Log; Shin & Shuu

[kongo-king.livejournal.com]

When; Slightly after the prison break
Rating; PG tops. These boys are pretty clean.
Characters; Shin Mouri and Shuu Lei Faun
Summary; Shin and Shuu talk about a few things that need talking about. Shin is in conflict about his armor, and Shuu's brain is partially imploded on account of the Message OAV having a critical making-sense failure.
Log;

Shuu had just come home from work. He was in dire need of a shower and a snack, though not necessarily in that order. Setting down his bag beside the door, he headed for the most likely place to cure his bad case of the munchies. He had a feeling he'd have to talk to Shin about the armour, and he'd prefer to do it on a full stomach. If he knew Shin, and he did, a lot of what he was about to tell him was not going to be pleasant.


Poor Shuu got ambushed. Shin was sitting in the kitchen with a mug of tea. He was staring into it, but when his friend came in, he switched his gaze to the older boy.

"I want to leave. That's why I was in that place, because I thought about giving up Suiko -- I don't want to be an armor bearer any more, Shuu, I don't want to do this. I'm sick of it always being us and I'm sick of getting hurt and no one caring and no one thanking us. Why can't somebody else save the world?"

The feelings were awful and selfish and hurtful, but it felt good just to let them pour out.


Well shit. So much for that cunning plan.

"Er... yeah. We... well, I've already gone through this with you. The future you." He scratched the back of his neck. "Man, this is weird. But yeah, I figured that's why they nabbed you."

As for the why... Shuu gave a small exhale. "About the other thing... it's gonna sound lame and cliche like every bad movie out there, but we're the only ones who can."


Shin's eyes filled with tears and he almost threw his mug on the floor.

"That's not fair!"


Shuu plopped down in his chair rather heavily. He'd been through this. Shin hadn't and it was going to hurt. Who knew if Shin would even remember when he got home?

"If you think it'll make you feel better, you can punch me in the face again."


Shin paused, looking up at him.

"I punched you in the face?" He couldn't even imagine doing that. He was the least violent of any of them, and from a point of pure self-preservation...

"I don't want to punch you."

Shuu managed to crack a smile.

"Thank god. You're stronger than you look."


Shin tried to smile back, but it crumpled.

"I'm not. I'm not like you, or any of the others. I'm not strong enough to do this. I'll fail all of you."


Shuu was quiet. He always knew Shin had his doubts and he'd never been upfront about them. And the one time Shin had tried, in a round about way to talk about what was bothering him, Shuu had kind of blown him off, not really taking it seriously.

"To be honest, I think we're the ones who kinda fail you."


To see things that way would completely skew Shin's worldview.

"No," he said softly. "Every battle I feel it coming closer. I'm just not as strong as you all. I'm not made for this life." And when he failed them, they'd die. Because they were depending on him, and he couldn't be trusted.


"I dunno, Shin..." Shuu shrugged. "I think you're a lot stronger than you think you are. I mean, you're the one who stops us before we go far. I mean, Ryo and me, we just kinda lose control and fight everything that moves. Seiji and Touma, not so much, but Seiji's all about the duty and honor, and Touma... sometimes I don't think the guy knows his limits. You kind of hold us all together, you notice when things are going really, really wrong. I can't even begin to count the number of times you've saved my ass."


Shuu's words helped, but it was like putting a band-aid on an amputated limb.

"Shuu... I can't any more. I just can't."


Where was Shin? ...Right before the black armour. Right before Mukara, and right after what happened with Seiji. Shuu thought back over the years, from the day he got Kongo, to the point where Suzunagi had them all trapped.

"You're at that point, huh? Well, I still believe in you."


That made Shin blush, and he looked up, a little bit of hope behind his eyes.

"You said we went through this before...?"


Shuu nodded. "Yeah. Swear to god, you nearly had me down for the count. Sorry I was kind of a jerk back then, but to be fair, you'd just clocked Touma too."

Damn Shin was cute when he blushed. ...And Shuu totally did not just think that. Bad Shuu. Bad! No weird thoughts about your best friend.


Shin blushed, looking down. Somehow, his mug had ended up on the table, and his summoning orb in his hands. They rested limply in his lap.

"What happened then?"


"A lot." Shuu looked away nervously. "I probably shouldn't tell you. I mean, I'm no physics expert but this kind of thing might like, rip the universe in half or something."


Shin smiled a little wryly, looking up at him.

"No... Nothing I learn from you will carry back to our world. Our memory is wiped when we go home."


Shuu goggled at this. "What? Seriously? Just.... gone?"


"As far as I can tell."

Shin sighed, taking another sip of almost-cold tea.

"I'm scared, Shuu. I'm scared that when you need me, I'll fail you all."


"I think, at one point or another, we've all been afraid of that." Shuu looked a little sheepish. "Not for the same reasons, but yeah. I think all of us are scared of letting each other down. You're scared that the fact you're not a violent guy'll make you run when it counts. I'm scared that I like to fight so much I'll end up getting possessed by my armour and betray you guys... or worse."


Shin stared down into his mug, then looked up.

"Never, Shuu. That would never happen. You've got the strongest heart..."


"Which is why I still believe in you. You always come through in the end, even if you have to take the long way around."


Shin blushed and looked down.

"Will you tell me what happened...?"


He nodded, trying not to pay too much attention to the fact that Shin blushed really easily.

