Log; Complete

[medic-assistant.livejournal.com]

When; Sept. 2nd, evening
Rating; G
Characters; Shizune {medic_assistant} and Kabuto {snake_servant}
Summary; Shizune asks to speak to Kabuto concerning their new neighbor, and they speak about her plans for what will happen next. This degenerates into some very confusing and awkward conversation.
Log;

Kabuto shifted his weight from foot to foot, knowing that where ever this conversation was going to go, he wasn’t going to like it. It wasn’t like him to be nervous, but the more time he spent around Shizune the more emotions that he wasn’t used to kept popping up. Some he couldn’t put a name to, or maybe he was afraid to put a name too. Plus, things had been awkward since their last real conversation. With a final deep breath to strengthen his resolve, he knocked on her door. “Shizune san?”

Shizune looked away from the... computer. She had not spoken to Kabuto in person since she'd brought him soup when he had been sick, and for a reason. She didn't know what to say in person. Because if she was facing him, she'd be confronted with the source of her confusion. But face him she had to do, because not only did they share a living space, but they needed to discuss something. She stood, going to the door. Every step was slow, deliberate, as she steeled her nerves. She opened the door, trying to make sure her serious expression never wavered. "Kabuto."

He stood there awkwardly for a second, just sort of staring at her. When was the last time he had actually seen her in person? He snapped back to his senses when he realized how foolish he must look. “You wanted to speak to me?” He knew what about, but he also knew there must be more to it than just general concern over Orochimaru moving in two doors down. He knew her view on his master.

"Yes." She opened the door a little wider. "Please, come in." She made sure to set out another chair before he'd come. She was a little wooden in her motions, watching him. It seemed... surreal, almost. This entire situation. Well... the whole thing from the minute she'd arrived in the City, when he'd taken her out when she'd believed this entire thing was a dream, to when he'd admitted to... not being drunk, when she'd propositioned him on that curse day.

Kabuto stepped into her room slowly. He had never been in here, though it was technically his apartment. He saw the chairs set out, two, meaning he was meant to sit. He made his way over and did just that, watching her. His stomach was fluttering wildly; fear, anticipation, he didn’t know. All he knew was that his hear was pounding, and he wasn’t exactly sure why. “So…”

Shizune closed the door behind him and followed to the seat opposite. She kept a rather Spartan room, the sheets folded neatly, the desk occupied with only a few writing utensils and the computer, and the walls bare. Living on her own and on the road for years had conditioned her not to carry much in the way of home decor, nor was she used to having it. "Orochimaru is two doors down, then." She finally spoke.

Cautiously, Kabuto nodded. “Yes, I believe that is the case. This upsets you?” It wasn’t so much a question as a statement of fact. Shizune would not be happy living anywhere near Orochimaru, and he knew that. Maybe she wanted him to do something about that, but if he found Orochimaru better accommodations concerning his tastes, he would probably have to move as well. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t moved many times before. Orochimaru had many bases that he continually switched between in different countries, never really staying in one for more than once. But, for once, he didn’t want to move.

"... of course it does." She spoke slowly, not meeting his eyes. This was still too awkward, more than it should be. But then again, she would never have imagined she'd share an apartment with Kabuto, eat dinner with Kabuto, or even tolerate Kabuto. This City... had messed up everything she'd known and believed. "I..." She stopped, thinking about what exactly she was meaning to say.

“…Yes?” He prompted. He wanted to be careful with what he said; he always was, but this was one time were he was really concerned about a slip up. Odd considering how many years, and in how many different situations, he had been a spy. Pretending to be someone he was not for extended periods of time.

"... you've spoken with him, I assume?" She changed her mind about what she wanted to come out of her mouth. She looked steadily at the upper rim of his glasses, trying not to let her gaze slip down to his. She didn't quite know what she meant to say, or what would happen, something she too was not used to.

