tampered | log; ongoing; closed

log; ongoing; closed

When; December 23rd, early morning
Rating; PG
Characters; Leon Magnus [

roseofseingald ] and Yuri Lowell [

notflynn ]
Summary; The confrontation that was building and needed to happen.
Log; Leon couldn't get his thoughts in order. It'd been like this most of the month, struggling with himself and the things that Stahn had taught him, that Stahn had shown him was possible. He just couldn't forgive people like everyone else. He didn't understand how the rest of the house could go see Yuri, check up on him to make sure he was okay. Because Leon still wasn't sure he even wanted to see Yuri's face. Had it not been for a sense of duty to his revoked knighthood, he would have avoided being present for Yuri's punishment. Would have continued to avoid him and try to figure out what he was going to do. And it hadn't helped that he hadn't been able to hear Chaltier for that month. Chal could have helped him, given him some advice that would make some odd sense to him. But Chal was silent and that was his fault. He was so angry at himself. And angry at Yuri, and angry because he couldn't talk to the person he'd been with the longest because he'd made a stupid trade for a house that seemed too empty without Yuri's loud mouth.

Despite the cold of the sea breeze, Leon had the top of his body suit undone and tied around his waist to get it out of the way because he felt too hot from too much anger and too much training. How long had he been at it that morning already? A few hours? The sun wasn't even up yet, he'd gone out so early. And somehow he couldn't wind down from it. He was agitated, he'd been agitated for too long, trying to distract himself with anything. Everything. Work, training with Emil, taking care of the house, shopping. But the more the thought about what he was doing, the more he was realizing that he was doing what he detested. He was running away from it. Avoiding it because if he confronted Yuri he'd have to deal with it and what happened and he just. Didn't want to. He needed someone to talk to about this, but he just couldn't talk to people who'd forgiven Yuri. Not about this. They couldn't understand. He needed Chal's voice. Or Marian. But thinking of Marian just reminded him of what Yuri had done, and the agitation blossomed a little more, digging at him like a knife in an infected wound.

He shook his head, trying to rid it of too many thoughts that he didn't want to think about, as he lunged at a boulder nearby.

"Don't slow down! Disappear from my sight! Infernal Suffering!" Yeah. He just used a Blast Calibur on a rock. He needed a sparring partner that could hold their own against him, unlike Emil who still needed help with basics. Like Yuri. Which simply brought him back to the entire problem at hand. Which, of course, just made him angry. Again. Had he even stopped being angry?

"Damn it, I'm tired of this!"

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It'd been a day since his punishment, and he used that time to think about things, about the burden he'd put on Flynn, the curse, Emil, Leon, the people he'd hurt- all of it. Not a single aspect of this entire situation had been left out. It all culminated, formed together to create a big mess of a headache that only accompanied the sharp tenseness and pains blanketing all over his back. Pain so rightly deserved (though of course, if it had been any other person- perhaps he would have been more lenient, a little more forgiving, but not for this- the crimes committed with his own two hands).

He remembered most of all the tone in Leon's voice- it was really irreparable, wasn't it? And, all right, he'd admit that he wasn't too happy to lose him as a friend. He'd gotten to know Leon so well during their stay together, and he was really a great guy. Yuri just couldn't believe he'd done that to him, even cursed. It'd taken six months to build that friendship and nearly six days to destroy it. But that was how life went on, and if Leon didn't want to see him- well, that was his choice, and Leon was free to make it. There wasn't anything Yuri could do to change his mind (of course, this doesn't mean he won't at least try by dropping in on his posts- he wasn't going to avoid Leon entirely).

He walked down the beach at the usual hour he and Leon would train- it was habit at that point, one very difficult to break. He'd decided that a walk along the beach would help him think even more. Repede trotted quietly at his side, knowing full well what Yuri was thinking about. It was at the very least a little comforting to have Repede, Flynn, and Ino standing so steadfastly by his side. He couldn't thank them enough for this second chance. Even if it wasn't his fault- their blood still stained his hands.

As he walked on, there was a faint sound of shouting, blasts- they became louder as he neared what he soon deduced was Leon. Odd, because Leon usually trained in Xanadu, or perhaps he changed locations since the last time they fought together. Sword clenched in hand, he walked a little faster.