"Long story short, this guy from Africa somehow had another armour which is like the kikoutei Ryo gets when we join up. Turned out that if the two armours ever collide, the whole world could be destroyed. You... you were how you are now, and I think you saw something we didn't and backed down before we could combine our strengths. Seiji and Ryo got kidnapped, you got into a fight with Touma and me and ran off." He thought back to that time. He'd been pissed. To be honest, he thought Shin had abandoned them. "In the end, you caught up and saved our asses. We had to destroy the armours in the end."


He didn't blush easily. It was only when Shuu complimented him. If his friend (he stressed the word friend would stop doing that he'd be totally fine and even-complexioned.


"Is that why yours is different?" He asked, trying to think about something else. "Kongo, I mean. I almost didn't recognize you."


"Yeah. Don't ask me to explain that one though. Please." He was still trying to work out what the hell had happened there. Half the time it had felt like a waking-dream. Not quite all real. Shuu wasn't stupid, he just didn't handle that sort of thing well.


Shin had so many questions about what had happened to them. But he forced them down, seeing Shuu's discomfort.

"Alright, love. It's fine."


"Thanks." He was visibly grateful, as he sagged with relief. "Look, I promise you get through this. Er... you probably won't remember, but could you try to pull your punches?"


Shin gave a quiet, musical laugh as he rose and went over to the other boy. He left his mug on the table so he could stand on tiptoe and give him a hug.

"As if I could hurt you."


"You'd be surprised, man." Almost shyly, Shuu returned it, along with a pat on the back.


Shuu wasn't usually shy about hugs -- which was good, as Shin stole them from all of his teammates quite frequently. He rested against the other boy's much broader shoulders for a moment, letting himself be soothed by the scent, before he pulled back.

"I can't imagine getting through this," he admitted. The darkness was still there, gnawing at his stomach. A talk wouldn't chase it away.


Shuu was just a little pink in the cheeks when Shin let the hug linger. It was nice and there was just something comforting about the way Shin cared about everyone.

"You will." They always got through everything, after all.


Shin nodded, daring a glance at Shuu. Was he blushing? That only made Shin blush and look away.

"Thank you. It helps, knowing... that it works out." What he actually meant was, "it helps having someone believe in me."


Shuu laughed at this. It felt good to laugh. "I apologize in advance for my past me being a total git about it."


Shin laughed, too, because you couldn't not laugh when Shuu laughed.

"I forgive you in advance since you're a total git about a lot of things."

"Oh fine, see if I help you cook dinner tonight~" Shuu teased, ruffling Shin's hair.


Shin ducked away from the touch, smacking at Shuu's hand with a laugh.

"You'd better, you lout, or I'll just cook enough for me."


Shuu made a mockery of straightening to attention. "Yes dear. Anything you say dear."


Shin grinned and reached up to pat his cheek.

"That's a good boy."


Shaking his head, Shuu decided not to muse on how wrapped around Shin's finger he was.

"Want me to wag my tail?"


"Please don't. The entire situation would just degenerate and I don't think I could handle interpreting 'throw me a bone' that literally."

Funny that he thought so, because Shin would go to hell and back for Shuu's sake. All he had to do was ask. And he didn't want to think about that.

"When I was in that place... they gave me what I wanted. They cut me off from Suiko, entirely. It -- it was horrible."


Shuu's brow creased as Shin related what happened.

"You want to talk about it?"


No. No, he didn't, he'd felt so empty. Like part of his soul was missing -- not just part, some vague, unknown measurement. Four fifths. It felt exactly like four fifths of his heart and soul had been ripped away.

"It was like a wall, made from those glass bricks -- I knew Suiko was there, just beyond, but I couldn't get through. It was just glass, thin and fragile and I couldn't break it." Wasn't that what he had wanted, though? The City had a twisted sense of humor. Not like that, he'd never wanted that. "I've never felt so alone in my life. Even in New York..."


Forget it. Well, Shuu wasn't one to easily forget things. Shuu had been through this too at one point. But at the time he could choose to fight with the chance of the armour taking over or watching his friends be killed one by one. He'd made his choice and hung onto those reasons.The faces of his friends, his family.

"Be careful what you wish for, huh..." His lips curled into a frown. "This place has no right messing with you like that."


Shin reached up and touched the corner of his mouth to sooth away the frown. A frown on Shuu was wrong.

"Yeah, it didn't. But it did and there's no good brooding on it, right? What's done is done."


It didn't go away.

"I'm not gonna brood on you, but it's hurt you. ...I hate people that do this to others. Mix them up inside so everything they see is wrong..."


Shuu was so good. Shin knew he couldn't stand to see anyone hurt, and he felt bad that his best friend had to see this. He leaned up and hugged him again.

"Hey. Let's just forget it, okay?"


Yeah right. Like Shuu would forget this. Shuu didn't forget the wrongs done to those he loved.

"You can. I'm not letting them get away with this though."


Shin sighed and bit his lip.

"We're only here until we go home, and... it's hard enough without us making it harder."


"So we just don't do anything?"

That didn't sit well with Shuu. He wasn't someone who could sit by while others suffered.


Shin sighed, looking down.

"I don't know."


Shuu could understand that.

"Neither do I. We'll figure it out though!"


"Yeah." Looking confident for the first time, Shin smiled up at him. "We will."