“Only once, and not in person. I just expressed my surprise at seeing him in the City.” Kabuto shifted around in his chair, it wasn’t an uncomfortable chair, it was just that he couldn’t sit still. “Other than that, there has been no contact between us. I think Orochimaru sama has taken up residence in apartment five at Kimimaro san’s request.”

"You plan further contact, of course." She prompted. It was such silence, such unbearable silence in that room. And she knew why, that's what bothered her. Knew it was silent because she wasn't able to say what was really on her mind.

“I am his second in command.” Kabuto studied a spot on the floor as if it were particularly interesting. “So if he requires something of me, I have to follow orders. So further contact is eminent.” The foreboding feeling was growing. He thought he had better control over himself than this.

"Of course." She answered quickly. "I expected nothing less." As if he would care about her expectations. She tried to lean back in her chair as if perfectly relaxed. "What sort of things would he be planning in this world, would you know?" She knew the answer, but she asked anyway. "Am I in danger, where I am now?"

“No, no of course you aren’t in danger.” Kabuto’s eyes shot from the floor to Shizune’s, widened a little. “Also, I don’t know if he plans anything. As I said, the two of us barely spoke, if that.” He wanted to beg her to trust him, he felt the most powerful impulse to do so, but squashed it. If he did that, what little respect she had for him would be gone.

"I find that hard to believe, you understand." She met his gaze for the briefest moment, saw the shock in his eyes, and marveled that he displayed it so openly after she'd been so used to seeing that expression hooded and guarded. But... he had been... easier to read... more open, since... she didn't want to think on it, and tore her gaze away with a bit of regret.

“I promise nothing will happen.” Kabuto said, perhaps a little too quickly. “There is no reason for Orochimaru sama to want to cause you any harm anyway, not in the City. It would do him no good, besides, you have no place in his plans. He doesn’t even consider you a hindrance.” I little rude, but true. “As such, he won’t even look your way.”

"Everyone is a pawn to him, yes?" She took no offense, as she knew it to be true as well. The man had almost killed Tsunade-sama, she knew what he was capable of, knew that he could kill her in less effort than it took to speak. "I can't imagine he would just let me run about unhindered, unwatched, alive and resisting anything he tries to do here." She half-met Kabuto's eyes. "And you know I can't not try and stop him." As if wanting him to understand that, to forgive her that sentiment.

“Yes, they are.” He knew he too was only a pawn, but as long as he was useful, it wasn’t a problem to him. Or rather, it hadn’t been. “I don’t think he would bother with you.” What he really wanted to say was that he wouldn’t let Orochimaru bother her. “There is nothing he can do to Konoha here, you have no reason to make him notice you.” It was as close to a plea for her to try and keep herself alive as he could come.

"There is something he can do." The emotion she had been trying to keep from this conversation was creeping in against her will. "Anyone he kills here can't return to our world. All he has to do to drastically cripple Konoha is kill off everyone here he considers an enemy. Then he could return to Konoha and rest easy knowing... Jiraiya is here, Tsunade-sama... everyone..." She tried to keep level. "I can't just let that happen."

Kabuto stopped himself, unbelieving in what he was about to say. It was impossible to keep the promise he had been about to make on impulse. Besides, Orochimaru was his master and such thoughts were enough to get him killed, with a good bit of torture first. Instead he nodded, examining the floor once more. “I understand. What do you want to do then?”

"I..." She faltered, and sought his gaze, only to find him staring at the floor. Slowly, she reached out and touched the side of his face, gently, as if she could break him, though she knew she couldn't. "If he told you to kill me... you'd do it... wouldn't you?"

Kabuto looked into Shizune’s eyes, unsure of what it was he was seeing there, only knowing it was keeping him from forming words. Slowly he shook his head, keeping his eyes locked with hers. He wouldn’t kill her, somehow he knew he wouldn’t survive it.

"Oh, come now, Kabuto..." She said sadly. "You would." She didn't move her hand, almost as if... should she move it, he would disappear. "You'd have to."

