Log; complete

[mildlyreckless.livejournal.com]

When; Friday, September 28th
Rating; PG for language and bitching
Characters; Meryl Stryfe (inyourbusiness) and Vash the Stampede (mildlyreckless)
Summary; Vash was a jerk. Meryl manipulated him a little to get back at him. And isn't done yet.
Log;
The fact of the matter was that Vash was a piece of scum for doing that. And for blaming the wind (she was still trying to figure out what the hell was up with that) for betraying her thoughts [not-so] carefully written in that suede-bound notebook she purchased on impulse in her first week in the City? That was even worse. He was such a slimeball when he wanted to be, wasn't he?

But that was fine. Meryl Stryfe threw her hissyfit on the network. She whined and screamed, and spoke to others in brief about it. He began to feel awful, and gave her what she desired: a chance to clobber him for reading her journal. She should have ripped him limb from limb, but the secretary had to factor in a few things that made her feel more inclined to pity him over anything.

For about five seconds, anyway. And then she was off after assuring he wouldn't leave his apartment, to go there and get what she desired. The final note was that of irritated calm (what an oxymoron), of a woman who simply wanted to talk as opposed to moments before, when she wanted to skin him alive and throw his hide out on her apartment building roof to tan in the sun. She was very good at tanning skins too, in fact. But that was beside the point.

After a detour to a grocery store for a few items to carefully conceal in the knee-length jacket (in white, of course) she wore closed, Meryl made her way to the by-then familiar building that Vash lived in with more than his fair share of roommates. At the door, she took a moment to fidget an object out from inside her jacket, and twist off the binds of the carefully wrapped bottle quietly. The other key item in place, Meryl took on a very sober, rather despondent look and rapped her knuckles against the door several times to announce her arrival.

~*~

To say Vash felt "horrible" was a vast understatement. At this point the was sincerely hoping Meryl would shoot him or something. From this point on, if he read her diary, he sure as hell wasn't going to tell her.

The knock at the door made him jump a little. Calm Meryl was ten times as terrifying as clawing-up-the-walls Meryl as far as he was concerned. Why did he have to be such an idiot?!

"Coming," he said a little nervously, heading for the front door to unlock and open it. Ryuzaki liked to keep the place as locked-down as possible. Vash opened the door and gave Meryl a look that screamed guilt and hinted at sheer terror. "...Yo. Uh... You all right?"

~*~

"Mm." It was hummed out non-chalantly, as a quiet prelude to what was about to hit in one second.

It was kind of unceremonious, how she swung the bottle up towards his face. It was a ketchup bottle, and one with the plastic bent for ease shortly after purchase. After all, she wasn't all that strong, but Meryl was stronger than she looked.

One more second was given for one of the most wicked little smiles that Meryl had ever displayed, before she squeezed down on the worn plastic and the sticky contents shot out of the neck of the bottle, right for Vash's face. And in close proximity, too. Like hell she was going to give room to miss!

~*~

Vash just stared as the ketchup hit him in the face, absolutely dumbstruck. That...wasn't what he'd been expecting, but fine. He deserved that.

But then the little smirk Meryl had given him clicked in his brain.

...She had PLAYED him!! Used the fact that she KNEW how easy it was to make him feel guilty and turned it against him!

Not only was Meryl absolutely evil, she was clever. And Vash felt rather violated.

"You--!!" he said stupidly, flustering at not only being covered in ketchup, but used in the short woman's sick little revenge game.

~*~

The bottle, squeezed as empty as a prompt attack could get, was tossed from her hand and towards his face. He could catch it, or let it hit his forehead for all she cared. He deserved it!

From her pocket, a small, blocky apparatus was pulled free. A disposable camera that she grabbed from the check-out shelf, and pushing a button to trigger the flash, she lifted it up to Vash.

Her voice contorted to a slovenly drawl then, as she said, "Smile perdy, little boy~" before starting to snap picture after picture, looking more and more pleased with each and every flash of light.

~*~

Vash's hand went up instinctively to catch the bottle and he started to say something again, but was cut off by a series of flashes.

"HEY!" he said, stumbling backwards a little. "What are you--"

Then it hit.

"KNOCK IT OFF!!" He grabbed for the camera and considered just grabbing Meryl and hauling her out of the building. Thank God he was now assured that he was no more mature than this woman.

~*~

The advantages of him being so tall and she being so short were few, but in that instance, it was perfect. He swiped for the camera, and she ducked down and moved around to get behind him. "You better not get any of that ketchup on this jacket. It's brand new! If you do, you're paying for the drycleaning, Mister!"

