Log: Complete

[handsomejack.livejournal.com]

When; After Jack has returned from the Major's tender care
Rating; PG-13 for swearing and sexual themes
Characters; Ianto Jones king_coffee, Kyle Brooks justashow and Captain Jack Harkness handsomejack
Summary; Jack gets home and helps smooth the tensions between Kyle and Ianto
Log;

There were times when facing down an army of undead vampire Nazis was easier than trying to maintain a relationship. Not that Jack was about to mention this thoughtout loud as he imagined that both Kyle and Ianto would take turns tying his dick in a knot.

Carefully picking his way up over the sand dune located in front of the house, Jack spied his Armani wearing quarry just over the edge, down where the soft sand leveled back out. At least Kyle had brought a blanket, probably to protect his slacks.

Sliding down the dune, Jack walked so that he came up in front of Kyle and stopped with a half smile.

"Hey, mind if I join you?"

He was prepared to be told to fuck off but was hoping otherwise.

Kyle had to think about it for a few minutes. On the one hand, knowing Jack was alive and close by and not a ghoulish vampire thing or half-crazed from torture could only be a comfort. On the other hand, part of him wanted to kill the immortal himself for putting them through this.

And that part was screaming for Kyle to shove Jack into the ocean.

Eventually he nodded and shifted to the side a little to make room. He could at least let Jack attempt...whatever it was he was attempting by searching Kyle out.

"Go ahead."

Not exactly a warm and fuzzy greeting but not a shove into the ocean either. Jack would take it.

Folding his coat around himself, Jack settled down on the bit of blanket Kyle had made available and got himself comfortable. Then, he looked out across the blue ocean and tried to put some sort of order to his thoughts.

"You're pretty upset with me, aren't you?" He asked softly.

Replying with What was your first clue would be childish. So Kyle didn't. He dug his fingers into the sand instead and probably ruined his perfectly buffed nails.

"It's a perfectly normal thing to be upset about," he said instead. Even if Ianto didn't agree, Kyle thought he should at least get to feel upset when people he loves go off to effectively commit suicide, granted in the name of heroic self-sacrifice.

"And you haven't given me a reason not to be."

Quiet for a few minutes, it was probably obvious that Jack was working some things out in his head as he went along. Perhaps, even more so than he ever had when he and Kyle talked in the past.

"I don't know that I'll be able to," Jack said eventually. "Because in the end, the decision is always going to be yours on whether what I say is a good enough reason to live through this."

Turning his head slightly, Jack had taken those minutes and carefully stripped away more of the masks that he wore without thought. Leaving exposed the vulnerability and also the aching loneliness he lived with. He did it, not for sympathy but to show Kyle that this idea, that Kyle, that Ianto, that Gwen could decide he was too much trouble and leave him at any point, was a fear that he lived with every waking moment of his life.

"But if you want to listen, I'll try?"

Kyle regarded him gravely for a few moments. Already it was hard to look at Jack and keep his smooth, unshakable expression. He'd perfected it for years in the courtroom, he'd displayed it for werewolves and fae, he'd tested it against his sister every time she mentioned his parents and it never failed him.

And yet, since he'd come to the City all Jack had been doing was stripping away Kyle's masks along with his own. Kyle didn't think it was fair.

"I'm already listening, aren't I?" he said with a sigh, shifting his gaze to the stars which were a much safer thing to look at.

"I'm not the one who needs to decide what he wants to live through, Jack."

Kyle's profile was beautiful, lit as it was and turned up towards the night sky and Jack smiled softly for a moment before turning to look back out over the ocean.

"Yes, you are." He reiterated. "I don't have a choice, well I suppose I have choices but none of them are ones I'd make as the man I am today but you do have a choice, because I know I'm not an easy man to live with."

As Ianto and Gwen could attest.

Taking a breath, Jack leaned back on his palms and looked up at the night sky, strange, alien and utterly fascinating to him.

