tampered | [In progress;]

[In progress;]

When; April 23
Rating; ffft like. pg probably
Characters; Neil Perry [

had_not_lived], Todd Anderson [

mumbled_truth]
Summary; It's a rainy day and the boys have some catching up to do... play stuff, City stuff, potentially angsty stuff. idek
Log;

The rain didn't bother him much. It was an excuse not to go anywhere; which was something he didn't entirely like, but was willing to admit he probably needed. Between the play, the Network; the things he was studying (fencing! fencing, with Robin Goodfellow himself!--) and the places he wanted to visit, Neil kept himself incredibly busy. He'd promised himself, upon arriving here in this strange universe, that he'd never allow himself a moment's boredom. There was bound to be a happy medium somewhere, though, between that, and never having a moment's rest-- a balance he hadn't quite found yet.
He loved it, though. Every improbable and wild moment of it.
Besides, it wasn't as though he had nothing to do. Having finally managed to procure a copy of Midsummer, he now faced the task of convincing Todd to take a role. Preferably Demetrius, since they didn't have one yet-- and he thought that, if only his friend could get over his shyness, he'd be brilliant at it.
So, he was sprawled on their sofa, watching Todd read through the text intently, as though he could will him into wanting to act.

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Whereas Neil was sprawled, Todd was perched on the very edge of the other end of the sofa, leaning over the arm he was resting the play on. He couldn't help but be continually distracted by exactly how surreal his life was at this specific moment. He was in an alternate reality, with people from who even knew how many different worlds and times, suddenly thrown 50 years into the future-- and sprawled on the couch next to him was Neil. His best friend. His very much dead best friend.
He still wasn't entirely convinced that he hadn't just gone completely insane, but if he had, it was a pleasant alternative to reality at the moment. Of course, he was always a little afraid that he'd wake up and find that it had all been a dream, and there he would be, alone in that empty, silent room, with the bare, unoccupied mirror to his own bed and desk staring back at him. For the time being, he didn't see much choice but to accept things for what they appeared to be and enjoy the fact that he was here, with his friend, in this bizarre, yet... admittedly exciting world.
He was trying to ignore the connotations of the play he was reading as he paged though it. He was familiar with it to some extent, of course. After all, he was the one who had most frequently helped Neil read over his lines for that horribly fateful performance back home.
He glanced up, the fact that his mind was swimming with all sorts of thoughts and concerns still plain on his face. At least, they were for a brief moment before he noticed that Neil was staring at him as he read. One corner of his mouth quirked as he raised an eyebrow.
"Do you think if you stare hard enough I'll suddenly want this massive part?"
Why yes, it was that easy to read him; and Todd already knew what it meant when Neil was looking at him like that, anyway.

Neil smirked. "Is it working?"

He was aware of the discomfort Todd felt, talking about the play. This play. He hadn't forgotten that little shocked look when he'd first mentioned it, and to be honest... he felt that way himself, a little. He hadn't wanted to play Puck again, at first; even now from time to time he was struck with horror at the thought, which might be why he'd thrown himself so wholly into the organization of the other actors, trying to build up new associations, trying to avoid his memories. It wasn't the play-- not even the Henley Hall version-- that he wanted to forget. But it was hard to break the link in his mind between the production, and what had come of it.

Todd responded to that with a smirk of his own. "No."

He looked back down at the page he was on, finishing it off before he closed the book with a small sigh. He looked back over to Neil, his brows furrowed and a small, doubtful frown on his face.

"This is insane, Neil. You know I'm not going to be able to do this."

"Sure you are!" He shifted, sat up so he could lean in a bit. "It's a lot to memorize, but it's really not that hard when you get started doing it. And Rosella's playing Helena-- you could practice with her." He looked a little bit frustrated; Neil didn't want to push too hard, didn't want to force Todd into something he really didn't want to do... but... he felt so certain that his friend would enjoy it, if he could get over his fears.

