log ; closed ; COMPLETE

[floralities.livejournal.com]

When; Saturday, December 5th, early morning
Rating; PG
Characters; boobsorgtfo and notflynn
Summary; It's always the Morning Afters. In his first conscious moments after a very busy week, Yuri finds that climbing out of the hole you dug is a lot easier when there's someone there to take your hand.
Log;


Ino was exhausted. The past week had been eventful, busy, intense, draining, and while she'd technically been on worse missions before, this was personal. This was... Yuri, and she cared about him too much to let him run around killing people, whether he was aware of it or not. And consequently destroy every relationship he ever had here.

After Flynn brought Yuri back to his room in the house, Ino had intended to check up on him periodically through the night--to monitor the effects of her healing, to change his bandages, to check for infection or fever. But somewhere in that plan, she ended up in the chair next to his bed, watching him sleep, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest and wondering where everything went wrong and when he turned into a stranger and whether she would ever be able to shake that stranger out of her mind.

It wasn't until Repede curled himself around her feet sometime in the middle of the night that she realized she'd fallen asleep. But rather than stir, she simply turned over and dreamed.

.

A while later, Yuri shifted. He remembered nothing- there was only a dull awareness that he'd done something awful, but it only worsened his headache when he tried to reach for the memories. He remained still until the headache subsided, only to return with the rush of memories. His friends, strangers, blood - it was hard to believe, at first. It felt like some terrible dream, but the aches in his body told him otherwise. His actions were real, and he had to take responsibility for them.

With some difficulty, he sat up, slumped over with fatigue, and sighed. It was only a moment later, when Repede whined and nudged him with his nose, that he noticed his company. Hah- he didn't deserve this sort of care.

"Hey, Repede," he whispered and smiled before brushing back Ino's bangs. "Ino."

.

The past week hadn't happened. Yuri was being himself, laughing at her very serious soap operas and digging in the fridge for food as she curled up on the couch and closed her eyes and--

Woke up. But those were his fingertips brushing against her skin, so maybe--maybe it had all just been a dream, after all, and she could press her cheek into his palm and wish she could go back to sleep, because she was still so tired.

But she had to check up on him, didn't she? She had to make sure his wounds were closing properly and that he wasn't reacting negatively to her chakra, because everything with the core did happen. He killed those people and transformed into Tybalt and he hurt her and yesterday... yesterday, Flynn and Leon and the rest of them finally stopped him. She had to make sure that all the traces of that thing was out of him.

"Yuri." Almost jerkily, she pulled away from his hand, still blinking the sleep from her eyes. How was she even supposed to treat him now? Like a patient? "You... should be laying down. I have to check your wound."

.

For a moment he could only look at her, taut with regret. Though the exact words were blurred from his memories, he knew what he had done. He knew how important Tybalt was to Ino and used that against her, using their friendship as a means of tearing her down. 'Sorry' was not nearly enough to convey how he truly felt.

"I'm fine," he muttered, not surprised that she had pulled away so quickly (though he couldn't help that flinch of guilt- he'd really, really messed up this time). "Thanks."

He wanted to say so much more, but couldn't quite piece the words together. The thoughts and the feelings couldn't match up properly, and all he was left with was a remorseful stare. Repede headbutted him, a silent reprimand that he wasn't allowed to brood. But, really, as someone who murdered innocent people for a completely stupid cause- he didn't deserve anything less than to be reminded of his crimes. To forget was to forgive, and that just wasn't possible.

.

"Still," she said, hating how her voice sounded so small. This wasn't right. Nothing was right, and she didn't even know how to fix it. No--she didn't have to fix it. The situation was done, over, and everything was out of her hands, even her emotions. Pain, anger, grief, desperation, numbness--maybe she hated that the most.

With a shake of her head, she unfurled herself from her spot in the chair and stood in front of him. This was the only thing still had left to do, and she'd do it right. Professionally, even though it hurt somewhere under her breastbone.

"I need to make sure all my healing went right." She resisted the urge to say please, to touch him, and instead put more firmness in her tone. "Just lay back down."

.

Knowing that he'd caused her enough problems already, he silently obeyed, laying back down with his arms folded behind his head. His expression was mostly solemn, tense, and lightened only a little as he bumped noses with Repede.

No, he wasn't going to admit that his body ached like hell, that he was damn tired and hungry, that he'd never felt as lost as he did without her charming smile and bright eyes. It was something he'd become so used to the past eight months, and the absence of it only hit him harder.