"Do you know what it's like, to think in four dimensions, Kyle? To not only be aware of where you are, what is happening but also when in the process of time?"

It was a rhetorical question, letting Jack get started on a topic that seemed so very broad.

"The Doctor, though he looks human, is not. He's an alien, a Time Lord. He was born and raised a Time Lord, given the foundation of a being who is meant to live through multiple regenerations, up to and beyond a thousand years."

Pausing, Jack let a moment of envy wash over him and then quickly brushed it away.

"Even though, I was born in the 51st century, with all it's changes and all it's advances for the human race, I was born human. I was born to live maybe 100 years and spent much of my youth doing mydamnedest to shorten that number by a few decades. I was never raised to live beyond my own time, beyond my own people. I was never given the tools to cope with that possibility, it just didn't exist."

Sitting up, Jack grabbed up a bit of drift wood and began to work patterns into the sand.

"And I did things in my mortal life that to say I am not proud of is an understatement. I was the boogyman in the closet, the monster under the bed. I made arrogant decisions and craved indulgent acts, the likes of which Earth has no known law to punish."

A flash back to the man who had kidnapped Ianto and those memories, things he shied away from talking about with everyone, the Doctor knowing only because, the Doctor just knew things. Taking a deep breath, Jack stabbed the sand.

"I was good at it and I liked it. At that time, that man craved the power, washed himself in the cruelty that made him stronger. The darkness gives you a certain strength and it can be intoxicating. Can and was."

And why was he explaining this, admitting it to Kyle? Jack looked over at Kyle, his face pale in the light from the stars.

"You have to understand, Kyle. I live with that monster in my head and in my soul. He is me and sometimes I draw on that strength but most of the time I wrestle against that part of me and with the help of the Doctor, of Torchwood ... so far I am winning. But it's not death I fear anymore. It's losing the ability to keep myself in check."

He paused, there was more but he figured he better give a chance for Kyle to process it in bits, ask questions if he wished ... walk away, if he wanted.

Kyle listened, patiently, and said nothing while Jack unfolded his secrets. In some ways, it only confirmed the cold statement Ianto had made. He didn't know Jack, not really, and it sounded a little like Jack was saying that he never could know him. There was just too much distance, too many years, too many experiences that Kyle's mind couldn't absorb. He was barely touching the end of his twenties and Jack had seen centuries pass.

And yet he couldn't even reach as close as Ianto. So Kyle listened and nodded and thought with despair that this was maybe the conversational equivalent of coming home to find all of your possessions neatly packed away into suitcases at the top of the stairs.

Because Kyle recognized and witnessed every day the many ways in which he wasn't ever going to be enough to keep anyone. Warren's sanity required his pack and Adam more than it required Kyle. And it seemed that Jack's sanity required him to go off every so often and do daft and dangerous things in order to prove to himself that he wasn't a monster.

Because just Kyle saying so wouldn't be enough.

"The first time I saw Warren change, I ran away." Kyle confessed it softly, drawing his knees up to his chest and tucking his arms around them.

"I ran because just for a tiny moment I...I didn't see Warren anymore. It was just some savage beast and I knew it could kill me, knew I was less than nothing and I had to get away. So I left him there. After he'd been brave enough to risk himself by showing me his real self, I left him there and I didn't call for three days."

It had been the longest three days of Kyle's life.

"And when I saw him again, I still didn't know if I could handle what I knew about him. That the person I loved wasn't human, that he was going to outlive me by centuries, that suddenly there was this whole world I needed to be aware of and be careful in now, it seemed...so overwhelming. But I..."

Kyle's lips twisted and the stars seemed to blur above him. He ducked his head and was grateful that he'd let his hair grow longer these past few months. He could hide behind his bangs now.

"I got over it. I did. And now there's no way I could ever see Warren as a monster. And I'd never believe that he could hurt me. And I want to tell him that he's human, human, always human to me and it's still not enough."

Jack could say he was a monster inside all he wanted. Kyle was simply not going to believe it. But all of that didn't matter, because Kyle was never the one Jack wanted that kind of reassurance from.

