log; complete

[mother-rem.livejournal.com]

When; Now [Thursday, August 16]
Rating; PG
Characters; Vash [mildlyreckless] and Rem Saverem [mother_rem]
Summary; After Rem's return message, Vash goes to her apartment to check on her.
Log;


It took a lot of restraint for Vash not to simply tear out of his apartment and burst into Rem's. But despite his eagerness to see her and make sure she was really back, part of him was almost afraid of her. Well, not really of her... More of how she was handling things. What would he even say to her?

As he headed for the door, the largish cat who had been calling his apartment home during Rem's absence caught his eye.

"Come on, King Henry," he murmured, scooping the cat up. "Your mom's back."

The cat eyed him with a blatant sense of apathy as Vash toted him down the hall and knocked gently on the door.

At the sound of the knock, the raven-haired woman blinked tiredly, looking over her shoulder in the direction of the door. Rem stared at it with a blank look in her eyes, unsure what to do.

The last few weeks had been a complete blur, suddenly being taken back to the SEED ship and then... and now she was back here. But something was different, even if she couldn't quite put a finger on it.

All she knew at the moment was she was cold and tired and someone was at her door. "...Hello?"


"...It's Vash, Rem," Vash called gently, "I've got your cat."
If anything he was thankful for a conversation starter... He wasn't sure what he'd say otherwise. What do you say to someone who'd come back from being killed by someone you viewed as a son?

"Can I come in?"

"..Of course.." Rem smiled a little, glad that the cat had been taken care of. But she could tell something was wrong. Just..what was it? She could hear it in his voice.

It took some effort, but she got to her feet, dusting her pants off. If anything, it had been nice seeing the twins as boys again, even if it was brief and she didn't know what was going on at the time.

Vash smiled kindly as the door opened and held King Henry aloft almost proudly.

"He's become good friends with Sasha," he announced. "We're probably going to have to arrange play-dates for the two of them now."

Vash paused for a second, taking a good look at Rem's eyes. ...Something was off, alright.

"...I think he missed you, though!"

Rem scritched under the cat's chin, smiling more hearing the pur. "...Seems like it. I didn't mean to leave so suddenly.... Thanks for taking care of him, Vash. I hope he wasn't too much trouble for you." She knew how King Henry could be sometimes..

"Don't worry about it," Vash said, putting the cat on the floor. He really wanted to hug Rem, but... Part of him felt like it would be almost inappropriate to do so. So he settled for tentatively squeezing her shoulder instead.

"I'm glad you're back," he said, trying to ignore the fact that he felt no warmth from her. Even through her shirt and his glove, there should have been something. She'd lived out the rest of her life, then. Vash bit his lip. He couldn't break down in front of her. Not now.

"I'm glad too.." She glanced at his hand absently, then smiled up at him, though she could tell something was really wrong. Not even thinking about it twice, she put her hand over his. "..What's wrong?"

"...I just missed you," Vash lied. "A lot of stuff happened while you were gone."

Now that last part wasn't a lie. The very day he'd noticed that she was gone, it seemed like the place had gone to hell. There had been one good thing, though...

"Here," he said, taking her hand and putting her fingers to the pulse in his throat. "Look, I got a present from Wolfwood while you were gone."

He was lying. Vash was lying and Rem knew it, but it must be for a reason. He was always like that in the City, so she decided the best thing she could do was to trust him.

Blinking, she let him move her hand and felt the pulse, then smiled. "...That's wonderful, Vash!" She was excited for him, until the repercussions came into her mind. Did Wolfwood have to give something up? And...what about Knives? He'd explained the situation to her before. Now she was worried. But she kept smiling.

"Yeah!" Vash said with a grin. It was hard to be completely happy about having his life back... After all, it felt so much like he'd abandoned Knives that way. But Wolfwood had risked a lot to get it back for him, so he wasn't about to act ungrateful. "It's pretty exciting!"

He paused for a few seconds. He had to ask.

"...How are you?"

"It sounds like it!" she nodded. When he asked, she just watched him. "...Mm..I'm just a bit tired, is all." Now she was the one lying. It took a moment for her to remember and pull her hand from his neck.

For now, she merely watched him, her head tilted up. "....." He really was tall. It was different from just a few hours ago when she was telling a small boy to stay in the escape pod. "..You're allright too?"