For now, he could only watch as she hovered over him.

.

With an almost scary kind of detachment, Ino started to go through the motions of an examination, falling back on her hours and hours of medical training to keep her fingers steady, to not let her pounding heart show in her breathing. She slid the covers down, parting the folds of his shirt to check his stomach visually--there was a fresh scar there, long and straight down the center of his abdomen, crossing the smaller scar she'd found... before.

In a moment of hesitation, she looked up at his face, as if expecting to find the wild eyes, the crazy grin, the unfamiliar features of the man from just a day ago. Less than a day ago.

But it was just Yuri, an exhausted, confused Yuri, and she turned back to her work, pressing her hands against his skin, gently reaching out with her chakra, feeling for everything under the surface.

"It's healing pretty well," she pronounced, yanking her hands from his skin as if it was on fire. It almost felt like it. "You shouldn't do anything..." Crazy--but she caught herself. "Strenuous for the next few days, and don't you dare pick up a sword for at least a week." God, it was so easy to slip into old habits--she turned away, scratching Repede behind the ears as she went. "Are you thirsty?"

.

He sat up again, lifting a leg to prop his elbow on his knee. Her touch was familiar yet strange- distant. Of course, there was no way he could blame her or her reactions. He himself wasn't totally aware of how he'd come to that sort of state, though he was positive it wasn't a curse. Lurking in his memory was the image of a jewel- but he knew nothing past that. What was the significance of that jewel? It could have possessed him, could have brought out innate qualities, and that was the most frightening thought.

"Not gonna lie, I kind of am." A hand pressed against his scar. Damn, he was starting to collect them or something. His voice dropped. "You're a good healer, Ino."

Saying her name- it was like uttering something forbidden, like he hadn't earned the right yet.

"I don't think I'll be picking it up for a while," he mumbled, an afterthought to himself.

.

It was probably a good thing that her back was facing him; Ino had never really learned to curb her emotions, and her composure was slipping with the effort of holding everything together. The more she looked and saw him whole and normal like this, the more she wanted to shout and cry and scream and run away and punch him in the face and all the things she couldn't do while they were chasing him down.

Instead, she nodded and grabbed the water skein lying on the table--her water skein, from her ninja kit. In her experience, patients were always dying of thirst after a full healing and a long night or rest. He was probably starving too, and had a horrible taste in his mouth.

She ignored the compliment and the muttered comment.

"Here," she said quietly, passing it to him from the furthest possible distance she could put between them.

.

He took it and immediately drained it, not caring that water had spilled down his neck- he'd never been so thirsty in his life, and this bit of water definitely gave him the hydration his body needed. It really wasn't like he had the time for basic human needs while he was running around like the very type of people he despised. Of course not, he'd been too much of a monster for all of that.

Finishing with a refreshed sigh, he let his eyes close, head still tilted toward the ceiling. Even his mind refused to let him rest, it pulsed with blurred by still very disturbing memories. There were times when he could imagine clear images of his victims' faces. He imagined two refined and kind-hearted women, an equally refined young man coming to another girl's rescue.

All that talk, all those speeches- and here he was in a cozy bed.

"Ino."

.

Just like that, the cloud of apathy, of numbness cracked. Her job done, there was nothing for her to fall back on, to hold onto to keep her anchored against that look on his face, and she stumbled. Anger welled up inside her, anger and a million other little things, but if she had a choice between hitting him or breaking down into tears, she would always go with anger first.

He just... couldn't do this to her. He couldn't do this to her.

"What, Yuri?" she demanded, her tone sharp enough that even Repede lifted his head, his ears twitching foward. She felt her hands balling into fists at her sides, but she stayed firmly planted in her spot, just over an arm's length away from him.

But somehow, the distance seemed even greater.

.

He fisted the bedsheets, having never felt so hopeless in his life. For once, it wasn't some obvious antagonist causing the pain and the suffering- it had all been his own doing. And he couldn't think of a single way to atone for it. To say that everything would be all right, that he was all better now and nothing like this would ever happen again- it was just an insult to her an everyone else. Things weren't going to be all right.

"Ino," he repeated as he tried to find something fitting to say. "Look at me... please."

It wasn't something he did often, but now was probably a good time to start. The word felt awkward on his tongue, perhaps almost a little desperate, perhaps full of regret. Repede stared at him because he knew, too.

He never really could hide anything from Repede, just as he never really could hide anything from Ino.

.

