Log; Complete

[opfern.livejournal.com]

When; June 30th [Afternoon].
Rating; PG
Characters; Edward Elric [deduced] & Alfons Heiderich [opfern].
Summary; The day after this, while Al is still recovering from his vampire attack, Alfons prepares to stay for a few days for moral support. An argument wriggles its way into the awkwardness, but mostly it's just awkward. Backdated like whoa.
Log;

It was a relief to know that Alphonse wasn't in any mortal danger, but the injuries had still appeared quite troublesome. It didn't help that the young alchemist didn't have a clear memory of what had taken place.

Hoping it would be all right to leave the Elrics alone for the moment, Noah had returned home with Alfons just in time to get tackled by the twins. It was really too warm to wrestle, disgustingly hot in fact, but it was hard to turn down those seemingly sweet faces when they asked nicely.

It was when their little hands tried to wander far too much that he decided play time was over, and the look he gave Noah was rather apologetic as he gathered the kittens into the medium sized crate so that he could return to the butcher shop. He knew that she could handle the children well enough, but the looks they gave him as he left still creeped him out.

Toting a plastic bag full of various articles in one hand, and the cat carrier in the other, Alfons was eager to get back inside where it was cooler. He tried to be quiet as he leaned back against the door to close it, shutting his eyes for a moment to relax.


Things seemed to have gone from bad to worse in less time than he could believe. Al had been attacked. Riza had left. Hughes had been...Hughes. And to top it all off, he and Alfons had only gotten back to talking again before everything had kicked off.

Turning his attention back toward the corridor that led to Al's room, Ed shook his head. Yet again, he'd let Al get himself hurt and hadn't done a thing to stop it. The fact that Al was currently in a better position to defend himself, didn't even factor into it. It was his job. One that he was only too glad to have. And he'd failed. And now, he was forced to sit and wait while Al was left to rest, his earlier help from Isane doing all the work that he, yet again, couldn't give.


Still remaining quiet, since he wasn't sure if Alphonse was awake or if Ed was napping, he carefully walked up the stairs above the butcher shop, only to spot Edward on his way to the kitchen. Sitting on the sofa, looking about as relaxed as someone at a job interview.

With a shake of his head, Alfons set the carrier down and unlatched the door so that the kittens could slowly step out and sniff at their surroundings. Tony, being the slightly older one and always rather fearless, was already trotting off down the hall. Ciro was a bit shyer, so Alfons set his bag down and picked up the white kitten and stepped over to hold him out to Edward.

"Meet Ciro."


It took him a few moments to realize that the cat hovering in front of him wasn't a figment of his imagination. It took even longer for him to then catch on to the fact that the cat wasn't actually hovering, but being held out. "...hey." Smiling slightly, Ed looked over to Alfons, relishing the feeling of relief he'd brought with him. Even with everything else that was going on between them, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't glad the other had come.

Turning back to the kitten, Ed shook his head in amusement, before reaching out with his left arm, his fingers scratching the top of its head. "I...didn't know if you'd come back."


Before Ciro could claw too match at Edward's hand, Alfons set the kitten down, only for it to follow at his heels as he moved to push the crate out of the walkway. "But I said I would," he pointed out as he picked up the plastic bag so that he could walk into the kitchen. He'd brought the bowls and food with him, so he needed to set that up for them.

He waited until he'd filled the bowl with water before speaking up again, attempting not to trip over Ciro all the while. "They'll just meow at the door when they want out to use the bathroom. They always come back. Hopefully they won't get on your nerves..."


He watched Alfons distractedly, turning in his seat to follow him through to the kitchen. Though he'd agreed to let the cats come over, he hadn't been planning to spend much attention on them anyway. So notes regarding their habits were simply met with a nod, before he was turning back in his seat again.

"I told you I didn't mind." Though how long that would last was anyone’s guess. "Besides, Al's going to have a fielday, having them around." Especially given his previous attachment to the various animals they'd come across over the years.


The notion that Al adored animals wasn't too surprising, considering his personality. Yet another thing they had in common. Sigh.

Once the bowls were filled, Alfons washed his hands and grabbed a book he'd brought over in the bag. To read, yes, but paperbacks could be multi-purpose. Like...to fan himself with, which he did as he walked back into the living area. "How is he doing? Still resting?"


