Log; Complete

[medic-assistant.livejournal.com]

When; Friday Evening
Rating; G
Characters; Shizune {medic_assistant} & Hinata {hyuuga_hime}
Summary; Hinata comes to Shizune looking for advice.
Log;
Hinata stood in front of the apartment door, chewing on her bottom lip in apprehension. Pearl-white eyes stared at the wooden door with its metal numbers affixed to the center. It was just a door. Nothing else. Nothing that should have made her as nervous as she felt standing before it. She reached up and brushed fingers through her short indigo hair, other hand fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. It's ok, it's just Shizune-sensei. Why am I so nervous?
Taking a deep breath, she raised one slightly-trembling hand to knock softly on the door.

Shizune hurried to the door from her position on the couch, where she had idly been flipping through a magazine and waiting for the younger woman. She had asked to speak with her, so it must be something important or private, and Shizune desperately wanted a chance to speak with a female, after her more recent male-oriented problems anyway. With a smile she opened the door, checking down the halls for anyone else, just in case. "Hinata! Come in, come in."

Hinata smiled and nodded before stepping inside, hands clasped in front of her. "Shizune-sensei, thank you for letting me come over. I...I don't really have anyone that I can talk to about this... I mean...I can't talk to Neji-niisan. And... And I just...Tenten-san I don't think is the right person to talk to about it..."

"It's perfectly fine, Hinata." Shizune said with a smile, motioning towards the couch for a seat as she closed and locked the door behind her. "Would you like something to drink?" She offered, heading towards her kitchen.

Hinata nodded, sitting down onto the couch and feeling the cushions give slightly under her weight. "Just some cinnamon tea, if you have it." She glanced around, as if looking for something. "I... is Kabuto-san here?" She seemed nervous, as if she wanted to ascertain that the Otonin was NOT, in fact, in residence at the moment.

"No, he isn't. I... he's out." She didn't want to say they'd argued, or something like that. She made sure her smile didn't slip a bit and nodded. "I'll go get that tea then, I'll be right back." She understood the girl was uncomfortable with the thought of him being present. She would be too... if not for current circumstances.

Hinata nodded, feeling the slight tenseness that had permeated her muscles begin to ebb. It wasn't as much that she was afraid of Kabuto, but merely that this particular subject was one about which she wasn't sure she wanted the grey-haired young man to be informed.

Shizune soon had the tea ready, bustling back into the living room with two cups. Setting one down on the table in front of Hinata she set opposite her on the couch and held her cup between her hands, blowing gently on the steam. "So... what is it you wished to speak to me about?"

Hinata picked up her cup and sipped carefully, smiling slightly at the taste. She loved cinnamon. Shizune's question caught her slightly off-guard. While she certainly wanted to seek out the older woman's advice, she hadn't yet figured out how to go about approaching the issue. Now, Shizune had done it for her. She blushed slightly, setting the cup down and folding her hands in her lap, staring down at them. "I. ..That is...I mean.."

"Is it... ah... personal?" Shizune asked, feeling a bit bad now that she'd broached the issue so soon. She should have tried to relax her a bit first, how's the weather, how're you doing, etcetera. Her own problems had her on edge so much that she'd forgotten her manners.

Hinata gulped, trembling slightly, face red. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes tightly and just blurted it out. "Shizune-sensei, how do you make someone love you?"

Shizune blinked. "Make someone love you?" She shifted in her seat. Now that was an awkward question. "Ah... well..." She tried to think. It had been Konoha genin's worst kept secret that Hyuuga Hinata had possessed a rather large crush on one Uzumaki Naruto. She'd even talked to Naruto about it once. (Naruto, of course, was a little clueless on the matter). Was that what this is about? She hoped it wasn't, since Naruto was in this city, and, if she'd heard correctly, was in a relationship with his teammate, Sakura. "Ah... who, exactly?" She finally finished, trying not to look overly awkward herself.

Hinata turned, if possible, even redder, and seemed to shrink down into the couch. She bit her lip, embarrassment warring with determination. It didn't help matters that these specific feelings were the one thing she had tried hardest to keep secret and hidden from everyone. With another gulp, she fidgeted a bit more before she whispered her answer so quietly that Shizune could barely hear it. "N... N... Neji-niisan..."

