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tampered2007-09-14 11:04 pm
ephemeric.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-09-14 11:04 pm
Log; complete
When; September 14, around 2 AM
Rating; PG-13ish
Characters; Asuka![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ephemeric
Summary; she is the sum total of her anger.
Log;
Asuka thinks to herself that, in case she can't scrub her whole skin off, the germs will at least die from the near-boiling water. Near-boiling is not good enough, she knows, but she is too tired to care now. Maybe later she will boil herself to death.
It hurts. She tells herself that it doesn't. She tells herself that it will go away, soon, but thinks she can't afford to wait for soon to be now. She thinks it shouldn't hurt this much. She thinks she doesn't even know what hurts anymore. It surely isn't the water cooking her alive, or the little wounds from yesterday that pierce like knife wounds because of it. It is something else. Something she can't just scrub off or boil away.
There is a rubber duck on the side of the tub, grinning widely, as if it holds the secret to happiness. Angry, she grabs it, violently flinging the rubber duck across the bathroom. It lets out a high-pitched squawk as it hits the opposite wall, but drops to the floor unharmed.
Even rubber ducks are more resilient than Asuka.
They should know better. The reason why she doesn't parade around with "HANDLE WITH CARE" on her forehead is because she doesn't want to be a nuisance. But it doesn't mean she is unbreakable. The reason why she doesn't cry is so they wouldn't have to deal with something so fake like what papa gave to mama. They should know that it isn't because she feels less.
Sometimes she thinks she feels so much that a jumble of emotions is all she is. Like her anger. All she is. The hatred, the jealousy, the loneliness. There is nothing else but the pain.
Hah! Now she has been reduced to even less: an emo teenager telling herself that she bears the sum total of man's suffering. Pathetic. Just an object to be used. Something disposable. No, not even that. She is useless. Nothing. Nothing. No, a vacuum, taking everything good and giving back nothing.
That's what she is then. A vacuum. She will take and take and take and give nothing back. She will make them see how much wanting hurts. They should have known better, but they didn't, so she will show them. She will make them see.
It will be a sort of birthday present, though given unwillingly.
Rating; PG-13ish
Characters; Asuka
ephemericSummary; she is the sum total of her anger.
Log;
Asuka thinks to herself that, in case she can't scrub her whole skin off, the germs will at least die from the near-boiling water. Near-boiling is not good enough, she knows, but she is too tired to care now. Maybe later she will boil herself to death.
It hurts. She tells herself that it doesn't. She tells herself that it will go away, soon, but thinks she can't afford to wait for soon to be now. She thinks it shouldn't hurt this much. She thinks she doesn't even know what hurts anymore. It surely isn't the water cooking her alive, or the little wounds from yesterday that pierce like knife wounds because of it. It is something else. Something she can't just scrub off or boil away.
There is a rubber duck on the side of the tub, grinning widely, as if it holds the secret to happiness. Angry, she grabs it, violently flinging the rubber duck across the bathroom. It lets out a high-pitched squawk as it hits the opposite wall, but drops to the floor unharmed.
Even rubber ducks are more resilient than Asuka.
They should know better. The reason why she doesn't parade around with "HANDLE WITH CARE" on her forehead is because she doesn't want to be a nuisance. But it doesn't mean she is unbreakable. The reason why she doesn't cry is so they wouldn't have to deal with something so fake like what papa gave to mama. They should know that it isn't because she feels less.
Sometimes she thinks she feels so much that a jumble of emotions is all she is. Like her anger. All she is. The hatred, the jealousy, the loneliness. There is nothing else but the pain.
Hah! Now she has been reduced to even less: an emo teenager telling herself that she bears the sum total of man's suffering. Pathetic. Just an object to be used. Something disposable. No, not even that. She is useless. Nothing. Nothing. No, a vacuum, taking everything good and giving back nothing.
That's what she is then. A vacuum. She will take and take and take and give nothing back. She will make them see how much wanting hurts. They should have known better, but they didn't, so she will show them. She will make them see.
It will be a sort of birthday present, though given unwillingly.