tampered | Completed Log (of sorts)

When; Tonight, just after (sort of) this.
Rating; A FOR ANGST?
Characters; Subaru [

gemini_runing] & Seishirou (Who is to follow him for 8 days au cause de him requesting the Red Ribbon)
Summary; Subaru loses his brother, only to find him again in the worst possible way.
Log;

I wonder where he went, Seishirou-san had purred after Kamui vanished, leaving behind a gaping void where their bond had been. Subaru knew he wasn’t dead, knew it only because he desired it so, because he had already paid the price for the red ribbon. But he really couldn’t tell. There was nothing, nothing at all. It was like missing an eye or a limb—part of him, that had always been there, was gone somewhere.

And so he looked. He searched every place he could think of, wading through the sands of the beach they had visited, climbing the apartment buildings to look out across the city. Kamui had always liked tall places. He searched in silence, ignoring others, hunting out the best he could.

I’m supposed to be the hunter, Seishirou-san had chuckled when Subaru finally grew tired. He had followed the whole day, quite as if in respect for Subaru’s sorrow. But that silence was more unnerving than had he spoken—Subaru found himself looking over his shoulder, trying to catch the man’s attention, making sure he was still there. He was like a knife in his heart, the pain as sweet as the joy he felt when Seishirou-san looked at him. That he could not stop his traitorous feelings… Death was perhaps the only way to escape such a cage, if even for a moment.

You’re wearing yourself out. Seishirou-san had said, backing him against a wall, touching his face, standing so close Subaru could see himself reflected in that white, glassy eye. And he had shivered, not knowing what he wanted more—his brother to return, Seishirou-san to stay, or to continue this unbearable agony as his punishment. He was unable to go forward, unable to go back.

“Seishirou-san,” was all that he could manage before he had pulled away and fled, hurrying back to the apartment to see if Kamui had arrived. He was nowhere, of course, and Seishirou-san had followed, like his shadow. Overwhelmed, he had collapsed in their bed, tired heart slowing at last as he fell asleep, unable to continue on. He would search when he awoke. Seishirou-san would be there. Perhaps.. perhaps so would Kamui.

And then.

Jolting awake, Subaru wrenched himself from the bed as if in a dream, dread filling him, his body cold and his limbs numb. He could feel a lingering warmth, only the mere whisper of memory where life had once been. It was nothing like the void—He could feel Kamui’s death, heavy as it was ungraspable.

“No no no no no..” Words spilled from his mouth as he dashed from the bedroom, Seishirou-san only a startled blur in the background, a shadow to be forgotten, out of place and unwanted. Subaru had to find him. He could not even hope against hope—he could not deny the fact that burned dark and unbearable in his breast. But he needed to see. He needed to find his brother.

Throwing open the bedroom Kamui-chan used to stay in, Subaru only gave it a cursory glance--Not there. Not there. Then the only other place…

He did not notice crossing the room, or the way the bathroom door bounced back against the wall and nearly struck him. All he knew was the dark stain of red, so familiar to his vampire eyes, spilling out from his brother’s body. All he could see was the gleam of the knife and Kamui’s peaceful expression, as if asleep.

And then he was in Subaru’s arms, blood soaking through, staining his fingers and the odd thought fluttered by him, that he had never hated who he was before this moment, for even now blood did not disgust him as it should have. It was his brothers blood. Kamui’s blood. Blood that should have never been spilt.

And only then did he see the note, only then did he notice Seishirou-san standing in the door way, only then did he realize he had yet to shed tears. Only then did he see the red ribbon, like a string of blood, like the mark of his hand upon Kamui's throat. Only then, only then… Always too late. Never was he allowed to save the ones he loved.

“Kamui…” Subaru buried his face in his brother’s neck, and prayed for it to end.