[Complete] Sakurazukamori!Subaru's arrival.

[fateisabitch.livejournal.com]

When; Morning of August 4th, 2006.
Rating; PG
Characters; Sakurazukamori!Subaru, Kamui
Summary; Kamui finds a wet-rat-Subaru and takes him home. Angst ensues.
Log;

Kamui still, still didn't like the vibe of this city, and he wondered if he ever would. Kinda hoped so, since, so far, he'd only been brave enough to venture outside with the younger Subaru he'd found here, and, well... he didn't want to trouble him forever. Even if the young Onmyouji escorting him around WAS the boy's idea (since he quickly figured out Kamui could be... reckless, when his emotions took over). What was even worse, though, was that Subaru and Hokuto had, more or less, been taking care of him: paying for his food, clothes, etc. He had to find a way to pay them back now. Finding a way to support himself would be good, as well.

Thus, Kamui found himself deciding to go find a job of some sort, which, of course, required him to go out into the city alone. He'd actually climbed out the window too, since he wasn't sure if Subaru had put some sort of spell on his door to alert him to Kamui trying to leave alone. But, whatever. He was on the first floor. Didn't matter. What mattered is now he was kinda freaking out because he'd A. gotten lost, and B. found himself in crowds of weird, taller people. "Damn it..." he cursed to himself, wishing he'd brought Subaru along, after all. As luck would have it, though, just as he thought of Subaru, he looked over to the city's strange fountain and noticed someone in there. Someone who looked oddly like his Subaru, but dressed all in black and looking much like a wet rat. "Su-Subaru...?" he asked as he approached said rat, eyes wide and hopeful.

When Subaru had first set out to find Kamui, he hadn't realized that he was going to need to leave Japan. He couldn't believe that the Messiah had truly given up on Japan, and thus, the entire world. Subaru was aware that Kamui was probably upset that Subaru had chosen to no longer be a Ten no Ryuu, but he highly doubted that he had already figured out that Subaru had...switched sides.

Subaru himself had been rather ashamed at first, but he now had a new purpose. And it was a purpose he would carry out until the Chi no Ryuu succeeded, when he would finally be allowed to die along with the rest of humanity.

The onmyoujutsu he had needed to call upon to track down Kamui after a week of failure had been exceedingly powerful, and left him dazed and confused when he finally woke up....only to make him wonder if he had knocked himself unconscious in the process. After floundering to climb out of the water, he stopped short, water trickling from his hair down his cheeks as his head remained lowered. The water stung his eyes, but he couldn't close them. He saw himself in the water's reflection, but it was not his current self.

The sudden memories that jolted through him caused him to shudder, and he was forced to look up sharply when he heard a familiar voice. When his mismatched gaze settled on Kamui, his expression twisted from horror back to confusion. Was this a dream, or had he really found him?

"...Kamui-san...?"

Kamui... san...? That made Kamui falter a bit. Subaru... had never used an honorific with him before. But... but... the fact that he recognized him could only mean that it WAS his Subaru, and that thought alone was enough to make his mind fuzz over with joy. Fuzz over enough, in fact, that he didn't even notice the amber eye the other now had. "SUBARU!" He practically launched himself at the other man, so happy to see him that he forget his usual discomfort with being the one initiating physical contact. "Oh, Subaru... I missed you so much! I've been so worried! Are you..." He pulled back, finally noticing the eye, looking rather... horrified. He knew who's eye that way. He just knew. "Your... eye..."

Kamui's sudden launch was startling enough to keep Subaru still. True, he hadn't really intended to start taking off at a jog anytime soon, but he almost stopped breathing from the shock of it.

He had finally opened his mouth to tell Kamui that he was getting him all wet when the teenager finally pulled away and looked up. The expression that greeted Subaru caused his own to soften in sorrow.

That was when he chose to step away as well, moving out of the fountain and making a clear point not to look into it. Instead he kept his unsettling gaze firmly on Kamui. He would have looked rather dignified if he wasn't dripping wet. "..../Kamui/ sent me to check up on you, because he could no longer sense you. I'm not here to harm you." There really was no reason to elaborate on what he meant. He knew Kamui wasn't stupid. He would figure it out, surely.

Kamui looked down. "I... I'm not going back. I was told that I could find a way here to both save Fuuma and stop the end of the world." He suddenly froze. Wait. Subaru had just said Fuuma had sent him, right? Why... why would Fuuma have any interest in Subaru if he had left the war? It didn't make sense. "You said... Fuuma sent you? Why... why would you do that for him?" It was obvious Kamui hadn't known of Subaru's new position. All he knew was that Subaru had evidently left the Ten no Ryuu and disappeared. To find him again with that bastard's eye, and saying he was doing something Fuuma asked of him, it... "Subaru, why?" He grabbed his now-wet shirt over his heart, looking up to the other.

Subaru visibly stiffened. He should have known that he would have to answer questions... He had just been in such a daze after joining Fuuma's side that he had only been indulging in the thoughts of replacing Seishirou and then finally being allowed to die.

Now he had to face Kamui, and in turn, face his old life. And he knew very well that at the very least, Kamui deserved an explanation.

"...I will tell you, but..." He finally let himself glance around. This city didn't seem like a city of Japan...and the people were bizarre. All very differently dressed. Where were they? Italy or something?

"...Not here." Not in public, and not when Subaru did indeed look like a drowned rat.

