tampered | (no subject)

(no subject)

When; 31st of August.
Rating; G.
Characters; Hiyori Tamura

doujin_dork and Himemiya Chikane

bluesatellite.
Summary; Hiyori and Chikane go for a walk to talk some things out.
Log;

Chikane stood by the Square, watching people pass by. She never obviously stared at anyone but her manners didn't stop her from feeling curious. So many different worlds, represented by equally different people forced into socializing with each other by the infernal ticking noise.

By Deities, destiny or whichever one preferred. Free will? Mn. If you were insanely optimistic.

Hopefully, Hiyori would be here soon. Talking to friends kept other thoughts at bay. Besides, the puppy by her side was getting impatient, wagging her tail from side to side and pulling at the leash. Such a lively creature.

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Hiyori knew that she needed to do something. Even though everyone said that they forgave her for that curse where she was mean to everyone, it still made her uncomfortable to think about. This wouldn't fix everything, but if she could do something to make Chikane and Himeko happier, maybe that would make some of her actions not so bad.

She walked into the square until she saw the blue-haired girl, and she shouted out, waving. "Chikane! How are you? Oh! You have a dog? How cute!"

Giving a small wave in return, Chikane gave a slight pull on the leash, saying quietly, "Kiku, sit!" The puppy happily ignored her, concentrating on the approaching girl instead. A long way to go...

"Fine, thank you Hiyori-san. The dog... belongs to Kurusugawa-san." Chikane smiled, happy that at least this friendship seemed wholly unchanged. Keeping friends... she hadn't had to make an effort back home but at least it wasn't overly complicated. "I'm simply taking it for a walk."

Oh yes, the important part. The social part. "And how are you?"

"Mm. That's good to hear." The puppy seemed a little too excited for her liking. She really hoped it was a calm one. "Oh, that's nice when did she get it?" It was nice seeing Chikane smile. She doubted that by the end of this walk she would be so happy.

"Oh, me? I've been pretty good. I've had a few things on my mind."

It didn't surprise Chikane to hear that Hiyori had something on her mind. People usually did. She was a bit surprised at being confided in. True, Himeko did it all the time - but that was Himeko and she wasn't comparable to anyone, at any time. In Mahoroba, people automatically assumed that Chikane wasn't interested in their troubles. They were usually right.

However. This was Hiyori and if she had things to talk about, Chikane would listen as a friend should.

The puppy skipped ahead, the leash an obvious annoyance as Kiku turned her head and bit at it, trying to grab it between her teeth. So undiciplined.

"I bought Kiku for her a few days ago," she said with a shrug. "Considering the ticking, companionship is always good." She shook the leash as Kiku started pulling on it and said, "No!" with as much authority as she could manage.

"Ah, but Hiyori-san... things on your mind?"

She watched the puppy behave in the typical fashion. That was a good thing. Maybe this one wouldn't be so bad, then. She had been wary of dogs ever since Minami-chan's had growled at her.

She missed her high school friends.

"Aah, that's a good idea." Wait, they were living together again, right? She just meant companionship for times like these, didn't she? Well, she would definitely be finding out today anyways.

Of course. After the recent curse, how could she not have things on her mind? She was sure Chikane also was suffering from it pretty badly. "M-Mm. That curse the other week. Where it showed us what we could have been."

"Mn." Chikane could still hear Himeko's flustered, embarrassed stutter as she tried to understand why she was being pushed away so suddenly. It was exactly like last time - just like Himeko, thinking that she had to be at fault, not stopping to think that Chikane might have had reasons for doing what she did.

In the past, this strangely childlike and innocent behaviour had been a tool. Now, it was an obstacle of immense proportions. Waking up the day after to an empty apartment...

Not something Chikane wanted to try again any time soon.

And Hiyori had been cursed as well, hadn't she? It had been quite the change. "A very unpleasant curse, I think, compared to the tamer ones." 'Unpleasant', yes certaintly. Hurting Himeko was beyond unpleasant.

But it could have been much worse.

"Yeah. You got cursed by it too, right?" Quite the change didn't quite measure up to how Hiyori had been. She'd been rude- no, terrible to nearly everyone she knew. She had looked down upon those who she interpreted as weaker than her, but in the end, when she had the opportunity to come face-to-face with someone who might have destroyed the world, she had been the one who was weak.

Actually. Chikane was one of the few people she had liked. Kind of ironic, really, considering that's who she was walking with now.

"I did, yes. Very unfortunate, for the Deities to mess around with our emotions and relations in such a manner." And they hadn't cared about it, either. About destroying and potentially breaking bonds between people; about all the words that might have been spoken when they shouldn't ever be.

It could have been horrible for Chikane if Himeko hadn't been the kind of person that she was.

"Luckily, a curse is only that, ne? A curse and nothing else." Putting those things behind her - like many other things - was easy. Forgetting Himeko's reaction during the Memory Theater curse was equally as easy.

Chikane told herself such things on a daily basis and she really sort of believed it, too.

"Mm, that curse was at least not so bad for some people. But really bad for others. I hope it doesn't happen again. We kind of had the same thing happening to us, didn't we?" Hurting those they cared about. That was truly the curse she hated most.

But Himeko had been really badly affected by Chikane. "You two did move back in together, right?"

Interestingly, the puppy wasn't pulling on the leash as much anymore. Or maybe Chikane just didn't notice it, preoccupied as she was with the conversation. It was going in a direction she hadn't expected.
"Of course. It was only a curse." She didn't want to elaborate much more on the specifics. Even if Hiyori was a friend, it just wasn't the kind of thing Chikane would burden anyone with. Her problems, her issues - and Himeko's, to an extent. But Himeko would endure. She always did. The things Chikane had said during the curse were, as far as Himeko knew, not even close to reality.

