Log; Complete - PART 2

[conflictive.livejournal.com]

When; Sunday, after Evelynne's impending party and suchlike. X)
Rating; NC-17
Characters; Zack | yourarmor & Cloud | conflictive
Summary; They do it.
NOTE; This log kind of defies LJ's entry word limit, so it's been split up into three or so parts. >: Sorry!
Log;

It was silly, but Zack couldn't help but smile a little bit within the kiss,
promptly amused for a second that this was happening. As cheesy as it was,
Zack had been waiting a long time for this moment to happen, and instead of
worrying anymore he let said things he was worried about roll off his
shoulders and out of sight.

But he kept his thoughts in place, just so he wouldn't loose himself in the
process. Zack had the habit of throwing away thoughts that were rational and
pretending there was nothing holding him back at all. So he kept repeating
to himself to go slow, be gentle, because as much as he wished he could
throw those thoughts out the window, the one thing that he didn't put on the
shelf was the knowledge that Cloud was new to this. Unnerving the other was
something Zack did not want to do, along side of just doing it
because Zack wanted it. Wouldn't be fair to Cloud. And with that, Zack
instantly decided that this wasn't about he himself, but it was about Cloud.

The guy had been through so much as it was, and Zack couldn't be beside him
when he really needed him the most. And as much as Cloud wanted to deny it,
Zack had a lot to make up for all those lost years, and he'd do whatever was
in his power to make Cloud comfortable and not have to worry, be scared, or
be alone. It was his mission before his death and, ironically, it was his
mission after it as well.

Zack shifted a bit as a hand pressed down on Cloud's shoulder, gently easing
him down to lay fully on the couch without breaking the kiss. And as much as
he would've loved to follow suit, they were both grown men and the couch
wasn't that big to begin with, so Zack balanced one knee on the couch
while his other foot kept himself steady on the floor.

But he broke the kiss then only to lay softer ones on either side of Cloud's
flushed cheeks, pressing another on top of his forehead before pressing his
own against the blond's. With his eyes open and one of his typical, but more
affectionate smiles on his face, he smoothed back Cloud's hair with a hand.
“Love you, kiddo.”

This was all he'd ever wanted, and everything he'd fought so hard for - to
be accepted, and accepted for the awkward, sensitive, problematic person
that he was, and not someone he had to strive to change into and become.
By none other than Zack, who he'd envied and idolized, whose friendship he
considered himself unworthy of possessing, and who he'd considered perfect
and untouchable. And as much as Cloud knew that Zack was the type to
habitually spread his love freely and without discretion, just as he was
generally careless with his words, he also knew that this was sincere,
even if it was so easy and casual, like everything else about Zack, and
that meant the world to him.

Even as his face broke into a radiant, uncontrollable smile, tears blurred
his eyes. Feeling utterly stupid for being so pointlessly emotional but at
the same time, wildly, unimaginably happy, he unthinkingly twined his arms
around Zack, drawing him into a tight, heartfelt embrace, burying his face
against him, as though in an attempt to hide it.

His words were barely discernable, muffled as they were, but Cloud was
pretty sure Zack would get the idea. Hopefully. "Love you, Zack."

Strong arms automatically responded in kind and Zack attempting to control
the goofy grin on his face in favor of a soft smile, one hand lightly
cupping the back of Cloud's head in comfort as fingers idly ran through his
hair now and then. It wasn't like Zack never said those words to Cloud, but
usually it was at times where he'd shove the poor man around in a joking way
and claim that the blond was the one who loved him most. And to be honest,
he really couldn't recall a time where he said it in a completely serious
manner, or at least where it could be taken any other way than “hey, I care
about you” and the like. So yeah, it felt good when he was finally able to
say it like he meant it more than all the other times he had. Really good.
And apparently, Cloud enjoyed it just as much as he did.

And because of such, the smile Cloud gave him had probably been one of the
best ones yet. Not to mention the adorable tears that prickled at the side
of his eyelids, plus the way he tried to hide them... Zack really didn't
understand why Cloud thought he was never good enough or didn't deserve
friendship or love. It baffled him completely, but it was understandable,
thus the constant urge to want to make him feel wanted and cared for;
he also wanted to do it. Not because it was the right thing to do,
but because he was just that way. It was, again, that protective urge that
took over him whenever Cloud was around. And yes, he's heard that Cloud
could take care of himself, but Zack would always look at him and think
'boy' instead of 'man'. Not to degrade Cloud in any way shape or form, it
was just his mindset from the beginning. Cloud had also been pushed to be a
hero most of his life it seemed, so Zack wanted to shoulder some of that for
him, or at least all the burdens that came with the title.