It was time to resolve this.

He soon found Leon, topless and training with no one at all. Despite his current inability to properly defend himself, he gave a look to Repede, asking him quietly to stand back as he went about his business. Repede obeyed, allowing Yuri to walk on, fire a familiar blue wave toward whatever was left of the rock Leon just destroyed (a bad idea on his part, as it agitated the taut muscles on his back).

Leon visibly tensed at the familiar arte, looking at what damage it had left in the wake of his own damage. It was completely shattered, not unlike the situation between Yuri and Leon. He didn't want to turn around, but if he didn't now, he probably never would. He'd just keep running away and that wasn't like him. He couldn't stand to have that trait be associated with him. And so, slowly, reluctantly he turned to Yuri. Half expecting to see Marian's face, Marian's body covered in blood again. How many times had he relived that moment in his mind?

He frowned, steeling himself as he finally made himself look at Yuri. And it wasn't Marian's face. It wasn't Marian's body. He wasn't covered in blood. This was just Yuri. Yuri, who he'd been living with for six months, who he'd become so used to it was a little irritating. What could he say? What should he say? He couldn't trust Yuri anymore to say something that would show weakness. Because isn't that how they'd ended up like this in the first place? If Yuri hadn't know of Marian, of her importance- could he too have forgiven Yuri so easily? No, that didn't seem quite right. Because he just... didn't comprehend what forgiveness was. Couldn't grasp it despite the fact it came so easily to his friends.

"...What are you doing here?" That didn't sound like the right question, but it was a start.

He could feel the anger welling in him, though. Screaming to break out and tear Yuri apart for his every transgression despite the fact he'd atoned for it with his punishment. He clenched Chal a little tighter, wishing the blade would speak again, just to have Chal buzzing in his mind may have put him a little more at ease. But it was just him and Yuri, and no one else. It made him uncomfortable. He wasn't used to this.

"Walking," he replied truthfully, no hint of skirting around the answer, hiding anything. He owed it to Leon to be truthful. From where he was standing, he could see the scar on Leon's side, a long line that he noticed continued to his back. Yuri imagined it must have hurt so much, especially in the image of one of the most important people to Leon. He could imagine what it must have felt like in recovery, even after the healing process. His own scar from Zaude had still hurt weeks after he assumed it'd been healed. But Yuri'd done a number on him through disgusting methods.

To Yuri, however, the shattering of the rock was a positive thing, something familiar. They'd done it together, obliterated it together, and perhaps it was something of a good sign. But he wasn't stupid- he could also see the anger, expected it.

What was worse to Yuri, however, was the possibility that he could have killed Leon. The scar looked bad enough- what had the wound looked like? It must have been at the very least near-fatal. One wrong move and something could have been ruptured, an instant kill. And Leon had just arrived in the city alive after being dead for so long. Yuri could have taken that away from him.

"I just needed some air to think. Didn't expect to see you here." Really, the City could be too small sometimes. He sighed, took a step forward. "But it's good that you are."

Leon wasn't an idiot. He could feel the eyes on that scar, and it irked him. Made him a little vulnerable, like he should cover it to hide his moment of weakness. Because what kind of idiot would run at an enemy with no weapon? He tried to justify that it was because he'd looked just like Marian, sounded like her, but in the end he'd been too stupid to make a distinction between an illusion and the one that had raised him.

"And why is that?" He didn't bother to hold back the bite in his voice, holding on tightly to Chaltier and his other sword.

He wasn't ready to face this, but he couldn't run away now. This wasn't the network, it wasn't the device. He couldn't simply hang up when he got too fed up with Yuri's bullshit. This was hardly the way he wanted to deal with this, but if not like this, there wasn't any other way. It was bound to happen eventually. But if only he'd had more time to get his thoughts in order, he'd have something to say to Yuri. He'd have had more time to make sure he didn't look so badly affected by what had happened. But here, caught off guard- all he could do was fall back on bitterness and anger.

"You should know better than anyone," he replied, looking up from the scar to meet Leon's gaze head on with determination. He wasn't going to let this chance slip away. There was no way he'll just walk away now, not when it was just the two of them like this. Even if Leon didn't like it- this matter was going to rest one way or the other.