"Yeah. He's moving around, at least." Or at least enough to practically throw him out the room. "Isane did a good job." Shifting in his seat, Ed moved to one end of the sofa, making it as obvious as he could that Alfons was welcome to sit there too. "He's eating now, so hopefully he should be back to normal in no time." Or so he hoped.


Alfons glanced over to him, eyeing the expression on the older boy's face. Then, his gaze traveled back down to the kitten, and he nudged at it lightly with his shoe in an attempt to get Ciro to go off and explore.

"Are you blaming yourself?" Really, what else was new? Alfons wondered when Ed didn't blame himself for something. "You can't do everything, you know. You can't be with him all the time. These things happen... Especially in a place such as this. Just be grateful he's alive, and try not to dwell."


Sighing to himself, Ed turned his attention to the floor, a frown on his face. "He's my brother. I'm meant to..." Protect him? But what use was he now? To help him? Again, there wasn't a thing he could do. "...you don't understand. I can't just leave him to look after himself. This is what happens!" He knew it was unfair to come to that conclusion. Especially considering that Al had proved he could take care of himself countless times already, but logic wasn't playing a factor just then.


Lowering the back to rest his hand on his lap, Alfons shifted to look at Edward, his tone soft despite his hard expression. "No, I don't understand what it's like having a brother. I was an only child, after all. But I know how it is to love someone and want to take care of them... To help them be strong but also protect them from the world."

With a sigh, Alfons' face softened as he slumped back and propped his elbow up on the armrest so that he could lean into his hand. "But what can you do? Follow him everywhere he goes? You two are together enough, I think. Anymore and you might as well glue yourselves at the hip."

That thought made him crack a grin, since he knew Edward's feet wouldn't quite touch the ground if that was done, but...he knew better than to make a short joke right then.


His eyes widened in something close to shock, attention quickly pinned to Alfons as he spoke. He hadn't meant it that way, and the others reaction had been the reason why. Opening his mouth to try and cut Alfons off, he was quick to close it again. As much as he may not've wanted to hear it, Alfons was right.

And so, in an almost defeated voice, he continued. "If that was what it took to keep him safe, I'd follow him wherever I had to. He's my brother, and nothing is ever going to change that." Smiling to himself, he shrugged his shoulders. "If I did that though, I think Al would end up killing me."


It was really admirable, how devoted Edward was to his brother. And he knew it was the same for Alphonse, of course. With a small smile, Alfons shook his head and waved his hand. "Killing might be an exaggeration... I'm sure you'd get plenty of yelling, though."

The air felt heavy to him then, and not just because of the humidity. "I worry about you, too... Especially considering you can't use alchemy anymore, and with how hot headed you are." He shut his eyes and tipped his head back, enjoying a bit of breeze from an open window. "Every moment is hard when I'm away from you, because I'm afraid you've gotten yourself into danger. All those stories of you being the Fullmetal Alchemist...it's still hard for me to imagine that life for you."

Opening his eyes, Alfons stared up at the ceiling. "...I know you just got into rockets to find your brother, but that's how I knew you. It seems like this other Edward is just a stranger to me."


"I'm still the same person, you know. Just because the others are here, I'm still me." He gave a weak smile, even as he turned to look away from Alfons, leaning back against the sofa. "I haven't been 'Fullmetal' since before I met you. I'm not in any rush to go back to it." It wasn't as though he had a choice now anyway.

"...the offer is still open, you know?" The very same one he'd given the moment he found out that both Al and Alfons were in the city. "Just because Al is here, it...it doesn't mean I don't want to stay with you too." Even after everything that'd happened during their time there, he wasn't planning to just ignore it all. "You don't have to be away in the first place."


The idea made him smile. A part of him certainly missed living with Edward... But it still seemed like an odd idea. Not because of Alphonse anymore, though... They got along well enough.

How was he supposed to live with Edward, when things were still so awkward? Alfons was afraid to make a move, or even pat him on the shoulder now. He didn't want to ever see him flinch at his touch again.

"...Well. You and Alphonse would need to move, if we were to live together. I couldn't let Noah stay by herself in this place. And the children stay with us so much, it's almost like they live there now... I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them on their own, either."