Zack's heart swelled with happiness when the words “love you” attached to
his name were said, and coming from Cloud it just made those two simple
words all the more meaningful. Cloud probably didn't know this, but at times
Zack just wanted to be accepted by Cloud too. That was a ridiculous thing,
he knew this quite well, but it was so hard for the blond to open up, and
here he was pouring out emotions he hadn't shown to many people (none, most
likely) and allowing Zack to have the honor of being the one to see them. Ah
yes. Those emotions portrayed on his face meant more than the world to Zack,
but he knew he'd be given a funny look if he said all of that. That's why
actions spoke louder than words sometimes.

And right at that moment, it just strengthened those words to the fullest
extent. Zack was actually absolutely horrible when it came to explaining
himself on a more emotional level; if that could seem impossible or not, he
didn't care because it was completely and utterly true. If it was to comfort
someone, yes, he could probably say things in a jiffy to try and make them
feel better. Not like he was pulling out things at random, he really did
mean them. But love wasn't something you just found everyday, and if you
wanted to say it to someone you better damn well mean it or that would be
downright cruel if you didn't. And Zack meant every word he said to Cloud,
and every action and anything more he could do to show he was more than
willing and just be there for him.

It was an important factor. It always was and always will be.

Cloud would have been content staying like that forever, but he realized
that the position Zack was forced to maintain was probably less than
comfortable, because of his height relative to the couch's length. It
served him right for being so tall. Nevertheless, Cloud drew himself into
some semblance of a sitting position in an attempt to allow for more room,
pulling Zack with him, but not before giving him a small, nearly
experimental kiss, as if just to prove that he could.

He was still helpless to suppressing the smile on his face, which was so
strange for someone like him. Around Zack, though, it came naturally. So
much had changed within only the last hour, and it was a little
intimidating to think about it. Until this point, they'd been living
together as friends, but it was different now.

"I guess this really makes me the wife, then."

“Better believe it.” Zack also couldn't help but let the large grin stay in
place followed by a wink, especially since he was amused that Cloud took the
initiative to give him a kiss. Yeah, he really was going to like this. A
lot. Stupid him and his silly insecurities that really shouldn't be there in
the first place, since apparently Zack shouldn't have insecurities or be
worried about things. What people didn't know couldn't hurt them, though.

But he took a second to think about what Cloud just said and, instead of
respond again, Zack started to laugh. And not just a small laugh either, but
a loud and rather sudden one. He was amused that Cloud was the first one to
crack a joke, because he was usually the one to tease Zack about not being
able to be serious for more than a few seconds. And here Cloud was freely
joking with him, which made Zack feel even more happy; it meant he was
comfortable with him, even after all this depressing talk and then the mushy
lovey-dovey stuff thrown in for good measure.

Zack soon controlled himself and placed a kiss on the blond's forehead, not
giving an explanation as to why he was so pleasantly amused.

Cloud rolled his eyes. So he wasn't going to let go of the wife thing,
even at this point. And it didn't help that he was the reluctant owner of
a fairly sizable collection of dresses, and he wouldn't be surprised if
there would be quite a few additions to it in the near future. There were
some things about Zack that Cloud had long ceased attempting to
comprehend.

"What's so funny?" The pout on his face was more than enough to express
his indignation.

Zack simply chuckled, allowing his arms to snake around Cloud's waist while
he gave him one of those looks, the kind, as Cloud first said, made
him look like he wanted something. And with a smirk and a sultry tone to his
voice, he teased the blond a little bit with his words for fun. “S'just that
you're so cute and now all mine.”

Well, that was probably half of the case as well, but most of it had been
sheer amusement that Cloud could say such things with a straight face. And
with a sort of monotone voice as well, but it made him all the more
adorable, which he was positive Cloud would love to hear.

Despite himself, Cloud blushed hotly at these words, though he wasn't sure
why there was anything to get excited about. It'd been true from the start
- Zack had had him since the beginning, or so Cloud was convinced. And
Zack was being so deliberate, with telling him he was cute and that tone
of voice of his, that insinuated things of a nature that Cloud was, of
course, disinclined to give further analysis. Maybe.