Vash looked at her in silence and suddenly felt like he was watching her from a distance. Even though he'd become fairly used to having her around in the City, the fact remained that over a hundred and fifty years ago, she'd...

"...I've been fine, Rem," he practically choked out. He was acting ridiculous. "Just...sort of...tired too. Things have been sort of crazy around here. Heh. Can I make you anything to eat? I think I've got some roast leftover from the other night! Do you have any food over here? I'd be happy to bring you some!"

Rem blinked slowly at that. That...was a very sudden change in mood, even for Vash. But now that he mentioned it, she was feeling a bit hungry..

"I think there's still some food in the kitchen. But, if you really want to then sure..." She felt a little guilty, Vash cooking when she could very well do it herself, but he seemed to really want to.

Moving over, she took a seat at the table. Things were starting to become more clear now, like she was waking up from a long sleep and the grogginess was wearing off. She felt cold. But Vash's skin was warm. There was something odd about that.

Vash watched Rem with a slight frown, but forced himself to recover and went into the kitchen to see what she had. ...Not much. But he could make a sandwich or...something.

An awkward silence hung in the apartment for several minutes. Vash just honestly couldn't think of anything to say. Really, it was just nice to have her around. But he still felt like he should say something. Anything.

"...I'm..."

...So much for that.

"...Hm?" Rem glanced at him from the table. She was trying to think, trying to figure this out. Why it was so different from before? Things were slowly starting to piece together in her mind. The memories of the last few hours were so rushed, but it was starting to come back now.

"..Vash, are you really sure you're allright?" Worried mother was worried.

Vash shook his head quickly, as if trying to clear it, then turned and set a plate on the table in front of Rem with a hollow smile.

"I'm sure," he said, taking a seat next to her. "I've just been thinking too much and not sleeping enough."

"...You should probably do something about that." u_u Had she not been in thought, Rem probably would have had some witty joke to go along with it, but now... It just didn't feel like the right time.

No, now was the time for feasting! She put on that familiar smile, "Thanks." And began to omnom on that sandwich.

Vash nodded and watched Rem in silence as she ate. He had a lot of questions, but no way of asking any of them.
King Henry saved him a lot of trouble for the moment by jumping up on the table and sprawling out right in front of him.

"...That can't be sanitary," Vash murmured, stroking the cat gently.

"...Probably not. But I don't bother much anymore." She sighed, pausing in her eating to watch King Henry make himself at home on the table.

"I'm jealous. He doesn't seem too worried about anything."

Vash looked at Rem and felt his mouth twitch a little.

"...Yeah. I get jealous of Sasha too. ...Though she worries a lot every time we turn on the shower and flush the toilet, so..."

She couldn't help but laugh a little. "Maybe she's afraid of the water?" Okay now to finish omnoming that sandwich while she could still. +_+;

"No, I think she's afraid of the noise," Vash corrected. "She actually likes the water. She licks it off the tub and shower walls after someone takes a shower. It's weird. She's also tried to drink out of Doitzel's bowl. She doesn't like to be wet, of course, but she just likes to drink it."

Vash tapped King Henry's nose and got a very filthy look.

"...Don't look at me like that, cat. I let you live in my home and convinced Wolfwood you weren't going to eat Sasha or something!"
He glanced over at Rem, hoping his rambling had given her enough time to finish eating. For some reason he wanted to hug her even more now than before.

She was actually finishing her last bite when he looked over. His rambling was a nice distraction from her issue at hand at least. "I don't think King Henry would hurt anyone. He just likes to get in the way." And thus, she gave the cat a fake-annoyed glare before she laughed some.

Vash smiled a little at the sound of Rem's laughter and gave the cat a mock pout.

"Yeah, he's really good at that," he remarked, standing up and taking Rem's plate to the sink. "He really likes it right in front of the fridge and the bathroom door, doesn't he?"

He paused for a second, staring into the sink.

"...How long were you..."

He couldn't do it. He clenched his jaw. It was still too hard. Instead he went back over to Rem and wrapped her in a hug. Screw talking about it for now.

"How long was I wha--" Surprise hug! Rem was caught off guard, not that she had any problem with it. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him to hug back.

....That's right. It all caught up to her now; she remembered. It all came back in a rush. Closing her eyes, Rem hugged him tighter.