And therein lay another problem of its own. Alfons and Noah currently lived with the same two children who'd attacked him not too long ago. To turn around and tell Alfons he couldn't see yet more of the people he seemed attached to... "Can't they just go back to living with Cirucci again?" Having Noah stay with them would simply feel like old times. But Hansel and Gretel too? "They've lived on their own before, haven't they?"


Alfons tipped his head to the side. "I don't think they ever actually lived with Cirucci... Just visited a lot. I know there's a house in Xanadu that they lived in before, and I think they still go there sometimes... There are some nights they don't come back at all. They seem rather good at taking care of themselves."

With a sheepish smile, he shrugged a bit. "But it would still be rather irresponsible of me to just kick two children out onto the curb. I would feel terrible. And they seem to like you...they might not mind living with you."


From that one sentence alone, it was obvious that Alfons hadn't seen a single conversation between them yet. If he had, he'd know there was a very different reasoning behind it all.

"The four of us are more than enough. Besides, you just said that they're able to take care of themselves, so just let them. They're not your responsibility." That and they honestly seemed to care about what Alfons thoughts. Or at least it'd seemed that way so far. Perhaps it was more of a default through them wanting to please Cirucci. Either way, he didn't want to cause a problem when one could be avoided.


That made Alfons frown a bit, and irritation flickered in his eyes as he dropped his hand and looked over to Edward. "They're able to take care of themselves, but they shouldn't have to. They're only children, Edward. I know they aren't exactly in the right minds, but I'm trying to help them. Nobody else has."

He was having a flashback now, even though he didn't want to. "You said Cirucci wasn't my responsibility, too. Do you just not like me being around people you aren't already friends with?"


"It's nothing like that." They were not having this conversation. They couldn't be. "I just want you to be safe." ...well apparently, they were. Now he had the problem of trying to get his point across without actually telling Alfons everything. Something for both of their benefits. "I didn't say you couldn't be their friends. I just said that they don't have to move in too."


"Safe?" Now the look he was offering was quizzical. "I know that they're troublesome children, but the worst they've managed is nearly blowing up the stove. ...Complete accident."

Alfons sighed and stood up, running his fingers through his hair. It was too hot to argue, especially over something as stupid as this. "I'm not just throwing children out onto the curb, Edward. I'm not that cold-hearted. I'm sorry."

It felt like there was something Edward wasn't telling him... "I think you should know I went to see Cirucci a few days ago."


A frown, and Ed was beginning to find the carpet very interesting. A safe haven from having to look back toward Alfons. ...it meant he didn't have to give in and explain himself. "Until you decide they're old enough to look after themselves, I guess it just leaves here or out in the City." He wasn't planning to go anywhere near Alfons' home or the gardens for a long time.

"...I guessed as much." Judging by the message Cirucci had posted, something about a cake, Ed would've had to have been an idiot not to realize that Alfons had gone to see her again.


His lips twitched, and he folded his arms across his chest while turning to look back at Edward. He looked...dejected. Guilt once again wriggled its way into his head, and Afons sighed and stepped over. Against his better judgment, he sat back down and reached to touch the other's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to sneak around, or anything... And she was cordial. I think she's getting better? I'm sure if you just...give her a chance, she can be very nice."


"I didn't have a problem with you talking to her. I just...people were classing you along with her." Guilty by association. Just because he seemed to care about Cirucci, it had meant that others had taken him as an enemy. The situation between the shinigami and arrancar was tense enough, and to watch as Alfons was dragged in to it wasn't something Ed planned to do. "No matter what happens with her, you should know that I'm never going to trust her." Even if he tried, he doubted that would happen.


Alfons blinked and sat back a bit. Classing him with her? Well...such a thing was only natural. And Alfons would be a liar if he said he didn't care what other people thought...especially back home. His homeland, and his reputation... He would have sooner bit off his own tongue than admit to having 'relations' with another man.

But things were different here, to a certain extent. He didn't really know how to explain. "I don't really...expect you to trust her, Edward. Considering you don't seem to trust anyone, that would be asking a bit much of you. I'm just asking you to...tolerate her. After all, she's never once hurt me." She had cut him on the neck, once, but that had only been a little bit...and Ed didn't need to know about that.


"I do tolerate her. But it doesn't mean I have to actually like her. And it definitely doesn't mean I have to be happy about you two being friends." All he'd ever wanted was for Alfons to be safe. Something that seemed impossible when he'd been an obvious friend to Cirucci. As for not being hurt, a single word managed to escape him, despite trying to keep it inside. "...yet."