This was easily the hundredth or so time that he'd been called "cute," and
while Cloud had brushed it off as simple teasing on Zack's part up until
now, it now held a different significance. And he liked it. He'd never let
him know, of course, if his pride meant anything to him. At least not
directly.

Oh, he liked that blush alright, and as much as Zack was a walking talking
flirting expert, he honestly never got that kind of reaction from Cloud
before. And it was funny how after today he could get Cloud to blush and
stay put rather than roll his eyes and playfully shove him away. Must be
that his amazing charm finally worked its way into the other's blond little
noggin finally.

Every time he had said that he really meant it though, and as much as it was
more teasing than anything he was being brutally honest. When Cloud was a
teenager, he did define the word “cute” more than ever, especially with how
reluctant he was to try out anything or act open or whatnot. It was amazing
that no one snatched him up first, but that was probably partly Zack's fault
since he'd staked his “claim” on the other from the beginning. And like
anyone would come between Zack and something he liked, especially when he
was over protective and constantly, behind Cloud's back of course, gave a
look that said “bugger off” if anyone stepped into his territory. He didn't
know if being possessive was a good thing or not, but hey, it worked for
Zack just fine.

If it was at all possible, Zack grinned a bit wider and leaned in to give
Cloud a quick but soft kiss on his lips, then trailed off a little to the
side towards his ear. He really enjoyed making him all fidgety with
embarrassment, and furthering this while pushing his luck again just
heightened the truth towards that statement. “Embarrassed?” It was said like
he was actually expecting a response from Cloud. In the end though, Zack
refused to move from his current position.

"You wish," Cloud said, hating himself for the slight stammer in his voice
and the weakness in his knees, as he was obviously making a valiant effort
to seem brave and not at all affected, though he was failing miserably. As
if being this close to Zack wasn't already doing all sorts of things to
him. And trapped as he was between Zack and the couch, it was impossible
to hide the blush (which, to his mortification, was only intensifying),
like he'd instinctively been doing up until now. It was insane, this
affect that Zack had on him; it'd always been there, though Cloud had been
reluctant to acknowledge it until very recently, and he was finding it
more difficult by the second to resist it.

But this wouldn't do at all. He wasn't a boy anymore, and he'd have to
prove it eventually. Summoning what little courage and determination was
left in him, Cloud pushed Zack back a little, just enough so he could face
him again, and drew him into an almost forceful kiss before he could
change his mind.

It was a little clumsy, but Cloud could learn, and it would show him. Or
distract him, at least.

All talk and no action seemed to make Cloud eager to step it up a notch, and
who was Zack to deny that? It only meant that he was attempting to be brave
in a situation like this, and in all honesty Zack appreciated it a lot. It
just made some mild concern fade away entirely, which was always a good
sign.

Taking a few seconds to smirk within the kiss, Zack pulled Cloud a bit
closer so that from the torso up they where touching, though found himself
resting one hand on Cloud's hip while the other sort of trailed up and down
his spine lightly, grazing him almost barely in an attempt to see what kind
of reaction he'd get out of that.

Meanwhile he felt it was safe to pry open Cloud's lips a little more with
his tongue, not exactly in a forcing way but by means of asking for
entrance. And Cloud was right, he wasn't a boy anymore and definitely had
the right to prove himself of this fact, but there was a part of Zack that
told him even though he wasn't a kid, he still needed to go slower with his
actions than he usually did. Once again, this wasn't about frightening him
by forcing all these new things on him in such a short period of time, but
leading gradually into a more comfortable state of mind, almost to the point
of warning him that taking one step meant you had to take another sooner or
later. Zack sort of had the idea that Cloud didn't mind this at all, but if
it wasn't for being cautious it was all about drawing this out as long as he
could.

Besides, Zack wouldn't be Zack if he didn't tease the blond the entire time.
It was just something that was inevitable.

Cloud shuddered involuntarily at the sensation, which was not so much
unpleasant as it was nothing like anything he'd ever experienced, or had
ever expected to experience. In fact, Cloud was quickly deciding, it
wasn't bad at all.

There were other more pressing issues currently preoccupying Cloud's mind,
however, such the fact that Zack was deepening the kiss, but in such a way
that indicated he'd understand fully if Cloud was unwilling or unready, or
if this was too much, too fast. It was considerate of him, to be this
patient for Cloud, when Cloud knew that Zack, by nature, never enjoyed
waiting too long for anything. Incredibly sweet of him, really, and
something else for Cloud to appreciate.

