tampered | A long overdue Reunion. {Complete}

A long overdue Reunion. {Complete}

When; Backdated to the first week of Zack's arrival.
Rating; G
Characters; Zack Fair (

pinionless ) & Cloud Strife (

mirroredecho)
Summary; Two old friends meet up again; to share heart-to-hearts and overall sappy revelations.
Log;

The sunlight was what had roused the drowsing ex-SOLDIER that morning. Sharp and vibrant with the clarity of cloudless skies, the weak yellow light stippled over the shallow creases of his bedspread. Slowly but surely, that demanding light crept up the length of the sleeping form of Zack, the progress slow, like chilled honey being poured from a jar. Eventually however, it settled over his face, the shadows of his eyelashes forming long shadows on his cheeks.

He stirred, frowning a little as the brightness hovered over his eyelids, making the comfortable dark inside of them just a little less, well--dark. There was a nonsense noise, some irritable grunt of protest, before he lost the battle and finally cracked open an eye. The bright blue eye blinked once, bleary with sleep and confusion. His field of vision was murky, blurred by the thin, semi-transparent veil of moisture that coated the eyes of the freshly woken. He tensed, forgetting for a second where he was--half expecting to see the undecorated, sterile steel wall of the dorms facing across from him.

It happened on and off lately--the young ex-SOLDIER was having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that he was in fact dead, sometimes. But once clarity clicked into place, he suddenly sat bolt upright, the tangled and spikey mess of his hair in even worse disarray than before--pointing to the four directions. The overlong bang hung comically over his forehead, bobbing gently with his rushed movements.

"Oh, man. I'm gonna be late." His eyes drifted to the clock. "I am late!" With that, he quickly jumped out of bed entirely, stopping only long enough to haul on his shoes and lace them before throwing open the door to his bedroom and bolting down the hallway with no consideration to his still sleeping roommates. Once he reached the front door, he paused, slowing at last and glancing over his shoulder uncertainly. He briefly considered writing a note and leaving it on the table--but thought better of it. And so, with a quick shake of his head, he deftly twisted the knob and made his way out of the apartment and towards the square

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After four different sets of directions, all slightly different, and all leading him to slightly different places, he had finally reached his destination, along with a mental note that apparently Lavi did actually know what he was talking about. The square appeared bigger than it had just a couple of nights previously. Maybe it was the strands of sunlight filtering in between the buildings, offering the small specks of golden light that made the expanse seem more spacious, cleaner some how than it had by the dark of night.

Bright blue eyes searched his surroundings, almost hoping that the other man had somehow beaten him there. But old habits died hard. Current ones died even harder, and so it seemed while the ability to always be prompt and on time, even early worked for him in his new profession, it didn't always lend the same advantage to his every day life. There was no black head of spikes, now dark blue eyes staring at him with all of the excitement of a bouncing and wiggling puppy. The kind of excitement that only Zack could ever manage to contain.

There was nothing left to do but wait, which for all of his years of doing so, his over riding impatience still seemed to be at the fore front of his emotions. Maybe it was simply the fact that it had been three years since he had seen Zack, more, in fact, since he had actually been able to have a conversation with the other. What did all of those missed years accumulate to? Seven years? Eight? The time seemed endless when it was put into an defined amount of time instead of broken down into the moments and memories that resided in his own mind.

For all of the man's unforgivable tardiness, there was a constant in him that the passage of time had failed to wear away. That being the simple fact that, when properly motivated, Zack Fair could move. The fortunate thing about where he had temporarily taken up residence was that it bored the Square itself. So by the time his boots had descended the last step in the steep descent of the communal stairwell, all he had to do was shoulder open the door to the apartment complex and move forward.

His steps announced his presence long before he ever came into view. It was a sound that should resonate with Cloud's memory--the clatter of footsteps that sounded more like he was on the verge of tripping all over himself than actually making any progress towards his destination. The steady sound of his running feet rang and echoed sharply off the surrounding buildings, amplified to an even rhythm. By the time he stopped, the ex-SOLDIER was slightly winded, and he bent double at the waist, resting his hands on his knees with his head cast down as he took in a few steady lungfuls of air.

