity, rarely ever had doubting moments like that.
"Well, you know," Hayate said, lips curving with amusement, "someone has to be the adult in this relationship." He chuckled, lips brushing against Genma's once more. "Mmmm, maybe, but I think you should still remind me. My memory can be so fuzzy at times."
“God, yes,” Genma laughed quietly, agreeing wholeheartedly with that statement. He was so immature sometimes, and he was entirely aware of it. Still, he had his serious moments as well, especially when it came to business, or his jounin duties. Genma was lazy but he was no slacker.
Smiling warmly with a sly edge to it, he lowered his mouth to Hayate’s ear, and began to sing again, very softly. “If you want me body, and you find me sexy, come on sugah, let me knoooow,” he crooned, finishing the last line with a quick lick to Hayate’s earlobe, moving his nose down to nuzzle at his neck playfully, yet with obvious affection.
To the few that knew them well enough to know that something had changed rather drastically between himself and Genma, Hayate knew that the change had been a surprise. It hadn't been just the gap in their ages that was surprising, but their very personalities. Hayate especially remembered the shock, and no small amoutn of hurt, that had been in Yuugao's eyes when he had told his childhood friend of his relationship, when it was still in the early stages. It had been a topic that the two largely avoided after that, if only so Hayate could keep that look off of her face again. He knew that she held tender feelings towards him, but they had never been reciprocated, nor would they, not after Genma started pursuing him.
Teasing touches that drew shivers down his spine drew Hayate from his thoughts, sighing softly in contentment. "If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on honey, tell me so," he sung in reply, voice husky, amusement evident in each word.
As Hayate sang those words back to him, Genma was once again struck with just how lucky he was to have him, not just the first time, but this go around as well. Even more so. How many people got second chances with their dead lovers? He was damn lucky and more grateful than words could express. Hayate had never seen it that way, but Genma had thought he was rather lucky to have the other man in his life when they were back home in Konoha, prior to his death.
Yuugao had been beautiful and could have easily ended up with Hayate instead, but what Genma wanted, he pursued fiercely, and Hayate had been what he wanted most of all, who he wanted most of all. And for some reason unbeknownst to him, Hayate happened to feel something back.
Yes, he was definitely lucky, and his gratitude showed clearly on his face as he leaned down for yet another kiss. “I really need you,” Genma repeated the line quietly, a playful look in his eyes but his words sincere nonetheless.
Breath catching momentarily at Genma's words, Hayate's lips curved upwards ever so slightly, the closest to a goofy grin he ever got. He heard words like that more times than he could remember from his lover, but they still gave him pause each time. He held no delusions in him being the only one drawn to the older man, far from it. It was why he never expected anything from the attraction he felt for Genma, and why he had been so surprised himself when Genma's casual conversation went past that of two acquaintances, indicating something far more.
Returning the kiss with one of his own, Hayate's lips moved lightly over Genma's, teasing and tasting alike. He finally broke it a moment later, expression shifting into something more somber, something more akin to his usual look. "I really love you," he said, his words hushed, barely more than a whisper.
It was always rewarding to be treated with a smile like that from Hayate. It wasn’t like Genma didn’t see him smile often. He enjoyed making his boyfriend laugh as much as he could. But Hayate never smiled like Genma did, big and cheesy and cocky. It was always more subdued but much more beautiful, something Genma would only ever admit over pain of death. Or if Hayate bribed him, or asked really nicely.
Hands worn from years of training reached up to gently run through strands of dark hair, and Genma smiled softly at Hayate once their kiss had ended, noting the sincere expression on his face. “And I’m damn lucky you do,” he murmured in return. “I love you too, if I haven’t made that obvious yet,” he added, smile widening a fraction. “Still. Nothing I do or say can really express just how much I really do.”
Heat rose to Hayate's cheeks, making them a pale pink, though he ignored it for the most part, content to focus on this stolen moment, one of many he never thought they'd get to share. Genma did make that fact obvious, told him every day, if not in word, then in deed. Even so, Hayate never tired of hearing it, or seeing it in the little things that Genma did - breakfast in bed, remembering an extra blanket when sitting on the couch together, a scalp massage when he saw that slight bit of tension around Hayate's eyes that signaled a headache, and so many other instances.
