tampered | Log; Complete

Log; Complete

When; April 6th, Ghost Day, morning/early afternoon
Rating; PG?
Characters; Nemu {

hajikemomo}
Summary; Hinamori asks Nemu for something to help her sleep, allowing her to escape her ghost long enough to bring it to her.
Log;

The footsteps that carried Kurotsuchi Nemu to Hinamori's residence were slow. The ghost of her captain, her father, her creator, had left her for a short time, but she knew he was there. He was always there, and she had merely forgotten his precense. She had been reminded of his power, more importantly... of his power over her.

He had not touched her, could not touch her. He was a ghost, a figment of a City curse... and even knowing this she could not defy him. Could not resist more than once, twice, she'd tried thrice, and he's broken her just as easily as the day she was created in his lab.

The creation carried a small parcel in her hands, finally coming to the door and knocking hesitantly. She was... something of a mess. A few bruises on leg exposed but most noticeable a rather dull black eye forming from when he had forced her back and she had ended up scrambling over a piece of furniture to escape him. That had ended badly.

... And he was still waiting for her.

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Two nights of little sleep and the subsequent days of activity had left the fifth division vice captain rather... exhausted. And she looked it, though she'd been passing it off as too much activity, running around with Goku and Yachiru, cooking - she still had some of Kira's cake left, she should probably have made him take it all - and various things to keep her busy and not focused on what she currently dreamt about, things to keep her on her feet. Asking Nemu for a sleep aid hadn't actually been her intention but given what she'd seen she felt it was the most convenient excuse. And one would be wonderful.

Especially if it could magically do away with nightmares, too.

And if it helped her stop feeling like someone was following her? All the better. She really did need to sleep, after all. Especially if she was going to help Autor, something she really wanted to do, more so since Ingram was so insistent he could help... Oh, she didn't know why, but she wasn't going to let him! Granted, her swordplay wasn't the greatest, but Hitsugaya knew what she was doing, and he could help too. And she was starting at the very beginning, so it would be fine. It had to be fine - Hinamori refused to allow anything bad to happen to Autor. Which brought her back to her current problem - she couldn't very well teach him if she was dead on her feet. It was fine for shuffling about around the others, muttered mentions of still recovering and doing too much sufficed to placate them for now. (Though how Hitsugaya slept through her tossing and turning she had yet to figure out.) Hence her request for a sleep aid, but from Nemu because... Well, Nemu had sounded hurt. And while the small shinigami would have normally asked Isane she knew the healer was worried enough about things lately, and Nemu... Hinamori wanted to get her away from the thing haunting - for lack of a better word - her, if even just for moment.

Answering the door only confirmed the girls fears that her fellow vice captain was not having the easiest time of the curse, and she forced a shaky smile whilst trying her hardest not to yawn. "Thank you for coming over," not too formal, not too friendly just in case. Just... Words. Testing how Nemu responded, even as she fought against the urge to drag the taller girl inside and see to the visible wounds as best as she could.

Nemu stood stock still, eyes sorrowful, mouth opening, closing, opening again as she searched for words.

"Hinamori Momo." She finally said, voice even softer than normal, a broken whisper. She would ask how she was, if she was doing well, was there anything she could do for her? But she bit her bottom lip, the phantom's words echoing in the back of her skull.

Useless, he's snarled. Worthless slut of a girl who can't even do the one thing she was created to do!

"I have brought what you requested."

Oh. Her smile faltered, a combined effort of Nemu's response and her mind telling her to close her eyes and lay down and sleep there and then. The list of things to fight against just kept getting bigger, and she refused to go to sleep until she was sure Nemu wasn't feeling so-

Hinamori didn't even know the word, but she forced the smile back on her face, stepping out of the way with the silent insistance for Nemu to come inside. Just for a moment.

"Any particular instructions?" A simple question, still sticking to the neutral tone. The manner in which she spoke to recruits from other divisions, friendly but not overly so. Hinamori-esque, in a sense, her old self slowly being regained the longer she spent with the knowledge that her captain was a lie and her friends still supported her. But a question that could lead to a conversation, one she intended on having, no matter how many more minutes of haunted - or not, depending on the strength of Nemu's sleep aid - sleep were lost in the process. She'd managed so far.

