tampered | Log; Completed.

Log; Completed.

When; Friday 3/14 Afternoon
Rating; Hard R
Characters; Ash Williams (

housewares_ash), Laura Cadman (

bohica_apu)
Summary; Ash bakes. Cadman wisecracks. Sex ensues.
Log;

Ash Williams really like his job at the bakery. He got to be a salesman, work with his hands, and be useful.

And he wasn't half bad at it all, either. He was adjusting to city life... okay. But the prospect of making good friends with a certain fiesty redhead made him smirk. He was crooning a bit of Elvis' "Blue Suede Shoes" to himself as he frosted some cupcakes.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Cadman walked into the bakery and grinned; Ash was apparently an Elvis fan. Not so much of a shock, but still pretty damn endearing.

"Do you take requests? 'Cos if so, I've gotta ask for 'A Little Less Conversation' next."

She moved closer and stuck out her hand to shake. "Nice to finally meet you in the flesh, Ash."

And given she probably offered her right hand, she was getting a palm full of cold metal.

"What there is of it," he had to quip. "Nice meetin' you, Cadman."

Cadman raised an eyebrow at the obvious... modifications, but said nothing. Ash'd explain if and when he wanted to; wasn't much of a point to asking about what wasn't her business.

"Likewise, Ash."

She grinned and looked him up and down, adding just a touch of lascivious appreciation. "I don't know, doesn't seem to me like there's anything wrong with what you've got now, sugar."

She winked. "I always like a man who knows his way around the kitchen."

"I don't do half bad," Ash downplayed. "So. What's your pleasure? You got you pick of the place, here." He drew his thumb under his bottom lip, taking out a smudge of frosting that had been there.

"I guess it just depends on what you're in the mood for."

She grinned, and let her eyes move up and down Ash's body appreciatively. She stepped closer, and said, "I think I'm in the mood for-"

Oh my God, were those cheese danishes? She straightened up and forgot flirting for the moment, distracted by the delicious pastry.

She grinned. "Danish. I'm in the mood for danish."

"Danish," Ash said, scanning the shelves, though all he had to do was follow Cadman's eyeline. He found them, but took a good look down Cadman's body, first. He grabbed one out with a bit of wax paper and held it out.

"This, huh?"

Cadman noticed Ash's none-too-subtle approach to checking her out, and obligingly took off her BDU jacket. "There, now you get the full effect."

She grinned, and grabbed at the danish in his hand. "Hell yeah that, Ash. Gimme."

Ash surrendered the danish without any struggle, a smirk on his face. "All yours, baby. So, where you from, anyways?"

"That's what I like to hear."

Cadman took a large bite of the danish, then after swallowing and licking her fingers, she replied, "All over, really. Dad was a full bird colonel in the Marines; we moved a lot." She shrugs. "Momma was from Georgia, and we spent a lot of time there... s'pose you could say I'm from Georgia, when it comes down to it."

Another huge bite, followed by a noise that- if one were inclined to dirty minded thoughts- sounded pretty damn close to orgasmic. "Fucking hell, Ash, I don't know if this is the best cheese danish I've ever eaten or if I'm just really fucking hungry." A beat, then, "Maybe both."

She licked her fingers again. "What about you?"

"Michigan, born and raised," he said, the smirk on his face practically permanent. "Took a slight detour to King Arthur's kingdom for a bit, though."

Cadman paused mid-mite of danish, then shook her head. "You know what, I'm not even gonna ask. And considering the premier team at the SGC ran around after something Mitchell kept calling 'Merlin's Death Ray', I can't exactly be pullin' the crazy card right now."

She finished off the last of the danish, and sucked her fingers clean of any stickiness, then sighed happily. "I am considering giving up on people and devoting my time to seducing baked goods. That was seriously amazing, Ash."

"Wish I could take credit for it," Ash said. "Danishes are a little out of my expertise right now." He leaned back a bit, stroking his chin with his metal hand. "Should I be asking about that SGC thing?"