"Oh my goodness." Shizune put a hand to her face, before realizing that could be misconstrued and quickly removed it, a bit of a shocked look on her face. "Ah... your cousin?" As if to verify that she'd heard correctly. Not that well... most of the Hyuuga clan did marry within the clan, but it was still a bit of a foreign concept to her, having spent more of her life out of Konoha than in it.

Hinata flinched slightly, feeling her cheeks burn. This was, at least somewhat, the reason why she had been so resolute in keeping her affections a secret. She knew very well that while it was a perfectly normal thing within her family to marry within your own clan, that it was a good deal less common outside of the noble ranks that the Hyuuga inhabited. She nodded, feeling her lower lip start to quiver.

Shizune nodded slowly, thinking. That would definitely be a... problem. Hinata had always seemed like a very quiet girl, very reserved. She was extremely talented, but never showed off or bragged. Extremely pretty, but never dressed out or made anything of it. She imagined living your life like that would drive you to have... for lack of a better word... love troubles. "Ah... making him love you..." She struggled for what to say.

Hinata's lip quivered more and without warning, she burst into tears, her slight body shaking as she raised her hands to cover her face and try and wipe away the water that spilled from her pale eyes. "He... He... he hates me... h...he j... just sees... m... me as a Soke... a...and...." She tried to gain control over herself, but Hyuuga Hinata was not known for her great fortitude over her emotions and instead she simply cried harder. "A... and... and... he should hate me... I...I'm the...the reason why...h... his l...life is so... so... sad... b... but I s...still..."

Alarmed, Shizune froze for a moment before a bit of a motherly expression came over her face and she came closer to the girl, taking a seat next to her and putting an arm around her shoulders. "Hinata... I'm sure he doesn't hate you... and it's not your fault his life has... not been the best... that seal came about far before your time... he can't blame you for it..." She murmured, comforting.

Hinata was grateful for the comfort, and clung to Shizune's shirt, burying her face in the material and sobbing. "Y... y... yes... it... is... m... my... f... fault. If I d... didn't exist, then h...he could be ..the heir to the clan. T... then... h...his dreams...could c... come true..."

Shizune patted Hinata on the back, slowly, letting her cry it out. She'd obviously been holding this in for a long time, and it was sometimes good to just... let it go. She supposed she should use the same rules for herself, but she had her problems all internalized, no need to bother anyone with the problems of a grown woman. "Even if he became clan head, Hinata, he'd still have the seal. It wouldn't make him forget his past." She ran a hand through the girl's hair, soothing. "Besides, has he ever told you he wanted to be clan head?"

Hinata shook her head. Shizune didn't understand how it worked. How being the heir, being head of the clan would open all the doors to all the locks and cages that kept her cousin chained. "I... no...he.." She sniffled, dragging her arm across her face to try and dash away the tears. "i... if he... if he b...becomes heir...th... then F...father w... would make him... S...Soke.... He... h... he'd take... take off the...j..juuin... and... N... Neji-niisan w... wouldn't... have to suffer..."

"Do you want to be clan head, Hinata?" Shizune asked, her voice low and calm, despite her own trepidations on the subject. She was hardly the person to be giving anyone advice on finding love.

Hinata shook her head, face still buried in Shizune's shirt. "N... no...I'm... too weak and...I've never wanted it...I just...I just want to not be a burden on everyone anymore. Especially Neji-niisan. I...I want him to SEE me...to really see me..."

"... do you know who your father considers his heir? Considers, not officially or anything..." Shizune asked, continuing with her soothing motions, worried for the girl. She often was a comforter, when she wasn't being comforted herself, for needless fretting.

Hinata shook her head. Her father seldom discussed anything much with her. He viewed her as too weak to even warrant much notice at all, much less to actually share any relevant information with her. And if she tried to approach him, she was often met with harsh words, or even beatings if his temper was bad that day. "H... he doesn't tell me anything... I... I'm just a failure. J... just... something to hit... when he's angry..."

"He HITS you?" Shizune gasped a bit. She'd heard of the Hyuuga head's bad temper... but... this?