"...I'm sorry, Rem," Vash whispered sincerely, holding her close and hoping to God he was keeping her warm. He couldn't even pick a starting point on the list of things he was sorry for. It was just all so messed-up. A century and a half hadn't changed that fact. And this City certainly did nothing to help either. And absolutely nothing altered the reality that just about everything he did stemmed from the influence of the human woman he was holding in his arms.
...His mother.

"I.." She had to swallow hard, her brows knotting as she spoke. "..I tried t-to save as many of them as I c-could.." She knew now there wasn't anything else she could have done. When she was back there, she didn't remember anything about the City or what had happened here, but somewhere in the back of her mind the entire time, she knew something was going to happen.

"It was all I could do.. I-i'm sorry, Vash.." What she was apologizing for, Rem had no idea. Maybe she was sorry for not surviving. Or, that they'd found out the truth and that entire mess had happened in the first place? Who knew. But she knew if it hadn't happened, Vash wouldn't have grown to the person he was now.

Vash slammed his eyes shut and buried his face in Rem's shoulder as he was slammed by a wave of memories of the last time he saw her.

"It's... You saved a lot of them, Rem," he managed. "And I watched over them the best I could. I never forgot what you told me, or what you did for them."

Thousands of faces flashed through his mind and he clenched Rem's shirt in his fists.

"They went on living, and it's thanks to you. You shouldn't be sorry. I should be thanking you. And I am thankful."

"I...I'm glad." Don't cry don't cry don't cry. She clutched at his coat, trying to fight off the tears. It was taking everything in her for the woman not to break down completely; her body was shaking in his embrace.

"I just..I wanted you two to be okay, more than anything. And I wanted Conrad and everyone else to be okay too." Rem wiped her face against his shoulder. "...I'm glad you all were okay," she managed to whisper.

Vash released his death grip on Rem's shirt and gently rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her.

"We were," he said quietly. "And we still are. They still are. They're back home, still living on and making it the best they can. Which is really good, Rem! They've learned and I really think things will get better for them!"

He leaned back a little to look at Rem's face and smiled tearfully, but sincerely.

"You saved them and made it possible."

Rem looked like a complete mess, her face contorted trying not to burst into tears. But when she saw his smile, she couldn't help but smile back.

"...Th-that's what matters.." It's what she had hoped for, that they would learn to live easily with Plants without exploiting them. And it seemed to have happened. If it took her dying, then perhaps it was for the best. She closed her eyes, wiping her cheeks with the palm of her hand. "It all turned out o-okay.."

Vash smiled again, sadder this time, then kissed Rem's forehead and pulled her back into a hug.

"...It's okay to cry sometimes, Rem," he whispered, tears running down his own cheeks.

Being pulled into another hug, this time Rem just slumped against him, burying her face into his chest. "...I know," she whispered back. It was just so hard, realizing one was dead and all.

"...Thank you, Vash."

Vash looked down at Rem in surprise at her words, then let his eyes close and held her close.

"...This is all I can do," he murmured. It never felt like enough, no matter what he did, but he kept on doing whatever he could. He never once stopped doing, and that was the one thing he felt like he could be proud of when looking back on his life, which had been too long for any mortal, but barely a blink in the face of eternity. He'd seen, he'd felt, he'd lived. And through it all, he knew that he owed his backbone and motivation to the one who had raised him.

"I love you, Rem."

His words were more than a surprise. She'd only heard them from one other person in her life, and he had died before her. Still, it was...nice being told that. She just smiled as best she could.

"...I love you too, Vash. I'm...sorry. I just got really tired all of a sudden.." Her voice became more of a mumble as she spoke, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I think I need to lay down.."

Vash frowned. Of course. He remembered how exhausting it was being dead, especially at first. He nodded slightly and then scooped Rem up in his arms, not giving her the chance to protest, and carried her to her bedroom.

"...Electric blankets will help keep you warm," he said quietly. "I have a couple of spares, so I'll bring you one."

She only nodded as he carried her, nuzzling against him. This was an odd paradox -- just a few weeks ago, it was the other way around, she was the warm one. It was an odd switching of roles.

"Thank you.."

Vash smiled and gently placed Rem on the bed, kneeling down on the floor next to the bed and scooping King Henry up off of the floor, half-tossing him onto the bed next to her.

"Here," he said with a smile, "He can make himself useful. Cats make good space-heaters."

Vash paused and took a good look at Rem, as if re-memorizing how she looked. Finally he reached out with his real hand and squeezed her hand as he rose to his feet.

"I'll let you sleep," he said quietly. "Sweet dreams."