And there it was again. He couldn't be angry with Edward for his behavior, though. Cirucci had proven herself volatile on many occasions, and even Alfons wasn't sure how much he trusted her. But he still did, however little...

"Edward, it's not like she can kill me, right?" Trying to smile, he reached to touch his back. "You're going to split in half if you worry about us both. Just concentrate on worrying about your brother. I'm sort of a lost cause, you know?"


His reaction was immediate, the glare being directed to Alfons in seconds. He'd brought that up again. The one thing he'd fought again. The one inevitability. Alfons had died, and even an exchange with the deities hadn't been able to stop it. That was bad enough on its own. Yet alone with Alfons dragging it into the conversation.

"That doesn't matter. Even if you're-" He cut himself off, making sure to bypass the D-word. "It doesn't mean you can go and throw yourself into dangerous situations because you feel like it.


The glare made him flinch, and he knew that he had two options here. He could do what he normally did, and let that subject die...or continue arguing. ...It really was too hot. Maybe it was making him irritable.

"Even if I'm what?" He spoke quietly. "Even if I'm dead? Well trust me, I'm not trying to throw myself into dangerous situations... But once you've died, Edward, it doesn't seem like there's much left to be afraid of. It isn't as if I can get any deader...and you need to stop acting like I can."


He just didn't get it, did he? Even if he was dead, it didn't make things any easier to witness a second time around. And as selfish as it may've seemed, he refused to let the same thing happen again. "It doesn't mean you have to go through the same thing again. Once was more than enough." Neither of them were going through all that again. "What else do you expect me to say? Go ahead and let yourself get killed when it could be avoided?"


Quickly, he shook his head. "No! But I'm not trying to get killed again, Edward. I'm just trying to figure things out. It's just the sort of thing you need to stop worrying about so much. Concentrate more on yourself and your brother... You still have lives to lose, and you need to return home before that becomes debatable."

Looking at Edward quizzically, Alfons just had to ask. "Have you even been trying to find a way out?"


"There's only two people I give a damn about. One of them ended up injured, and the other one died again. I'm not going to just forget about it because you say to." He'd 'failed' once already. To both of them. He wasn't about to have a repeat. "You try to ignore everything that's happened, and you see how easy it is to forget. He may be my brother, but that doesn't mean he's the only person I care about." That much should've been obvious by then.

His scowl dropped for a brief moment, instead opting to look away from Alfons as he sighed to himself. A way out. It was the same thing most people trapped in the City should've been looking for. And yet... "There isn't one." In other words, it was a subject he'd try to avoid.


It wasn't as if he was angry Edward cared about him. Quite the opposite, really. It made him feel needed, wanted, maybe even loved. But if he was at all the reason Ed had stopped looking for a way out, that Alfons wouldn't be able to stand himself. Since when did Edward Elric give up?

Frustrated, Alfons stood up and glared down at him. "What do you mean there isn't one? Of course there is! People are leaving all the time, we just don't know how. You found a way back home before, even if it was only for a short time. You can do it again... I can try to help."


"And where would my home be?" His voice was low, even as he forced his gaze up to Alfons. "The two places I've been able to call home are the same two places I can't go back to." One no longer existed, and the other just couldn't. Not without Alfons there too. "While we're all here, I've got everything I want. ...I'm not in a rush to change that."

He knew it was unfair to keep his brother trapped in the City if there was a way out, but as far as he knew, there wasn't one. He wasn't about to go and find out if he'd been wrong. Especially not if it meant having to make a decision before staying in the City or heading back to Amestris.

"This is home enough."


He didn't really know what to say to that. Edward couldn't return to the Germany...? Well, Alfons understood why such an idea was dangerous, considering the way he left. Alfons had gotten shot just for assisting him. Who knew what they might do to Edward.

But why couldn't he return to Amestris? He wanted to ask, but somehow the timing just felt poor. Perhaps another time.

This is home enough. If he wanted to think that, then Alfons...selfishly wanted to agree. It was like a home for him, after all. He wouldn't be able to leave.

"...All right. You know yourself better than I do, Edward." With a concerned smile, he patted his back one last time before leaning back to pick up his book and actually read it. Or...try to, anyhow.

Making the City their home... He'd need to get the younger Elric's opinion on that sometime.