He gave the other man an accusing, wet-lashed look.

"You didn't even give me the chance to ask you to stay."

Now it was Jack's turn to listen and he felt his chest tighten when he saw the evidence of moisture on Kyle's eyelashes. He wanted to reach out and wrap his arm around the younger man but wasn't sure it was the right thing to do at this moment. Still, he had to touch him and lifted a hand to lightly brush his fingertips against the side of Kyle's hair.

"Maybe because I'm afraid to say 'I can't' to you," he said. "That and well I have a bad habit of bolting off without warning. Gwen and Ianto would no doubt take your side in wanting to kick that nonsense out of my head."

Lowering his hand, Jack looked back out at the ocean.

"When Gray buried me, John later noted that I never struggled. I told him that I accepted my brother's hatred, his need to punish me as my penance for the wrong I did to him, in letting him go."

Taking a deep breath, Jack made himself look back to Kyle, look him straight in the face.

"I think the argument could be made that with all the death and suffering that is at my feet, I sometimes go overboard on the heroics in an attempt to make peace with the blood and tears on my hands. Sometimes, it's for the right reasons, like this past week but I've been thinking and I realize that I've also done some of this for the very wrong reasons and it makes sense that you'd have a hard time trusting my judgement."

Eyes still on Kyle's face, Jack let the younger man a little further in, past the smiles and shadows that normally lurked in his face.

"I truly am sorry for the time I let Cindy kill me. It was arrogant, prideful and worst of all horrifically thoughtless of me."

He paused, to let that sincere apology stand on it's own, then continued.

"There are times, like this past week, when the decision I make will hurt those I love but will be for the right reasons. But that was a time when I hurt you and Ianto for no good reason and I ... I don't ever know if I'll be able to express to you two enough, how much I regret it."

Kyle breathed quietly as he felt that touch on his hair, trying to push back the tears so very close to spilling over. He didn't cry. He never cried, and yes maybe once in a while his eyes watered a little but he could always control it.

He thought back to that day, to his timid question of whether it was worth it to keep on living. At the time, he thought that Jack answered that question, but as months went on, Kyle realized that maybe he hadn't. Or maybe he hadn't answered the way Kyle wanted him to.

Because Kyle also remembered the look in Jack's eyes on the day the City had turned him mortal and that naked longing in his expression, and he felt almost sick to his stomach with the knowledge that no matter how much he loved Jack, there was the strong possibility that Jack wanted to die more than he wanted to be with Kyle.

And the worst part was, he couldn't really blame Jack. It frustrated him beyond measure to discuss immortality with both of his lovers...hell, with all three of them, because he understood, really he did. But he couldn't change the way he felt about being left behind.

Jack relied on Torchwood and the Doctor to keep him human. Not Kyle. It was selfish and stupid to feel betrayed by that, but Kyle did.

"It's not about trust," Kyle said, gulping his breaths now. "I don't even know what it's about. I just...it's been such a horrible..."

Oh god, he was selfish and stupid. Every word just emphasized that. Kyle wished he could stop talking.

"You're always leaving where I can't follow. I don't care what the reasons are. It hurts."

This time, Jack couldn't help himself and he reached out to draw Kyle under his arm and against his body, ever protective even if this was something he couldn't necessarily protect Kyle from. Had Jack known the other man's thoughts, he'd have explained that in his eyes, Kyle was Warren's link to his humanity, Kyle was Warren's and would go back to Warren and when that time came, Jack wanted to know he'd kept Kyle safe for Warren, rather than breaking him utterly.

"I know," he said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of Kyle's head. He did know, also. Had felt that sense of hurt when the Doctor and Rose had taken off without him.

"It's hard, not to want to protect you that I guess I'm guilty of losing sight of the line between protecting and shutting out and I'm sorry about that, Kyle. It's not my intention, it's just there is so much out there and it's my job to protect you, Ianto, Gwen ..."