Another step forward- it was still fairly dark outside, the skies only tinted with the vaguest navy blue, the stars dimming to small pinpricks. But he could still see everything perfectly clear. He never really realized until that moment just how small Leon really was.

"You can't hang up on me here. We're going to talk about this." Yeah, he just demanded that they talk, and maybe it wasn't the best choice of words, but he was going to stick with them, stand behind them. As the responsible adult who just hated having lingering regrets, unfinished business- he needed this more than anything. It was the penultimate step to settling this issue. After this- he could truly step forward and right his wrongs.

"Talk about it?" There was a frown on his face as he pointed Chaltier at Yuri, to keep him at bay. "What's there to talk about? Are you going to apologize? Ask for my forgiveness? What the hell do you want, Yuri?"

Leon muscles sang with tension, and he held his ground. He wasn't going to run away from this, not anymore. No matter how much he didn't want to face this, it needed to be settled one way or another. He couldn't just continue to brood in silence about it, trying to escape the problem by failing to fill his mind with other activities. Because it all came back to this.

If he were Stahn, it wouldn't be a problem. That idiot would have already forgiven Yuri, just like he'd so easily forgiven Leon. So why couldn't he do something like that with ease? Hadn't he done something terrible just like Yuri? Stahn had forgiven him, and so it was only proper that he show someone else that sentiment. But he just. He couldn't bring himself to let it go. Was it because it had been Marian? Because his trust had been betrayed? Because the first ~~friend~~ comrade he'd made in this irritating place had shattered what had been too hard to obtain? He wasn't like Stahn, he couldn't smile and forgive someone of anything. It was aggravating. Still-

"Let's hear it, Yuri. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Edited 2009-12-22 10:01 (UTC)

The blade in his face did nothing to intimidate him. He stepped closer- if Leon leaned forward, the tip would graze him, pierce him, but he didn't care. This was a talk needed to be had face to face, not from across a room's length. Being the closest he'd been to Leon in a little less than a month, he saw that tension, stress, frustration. Man, he'd really made a mess of things. The results were still so strong, so painful. It was a relief to hear that he was going to stick around and hear him out.

He gave a tired, wan smile. "Yeah, I'm going to apologize, Leon. Right here to your face- I'm sorry."

It was useless. It wouldn't do anything- nothing he could do would change what he had done. But he had to accept it and move on, try to atone by remembering, by learning from his mistakes. It was all he could do, and he knew it. Above all else- that was what he understood best of all. He'd been punished. It was time to get that sense of closure and decide his next step.

Forgiveness? Hah, Yuri knew that he shouldn't ask for too much. All he wanted was for Leon to hear his apology, and from there the ball was in Leon's court. Yuri had done all he could.

How many times was Yuri going to advance on him when he had a weapon? Stahn had done it too. Were they just idiots, or did they believe that he wouldn't cut them down? He couldn't understand that sort of thinking. It wasn't logical, so why did they do it? It set him on edge.

And of course the apology didn't help, though he hadn't been expecting Yuri to actually say it. But how could such a simple thing make up for what he'd done? It may have been enough for some, but for him he just couldn't be satisfied with such a trivial phrase. A phrase people tossed around too many times to hold any sort of actual meaning.

"Ridiculous. Did you really think that would help?" he scoffed, brows furrowed as his mind raced for what to do, what to say.

If he admitted aloud that Yuri had hurt him, it would be a weakness, and that was unacceptable. Because weaknesses could be taken advantage of, and he didn't want it to happen again. Yuri wouldn't have taken advantage of Marian's importance had he been in his right mind, and he knew that after spending so much time with Yuri, but it didn't matter because it was the City. It did what it wanted to, had even forced Leon to kidnap Estelle. There was no guarantee it wouldn't happen again, to Yuri or to Leon. It had been for that reason that he'd made Yuri promise to kill him if it happened again.

At a loss for what to say, Leon fell back on what he knew and simply attacked Yuri. No artes, simply swords swung with anger that he couldn't shake. The anger at Yuri for what he'd done, the anger at himself for being too weak to stop it, the anger at the entire damn situation. What had he been training for all this time if he couldn't protect a single person?

