completed - closed

[moresake.livejournal.com]

When; April 25, about midnight [backdated]
Rating; PG for a kiss
Characters; Yuuko Ichihara and Clow Reed
Summary; They stay up and drink and talk and work out some sexual tension, among other things. Two different perspectives on one evening.
Log;

They had a nightcap, more often than not, those nights when no one had run away or been cursed or something else had happened that distracted their attention. They waited until the kids were in bed-- how scarily domestic was that-- and then they curled up together on the couch and drank and talked. Some days, they drank more than others; they'd already opened a second bottle of wine and were nursing a wonderful buzz.

It was just a nice habit, really. Except, of course, the days he decided to be obnoxious.

"Stop grinning at me, you Four-Eyes."

Does that ever stop him? "No," he replied cheerfully.

She frowned and he countered with puppy-dog eyes. They both knew this game, and she smiled, then, in triumph.

"Are you trying to be cute?"

"I don't know, is it working?"

"Not at all. I see right through you."

"But, but," he said, not stopping, "how can you resist these eyes?"

"Years of practice," she said, and laughed.

Clow paused, stripped of his Yuuko-survival mechanisms. She just grinned.

"You're not going to make me do something silly, are you? Like cook in the dark?"

"That would be counterproductive," she replied, waving a hand. "I'm not really interested in patching you up again. I'm not very good at it."
"You know," he said, looking away, "I can do some of these things by myself, really."

"Generally, patching up one's own injuries isn't a good idea," she replied sarcastically.

"No?"

"Of course not, you silly man. When you're injured, you generally don't have the ability to bandage yourself. Someone~," she said, voice lilting, "always has to be difficult~."

"I'm not that injured," he replied stubbornly.

"Can't you just let someone else take care of you once in a while? Just... once in a while."

Her voice was lighthearted on the last, but it was a serious question and she frowned a little in frustration. They'd already had this argument once, but she just didn't understand it. It wasn't like she was charging him for her help, here. Well, not beyond the services he generally provided. They more than made up for the occasional bandage or thoughtful discussion. She looked away from him, lips pursed.

He said nothing. Of course, he said nothing.

"It probably wouldn't kill you," she shot back.

"I don't want to impose," he said after a moment. "That sounds silly, but--"

She frowned. "You know when you're being imposing, and generally you do it intentionally. This is different."

"Well, because when I do it intentionally, it's optional. I don't have to force myself on other people then, so I can choose not to do it if it will be too much of a bother."

She didn't understand him, still. "So you don't like being forced to ask someone else for help?" She cocked her head to one side and utterly ignored the fact that she felt the same way.

"It's not that. Obviously I can ask for help, but it's sort of different when it's something like this. Don't you think?" He was trying, really.

"I do think--," she said, and grinned, because he probably wanted to make the joke, "--but I don't know how it's different really."

"It's a little more personal," he replied after a long moment.

Yuuko rolled her eyes. "You make everything so complicated, sometimes."

He turned and looked sheepishly at her, but she just smiled a little. She didn't think he did it intentionally-- at least most of the time.
"You dork," she said.

"Maybe it is a bit silly, granted," Clow replied, matching her smile with his own and leaning against her a little. "Perhaps I'll just have to change, then~."

"Well, that's up to you." She leaned back against him a little as well, getting comfortable.

"Maybe~," he replied, looking over at her thoughtfully.

She caught that look and lifted an eyebrow. "I can't force you to do anything. I just thought I'd point it out. "

"Oh! I know. That wasn't what that look was for," he said, a little surprised, and then he looked away again.

"Oh, and what was it for, then?" She leaned back against him more firmly. Feel the pressure.

"Oh, I don't know if it was a solid enough thought to put into words," he replied after a moment of consideration.

"There you go with the mysteriousness again. Don't you ever get bored of it?" She laughed and slid away a little, stretching out a bit.

"You know it's not intentional."