Sighing softly, Jack rested his cheek against Kyle's soft hair.

"I suppose I'm a little spoiled, because Gwen and Ianto kick me in the shins when I'm being too overprotective," sometimes it didn't do much good but it at least got Jack to think when they did it.

"I know I don't deserve you, any of you. I can't even promise that I wouldn't do the same thing again, if needed. Sometimes, Kyle ... sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I have someone in my life and I want to just say 'screw the Universe, I'm taking this lifetime off'' but it doesn't work that way."

Jack's voice hitched a little, maybe Kyle wasn't allowing himself to cry but Jack could feel the warmth of salty tears on his cheek. He knew it was hard to live with him, to love him. He could remember every lover he'd lost or let walk away from him, because the lies, the secrets, the priorities had finally overcome the love and the lust. He didn't begrudge any of them, their choice, hell Jack wasn't sure he'd put up with himself if he was in their shoes.

But they always took a part of him with them.

Kyle hated losing control of his emotions. He hated feeling exposed and raw and he especially hated the way crying made his nose run so that he looked disgusting. If it were anyone but Jack, Kyle would have run away by now. People just weren't allowed to see a Brooks like this.

But it had been so long without Jack and Kyle hadn't slept and he'd fallen out with Ianto so many times simply because he felt so alone that he couldn't run. Not now.

The downside was, Jack's coat was probably getting wet, and some part of Kyle felt absolutely humiliated while the rest of him didn't care.

"Why do you always wait until after you do something stupid to talk to me?" Kyle sniffled into a great coat lapel with a little grumble.

Tightening his arm around Kyle, Jack pulled him closer inching him towards his lap.

"Because I'm usually too busy doing something stupid?" He offered lamely.

Unfortunately it was also true. Jack was used to being the Captain and even the Doctor occasionally had to thump him on the head to remind him to 'listen' every so often.

Kyle couldn't help the snort of laughter, even as more tears ran down his cheeks.

"Idiot," he said, not without a certain fondness. It was probably easy for the Captain to shift him. Kyle had been pulling double, sometimes triple laps along his favorite running paths the past week, trying to flee his fears.

Add to that some sparse food intake and you had a slightly underweight lawyer.

"You know there's a chance that if you talk to me before hand, I might not worry so goddamn much when you do these things."

Given some of the names occasionally flung at his head, Jack would take an idiot as a Godsend.

Tugging the underweight -hmmm- lawyer up onto his lap, Jack employed the lethal coat snuggle action and wrapped both arms around him.

"That, I can try to be better about," he admitted. He'd called Gwen and Ianto because they were his team and it was automatic for him to do that but he could try harder next time to make sure he contacted Kyle as well.

Sighing softly, Jack kissed Kyle's temple and then leaned his forehead against the other man's.

"I know that this isn't easy, Kyle." He said softly. "And it's a lot to ask of you, to stay with us but we do love you and bring so much to our lives, I can't give you many brilliant reasons to stay but ... please?"

"Idiot," Kyle pronounced again, swallowing a sob. "I was an absolute wreck while you were gone and you think you need to ask me to stay? Where the hell else am I going to go? You made me need you, so deal with the consequences."

No, he couldn't imagine leaving. He could imagine his heart breaking in a thousand different ways, but he could never imagine leaving.

Granted, that was if Ianto still wanted him to stay.

"Things fell apart," Kyle whispered, a little guiltily. "I couldn't put them back together. I didn't know how, and you weren't there."

Jack winced as he listened to Kyle. He honestly hadn't realized how deeply important he was to the younger man. Had thought that so long as Ianto and Kyle had each other to lean on, they would both be okay.

Well, he'd hoped that at least.

"I'm sorry, Kyle." He whispered, hugging the other man close. "I keep forgetting that Ianto can anchor himself in his Captain's orders, in his Captain's leadership but that you don't have that same touchstone to fall back on."

It would be all right, Jack would make it all right. He owed both of the men in his life nothing less.