Things had been more complicated than that but past was past. "Even if my behaviour was less than stellar. Like yours, as you say. Kurusugawa-san is quite the perfect friend." True, that. A perfect everything, really, if only she would stay this way forever...

"What about you, Hiyori-san? I'm sure your friends were understanding as well?"

That was Chikane. She never really elaborated into her personal life and how she felt too often. But it wasn't out of anything negative, she was pretty sure.

And then she said it. It was seemingly the best possible way of veering into that conversation that would probably happen. She absolutely couldn't mess up this chance. "Mm. They were. Everyone was." She inaudibly gulped and took a steadying breath. Well, it was now or never. "Himeko-chan is really great. She really likes you, you know." Good. That was good. Plus, if things went really badly, she could always say that she meant platonically.

For a few seconds, Chikane simply stared at Hiyori. Really, really likes...

No matter what she was implying, Chikane knew she shouldn't approve. Those were Himeko's feelings, not for Chikane to know or pry into. Himeko and Hiyori had a different friendship, one that Chikane didn't entirely understand - whatever they chose to confide in each other was no one's business but their own, even if Chikane would never share such private things with others.

Looking away quickly, she tried to keep her curiosity from showing on her face. She knew how Himeko felt about her - in this incarnation and in the one she'd loved equally as much. She knew they didn't feel the same way; and it felt ludicrous now to even pretend that Himeko would be as twisted romantically as Chikane was. An insult, really.

"I would hope she finds me an adequate friend, certainly," she said, keeping her voice a tad bit cooler than usual. "Either way, I really shouldn't..." She trailed off. She'd done so many horrible things already. Did it really matter so much at this point; honour and pride, formalities?

If Himeko really did like her, nothing else mattered.

"She already told me she... likes having me as a friend, Hiyori-san." Her voice sounded weak in her ears, barely louder than a whisper. "I'm grateful for that, truly."

Hiyori was not the brightest bulb in the box, but she was paying extra attention right now, to make sure she caught any subtleties. And oh boy, were there subtleties. The hesitant pause before she spoke, the turning away, the careful choosing of the words. It was good that she had come to know Chikane more, or she might have missed some of these.

She was about to respond, when Chikane spoke again. She'd never heard her voice so soft. This . . . was going well. "Mm. Of course. But that's not the only way it could be taken, is it? Just friendship."

They were definitely moving into dangerous territory. She knew how it could be taken - she knew, because she remembered the way Himeko had kissed her before her death.

She also knew that this world, this Himeko, was different.

"Friendship is all I'm asking for." She didn't particularly want to tell Hiyori what she really wanted - though sometimes, her friend had an almost uncanny way of guessing her out, as if her feelings were just that obvious all the time. Maybe they were; Chikane always felt psychologically naked in social situations.

She had hoped this wasn't so obvious. Considering Himeko's reaction when they last spoke of it...

Chikane didn't want to be idolized. But she didn't want to be hated or pitied either, not by anyone and definitely not by Himeko. Other people could, essentially, think whatever they wanted - but this... wanting Himeko the way she did...

Love was difficult enough by itself.

This was actually going a lot easier than she had anticipated; sure, not how Chikane was reacting, but how easy it was to respond to what she was saying. She had had this sort of dialogue in some of her own works, so it was practically second nature to her.

It's not like she thought of Chikane as just some character anymore, though, it was just a lot easier to respond to her once she'd actually written this sort of thing out. "But is friendship all you want?" And personalize it a little, of course. "Chikane, you remember that curse where memories were displayed on the network, right?" Heck, Hiyori was surprised nothing came of that. It was pretty obvious to most people. They probably just needed to get over that fear that each of them had.

If she remembered? Gods, she remembered much too clearly. How could she not, when...

She took a deep breath. It wasn't Hiyori's fault, it wasn't anyone's fault except maybe her own. Pushing Himeko to feeling things she didn't want to feel... it was unworthy of her. As a noble, as a leader and, most of all, as a friend.

Such a mistake would not be repeated. Not now, not ever.

"I remember. It was quite unpleasant, like most curses here." She didn't want to answer Hiyori's first question, but ignoring it completely would be impolite. "I couldn't possibly ask for more than Kurusugawa-san's friendship. It's a generous gift, as we both know." She paused before continuing.

"Hiyori-san. Aren't you grateful for having her as a friend?"

"Mm. It did have a pretty bad aftereffect, many people were affected poorly by that curse." Darn. She thought that would have helped. And she figured that would be her response to if she wanted more than just friendship. That's why she asked about the other curse in the first place.

But- Oh, she was switching it on her now? That was interesting. She wondered vaguely what was going on in Chikane's head to ask such a question. "Am I grateful? Of course. Himeko-chan's a really great friend." But she wasn't the one that was in love with her, now was she? "You are too."

"And likewise, Hiyori-san." It hadn't been her intention to elicit praise in any way - quite odd, how whimsical social interaction could be. She left it at that, her thoughts too messy and rumbled to continue with the pleasantries. "Thank you. But imagine. Imagine all that she gives a person, her friendliness and her trust, her humour and her innocence." It's like that, Chikane knows, with almost everyone Himeko takes in - it's who she is.

"Imagine that it disappears. Everything. Not because she pulls away from you for whatever reason - that's almost unthinkable - but because you've killed it with questions and doubts and egotistical intentions."

She realised that her voice had fallen in volume steadily. Her last words were almost a whisper, "I am grateful for her friendship, Hiyori-san, because everything she gives is so precious and so easily broken."

And I will not be the cause of that once more, she thought, almost unwillingly.

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