"Everything you do or say shows me." The words felt awkward on his tongue, and his cheeks pinkened some more. Except for occasional moments of loquacity, he was normally rather soft-spoken, keeping a tight rein on his words, especially ones so personal as this. That's where Genma's influence came in, though, making Hayate much less reserved than he had been prior to their relationship. The change was for the better, though at times he still faltered over such open honesty.
“Does it?” Genma asked softly, raising his eyebrows hopefully. Being a successful and loyal shinobi was one of his life’s goals. The other was most certainly to make Hayate happy, whether it was by fixing him dinner or doing a sexy naked dance. Hayate was his best friend, his lover, his audience, and occasionally, his conscience. He kept Genma grounded and in touch with reality, calming his insecurities and keeping his sometimes outrageous ego at bay. He really did need him. Those months without him had been painfully unbearable and so very empty.
Perhaps he had been overcompensating for the lost time since they had arrived in the city, but Genma couldn’t care too much about that. He wasn’t wasting any more time, nor was he taking anything for granted. Second chances should never be wasted, after all. “I’m glad. We do have that thing where we can tell what the other’s thinking without even saying it,” he smiled again, a little cheekily this time.
"It does," he replied, a soft smile on his face to match the tone of his voice. It was something that Genma showed him every day, something he tried to reciprocate, but largely felt like he didn't quite get it across. This he tried to blame on his lack of relationship experience. Being a shinobi didn't really invite lasting relationships, and before Genma, he hadn't really thought about anyone in such a manner, male or female, not past the fact that it was almost expected of him to get together with Yuugao and have little ninja babies, something he did not want in the slightest.
Babies. That brought up a subject he had contemplated on more than one occasion. Despite the fact that Genma could act much like a child himself, Hayate often wondered if the other man had ever wanted children. He could tell that if given the opportunity, Genma would be an excellent father. It wasn't something that he liked to think about often, because he didn't like second-guessing things he knew for truth, one such truth being that Genma loved him and didn't want to be with anyone other than him. Which is why that mind-reading thing was so handy, and yet frustrating at the same time. "Mmm, that we do, that we do."
Genma could immediately tell when Hayate lapsed into deep thought. He did that from time to time, and usually, Genma noticed when the other became quiet, his forehead creasing ever so slightly. “You show me every day too, you know,” he pointed out. “Just putting up with me is proof enough that you love me,” he smiled again, winking teasingly at his boyfriend before slipping his arm around his shoulders and tugging him closer, fingers tapping absently on his arm.
“What’re you thinking about, hmm?” he asked after a few more seconds, curious blue eyes roving over Hayate’s facial features, searching for some clue. So much for the mind reading business, he chuckled to himself inwardly. Okay, so it didn’t work all the time. It mostly worked when there was something that needed to be said between them, but was understood even without being spoken. This was a different case, and Genma was curious as to where Hayate’s train of thought had led him.
"Is it?" It took a moment for it to register with Hayate that he had actually said those words out loud, clapping a hand over his mouth in his surprise. A nervous laugh was subsequently muffled, the look on his face rather sheepish. "Sorry about that," he mumbled, drawing his hand away from his mouth again.
Looking away at Genma's inquiry, Hayate merely shrugged, still embarrassed by his previous unintended blunder, not wanting to say something stupid once more. "Mmm, nothing really. Just you, that's all." It was true enough, it just wasn't the whole truth. But really, Hayate couldn't be faulted for trying, even though he already knew he'd be called on his evasiveness. It'd at least prolong things momentarily, before he completely embarrassed himself.
Genma blinked for a moment in surprise, before it faded and his mouth quirked up into another smile. “Yeah, it is, and you know it,” he shook his head, looking bemusedly at his boyfriend, who was now looking sheepish. But now he was avoiding eye contact, and Genma knew he was definitely not answering on purpose.
“Oi. Just me, and that’s it, huh?” he asked, arching one eyebrow inquiringly, fingers tracing absent patterns on Hayate’s shoulder, while his eyes never left the other’s face. “Keeping secrets?” his smile widened teasingly, leaning in for a quick kiss to the cheek.
"Mmm," Hayate hummed softly, eyes drifting closed as he memorized the idle movements of Genma's fingertips against his skin. "Maybe. Shinobi are good at that, you know." That statement in and of itself was both truth and a lie. While shinobi were good at keeping secrets - and Hayate would never give up any of Konoha's secrets, upon pain of death - it was remarkably difficult for him to keep any secrets from Genma.