When he glanced up again, his eyes came to rest on a familiar nest of blonde hair. Of course, the man's back was, typically, turned to him. As he straightened, he repressed a grin. He knew that posture well--Cloud was getting frustrated--and he had a feeling he knew what prompted it. A sheepish look flashed across his face before he started forward, his steps now taking on a more leisurely sort of trot.

Without ceremony, or a simple greeting to warn the man first, he snuck up behind him, quickly grabbing him in a headlock and vigorously knuckling his head.

"What's the first rule of SOLDIER, eh? Never let your guard down." There was laughter in his voice as he let him go, finally spinning around to face him fully. The young man was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Lose something?" he added in a teasing drawl.

The sound of impending footsteps had reached his ears long before the other has actually reached him. The stance - back to his approach, arms crossed over his chest - was more of an act than any sort of show of frustration. It seemed that his memory of the others perpetual tardiness had been lost some where in the time that they had spent apart. The vibrating happiness, however, hadn't been lost into the canals of time.

At least from what he had felt when he had been pulled against the other, a knuckle burying into the protective spikes of his hair, digging into his scalp. A gloved hand came up, reaching the other's bare arm as it moved, smacking the skin sharply. The other may have been older, taller, but Cloud was no longer the sixteen year old he had once been. Which meant that Zack was going to be receiving pay back for that little move. In the form of that same gloved hand reaching out and up, promptly meeting spiky, mused black hair, messing it up even more throughly before once more returning to his chest, crossing the other.

"Just a wiggling, over excited puppy. No biggie."

The slight slap to the wrist in reproach caught Zack by surprise, and he blinked. The sting was minimal, and though he stared first down at his wrist, and then at the other man with a growing incredulous look, his shoulders were already shaking with laughter. "That really hurt!" he exclaimed, eyes widening in feigned shock. "You're stronger than I remember." The words had hardly left his mouth before he was fully repaid in kind, eyes widening still further as he squirmed in protest, trying in vain to duck away from the persistent revenge of Cloud's hand.

After a second, he shook it off mentally, giving only a slightly dismayed grimace as the limp strands of his hair took on an even more hopeless directional sprawl. At the remark, he scoffed quietly in the back of his throat.

"Haven't heard that one before," he grumbled. The grin on his face was all too telling however, and it only spread. But he lapsed into silence, suddenly so full of things he could and should say that they refused to be spoken at all. And so he settled with the first thing that came to mind, however lame.

"How's it going?"

Cloud knew that the slap had been far from painful for the other man, considering he had barely felt the touch through the thickness of the leather gloves he wore. When his hand finally fell away from the other's hair, a pleased smirk became present on his face, dancing in his eyes as he took a moment to survey his handy work. He nay have been a few inches shorter than the man that stood before him, but it was still easy to enact his revenge.

Besides, it wasn't as if the other's hair hadn't resembled a rats nest before he had gotten his fingers entangled in it.

The question was weak, a less than perfect way to start the catching up that stood in front of them, but greetings had never been Zack's strong suit. Unless a strangling hug that left you grasping for breath counted. The smirk faded from Cloud's face slightly as the words processed, his mind searching for an answer. But the only ones that worked their way to the forefront were equally weak, imperfect ways to sum up just how things were going in his life. Could three years really be summed up in a few simple words?

"It's nice to see you again too."

It was true that Zack might have been over-exaggerating, but that in itself was hardly anything new. He was given to shameless hyperbole from time to time. But his penchant for teasing Cloud was clearly another thing that hadn't changed, and so the trace of humor in the remark couldn't be helped. Though if he could hear the blonde's thoughts about his hair, he'd probably have been more likely to huff in affront at him. His hair was a source of pride, however untidy it looked.

There was really no suave way to ease into the conversation. Time had passed for Cloud, whereas he himself hadn't really had any concept of the passage of time. Not in the same sense that Cloud had, at least. He paused, lifting his own gloved hands meekly, lips parting. You look older, he wanted to say. Different. Unhappy. But it would have been rude to blurt out a hasty "What's happened to you?"

Whatever changes he'd gone through, he was still Cloud, and still the man's best friend. And that meant that he'd be there for him, unconditionally. His eyes softened at his words though, and this time when he stepped forward, it was to pull him into an actual, solid hug.

