I know what I want but I just don’t know

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

When; Saturday afternoon/evening
Rating; Prolly an R, there's drinking, talking of death, probably definitely fooling around.
Characters; bladed_siberian and cry_reaper
Summary; Mara and Ken drown their frustrations with their memories, the police, and dwell on the fact that drowning their sorrows isn't going to help.
Log;

Mara was trying to relax, but now that she'd remembered she was afraid all over again. What if he came after her again, what if the police couldn't prove it was him and he went free?

She curled on the couch, drinking, waiting for Ken to come by. He really was the only person who could understand what she was going through these days.

Comments

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

Ken arrived as soon as he could, still remotely fresh from his shower. True to his word, he was sporting a very colorful black eye and his split lip was obvious, as was the tape curled around several of his fingers. Even with all of that, he looked a little more like his old self, smiling faintly as he knocked on her door.

After all, he knew she wouldn't think he was lying. He knew she believed him.

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

Mara got up to check the door and seeing it was her friend she opened it. She wished she'd gotten some sleep so she could look a little better, but she figured with Ken, it didn't really matter. She didn't have anything to prove to him.

"Hi. C'mon in."

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

He slipped in quietly, but not after a quick glance around. Old habits were hard to break sometimes. After making sure the door was locked, both for her security and his, he looked her over, trying to smile.

"You doin' alrght?"

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

She shrugged, fingers tightening on the glass she held. "Not really. I almost expect him to come after me again, you know?"

She headed over to the couch and resumed her seat, motioning that he could join her.

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

He followed her lead without question, flopping down next to her without meaning to. The motion jarred bruises along his side and back, but he just gritted his teeth against the stiffness and leaned his head back against the couch.

"Yeah. I keep glancing behind me to see if Ray's there, but I know he won't be. He couldn't sneak up on me again."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

"No I don't suppose he could."

She chuckled a little, she really couldn't imagine anyone sneaking up on him to begin with.

"Drink?"

She rattled the ice in her glass.

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

He shot her his best puppy dog eyes.

"I'd love one."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

Laughing, Mara rose and placed her hand on his shoulder as she passed, giving him a light squeeze.

"I'll bring you two, you need to catch up."

She entered the kitchen and started making the drinks.

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

He chuckled softly after her, shaking his head a little before he let his eyes close. He'd been over his own death enough to be able to keep from seeing Ray's image behind his closed eyes for at least a few minutes, but he still hated to push it.

"You're amazing. I was just thinking the same thing."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

She made the two drinks for him, and another for her and moved back to the living room, setting them all on the coffee table as she sat back down.

Retrieving two she offered one to Ken with a smile, "Here you go." She settled in with her own and looked over, reaching out to lightly touch the skin around his eye.

"I have some drugs, stronger than the regular, if that pains you?"

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

He curled his bandaged fingers around the glass with a pleased half-smile, not flinching when Mara touched the bruising around his eye.

"This isn't that bad, honestly. I've had worse in training. My friends used to hit hard."

His gaze flicked over to her, the look soft and careful as he took a drink.

"Besides, pain helps me think sometimes. It's... kinda stupid, in a way."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

She withdrew her hand and nodded. "Pain clears out external worries, provides a single point of focus. Some of my kind back home... they cut themselves when they work, to help them."

Leaning her head on the back of the couch, sideways, so she could face him, she looked him over.

"You must be thinking very well tonight."

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

Now that just made Ken grin as he took another drink before shrugging.

"I think part of my better mood today is knowing Ray is worse than I am."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

That got a genuine smile out of her, "Good for you. Pity the other wasn't with him."

She took a drink herself, chuckling, imagining the scene.

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

He closed his eyes again, letting his mind wander a little.

"Oh, you shoulda seen him. Face all bloody, limping around, but he deserved it. Bastard kneed me in the balls. So not right that Dean broke us up. If Tsurugi'd been there, I would've done my best to hurt him, too. Fuckers deserve it..."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

Mara took a long drink, the familiar burn settling in her belly as she shivered. The face, the pain... then when everything stopped.

"Better then they deserve."

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

The subtle motion made Ken crack his eyes open and glance over at her before he shifted to lay his free hand on her arm.

"Yeah. I agree, but.... we have to try and trust the police force to take care of things, even if it's... difficult."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

"I know, I know, and I'm not a fighter. I can't..."

But she wanted to, she wanted to badly. Her hand tightened around her glass, despite the comforting touch.

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

"You can be strong without being a fighter, Mara."

His fingers squeezed gently as he shifted to face her, his side against the couch.

"We can't let this get to us so bad. We... just can't."

The words sounded good to him, even if they rang a little hollow.

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

She finished off her drink and set it on the table, sinking back against the sofa.

"I know, I know. Let's not think about this tonight."

She gave him a wan smile, "Let's talk about something else. Anything else."

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

Nodding in agreement, he finished his off as well then reached for his second.

"I was thinking of starting soccer lessons soon, for anyone around here that would want to learn."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

"That sounds like fun, you played at home, right?"

That was much better. Normal things, happier things.

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

Humming under his breath, he nodded again, already starting to work on the second drink.

"Yep. I was a pro back in Japan. God, I miss that. Playing was so much fun. You'll have to come play with me sometimes."

[cry-reaper.livejournal.com]

Smiling, she shook her head, "I don't think I'd be any good. Sports really weren't my thing back home."

[bladed-siberian.livejournal.com]

Snorting, he rolled his eyes, wincing a little.

"Oh please. I can teach you. Hell, I can teach anyone. Come on."