And tea was quick to make, so she shuffled into the kitchen to bring the needed components together before Nemu could complain or mention not being able to stay long. Anything to keep her here for one moment longer, and keep herself awake.

Mentioning she was not to stay long was exactly what Nemu had just planned to say, but... this was a good excuse, was it not? The 5th division vice captain invited me to tea and I could not gracefully excuse myself. That's what she would say.

The creation remained standing, however, only stepping in the slightest bit into the comfort of a home, not an apartment, a home, afraid to intrude too far lest she lose her nerve. Her neely remembered... subservience.

"Take it with food." She spoke in a monotone, devoid of emotion that had creeped it's way into her voice since arriving in the City. "It will take full affect within the hour. No more than one pill every twelve hours."

No doubt it would take less time than that for Hinamori to fall asleep, but she filed the instructions away, prepared to take it once Nemu left. Her fingers shook with effort as she carried a small tray through, two cups of tea on it. She would have brought the pot but... She wasn't sure how long she could get the other vice captain to stay just for tea. And this way some was left for Hitsugaya, or whoever else wanted some. Her smile was just as shaky as before and she motioned for Nemu to sit. Make herself comfortable.

Or so she hoped.

She didn't move to claim her cup after taking her seat, part of her afraid Nemu would find some excuse to leave, part of her not sure she could safely hold it for the time being. Especially since the sofa seemed to be one of those things that wanted to lull her to sleep, and how appealing it looked at that, too. She didn't need anyone worrying about her when she was worried about them though. Trying not to let her voice betray her she offered a soft, "I'm glad you had it with you, and I hope it will help. Ah... But I wasn't sure if you liked honey with your tea?" A slight stalling tactic, the sort she was so used to using around her childhood friend when she was at a loss of things to say but this was different. This was keeping Nemu here.

"I will do fine without." Nemu commented on the issue of honey. In fact, when she thought about it... and she could have cried, realizing what she was thinking about. Tea. Whenever it was offered she was usually asked how she liked it. Was two sugars fine? What about honey? This blend? And she always simply accepted the cup and assured them that what she was given was quite satisfactory, no matter what it was.

She placed the small parcel on the table between them, sitting slowly, back straight, legs together, hands folded in her lap. Correct. Proper. But... what was it. Akon had once told her, in a fit of contemplation, that eyes were the windows to the proverbial soul. And Nemu's eyes... were sorrowful, noting each movement made by her fellow vice.

"... What has been giving you sleeping trouble?" She finally spoke, picking up the cup of tea and holding it carefully, gingerly. "... Perhaps the problem can be corrected." I was merely following up on the problem, Mayuri-sama.

Hinamori glanced away at the question, wondering if she should actually mention it. It wasn't really a problem, she'd suffered from nightmares for as long as she could remember. They were just never... This realistic or disturbing. And while she had often relived her time in Central forty-six, her fights with Kira, Hitsugaya, the entire situation surround those events, it had always been the truth. Never something more, and certainly never anything about events that might come.

A half truth, not trying to be difficult about things, and the small vice captain mumbled a quiet, "I get nightmares sometimes." Hinamori allowed a moment of silence before offering a further quiet statement, "It's just worse than normal, even with Hitsugaya-kun around. I don't know why." Forcing herself, she finally picked up her cup, trying hard to still her fingers and grasping it in her lap. It was something else to stare at, something that wasn't Nemu. Not because she was afraid or any of that but just because... Because they were both lying, in some small way. Hinamori didn't want to be the one to break that and be the reason they were both left to their respective ghosts.

"Ah." The vice captain took a slow sip of her tea, eyes fluttering closed for a moment, bruised eye swollen slightly. "I don't dream unless I wish to." She mentioned, opening her eyes again and staring deep into the cup as if it could tell her things, reveal why they were sitting here, both speaking in veiled truths and both aware of how things truly were and why they'd be like that.

"... That should help." Dark eyes moved to the small parcel. She fidgeted. Mayuri-sama was waiting. She could almost feel him, he was haunting her even now, breathing down her neck.

"I wish I could do that." She could at least tell herself, reassure Tobiume - the zanpakuto having voiced her fears after the first night and never once having left the vice captains side since - that what she saw when she closed her eyes would never, ever happen. Even if she could smell, feel blood, feel cold steel, hear clanging metal, it was like that curse. And she would - couldn't, but tried to anyway - ignore it.

