tampered | Log; complete

Log; complete

When; Sunday, April 20th
Rating; PG-13
Characters; Boy Blue

playstheblues and Jack Harkness

handsomejack
Summary; Blue decides to find the Captain and sort things out.
Log;

Unlike some people, Blue wasn't afraid of the Underground. Once you spent four years living your life alone, with a sword and a cloak and a war-horn to keep you company, you lost your fear of dark and terrifying placed; that is, assuming you had that fear to begin with. Blue didn't.

He pulled the hood tighter over his head and ventured out, quietly, his footsteps falling softly. When one was hunting skittish prey, that was a necessary skill to have.

Of course, Blue was hunting skittish prey - one very skittish human Captain. He wondered briefly to himself why he was attracted to idiot men; first Cori, now Jack. Both of them idiots. Apparently brains didn't get programmed into 51st century men; or into nightmares. What a mess. Cori was worried, Jack was obviously worried, and Blue, well, Blue was a bit tired, after all was said and done. He needed to have this debacle sorted out. Really.

He spotted Jack, and moved fast, deciding that a running tackle probably wasn't necessary. Instead he lowered his hood. "You know, you won't find any answers down here. The monsters are bad at advice, and the only thing you're likely to find is a bad fight with Desire."

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Jack had been down in the Underground since early Friday. He'd genuinely been doing odd jobs for odd sorts of folks and he'd been paid well, mostly for not asking questions, doing the job and then leaving with his money without looking back. It wasn't all that different from the time before he'd hooked up with the Doctor and it allowed Jack to shut off that part of his mind that was fretful, fearful and a little heartbroke.

So far, he'd banked 25 Indigo, 175 Violets and a large sum in smaller coin. Literally, he'd banked the stuff stashing it safely away where he could get to it when he was finished with his weekend jobs. Money for the team, at least Jack tended to apply his ~~angsting, brooding, wibbling~~ melancholy in a positive direction.

He was a bit beat up, as should probably be expected, bruises on his face and his lip was split and puffy from numerous blows. He was fairly certain that his torso was now a nice map of black a blue marks but he didn't really care. The one thing he didn't have with him, strangely enough, was the Webley.

That had been his only stipulation in the jobs he took. No killing.

When Blue startled him, he quickly grabbed a metal bar -he'd gotten good at using what was at hand- whirling towards the threat, only to stop and fall back a step, shifting the bar in his battered hand, looking at Blue with annoyance.

"Blue ... "

He sighed and tossed the bar away, didn't play dumb or bandy idiotic words at the smaller man, both of them were probably too tired for that at this point.

Blue wasn't all the physically tired, and, truth be told, he was a little spoiled. Cori had spent a majority of the weekend pampering him, which was what Cori did when he felt unsure of himself.

The annoyance was clear on Jack's face, and Blue felt an old streak of irrational stubbornness come over him. He set his jaw and refused to let Jack's annoyance get to him. The other man was irrational, he told himself. That's why Faye hated men, he realized suddenly. Cori only had fourteen real years, and Jack had one hundred and fifty. Even Prince Charming was only six hundred. Under a millennium and they're not worth it Blue scowled to himself, even though he knew it wasn't true.

Blue crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. "I wanted to talk to you," he said quietly. "I need to talk to you. About Cori. About us." About your birdbrain notions. "Unless you don't think it's worth it."

Blue hoped Jack thought it was worth it. He didn't want to, but he would body check him if he had to.

Even though he stood taller than Blue, Jack felt the urge to lift his chin, as if facing off with a superior -something he had a lot of experience with and there was equal stubbornness in his own expression. At first, he defensively crossed his arms over his chest, making himself physically more commanding but at Blue's unless you don't think it's worth it a good deal of the piss and vinegar leaked out of the Captain and his arms fell to his sides.

He wanted to say it wasn't and that no doubt showed in his surprisingly expressive face but Jack had a hard time lying to Blue, especially to Blue's face. Eventually, his expression fell and he looked away from the fable, reaching up to fret at his hair with his hand.

"I won't cause problems, Blue. I know Cori's uncomfortable with my presence in your lives. I don't want to make him unhappy."

Edited 2008-04-20 21:07 (UTC)

Blue took a long sigh. "It's not that."

It was true; mostly, at any rate. Cori had been uncomfortable, for a little while; but Cori had gone about it the wrong way, as usual. "It's not you that Cori has a...okay," Blue said, thinking of a good way to explain it. "You need to understand something about Cori. He doesn't think like we do; he doesn't understand how anyone could be satisfied with just...being a friend with benefits, if love is involved."

