http://irresoluteness.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] irresoluteness.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] tampered2009-08-25 01:34 am

log; ongoing

When; August 15th (Admit You're Happy curse)
Rating; PG-13? Maybe?
Characters; Lyle Dylandy ([livejournal.com profile] irresoluteness) and Lockon Stratos ([livejournal.com profile] haroicsacrifice)
Summary; Well, if the truth curse couldn't do it, this will.
Log; Truthfully, he doesn't understand this feeling as it comes up and overwhelms him. It hits him when he wakes up, when he takes a drag off his cigarette and haphazardly makes eggs. It's the first time he's felt it since he's come back; there's been the weight of disappointment since returning, the feeling of arriving back without Anew waiting for him or even the petty spats with his brother. The latter would return with the arrival of Neil himself, but he became used to that feeling of normalcy. Living with the dead—it's like living in the past, but he's realized there's no problem with embracing aspects of the past, in understanding those aspects, as long as he's willing to look to the future.

But that doesn't make it easy.

For some reason, this feeling makes it easy. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, and he grabs his network device, half-tempted to share the feeling with others. But he stops, fingers pressing against the power button. How he feels—he knows Neil wouldn't want that aspect portrayed to all. For all his brother's expertly exerted warmth, there's a sense of privacy there. It's all a little too sugarcoated, a little too easy. In some ways, it isn't all that different from Lyle's ease of words and mocking sensibilities, only on the opposite end of the spectrum. Neil pretends he's okay so no one pays attention; Lyle pretends that there's nothing to be okay about. Of the two, neither of them know how to cope. Coping is something they do in private. Admitting things, feeling things, pushing those forward for all to see—that has to happen in private, too. There's only one way to do that, and it doesn't involve dialing his brother's number and asking him to meet him somewhere. It's better to go to the source, and even if it corners Neil—because Neil, like Lyle, is just as guilty of avoiding him at times—it's better. This is something Lyle needs him to know.

Lyle chuckles easily to himself as he pulls on his clothes and starts out of his place, jogging down the steps until he's on his way to where the rest of the Meisters live. (He realizes, instantly, that he's happy that they're there, too, and happy they have these stolen moments with the Lockon who gave a name to live up to.) The jog is unusual for him, but he slows to a trot as he hits the front of the building and heads inside. A hand clumsily fiddles with his pants pocket to pull out a slender cigarette to tuck into his mouth, and after lighting it—the flick of the lighter seems to echo down the hallway—he inhales a bit of smoke, and then raises his free hand (having tucked away the lighter) up to knock on the door.

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