Log; Complete

[ikigainashi.livejournal.com]

When; July 7th [Evening].
Rating; PG [WTF?].
Characters; Sakurazuka Seishirou [sakurazuka_san] and Sakurazuka Subaru [ikigainashi].
Summary; Still reeling from his separation with Ranmaru, Subaru is not in his right mind like he ever is and Seishirou picks the worst best time to drop by and move in.
Log;

The news really hadn't been all that surprising. Ranmaru had decided to break things off - when Seishirou had heard it all, he responded with the least amount of shock possible. It had been doomed, and he, with his one eye, had seen it far more clearly than the others with their fully functional optic nerves. The irony was almost murderously humourous.

The curious thing, though, was Subaru stepping up to his defence. Curious, indeed. And, well, he had always had an inquisitive nature to certain things like this. Which was why, at such a late time of night, he had taken watch of Subaru's apartment and moved to the scene. Nandarou still was a useful shikigami, even after his own death. And once he was at the door, just across the hall, the hawk flew away as silently as it had come. Subtlety was a natural integral of the old job - and old habits did die hard.

He smiled to himself at the thought when, as he flicked on the spark wheel of a Zippo in an attempt to light the cigarette in his mouth, a sakura petal floated from seemingly nowhere in the middle of the apartment. Subtlety... finesse... he had been a master of those concepts at such an early age.


Having been doing nothing other than speaking on the network for awhile, Subaru had soon grown weary of the device. It was hard enough for him to socialize anymore anyway, so drawing attention to himself was even more difficult. It was almost like a physical pain.

It was almost a relief when he felt a presence that was familiar and no longer chill inducing but still disturbing enough. And he wasn't surprised. Of course Seishirou would want to investigate Subaru talking about him.

Standing and turning, Subaru watched the single cherry petal fall. He was quick to swing his hand to the side, a sliver of power slicing the petal in half so that the two separate halves could flutter their own ways down to the hardwood floor. Poetic.

Disgusted in several things at the moment, including himself, he stubbed out what was left of his cigarette while glaring at the closed door. Locks were useless in this place, and so he rarely bothered.

"Normally, people just knock," he called out softly.


The smoke hung in the air for a moment before he expelled the first stream of smoke from his lungs. The taste lingered with the green tea he had drunk merely a few moments ago - this must be a taste no one could forget. Amusing, really.

Subaru had always been the observant one, really. It was hardly a surprise, then, when he heard the younger man call to him from behind the closed door. Deciding to keep it all so simple, he cracked open the door to peer in. "Is that so?" he replied, before shoving the door open and sliding in through it. With a chuckle of amusement, he closed the door behind him and leaned against it to take another hit off his own cigarette. "And normally, people lock doors."


That made Subaru shake his head and turn to look out the sliding glass door leading to the balcony. The urge to smoke had increased ever since he had left Ranmaru's, and watching Seishirou smoke wasn't helping. Just as he was pulling his lighter out, he paused as the small white kitten dubbed Hokuto-chan pranced by to go over and sniff at his show.

In seconds, Subaru was there, swooping the kitten up into an embrace and giving Seishirou a glower that could have burnt through glass. Testier than normal, certainly, but always worried for the small animal.

"I put up wards when I sleep," was his biting response. "Now why don't you leave?"


"Why should I leave, Subaru-kun?" he asked quickly, still smiling a little while he eyed the kitten. A cute one, really - and named after the most important kill of his life, it seemed. A bit fitting, really. He again took another inhalation of smoke, only to dispel it in a lazy silver trail through the air. "Are you inviting company over?" he asked flippantly while reaching to scratch the kitten's ear. "Had I known, I'd not have dropped by."

And then he turned to look directly at Subaru. "Is it Ranmaru-sama, perhaps?" Then, with a small, almost self-satisfied smirk, he brushed past Subaru to take a seat upon the couch. He quickly made himself at home as he leaned back into the sofa cushions and looked about the place. Slightly messy.... more from slight neglect than anything, really. Typical of Subaru, wasn't it?


That was enough to make him freeze up, allowing the kitten to scramble out of his arms and totter off to her food and water bowls in the kitchen. Ranmaru. Nothing was a secret.

Of course not. Even if it hadn't been in a dream that others could see, Seishirou always had a way of finding things out. Alwaysalwaysalways. ...Shadow.