Blue kicked one foot out. "He doesn't love a lot of things; his master because he has to, Matt because they're like brothers, and me. So he doesn't have a lot of frame of reference for love. He doesn't know how someone can love...unselfishly." He offered a hand out to Jack. "He doesn't hate you. In fact, he actually really likes you. You scared him and he did something beyond dumb, and the word sorry appears in his vocabulary once in every three hundred years, yeah..."

Blue stepped closer. "But he doesn't hate you. The other night, he was trying to apologize. He's worried you think that. He doesn't...he doesn't worry about that, unless he likes someone, okay?" Blue looked down. "He might never love you, you know. But he doesn't hate you."

Jack held himself back from Blue.

It was hard, something that no doubt showed in his eyes and perhaps in the fact that he couldn't bring himself to actually step back and away, yet he didn't move towards the hand reaching for him. The Captain watched Blue's face as the smaller man talked, obviously taking each word into consideration and he sighed softly.

"I'm not angry at Cori, Blue." He said, looking Blue in the eyes so that Blue could see the truth in his words written there. "I love him too."

Taking a breath, he finally broke his gaze away, nudging something on the ground with his toe as his body vibrated with energy.

"I can even understand how he gets from point A to point Z in that," Jack gave a little fond smile. "Utterly unique brain of his."

Pushing his hands into his pockets, Jack finally had to move though he didn't go far, more a pacing around Blue.

"Maybe that makes things worse, Blue. Because when I see that expression of cold anger on his face, see him respond to me as a threat ..." Jack shook his head. "It's heartbreaking to know I make him so miserable and by extension then put an additional strain on you."

Pausing, he turned to look at Blue.

"Maybe things got said that should have been kept out of the equation. I don't regret, telling you I love you or telling him I love him but it's not just words, Blue and for him to be happy and you and he to have the most out of the time you have left," Jack shrugged. "You don't smoother the things you love, you let them have their joy. It's all right, Blue. I won't forget the weeks we had."

Blue frowned.

Usually, when Blue frowned like that, Cori got anxious, even though Cori never had a reason to get anxious. But in Fabletown, people knew, when Blue frowned like that, it was a reason to start getting out the way. It usually meant that the limit to Blue's limitless patience was wearing thin, that he was close to an act of violence.

The act of violence came with a secure and firm punch to the mouth. "Don't give me that tripe," Blue said, pissed for once; not business angry, but truly angry. "Don't pretend that you're doing this for me, or for Cori. You're doing this because you're scared; and fear isn't something I'm going to let ruin anything I like. I'm a greedy bastard, maybe, but you don't get to run away from me like that."

He hissed, "I waited two hundred years for the woman I loved to come, and when she did she tortured me, she broke my hands, and I found out that she was an old witch who hated everything I cared about. I deserve a little bit of selfishness, okay!"

He sat down. "It's not all right." Blue curled his head on his knees. "It's not all right if you think that because Cori got scared once, because he was an idiot one time it means that you get so say stuff like that to me."

It took a lot to knock Jack Harkness on his ass. He was a big man, who knew how to carry himself in a fist fight and how to take a punch. That said, Blue was a hell of a lot stronger than he looked and his fist landed on the split lip which split back open again, distracting Jack. The larger man took a stumbling step back, almost landing on his ass, saved only by the fact that Blue hadn't put his whole strength into that punch.

Reaching up to touch his bleeding mouth, Jack stood there with his legs splayed, looking for all the world like a disgraced colt while Blue lit into him with words that landed blows ten times stronger than his fists. Jack's resolve remained strong up to the point where Blue sat down, head on his knees and then Jack felt the full weight of his confusion and uncertainty come racing back in.

Slowly he walked over and lowered himself down beside Blue. He didn't reach for the younger man, just in case Blue was in the mood to bean him again and he wiped his bloodied mouth with the back of his sleeve before leaning forward with his arms on his knees.

"Well," he began quietly. "You know me, I'd argue that you deserve a lot more than just a little bit of selfishness."

Yes, someone was fairly well wrapped around Blue's little finger.

Blue looked up, and he was scowling, but it wasn't the frown he had earlier. "Don't do what Cori did. If you honestly don't want us, then don't have us. But don't...don't leave because of one stupid incident that Cori feels bad about. Only leave because you want to. Only...only leave because you don't think that you'll be happy." Blue felt fear in his gut. He knew that part of his situation meant that he couldn't keep Jack, not if he wanted to be fair, not if Jack would be happier somewhere else. It made him panic; just a little. He would be okay, if that happened, but he was scared anyway.