Kamui nodded slightly. "I have... an apartment to myself. Would that be okay?" Even if Subaru had changed as Kamui had a hunch he had, he was still Subaru; thus, he still cared deeply for him and would try to help and take care of him as best he could. And part of that involved trying to make sure Subaru didn't catch a cold from being soaked in the middle of a strange city. "We can at least try to get you dried off there."

After contemplating over Kamui's offer for a moment, Subaru stepped forward in order to follow him if he was going to lead. "You owe me nothing, Kamui-san. It just wouldn't be in our best interests to discuss something of this nature in the middle of a public...square. I don't care where you take me."

At least that was what it appeared to be. Kamui had an apartment here? Just how long had he been here? Subaru really had to wonder where they were at now.

The use of the honorific, and the way the other was speaking so formally to him visibly hurt Kamui. Cut him deeply. But... he had a feeling that the pain he was feeling in his chest was about to get a lot worse once they were out of public sight. "Okay, Subaru." He turned both to start walking and hide the still-hurt look on his face.

After weaving through the crowd of strangers, they finally arrived at Kamui's apartment building. "Um... we'll have to be careful," Kamui said softly as they entered the building. As they started approaching his door, the young Seal started looking a little paranoid, but calmed when he realized certain someones weren't around. "I wonder if he went to find me..." he pondered to himself, quietly. After unlocking his door, he was greeted by random things of food on his coffee table. Obviously, Hokuto had broken in again to feed him. "This... is it. Um." He closed the door behind the other and fidgeted. "It's not much, really. I've only been here a few weeks."

The young man was sure to take in his surroundings as he followed after Subaru, absorbing the random conversations he overheard along the way and all of the buildings he saw.

It was as if the city was dripping with death and bouncing with life at the very same time.

Once inside, Subaru bowed his head before he knelt down to remove his shoes at the door. His socks were wet as well, but it was better than tracking in any mud he might have picked up along the way.

"It is adequate." He wanted to ask WHY Kamui was living here. Was he trying to escape his fate? Still, he didn't ask, because he understood that he had no right to ask. Instead he just stood awkwardly in the doorway, waiting for some kind of instruction or a more to-the-point question.

"Um..." Why was this so awkward? "Please, sit." He pointed at his couch. That, two chairs, and a coffee table were all he had in this room. They'd come with the apartment, and couldn't afford anything else. But... that was okay. The twins provided him with entertainment when the ticking in his head got to be too much. "Do you want anything to drink or eat? Hokuto keeps bringing stuff over, so I sort of... have more than I could eat or drink alone." Pleasantries first, then he'd start asking the hard-hitting questions.

Subaru did step in to avoid looking like some stalker, but really he supposed he almost counted as one. After all, he'd used onmyoujutsu to track down the boy...apparently across the world or something, from the looks of it?

Although it was strange how he could understand everybody. He knew quite well Japanese was not a universal language.

"No, I would rather not dampen your furni--...." He caught himself mid sentence and lifted his head after running his fingers through his hair. With his bangs out of his eyes, his emerald and amber gaze now focused on Kamui with a clashing combination of a piercing and also disoriented nature.

"Hoku...to...?"

Oh. Whoops. Kamui totally hadn't thought about how Subaru would react to Hokuto being here. He didn't mean to let the fact she was slip out, either. Not that the other wouldn't have figured it out eventually. "Y-yeah. Hokuto lives across the hall. Along with..." Now he ESPECIALLY didn't know what to expect from Subaru knowing that his younger self was here, but... that was another thing he would have figured out on his own too. "She lives with your younger, sixteen year old self." Looking to the food on the table, he added, "They've been taking care of me since I got here."

Suddenly, Subaru decided that he really no longer minded dampening Kamui's furniture, and helped himself to a seat before his legs could give out beneath him. He didn't even bother trying to discard his long coat, which still clung to him.

"Pardon?"

Hokuto lived across the hall? And...what? His younger self? What? No no no. This wasn't Italy or any other country. Somehow while trying to find Kamui he had...messed up. He hadn't been fit, and it had backfired somehow. Maybe he had dived into his own mind?

That might make sense. Here was Kamui, and if his younger self and Hokuto resided here... Yes, this made sense. He had somehow gone catatonic again. Really, he didn't want to be, considering his previous catatonic state had caused his sister to get killed, but here he was, trapped inside his own mind again.

Subaru answered his own vague question with a rather deranged smile directed at Kamui.

"Ah. I see."

That smile... it didn't look... normal. "Subaru, are you okay?" Shit. He'd really messed up in telling him all that, hadn't he? He... he'd better fix it. Or at least try to. "It... it's not that odd, really. Not in this place. I mean, from what I've learned, it's..." Ugh. He didn't know how to explain it properly, seeing as even he wasn't sure what the hell was up with this city. "This place seems to be a crossroad between worlds and times or something. I've met others who've never heard of our Tokyo, and others who've already faced their apocalypse, and..." He was failing. Damn it.

He was no longer looking at Kamui by now, and was instead looking towards a nearby window. The smile had quickly vacated his face, and now he looked more thoughtful than anything.

"I see," he murmured again. There really wasn't any use in trying to figure things out here. He hadn't actually found Kamui. This was just Kamui in his head or something. Why did he have to torture himself like this? As much as he knew he deserved it, this was not part of the plan.

And he was still cold and wet. That wasn't part of the plan, either. If this was in his mind, then he ought to at least control that much. Or maybe he was too far gone? Who knew...