"I couldn't make him understand," Kyle said, shaking his head. "And he couldn't make me understand. And we just kept fighting and fighting."

Warren had always been able to sniff out the real issues underlying Kyle's sometimes snappish ways and twisting double talk. He knew when the younger man was afraid and not really angry, and when to push like an alpha. Kyle had been waiting desperately for Ianto to stop him, to figure out what was going on beneath without the humiliation of Kyle having to say it and possibly be rejected.

It didn't work out very well. Kyle knew it was as much his fault, but he didn't know how to fix it or even if it could be fixed.

Usually Kyle and Ianto had the common chew toy of Jack to run interference. Without him there, Jack could see how these two stubborn young men might end up in a squabble of misunderstandings.

"Let's go back up to the house, sit down and talk, hmmm?"

Kyle thought part of it was probably the insane amount of stress both he and Ianto were under with Jack gone, as well as the missed sleep making them snappish and quick to take offense as much as anything.

"Wait," he said, shifting in Jack's lap so he could face the other man.

Because he hadn't had the time before, and his immediate need to make sure that yes, Jack was actually here and yes, he was still alive and still Jack hadn't been completely fulfilled yet.

Kyle's hand crept to the opening in the great coat and slipped inside to press against the Captain's chest, feel the steady heartbeat. Kyle studied the face above him, the lines and curves that made up the strong jaw, the handsome cheek bones. He pressed his nose to Jack's neck and breathed in the familiar, pleasing scent of 51rst Century pheramones.

"You're okay, right?" Kyle questioned, a fretful tone to his voice as he wandered with his hands, searching for evidence that said otherwise.

Not sure, at first, what Kyle was up to when Jack figured it out, he smiled softly and relaxed his hold so that the younger man could shift around and check for himself.

"Fit as a fiddle," he promised, though he made no move to keep Kyle from verifying his claim.

It was one nice thing about a full fledged death, usually he came back completely 'reset' but he didn't think that Kyle wanted to hear that right now and besides, the other man's hands felt very good. A definite contrast to the tender ministrations of the Major's people.

While Kyle investigated, Jack lifted a hand and brushed his fingers gently through the lawyer's blond hair. It really was getting a bit long there, wasn't it?

Well, Kyle had other things to think about recently besides fashionable haircuts, hadn't he. Still it didn't look bad on him, just a little more casual than most people would see him.

Kyle's fingers measured the broadness of Jack's shoulders, swept down to his rib cage and then always coming back to the heart where he could feel it thump. He pressed his ear to it and smiled at the rhythm he'd been missing against his cheek at night, the comforting presence who could chase the nightmares away.

Kyle took a deep breath, then another, trying to fill his lungs with Jack. He hadn't forgotten, of course. It hadn't been nearly long enough to forget, but it still felt like regaining a piece of himself that had been missing.

"You'll stay for a while now, won't you?" Because Kyle, having never been "in" on the plan, so to speak, didn't know if this was the end of the whole mess or just a mild reprieve.

The breaths were both comforting and tickled a little making Jack smile as he lightly ran his hands over Kyle's shoulders.

"I promise," he said and pulled Kyle to him for a warm hug. "Don't feel like going through anything like that any time soon."

The last words were truthfully spoken. Having gone up on the Major's ship, fought his way through the horrors that lay up there and getting the prisoners back home, Jack was ready to return to the fairly relaxed investigative work Torchwood was doing down in the sewers.

The sun was starting to warm the beach and soon there would be time for swimming in the ocean, lazing around on the sand and possibly seeing if he could talk Ianto and Kyle into sex on the beach.

What? He was a guy, yes he did think about sex every 3 minutes, especially with Kyle perched so nicely on his lap.

"Good," Kyle said, hugging back with a smile. The smile was still on his face when he pulled back a little, but it was the dangerous smile of a courtroom shark going in for the kill.

"I'm still mad at you," he warned Jack, still smiling, before he leaned forward to give a brutal, fast kiss to his lips.

