tampered | Log; Complete

The knock startled Justin and sent Neith darting out of the room. It was unexpected; then again, Road herself was unexpected.

Justin thought he should be somewhat anxious about Road's visit. She was clearly more powerful than she looked, and there was something unsettling about her than he couldn't quite put into words. Her easy acceptance of his refusal to carry out their plans had unnerved him, as well. Still, he had agreed to have her over. Justin could easily attribute his suspicions to his over-analysis of the situation. Perhaps Road wasn't normal, but she was nice enough, and he didn't have any reason to be wary of her...

After making sure his apartment was presentable (it always was, considering how spare it was), Justin opened the door to let Road in. "Hello." He stepped back, adding an unnecessary, "You knocked."

"Hi Justin!" She chirped cheerfully, already making her way into the apartment. "Of course I knocked, shouldn't I have?"

Road made herself at home, curled up on an armchair. She smiled at him, in her cute little girl persona, acting sweet and friendly and oh so~ normal. Someone from her family would know quite well what that meant, but with anyone who wasn't too used to her, well. She was forced to spend enough time around humans to know how to make a passable attempt at fitting in.

"How've you been~? Busy?" She tilted her head as she asked the question, genuinely curious, but also wanting him to be at ease. Well, somewhat at ease, just to start off with.

"You didn't need to."

Justin closed the door and took the chair opposite Road, as he had the first time she visited. He smiled back at her, still entertaining paranoid thoughts; he knew from experience with Richard that outward friendliness didn't always indicate a lack of danger. Logically, though, wouldn't Road have made her move immediately if she was upset about his indecisiveness? Richard had never been one to wait.

Road's questions interrupted Justin's train of thought before he could mentally talk himself into being nervous. "Sort of," he replied, relaxing back into his chair and opting to leave out the revelation that an insectoid creature was attacking people in the City. After a moment, Justin recalled the typical nicety that any response to "how've you been" required. "And you? How're you?"

"Okay~ then. Next time I won't, if you'd rather not."

Even if Road didn't know what he was thinking, she would have been able to guess. Waiting a bit, pretending that she didn't really mind, it had worked, for now, he was the slightest bit less on guard.

"Just sort of? No details?" she shrugged at him, "Oh well~, then." She shifted positions in her chair, making herself more comfortable. "I've been okay! A bit bored, but I'm almost getting used to it." Which was a complete lie, of course, since Road would never ever settle for being bored. "I've been helping Grell get better. The poor thing was hurt so badly."

"Oh! I almost forgot. I got you a present~. Do you want it?" Road looked at him, eager to see what his response would be.

Truth be told, Justin preferred knowing when he was being invaded, but it wouldn't do to revoke Road's permission to barge in unannounced. Complicated social rules--this was why he didn't usually bother with them.

"Just police things." Vague, but police information was supposed to be classified (and even if it wasn't classified, Justin felt a sense of self-importance thinking so). He unconsciously shifted to a more comfortable position himself, earlier uneasy thoughts largely forgotten. "You don't need to get used to being bored. ...Is Grell okay?"

Road neatly piqued Justin's interest at the mention of a present. That was nothing if not unexpected; no one gave him presents.

Justin leaned forward, trying to repress the child-on-Christmas-morning excitement bubbling up in his chest. "I do." He winced inwardly at how very young that sounded. Consciously keeping his tone measured and blank, he added, "Although you didn't need to."

Edited 2009-01-20 13:45 (UTC)

Just as well he didn't - it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference to Road, who usually only paid attention to social rules in order to be able to break them even better. It was funny, that the one time she was following them she was being given permission not to.

"I see. So you can't tell me. That's~ okay." She made her voice sound wistful, but didn't really care too much. She knew all that she needed to. "But if I don't need to get used to it, what else can I do~?" Sing-songed, it was a rhetorical question, and not one she expected him to be able to answer to her satisfaction.

"Grell's fine now! I had to keep the twins away from him when he wasn't though, they wanted to play." A little laugh there, if Grell wasn't so useful to her, she would have let them play, and then he wouldn't have been fine at all.

She laughed again at the look of interest on his face, and pulled a vial filled with a strangely coloured liquid out of a pocket. "I got it for you anyway~, one way or the other. I did a favour for Hatter in order to get it." Road turned the vial slowly to let it catch the light, looking at it in contemplation. "I wanted to see how it worked, but I guess I don't have any use for it, if you're giving up. You might as well have it." She deliberately neglected to mention what it did, wanting him to ask.

Justin was quick to apologize for his silence about police affairs. "I shouldn't. It's not interesting, anyway." He wasn't so quick, however, to provide alternative diversions, as he highly doubted that Road would enjoy any of the hobbies that he found entertaining. She didn't strike him as the type to get a kick out of nurturing orchids. As such, Justin left the question unanswered.

"Good," he said in response to her assessment of Grell's condition. He didn't know Grell or, to be honest, particularly care about his well-being, but Road seemed to like playing with him.

Small talk was quickly put out of his mind with the presentation of the vial. Justin's initial excitement over receiving a gift--and a fascinating gift, at that!--ebbed somewhat when Road reminded him of his decision to back out of their game and was replaced by a stab of guilt. Curiosity, however, won over guilt for the moment. "What is it? What does it do?"

"Hmm, it's okay~. If you say so ♥" Slightly disbelieving, but it really wasn't a topic that interested her that much. She was amused that he really did skip over her question about what to do with her time - people tended to do that once they'd had a few conversations with her and had a better idea of what she was like.

"It is!" Road was a bit more enthusiastic about this. "I didn't have anyone to look after me or take me out or to play with while Grell was hurt! But he's promised to make it up to me." Well, maybe not having anyone else wasn't quite true, since she could have easily bothered Tyki into doing things for her. But Grell did make things easier.

She dangled the vial from the tips of her fingers, watching the liquid glisten. "What does it do? Hmm." A strange look spread over her face, amusement, interest, almost surprise that the Hatter had managed to fulfil her strange request. "Do you really want to know? Now that you've decided to give up on what you thought was important?" Curious, pitying, he was only any other human was what her look said.

"Oh well. It keeps people alive, awake, conscious, no matter how badly you damage them or the amount of pain they're in. Analysing it won't be much use by the way, it's not that kind of thing."

Justin was more than happy to drop all talk of police business and hobbies. Road's childish petulance about Grell's inability to cater to her whims was much more entertaining. "You don't need anyone to look after you."

The vial was quick to steal his attention. He watched the liquid inside as if he could analyze it through will alone. "I do want to know... and I didn't give up--not on what was important," Justin insisted, although he knew he was lying. He didn't know what was important anymore, let alone if he had given up on pursuing it or not.

Road's tone unsettled him; it was a dramatic change from her childish words only moments ago. There was something alien in her expression--something inhuman, and something condescending. He suddenly felt like an insect under a magnifying glass.

Justin's response to Road's answer wasn't one of his more articulate, but his busy brain was having difficulties understanding the abrupt shift in Road's demeanor. "...What?"

Edited 2009-01-20 22:19 (UTC)

"Why not?" She looked petulant. "I'm just a little girl, after all. Shouldn't little girls have someone to look after them, Justin?"

Road tossed the vial into the air, leaving it till the last second to dart her hand out and catch it again, the movement lightning fast. "Didn't you? I think you did. I don't mind you lying to me, Justin. Even if it's not very nice. But lying to yourself too..." A sigh, still looking at him sadly.

Acting it all, playing a part, careful, careful, lead him ever so gently where she wanted him to go but leave him thinking he'd arrived at the conclusion on his own.

"It made me a bit sad, really. I thought you could, the way you spoke. You understood. Maybe you still understand what it's like, that perfection, but now you..." she broke off at his question. "I'm sure you heard me the first time, Justin."

"You're not just a little girl," he replied, absolutely sure that he was speaking the truth.

Justin alternately watched Road and the vial, mesmerized by the shimmering liquid and Road's easy movements. She seemed so sad and sincere--so genuinely upset by his indecision. "Road," he began. Whatever he had been prepared to say, however, seemed to be stuck somewhere between his brain and his mouth.

"I heard you, I just..."

Again, the words disappeared. Clearly, Road had gone out of her way to help him reach that state of perfection. How ungrateful would be be to back out after she had invested so much time and effort into this? Wasn't this what he wanted? Freedom is itself a crime. Wasn't freedom what he wanted more than anything else--freedom from society, from self-limiting emotions, from attachments. from pain and other human weaknesses? Road was offering it all to him--everything he could want.

No, not everything. She couldn't offer that one delicate, fleeting thing that Justin wanted more than freedom and power. Richard hadn't been able to offer it, either--not really, in spite of all of his promises and vows that he was the only one who could ever care.

Justin couldn't do it, not even for Road, who looked so sad and betrayed. "I'm sorry."

"But I am~ a little girl, whatever else I might be. It still counts for something." A bit annoyed now, because she liked being a little girl, doted on by everyone.

She sighed again, getting frustrated but trying not to show it. Road didn't want to hear apologies. Begging, now maybe that, begging her to stop hurting him, stop killing him, but no, no, she wasted so much time, she wanted to prove a point. It might be fun to tip the potion down his own throat and show him what someone free from a conscious did, but she could do that to anyone, and it wasn't what she wanted quite yet. Though if this didn't work, well...

"Don't apologize." She was smiling again at him now, sweet as ever. "Not when you don't really mean it. How could you mean it? Friends don't change their mind like that. They don't turn their backs. I did what I said I would."

Justin found that it was simplest just to agree. "Okay. You're right."

For a moment, he thought Road was going to do something. He didn't know what that "something" would entail, and he had no particular desire to know.

Her expression changed again. The sweet little girl was back, although her words and her smile didn't quite match up. Justin wanted to wave away the accusations with a solid excuse--debate the matter into nonexistence--but Road was right. He shouldn't have gotten himself into this if he didn't have the will to see it through to the end, and it was unfair to pull Road around due to his inability to make a decision.

"You did," he said, not able to meet her eyes. "I can't do what I said I would, though."

"That's not...you're doing this wrong, you know." Silly, not even strong enough not to give in. She wondered if he knew how much worse he was making things.

"Why not? You never said why. Not properly." She huffed in annoyance. "I thought you were stronger than this." And she had. It was time to move things up a notched. She didn't move or gesture, but she never had to, her powers were so much more than words or movements - nothing changed around them, at least not perceptibly.

A muffled whimper came from behind one of the apartment's doors, low enough to ignore, for now. But it was starting.

((ooc: must go sleep now, tags tomorrow!))

"Doing what wrong?" Justin had no idea. He was consciously aware that he didn't know what he should say or what this was turning in to, and that awareness was a frightening thing.

He pressed himself back into his chair, willing it to swallow him so he wouldn't have to come up with a why. Why? Because Road was absolutely right. He was weak. Ideas were so easy, but action... action took monumental effort. Justin could commit a thousand philosophical murders, but actually hurting people led to guilt--a weak emotion that sapped the defiance from criminal actions and made a cage out of promised freedom. "I just can't," he said lamely.

I thought you were stronger than this. So had he.

Justin felt something change around him. It was subtle--far too subtle for him to name or describe. The whimper pulled him out of his chair. "What was that?" he asked Road in a hushed whisper, although he didn't expect a satisfactory answer from her. There was something very wrong.

[ooc: Sleep well, and thank you!]

"If you think I'm wrong, you should argue, not give in. You're supposed to be yourself instead of bits and pieces of what everyone wants you to be." Arguing was fun, as long as Road won in the end anyway.

She shook her head vehemently. "No, that's not good enough. If you can say no, you can explain it." She wanted to shake him out of his indecision, to make him change his mind and get all this over with so she could go and do something more fun.

"Hmm?" she asked, her face as impassive as ever, no sign that she knew very well what was going on. "What was what~?" Her normal voice - no reason for her to whisper, after all. There's the slightest sound of creaking, now, and another whimper no louder than the first. "Is everything okay~, Justin?" Moving to sit on the very edge of her chair, chin on her fists, staring up at him to see what he would do.

Edited 2009-01-21 10:55 (UTC)

"There's no point in arguing an insignificant point," he replied, not paying full attention to their conversation. Justin left his chair. That noise...

His attention snapped back to Road. "It's not good enough? You need an explanation?" Justin pushed his hair out of his face, nervousness making his movements stiff and unnatural. He latched on to the first ideology that his mind stumbled across. "Jean-Jacques Rousseau said 'Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.' He saw society as the corrupter and slave-master of the human soul--freedom lies in the escape from society." He shook his head, coming to a novel realization of his own. "Destroying other people isn't the way to subvert society."

Justin frowned at Road and her apparent obliviousness to the whimpering. He wondered for a moment if he was going crazy, but that suspicion passed quickly; he felt frighteningly sane. "Can't you hear it?" He moved to the hall door, trying to determine where the whimpers were coming from.

"Isn't there? I wonder." She was annoyed at him for not paying attention to her, even if really she was the one creating the distraction.

Road tilted her head back and laughed. "There you go again! Who cares what anyone else said. You don't subvert society, you remove it. And it starts off with removing yourself from it." And she'd always been outside it, really. "Other people don't matter. Like the girl you killed. She didn't matter, did she? The same way you didn't matter to them when they killed you~. You have to set yourself above everyone else or else you'll mean nothing. Be nothing."

"Maybe I can." She shrugged, uncaring. "Go find out what it is, if it matters so much to you."

Justin stared at Road, stuck for a reply. Whether or not she realized it, she had hit something--you didn't matter to them when they killed you. Did other people matter? The girl they'd killed hadn't mattered, not at the time. When she suddenly became a person to Justin instead of a means to an end... that's when it had fallen apart. That's when Cassie became a person too, not an obstacle. Where had that gotten him? No where but the gas chamber, because, to Cassie, he was nothing but a killer. He had died because he had lacked the will to seize power and act fully in his own interest.

Road was right. Society was something to be broken, and people didn't matter--not to each other. To survive, to become better than them... that would necessitate treating them like the animals they were. They could kill him without a moral dilemma; surely he could return the favor.

"I don't want to be nothing," he finally concluded. Mind set--for the moment--Justin opened the hall's closet door.

Road smiled to herself while his back was turned - finally she was getting somewhere. Or at least she hoped so. She'd never realized Justin was so indecisive when she first started this. It was almost like a dance to which she didn't know the steps. Still amusing, for now.

"And you don't have to be. You can show yourself that you're beyond all of that." she continued, getting up and walking towards him, stopping next to the doorway and looking up at him.

"You were interested in what my powers are. I thought I'd give you a peek." Inside the closet the space is enormous, the ceiling infinite. Dancing flames lit up the darkness, burning merrily away at the tops of candles floating high up in the air. And the sounds still there, faint as ever, as if they're still in another room, hidden away somewhere in the far reaches of the dark. The air has the same feeling of being trapped between sleep and awake. "Go in~?" she coaxed him.

Justin nodded. For a moment, goals and philosophies seemed to meet in a perfect path of action--action that Road was making possible.

He felt that he should say something, but the sight of the inside of his hall closet wiped his mind clean of words. What had been a tiny nook with a row of battered hooks and hangers was... an entirely different world, and not one that seemed bound to the laws of physics as Justin knew them. His rational, scientific mind had no explanation for the limitless darkness and the floating candles, or for the odd sensation this new world wrapped him in. It was like a borderland between reality and something more profound.

"You made this?" he asked Road, amazed. He had suspected her powers were impressive, but this was beyond impressive. Curiosity overwhelming any niggling doubts or fears, Justin entered the otherworldly cavern that the hall closet had become.

"Mmhmm~." She entered the room after him - if he looked around he'd see that the doorway he'd stepped through had already disappeared. "I can make anything I like. Anything real or not real." The apartment they'd just been in, in fact, had been no more real than this cavern was.

Road giggled. "Don't worry, your closet's still there. It's just that there isn't here right now." She twirled around, arms outstretched. "Do you like it?"

"Wow." That word didn't exactly sum up Justin's awe, but it was a good place to start. He did indeed notice that the door had disappeared, but that didn't matter.

Justin looked at the floating candles and the darkness, then back to Road. "It's amazing." And impossible, but here he was. "I like it."

Abruptly, he remembered what had drawn him here to begin with--the whimpering. He searched the darkness for a doorway, or anything else that might lead him to the source of the sound.

Road laughed again, pleased. It was a nice change to find someone who appreciated her powers when she showed them off. "Ooh~, good!"

She noticed him looking, and grinned. Well, if he wanted to find out what it was.

What looked like a speck in the distance smoothly glided closer; a rocking chair with its back to them, ropes running around it and the top of someone's head showing over its back. It creaked as it violently rocked backwards and forwards.

Walls faded in from the darkness so that what was before an unlimited amount of space became a large, ceilingless room. The light flickered on piles of toys and brightly wrapped presents discarded in the corners.

And in front of the rocking chair, an opening onto what looked like the Square. But no matter how the chair inched forward ever so slowly as it rocked backwards and forwards, the distance between it and the opening never grew any smaller.

Road hadn't thought it polite to learn her guest unentertained while she waited.

Justin smiled at Road, glad that her mood had improved. He felt a bit giddy himself; this whole thing reminded him of the few times he had experimented with harder drugs.

He watched the speck grow closer and form itself into an occupied chair. As a room materialized around them, his stomach sank uncomfortably. Someone was tied to the chair. That could only mean--

"Road... what is this?"

Although he was certain he knew.

Log; Complete

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