tampered | Log; Ongoing

Cadman shut the front door quietly, hoping against hope McKay was in his room, or out somewhere.

Ever since they fucked, things had been awkward. She mentally sighed. Good Christ, she was even lying to herself, now. Things were a little weird after the whole 'getting naked and sweaty together' thing, but they didn't get downright painful until the Mirror City curse. Not like she could blame McKay, what with her evil bitch twin saying all the shit she did, but... awkward sucked. So Cadman had mostly been out, the last few weeks; over at Ash's, tooling around the City, basically anywhere but home with McKay. And while finally having semi-regular (and fantastic) sex again was great, Cadman was starting to feel kind of guilty for avoiding home, and goddammit, she missed her own kitchen.

Hence grabbing a beer and dropping a kiss on Ash's cheek on her way out the door, picking up some dinner, and quietly letting herself back into the apartment, where- dammit- McKay sat on the couch, hunched over his laptop.

Cadman considering turning around and leaving, but Marines don't run, and even if they did, judging by the tightening of McKay's shoulders, he had already heard her come in. Time to face the music.

She headed into the kitchen to put the food away, calling over her shoulder, "Hey, McKay. You eaten yet? Brought home some food for us t' have for dinner."

"Oh, so you've actually come home, now, have you?" McKay said, closing his laptop and folding his arms. "I was beginning to think you'd just moved out."

Hidden behind the icebox door, Cadman rolled her eyes and mimicked McKay's snark silently, then responded, purposely keeping her tone light. "Nah, jus' been out an' about, here an' there. Found myself missin' your dulcet tones an' scurried on back, McKay."

She rose from behind the icebox. "So, you gonna be wantin' some food or not, McKay? Nice as th' cool feels, I can't exactly stand here with th' door open waitin' on your answer all night."

"Yes, I'll eat," Rodney says, kicking up his feet. "Do I want to know where you've been? At least you seem injury free."

Cadman rolled her eyes again. "A 'why thank you, Cadman, I'd love some food! Thank you for tryin' t' take care a' my ungrateful ass yet again so I don't waste away like some kind a' hibernatin' cave beast,' wouldn't go amiss, McKay."

Still, tellingly, even as she bitched, Cadman was pulling more food out- citrus free; they had been selling some amazing looking beef carpaccio, but meat soaked in lemon juice was not something to bring home with Rodney McKay in the house- for McKay.

She set the food on one of the counters, then pulled down two plates and started serving up dinner for both of them, shaking her head when she realized somewhere along the way she had become well versed in Rodney's favorite foods. She brought the plates over to the couch, and settled in next to Rodney, took a bite, then shrugged, and finally. "Like I said, been out an' about. Was over with Ash for a bit, an' been wanderin'." A pause. "Not that it's any a' your nevermind, McKay. 'M a big girl, an' I can take care a' myself."

"In a town where magic isn't just hyperbole, I have to worry," McKay said. "Even you and your... pyromania might not manage to be enough."

He paused, and added.

"I'm glad you're okay, okay?"

Cadman opened her mouth, and shut it without saying anything. That was... kind of sweet, in McKay's own awkward way, and Cadman found herself both touched and slightly embarrassed.

"Uh..." she took a big bite of food, and took her time chewing, struggling to think of something more than flippant, and less than soppy. "Thanks, McKay. I... worry about you, too."

And time for more food, and maybe time to turn on a fan or AC or to stick her head under the faucet, because her red face? Just meant it was too hot in here. Laura Cadman did not blush. That was her story, and she was sticking to it.

Edited 2008-06-15 02:08 (UTC)

"And that's why I stay here. Especially after hearing reports of some person re-enacting the Saw movies last week," McKay said. "You... what did you bring home, by the way?"

Cadman nodded her head at McKay's plate. "That." Off McKay's look, "Jus' eat it, McKay. You'll see." She held up a hand, stopping any protests. "No citrus, I swear on my gran'ma's grave."

"Yes, because normally I think you're out to poison me," Rodney says, taking the plate. "Have you... heard from Kate lately?"

"McKay, when we left Atlantis, you were still tellin' th' mess staff shit they'd known since since b'fore y'all left Earth. You think everyone is tryin' t' poison you. Gimme a break, okay?"