Glaring at the floor, he just quietly stalked past the couch and down the hall and to his bedroom. He couldn't deal with his shadow right now. Was Seishirou here to gloat? Expected it, maybe, but certainly hadn't wanted it.

If he went to sleep and locked his door, maybe Seishirou would be gone when he woke up.


He knew he had hit a nerve. Subaru's silence and his move to another room had proven him right, after all. Lazily, he moved from the couch and followed Subaru, even into the bedroom, and then situated himself to lean against the doorjamb. No, he wasn't to be ignored forever - as though Subaru would, anyway.

"Not in the mood to entertain other guests, I take it?" he replied smoothly as more smoke hung in the air. Regardless, he would remain. He had always been there - perhaps not physically, but he had been watching. And he would not be denied, he had resolved. "Those poor habits aren't good for your health, you know, Subaru-kun."


Having lit up his next cigarette thanks to the kitten no longer being near him, he just stopped to turn and give Seishirou a sour look for a long moment before looking down, his hair strewn to shade his gaze. The silence could have been called thick then. Heavy, like a weight on his chest and a padding in his ears.

"...Do you wish to take them from me? My bad habits?" the Sakurazukamori whispered, his hand trembling as he lifted the cigarette to his lips. The tip burned and crackled, lighting up in the dark as he took the smoke into his lungs, relished it, and then expelled it.

"Just like everything else you've taken?" Subaru lifted his head, a glint in his eyes that hardly resembled anything stable, and he began walking towards Seishirou, voice slowly raising as he got closer. "My happiness. My love. My sister. My wish. My hope!"

The last few steps were darted, and he slammed his gloved palm against the door frame just beside the older man's head, ash falling from the burning cigarette and onto Seishirou's shoulder. "What else do you need?! I have nothing else to offer! My dignity is long gone. Do you want this eye back? Is that it? Take it!"


It seemed that all he could provide was silence in responce, but soon after, a familiar rumble of low laughter reverberated within his throat. Always a flair for the dramatics, he had noted. The amber eye looked at Subaru with such a familiar sort of warmth.... the opal silently scrutinising his every move without expression. One more hit, and the cigarette faded into smoke and ashes as the remains were dropped to the floor, crushed by the sole of a slick black shoe.

"Is that what you want me to do?" he asked. "Silly Subaru-kun." His hand soon swiped the cigarette from Subaru's fingers before he took a long, deep inhalation. The same brand... it was so easy to steal them from him, really. He brushed the ashes from the shoulder of his black blazer - the same hand then grabbing Subaru's wrist. "You forgot already." The ashes upon his fingertips were smeared on Subaru's wrist... as though they were reminders.


He wanted to snarl. He wanted to cry. To hit him and hurt him and hope that maybe some of that pain that Subaru felt could be reflected onto him. But Seishirou would never feel pain--not in the same way everybody else did. And even without his dignity, Subaru could not bring himself to drop down and beg to just be left alone.

And wasn't he already alone? Seshirou wasn't really there. He was dead, after all. Killed. Murdered? No... Subaru had been his bizarre suicide weapon.

Curling his fingers, a fist was clenched, but he did not hit him like he wanted. Instead he merely stood there and glared. "You forgot to take off your shoes," he whispered heatedly.


"Did I?" he rhetorically quipped, looking to the crushed cigarette butt on the floor. Almost flattened entirely... A sly look came across his face as he looked up to Subaru. And he had always wondered what had triggered the addiction - he'd have to ask that sometime, wouldn't he?

He let Subaru's wrist slide from his grip, and the moment he had no physical contact with the other, he pulled back and turned to face the hallway. "How careless of me." And then he headed down the corridor toward the den.


Head hanging as Seishirou turned and left the room, he merely stood there, waiting and listening to see if he was leaving. When it was clear he wasn't, Subaru turned and slumped back against the wall, lifting his hand to eye the grey smear just below his glove.

Fingertips brushed it, smearing it even more as he recalled an english rhyme as he slid down against the wall, soon seated on his knees and staring at nothing. "Ashes, ashes, we all fall down."

If only it were that simple. If Seishirou had been the plague that had simply killed him. But no, it was something he was stick with, whether or not he was physically there. He will always live in your eye, Fuuma...no...Kamui had told him. And that's why you can't let yourself die.

And so all he could do was wait for the end of the worlds, and selfishly hope it was soon.