Kabuto forced himself to speak. “No, there would have to be another option.” Even if there wasn’t he would find one. “I wouldn’t kill you, this isn’t three years ago. I… I wouldn’t.” He wanted to say something else, he didn’t know what it was exactly, but he felt there was something he needed to tell her, something important.

She smiled slowly, a bit sadly. "What if there wasn't another option?" She couldn't accept his answer, because if she accepted that he wouldn't do as ordered, that he would defy his master for her life, then she would have to face that he... that he cared. And she couldn't face that, for it meant facing what she herself felt.

“Shizune, there… I would make another option. I know you don’t trust me, or particularly like me, but I keep my word when I give it. And I’m giving it now.” Kabuto felt his age, felt how young and inexperienced he was. For the first time he was in a situation where he didn’t know what to do, and couldn’t seem to control the things coming out of his mouth very well. His emotions were probably playing across his face unhindered as well. “I don’t know what it is you want me to tell you, or what you want to do about all this.”

Shizune stayed silent for a moment, watching his face. Watch emotions on that face that had previously held no emotion, listened to a voice that had once been cold, and saw eyes that were open, where they'd once been guarded. She opened her mouth to answer, closed it, and looked at him again. Really looked. Her hand trembled slightly. "I want you to tell me..." But she couldn't finish.

Kabuto didn’t really understand the conversation anymore, and not because Shizune hadn’t finished her sentence. Really, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what she had been about to ask, or if he’d be able to answer. “So…” He needed to know what they were doing about all this, “what is the plan?” Mentally he flinched, maybe she was going to go back to ‘we are enemies’ and being cold towards him again.

Shizune snapped back to the moment, withdrawing her hand as if it had been improper, and... perhaps it had been. She lowered her eyes, thinking. "I..." She wasn't going to finish her last sentence, because even she wasn't sure how it ended. "I'm not sure if I can stay much longer..." She glanced to the wall, knowing that through it, not two hundred feet away, was the most evil man she had ever known.

“So,” Kabuto swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying to keep him from speaking, “You’re going to move out?” Something in the back of his head was screaming for him to stop her, not let her do something like that, but it wasn’t his decision to make. It was hers. “Where will you go then? You can’t leave the city.”

"I... don't know if I will." She answered honestly. She had to be prepared to go though, if Orochimaru was going to move, going to do something. It would force her hand. But she didn't want to impose on one of the genin... well, they were chuunin and jounin now, but she always thought of them like that. And... the ticking made her... lonely. She... would miss this place, she would miss Serph and his quiet manner, and she would miss the company, and the excitement... and Kabuto, she'd miss him too. She decided to finish her sentence from before. "Would... you miss me, if I did?"

Kabuto was surprised by the question, and could only nod dumbly. He would miss her. It was strange feeling this… attachment… to Shizune. One that he couldn’t quite put a name to, only that it made feel strange. Strange, for once, being a confusing but decidedly good thing. “Can I convince you to stay?”

"How will you convince me?" She asked, questions with more questions, not really knowing anymore exactly what she was saying, because she was looking at his eyes, looking in them for something she didn't understand.

“I don’t know. I just,” Kabuto hesitated, not sure what to say, “I just want you to stay. I can’t explain it.” He really couldn’t, all of this was foreign to him. His entire life he had been pretending to be friends with people, nice, kind, caring. But he had never felt those things.

"Ask me to." She answered her own question. "Just... ask." She felt his... hesitance, and it occurred to her that he had probably never... been... cared for, in any way. All his life. And it made her eyes sad, made her sad to think that she might be the first person to... care.

Kabuto could see sadness in her eyes; was he the cause of it. Once he would have derived some sort of pleasure from knowing he was the cause of someone else’s unhappiness; perhaps with anyone he would be amused, but not now. “Will you stay?”

Shizune nodded slowly. "Alright." She couldn't just decide on her own. She couldn't choose to stay so close to Orochimaru on her own. She needed... wanted... someone to ask her to. "I'll stay."