"You too," he said quietly. "Did you want to go somewhere?" It'd be better not to have this conversation out in the open.

The hug had been both expected and not all at once. The arms that came around him were familiar in a way little else ever could be. Zack had always been strong, solid and comforting and he was no different now. Only this time, when Cloud's arms lifted to return the hug, they were strong, solid and warmer than they had been in the past. It was odd, to him at least. Zack had always been the warm, caring one. Maybe it was on attribute of the other's personality that he had kept.

The question hit him once more, roaming around his brain, trying to find a place that could process it properly. Where was there for them to go? It wasn't as if he knew the place that was going to be their new home well. He had only been there a day or two longer than Zack, really, and had little time to go exploring.

There was a coffee shop a couple of stores down from where they stood. They could always go there. It would at least be warmer than standing out in the frigid cold, freezing and possibly catching their deaths of colds for which they would be scolded into submission for. Did Zack even like coffee? It was worth a shot to0 at least bring it to light.

"We could go get coffee."

In a way, however much Cloud had matured and grown as an individual, to Zack, he would always be the same tenderfoot recruit, towheaded and wide-eyed. Maybe that's why he was able to embrace him with such ease. Pushing against the nagging and troubling thoughts at the back of his head, or the fact that he wasn't quite able to put his finger on exactly what had changed and when, he remained pressed against Cloud for several long heartbeats. Quietly and firmly, though the warmth on his end was strictly metaphorical--Cloud was the only one who radiated any actual body warmth.

He disentangled himself from Cloud with a lopsided grin, raising an eyebrow at the suggestion. Both of them were fumbling in the dark--it wasn't quite how he'd imagined their reunion in his head, but it couldn't be helped.

"Coffee sounds good," he said after a second of thoughtful consideration. "Let's go!" He only barely refrained from an enthused fist pump at the words.

For a moment, and only for a moment, he found himself not wanting to let go of the other, although the emotion would forever go unspoken. The other felt so cold against him, and while he should have been expecting it - he should have thought of it before now, of the possibility that Zack came from sometime after that all important turning point, that the city had somehow plucked him out of the Lifestream and brought him here. - but the absolute knowledge of it hurt, the pain like a burning from somewhere deep inside of his heart. Even here, Zack's life could never be reclaimed.

Forcing himself to let go was easier said than done, but once he had, his normal demeanor was instantly regained, seemingly forgetting the momentary lapse in it's cover. It hadn't been this way with Aerith, but Tifa had been there, gently directing him. He had no direction now, just himself and all of the things that were welling up inside of him. Words, thoughts, emotions, feelings and memories that he knew he could never fully formulate.

"Are you always this excited for coffee?" He asked the questions as he started off in the direction of the shop, trusting the other to follow behind him.

Zack, given the choice, wouldn't have let go quite so early as he had. The gesture seemed unfinished somehow, but there would be time enough to catch the other man off guard with plenty more when he least expected it. For the moment, he wanted to keep things comfortable between them. It would be easier for him to put up a front of normalcy for now--or as normal as things could be for either of them, given the circumstances.

Any other person would have missed that brief flash of pain. And in response, his shoulders slumped and then stiffened a bit. It had come as a shock for him too, at first. How others felt so unnaturally warm--almost hot in comparison. He could only mimic the routines that came so easily to those who still had a pulse--and it wasn't an easy thing. It would take some time for the both of them to adjust to that fact.

The question brought a lazy, bright smile to his lips, though he could sense everything Cloud wasn't saying. In that respect, they weren't so different. "For coffee? Naaah. But who could resist spending time with you, huh?" And follow he did, on his heels not unlike the puppy of his nickname.

The words caused a small sigh to rise up in his throat, but he quickly fought against it, pushing it down and away. He didn't want to spend their time together being irritated. He wanted to spend it catching up, gathering as much missed information about the other as he could possibly fit into those short minutes and hours. Gather them all into a short span of time and form into a memory that would replace the ones he no longer had.

He did, however, roll his eyes at the other, although it held more of an air of playfulness than tit normally would. Has Zack always been this charming? Always this filled with kind words to lift him up and place him where the other wanted him?