So in response, Cloud relaxed against Zack, wordlessly assuring his
consent to the other's actions and compliance.

Pleased with the positive response he got, Zack slowly pushed his tongue
into Cloud's mouth, exploring the new area carefully so he could get him
used to it. Zack currently wasn't sure if he was surprised that they were
finally doing this sort of thing with one another, but it wasn't a complete
shock or nearly as dream-like as it once had been for Cloud. Maybe it was
because, in his own mind, he already felt like they had been this close
together already. Sans the kissing of course, but now that he thought about
it, it wasn't so far-fetched at all.

They've slept in the same bed together before, and if he could recall
correctly Cloud, when younger and when he finally got used to being
completely relaxed around Zack, was the type to unconsciously (or
consciously, Zack wasn't totally sure to this day) curl up closer to the
older one in an almost silent demand to have some sort of contact. And of
course Zack didn't say 'no', how could he? As much as Cloud probably denied
it in his youth, he still did it and Zack still claimed Cloud liked it as
much as he did.

And now, yes, they were back at that stage, and it was cute to see Cloud do
the same thing in his sleep without him really knowing about it. Maybe it
was out of habit or something, because it definitely wasn't cold enough to
want to, in the best way to describe it, 'cuddle'. Zack didn't mind a bit,
and probably would never.

Well, now that they were at this new stage of course he wouldn't. In fact,
he would probably demand it nightly and be childish about it too. Though it
also made him wonder if Cloud would be fidgety just a little bit after this,
but had the idea that he wouldn't be in the least.

If it was all possible to pull Cloud closer to him, just for more contact
because it felt nice and he knew Cloud didn't get this close to anyone ever,
Zack did it with such focused intent that he felt himself, after giving
Cloud a good long kiss, nearly unconsciously and experimentally lightly
nibble on his bottom lip.

Regardless of the fact that this had probably been going on for a while
now, though time had really flown in Cloud's perspective, he still had
difficulty getting his mind around how incredibly intimate all of this
was, and how easily it was happening. Perhaps the most distressing part
about it was that he couldn't bring himself to really mind, and that he
was enjoying this a lot more than he probably should have - having the
taste of him in his mouth and feeling the heat of his skin against his
own, with nothing but the barrier of cloth to separate the two. Was this
what he'd been expecting? It didn't matter; he could really get used to
this. Most of all, though, he was grateful that it was his best friend,
and that they'd been close to begin with; had it been anyone else, it
would have been so strange.

They had been close, and seven years of separation had done little
to change this - it was why Cloud hadn't hesitated about sharing the bed,
because it was something he was already familiar with. It was also
something that he'd missed, because it provided the opportunity to be even
closer to Zack than in the everyday, and he couldn't be blamed for his
actions if he was asleep. Of course, he wasn't always entirely deliberate,
but there was still a lot that one could get away with when feigning
innocence. Cloud knew this all too well, but only because he was
particularly good at it, and was rarely suspected of ulterior motives.
Though Zack had been catching on more frequently as of late, it seemed.

It was better now, because he didn't have to be so covert about it. He'd
look forward to it.

Speaking of beds, Cloud wondered vaguely what time of day it might
possibly be. Finding out wasn't exactly at the top of his priorities,
considering he was occupied with contemplating whether or not he should
interrupt Zack's ministrations with another kiss, but he was still mildly
curious.

And it was true that Cloud continually, before all this that is, tried to
play innocent and pretend that it was all in Zack's head if he was actually
teasing and flirting back with him. It was long ago said that Cloud really
wasn't capable of flirting, so of course Zack shook his head and told
himself to stop reading into things. Then when Cloud came into the city,
considerably older and less naïve in a sense, Zack caught on quicker than
the blond probably thought possible. But Zack was good at hiding these facts
too. Big mouthed and talky as he was he never seemed to be opt towards
talking about what he knew and what he didn't know, so playing clueless was
his way of letting things slide and musing others, Cloud especially.

But at times he did become a scatter-brain and totally let whatever
important thing or opportunity just pass him by on accident, though that was
just one more thing about Zack that made him Zack and not anyone else.