Skidding around in a circle, the camera went up again and she started to take pictures again with one hand as her other hand started into her jacket once more. "You said you were going to behave and take it like a big boy, Mr. Vash. I don't see that at all! Hmph, you'd think that Vash the Stampede would be more true to his word than this!" Playing him like a fiddle? Never.

~*~

That last statement gave Vash pause, but it was quickly overridden by indignation.

"I should have posted that stuff in a PUBLIC ENTRY!" he yelled, scooping some ketchup off his face and swiping at Meryl's nice, crisp jacket. "I can't BELIEVE I fell for your crap!"

~*~

"Hey!!" Meryl shrieked, staggering back but still not being able to escape the splash of red. Oh, he was dead, and she looked furious as her next weapon was pulled free. A flick of her thumb, and the cap of the cannister flew off. She quirked an eyebrow at him, her teeth clenched in similar indignation.

Whipped cream in a can was aimed at him and, just with the ketchup, let loose unceremoniously. "You wouldn't dare! Because then people really would think you're a total scumbag! What, do you want people to actually believe me that you're a total and complete bum, you loser?!" There was a small grin that unintentionally flittered across her face, as though she was actually enjoying it.

Okay, maybe she was, but it was quickly masked with another camera flash in Vash's face behind the spray of whipped cream.

~*~

That did it. After taking some whipped cream to the face, Vash darted inside and grabbed a bottle of chocolate syrup out of the fridge, reappearing at the door with quite impressive speed.

"What are people going to think of YOU when they see those pictures, you SADIST?" he said, practically dumping the stuff all over Meryl's front.

Now THAT was satisfying.

~*~

Another shriek in surprise, Meryl's camera hand swinging around behind her back to shield it from the splash. "It doesn't matter! They already think I'm Satan's bride or something!" Her other hand, clutching the can, was held up to shield her face.

After the initial spray, Meryl allowed her hand to turn and spray out the remainder of the whipped cream. "Oh my God," she screamed, regardless of who could hear, "all we need is ice cream!" She was totally forcing him to pay her drycleaning, that was simply not negotiable, but what was done was done for the moment, and Meryl was going to accept that.

The whipped cream ran dry soon after her second shot started, and she quickly threw it to the side to let it clatter out down the hall. It was forgotten quickly, as she bounded in closer, hauled off with her now free hand, and popped Vash in the stomach hard enough to make sure he felt it (but not really hurt him). "Have some couth!" As though Meryl had any room to talk.

~*~

"You have some couth!" Vash said in a fit of epic maturity, grunting at the blow and then squeezing the last of the syrup onto Meryl's head, rubbing it into her hair. Yeah. A hundred and fifty-some years had really aged him well.

~*~

The camera was dropped, and clacked off across the floor to the side, as Meryl screamed and latched onto his hands as they worked the syrup into her hair. He was not doing that, he seriously was not--

That was fine. Grips readjusted to focus on his real hand and she used her weight (she had some!) to tug it down. The reasoning was simple, and that was so that Meryl could sink her teeth into his hand as best she could (and much like a little dog, do so with a certain amount of lockjaw), a small growl escaping her. He touched her hair!

~*~

"What are you-- AHHH, YOU BIT ME??!??!" Vash's yell was probably heard halfway across the City. "WHAT ARE YOU, RABID?!!! LET GO OF ME, YOU PSYCHO!!"

Vash's next display bordered on the spectacular as he continued flailing and attempting to restrain his much shorter counterpart.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FREAKING BIT ME!!! YOU'RE LIKE A THREE-YEAR-OLD WITH MORE LIFE EXPERIENCE AND LESS COURTESY!! LOOK AT THIS!! YOU LEFT TEETH MARKS!! WHAT THE HELL!! SERIOUSLY!! I'M GOING TO SUE YOUR ASS FOR ASSAULT, SHORT WOMAN, I SWEAR TO GOD, WHO OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS CITY!!!"

~*~

Meryl bounded backwards, bending down momentarily to watch him as he shrieked at her with wide eyes. They were wide, attentive... and actually very, very amused. "WELL, MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO BE AN INDIAN GIVER WITH YOUR PROMISES FOR REVENGE WITHOUT RETALIATION!!"