Hinata felt her cheeks burn with shame as she nodded slightly. She knew it wasn’t right, and that she shouldn't have to endure it, but her father was the clan head, and she didn't have the right to defy him. Not only that, but she knew that if he didn't have HER to take his anger out on, there was the chance that he'd turn it elsewhere. Perhaps even onto Neji, who was supposed to protect her. And that was more then she thought she could take. "I...he doesn't always...j... just sometimes...he...he didn't use to. But in the last couple of years, Hanabi is so much better then me... that I guess... h...he's angry that I even exist..."

"Hinata..." Shizune's mind was whirling, angry and confused. If she'd know this had been going on she would have told Tsunade-sama in a minute and... she would have marched down to the Hyuuga compound, and, well... it was no use thinking that here. "... Hanabi is not better than you." She finally said, trying to reassure the insecure girl. "You have so much potential, Hinata... why do you stand by and let him degrade you like that?" She shook her head vehemently. "He has no right."

Hinata hung her head. She didn't know what to say when people spoke like this. She'd never seen herself as amounting to much of anything. Years of being told that she was weak and a failure had taken it's toll on the sensitive Hyuuga girl. And the fact that the one person who she most wanted acknowledgement from seemed unable or unwilling to give that notice made it all-the-more painful. She bit her lip, the motion breaking the tender scabs that were still there from the attack a few days ago, letting a thin trail of blood wind it's way down her chin. Shizune-sensei was right, of course. She knew that. But stand up to her father? Could she do that?

"You're bleeding..." Shizune murmured, bringing chakra to her hand on first impulse. She brought her right hand close to the girl's face, letting the chakra touch her mouth and heal the small wounds from her teeth. It took only the merest moment. "Here..." Shizune picked up a tissue from beside the couch and handed it over to the girl to wipe the blood from her chin. "... He still doesn't have a right, Hinata. No one has the right to degrade someone like that, let alone their own daughter."

Hinata flinched slightly, not realizing that her teeth had reopened the wounds. She nodded, taking the tissue and wiping her chin. She sat silently for a moment, not really knowing what to say. "Th... thank you... Shizune-sensei. I... didn't realize that my lip hadn't healed completely from the other night."

"The other night?" Shizune noted the nervousness, the hesitance in the younger girl, a skill she'd taken from constantly working on the healing of others. "... did something happen?"

Hinata's eyes widened slightly. She hadn't meant to bring that up, but now that she had, there wasn't much she could do about it. She swallowed and nodded slightly. "I...I went out on my own...into the City. I..I wanted to try and find a job, so that I wouldn't be such a burden on Tenten-san. W... we... we're staying in her apartment right now, Neji-niisan and I. And...I wanted to help out. S... so... I went out after I made dinner that afternoon. I thought...I thought that if I went out at that time, that there would be restaurants or something open. Some sort of simple job that I wouldn't mess up at. B... but......... I got lost.... and these men... they... they tried to...." She swallowed, unconsciously running fingers through her bangs and trying to rearrange them to make sure they covered the fairly large bruise at her temple. "I..I tried to fight them....b... but... I was too weak... and then... N... Neji-niisan.... he came... and he... he saved me...."

Shizune listened with baited breath, but breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness." She had feared the worse the farther the girl had gotten in her tale. She surveyed the girl a cursory glance for other injuries, but she seemed alright. She smiled a bit. "You know... if he hated you, he wouldn't save you, Hinata." She said, coming back to the girl's original distressed statements.

Hinata's face turned a new shade of red as she glanced up suddenly at Shizune before she glanced away, shaking her head slightly. "He... He only protected me because I'm Soke. It's his duty....nothing more..." She didn't mention the thoughts she had gleaned from Neji at the time. That he had been worried about her. It wasn't that she was unwilling to share them with Shizune, she simply didn't feel that they were anything of concern. Probably just something that he thought in the spur of the moment. Since he would never have actually worried about her.

"This isn't Konoha, Hinata." Shizune was all too aware of that herself. "If he truly hated you he could have let that happen to you, he could have looked the other way, and no one would have questioned it." She smiled a little wider. "He didn't have to save you, but he did."

Hinata frowned slightly. She hadn't really thought about it that way. To the Hyuuga way of thinking, Bunke always served Soke, no matter where they were. The fact that she felt horrified at the mere idea of using the juuin to control Neji didn't take away the fact that it WAS there and that he KNEW it was there. "But... Neji-niisan knows that if he let anything happen to me, Father would punish him when he returned to Konoha..."