How--how could he--

All those innocent people, all his friends, all the people who cared about him, herself--he hurt them all, and now he was asking something else of her? As if he hadn't taken enough away already? As if he was going to say sorry and that was it? As if looking into his eyes and seeing the familiar dark gray would make everything better? As if--

And a small voice in the back of her head reminded her that it wasn't completely his fault, that it was a curse, then a core, that he was trying to make things right, but she ignored it. The anger overwhelmed her, took her over until she was lifting her head and stepping forward, towards him. His face stayed clear in her vision long enough for her to lift a hand and slap him across the face, hard, with a crack that echoed in the stark silence of the room.

Then everything blurred--from rage or tears, Ino wasn't sure, but her eyes stung worse than her palm and nothing felt very satisfying at all.

.

All right, so that was both expected and painful as hell. His head snapped to the side from the force, eyes wide open because, okay, maybe he hadn't really expected to be slapped right at that moment. But he was fully aware that he deserved nothing less, deserved so much more. This was only the beginning, after all. And he gave a tired, thoughtful smile, hand moving up to touch his cheek. He could only imagine what Flynn had in store for him.

"You looked at me," a pause as he glanced toward her, "that's good."

It was a start, a sign that they were not without repair.

.

So those were tears. She felt one roll down her face as she looked at him, at the nice red mark she'd left on his cheek.

"You--you killed those people, Yuri," she said--pleaded almost, because her anger was starting to dissolve and she faltered, fell back on a weird kind of desperation for him to see. Didn't he see the hell he put them through? All of them, not just her? "We were going crazy trying to stop you, you know, and then--me... and Leon--"

She couldn't stop herself from crying now, full force, and she furiously wiped at her tears. All she wanted--the strange thing was, all she wanted was for him to be sorry, not just say he was, so that he could go back to being everything he was to her before. So at least she felt like she knew him again.

.

"I know," he sighed, frowning. The begging and the screaming still haunted him - he'd really given absolutely no mercy, huh? What a disgusting thought. "I remember that much, and there's nothing I can do to change what happened. Attacking those people, giving those ridiculous speeches, murdering- the hell was I thinking?"

Seeing and hearing her cry was the worst. They'd had their moments together, talking about Tybalt and Estelle and things that weren't always laughter and good times. This was entirely different, just another situation he really didn't know how to handle. Damn it, if he couldn't hold her, tell her everything was going to be okay, make her feel better- he wanted someone else to at least be there for her.

"Where there's a crime, there's punishment, and the ultimate punishment for murder is death." Here, he chuckled mirthlessly. "But that doesn't do anyone any good in this place. You, Leon- all those people- no amount of apologizing can atone for what I've done."

.

Hearing him talk--she couldn't even be mad at him anymore, and instead, a hollow, tired feeling settled over her, over the way her head hurt from crying and her palm still stung and her eyes felt raw and she probably looked like a ghost. A part of her wanted nothing more than to collapse into him and let him hold her and tell her everything was fine and then... then she could close her eyes and pretend nothing happened.

But she was never really the type to run away from her problems, was she?

"Just..." she began, then paused, looking down at her feet. That small voice had been right before, about the curse and the core thing. And with her anger gone, it seemed stupid to blame him for it all. Stupid and pointless, because it was just a silly curse and she could handle those. She just couldn't handle... losing him like that. For real.

"Just tell me you won't ever turn into that."

.

Of course he would never want to turn into that monster again if he could help it- the problem was, well, how did he turn into that sort of thing anyway? And then there was the City. It could easily curse him again, and there's no guarantee that it wouldn't. It certainly turned him into a girl on several occasions.

Curses aside, there was that jewel. Holding, possessing it- he never wanted to part from the jewel if he could help it. That was really all he knew. Could he really promise anything? It was all out of his hands.

"I promise," he said anyway, always the little liar. But he bit his lip, knowing that he was in absolutely no position to be lying to her. "To be honest, I can't even tell you how I got to be like that in the first place."

.

"You're such a liar," she said, though there wasn't any malice behind it at all. She even rolled her eyes and smiled a little as she lifted her hands to repair the damage to her face, wiping the moisture from under her eyes and tucking her bangs behind her ear.

In a way, it was kind of sweet of him to promise, even if it was totally misguided. As if she wouldn't be able to tell.

But she sobered again, quickly, resisting the urge to sit down beside him, or to reach out and run her fingertips down the side of his face. It was weird now, being so close to him without touching, but she didn't allow herself the comfort just yet. Maybe... maybe she was waiting for him.