Cadman sighed and shook her head. "You neither?" She bit her lip, worried. "Was hopin' I jus' missed her, all th' runnin' around I been doin' lately."

"I would say 'maybe she got lucky and went home', but..." McKay decided that shoving a bunch of food in his mouth instead of getting emotional was a good plan.

Cadman shrugged uncomfortably. "Yeah, well." She followed McKay's example and shoveled down more food, staring longingly into the kitchen, at her icebox full of beer.

She set down her plate and raised an eyebrow at McKay questioningly. "Gonna grab a beer. Want one while I'm up?"

"Is it drinkable beer?" McKay asked.

Cadman rolled her eyes- yet again, McKay seemed to bring it out in her- and chuckled. "'S fuckin' Molson, McKay. Should be Canadian enough for you. Ain't gonna serve you American beer, no worries."

"Good," McKay said. "That puts you a leg up on Sheppard, at least."

Cadman laughed. "Shep did like his Bud an' Miller, huh?" She grinned reminiscently. "Gave Ronon some Canadian beer after a Daedalus run once, an' then told 'im t' mess with Shep next time Shep wanted some Miller Time." A laugh. "Shep never did figure out which one a' us spoiled Ronon 'bout good beer, but Lorne was stuck with even more paperwork for a while."

McKay smiled, a little forlornly. "Oh, Lorne. It's sad when I miss even him, you know?"

Cadman reached over and whacked McKay lightly on the shoulder and moved into the kitchen, grabbing two beers from the icebox. After a moment's thought, she grabbed a bag of grapes and closed the fridge door.

"Evan was a great guy an' a great XO, McKay, an' you jus' shut your trap 'bout him, hear me?" Good natured, for all the apparent censure to her words. "While you an' Shep were off playin' Intergalactic Geeks On A Mission, he was keepin' th' home fires burnin', make no mistake."

Edited 2008-06-15 03:21 (UTC)

"Yes, well... I'm glad I'm stuck with you instead of him, anyway," McKay said. "And no hitting!"

Cadman scoffed. "Your words are sweeter'n honey from the fuckin' rock, McKay. Be still my goddamn heart."

"Don't be a baby, McKay, I barely touched you an' you know it." She leaned over and lightly whapped McKay's arm again. "An' I'll hit you if I feel like." Giving into childish impulse, she stuck out her tongue and smirked. "So fuckin' there."

"What do you expect?" McKay said. "I mean, part of our entire... whatever this is, is based on the fact we're the only ones we really have from home."

Cadman raised an eyebrow and held up a hand. "McKay, don't fuckin' tell me..."

She scoffed. "Goddamn you, Rodney McKay."

She grabbed her beer and stalked into the kitchen, shaking her head disbelievingly. "McKay. I know you ain't exactly charmer a' th' goddamn year, an' God forbid I ask you t' lie t' me, but goddamn do you know how t' make me feel like a whore with a minimum a' words, son."

She begins 'cleaning' in the kitchen, generally slamming things around and wiping down already clean counters, hoping to vent her anger with McKay without punching him in his smug, thoughtless face.

...Repeatedly.

She muttered to herself as she cleaned, mostly a combination of, "Un-fuckin'-believable," "stupid man" "never should a' left Ash's place".

Finally, she slammed a fist down on the counter, then shook her head. "You tellin' me you fucked me 'cos I served on Atlantis, McKay? It could a' been Brown, Teyla, Miko... hell, Lorne or Shep or Ronon, an' you would a' screwed them inta th' goddamn mattress, too?" She scoffed. "I gotta wonder if you been slippin' it t' Kate too, while she was here?" She took a long swallow of beer. "God fuckin' dammit, McKay."

Edited 2008-06-15 03:44 (UTC)

McKay rolled his eyes. "Yes, I would say we were forging something beyond that, except someone decided to run away from me. If anyone feels used, it should be me!"

"...Excuse me?" She let out a choked half-laugh. "You tellin' me I used you?"

She shook her head disbelievingly. "Fuck this shit, McKay."

She snagged her keys off the counter. "I'm headin' back t' Ash's, 'less you got reason for me t' stay." She glared at him. "See, I can blow Ash an' he can fuck me without it bein' about which goddamn CO I served under, an' he doesn't treat me like a fuckin' whore for it."

"Who the hell is treating you like a whore?" McKay said.