Kabuto smiled, feeling the need to jump out of his seat, but managed not to. “Good, it wouldn’t be the same without you here.” Unconsciously, he reached forward and brushed a strand of hair from Shizune’s face. He pulled it back quickly, a tinge of pink in his cheeks.

"... thank you." She said slowly, now even more unsure of what to do. She didn't want to, but she couldn't help but laugh a little, softly, at his face. He looked... so young, so... normal, with that blush on his cheeks.

“W..what?” Why was she laughing at him, did he do something he wasn’t supposed to? He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do in this situation. She probably didn’t want him touching her, especially after he admitted what had happened on that particular curse night, but why would she laugh at him?

"You." She answered, smiling. She reached over and moved some of his hair in return, her touch lingering a bit. She'd been so serious, so pent-up about the whole thing that now that she'd made the decision to stay she just... couldn't not laugh, smile, do anything but frown and ponder.

Kabuto felt his cheeks redden further. “Me?” This was awkward to him in a completely different way than before. He was… embarrassed. The second time she had done this to him, and he still didn’t know how to work around it.

"You." She answered again. It was... strange, almost to see him like this, when she'd only seen it once before, when she'd touched his hand. That it might be her was an even stranger thought, but in this City she was afraid strange was no longer such.

Kabuto felt a little indignant, he wasn’t funny. “What about me is funny? I haven’t done anything to be laughed.” He was pretty sure he hadn’t anyway. Not that he could recall.

"You. Blushing." She pointed out, smiling a little, for now he looked a little miffed, almost a pout. "It's... cute." She extended her index finger to lightly tap his cheek. "Right there."

He swatted at her finger. “I am not.” It was a lie, but he refused to admit the truth, because it was too far fetched. “And, I am not!” No male his age wanted to be called “cute”. How red was he going to turn because of this one woman?

"Are too." She was just being a little stubborn now. A weight had lifted off her shoulders, and she felt... better. Smiling, she tapped his cheek again, just... well... perhaps just because it made him blush. And she wanted to see him do that, wanted to be able to remember it, later, if everything went wrong.

Kabuto stood, he was being picked on; this was quite possibly the most perfect example of karma ever. “I am not!” That sounded too much like a plea for his taste; perhaps it was time to flea?

"What would you rather be?" She stayed seated, watching him. He was getting worked up, and she backed off a little, not wanting to... scare him. It was becoming more and more apparent to her that very few, if not no one, had ever treated him... kindly.

“I’m too old to be “cute” Shizune san. Only young boys are cute, and females.” He said sort of stiffly, feeling ridiculous. He was acting years younger than he was, he should be ashamed of himself. “You are cute, I’m not.” Realizing what he said, his eyes widened and his blush deepened again. He really needed to get control of his tongue.

She didn't point out the deeper shade of pink his cheeks were turning, not wanting to upset him anymore. "I've been called 'a handsome sort of pretty' before, so I'll trade you." She couldn't say she was acting her age either, for that matter. But... she didn't really care right now. "You can be handsome then, and I'll take cute."

Kabuto paused for a moment. She was calling him handsome… well in a roundabout sort of way. “It’s a deal. You are cute, I am not.” He emphasized, just to make sure they were clear. This conversation had taken a very weird turn.

"Deal." She looked down as her stomach rumbled. ... She hadn't eaten yet, since she'd been very occupied with avoiding Kabuto. She looked up at him, giving a sheepish sort of tentative smile. "... Don't suppose you're making dinner?"

It was Kabuto’s turn to laugh. “Yes I am; why, are you hungry?”

"... very." She was glad she got him to laugh. She would be able to remember that too, if things ended badly. She liked to remember people, being happy.

Kabuto made his way to the door, pausing at it to look back over his shoulder. “You could help me if you want, I did say I would teach you some more about cooking.”

"... Sure." She smiled, and followed him out the door, her burden feeling just a little lighter, at least for the moment.