"Furious, in fact." Another kiss. "And you're in such big trouble. Because you, Jack Harkness, are awful hard work."

And he bit too.

Was he in trouble? He thought he might be hearing something to that effect but there was kissing going on and Jack had been known to come back from the dead asking if he was getting a kiss!

Returning them, he couldn't help smiling and even laughing a little as he pursed his lips to return the kisses.

"Oi!" He yelped at the bite but then pulled Kyle up hard against his chest and kissed him deeply, leaning him backwards a little bit.

"But," kiss! "I'm such fun to play with at the end of the day."

"You should have all your toys taken away," Kyle muttered, between kisses. His fingernails dug into Jack's shoulders, bunching up the fabric of the great coat as he tried to keep his balance with Jack leaning him back like that.

"And be grounded. For decades. And no dessert."

Jack grinned, well it was half grin and half leer his eyebrow arching suggestively.

"No dessert at all?"

Leaning down, he snuck in a quick nibble of Kyle's exposed throat.

All of Jack's grins seemed to be half leers.

Kyle made a sound half-way between a growl and a whimper and struggled to get his upper hand back. It was more difficult with Jack leaning over him this way. The best Kyle could do was move his hips in deliberate circles and keep holding on for balance.

"You don't deserve any," Kyle said, which wasn't exactly an answer to the question. If it actually was a question.

"Not even a little nibble?" He wheedled, following the words up with action as he tracked very delicate mouse bites up along Kyle's throat to his jaw.

"No, you don't deserve the smallest scrap," Kyle replied, letting his head fall back further. He couldn't help the instinctive response.

His fingers tightened their grip.

"But that doesn't mean I can't have some. In fact, I'll have your share."

Playfully, Jack walked his fingers up along the -too thin- column of Kyle's spine till he could thrust them through blond hair, fisting it with gentle firmness. An alpha, taking the scruff of one of his wolves for submission.

He didn't say anything, just held Kyle like that, because sometimes words became burdensome and actions spoke louder. The message was hopefully clear that while they were here in the City, without Warren or even Adam here to do the job, it was Jack's job to be Kyle's alpha. To protect, love and every so often, bully him to make sure he was properly taken care of.

Kyle gasped and tested his boundaries by wriggling, not in earnest of escaping, but just to see if Jack would remain firm.

He'd needed this, all through the stress of the past week, pushing himself with the running in a way that he knew was unhealthy but had no impulse to stop, and Ianto had tried but was still hesitant to be what Kyle needed for fear that he was forcing him.

Kyle watched Jack, arched his spine and squirmed just enough to pull the long strands a bit.

Jack had no doubt that Ianto had tried his best for Kyle and if there had been hesitancy it spoke of something Jack needed to help teach the young Welshman in amongst their games. It wasn't often that he played at this sort of level, the Captain often being enough but this went back to the fact that Kyle didn't have that sort of relationship with Jack.

Tightening his hold, Jack growled softly. He had enough tension that he knew he was giving Kyle a delicate hurt in his scalp and the growl reached up into blue eyes, giving them an almost preternatural fire that came simply from Jack's human will, rather than any sort of true, supernatural element.

Gone was the earlier vulnerability, the uncertainty. At least they were back in the shadows, ever present but back under control as Jack's more aggressive personality came to the fore.

Kyle made a noise in his throat at the slight pain, his lips curving slightly in satisfaction and...yes, relief. Here he didn't have to think or worry. Ianto was wrong when he said that Kyle didn't trust Jack. When Jack was with him like this, Kyle had absolute trust. Nothing was going to hurt him, because Jack said so. Kyle was not going to hurt himself, because Jack wasn't going to let him. Here was real safety.

So Kyle gave up the tug-of-war struggle for dominance and relaxed for the first time in at least a week, perhaps more.

He stilled in Jack's hold and his body posture becoming one of willing compliance instead of challenge or struggle as he looked up at the other man.

"Kiss me?" And he was asking this time, not demanding.