"Subaru!" Kamui yelled, placing his thin hands on the older man's shoulders and shaking him lightly. There... there was something wrong with Subaru right now. He could tell. "Damn it, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have told you that, but I figured you'd find out eventually, and..." He wanted to cry. He'd finally found Subaru, and the first thing he did was hurt him. He... he never wanted to do that. Ever. He wasn't like him.

Subaru's gaze found it's way back to Kamui, startled out of his daze by the teenage messiah's desperate cry, and he could hardly ignore this type of pleading...fake or real.

"Don't apologize." This didn't seem correct. Why would Kamui be apologizing to him? He had done nothing wrong. Subaru would never interpret him as having done something wrong in his own mind. This Kamui seemed so real, even if the reality didn't.

He thought that perhaps, instead of being in his own mind, perhaps this was Hell. No, Subaru was not Christian in the slightest. But after everything he had seen, he knew that sometimes things didn't make sense. But...even as senseless as Hell would be, it would be entirely too senseless for Kamui to be there as well.

One damp, gloved hand settled over one of Kamui's own, pulling it from his shoulder to squeeze gently. "...Please elaborate on what you said earlier, if you don't mind."

Gloved hands. This was also new. Subaru... he couldn't ever remember his Subaru wearing gloves. Jesus, what had happened to him in the months he'd been gone? "I really... don't know much. All I know is that everyone seems to be from different worlds, and most have come here for no reason at all. The other you and Hokuto... they ended up here by accident. Most have. I'm one of the few that came her on purpose." What else to explain...? "Um, this place... the clock, the carousel in the center of the city... they seem to be connected to the end. The end of all worlds. And if you are alone for too long, you will hear the constant ticking and it'll drive you crazy." He moved his hand to gently squeeze Subaru's back, looking down. "That's all I've found out so far. I'm sorry... I don't know more. The other you provided me with most of that information. He... has been watching over me so the ticking doesn't get to me too."

Subaru slowly extracted his hand and stared down at the wet silk, and he shook his head. Such a thing... Could he really imagine all of this? He hardly considered himself one with such an imagination... But he couldn't believe any of that was real.

Was he supposed to honestly believe that he was in the same....PLACE as his younger self, and that Hokuto was also alive? "I..." He trailed off again, obviously shaken up and horribly confused. Didn't such a thing oppose the laws of the universe? He shivered and stood, though it hardly seemed as if he could support himself.

"That can't..." He tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry.

Subaru didn't look well. "Subaru... I know it's a lot to take, but..." He placed his hands on the other's arms now, as if to steady him. "It's the truth, though. I especially can tell you about the ticking first hand." One hand moved to timidly touch the other's face, extreme worry showing on his own. "Subaru, it's okay, it..." He wanted to tell him more; tell him he was safe from whatever was going on back home, but... he somehow wasn't sure if that was true or not.

The touch brought a flinch out of him, and he stepped back, only to stop when he realized the couch was in his way. The ticking? Would it drive him mad?

At the very idea, Subaru almost smiled again, but instead he turned and moved over to the window, gripping the edge to peer out and inhale deeply. Oh, he was already mad. He knew that, and there was no cure.

"...The possibility of other dimensions existing can't be ignored just because it seems improbable. I believe you. However... You said you came here deliberately. Why would you do that?" He glanced over his shoulder. "Did you finally have enough of your fate? You can't escape it, just as I couldn't escape mine."

"I..." Kamui wasn't sure how to answer Subaru's question. He hadn't come here to escape it; escape what seemed to be his fate to die. He'd come here in hopes of not offing humanity OR Fuuma in the process. He knew he could still die here, trying to stop the clock from counting down. "Not escape. I guess... I simply want to change fate a bit. Not mine, but humanity's. And Fuuma’s. If I can figure out a way to stop things here, even if I still die in the process, then maybe he'll return to normal, and..." He looked away and wrapped his arms around himself.

He looked away, gazing back out the window again. This city.... Kamui hoped to find some sort of salvation for the earth and Fuuma here? Even after everything, he still had hope?

Subaru only wished he could still share the sentiment.

"But the Promised Day is still ahead. Unless time here is....distorted..." Which seemed to be so, if his sixteen-year-old self was here. The very thought nearly made him ill. How could he even believe something like that? He knew Kamui wasn't a liar, and yet... It just seemed too unreal. Too bizarre even for his life.

"The Chi no Ryuu will win by default if you are gone. The Seals can't defeat the Angels without you." Although he doubted they would, anyway.

"W-what? They... still...?" Kamui had honestly... naively... thought that if one of the “Kamui” wasn't there, but was still alive, that things would be put on pause. But to hear otherwise... "Oh my god. Oh my god..." Kamui's breathed quickened, and his hand tangled hard into his shirt. "I just... then I... I just..." Kamui, by following his hope and coming here, might have just screwed the world and his friends even more. "No. NO. NO." With a thud, he let himself collapse to his knees, tears in his eyes, and obviously on the brink of some sort of meltdown. He didn't want... he'd wanted to fix things! Hinoto had told him...

Subaru could only watch in silence at first as Kamui sunk to his knees and rambled about his mistake. However, he couldn't watch for long. Though he certainly was not his old self, paternal instincts would always kick in around Kamui, especially when he was in visible distress.

Nevermind that such a thing could cause problems with him being an Angel.

Slowly, he sunk down to his knees and rested two hands on Kamui's shoulders. He didn't say anything, though. He was still trying to accept things himself. Subaru couldn't say that he desired the earth's demise... He just wanted the pain to end, while still fulfilling his purpose.