"Of course I know that," she replied victoriously, striking a pose. When I'm mysterious, it's always intentional. Someone can't switch his off."

"It's not that mysterious!"

Uh huh. Sure. She mimicked him for a moment. "Oh, here, have a look, but I don't know why~."

Both of them laughed. It wasn't the best impression, but really, they were both feeling loose and silly from the alcohol.

"So what was your not-solid thought?" Yuuko persisted.

"I was admiring you, in more than one sense of the word. If you must know," he replied, looking at the drink in his hand rather than at her.

"More than one sense?" She half-smiled, leaning closer, okay, flirting. She wanted to know what he meant.

"Hmm~~," he replied affirmatively, still dodging an answer.

"And what senses would those be?" She was not letting go.

"The usual ones."

"You could be more explanatory...," she replied. She grinned at him, a challenge.

He looked at her; she cocked her head to one side and looked back.

"Well, I of course think you're very lovely...," he began. "... And I admire your character."

"My character?" she repeats, nearly stuttering. Being praised for her beauty was one thing-- and expected-- but this other thing was, well... She wasn't so sure her character should be admired.

He had his reasons, but instead of explaining, he went back to drinking. Wordlessly, she offered her cup for a refill. When he filled it, she accepted the cup and swirled it around for a moment before taking a sip. The silence was thick for a moment.

"You sure know how to charm a girl, Clow.~"

He looked back at her, and then smiled and looked away. It was their usual dance, back and forth. Can I say this and what will you do? Should I provoke or tease or be serious? They were perpetually courting, it seemed.

She reached out and didn't touch him. Why did she always do that? She wasn't sure she knew. It was part of the whole thing. Her hand wandered back to her drink. He saw her reach and then pull back, but he made no comment.

"I can't imagine why anyone would admire my character," she said. It wasn't compliment-searching, this time. She just stared into her alcohol.

"Yours, maybe, I could see--" She stopped abruptly.

"You're strong, independent, mature; nothing like--"

He stopped, and then spoke again. "Heh. ... I don't really agree with anyone who says my character is admirable."

"I think we must see the best in each other, somehow." She laughed humorlessly.

"Or the worst in ourselves," he replied, grin broadening.

She laughed again, shortly. "Probably both."

She drank a little more and he leaned closer to her again.

"It's sort of funny, isn't it," she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"What is?"

She presented her forefinger solemnly. "The whole thing." Her tone was one of great revelation.

"Everything ever?" he replied with mock amazement.

"Everything. It's all a scam." She tried for wide-eyed innocence, but he just laughed.

"...No, but really." What did you mean? He didn't ask it, but she was good at reading him. She always had been.

She had probably been drinking too much; otherwise she would not say this out loud, but here it went. "Everything. The fact that you're here, and I'm here, and we're having this discussion, any discussion, really. I am still processing. It's just sort of funny because I never thought it would happen."

"I'm amazed by it every single day, really. I just sort of assumed this would never happen because I wasn't supposed to exist at all, and you..." He trailed off. "I wonder how much of it is really real?"

"Now, there's a depressing thought. Thank you for that one, Clow." She lifted her glass for an ironic toast and the glasses click together for a moment.

"It's what I do best~," he replied, but continued on the same vein. "No, but one of the times you were here before-- maybe it wasn't even the same Yuuko, somehow, but still-- you decided that this place was a dream. And then we decided that therefore--"

The hurt didn't show on his face. He was too good at hiding for that. "...Well, maybe it's not really important anymore."

"It doesn't feel like a dream... and I don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. I mean, you'd think I would be able to tell," she said, distracted from the end of his words by the thought of dreams.

She mumbled the next under her breath. "This other me..."

"It felt like a dream back then, somehow. To me, at least," he said. It still seemed very far away: the people they had been, the relationship they'd had. Or not had. "I believed it," he bit out.