Cadman grinned at Ash, hip-checking him gently. "Hey, you hooked me up with it; I give you all the credit."

She shrugged. "Yeah, why not?" She sighed deeply. "Okay, info dump time. Long story short: aliens exist, some are evil, most are annoying and/or cryptic, the SGC uses a thing called the Stargate to travel via wormhole to travel to other planets; Atlantis is real and I was stationed there for a while, but it's not an island; it's really a floating city located in the Pegasus galaxy." A beat. "And I don't know if the SGC exists in your universe, but I would not suggest discussing the possibility in public should you get home, because that's when you get shot and/or arrested."

"Right," Ash said, chuckling at the hip-check. "That's no less crazy than my story. So I guess I better spill on that, huh?"

He took a deep breath, ready to say... most of it, if she said she wanted to hear it.

Cadman shrugged. "Your choice. I'd sure as hell be okay with listenin', but it's your choice."

She tilted her head towards a table. "We gonna want to sit for this one? We can grab some stuff to munch on, and do the brain-picking thing." She frowned. "Purely figuratively, a' course."

After the Replicator mess, Cadman wasn't exactly trusting of any sort of interrogation that didn't involve good old-fashioned torture or simple questioning. There was something inherently wrong with folks- or, okay, in the case of Replicators, fucking machines- who could reach into your head and pick out whatever the hell they wanted. Just wasn't fair; wasn't natural.

"You sticking with danishes?" Ash asked, grabbing a cupcake for himself. "As for my story, it starts with a cabin in the woods."

He nodded towards a door. "There's an apartment upstairs, we can sit there."

Cadman wrinkled her nose, thinking. "Nah, one'a those cupcakes sounds good to me."

She laughed; Jesus Christ, that sounded like the intro to a horror movie. "Sounds like as good a place to start as any. Better'n some, even."

"Sounds good to me." She linked her arm through Ash's. "Lay on, Macduff."

Ash grabbed a couple more cupcakes and led his way up the stairs, talking as he went.

"Was me, my girlfriend, my sister, and two others. Then we found a tape recorder and played it. That... summoned a demon." He didn't really like this part.

Cadman could tell this part wasn't something Ash was proud of. She nudged him gently with her elbow in the ribs. "Idiot."

Her tone was affectionate; if Ash cared to look beyond the words, he'd be able to tell what Cadman was really saying: 'Shit happens. It sucks, you feel bad, then you deal.' and 'I'm sorry.' But even if they had known each other well enough for her to say those things, that wasn't Cadman's style.

So she just elbowed him again, and said- more quietly this time- "Idiot."

"Yeah, yeah," Ash said. He pushed open a door and gestured toward a couch. "I learned my lesson. They all got possessed and killed. And some of them came back after that, too."

Cadman let go of Ash's arm with a small squeeze- glad her words had been taken in the way she had meant them to be- and curled up on the couch, settling one leg beneath her and pulling the other up to her chest and resting her chin on it.

"Sounds like a bad situation, Ash. Wanna explain how the hell it happened? 'Cos it just sounds like one of Mitchell's fanboy zombie apocalypse fantasies right now."

"It's exactly like that," Ash said. "Demons possessing your friends, your girlfriend, doing your best to survive. There was this book that was the problem. The... Necronomicon."

Cadman nodded. "Sounds like bad horror, but since I work in a place straight outta Star Trek, I can't exactly judge."

She tilts her head consideringly. "tell me about the book, Ash."

"Not like I really knew what it was. Some sort of... book of the dead. Thing," Ash said.

Cadman rolled her eyes and heaved a frustrated sigh. "You'd think someone'd think to label that kind of shit. You know, 'Danger! This book will destroy humanity as you know it', the such."

She pulled off her shoes, then stretched out one leg and pressed her foot against Ash's leg; not hard, but enough for a steady pressure.

"Something tells me this book didn't exactly lead y'all to a day full of hugs and puppies."

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 3

Log; Completed.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject