log; complete; closed.

[abdicate-you.livejournal.com]

When: June 6th, late at night.
Rating: I'm guessing G, maybe PG for teh emo of it all.
Characters: Wesley Wyndham-Price (discessum) and Illyria (ancient_smurf).
Summary: Wesley drops by the mansion to have a talk with Faith and of course, Illyria is always around to cheer him up afterwards.
Log:

Another intruder. Or guest, perhaps. Illyria didn't have the patience to adjust her view on Wesley's charge, not at the moment and possibly not ever. Compromise. Change and make it all fit together. She walked down the empty hallway, glancing out of the windows once in a while without stopping to really notice anything. It was not a difficult task, merely an inconvenience. Looking for the small details, the individual pieces of a puzzle she didn't really care about finishing in the first place. You still haven't found a purpose for yourself here yet. Insufferable creatures, all of them. Expecting her to fit in, to change, as if plasticity was the easiest thing in the known universe. No, she had not been given life to stand her ground without moving forward. She was never wary of engaging in battle, not even if the goal was difficult to perceive. For treasure, for power, for the sake of conquering land and expanding herself, to reach further, always further - this, she could understand. Motivation had never been a critical consideration before because everything used to be simple. Act to gain results and enrich life in every possible way; things had definitely changed since then. Her prosperous kingdom had long since been turned to dust and she was left with specs of the past, locked in her mind as potentially meaningless memories. That and a useless, human shell that brought her nothing but confusion, infected her with human remains and making her want to claw her way out, if only it wouldn't kill her. It belonged to her, yet it kept her enslaved to human emotions and memories that she had no use for. They couldn't even help her change. Winifred Burkle had been a pitiful creature, jittery and nervous, her mind occupied with abstractions and emotional conflicts. It was like possessing an enormous library, nearly brimming over with important texts and books - only to realize that everything was written in the wrong language, for the wrong reasons, by the wrong person. If this place should happen to bring in her Qwa'ha Xahn, she would relish the change to kill him again and again, for bringing this fate upon her when he should have been wiser. She ended up in the library again, as always. Something inside of her was drawn to it, to the books on the shelves, the knowledge hidden between the pages. It was a difficult craving to understand since she had never really cared much for acquiring knowledge in this manner. It was almost an urge, something that she didn't want to ignore though, rationally, it didn't make any sense. The shelves were partly empty, the hollow spaces making the room appear even larger than it was. It wasn't large enough, but it would do, like everything else. It had to, as there were no better alternatives. Passing one shelve, she grabbed a book and headed for the nearest window, a sparse light from outside illuminating the floor and causing her shadow to trail behind her, only barely perceptible. Weak. She ignored the implications, annoyed enough already. She shouldn't care about the girl or her ties to Wesley. She shouldn't be angry about sharing his attention because his attention shouldn't matter. And yet. Standing with the book in one hand, its light weight barely an afterthought, she looked out of the window. She would explore, find a way to understand the urges passing through her like currents of painful electricity. Look to others, look to yourself. And then, change. If it was possible at all. You're already changing, Illyria. She closed her eyes and let the changes ripple through her form, leathery armour replaced by soft fabrics, her body feeling even more wrong than usual as she shuddered at the coolness of the room against her bare arms and legs. Human flaws. She would endure, for now. She had no use for Winifred Burkle. Or maybe she just didn't know what to do with everything the girl left behind when she rotted away for good. Maybe this was change. She sat down by the window and flicked to page one.