"I really think...you should stay here. If what you say is true, then you can be happy here, and at least stay alive. I would like that." Kamui was the only person still alive that Subaru still had some sort of deep connection with. He certainly didn't crave his death.

Kamui looked up at the other, a few tears running down his cheeks. He had become stronger since becoming a Ten no Ryuu; had shed fewer tears as he began to settle a little more into his role, but this... this was too much. "But the others... Karen-san, Aoki-san, Yuzuriha, Sorata, Arashi..." He started to shake, picturing what could befall them now that he was here. "Segawa-kun too. I just... they're going to die. They're all going to die because of me. It's my... fault..." Even if they had died in other manners, it was obvious he was going to blame himself, no matter what. "And... Fuuma..." A sob caught in his throat.

After taking a deep breath, Subaru shook his head and lifted one hand to try and wipe away Kamui's tears. Really, he failed as a Chi no Ryuu already if he was attempting to console the Seal's Kamui.

Ah well. Again, he didn't so much care about the fate of the world so long as he could play his part out.

"Please don't shed tears over it. You also mustn't take what I say literally. If what you say about this world is the truth, then there is a good chance that time passes differently. It had only been a day or so that your presence was gone when /Kamui/ told me to find you, and it's taken me a week, so I assume that perhaps time passes at least a little quicker here? How long did you say you have been here?"

"Two weeks or so..." he cracked out. "Th-then... for every day there, it's two days here." He started shaking. "But... but that's not enough time, is it? They're still going to... and it's my fault..." It was obvious he wasn't going to be getting over this right away. Not when faced with the possible reality of being the one responsible for the deaths of the very people he wanted to help out. "And I don't think there is an easy way out of this place, so... it's going to... they're all going to..." A sob ripped through him. "Subaru, how could I have been so stupid as to think things really could be that easy?!" he wailed out.

He dropped his hand back down to Kamui's shoulder, remaining quiet. Really, what could he say? Tell him that everything would be alright? Oh, Subaru knew quite well that either way, nothing would ever be 'alright'. Kamui had apparently chosen to come to this place to make things okay, and it was that very naive way of thinking that was probably going to make the Chi no Ryuu win.

However, he wasn't so dense as to rub that in Kamui's face. Obviously the teenager was grieving for deaths that hadn't even taken place yet, and Subaru wasn't going to try and make him feel worse. Still, he knew they couldn't just be friends anymore, and so hugging him was out of the picture.

Instead he merely sat there with him, thumbs occasionally rubbing against his slender shoulders as he tried to process everything Kamui had told him. It was just so much... Perhaps he was acting calm because he was in a state of shock. Perhaps.

Kamui continued to sob. But... at least... at least one person he cared about would be spared. "At least... at least you're here..." he whispered. If he knew that Subaru would have died too because of him, he wouldn't have been able to take it. He would have collapsed under that knowledge; perhaps even gone back into himself. Hell, he was kinda hoping that would happen now, so that he wouldn't have to deal with this reality. It's not like he'd planned on having much of a future, anyway.

That was the view Subaru was currently holding. He really thought Kamui was possibly better off here. The Chi no Ryuu were going to win, anyway. Humanity would be destroyed. It was better if at the very least, Kamui lived.

Still, Subaru didn't want to share Kamui's fate of living here. His entire purpose in life was to carry on for Seishirou's sake. He couldn't very well be the Sakurazukamori if... Oh. Wait. Wait. If this was truly another world, then...there was no Tree. And no Tree meant...

Subaru didn't know what to think all of a sudden. No longer being the Sakurazukamori meant he no longer needed to kill people, for the government or the Tree. But then that also meant he could no longer use maboroshi. He no longer had a purpose.

He still remained silent, now having to think about even more. Subaru just merely nodded absently at Kamui's comment, squeezing his shoulders.

At least he had Subaru. At least Subaru was here with him. That was enough for him to start breathing deeply, calming just enough to stop crying for the moment. But... there was still a pressing question in his mind. Subaru might be here, but... "Why do you have his eye?" he blurted out, not looking at Subaru. He had a feeling that the answer might make him cry again.

Subaru knew that answering that question would only upset Kamui more...but he couldn't very well ignore him. He couldn't simply pretend it was normal to be housing the eye of a dead serial-killing ex-lover.

The young man's tone was soothing like normal, but his words were anything but. "Because I killed him. I had to--.... No, I chose to...carry on in his place."

Kamui flinched. "You chose to..." Carry on in his place. Kamui knew exactly what Subaru meant, and it... that definitely hurt. So even after that bastard died, Subaru was still tied to him. It... it wasn't fair. He was sure Sakurazuka had purposely made sure things happened this way. "Then you're the..." Kamui's eyes were wide now, and he was slowly crying again. It was as if he was in shock. "You're the Sakurazukamori now."

He let his hands fall away from Kamui's shoulders. Especially now that he knew the level of Subaru's betrayal to the Seals, touching of any sort was certainly crossing the line...unless it was inflicting pain. And really, he didn't get any perverse pleasure out of inflicting pain like Fuuma seemed to.

"I am."

Another sob wracked through Kamui's small body. So Subaru had left them because of that. And if Subaru was the Sakurazukamori now, that also meant he was a Chi no Ryuu. Not to mention a... killer. "Kill me," Kamui said, softly. It didn't matter if he lived or died now, right? He'd already sealed the fate of the world by coming here, and since Fuuma no longer could do it... "Please. Kill me."