And as much as Cloud might've thought he was being rather nonchalant about
his curiosity towards the time, Zack didn't know exactly what it was of
course but he could tell he was a wee bit distracted. Doing this sort of
thing numerous times told him when to stop and when to go, so he paused and
let go of getting a good taste of Cloud's lips before shifting to look into
azure eyes with violet ones of his own, an amused look crossing his face in
the process. “Somethin' wrong?” No concern really, just curiosity and mild
amusement was noted in his features as well as the tiny smirk on his face.

---

It hadn't always been deliberate on Cloud's part. In fact, it had been
unconscious more than anything; nothing more than the sort of friendly,
meaningless teasing that all best friends were typically inclined to do.
Nothing serious, or so Cloud had been convinced. Particularly around Zack,
who was comfortable with anything. But apparently, it'd been more than
that.

And it seemed that Cloud had yet to grow out of his distinct lack of basic
observational skills. Zack hadn't been the only one to overlook things
that might have been obvious. Old habits die hard.

As for how distracted he had suddenly become, Cloud wasn't certain as to
what had come over him, but it was likely owed to the fact that nothing
really made sense to him at the moment, and that he was feeling distinctly
insane, though in the most inexplicably pleasant way possible - so he'd
needed a little reality check, to confirm for the thousandth time that
this wasn't all in his head, because he wouldn't put it past himself to
dream all of this up.

And was something wrong? Far from it; the complete opposite. So Cloud
shook his head, feeling a little bereft at the loss of contact. He
promptly righted this by initiating another kiss, somewhat less
tentatively than the first. In retrospect, he might have been surprised at
his own boldness, but the circumstances were different. And Cloud simply
happened to be a fast learner.

The boldness was a little strange to Zack, but then again Cloud wasn't one
to have this sort of contact, so he completely understood why he wanted to
continue. And Zack? Well, Zack wasn't one to deny Cloud anything, and
if he wanted more then there was no reason to hold back. Besides, he was
curious what would happen if he went further with his actions, but Zack was
a curious person at heart. Though he's never done this with Cloud of all
people before, so of course this heightened his curiosity even more; the
blond was usually the one to be shy and withdrawn, and as incredibly sexy as
it was that Cloud was initiating so much, Zack enjoyed watching him blush
and be embarrassed even more. Maybe that was horrible of him to say, but he
could care less at the moment.

So he continued the kiss with more force than before, a hand pressing the
small of Cloud's back to draw them a bit closer, but left room in between
them this time, for Zack's other hand had another destination in which it
wanted to reach.

Without second thought said hand snaked its way from holding onto Cloud's
waist and up his side, circling it once up and then back down again only to
lightly brush against his hipbone. He paused for but a second before fingers
felt around the bottom of the blond's shirt, slipping his hand underneath it
to roam around his stomach.

Cloud undoubtedly had smooth skin, smoother skin than he should've for being
in so many battles, but Zack kind of had the thought that it wouldn't change
a bit despite that. But he went a bit further up, feeling the firm but also
quite soft muscle and skin of his upper abdomen; he found himself idly
wondering faintly in the back of his mind if his entire body consisted of
this same texture. He'd find out sooner or later, so best to just tease him
a little bit more, since making things painfully slow was his specialty
after all.

Cloud probably should have seen it coming, especially because he was
wearing an incredibly loose and oversized shirt - one of Zack's -
which made access to his skin so much easier. He also knew Zack for the
reckless, impulsive person that he was, and his tendency to do things just
to see the outcome. Nonetheless, it came unexpectedly for him, causing him
to tense reflexively with sharp intake of breath, eyes widening. He was
growing more painfully aware by the second that the blush infusing his
features had yet to diminish, and was in fact intensifying, with Zack to
blame.

He concentrated on making a valiant effort to relax, because he was
confident that Zack knew what he was doing. He should have, considering
Cloud had no doubts that he was considerably experienced in all of this -
a thought that made Cloud want to blush even harder, if it were at all
possible. And because of it, he trusted him, and this made everything a
lot easier than it might have been. Still, it was so strange, being
touched this way, and it was difficult not to tremble a little beneath it.
Cloud wasn't proud of it, but he was still very shy by nature, and even
more so with Zack - not because he was uncomfortable with him, but because
he wanted to please him.

Zack was enjoying the response he got out of Cloud and, before really
thinking about it because he reminded himself that Cloud would tell him to
stop if he didn't like it, moved from the blond's lips and trailed his own
down towards his jawline, then further down to come upon his neck. Zack
stopped there though for a second, allowing his hand that was currently
exploring Cloud's stomach to move a bit farther up, back down half-way and
then up again before placing a small a gentle kiss in the crook of his neck.