Todd bit his lip, glancing down at the book, and then back at Neil. "I'm not worried about memorizing it, it's... the actual performing part."

Of course, the shyness really wasn't as bad as it used to be, he just didn't really feel comfortable in the City yet. Then again, he wasn't sure he'd ever feel comfortable doing something like being in a play in front of a huge audience. But... he was starting to feel comfortable talking to Rosella, at least. It seemed like he was going to wind up having to read poetry at some point anyway... at least if he did this, he could get used to being in front of people without them judging his writing at the same time. He glanced at Neil with a small, resigned smile.

"...fine. I'll try."

He grinned broadly. "That's the spirit!" It was a start; next on the list was trying to get Todd to be enthusiastic. All in good time.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, really. You don't pay attention to the audience-- just to what you're saying. To make it real for a little while."

Todd offered a little smirk in return, "Yeah, I'm sure I won't have any problems with that at all."

He didn't really want to think about what he'd just agreed to do. He could already feel the developing pit in his stomach. But. This was the City, a new world, he could reinvent himself if he wanted to. He could be a bolder, more courageous, more outspoken Todd that seized the day. Probably. Maybe.

Shaking his head, Neil clapped his friend on the shoulder. "You'll be great," he promised, still smiling warmly. A little more subdued now; he was trying to be encouraging, trying to show the confidence he felt. He leaned over to grab the book, flipping through the pages absently. What fools these mortals be! He snapped it shut.

"I'm glad you're going to do it. I'm really looking forward to this."

Todd gave a small snort of a laugh as Neil clapped him on the shoulder. He watched his friend flip through the pages, his thoughts drifting back towards all the things he was trying not to dwell on.

When Neil spoke again, it was welcome, though it clearly snapped him out of the inside of his head. But he just smiles, "Yeah, I might have noticed."

He smiled back, a little weakly. Todd being here made this too familiar-- sitting up late, perched in their window, reading by moonlight. Practicing lines together. All the guys shouting in the audience, that night, and in the back of the theater...

He laughed, almost forcibly. "It's kind of strange, isn't it."

Todd looked down for a moment, feeling a twinge of guilt for not being able to shove the thoughts out of his mind. Things should be okay, now. Neil was here, and even if he wasn't, he was alive enough for all intents and purposes, and he was here, and there wasn't anyone to tell them they couldn't do whatever they dreamed. He just couldn't seem to get past everything that had happened that easily.

He looked back up with a weak smile. It didn't touch his eyes in the slightest, which, as ever, betrayed his concerns. "Yeah... I mean, sort of."

He scowled suddenly, hating everything they weren't saying. The way the danced around the subject, careful never to mention what Neil had done. He didn't really want to talk about it-- no matter what brave face he put upon it, no matter how he insisted he was fine, he'd come quickly to regret his decision.

"You can be mad at me, you know."

His face fell and he looked down, finding a spot on the floor to focus on for a while. He didn't want to talk about it, either, but he did know that things wouldn't resemble any sort of normalcy between them as long as it was hanging over them like this. He drew in and out a deep, slow breath and he looked back up at Neil, his brows furrowed and a pursed-lipped frown on his face.

"I was," he admitted quietly, "But... I'm not anymore."

"Maybe you should be," Neil said quietly, expression pained. He looked away, frowning as he tried to find the right words.

"...I didn't have--" He stopped short, took an unnecessary breath. In retrospect... what he'd done was rash; he didn't see any alternative even now. But it hadn't been the right choice. "I didn't think I had any choice."

Todd returned to staring intently at the spot on the ground that he'd found before. It was much easier to talk about this if he didn't have to actually look at Neil.

"Yeah. I know," he mumbled quietly - after all, what could that be but a last resort? When he did manage to look back up at Neil again, he almost looked wounded, "What's my being angry supposed to accomplish?"

"I... don't know. But... just avoiding it isn't helping." Frowning, he managed to meet his friend's eyes.