Did he think it would help? Well, Yuri certainly felt a little better, as selfish as that was. Not saying anything at all would have been much worse in his eyes. Inaction, sitting around, wallowing- yeah, those things were much worse.

He barely had to time to flick his sheath into the sand some distance away, barely had time to jump back and feebly defending Leon's blows, his attacks, anything. It'd been two weeks since he did any sort of strenuous activity, and his body was not only used to it, the muscles on his back screamed in protest. It was all he could do to keep standing- he hadn't quite recovered yet from the core's effects on his bodies. He still wasn't able to run.

But he allowed Leon to do as he pleased for now. He wanted Leon to release whatever anger he had pent up. He knew that if it came to the point of endangering his life (he doubted it would), Repede would come. For now, there would only be this.

"Ngh-" he stumbled a little, managing to catch himself as a knee buckled under all the effort. As ruthless as always- he wouldn't expect any less. Not from Leon, Flynn, Ino- any of them.

This weakness. He should have expected Yuri to still be injured, to still be weak. But for some reason it just upset him more, because he wasn't used to seeing Yuri like this. Where was the casual smirk that infuriated him, the confidence he seemed to constantly exude even against an enemy that was clearly too strong? Leon tossed his swords aside with a snort, fist balling until his knuckles were white. Without a warning, his fist shot out, aimed for Yuri's face.

"How- how could I have possibly fallen to someone like you? After Hugo, you should have been nothing. And yet, I still- damn it! Why did I tell you anything?"

Leon didn't really anticipate saying anything, but the words just seemed to fly from his mouth before he could prevent it. Before he could think about what he was saying, if it was guarded enough. And damn it, he sounded so vulnerable it was pathetic.

If there was anything Yuri wasn't expecting, it was for Leon to abandon his sword and turn to his fists- that had always been Flynn's route to express anger and disapproval, not Leon. The punches connected. Perhaps he was fortunate that Leon, while a great swordsman, did not possess enough body strength (or gauntlets) to cause too much pain.

And while Leon let it out, yelled at him- Yuri listened, received, occasionally blocking where he could. Yuri knew about Hugo, Marian, Chaltier, how much they meant and what they did for Leon.

The last he'd seen Leon so miserable was during that one curse way back, back when Estelle was still in the City, back when they made their promise together. He didn't think he'd ever see Leon like this again- and this time, it was Yuri's fault.

The flow of their little confrontation pushed him back a few steps, and damn this wasn't the best thing to do two days after his flogging. He hoped Flynn never found out- that was a lecture he wouldn't be looking forward to.

Leon's anger was falling flat, because this fight was to entirely one sided. Yuri wasn't even talking. Where the hell was that loud mouth he'd come to expect after six months? This wasn't even a fight, not even an argument. He was just using Yuri as a punching bag, and while it was - admittedly - making him feel better, it didn't sit well with him to just beat on someone that wasn't fighting back. And it really didn't help that the more he looked at Yuri, the more he remembered when he'd turned into Marian and how the features hadn't changed that much. He'd never really noticed how alike they looked and that was probably unsettling him too.

And like any upset teenage boy, he really couldn't keep his feelings in check, and couldn't stop himself from yelling more.

"Why aren't you saying anything? Where's that stupid mouth of yours that never shuts up? It's pissing me off!"

Yuri kept his mouth shut for once, continuing his defense the best he could and meeting him step for step. He kept his own sword at his side as his other blocked weakly incoming punches. He still listened, took every word to heart. A frown- why was Leon staring at him in such a strange way?

No, Yuri didn't realize how much he looked like Marian, and the likelihood that he will ever figure it out is slim to none.

He then halted in his backstepping, holding his ground. His movements were sluggish, his back burning like crazy. But it'll be all right- if he just listened and proved that he wasn't going to go anywhere...

"Leon."

"What!" Leon snapped, holding himself back from another punch. Expecting Yuri to say something else. Needing him to say something else. Something that might make a little sense to his jumbled thoughts. That might satiate the anger and calm his agitation.