He moved in closer, to signal that he didn't mind being touched. "You said you were okay. That you would be okay. If you think you'll be more fulfilled with someone else, I don't want you to think I'd...be offended."

He looked up, his blue eyes sure, his face quiet and still. "Just don't be stupid about it. Just don't do it...if you don't want to. Don't do it for some stupid reason." Stay with us.

"I didn't leave because I wanted to go to someone else," Jack explained softly. It was true that Ianto was here now but their relationship had been as much about forgiveness, acceptance and ... well the sex was good and then there was the coffee. Jack would always care for Ianto but that was as much because Ianto was part of his team and Jack loved his team.

What was happening with Cori and Blue though, was different. It was a love outside his team, outside his responsibilities. The fable and the nightmare offered a peacefulness and a comfort that Jack ... maybe needed in a lot of ways, though he also just loved the pair for their own unique personalities. Blue's strange mixture of innocence and yet the strength of his worldliness, Cori's determination, his loyalty to those he cared about and his wisdom -not counting the moments of stupidity- when he could walk a mortal through the landscape of their nightmares.

Both of them were special to Jack.

"It wasn't to go to someone else," he repeated, hanging his head a little. It was just to be alone.

He took a breath and turned towards Blue, tentatively reaching out to touch his hand.

"I just didn't want to keep pushing myself where I wasn't wanted."

Jack often seemed indestructible. Given what had happened to him in his relatively short 150 years, it could be argued that he was fairly psychologically strong and this would be correct. But when it came to those few rare moments, when someone truly got past all his walls and all his defensive mechanisms, Jack was hopelessly vulnerable. Almost as shy and fragile as a school boy and Blue wasn't wrong when he accused Jack of being scared.

Blue gripped Jack's hand, carefully, like he held an instrument that he was fixing. Like Jack would break, if he held on too tightly. He knew damaged things, just like he recognized damaged people. Like saw like, he thought. "Stop thinking that." He squeezed a little, as if that would hold Jack together. "You're not allowed to think something that's such a horrible and obvious lie."

He pulled himself a little closer, so that they touched, just at the sides. "Don't let Cori scare you. I know he's a nightmare, that's his job, but even then. Don't let me scare you, either."

He gave Jack's hand a reassuring pat. "Let me take care of you. Let me take care of you, and of Cori, okay? Cori's just confused, he's not really threatened."

He leaned forward and gave Jack a very soft kiss, tasting the blood from the split that he had caused. He deepened it carefully; as if Jack would bolt at any second.

Jack wanted to clarify that he didn't fear Cori because he was a nightmare. He just feared the pain that had come from Cori's coldness on Thursday. It had been crushing to see a look of such utter disgust from someone Jack loved and cared about so deeply.

The idea of Blue wanting to take care of him was a genuine shock and that probably showed in Jack's eyes in the moment before Blue kissed him. It had been so very very long since anyone had said such words to him and been someone Jack felt comfortable allowing that close. He was the 'Captain' it was a persona he took seriously and the thought of letting his guard down was almost alien to him.

Except when it came to Blue. A 1200 year old fable, who looked like a sixteen year old, boy next door from Pleasantville. The Universe really was a funny place sometimes.

Jack trembled a little when Blue kissed him, partially afraid he'd unwittingly fallen asleep and was dreaming because after Thursday he had never expected to be kissed again by either Blue or Cori. Jack's lips softened as Blue deepened the kiss, his mouth parting slightly in unspoken invitation as one of the Captain's large hands came up to lightly cradle the side of the fable's face.

Blue slipped his tongue between Jack's lips, cautious, his thumb tracing the Captain's cheekbones. He kissed him for another minute, before he broke apart the kiss and looked at Jack, looked him right in the eye.

Prince Charming said that Blue responded to affection; that he loved where he was loved, that he loved people who loved him. He didn't know if that was true. He did fall in love easily, but it was stubborn to make him fall out of love, and it was stubborn to make him give it up easily. He had never had so many people romantically love him before, and he returned it with equal enthusiasm.

"What do you want?" He asked. He meant it in whatever way Jack chose to interpret it; but then he asked another question. "Will you be okay with what we can give you, if it isn't all of us?"

That was important; it was important to Cori, which made it important to Blue. This wasn't a real relationship, but it was real all that same. Cori thought in terms of all or nothing when it came to love but not to sex, and in a way, Blue was the opposite.