At first startled by Kamui's plea, Subaru calmed himself down by reminding himself that Kamui was merely experiencing sorrow. Wanting to die was natural. After all, hadn't that been Subaru's Wish? One that would never be granted, now.

His expression hardened a bit, and his tone was firm without sounding harsh. "If you die, it will either be by the hand of /Kamui/, or old age. Not by mine, your own, or anybody else's."

"You can't stop me." Kamui said, softly. "And Fuuma... he can't now, now can he? It no longer matters if I live or die. I no longer have a purpose." And that was true. If the world ended, and he was alive, then... what was he? He'd been raised to be the Kamui. He'd never even thought of much of an existence afterward; especially not after Kotori died and Fuuma changed. "So I want you to kill me. If not you, then what would stop me from seeking out someone else?"

Subaru stared down at him for the longest of times, as if almost considering his logic. Of course, there was no chance that Subaru would do it...and perhaps he should have gotten angry. But instead all it did was tug at his expressions a bit, twisted into something akin to horror and misery as he quickly stood and lifted one hand to hide his face.

"Please don't...ask such a thing of me..." Did Kamui even understand, what a painful and impossible decision that was to make? After everything Subaru had gone through, killing Kamui was possibly the only remaining thing that could undo Subaru. Rather, when Subaru had joined the Chi no Ryuu, he understood that Kamui might die... But not by his own hands.

"Asking me to decide your fate... Please don't," he whispered, breath shuddering.

"I have nothing to live for anymore, right?" Kamui continued to stare at the floor in front of him. "And... I'd prefer you to kill me. Fuuma can't. So you... I'd want you... to." He wasn't going to tell Subaru why, though. He wasn't going to tell him how he truly felt about him. "Unless, I guess, you'd prefer me to do it myself." Kamui didn't really approve of suicide, but... what would stop him? Not that he was Christian, but... if there was a hell, maybe he'd end up there with Fuuma. At least he wouldn't be alone.

Subaru shook his head again, needing another moment to think. Subaru could understand the desire to die at a certain someone's hands...but he had always hoped that Kamui would remain hopeful. Full of hope until the end.

Personally, he had long abandoned hope. But even so, he couldn't grant this wish of Kamui's. It was just something he was incapable of doing. There was no way.

"Of course not. I don't want you to die, Kamui-san. And because of that, I won't help you die. If you are truly so lost and living is so painful, then I won't stop what you choose to do...but I will not make that decision for you. I could never kill you." It was so hard to keep his voice steady, but somehow he managed.

"The same." Kamui said softly. "But for different reasons. You and your younger self are the same." He wondered if Subaru knew that: that deep down, hidden within his soul, he was still close to the same person he was when he was younger. Or, at least, Kamui thought so. Maybe he was just being delusional. "I told the younger you that... I would die if it meant protecting Fuuma and the world. He didn't want me to." He laughed almost bitterly. "That's why he follows me around whenever I go out. So that I don't do anything dangerous. I bet he wouldn't know what to do if he saw me now."

Hearing Kamui talk about his 'younger self' was something he certainly never could have expected. How could he exist in the same place from a different time? It went against the very nature of onmyou, after all.

It made him feel sick just thinking about it. ...So he wouldn't.

"...Kamui-san, didn't you come here to try and find a way to save both /Kamui/ and the people?" No, he wasn't acting as a Ten no Ryuu...but rather as someone wanting to escape, and to perhaps alter Kamui's current desire for death.

"Perhaps you can find a way. Already this place seems to defy logic. Nature. Maybe even fate. You should continue trying, and we can find a way to return."

Kamui looked up to Subaru, a slight glint of hope in his eyes. "You... you think so?" This place was messed up in that way. Besides, the information he'd gathered did seem to suggest that the clock had something to do with the time spans of the other worlds, so... maybe it was possible. But... he wanted Subaru to stay, in the meantime. He didn't want for him to abandon him again, but... he had to give Subaru a reason to stay. Damn it, he was going to hate himself for saying this, but... "He's here, you know. Sakurazuka. A younger version, but it's still the one you know."

Having just been reaching into his coat pocket to find a wet pack of cigarettes, he could almost feel his spine become rigid, and his fingers curled to crush the already ruined pack in a tight fist. He stared blandly down at Kamui before managing to collect his thoughts just enough to say, "Where?"

He wanted to accuse Kamui of lying. Or maybe tell him he was confused. Sakurazuka Seishirou was dead. Subaru could still remember the feeling of pulling his hand from his chest--the shattered bones grazing his skin and the blood soaking through his clothing...

Wait... Both younger Seishirou...and his younger self were here? His eyes widened just a bit at the realization of what that meant, and considering he was still staring down at Kamui--or more like through him--it probably looked more than a little disturbing.

Kamui shivered under that gaze. "I..." He found himself faltering, wondering if maybe telling Subaru this would lead to him being broken again. He didn't want that, and it wasn't his intention, but... "He's in apartment ten. Diagonal to this one. I've been... I've been trying to protect your younger self from him. And Hokuto too." He looked down, afraid of Subaru's reaction, even though Kamui's actions shouldn't have been a surprise to the other. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure if you'd want that, but..."

Gnawing on his lip all of a sudden, he turned away and paced over to the window, then moved off to the side, apparently not knowing what to do with himself. Seishirou was here? Alive Younger? Then that meant... "We're the same age," he whispered to himself.