It was amazing how Zack really didn't find this to be too much of a shock.
Yes, he was pretty enthralled once Cloud kissed him back and all his worries
seemed to finally disappear, but now he gained back all the confidence he
somehow tucked away until later. But he continued to remind himself that if
Cloud tensed on such light, more suggestive contact that he could possibly
freak out if Zack didn't take the little baby steps that he was completely
sure he would take no matter what.

But he wouldn't worry about that too much right now, because the next moment
he flicked his tongue out on the spot between the end of Cloud's neck and
the beginning of his shoulder, allowing his teeth to lightly nip at soft
skin before latching his mouth around the now pinkish tint of skin. He
continued this until he moved a little bit further with this by means of
sucking on the skin, hoping to make a mark after he was through and
satisfied enough.

"Ahh-"

It was all Cloud could do to suppress the need to cry out loud; biting his
lip was effective to some extent, but it was impossible not to let a gasp
or two slip every now and then, which was too often. Was it possible to
feel too much? His breath now came in short gasps and the heat was almost
too much for him to bear, but most of all, he ached for something he
couldn't fathom, leaving him yearning inexplicably and more confused than
ever.

It was going to bruise, and he knew it. The wicked look on his face told
Cloud as much. Cloud couldn't help but feel like it was Zack's means of
marking his territory.

And marking his territory he was; Zack wasn't one to share, especially when
it came to Cloud. Making it known to not only the public but to the blond
himself, he had a certain duty he had to perform in order to make this
perfectly clear. Of course, it didn't need to be said or done, but Zack felt
it necessary to do so. Plus, he had to admit to himself that Cloud's neck
had a certain appeal to it. It was such a delicate spot without meaning to
be, and it only made Zack all the more happy that he moved there because he
was graced with such a sound from Cloud that it nearly made him shiver. The
guy probably didn't know how much it effected Zack, and maybe that was a
good thing in the end.

He continued for a minute or so before unlatching himself from Cloud's neck,
pleased to see the now deep crimson mark on the other's body.

Grinning a little with a small hint of a smirk in there as well, Zack moved
his head back up before placing a gentle, quick but firm kiss on Cloud's
lips, making their noses touch lightly as he stared at him with a look in
his eyes that clearly said that he was extremely pleased. Plus that deep red
blush that spread across Cloud's cheeks was absolutely adorable.

A moment's thought brought him to wonder how far Cloud wanted to go. Zack
had no objectives towards anything of course, but with Cloud he had to be
extra careful in his decision making. The blond wanted to please him, this
much is true, but Zack didn't want just that; he wanted Cloud to do
these sorts of things because he wanted to do them too. Zack was
blessed enough as it was to have such a devoted friend and now something
more, and he deserved so much and all Zack now had to offer, besides the
house surrounding them, was love. Willingly, openly, absolutely anything
Cloud wanted and he'd try to grant his wish. He wondered at that moment if
it was just him being, well, himself, and opted towards that answer than
anything more.

Cloud's happiness was Zack's happiness. He realized this the moment they
became friends, and as long as Cloud was enjoying himself, no matter how
slow he had to go and no matter how much he wanted to press forward quickly,
he'd do it at the blond's pace.

Zack smiled more tenderly and kissed the small spot between Cloud's eyes in
muted affection, then pulled back a little but only to pull Cloud into a
firm hug. He shifted his face though and spoke in the other's ear in little
less than a murmur. “How far, Cloud?” Fingers somewhat soothingly ran up and
down his back, wanting – no, needing to ask such a question. It
wasn't usually in his nature to ask, but he was only being considerate of
Cloud's feelings.

As vague as these words were and as clueless as Cloud might typically be,
it didn't take a genius to figure out what Zack was talking about.

The first thing that crossed Cloud's mind was pure, unadulterated surprise
on Cloud's part. Just short of an hour ago, the mere prospect of sex
hadn't even come close to crossing his mind, and here they were, on the
verge of engaging in the act, or so it seemed.

The second thing was that this was going so quickly, but at the same time,
not nearly quick enough. They were compensating for seven year's worth of
waiting, and it didn't make sense to continue dragging it out. Then again,
Cloud, by nature, needed constant pushing to get anything done; he'd
depended on it thus far, and this situation wasn't any different. It was
inherent in Cloud to always have misgivings, whether or not he had any
real reason to justify it. And realizing that Zack understood this touched
Cloud, because he knew Zack wouldn't be asking otherwise.