"Just... don't," she said finally, quietly, before tilting her head to the side, as if in reproach. "And if you do, I'll do a lot worse than slap you."

.

With as much strength as he could muster, he reached forward, pulling her into his arms and holding her tight, tight, tight. He rested his head on her shoulder, eventually loosening his hold and simply resting on her. Man, now this was just pathetic.

"Thanks."

His eyes closed, his breathing a little more labored than normal. She was warm, and he was so sleepy- but he couldn't sleep. He had to get out of this house and somewhere where he could think. Somewhere where he wasn't in a house full of people whose trust he totally just shattered.

.

Relief flooded through her, an unburdening, a balance that Ino hadn't felt since Sunday. As she fell into him, as he wrapped his arms around her, she felt a little lighter, comforted, as if everything was already on its way to normalcy, and that it would get there. Eventually.

But it was much, much better than the nothing they'd been relying on before.

With a sigh, she wound her arms around his waist, holding him as tightly as he was holding her. As her head found the spot in the crook of his neck, right over his collarbone, she closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. It was a little off, probably from all the running around he'd been doing, but still his. Everything would be alright. She just...

"I missed you," she murmured into his shirt, then turned her head towards him, her nose brushing against the underside of his jaw.

.

"I'm sorry." His hands combed through her hair, glided down her back. He was so damn lucky to have someone like her, to have this second chance he so awkwardly needed. "I can't tell you enough how sorry I am for doing that to you."

Being close to her like this, it reminded him of the vague memory where he trapped her against that tree, said words like poison. Tch, he remembered using Tybalt's image, insulting even a guy who wasn't in the City.

"But I need to leave here," he whispered. "I have to leave as soon as possible."

.

"You'll be sorry for a while," she teased softly, lifting her head so that she could look up at him, though her arms stayed around his waist. A small smile lifted the corners of her lips. "You'll be making it up for a while too."

Even though her tone was lighter than it had been before, she still meant what she said. He was going to have to explain a lot to her later--about time in the Lower Quarter, about the people she knew he'd killed in his world, where that idea of justice had come from--all of it. Because as much as she hated to admit it, and as important as he was to her, she didn't really know that much about him.

And maybe she would return the favor too.

"Leave?" she echoed, mouth forming a small 'o' of surprise. "But you're still--" Weak. "You should be resting. A lot."

.

He grinned, though it was much weaker than usual. The sincerity and the teasing were clear, her words understandable. Though, of course, he didn't think she meant he'd have to give his entire life story- he assumed she meant more slaps and punches and apologies. "I think I can handle it."

Sitting up shakily, he slowly took off his blood-stained top, unable to stand the stench of it any longer. Like the responsible adult he was, he tossed it in the corner designated for dirty laundry and moved to slip out of bed.

"Trust me, if I could, I'd sleep for the next five days, but-" he frowned, "-I owe it to them to leave for a bit."

.

Ino stayed seated on the bed as he changed, pulling her knees up under her chin, absently smoothing down the rumpled covers with a hand. And watching him too, both to make sure he didn't do anything to aggravate his wounds and because she could.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked, worrying her lower lip between her teeth--and then, noticing Repede standing silent guard by the door, she patted the spot next to her on the bed, an invitation. "What are you doing all the way over there, Repede? Probably rolling his eyes at us," she added gloomily, waiting until he'd padded over to scratch him behind the ears.

She paused for a moment, still rubbing Repede's ears as she thought. If Yuri was thinking about ditching them, then she was seriously going to--

"This isn't your idea of running away, is it?"

.

Using Ichigo resolve utter determination, Yuri dragged himself to the closet in the corner, leaning heavily on the doorway as he reached for a clean, plain shirt. He pulled it on as quickly as possible before he collapsed. Damn- why was this so damn difficult? Sure he was just possessed by a powerful summon spirit that was totally sucking on his sanity and energy and he hadn't slept or eaten in five days, but did he really have to be this exhausted?

"I'm sure. Heh, you can see it as running away if you want- but I know I should give them space." He stumbled toward the window, peering outside and gauging the height. "Especially Leon. I know... that he won't want to see me for a while."

Opening the window, a chilled ocean breeze ghosted across his skin, contrasting so sharply with the stuffiness inside and-

-he instantly threw up.

.

She briefly considered getting up to help him, but then she figured that, well, he kind of deserved every bit of this misery right now. Besides, the activity, as long as it wasn't too extreme, would be good for him, to stretch out tired muscles and keep his blood flowing.