Cadman, halfway to the door, whirled around. "You, you asshole!" Plans to leave momentarily forgotten, Cadman stalked back to the couch and poked McKay hard in the chest with a finger. "You tell me you fucked me 'cos you missed Atlantis, an' you ask me who is goddamn treatin' me like a whore?" Her voice rose with every word until, by the end, she was nearly yelling. "You got some fuckin' nerve, son, an' balls a' steel t' boot, 'cos you are crusin' t' get my goddamn boot up your ass."

"Yes. The fact that you're a beautiful woman with a strangely endearing personality never entered into it," McKay shot back. "I swear, Cadman, you are looking for ways to get pissed about this. How do you think that makes me feel?"

Cadman deflated, and sat down next to McKay. "McKay."

No response.

"Rodney." She rolled her eyes. "Look, I..." She sighed in frustration. "It ain't like you been shoutin' your regard for me from th' goddamn rooftops, Rodney. What th' hell was I supposed t' think?"

"You. Weren't. Here," McKay said, carefully. "It's very hard for me to share anything, especially now that I know you're just running off to someone else's bed."

Cadman regained some of her righteous anger. "Now, you got a goddamn Network hookup jus' like th' rest a' us, McKay, an' you didn't exactly track me down, so don't you go placin' all this on me, son."

She crossed her arms over her chest and coolly stared at McKay. "Now, you listen here. Ash is a good friend an' a damn good bed partner t' boot, an' you got no call t' try an' make me feel bad about sleepin' with him. You have no right, no claim, McKay, an' I don't take kindly t' you tryin' t' act like you do."

McKay turned away for a moment, frowning.

"Well then, I guess we don't need to talk about this at all," he said, distress obvious in his voice.

Cadman sighed. "McKay, for such a smart man, you're a fuckin' idiot."

She grabbed his shoulder, and used her hard-earned strength to turn him to face her. "You ain't got th' right 'cos you ain't told me you want that right, you moron."

"...well I do," Rodney said. "You're the only person I can trust anymore."

Cadman opened and closed her mouth, then sighed. "Rodney, I..."

She swallowed. "Not that I don't... appreciate you wantin' me an' you t' be exclusive, but... I need more'n that, babe." She settled back into the couch, arms crossed protectively over her chest. "Not for nothin', babe, but I ain't willin' t' give up A-" she cut herself off, "Certain things, just 'cos you're feelin' uncertain an' lonely. I'm gonna be here for you come hell'r high water either way, Rodney, but I'm not gonna settle, not for someone who doesn't really want me, an' all that comes with."

"Is it possible for a... trial run?" Rodney said. "I don't do this sort of thing well, Cadman, you know that. I... want to try, though."

"...Gonna need t' spell it out t' me, McKay. We go inta somethin', I wanna know what I'm gettin' into, yeah?" Cadman shrugged. "Know you ain't exactly th' best at spellin' out what you're feelin', but... gonna have t' do it, this time."

"I like you," Rodney says. "You've spent time in my head, for crisesake. You are beautiful and I trust you implicitly, and, well... I think I could, you know, love you. Given time and intimacy."

Cadman sighed. "Rodney, not that I don't want you, want this, but..." A pause. "You're a helluva more likely t' break my heart than I am yours, babe, an' I don't wanna start somethin' worried a week later you'll change your mind an' come t' your senses an' look for a way out."

"I'm not out of my senses," McKay said. "I... damn it, I wish I could assure you this isn't just a momentary madness."

"Rodney, I think..." She sighed, tried to organize her thoughts. "I think you're missin' home an' you're scared, an' what scares me is knowin' that I don't know how much a' that is why you want me." Cadman sighed again, and brought her legs up on the couch and tucked her knees up against her chest.

"Gonna be honest here, McKay. As much as you drive me crazy an' make me wanna shoot th' first thing I see that pisses me off sometimes, wantin' you ain't new. So... I stand t' lose a bit more'n you with this one if things go sour, an' I ain't lookin' forward t' it."

"I... promise I will do my best to make this good for you," McKay said.

Cadman sighed. "Yeah, well..." Oh, what the hell. "Don't make me regret this one, McKay."

She moved across the couch, straddled Rodney's lap, and grinned down at him.. "Seal it with a kiss?"

McKay smiled. "I suppose, yes, that would probably be best."

Log; Ongoing

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