"Dreams have a certain order to them, usually. I can tell when I'm dreaming here. Are we dreaming within dreams? That doesn't make sense. This whole place doesn't." Her mouth twisted. She didn't like this. Dreams were one of her specialties. She should be able to know.

"It makes its own kind of sense," he replied. "City-sense," seemed the best way to sum it up.

"How many times have I been here before, Clow?" Her voice was soft but sharp and she was holding her glass so tightly it seemed it might break.

"This would be the third time that I know of," he said, watching her.

"...I see." She loosened her grip enough that it might not be dangerous to stand near her glass, but the knuckles of her empty hand were white. She seemed angry. At herself, most likely. She hated not remembering. Memories... were important.

"...You know," he said converationally.

"Oh?" She welcomed the distraction. No matter how much she turned over the same ideas, they were still awful.

"Every time someone mentions that this city doesn't have a name, I think that we should name it," he said, with a faraway look in his eyes. "Maybe... petition the deities and have them hold an election or something. Or hold one ourselves and just start calling it something."

She smiled a little. "You like to name things." Which is a good thing, else the Mokona would be running around called after food.

" ... I wouldn't say that I'm any good at it. I don't know what I'd call the City if it were up to me personally," he replied. "But... things should have names."

She nodded. "Names are important."

"... I don't know, maybe it would even change something," he said philosophically.

"I don't know if I want to wake the City up," she returned.

"Why not?" he said with a mischievous grin.

"It's enough trouble already, you crazy mage. I think we were lucky just getting rain this week." She tried to look stern but failed utterly. It was difficult to manage right now.

"Maybe if we wake it up it will follow some sort of rule," he said. "...I don't know. I'm drunk."

"It would probably follow less rules. Do you want our house to go wandering around the City looking for a mate or something?" Yeah, she was obviously pretty drunk too. She didn't even blink to call it "our" house. That didn't stop her from drinking more.

He laughed... a lot. This was somehow so very funny.

"There's no reason why it couldn't do that now, if you think about it," he said cheerfully. "...And! And if it finds one! Then Doumeki and Watanuki can move in there. And I won't have to have an addition built."

She actually spit alcohol, she was laughing so hard. Still, she was somewhat touched. She knew what he was trying to do: keep his family close. She didn't blame him. The children visiting would have been a great thing, if it weren't for the circumstances overshadowing.

He drank some more.

"You are just so wonderfully ridiculous sometimes. It's times like these I know where Mokona gets it from."

"Mokona gets it from the bottle, just like I do," he replied, remembering fondly.

"Oh, half of it is just you. Admit it." She smiled widely.

He smiled innocently, so she poked his shoulder, leaning in a little closer. Her hand stayed there on his arm. He poked her in the side in retribution.

"What did he get from you, then~?" he replied.

"Do you want to be tickled again, really? Because I will~," she threatened. "Obviously, my brilliance and dry wit~."

"Hey, that's dangerous! I might spill my drink," he replied, holding it carefully.

"Well, we can't have that," she agreed solemnly.

"No~," he said, leaning in, "but we can have..."

A kiss. A deep one. She was... um. Tasting his wine. To make sure it was the same. It wasn't a kiss, really. Certainly not a romantic kiss with a bit of tongue. Mmm. Absolutely not. Her inhibitions weren't that low.

But his were. When it broke, he nuzzled her neck and rested his head on her shoulder.

"I love you," he said.

Yeah, they were that low.

"I-- I--"

She looked a bit panicked here, because, well, she knew, but it was different somehow if it wasn't said. It might change things and she didn't want-- didn't know how--

"I don't know how to say that," she said, gasping for a second.

He looked up, lazily, and pressed a finger to her lips.

"Then don't~," he replied.

She sighed and looked away, her body going stiff. It wasn't that his words made her unhappy, but...

The Dimension Witch might be a little scared of this change.

He pulled away from their embrace, not... quite sure if he regretted that or not. Maybe not. But he didn't know what to do now. Taking another sip of wine was the obvious answer.