"Guess that means I won't have to buy you breakfast."

The slight noise went by unnoticed by Zack--although doubtless he would have let it go with nothing more than a raised eyebrow and a shrug before he carried on with his jovial banter. That was just his way--weighty things generally rolled off his back unless there was a reason for him to be serious. He let out a burst of laughter in response at the typical eyeroll that greeted him, however.

Whatever momentary uncertainty he'd felt evaporated for the moment with that simple, very characteristic gesture. He had in fact always been this charming--but it was something that very few people outside of Aerith had ever seen or been exposed to for prolonged periods of time.

He paused at that, half-stopping with wide eyes and his mouth parting in a comical picture of disbelief.

"Ahaha...a-about that," he started, picking up his pace slightly.

Cloud was surprised at the other's stumbled words, so much so that he stopped for a moment, his attention turning away from his destination and instead to his companion. Zack wasn't one to stumble over his words, no matter how big or small, how much or how little they might mean. His arms raised quickly, crossing over his chest as he waited.

"What? Lost your appetite on the way here?"

Zack went quiet the moment Cloud turned, his face suddenly taking on a solemn look. It was startling, really, how much older he looked in that instant. A little more careworn and tired. Not that he'd ever voice these things--the last thing he ever wanted to be was a burden. Cloud, posed that way, was not unlike looking into a mirror, even if the reflection was a bit rusted and warped over the years.

He decided against telling him that he didn't necessarily have the drive or impulse, much less the need, to eat any longer. He still enjoyed it of course, but it was an empty, mechanical gesture.

"No," he said, voice bright and steady once again. "Just never figured you to be such a cheapskate. But come on. I'll buy you your breakfast." Once he'd declared this, he wasted on time in strolling past him with a firm clap on the back.

Except Cloud wasn't moving, instead choosing to stay glued to the spot just as he had been when Zack had moved past him. Arms stayed crossed over his chest, bright blue eyes locked on the other's back. Zack, at least in the time they had known each other, and in the memories that Cloud had of those times, had never passed up a free meal. It was an unlikely scenario that more than likely led to some deeper meaning.

"Since when did you start passing on free meals?" The question was sent at the other, the voice in which it was spoke sounding like a mix of curiosity and some other undefined emotion.

It took a minute for Zack to realize that Cloud hadn't moved to catch up with him. Once the realization hit him, he paused, back straight as he glanced to either side of him, puzzled. A low sigh escaped him, and he turned his head. "Hey, where'd you...go?" The question was hard on the heels of Cloud's own, and he eyed him carefully. Cloud was obviously not going to move until he got an answer from him, and so he decided to humor him.

More or less. "Are you gonna stand there talking, or are you going to eat?" The teasing again. But he slipped into a slightly more somber mood, his gloved right hand lifting to scratch his head absently. "Listen, Cloud..." For half a second, he considered bringing it up. "Never mind. You can ask all the questions you want once we get there, okay?" There were a lot of things Cloud would need to adjust to--but Zack intended to make sure that the easing into them was as smooth and without trauma for the younger man as possible.

There were many things that had changed about Cloud over the time they had been separated. He was taller, less thin and lank, more well defined muscle. His eyes no longer sparkled with wide eyed youth but instead held the hard glow that only mako could ever give them. His quiet nature had been retained, although it was less a joyful want to take in the information that was being given around him and more of a need to protect himself from further loss of those he cared most about.

Zack, on the other hand, seemed to have stayed exactly the same. All happy teasing and a slight rambunctiousness that could only ever be fitting of him. They both had a lot to take in, a lot to adjust to. Easing into it may soften the blow, but in the long run it wouldn't make the trauma of realizing what he already knew any easier.

For a moment he considered going along with the other, but that would be against his nature. When he wanted to know something, he wanted to know, and he wasn't going to be distracted away from his goal. "Zack...." The name was said in that no nonsense tone of voice that the other was more than likely already familiar with. "Stop messing around and tell me."

"Alright." If Cloud had been bracing himself for further resistance, the quiet surrender would have come as a shock. Zack had always been one to give in to more flighty instincts--his restless nature making it difficult for him to tolerate direct disappointment. But it was the quiet tone that was both a mixture of resignation and calm authority that drew him up short. If it were possible for Zack to become even more still than he currently was, he did so.