At Nemu's slight movement she forced another smile, a sip of her own. "Would you like something to go with the tea?" Hinamori was loathe to allow Nemu to go back, to be alone, though she knew there was very little she could do, precious seconds she tried to cling to. It had been a while since she'd heard the ticking of the City, but she could almost swear she heard it now, with Nemu looking the way she did.

"... It's easy to suppress that part of the brain." Nemu spoke of things she had been created to be able to do. Her eyes fell again, she kept trying to meet Hinamori's gaze, but kept failing, her master's words echoing in her head. "Worthless. What, you think you can have friends, Nemu? You think you deserve friends?" He had laughed. "You deserve nothing. You are only what I give you, what I allow you. Nothing more than a creation. My daughter. And a useless one at that."

"... Whatever you'd like to offer me would be acceptable, and gratiously accepted." She finally said, taking another small sip of her tea.

She smiled softly, more naturally at that. "For you, maybe. I find... It very hard to stop myself once I start thinking about anything." In truth, part of her wondered if she somehow deserved the nightmares, that she needed the warning or future events no matter how disturbing, how unlikely they were. She knew she was still weak, that sometimes it was all she could do not to think about certain parts of her past, but she didn't want to think, to know that there was a chance Tobiume could ever be raised against a friend for anything other than training. Never would she allow it.

But the smile managed to grow a little, the small vice captain climbing to her feet slowly. "There's some cake, if you'd like? I meant to ask Kira-kun to take it with him, but I forgot," she said softly, heading for the kitchen once again.

"... I would find that satisfactory." She tried to smile, but it ended up as only a quiver of her lips, which stayed in the expressionless blank of her face, carefully kept free of pain, or fear, of regret, confusion, and sorrow. All but her eyes.

When Hinamori left the room she sank down into her seat, back losing the stiffness and hands shaking lightly as she gripped her bare knees, not wincing as she applied pressure to one of her worse bruises. He was there, still there, always there.

Hinamori wasted time, shifting dishes about, selecting a knife in order to cut slices, cutting the slices, all her actions slow and careful. She couldn't see Kurotsuchi-taichou - didn't particularly want to, the man had always scared her, especially when there had been some rumours about him having been interested in what mental trauma she might have undergone that affected her coma - couldn't see anyone that she didn't know was in the City, but that didn't make it less true. There was proof enough with Nemu's wounds.

And that was why it took her five minutes to plate the first slice, a further three minutes to get the second, the whole affair taking her a good seventeen minutes in total. Hinamori laughed nervously as she carried them through, murmuring a soft, "I can't believe I forgot the forks," and disappeared for another two minutes in order to retrieve them after setting the plates down. Her lack of sleep really was getting to her. Sighing softly and berating herself she returned once more, passing the utensil over to Nemu with a small smile. "It should still be good. Hitsugaya-kun and Nell had some last night, and they didn't complain." Not that Nell ever complained about food and Hitsugaya-kun, well, she wasn't sure if he would, but she hoped if it had been bad he would have told her.

Nemu waited quietely, to be honest, she was immensely grateful for the time it took, for whatever reason it took that long to retrieve two slices of cake. But she counted every second, reveled in ever second, because the haunt was not there, waiting for her yes, in her mind, yes, but she couldn't see him.

When Hinamori re-entered the room the creation straighened once again, unfolding from her inward slump, back straight, shoulders back. A proper vice who knew her place. She accepted her plate with a small nod, moving slow, achingly so, as she took a small bite and tried to smile again, a twitch in the corner of her lips.

"It is good." She murmured softly.

"Ah, really? I'm glad." She smiled softly, gently, sampling her own slice and finding it much the same as she had when she had eaten it with Kira, the reason she had cake at all. "I feel bad, since I didn't get to give it to Kira-kun until after his birthday, but I think he enjoyed it too." It was a mixture of babbling and not, slow where she normally would have talked fast, just struggling to come up with something that could lead into something else that wouldn't be silence, wouldn't mean Nemu's leaving.

"Oh." The creation looked down at the cake and her brow furrowed slightly. "I was unaware it was Kira Izuru's day of birth." Of course, she didn't know anyone's. Mayuri-sama did not ever talk about such useless, pointless, things, and wouldn't tolerate it from any in the 12th either. And shinigami hardly ever made big deals of their birthdays anyway, they had so many one began to loose track.

"... Did you have a pleasant time?" Her responses were slow, as she had to think each one through, make it as impersonal as she could personally get.

"Mm! March twenty-seventh. I tried to find him something, but instead we just had dinner." It wasn't that she made a big deal of birthdays - she knew when they were, or rather, when it was said they were, for her closest friends, some of the seated officers of her division. And she tried to do something for each one, even if it was as simple as flowers or a cake or in some cases a day off training where she could.

But talking about Kira was a lot better than focusing on her not sleeping, and it was evident she was more cheerful, if still tired. "We did. Kira-kun's been so quiet lately, and I know he doesn't like drawing attention to it, but I wanted to do something for him."

Nemu nodded, still picking slowly at the piece of cake.

"I do not interact much with Kira Izuru." She had, a few times, since coming to the City, but she hardly spoke with anyone in Seireitei, her activites outside of her division restricted to Women's Assocation meetings and Vice-Captains meetings.

"... He seems very gentle, though." Nemu paused, re-evaluated her word choice, eyes down. "Kind. Quiet."

Hinamori took a careful sip of tea before responding, glad this required little effort. She was still torn between being formal and not, but she tried to keep the tone of the conversation light. "He is. I'm really glad he's my friend, though I don't see him too much since he's not a vice captain and he transferred out of the fifth division. I think he'd make a good one though, a vice captain." She didn't mention feeling he was stronger than her sometimes, didn't mention how she was glad he had forgiven her for fighting him. Kira was Kira, one of the few people she could spend hours talking to or about.

"But you probably know your division best. I went to the academy with him, Abarai-kun too, which is why we're so close." Another sip and a content smile - the academy was the safest part of her time as a shinigami to remember. Certainly her desire to do everything for Aizen had started there but she'd also made many of her friends, learned to become strong for herself. Hadn't been too caught up in a lie she didn't even notice. Not until they'd gone to the living world, and Hinamori knew that moment was the defining point, the moment everyone else had become second place and she'd been lost.

But those were memories, and the smile had wavered, so to counter it she took another bite of the cake, wondering if there was something else she could ask about.

Nemu finished her cake and took the last sip of her tea. She stared at the empty cup, the empty plate. Her stomach flipped unpleasantly and there was aheavy sensation. The shinigami meant to comment on "friends"... but instead her mouth opened soundlessly as she gathered breath.

"... I should go."

It sounded like a sentencing.

Hinamori winced inwardly at the heavy manner in which the words sounded. Almost desperately she stood, as if suddenly remembering something. "Ah! Can I ask you to do me a favour as I'm not allowed to leave alone?"

It was a very, very pathetic attempt to stall Nemu's return home, but it was all she had. "Will you deliver some cake to Isane?"

Nemu blinked, and it took a moment to recognize the attempt for what it was. ... She appreciated it.

"I will drop it off, if you'd like." She whispered, standing slowly and straightening the bottom hem of her skirt. She didn't want to actually face the healer as she was.

"Alright! I'll cut a slice for you too." More nervous laughter and she disappeared into the kitchen for the fourth time, shifting about for something to put the slices into, a clean knife - because she needed a clean knife, honest - wasting even more time. And somewhat loudly, shifting about in cabinets as if she didn't know the layout of a room she spent quite a bit of time in.

Hinamori took her time, carefully wrapping the two slices in wax paper - possibly a few sheets too much, but it had to be done just right. She glanced at the remains, enough for another slice each, but Nell would probably want some more so she left it. A few more shufflings - because she wasn't sure if the bags she'd found already were good enough, really! - and she resigned herself to the fact that she honestly had done all she could. Unless Nemu wanted to help with the dishes, but that really would be a last ditch attempt.

Yawning and sighing all at once she returned, holding the individually wrapped slices out for the other vice captain. "Thank you very much for coming over."

"... Thank you for having me." The response was automatic, and the creation accepted the slices, holding them gingerly, careful not to crush them. ... She would give them both to Isane. Even if she took hers home it would not survive long.

She was halfway out the door before she turned.

"Hinamori..." She paused, unable to finish her sentence. But her eyes tried to convey what she wanted to say. Thank you.

And then she had left.

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