"I think you're drunk." She couldn't look at him, sipping at her own drink.

"Well, yes~," he admitted freely. "Maybe...," he hesitated, "I should go to bed."

"It's not going to be fun waking up tomorrow, that's for sure." She shrugged, her gaze still focused elsewhere.

He simply smiled in answer and stood up, taking his glass with him.

"Goodnight, Yuuko."

"Good night, Clow." She didn't move yet, but she did look at him again.

He looked back, smiling, and walked off-- upstairs.

After a long moment, she sighed, and followed him up the stairs to her own bed.

******

"Stop grinning at me, you four-eyes."

Clow and Yuuko were settled on the couch, sharing a bottle of wine. It was late, probably far later than either of them should have been up if they expected to be awake at any reasonable time the next day, and they were both already nursing a slight buzz. This was their second bottle of wine, and Clow refused to stop. Grinning. It was the beginning of a silent argument consisting mostly of facial expressions and gestures that could only end one way: by Yuuko conceding because she didn't feel like beating him up.

"... I don't want to have to patch you up again," she said finally, crossing her arms and telling herself that it's because she's so bad at it.

"I can do some of those things myself, though," he protested gently, looking at her over his glass of wine. "Really."

"Generally, patching up one's own injuries is not a good idea." The look on Clow's face told Yuuko that she'd have to actually explain the logic behind this. Silly man. "... Because you are injured and therefore likely not in a condition to think rationally or to physically be able to bandage yourself."

"Not if it's just a minor injury."

"Can't you let someone take care of you once in a while?" He could be so difficult sometimes. "Just. Once in a while. It probably won't kill you."

Clow hesitated a while before answering. "This sounds silly, but I don't want to impose."

Oh, for heaven's sake! "You know when you're imposing. You do it intentionally and this is something utterly different."

"Yes, but usually it's optional. I don't have to; it's just for fun." He wasn't sure that this was the right answer - not in the sense of making Yuuko less annoyed, but in the sense of the most truthful one.

"So, you don't like being forced to ask someone else for help?"

"That's not it." He thought of Sakura, whom he had asked for so much, but... that was different, too. There were other people involved, people who needed her because he could no longer be there. "But it's sort of different when it's something like this, don't you think?"

"I do think--" She paused, and he looked up at her with confusion. "-- but I don't know how it's different, really."

"... It's a little more personal," he realized, looking down at his glass as he said those words.

They both fell silent, then. She spoke up first: "You make everything so complicated, sometimes."

A pause, and then she added, smiling, "Dork."

He grinned sheepishly. "Maybe it is a bit silly."

"Well, it's good that you recognize it, then." They went quiet again, each lost in their own little world until she caught him looking at her with a thoughtful look on his face. She raised an eyebrow at it to tell him that he had been caught, but he didn't stop. "I can't force you to do anything; I just thought I'd point it out."

"Oh! I know," he replied, snapping out of his reverie before looking away again. "That wasn't what that look was for."

"... Oh. What was it for then?" Since he was being so resistant, she felt the need to lean into his personal space as she asked this.

"I don't know if it was a solid enough thought to put into words," he said dismissively, complete with a little handwavey gesture.

"There you go with the mysteriousness again. Don't you ever get bored~?" She withdrew again to her side of the couch, lounging and taking a sip of her wine.

"You know it's not intentional."

"Of course I know." This came with a smug look on her part, and a stylish pose with the wine glass. "Mine is always intentional~. Someone can't switch his off."

"It's not that mysterious!" He said, shifting a little uncomfortably. The blush on his cheeks from the wine probably only added to the effect this may have had.

Yuuko rolled her eyes. "'Oh, here, have a look, but I don't know why~.'" They both laughed until, feeling persistent, she spoke up again. "So, what was your not-solid thought?"

He decided not to look at her as he answered, his drink suddenly becoming much more interesting. "I was admiring you, if you must know, in more than one sense of the word."