There was a light of respect in the man's eyes now as they met Cloud's. As if he were truly seeing the young man he'd once known so well for the first time. In that moment, it made it impossible for him to ignore that neither of them, in many senses, were the man they'd once been. In time, when it had longer to sink in, that knowledge would be painful. But for the moment, he accepted it calmly. It was time to stop shying away from the answers and give them to Cloud, who had been patient long enough.

"I'm still dead, Cloud." The words were a bit harsher in the implication that he'd meant for them to be, even if his voice was soft. "So I don't need to eat. Not physically. It doesn't mean I can't," he clarified, "but my body doesn't need it anymore."

He exhaled the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "And..." he hesitated, giving his head a shake. "Anything else you want to know before we move on?"

The answer stung, far more than he had been expecting it to. It might have been the way it was given, the cold resignation in which the voice carried that he hadn't been expecting. The words were harsh, unfeeling, and for a moment the memories that he had forced away so long ago flashed before his eyes, forcing the bright blue to become hidden behind the protective barrier of eyelids. Death was something that haunted his waking hours, always plaguing some part of his mind, even if he wasn't aware of it. The dead weren't supposed to walk, weren't supposed to talk. They couldn't smile, couldn't laugh. They held no warmth, and although he hadn't been able to feel it when Zack had hugged him, there was still a warmth there.

Words wasn't something he was good at. He never knew what to say, the right times to say it. Maybe he simply hadn't been programed to know. Either way, his arms fell away from his body slowly, almost as if in surrender. Was there anything he wanted to know? What else was there to know, really. He already knew what it felt like to be inside of the Lifestream. What it looked like, how one's skin would feel after being emerged in the shimmering green substances that was there and somehow just a figment of one's imagination all at once.

So there was really nothing else left to ask, nothing else left to know. And somehow he couldn't get his mind to stop racing, repeating the things that plagued it over and over and over. The question why, always the question why, although he doubted he'd ever really know why. He wasn't sure Zack was even aware of the full reasons behind his actions, only that the path had been chosen and carried out. He could ask, but he already knew there would be no answer.

But all he really wanted was to feel the warmth he had felt before again. the movements took no time and yet a lifetime all at once. Before he was even truly aware of what he was doing he was closing the space between them, his arms enclosing around the other, one around his shoulders and one around his waist. Hugging wasn't something Cloud did. He might give one to Marlene or Denzel if they asked, or if they had scraped a knee or had a nightmare, but hugging wasn't something Cloud enjoyed. Now, however, was different. Hugging Zack was like hugging a piece of the past. One he had never expected to find again.

"You feel cold." The words slipped out before he moved to bury his face into a clothed shoulder, surprised at himself for actually being able to get them out.

Saying that Zack felt guilty at the abrupt change in Cloud's body language would have been an understatement. However grating the words had been, whatever colder twist they'd taken on that seemed uncaring, it didn't change the fact that it hurt him to say it almost as much as it hurt Cloud to hear it. It was the first time he had truly admitted his death--or at least, confronted it directly by saying it first. Euphie had only remarked on his lack of body temperature, and he had confirmed her startled sympathy with nothing more than a curt "...Yeah." But somehow, saying those words aloud, even though he'd held that knowledge for years--it gutted him from the inside out.

"I'm sorry," he wanted to say. "For leaving you, for not being able to stop things. For not being capable of saving you or even Aerith after all." But they stuck in his throat as a stubborn lump, and so he could only stare at Cloud. The stare was a raw one, and with the defensive walls of his happy go lucky nature now removed, he looked nothing short of vulnerable. How could he begin to say all that he wanted to? How did you sum up a lifetime of words in just a few short hours and expect all the missing years to somehow be forgiven?

His eyes softened, and it looked like he was going to say something else, when Cloud moved towards him. For a second, he was taken aback, feeling those arms wrap around him with a sudden tightness that he hadn't expected. The grip wasn't painful, but there was something almost--desperate. Willful, about that embrace. As if Cloud were trying to squeeze the past right back into his bones. His arms rose immediately, wrapping around him in turn and actually pulling him closer, so that the other, shorter man was flush against himself.