Jack saw the moment of Kyle's compliance a half second before the man's body actually relaxed in his arms. He rewarded the relaxation by softening the hold on Kyle's hair, though he didn't let it go completely. At the request, Jack arched an eyebrow as if not sure whether he would grant this or further prove his point by denying Kyle that which he asked for but in the end, the eyebrow lowered and Jack moved slowly to cover the other man's mouth with his own.

It was a reward for the compliance and also a desire to fulfill the request. The immortal's mouth moved with slow, deliberate thoroughness from one corner of Kyle's mouth to the other and only when he had covered every inch did Jack move to deepen the kiss.

At this point, his fingers uncurled, releasing Kyle's hair as Jack instead cupped the back of the younger man's head, holding him to his chest as he thrust his tongue deep within Kyle's mouth.

Claiming it for his own.

The slowness of the kiss was thrilling and frustrating for Kyle at the same time. He thought, very briefly, about trying to rush Jack and control the kiss himself, but the stern hand in his hair, although relaxed, was a reminder that he didn't have to do that. Jack would take care of him.

Instead, Kyle concentrated on trailing his hands down to Jack's chest from his shoulders, just resting there comfortably. He didn't have to worry about his balance either. Jack wouldn't drop him.

And if he did, well, Kyle wasn't particularly worried about how he'd get his revenge.

Jack's tongue was a welcome invader and Kyle accepted it enthusiastically, making encouraging noises and touching back with his own tongue.

Just say no to dropping the lawyer!

Kyle made some of the most delightful noises and Jack gave low growls of approval as he thrust his tongue suggestively deep within the warmth of the younger man's mouth.

Eventually, he broke away so that they could both get air and also because he was debating the wisdom of just laying Kyle out on the blanket and going ahead and taking him right here on the beach. Probably still a little cool for that and besides, they needed to make things right with Ianto, have him with them and all of them needed some time in the sanctuary of their bedroom.

"Come up to the house with me?" Jack rumbled in a low, throaty tone. It was a request and an expectation at the same time.

Kyle dragged cool dawn air into his lungs as Jack released his mouth, his chest heaving with the need to fill his lungs as well as the kind of pent up emotion that he only allowed himself to express comfortably in these situations.

He nodded his head, and raised himself up to hug Jack around the neck a last time.

"Missed you," he whispered, shaking a little and yes he could pretend it was because the morning air was cool by the sea and he had little enough body fat to keep him warm, but he didn't bother to.

He'd missed Jack. Had been scared for him, and lonely, and hurt about being excluded. And he was angry, and still a little scared, but mostly he was glad that Jack had come back to them.

Kyle wanted the other man to know all these things. He wasn't going to keep them secret any longer.

Curling his arms around Kyle, Jack returned the hug and rested his temple against the younger man's jaw.

"Even when I'm away," he whispered. "I will never forget about you."

It was a heady promise, given that they were from two different dimensions. It was a good bet that Kyle would go home and Jack would become little more than a distant dream in his memories but Jack was hoping his unique position as a 'fixed point in time' would at least give him this.

Stroking the large hands that Ianto loved so much across Kyle's -too thin!- back, Jack held him close for a couple beats of their hearts and then he turned to kiss Kyle's cheek.

"Come on," he urged.

He was guessing there was more to the shaking than the cold but it couldn't be doing Kyle any good. Jack wanted them all back in the safety of the beach house.

It might have been a false promise, but it was a nice one and Kyle wanted to believe it was true. So for the time being he acted as if it was. After all, if Jack cared enough to say it, even if it couldn't be achieved, that was all that really mattered wasn't it?

Kyle rested in that secure embrace for a few moments before reluctantly pulling away. The beach was not the best place for a reunion and they were still missing someone who deserved to be there, no matter how awkward Kyle was afraid it might be after the complete hash they had both made of everything in Jack's absence.

Scrambling unsteadily to his feet, Kyle brushed sand from his trousers and waited for Jack to get up too before walking back to the beach house.