And in she swept again, this time in an attempt to latch onto his nose and pull. She was hardly done with him, hardly so, and now that he was screaming. Surely Vash knew by then that screaming at Meryl only exacerbated the situation? Meryl thought so, but apparently she was very wrong. And thus, a game of I-got-yer-nose was attempted.

~*~

Meryl forgot one very important thing as she grabbed for Vash's nose, and that was that she had made it incredibly slippery with her former antics. Vash pulled away easily and then picked the woman up easily, flipping her over so he was now dangling her head above the floor.

"Who's got who NOW?" he asked triumphantly, a little tempted to shake her and see if change fell out.

~*~

Meryl flailed, cursing the fact that she was so damn small compared to him. That was the true reason this all went to hell! And he had her around the waist, so attempt to heft up and slap him was completely out of the question. "What the fu--let me go!" She squirmed and flailed, attempting to kick her legs into his head. "This is so cheap! Even for you!! I'd expect this from the priest, but NOT YOU!"

~*~

Vash held onto Meryl's legs with his real arm and swung her like a human pendulum.

"I'M cheap?" he demanded. "You toyed with my emotions, covered me in ketchup and whipped cream, and then BIT me like a crazed dog!"

He paused for a second, taking in the scene.

"You'd make a pretty good mop if your hair wasn't covered in chocolate syrup. ...I know~! I'll paint a picture out on the pavement with your hair!"

~*~

And, oh, did Meryl scream. She screamed at being swung, she screamed at what he said. And when he paused, and after his threat, she arched in as best she could to look at him and jut a finger up at him. "You read my personal journal! You laughed and embarassed me! You promised me fair retaliation, and betrayed that with this!

"AND IF YOU TRY IT, I WILL CASTRATE YOU. WITH MY BARE HANDS."

~*~

Vash leaned down a little to glare at her.

"You want a list? Okay. You left me in the desert with no water, clotheslined me from behind when I was trying to protect someone, told people in the City I'm a pervert, make a huge spectacle about people thinking you had a crush on me, offended my boyfriend, and God only knows what else you did behind my back! And I only laughed at the drawings because they were funny!"

~*~

Meryl's response?

"Tch. Technicalities."

And, thus, she flopped down and let her hands drape down towards the ground, her eyes staring at the floor. "I'm still mad at you. And for the record, you are a pervert, and everyone else was making the spectacle without bothering to speak to me directly! Do you know how much that sucks? Wolfwood and I are completely fine, too. We apologized and are getting along."

... An outburst of flailing began suddenly at that point, with limbs flailing and Meryl screaming, "Put me down, now!"

~*~

Vash pondered this quietly for a while, ignoring Meryl's flailing.

"Hm, I don't blame you," he said at last, then unceremoniously flipped her upright and gave her a hug, still holding her up off of the ground. "I really am sorry though?"

The hug was partially in apology, yes. But there was something unmistakably satisfying in smearing more of that crap on her.

~*~

Meryl groaned softly at getting more condiments smashed against her brand new jacket, and she didn't respond to anything for a moment as the blood readjusted from being draped upside down. However, after she recuperated from both, she reluctantly returned the hug.

"You still suck to such an insurmountable degree, Mr. Vash." As though she was just going to give him forgiveness that easily, honestly. "But I guess I'll let it go. I mean, you are apologizing." And hugging her... and by that aside, she totally meant that he wasn't paying attention to the camera on the floor.

~*~

Vash was still mildly suspicious. As a matter of fact, now he was wondering if Meryl had set him up with that journal. He wouldn't put it past her. But he dropped her to the ground and rubbed his hand.

"And you DID bite me," he said a little vindictively. "And I won't sue you for it at this moment. Why can't you be a normal person and just punch me?"

~*~

"Hmph." Meryl paused for a time, to shake her hair out and then smooth it back casually. "I did bite you, but you did deserve it. As to why I don't punch you like the women that I know you like having hit you for other reasons..."

A dark, snaky smile passed over her face, and she quickly dipped down and grabbed the camera. "Why should I, when I have the perfect picture moments to show of you everywhere?!" And with a snicker that she would deny ever giving, Meryl, for a lack of a better phrase, took off like a bat out of Hell.

~*~

"I never said I didn't," Vash said, examining his hand. His head snapped up at the punching comment and he watched her with slanted eyes as she began to move.

Then--

"WHAT?!"

Vash could have easily taken her down and simply commandeered said camera, but he merely watched bitterly as the short woman darted away.

He began to wonder if the deities would accept a trade to send her ass back to No-Man's Land.