"...I am sorry," Neil added, quietly. It was harder to say that than it should have been; it was an admission that the claims that he was fine, that it didn't bother him in the least, were all empty bravado. An act. How apt.

His expression shifted slightly, a hint of concern touching at his frown.

"It's-- it's okay. I already told you I'm not mad. Not anymore, and... it really didn't last that long anyway."

He paused, pursing his lips and glancing down a moment before he met Neil's eyes again, "So... what are we supposed to do? It's already done."

Neil shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. Just... try to get over it. That's what I've been trying to do." He paused, managed a weak smile. "It's why I'm doing the play, mostly."

"So..." Todd shrugged, mirroring the smile with an equally weak counterpart, "We'll get over it then. We're here now, anyway."

Which would mean that it didn't matter that much, except that he knew he could wind up being sent home whenever the deities decided they felt like it. Nor did it erase the fact that he'd already gone through losing his friend.

"Yeah," he said, nodding; his smile a little less tenuous. He'd thought about what would happen if Todd went home-- not that it seemed likely; he'd just gotten here, after all-- and had come to the conclusion that... well, he'd have no right to complain. He was lucky to be here at all, twice so to have a friend. He'd done nothing to deserve either.

"I've been thinking of trying to make this a regular thing, if it goes well. Having a company of actors, here." Change of subject, something a little less awful to think about.

And the change of subject was more than welcome. Todd latched right onto it, his smile relaxing.

"I'm sure it'll be fantastic," he grinned-- then paused, adding with a little smirk, "...I mean, I'm sure everyone else can make up for me."

"Ah, quiet," he chided, grinning back. "And you're not off the hook. You're joining, if I end up doing it."

As though there was any other option. Though if Todd really hated it... well, Neil doubted he would. Besides, there was time enough to deal with that. Midsummer was a ways off as it was.

Todd responded to that with a little snort of a laugh, "Well, I could have assumed that."

The comment could have been interpreted as being annoyed, if not for the lack of annoyance in his tone.

"And what do you mean if? Of course you're doing it."

"As long as everyone else is interested." He laughed. "I think our choices would be pretty limited if it was just you and me." Neil paged through the book again absently, not really reading it... just looking for something to keep his hands busy.

"Actually. I was thinking..."

"Well, that is an excellent point," Todd smirked, pausing dramatically as he tilted his head to one side, "I mean, since you've had such a difficult time convincing anyone to be in this play."

"What?"

Neil chuckled at that. Well, things were going pretty well with Midsummer; maybe Todd had a point.

"Well... with you here. I was thinking, we could start a City chapter of the Dead Poets Society." He looked at Todd intently; eager, but not entirely sure of himself, of whether this was a good idea.

Todd fell quiet for a moment, mulling it over.

"Well..." He took a deep breath, glancing up at Neil with a small smile, "It would be nice to have meetings again..."

"Yeah... I just don't know if it'd be the same." He frowned slightly, leaning back against the arm of the sofa. "But I think we should try it."

"It won't be," Todd shrugged, his tone thoughtful, "But... we should. The idea is important. I mean... getting each other to think, freely... to look at and interpret things differently, and... to express that..."

He trails off, his gaze off to the side, not quite focused on anything apparent as his tone gradually fades into a mumble.

A grin broke out across his face. "Exactly." He hadn't quite been able to articulate why it was so important-- he just knew that the Dead Poets Society was something he didn't want to give up, even here. Even when there wasn't the same need for secrecy, he found himself craving it.

"We should... I don't know. Start feeling people out, see who might be a good fit."

He snapped back out of his reverie, looking back at Neil with a small smile.

"I guess," he shrugged, "And then just... ask them if we think they are?"

"Yeah! We'll have to find somewhere to hold the meetings... I'm sure there's a cave somewhere in the woods that'd work." He was starting to get excited by the prospect, now that Todd was on board with it.

Todd's smile spread, his own excitement apparent, "So we'll go exploring. I haven't seen the woods yet, after all."

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