So she kept her attentions on Repede, smiling a little as he whined in appreciation under her hands. Maybe Yuri had the right idea; the entire household had come out to help take him down. They'd all been worried sick, and Ino could very safely say that none of them had gotten much sleep or food in the past few days. Yuri would have to make it up to them big time.

"I guess you're right," she said quietly. "Leon was really..." She paused, thinking back to Leon's face when she'd showed up in Xanadu to heal him. "Upset."

Then she was greeted with the familiar sound of someone vomiting, and looked up to find Yuri hanging out the window. Instantly, her medic's instincts taking over, she sprung to her feet and hurried to his side to check on him--but, well, it wasn't very surprising after everything he'd been through.

"That's gross," she informed him, glancing down the side of the house and then up at him, lifting her hands to hold his hair back.

.

Once the puking started, it was extremely difficult to stop, despite the dry-heaves and terrible taste on his tongue of phlegm and acid. Thankfully he didn't have to worry about his hair- that would have been another really nasty mess to clean up. When the gagging subsided to heavy breathing, he finally sat up, leaning against the window sill and giving her a thankful look. Okay, now he could add 'feeling really damn sick' to the list of why his day was already turning out splendidly. Looks like even his body was punishing him for his actions. Fabulous.

"Yeah... I took advantage of something he trusted me with," he responded, ignoring the fact that he just barfed over the side of the building. "I just hope he's okay."

He reached out and touched her cheek. "Thanks for sticking with me."

.

Well... that explained a little, but Ino kept it to herself. She could prettily easily guess that what Yuri had done to Leon wasn't much different than what he'd done to her, but something as sensitive as that, something that'd obviously shaken him like that--it wasn't her business. So she merely pressed her lips together and waited.

When he straightened and leaned against the windowsill, she let his hair slip from her fingers, sliding her hand down his back and rubbing small, soothing circles at the small of it.

"Mm." She smiled in reply; her next instinct was to lean up and kiss him, but--that probably wasn't the best idea right now. Instead, she leaned up, used a thumb to wipe the sweat from his skin, and kissed his cheek. "You can stay at my place. If Sakura and Shikamaru let you, I mean."

.

Her touch was always so warm and comforting, and he leaned into it subconsciously. She was always there for him, wasn't she? Even without asking. Hah- she was just too good to be true.

"All right. I owe them an apology, too." A heavy sigh. Repede trotted over to investigate, nudging his nose against arms and cheeks. He barked as if declaring that he was coming along, too. Naturally. "Any way you can get us out this window?"

Dropping down from the third floor wasn't going to be easy in his current state, after all. But going through the front door would be too obvious. Yuri was too cool for such an obvious escape.

.

Her hand lingered on his cheek, for just a moment. It was weird, seeing his face like this, pale and tired, with dark circles under his eyes and even worse than all that, an expression of resignation and guilt. But she would take this face over the one from the past week any day.

Finally, she let her hand drop, then nodded, lifting herself up to sit on the windowsill, hanging halfway out the window.

"You'll have to let me carry you, princess," she teased, smiling lopsidedly and holding out her hand for Yuri to take. One glance at Repede told her that he would be fine on his own, so she started gathering chakra to her feet and slid out to crouch against the side of the house.

.

Yuri stared in awe for a second. Well, he'd never seen her do that before. He smirked at the new things she always surprised him with and pulled himself up shakily on his feet with a heavy, labored sigh. "Well, that's impressive. Sure you can handle carrying me?"

Not that he particularly liked the idea of being carried. At all. He liked to think that he was enough of a man to carry his own weight, depend on his own weight. But if there was one thing he learned from the City- it was that he could depend on other people, on his friends.

"Guess I'll have Flynn get my clothes for me," he muttered, trying to maneuver out the window without falling flat on his face.

.

"Definitely." She could tell that he wasn't really looking forward to being carried--but maybe that was the fun part. Falling back into these old ways felt good now, comfortable, and as she grabbed both his hands, steadying him, she smiled. In all truth, she wouldn't be carrying him so much as sharing the strength of her chakra with him, but she figured that he didn't need to know that.

Instead, she slid an arm around him, spreading her chakra between their feet, distributing the weight enough that she might as well have been walking casually down the side of the house by herself.

"We'll figure it out," she countered quietly, glancing over at him as they descended. They would head to her apartment, get him set up... and then he would start setting things right. And they would figure it out. Together.

"We'll definitely figure it out."