The warmth Cloud craved was there instantly--it was plain that, in spite of everything, Zack still cared for him. One hand lifted then and hovered hesitantly over his head for a moment before gently settling over his hair, fingers tangling gently into the soft mass, eyes shutting briefly.

"I know," he said. And then he didn't say anything else, but concentrated instead on the weight and warmth of him, softly stroking his hair. This he could and would give him--freely and for however long he needed.

The hand in his hair came as a surprise, and yet somehow, the moment he felt it, he could feel everything inside of him that had been welling up so violently calm. For a moment he wondered if it was simply because it was Zack, the calming nature of the other somehow being able to affect him even now.

The lack of body heat wasn't quite as shocking now as it had been before, the coldness of the other's skin somehow being the last thing on his mind. Instead he focused on that inner warmth, the one he knew was there, somewhere hidden under the colder outer layers. There was no heart beat, no rhythmic thumping, no signs at all besides for the fact that the other man was walking and talking that he was even alive at all. His words, his confirmation did nothing to quell Cloud's thoughts that somehow he was still alive, not dead like he was so convinced of. How could he be dead if he was there, arms around him, hand in his hair, taking breaths just like he himself was? You didn't need to breath if you were dead.

The words were a soft confirmation that he was already aware of the statement, but they made it no easier for Cloud to accept the chill that was under his fingers as he squeezed the other harder. He didn't want to let go, but he knew that sooner or later he would be forced to, either by the coldness that surrounded them or by some other force. For now, however, he wanted to just stand there and pretend that the past had never happened.

Perhaps 'dead' was only the technical term for what he was. He should have considered the consequences of using the word so carelessly--but at the moment, he couldn't bring himself to regret it. Not when it had resulted in this. He thought of things he could say to further comfort him, make him relax just a little more. Briefly, he thought about reassuring him that he hadn't been alone--Angeal was there, and Aerith--though he already knew about the latter. He wanted to let him know that he hadn't specifically left Cloud alone, either--he'd kept careful watch over his legacy in recent years.

In a sense, that strong, muffled thump trapped against his chest was as comforting to him as his presence was to Cloud. The words he couldn't say earlier left him now. "I'm sorry." There was a slight hitch to his breath, and he only held onto him harder. The two of them couldn't erase the past. What was done was done--but at least he was here now--and that had to count for something.

But he wasn't going to be the one to pull away first. He'd give him all the time he needed. It was the least he could do.

The words sliced through whatever other emotions were swirling around in his head, beating them back into submission. How could Zack possibly be sorry for something that he held no fault over? He had never blamed Zack, now had he held any angry towards the other for the choice he had made, just a deep sense of regret that he hadn't been strong enough to take care of himself.

Pulling away was painful, almost as if he was peeling a piece of himself away. Hew couldn't bring himself to move far, only enough for his eyes to meet Zack's. That was all he'd be able to offer the other at the moment before he was pulling himself into him again. "Don't be sorry. You were still there when I needed you."

Zack wasn't so sure on that one. His choice had been a selfish one, motivated by desperation. If he'd taken the time to read the situation, he'd have realized it was pointless. It might have been avoided. But he's always been one to idealize freedom. Whether or not Cloud blamed Zack did little to change his own conflicted feelings. It was one thing to tell Tseng "We did what we had to." He just wasn't so sure he held any belief in those words anymore.

He blinked, not expecting the other to lift away from him so soon, catching himself just in time from protesting. But he held his gaze steadily, lips quirking into a lopsided grin. "I can be here now, too, you know."

His arms were still tightly wound around the other's body, his face merely lifted far enough away to look at him properly. Zack's words caught him off guard once more and for a moment that passed by as quickly it came, he felt like hitting the other, just reaching back and planting his fist directly into his nose. It'd be little payback for all of the pain and depression he had felt in the place of Zack's dying, and he knew in the end the other really didn't deserve such a reprimand.

Instead he found himself sighing, moving instead to bury his head in the other's shoulder once more. He knew he should have pulled away by now, but even if the other was cold, devoid of any warmth or feeling, it was still Zack and that was enough to make him want to hold on. "You're still an idiot."

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A long overdue Reunion. {Complete}

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