In another hope to waylay the inevitable, Hayate reached out, running his fingers through Genma's hair, lips quirking into a grin as he spotted another grey hair, though he didn't mention it out loud. It wouldn't do to have his boyfriend have another fit of vanity. It'd only cause more of the dreaded things.
Narrowing his eyes in faux suspicion, Genma merely looked at Hayate for a few moments before sighing exaggeratedly and plopping his head back onto the pillow, once the other was finished running his fingers through it. He wondered if he should ask about that sudden grin on Hayate’s face a moment before, but he decided to pass on that as well.
“Fine, fine, keep your secrets, Gekkou Hayate. I’ll find out eventually. I always do,” he smirked as evilly as he could, looking very wicked and mischievous. “I know your weaknesses, after all. And I know where you sleep,” he grinned, laughing after a moment.
Knowing that expression far too well, Hayate allowed a look of mock distress to come over his features. "Oh no, whatever will I do," he deadpanned. "It seems that not even sleep is sacred anymore, if my very slumber is being threatened.
"And as far as weaknesses go, I have no idea what you're talking about." That of course, was a blatant lie. Genma knew each and every weakness that Hayate had, from his affinity for kittens, to his many ticklish spots, all the way to the fact that certain smells affected him so greatly to the point of nausea, along with everything in between. Though, he didn't lack his own knowledge of Genma's weaknesses. In fact, he hoarded each bit of information like the precious thing it was. It was rare that you got to truly know another person inside and out like they knew one another. It was something to be cherished.
“You’re damn right. You’re most vulnerable when you’re sleeping. And I know that guy who sleeps next to you,” Genma continued smirking, nodding arrogantly. “He can get me in,” he added, looking smug for another moment or two before laughing again.
“Don’t give me that. You know I know every single thing about you,” Genma grinned, full on and affectionately now. He knew dumb girlie things, like Hayate’s favorite color, what side of the bed he preferred, his birthday and his favorite meal. He knew how he looked when he was bothered by something and really didn’t want to show it, or when he was happy about something, or worried. Every facial expression. Every gesture. Genma knew them all.
"Oh. Him," he said, trying hard to keep the laughter from his voice. "You shouldn't listen to a word that he says. He's crazy, you know. Has an ego bigger than the Hokage's monument as well."
He did know that Genma knew everything about him. It had been strange at first, as Genma started seeking out these little details that most people wouldn't bother with getting to know, it had weirded Hayate out on more than one occasion when Genma would show up carrying a cup of coffee just how Hayate liked it, or would have one of Hayate's favorite sweets in his pocket. It had spurred him into trying to learn everything he could about Genma, until it was a competition of sorts. "If you say so..."
“Sure, he’s crazy. And his ego is possibly even bigger than that, but he tells the truth. I trust him with my life, that man. And you should too. He’s awesome and one damn fine shinobi,” Genma prattled on about himself in third person, looking very sincere and somewhat grave.
A smile lit up his face again a moment later and he rolled his eyes at Hayate’s reply to his claim. “You don’t sound so sure of yourself there. As if it doesn’t work both ways. I know for a fact you know everything there is to know about me. You’re probably the only person who does. My mom doesn’t even know some of the stuff you do, and thank god for that,” Genma laughed loudly at the prospect of his mother knowing his dirty secrets. He winked at Hayate again and leaned in for another playful kiss.
"Well, with such high recommendations, it's a good thing that I am sleeping next to him, hmmm? After all, I wouldn't want to sleep with someone who is only a mediocre shinobi. That's just unacceptable." Hayate was highly amused at their conversation, though it only showed in the brightness of his eyes. Silly moments like these were few and far in between, though they were becoming more commonplace since they had been temporarily relieved of their shinobi duties.
"I should certainly hope that your mother doesn't know some of those things. That would be just gross," Hayate made a face there, sticking out his tongue, which was intercepted by Genma's kiss. "And if anyone else did, you'd both find yourselves on the wrong end of my sword." So he was a bit jealous, so what? What shinobi wasn't a bit possessive?