Zack had once said that sex changed everything, and Cloud had agreed that
there was more or less some degree of truth in what he'd said, though he'd
never given it any serious thought. Understandably, considering Cloud
would never have guessed that it'd apply to him so soon. Now, though, he
knew just what he'd meant. He could still remember when Zack had told him
that - he'd expressed his utter distaste for the prospect of the two of
them even thinking about ever going through with it, much to what Cloud
had assumed was Zack's feigned disappointment. It'd been nothing more than
teasing, as usual, and there had been no sincerity on Cloud's part.
Apparently, the same applied to Zack, otherwise they wouldn't be in the
situation they were currently in. It was almost too ironic.

But would it really change so much? Cloud's understanding was that it
could only bring them closer, which he considered a good thing. And part
of him knew that he was ready for this, and that it was about time. Why
hesitate? He knew he wanted it, and more than anything else - to become
one with him, and not in the false sense that he'd been trying to achieve
for the latter half of his life. And what better person than Zack? His
best friend, who he'd depended on and who had sacrificed everything for
him, to whom he'd entrusted his heart and devoted a love he'd long since
given up understanding. And who, best of all, loved him back, and had no
inhibitions when it came to showing it. It almost unreal to Cloud, how
amazingly privileged he was to have him, and it made him all the more
possessive of him. So if it meant getting even closer to him and further
strengthening their bond, then yes, and a thousand times yes.

But that didn't answer the question.

He returned the embrace in full, taking comfort in the warmth that Zack
offered and feeling that there wasn't any other place he'd rather be, but
that was aside the point at the moment. "As far as you can take me, Zack."

There was a moment when all Zack could do was smile. Cloud's consent towards
his suggestive questioning was comforting, especially since he had so many
doubts when it came to pushing this sort of topic. Because for Zack, yes,
he's had sex many times. It was nothing emotional though, never was and
never would be, just a form of release and sometimes even just for something
to do. Beneath it all Zack was just a typical guy, or so he thought. He just
had more respect for people and didn't like taking advantage of others,
especially when they were so willing. And yes, he's done this sort of thing
on a whim, planned, whatever else there could be, but it was a common goal
right off the start, so he didn't really have to ask or be so cautious and
move so slowly.

But with Cloud, he needed to do these things. And to be completely honest,
he didn't mind one bit. It was a change of pace, that's for sure, but a nice
one, especially when it had to do with the person he cared most about. There
was no messing around with Cloud just because he wanted to have sex, and as
cheesy as it might seem (once again and it'll always be said – Zack didn't
give a damn, because he was a cheesy person and that and that) he wasn't
going to “have sex” with Cloud, he was going to make love to him.

Zack's never had the honor of doing that of course, nor ever engaged in the
act of taking away someone's virginity. He never wanted that, because as
much as Zack had slept around when he was younger he always wanted to
wait for someone to come along so he could mark them as his. Make it known
that they were Zack's and only Zack's, because he was a selfish person but
also loyal. If he made a promise and said “I love you”, he kept to that. The
only other person he's said that to was Aerith, but after a while the two of
them noticed it was more of a very, very close bond of friendship that tied
them together. It was sort of like the two of them were siblings, believe it
or not, but Zack also had that gnawing in the pit of his stomach in some
sort of guilt, because he knew after a while that he longed for someone
else.

It wasn't surprising that the flower girl took it quite well. It was almost
as if she knew telepathically the whole time Zack was away. In fact, she
encouraged it, but mainly for the fact that they loved one another – not in
the way that Zack loved Cloud of course, because he didn't just love him, he
was in love with Cloud. That was just the way it went. Zack went with
the flow, and now here he was on a couch in the living room they both
shared, surrounded by many things that already had so many memories attached
to it.

Cloud said he didn't want to wake up from this dream if it were a dream.
Zack had to agree whole heartedly.

And as much as he wanted to think on this some more, he instead pulled back
a little but kept one arm around Cloud's upper back before shifting quickly
to push the other behind his knees. Zack flashed a grin almost childishly
before picking Cloud up bridal-style, humming something rather cheerfully
before moving towards their bedroom.

Because really, this seriousness couldn't last that long of course. Zack
would just have to save it for another time, because right now all he could
do was grin widely and stare straight ahead with his head high in an almost
proud fashion.