"I can't understand how everyone could possibly forgive you like that. Not everyone could be as stupid as Stahn when it comes to forgiving people without a second thought. There's no way people are like that normally. It's too convenient, too naive, too nice- I just can't understand that sort of logic. Why am I the only one that can't get over this? My feelings can't possibly be wrong, so why has everyone else simply forgiven you? Why-!"

"You're not in the wrong, Leon." Yuri shook his head, let down his defenses for the moment. If Leon were to attack him then, it would be a clean shot- he wasn't going to even try. "Whether they forgive me or not shouldn't have any bearing on what should be your decision."

To be honest, Yuri wasn't even sure how everyone forgave him so easily, especially Emil, who gave him apple bunnies as a snack. He was certainly grateful and wasn't going to question their decisions. He could see how it would have rattled Leon, why Leon was so confused, conflicted. ~~He's a Tales hero, after all.~~

"I haven't forgiven myself either so- you're not alone." A little upturn of a smile, because it was probably not a very comforting thing to say at all. But he meant what he meant. "I don't blame you."

Despite that it wasn't really a comforting admission, Leon did feel slightly vindicated in his feelings when Yuri said it. Because it meant he wasn't the only one. And that helped, somehow. He wasn't suddenly ready to forgive Yuri or anything, but maybe he was taking a step in the right direction.

Leon was silent for a few steady moments as he turned and leaned down to pick up his discarded weapons and sheathe them.

"...Don't expect me to forgive you easily."

For some reason, there was a release of pressure, a relief of burden. He knew he hadn't been forgiven, that not everything was fixed... but there was a sense of closure, perhaps. Though they hardly discussed anything, it felt as though something had transpired anyway. The anger still lurked - or at least he could feel it - but any give was better than nothing.

Yuri hunched visibly and popped an apple gel. His crippled condition sapped more of his energy for any sort of activity, and the gel made him feel instantly better. Well enough to make the trip back to Ino's, anyway.

"I don't expect anything from you at this point," he mumbled with a sigh, combing his fingers through his hair in fatigue.

"If you ever change into that type of person again, I'll kill you. You may or may not remember the promise you made me after I kidnapped Estelle, but I'm amending it to include the reverse."

The tension was slowly draining from Leon's form as he went about pulling his shirt back on and situating it until his scar was covered. When all else was mended between them, that would still be a painful reminder of what happened. And of why he needed to be more careful in the future, and of why he couldn't let Yuri do that again.

"So, how long are you going to run away? If you left the house out of respect for our feelings, it was a waste of time. I can't stand to see people run away from problems and I can't stand to be one of those types of people."

"I remember," Yuri said softly in response. He couldn't argue with the new amendment- in fact, it was better that way. If he ever spun out of control like that, hurting everyone like that- it was better off to kill him before anyone else got hurt. Innocent people.

He called to Repede he began making his way toward them. Though Leon's words were always so guarded, disguised, he understood the meaning of them.

Come back.

Of course, he couldn't just yet. He had some things at Ino's, had to let her know before he just disappeared. But he was looking forward to seeing everyone again. It would be awkward, it would take some time- but it would be a nice improvement.

"Right- I won't run away again." He gave Leon a genuine, grateful smile, a tilt of his head as his personal wind machine blew his hair in the wind. "Thanks, Leon."

"Don't say stupid things. There's nothing to thank me for," Leon answered curtly, turning his back to Yuri, readying himself to make the walk back to the house. He still had training with Emil later that morning, after all.

He wouldn't ask when Yuri was coming back, didn't particularly care to know. Yuri would be back eventually if he was serious about not running away. And if he wasn't, well that just posed more issues. Not that Leon cared one way or the other about it. Whether this was mended or not, he didn't care. Not really.

Yuri turned on his feet, intending to walk back to Ino's, feeling as if a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders and his heart. He hadn't been forgiven - he didn't expect it - but this was one step toward mending what had been broken with his own hands. Despite the hard exterior, the coldness, the sharpness- Leon was a good person. Yuri knew that well at this point.

"Whatever you say, Leon," he replied with a brief hand wave, smiling fondly. Yeah, Leon was definitely a unique, interesting person. He didn't know a single person quite like him, not even back in Terca Lumireis. Perhaps the City could lend to some pretty amazing things, all things considered.

Yeah, it was worth it.

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