The Captain was quiet for quite some time as he tried to put his thoughts into some sort of order and the right words. He was desperate to make sure he used the right words, because there had been so much confusion over the past few days, he didn't want to backslide away from the progress Blue had made in coming down here to find him.

Eventually, he turned and looked at the fable.

"I want you and Cori to be a part of my life," he said simply. "My life involves my team, my friends, the threats to Time and Space and the Doctor. But I want you and Cori there as well, as a very special part of all that and all I want ... is to be welcome, to be held, to be cared about."

It might have been that if Jack had said those words to anyone else, they wouldn't have heard what Blue did. He had spent a long time saying some variation, or another, of those words, at least to himself. It was always to himself.

He recognized how lonely Jack was, and a part of himself responded to that. He leaned forward and pulled the Captain close; it was something that he did often to Cori but was very poor at doing with most everyone else. He held him, quietly, carefully, for a long time, like the quiet would shatter and everything would fall to pieces.

"Okay," he said. "I can do that."

Jack was lonely.

It was something he'd struggled with admitting to himself because it seemed so strange that a man who made friends so easily, had his team, had people in his life that he cared about, could be lonely. But it was the truth. It was why he sought out the Doctor now and then, because the Time Lord understood where the loneliness came from, the self isolation not because you risked losing people but because you had to be something that most people would come to hate in time.

Because somebody had to stand that line.

Closing his eyes he leaned, tentatively down towards Blue's shoulder as if this was something he had very little experience doing and wasn't quite sure how to go about it.

"You can really hurt me, Blue." He said softly, without any judgment or expectation. He was simply admitting the truth of the situation. Letting someone in as close as the fable had wriggled in, was dangerous for Jack and he was scared to death.

Blue reached a hair to pet at the back of the Captain's hair, and he nodded. That's what love was, he realized; the power to exercise injury onto someone, and the trust that they wouldn't do it. That's what love had been when he trusted Ride, and she had betrayed it; just like that's what love was with Cori. The ability to break someone, and to not do it.

"I won't betray you," he said softly, his hold on Jack getting tighter. "Just...don't jump to conclusions," he said with a smile, letting Jack feel it by pressing his lips casually against the Captain's cheek. "You can always ask me anything. I don't lie." Not even when I want to take the easy way out. He pulled Jack closer, moving into the Captain's lap. Sometimes being the smaller party really sucked. He wasn't a girl; at least in this case, no one had to be reminded of that.

He sat there, quietly. "Tell me when you're ready, and then I'll walk you home."

For all that he occasionally seemed to have all the patience in the world, Jack was actually a fairly reactive individual and anyone who knew him well would probably tell Blue that Jack tended to react first and stop to think about things later. After 150 years, you'd think he'd have settled but it might take a couple thousand more!

He liked the tight hold and though he was obviously rusty at relaxing into such care, used to being the hugger, not the huggee. He was getting better at it, grinning a little in response to Blue's kiss on his cheek and then carefully gathering the smaller man into his lap. He didn't mind lap fulls of Blue. He expected this was a trait he and Cori shared.

Nodding, Jack just sat there for a long time, perhaps as long as twenty minutes. It was stillness that was rare to unheard of for the Captain but he was quiet as a mouse.

Eventually he shifted and pressed a shy kiss to Blue's cheek.

"Come on."

Blue stood, shifting off Jack's lap and stood up next to him. He smiled up at him, honestly, the smile genuine as he offered his hand. "Come on," he said, repeating Jack's words. "I bet your team is making at mess at your apartment without you."

Little did he know the truth to that statement. Blue hadn't been on the Network at all since the early evening the night and he didn't know about Gwen's current condition. That noted, he was patient and let Jack set the pace of returning aboveground.

It didn't matter. He was pacified.

Yeah, Blue's words were going to prove to be ... quite prophetic!

For the moment, however, Jack was relaxed, calm and content. He took Blue's hand and came gracefully to his feet. Walking along with the fable, he began to very gently poke and ask questions about how Blue's piano lessons/computer lessons with Tosh were coming along.

Really, he was like the worst nosy big brother when it came to his team and this was his way of being playful, if perhaps a bit silly as they walked.

Blue refused to answer any questions. He took Jack right to his door, and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Take care. I'll talk to you soon," he assured him. "And I promise, you'll find out the results of the lessons sooner, rather than later."

He turned and smiled a little to himself, proud of his solution, before he lifted his hood and disappeared.

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