“Exactly. You’re better than some regular ol’ loser,” Genma nodded very matter-of-factly. Judging from the look in Hayate’s eyes, he was enjoying the playfulness between the two of them. And Genma was as well, even moreso because he had managed to lighten the mood a bit. The two of them tended to be all over the place when it came to the mood between them.
“She definitely doesn’t! I stopped telling my mother everything when I was like five,” Genma grimaced, shaking his head. That was just creepy. There were things parents just never needed to know about their kids, and vice versa. After their very nice kiss had ended, Genma arched a brow at Hayate’s warning and grinned. “Oh really now? Someone’s possessive. I like it,” he chuckled, leaning in for another much more playful and aggressive kiss.
Chuckling softly, Hayate shook his head, expression rueful. "I'm so glad you think so. I'd hate to think that you were merely sticking around for all the wrong reasons." It was so rare that they got to be open and carefree like this, especially since Hayate's return, so to speak, and he was grateful for such a chance. A rare moment of seeing Genma without the shadows of what had happened in the back of his eyes was a moment to be treasured, Hayate thought.
"I'm not really surprised. You never struck me as much of a momma's boy. You seemed more like the type who tried to grow up to fast, trying to prove yourself to others. Am I right?" Nipping a bit more firmly than normal at Genma's lower lip, Hayate pulled back and gave his lover a look of utter nonchalance. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you imagining things again?"
“You know me too well,” Genma grinned, feeling the echoes of Hayate’s teeth on his bottom lip long after their kiss was finished. “I’m an independent guy, what can I say?” he shrugged, and then glanced back at Hayate again. “Well, I was. But apparently I can’t live or function normally without you anymore,” he muttered, but he didn’t look too upset about it. “My mother was always nagging me to tell me more about my day and my friends and all of that. Annoying,” he rolled his eyes, though there was still affection in his voice. He may not have been a momma’s boy, but he still loved his momma.
“Hah! No way. I heard it. Someone’d be jealous and would shish-ka-bob me if I did anything I wasn’t supposed to. Which I never would,” Genma laughed again, kissing Hayate on the lips again and winking at him as he pulled back, reaching up to brush a few more strands of dark hair from his boyfriend’s eyes.
Blinking once at Genma's words, Hayate's lips curved into an unconscious smile, heart tripping at the unbidden confession. "Interesting turn of events, hmmm? Compared to how you had been before. I had wondered if anyone would be able to get under your skin enough to provoke such a reaction in you." Hayate truly laughed this time, one hand covering his mouth to muffle the sound. "And you would get indignant about it, I'm sure, not wanting to be treated like a little kid anymore."
Frowning slightly, Hayate fought back a blush at Genma's very true words. "And if I would? It would be warranted, but you wouldn't be alone in the 'shish-ka-bob'-ing, believe me. It takes two to do that sort of a tango," he said reluctantly, hating to admit to such feelings as jealousy, when he knew that it wasn't warranted. To take his mind from it, Hayate lost himself in Genma's kiss, returning it with much more enthusiasm than was demanded from such a playful caress.
Rolling his eyes and complacently letting Hayate laugh at him, Genma merely watched the other man, enjoying the sound of his laugh, even though it was always more quiet and subdued than his own. No matter what, it was always an enjoyable sound to hear, music to Genma’s ears. “Yes, yes, I was a bossy, independent little brat as a kid,” he muttered, looking amused yet feigning exasperation. It was the truth, after all. He wasn’t afraid to admit it. After all, he was thirty years old now.
“I don’t mind you being jealous. It’s hot. But you know that you’ll never have a reason to be,” he murmured, finding himself surprised when Hayate kissed him back with a passion he hadn’t expected. He returned it with equal vigor, of course, until the two of them were nearly out of breath. “What’s gotten into you?” he teased when they broke apart again, eyebrows lifting with curious amusement.
Hayate knew the truth of Genma's words, and he trusted him implicitly, both with his life and with his heart. Even so, he could not help the soft, doubting whispers that would cloud his mind from time to time. It wasn't often, perhaps when Hayate noticed a pretty woman admiring Genma, one that he would have been interested in were it an earlier time, or when he saw a child playing, and wondered what a child of Genma's would be like. He really would make an excellent father, despite how he acted sometimes.
Gasping for breath, Hayate looked away at Genma's questions, cheeks flushed, unable to answer directly. "Nothing at all. I just wanted to kiss you, that's all. Is there something wrong with that?"
“Never. You know you can kiss me anytime, all the time, no matter what,” Genma smiled, but the curious expression on his face remained and he tilted his head to the side, studying Hayate carefully. “But that wasn’t an ordinary kiss. Anything on your mind? You might as well just tell me now, rather than avoid the subject. You know I’ll keep nagging you until you give in and tell me,” he smirked slightly, leaning in and nipping at Hayate’s bottom lip playfully.
His boyfriend was very apt to keeping things to himself, if at all possible, and it occasionally took some coaxing to get it out of him. Genma didn’t mind, however. Even so, Hayate always ended up telling him everything that was important. The mutual trust between the two of them was irreplaceable.
He should have known Genma would know better and call him out on it. This was one secret that he really did want to keep, though he doubted he could forever. Genma was the one person he shared everything with, no matter what, no matter the consequences. But, with Genma's reaction so unknown, the consequences could be far too steep, and Hayate wouldn't want to pay. It wasn't jealousy and it wasn't possessiveness, though perhaps a bit of those were tied in to it all. It was more like fear, a nervous coiling in the pit of his stomach when something made him think too hard and too much. The thought of losing Genma, it made him feel physically ill, but if it came down to it, he really wasn't sure if he would fight or go quietly into the night.
"So I felt like giving you an extraordinary kiss. That's all," he hoped his tone would end the conversation, though he really knew better. Genma was nothing if not determined, and even he could hear how unconvincing he sounded.
Sighing quietly, Genma smile faded a little and he gave Hayate an unimpressed look. “Hayate,” he murmured, leaning down again and nuzzling his boyfriend’s cheek with the tip of his nose before moving his lips to his ear. “Please tell me what’s bothering you?” he asked softly, kissing just behind Hayate’s ear before pulling back again and looking at him once more, blue eyes filled with curiosity mixed with an edge of concern.
Usually Hayate gave in by this point, so the fact that he was still holding back was out of the ordinary. Genma reached up with one hand, pushing more of Hayate’s dark hair off of his forehead, tracing the lines of the side of his face and down his jaw before lowering it once more, still waiting for a reply.
It was hard to hide such things from Genma, especially when he looked at Hayate like that, like he could see right through him to every little thing that he was hiding. "I just--I suppose I was...thinking. About things. You." Now that he had decided to talk about it, the words did not want to come. Not that they even came all that coherently when he was just thinking to himself, nothing more. Perhaps that was a sign of the ridiculousness of his fears, but he couldn't let go of them all the same. They still lurked on the edges of his consciousness, waiting to jump out at him when he least expected it.
"Do you ever...regret anything? Sometimes I--well, I wonder. If you ever wish things were...different." The words still weren't coming out right, and Hayate doubted that he was making any sense, but he couldn't just blurt it all out in one fell swoop. It was too much, too difficult, and he was far too afraid of what the answer might be. Normally he had no fears. He had been ready to give up his life for his village at any time. But this? This froze the very air in his lungs.
Genma blinked. And blinked again. That had definitely not been what he was expecting to hear. Did he regret anything? “You must be crazy,” he shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment. “What the hell would I have to regret?” he asked quietly, sitting up a bit and propping his chin on his hand and elbow.
“Actually. You’re right. I do wish things were different,” Genma arched one eyebrow, looking back over at Hayate again solemnly. It was rare for the shinobi to look so serious in front of his boyfriend, but it did happen. “I wish that I had asked you out sooner so we could have had more time. I wish you hadn’t been killed, and that I could’ve told the entire village how much I love you, and introduced you to my family as my boyfriend before we moved in together. I wish I didn’t have to come to this city just to see you again,” Genma sighed. The serious expression on his face changed slightly to be replaced with one filled with affection. “But you can’t change the past. Getting you back, in whatever way or form, is the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Ever. I don’t regret a single thing about that, Hayate,” Genma finished firmly, conviction clear in his voice and on his face.
Those words stopped Hayate's affected breathing cold, his heartbeat that had started anew when he entered the city seeming painfully loud. It wasn't until Genma continued speaking that Hayate allowed his muscles to unclench. It wasn't exactly what he had meant when he posted those questions, but it was reassuring all the same. "Genma..." But he still had to be sure, nonetheless.
"Are you sure that's all? Nothing else? Nothing you feel like you miss?" Hayate had to steel his reserve to go forward, but he had already come this far, and he didn't believe in doing things in half-measures. If he did, he never would have come as far as he had in the short amount of time his life had allotted him. "You don't sometimes miss...being with a woman? Having the opportunity to marry if you wanted...to have children?" There, he said it, now there was nothing for him to do but see how interesting his knees could be. Apparently, from the way he was staring, they were quite fascinating.
Ah. So that’s what he had meant. No wonder Hayate had gotten so quiet and thoughtful. No doubt he was overanalyzing everything and thinking too much. “Why does that matter? It isn’t going to happen. I’ve made my choice and I’m happy with it, Hayate. No regrets,” he shook his head. Sure, he’d thought about having children. But with some other woman? The picture just didn’t fit. Hayate was always in the picture now, from then until forever if Genma could help it.
“And kids? We could adopt,” he grinned again finally, with a gentle playfulness in his voice. “Otherwise, no. I don’t miss being with a woman. If I did, I wouldn’t have asked you out. I was tired of women and dating and all of that endless crap. I wanted you, and stability and someone responsible and kind and intelligent. I wanted my best friend. This is the way things were meant to be, in my opinion. Okay?” he cocked his head to the side again, reaching up to run the pad of his thumb under Hayate’s eye in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. He didn’t want his boyfriend thinking crazy things like Genma rather being with a woman than him. There was no one better suited for him in the entire world than Hayate.
Closing his eyes at the soft gesture, Hayate blinked them open again, looking solemnly back at Genma. His words were pretty and he could feel their sincerity, but some of them hit with a sharp pang. Adopt. The word sounded foreign to his ears. Back in Konoha, there was never a shortage of children who needed adopting, but the thought had never crossed his mind. Adopting a child. With Genma. He had given up on the idea of having children when he figured out he was more attracted to his male teammates than his female ones. But there was Genma, bringing it up, and he had another regret to chalk up on his own personal tally. Another reason why he regretted dying. He couldn't give Genma this gift anymore. This city was not a place to raise a child, and Hayate had no where else that he could go. He was stuck here for eternity, and if Genma ever made the choice to do so, he could go home once more. And while he was now secure in the idea that Genma was not going anywhere, he could if he truly wanted to.
"I'm sorry for doubting. I guess I just needed to hear the words to truly be sure of it. It's just...you had always been with women, as far as I knew. I thought you might come to miss it." Running his fingers through his hair, unintentionally mussing it, Hayate gave a frustrated sigh. "I feel ridiculous. Making you deal with my stupidity like that. I'm being no better than a girl. I apologize."
“Don’t. I pushed you to tell me. I want you to tell me stuff like that. I don’t want you to keep it bottled in all the time,” Genma sighed, scooting closer to Hayate again and curling up beside him, reaching down to pull the blankets up and over them. He was still naked, after all, from his stunning performance before. “We’re… in a weird situation, obviously. Doubts are going to fly. I think it’s expected,” Genma continued, reaching up to smooth down Hayate’s hair. “Don’t worry about it. I just want you to be happy. Us to be happy,” he smiled honestly.
Genma was probably in denial about some of their situation, when it came right down to it. He never wanted to think about the idea that one day he might have the opportunity to go home. It was easy right now, because he was stuck there with no foreseeable way out. But when the time came, then what? He didn’t want to leave Hayate, ever. So complicated and exactly why Genma hated to overanalyze and dwell on those issues. This was his second chance with Hayate. He wanted it to be a happy one.
He would try harder to tell Genma things now, despite how hard it may seem, if only to avoid situations like this in the future. Hayate had had such doubts prior to his death, but being here in this city, and everything that came part and parcel with their presence in such a place only intensified things and added new dimensions to his thoughts. But now...now he knew he could talk to Genma, knew that he should not question his trust in his lover, that it held steady through so many tests.
"I'll try, really. I should have trusted in you in the first place instead of doubting. And while it goes without saying, if there's anything - anything at all - that is...bothering you or anything, you can talk to me too." Curling up within Genma's embrace, Hayate tangled their legs together, arms slinging about the other man's waist to keep them even closer, reluctant to let go. He knew it wasn't possible, but he wished they could stay like that always, hiding together under the blankets from the realities of the world.