"More than one sense?" Yuuko grinned, looking forward to being told how beautiful she is.

"Mmhm."

"And what senses would those be?"

"The usual ones."

She let that silence hang for a moment. "You could be more explanatory."

They exchanged looks - his expression was one of those unreadable ones and she simply cocked her head to one side, curious but smiling.

"Well, I of course think you're very lovely..." he hesitated, finding it hard to say the next words as though he wanted to keep them. They were his. "And I admire your character."

"My character?" Being praised for her beauty was one thing and expected but this other is, well. She wasn't so sure her character should be admired at all. They were both silent again for a while; he wordlessly refilled her empty wine glass and took a strong sip from his own before she was finally the one to break the awkward silence again. "You sure know how to charm a girl, Clow."

He gave one of those silent laughs as his only response and looked away, suddenly realizing that it had been so quiet a moment ago because neither one had been breathing. She reached out to him while he wasn't looking, but then... didn't quite touch him. She withdrew to pick up her drink instead.

"I can't imagine why anyone would admire my character." She was staring into her alcohol now, not even fishing for compliments. She wasn't in the mood.

He interrupted. "You're strong, independent, mature; nothing like--"

"Yours, maybe, I could see--" She had interrupted him, and they both stopped at the same time, looking at each other. And then she laughed. "I think we see the best in each other, somehow."

"Maybe." He smiled. "Or the worst in ourselves."

"Probably both." They drank in good-natured silence, each draining at least another glass or so. He was the one who leaned against her first, but she rested her head on his shoulder and was the first to say anything - again. "It's sort of funny, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"The whole thing." She presented this as a great revelation, as you do when you're drunk.

He gasped in mock amazement. "Everything ever?"

"Everything," she deadpanned with wide-eyed innocence. "It's all a scam."

He laughed. "... Really, what did you mean?"

"Everything. The fact that you're here, and I'm here, and we're having this discussion - any discussion, really." She rambled a little, uncharacteristically of her. She had probably been drinking too much; otherwise she'd never say this out loud. "I am still processing this. It's just sort of funny because I never thought it would happen."

"I'm amazed by it every single day, myself." Clow allowed those words to hang for a moment, resting his head against hers. He sounded far away. "I just sort of assumed that this would never happen because I wasn't supposed to exist anymore at all and you..." he didn't want to finish that sentence. "... I wonder how much of this is truly real?"

"Now there's a depressing thought. Thank you for that one, Clow." An ironic toast.

"It's what I do best~." He paused but then went on, wanting to explain why the thought had occurred to him. "... One of the times you were here before - maybe it wasn't the same Yuuko, somehow, but still - you came to the conclusion that this place was a dream. And we agreed that therefore--" that therefore he was a dream, too, he didn't say. But if that was true, then so was she, now, wasn't she? He didn't want to think about it anymore. "... well, maybe that's not really important anymore."

"It doesn't feel like a dream..." she trailed off. "And I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, you'd think I would be able to tell. This other me." She corrected herself.

"It felt like a dream back then, somehow. To me, at least." But he didn't remember quite why he thought that. "I believed it."

"Dreams have a certain order to them, usually," she explained. It wasn't something she'd understand as well as she did, was it? "I can tell when I'm dreaming here. Are we dreaming within dreams? That doesn't make sense. This whole place doesn't."

"It makes its own kind of sense." He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "City-sense."

She didn't join him, though, lost in her own train of thought. "How many times have I been here before, Clow?"

"This would be the third time that I know of." Maybe more. Doumeki, he thought, would know better than he would.

"I see."

She looked angry - at herself, one might guess, for not remembering. Clow felt bad for bringing it up, but... well. She was always important to him, even then. "You know," he said after a few moments, figuring that he could finally distract her now that they were both quiet.

"Oh?"

"Every time someone mentions that this City doesn't have a name, I think that we should give it one." He smiled, having one of his crazy ideas again. "Maybe think up a bunch of names and vote on them or something."