"Would you have told your father?" Shizune pushed. "Would he have admitted it?" She shook her head. "The point is, Neji could have gone back, and never told a soul. Hiashi would never have found out. He could have gotten away with it. If he hated you, he could have." She picked up the teacup abandoned when Hinata had begun to cry, pressing it back into her hands and picking up her own, taking a long sip. "Don't try so hard to avoid that he might have saved you because he wanted to."

"I...no. I wouldn't have told Father. He... he would punish Neji-niisan. And I..I don't want that. As for Neji-niisan, I..I don't know. I just...I wish I could change things for him. Make the juuin go away. But I'm not strong enough for that...I don't have enough chakra.." She sipped the cooled beverage slowly, mind mulling over what Shizune had said.

"... I thought only the clan head could undo the seals?" Shizune had been under that impression. Surely some main family member before Hinata had felt the same as she, loving a member of the branch family. But knowing the strict traditions of the family, she supposed it might not be true. "Any main member can?"

Hinata nodded, sipping her tea. "Hai, though Father usually makes sure that no one knows. I..I overheard him talking to Hanabi once about it." She gathered her legs underneath her, folding them onto the couch. "When I found out, I tried to learn. The seals to control it aren't that hard, and every Soke member is taught them once we turn 15. The seals to remove it are the same, up until the final sequence. It's the chakra that's different. It takes so much more to remove the seal then it does to place it, and usually only the clan head has the necessary chakra." She frowned, looking thoughtful before she continued in a quiet voice. "Neji-niisan would be able to do it...if it weren't on his forehead..."

"Can you do a chakra transfer?" Shizune asked after a moment of silence in which her mind was moving fast, trying to work it all out in her mind.

Hinata shook her head. "No, the juuin would interfere. I...I want to get stronger...so I can take that pain away from him. But...I don't know how..."

"... have you been doing chakra stamina training?" Shizune had taught a few academy classes at the Academy since coming back to Konoha, in between hospital shifts and attending to Tsunade-sama. She knew how to teach, to train, especially since she'd been with Tsunade-sama for so long, and the woman's favorite method of teaching was teaching you how to do it yourself.

Hinata shook her head. "I..I really don't know any. I...the only way I know of is to place the juuin on something and try to take it off. And... I don't like doing that, even if it's just to something inanimate.."

"... You could practice with me, if you need to." Shizune offered after a moment. She was a little reluctant, but she trusted the girl, and she had faith in her, despite that she seemed to have none in her self.

Hinata looked up, slightly surprised. "You...you'd teach me how to build up my chakra?"

"Of course." Shizune smiled, giving a quiet laugh. "I'd love to. I know a lot of exercises, and I taught a bit at the Academy."

Hinata smiled slightly, wiping the last of the stray tears from her eyes as she nodded. "Th... thank you... Shizune-sensei..." She set the teacup down on the table and without warning, threw her arms around Shizune's waist, burying her dark head in the older woman's shoulder.

Shizune smiled softly, wrapping her arms around the younger girl and rocking a little bit. It was soothing to her... to be soothing to people. She patted Hinata's back slowly, nodding a bit to herself. At least she was able to help her, and hopefully therefore help Neji, and therefore hopefully help them.

Hinata pushed herself away from Shizune after a moment, and smiled slightly, picking up her teacup and draining it the rest of the way. Standing up, she bowed slightly to Shizune. "Thank you. I..I feel a lot better now. Do... do you think that we could start soon?"

"Of course." Shizune smiled broadly. "Whenever your ready." Her gaze lowered for a moment. "And... uh, about the first concern... I'm afraid I don't really know enough to be much help there..."

Hinata turned red again, and shook her head. "I...it's ok...I..." She swallowed. "..even if I can't make him love me....at least maybe I can find a way to make his life happier..."

"... I'm sure you'll do great, Hinata." Shizune was trying to stop herself from turning red too, a bit too much reminded of her own... love troubles, so to speak.

Hinata nodded, already feeling better. She headed towards the door, nodding to Shizune. "I...I think I'd better be going now. Neji-niisan will start to wonder if I'm gone too long..."

"Alright." Shizune stood to see her to the door. "And come over any time you want to train, it's my pleasure to help."