This was...morbidly comical.

Still, he was stricken with this sudden situation. It was as if he had stepped back into time. That is, if everything Kamui said was true. "Then... Are you saying that he is still...attempting the bet? With me?"

Kamui nodded slightly. "He is. He's pretending to be kind to both of them." He fidgeted a bit, then decided to make the executive decision of moving to sit on the couch. "But he's not that at all. His aura is the same as the Sakurazuka I fought. And... Hokuto has voiced suspicions as well." His hand wrapped itself in his shirt nervously. Subaru didn't seem to be reacting badly, but... well, Kamui knew he'd certainly be unpredictable with all this messed up information being thrown at him. "I told them both to be careful, and they agreed, even though they don't entirely believe me. I..." Then hand tangled in his shirt moved again over his heart, bunching the fabric there once more. "I couldn't protect you from being hurt, and I couldn't help you, but... I can try my best to protect him."

"And what will that do?"

Subaru turned to face him, eyeing him on the couch. He wasn't surprised that even stuck in a dimension, Seishirou was be pursuing the bet. He also wasn't surprised that his younger self had a hard time believing Kamui. Even now, it was still so hard to believe...

"Are you attempting to alter the past? If so, the me you know now would cease to exist. The me you met as a Ten no Ryuu might be different. Hokuto-chan would still be alive... Are you trying to make me happy?" His eyes almost glittered, and the current emotion he was harboring went unnamed. "Attempting to alter the past...could have disastrous consequences. You shouldn't be playing like that. And I shouldn't be seeing any of them...especially my former self. Kamui-san, we ought to leave. Immediately."

"Leave?" Kamui blinked, taken off guard by the idea. "But I don't even know if we can. If it was such an easy task, I'm sure this city would be far less densely populated." He'd already thought of the consequences his actions could have, of course, but... he didn't care. "And... I know. I know there could be consequences, but I don't care. If it would make you happy, I would accept whatever happens. Besides..." He sighed. God, this was hard to explain; logic wasn't his forte, after all. Kamui ran mostly on emotions instead. "I'm not even sure if things you do in this city would effect the past. As you said earlier, this place seems to break all the rules of other worlds." Maybe that idea would make Subaru feel better?

He turned again, this time walking off in search of a trash can. His hand was still in his pocket, still clutching that wet pack of cigarettes. They were ruined now, so he found a trash can in the kitchen and dropped them in there, then wandered back in and just...dropped onto the couch beside Kamui.

With a drawn out sigh, he propped his elbows on his knees and looked thoughtfully down to his socks, which were definitely freezing his feet at this point. Not that it mattered at the moment.

"Even if you say this city is populated with people who can't get home, I don't see why using onmyoujutsu won't work. It got me here. However, I was using you as a direction. I'll need something else of home...and quite possible need to actually do it in a ceremony..." Oh, his head was hurting...all this information...

Kamui was happy to see the cigarettes be thrown away, even if he knew Subaru probably would just go buy another pack later. "I... I don't know. It seems that getting here is a one-way thing. You can come here on your own powers, but you can't leave using them. Another way has to be found." The rollercoaster of emotions Kamui'd been feeling since finding Subaru was starting to make him get a headache too, but, still, he didn't really regret any of it. "If you want, you can stay here until you find the answer to this problem. You can't stay alone, or the ticking will eventually get to you. God, I know I've been about to lose it a couple of times because of it denying me sleep..."

Subaru's head tilted in Kamui's direction. So the city was designed to trap you, and keep you from being alone? It was as if it was trying to be a perverse therapist.

"You're afraid of me losing my mind?" It was more of a rhetorical question than anything, and he waved it off a moment later. "I suppose having some time to think about all of this would be best. And I'm still going to try to find a way to escape. Whether you want to leave is your choice."

Hmm... He was considering asking for a change of clothes, too, but he was sure Kamui's clothing wouldn't fit him. Subaru was taller.

Kamui nodded. "I... I'll need time to decide if I want to go back or not. Going back might mean my immediate death... if there is a place to go back to by then." He sighed, sadly. He'd really screwed things up this time. Typical him. "But, if I stay here, I will continue to interact and protect the younger you," he added, firmly. He was... already becoming attached to the younger Subaru, obviously, even though becoming attached meant he had to deal with Hokuto too. Oh well. He'd take the good with the bad. "Um..." He just now remembered Subaru was soaked. "I have a yukata that's a little big for me... would you... like to wear that until we can dry your clothes?"

The idea of protecting the younger him was still baffling. What would it accomplish? Anything? Nothing? Well, if it made Kamui feel better....he wasn't opposed. After all, he was right. Kamui returning probably would mean his immediate death.

With a somber nod, the young man stood. "That sounds best for now. Thank you for your hospitality."

"It's no problem. You've done a lot for me, so... it's the least I can do." He disappeared into his bedroom for a moment and returned with a dark grey yukata and black obi sash. "I hope this is okay. Um..." Kamui had never had to play host before, really, and was now not exactly sure what to do. Sure, he was used to living with others, but... this was different. "There are towels in the bathroom, and... you can have my room. I'll cook food for us too, okay?"

Subaru reached out to accept the yukata, glancing down the hallway. He had no intention of taking Kamui's room from him, but he wouldn't bother arguing about that yet. He wasn't interested in sleeping. He wasn't interested in eating, either... But he rarely was.

His eating habits, or lack thereof, would never change.

"You owe me nothing, Kamui-san. I not only left the Seals, but I am now an Angel. I am your enemy. Any obligation you feel towards me is misplaced."

"You are..." Kamui didn't know how to put this, "Here, you have no obligations to either. You just... are." He wandered to the kitchen to start making some tea for them. "Some people, I think, take this place as one to start over, but..." He accidentally burned himself with a yelp, swearing under his breath right after and running his hand under the cold water. "I don't think that would be easy for either of us."

Subaru watched him mutely as he moved into the kitchen, absently listening, only to drop the clothing on the couch the moment he heard the yelp.

Just as Kamui was putting his hand under the faucet, Subaru was at his side, taking his hand in one and moving the other to change the water's temperature up just a notch. His voice was a soft whisper as he guided Kamui's hand back underneath the water, which was only mildly cool now. "Placing it immediately under cold water could shock the burn and cause it to scar..."

He was silent after stating that, keeping Kamui's hand held there for another minute before slowly turning the water back to cold. "Be sure to keep it there for another few minutes..." He stepped back and pulled his hands away. A glove was soaking wet again, so he just decided to give up on them, and peeled them both off before setting them on the kitchen counter.

Kamui nodded and kept his hand under the water as instructed. "Thank you, Subaru. Um... I have bandaids in the bathroom cabinet. Do you think you could find one for me, maybe?" It was sort of funny, though... for Subaru to be concerned about it scarring. People probably wouldn't even notice it after seeing the ones that ran through his hands. The thought made him softly laugh bitterly as he stared at the most-visible marks left on him from the day Kotori died.

Subaru had merely been acting on instinct, of course. And no matter what scars Kamui already had, there was no reason to go adding more. Once Kamui asked him to retrieve the bandaids, he left the teenager to himself for a minute while he went searching.

He pulled a bandaid out and headed back out into the kitchen, holding it out for Kamui and watching passively.

That seemed like long enough for soaking that finger, Kamui thought, and he pulled it out from under the water, drying it off, and then accepting the bandaid from Subaru with a small smile. "Thanks." He applied it carefully, then sighed. "Sorry. I don't usually get hurt in the kitchen. I've just been... out of it, I guess. It'll heal in a few hours anyway, I'm sure." He now noticed that the other had removed his gloves; a fact that warranted another, larger smile, though he tried to keep the reasoning for it under wraps. "Why don't you go get dressed? I should be find here."

Subaru eyed him for another long moment before nodding and reaching out to take his gloves. He didn't want to leave a mess, after all. What sort of guest would do that?

He trailed out into the living room to pick up the yukata and obi before disappearing back into the bathroom and shutting the door this time. Peeling out of wet clothes was certainly not fun, but it was such a relief when he was fully dry and re-clothed. He had been sure to tie the yukata very securely around his middle, for the sake of decency.

If he was going to be stuck here any longer than a day, then he would need to go buy some clothing. Oh, his wallet was soaked as well...

Once he was fully dressed again, he left his simple wallet unfolded on the bathroom counter to dry, then walked barefoot out into the living room, holding his wet clothing over his arms. "I suppose these should be put outside on the balcony to dry?"

"Yeah." Kamui nodded and left the tea to steep, taking the clothes from Subaru. "I'll do it." He quickly shuffled off to the balcony to hang the clothes, and returned. "Um... you're going to need new clothes, I guess. We can go out later for that. If... your money and stuff was ruined, I can always pay for it." A shrug. "I have a job now, after all. Even though... I don't think your younger self likes it..."

Hearing Kamui talk about his younger self was quite disorienting, and Subaru just shook his head and folded his arms across his chest when Kamui returned.

"I doubt my younger self would approve of most of the things that he.... I do now. And I wasn't carrying much cash in there. I mostly use my card. What sort of currency do they take here?" A pause. "...What sort of job do you do?"

"They take everything here." Kamui shrugged. "Not sure how that works, but... it does somehow. I was just stupid enough to forget to bring much money with me, so I had to get a job. Um..." He scratched the back of his head nervously. "I work as a waiter at the casino here. It's good enough money, but... customers keep telling me I could do more for a little extra. I don't get what they're aiming for, and I haven't needed the extra yet... so I turn them down. I just wish... they wouldn't touch me while asking." He blushed slightly. Oh, there was no way in hell he was going to mention the part about the somewhat revealing uniform. Nooo way.

Subaru stared blankly at Kamui while he spoke before releasing a drawn out sigh. Oh, how he really wanted those cigarettes now. Just one, at least. The craving would be making him twitch if he didn't have such good willpower.

"Kamui-san... I suggest you find a different job. Your customers seem to want sexual favors for extra cash..." Though he was jaded enough to be able to talk of it, that didn't mean he wasn't a bit embarrassed to talk so plainly about it. "Think of the sort of work Karen-san did. That's why they're touching you. I'm surprised you let them." Considering how temperamental he knew Kamui could get...

"Sexual favors...?" Kamui blinked, and then suddenly started to wish that he'd fall into a hole somewhere to never return. He should have known that; especially with the way some women and men eyed him. Sigh. "I let them only because I don't want to get fired for freaking out at someone. I don't think... I could find another job. I don't really have any skills for normal employment, and this one pays just enough to survive on, so..." He decided not to go into the fact that someone who others called a "deity" had basically set this up for him, and he was lucky enough to have it. That... probably really would have put Subaru on information overload.

"Mm... If you say so." Oh, he rather hoped all of a sudden that he had access to his bank account from here. Though it seemed rather impossible, who knew? If not, would he be forced to wait tables?

Well, it wasn't as if Subaru thought himself above such things. He just really wasn't a people person... Not anymore. He hardly even considered himself an animal person anymore.

When it came down to it, he didn't mind living in poverty.

"Just please look after yourself. Don't let anybody take advantage of you here. Here, as you said, you can try to decide your own fate, hm?"

Kamui nodded and poured tea: both for himself and Subaru. He didn't know if the older man would drink it, but... wouldn't hurt to offer. "I won't. If anyone tries to touch me beyond what I can put up with, I'll break their fucking arm." He jolted. He rarely ever swore in front of Subaru, but obviously, his pent-up annoyance was overriding his ability to control his mouth. "S-sorry..."

Once the tea was poured, Subaru waited until a cup was nudged in his direction before he reached out to pick it up. Kamui's foul language, at the very least, brought out the slightest of smiles from him.

"It's all right. I'm convinced now that you will protect yourself." He lifted up the cup to glance down at his reflection before he hurriedly looked away. There was a reason he had gotten rid of all the mirrors in his latest home.

"Can you use your powers here?"

"I'm guessing I can. I was able to call some of it forth, but your other self stopped me from using it." He wanted to growl about that, but... he knew the younger Subaru had only been trying to protect both him and the city. "I was going to try to destroy the carousel, in hopes of stopping, well, everything, but... he got in the way so I couldn't do it." Of course, Kamui was later grateful when he found out he could have possibly been fried or something. "I don't think this place really effects normal usage of your powers. But..." once again, he found himself trying to find a good way of phrasing this, "the powers of the Sakurazukamori... don't they stem from a physical object or something? If it's not here, I think that might effect those powers." Not like he knew for sure, of course.

"Mm? Oh... Yes..." He glanced at Kamui, then shrugged. Yes, he was positive that the Sakura Grove was not here, if this was an alternate dimension. He certainly felt a little less...what was the proper word? Powerful? No... He just...felt like a small part of himself was missing.

Which was bizarre. But really, he had taken the Sakurazukamori on as a part of himself. Turning away, Subaru reached up to let his fingertips trace his temple beneath his right eye, then dropped his hand away to stare down at the back of it. He was still, then, suddenly unable to come up with a better response.

The marks... By now, he could hardly see them. Were they even there?

Kamui blinked. Not the response he was expecting. "Subaru, after you have your tea... perhaps you should go to sleep for a while or something?" Seemed like a good enough suggestion. "I'm sure after all that you've learned today, you'll need it. I mean, if I were you, and I had someone like me tell you all that stuff, my mind would be sort of... blown." Wow. That was a lame way to put it. "Rest would be good for you." And then after he woke up, he'd force him to eat something. Yeah.

Subaru dropped his hand and looked over at Kamui. He opened his mouth, then closed it...then opened it again. "Yes... Maybe I just need to rest my eyes for a bit."

He lifted up his tea cup to take another few sips before he stepped back into the kitchen and set it down on the sink. His smile was apologetic as he looked to Kamui. "Your couch should do fine. Unless you would prefer me in your room?"

"You're my guest here, so it's only right for you to have my room." He smiled softly. "Besides, I've been sleeping on the couch across the hall off and on anyway. I'm used to it." A sure nod followed that. "Um, just... try to ignore the clothes randomly on the floor? Especially the weird ones Hokuto has been trying to push on me?" Of course, to Kamui, anything more extravagant than his school uniforms, jeans, or a t-shirt was considered 'weird'. At least the elder Sumeragi twin hadn't tried to get him in a dress. Yet.

Hearing Kamui talk so casually of it all... Oh. His head.

He merely nodded, bowed his head in thanks, and turned to wander off down the hall, gently shutting the door behind him once he was inside the bedroom. Of course, ignoring the clothing was impossible.

It was so easy to pick out the clothing that Hokuto herself had obviously either made or bought. The young man found himself kneeling and gathering up any bits of clothing he could that seemed to emanate Hokuto's personality, fingertips caressing the fabric as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hokuto...chan..." he whispered, and he let himself slump back onto the bed. Before long he was curled up on his side, fast asleep with the clothing hugged to his chest.

Kamui smiled to himself when things became very quiet in his room. So Subaru did fall asleep. Good. And, at least here, he could be safe and not have to worry about the ticking and such (to make things better, Kamui also didn't have to worry about that as long as Subaru was staying).

After a few minutes of bustling about, trying to get the place cleaner and such, he went into the bathroom and saw the other's wallet. Ugh. Must have gotten soaked. He touched it lightly to see if it was drying, his eyes gravitating toward the ID he saw in it. With a quick peek out of the doorway to make sure everything was still quiet, he slid the ID out of its spot to look at it more closely. He was... curious, for some reason, but... that soon turned out to be a bad thing as he saw the name: "Sakurazuka Subaru," Kamui said softly, feeling a pang of pain in his chest. "That bastard. Even in death, he still...." The ID was quickly placed back in its spot carefully, and Kamui stomped out of the bathroom to start cooking, hoping that would calm him a bit. He had to protect the younger Subaru now for sure. His Subaru was probably too fargone (not that he wouldn't be a good friend and try to help him, of course), but the younger one still had hope. If it came to it... he'd simply kill Sakurazuka Seishirou