"You like to name things." She smiled.

"Things should have names."

"Names are important."

"... I don't know, maybe it would even change something." Now he was really excited, with that smile he sometimes had when he thought that something unlikely might really work. Yuuko wasn't so certain about it, however.

"I don't know if I want to wake the City up."

"Why not?"

"It's enough trouble already, you crazy mage," she reprimanded, trying to look stern but failing utterly. "I think we were lucky, just getting rain this week."

"Maybe if we wake it up it will follow some sort of rule." He reasoned, in between long sips of wine. "I don't know. I'm drunk."

"It would probably follow fewer rules. Do you want our house to go wandering around the City looking for a mate or something?" That sounded almost like something he'd say - she must be really drunk. So she drank some more, therefore, while he laughed uncontrollably at the mental image.

"There's no reason why it couldn't do that now, if you think about it. And! And if it finds one!" He had to pause dramatically, caught in another fit of laughter. "Then Doumeki and Watanuki can move in there and I won't have to have an addition built."

She did a spit-take from laughing too hard, and he drank deeply of his own glass. Making Yuuko do that was part of a secret drinking game that he had been playing privately for a few couple of centuries now.

"You are just so wonderfully ridiculous sometimes," she said as she recovered herself, sighing. "It's times like these I know where Mokona gets it from."

"Mokona gets it from the bottle, just like I do," he said casually, swirling his drink around in his glass. Everything was so pleasantly warm and blurry to him now from the alcohol.

"Oh, half of it is just you. Admit it." She smiled widely, and he merely responded by raising an eyebrow ever so slightly and smiling back in a look that meant, 'I don't know what you're talking about!' but only when he really did. Liar. She poked him in the shoulder, only to be poked back - but then he thought of something.

"What did they get from you, then?"

"My brilliance and dry wit, obviously~." But Clow couldn't respond to her remark because he was more concerned with the fact that she looked like she was about to tickle him.

"Hey, that's dangerous!" He protested, cradling his drink gently as though it required the utmost concentration in order to hold without dropping. Maybe it did for him, right now. "I might spill my drink."

"Well, we can't have that." She stopped.

"Not at all. But we can have..."

He kissed her, slowly and gently, feeling the softness of her lips and her tongue, which tasted like wine mixed with... Yuuko. Like good sex it was mutual and there was a point when it definitely ended, with no one having to pull out too soon. He rested his head on her shoulder when it was over, his inhibitions so low that he said exactly what was on his mind just then.

"I love you."

She panicked, then, because-- well, she knew, but it's different if you don't say it. It might change things now, and she doesn't want-- doesn't know-- "I-I--... I don't know how to say that."

He looked up at her, calm and almost lazy about it. She never really said it, but she came close once... not that she remembers it now. But this hadn't been the reaction he had wanted; there was no need for her to say it. His emotions were his - wasn't she the one who always said that emotions were free? She shouldn't need to reciprocate, then.

He pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her. "Then don't."

She sighed and looked away at that point, and once again he wasn't sure if that was what he was going for. He pulled away from her embrace, sitting up straight again, not quite sure whether or not he regrets what he's done. Or if he's aware of it - after all, it changes nothing on his side since he made that decision a long time ago.

"I think you're drunk." She still wouldn't look at him, sipping her wine instead.

"Well, yes~." Hadn't they already gone over that? He smiled at giving the obvious answer, but it quickly faded. "Maybe..." he said with uncertainty, "maybe I should go to bed."

"It's not going to be fun waking up tomorrow, that's for sure," she remarked with a shrug. He wondered what she meant for a second - if it was in reference to their conversation a minute ago - and then realized, oh, the hangover. Such a mundane thing to think about right now. He couldn't switch gears that quickly so he simply smiled and stood up, taking his glass with him.

"Goodnight, Yuuko."

"Goodnight, Clow."

She looked up at him again, as he was leaving, and he glanced back. They shared a smile.