tampered | Log; Complete

Current Location: outside of karaoke bar

Log; Complete

When; Sunday, the 10th, after the Pyramid Head incident
Rating; PG? PG-13?
Characters; Henry

alessalearnt
Summary; Henry and Alessa run into each other while wandering the City.
Log;

Alessa wandered the streets, looking at things as if she were seeing them for the first time. People recoiled when they saw her scabbed face, but she didn't care. The rain was drenching her hair and her dress, and she could feel the first faint shivers of a cold that would turn into a fever coming on, but she didn't mind. Her feet were filthy, and the rain was cleaning off the blood. It was like she was being born again.

She knew Lisa was going to be angry with her for being out in the rain for such a long time. She had been so worried when she left like she did, but it was necessary. The screams of the innocent were mingling with the guilty, and Alessa couldn't stand by while innocent people were being killed in her name. She had a responsibility to uphold, and she wasn't about to let her blood lust take over her, although there had been many times when it had been very close to doing so.

Alessa was passing by the karaoke bar, when she saw him. She stopped in her tracks and stared at him through the crowd in spite of herself. She knew she didn't look all that great with scabs dotted on her face and neck, but she couldn't help it. She was really seeing him with her own two eyes. She wiped her wet black bangs out of said eyes, and tore her eyes from him, standing to the side to wait for Henry to come past her.

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He'd been carrying around his little laptop while he walked- he left it somewhere the past few days, and found he'd missed too many things. Funny how he felt less connected to what was going on when he was actually out experiencing it, not just reading about it. He stayed out of most everything he came across, wishing again that he'd brought his camera with him.

He got the message from Alessa right after he'd reached that karaoke bar, and so she was surely close by. He tensed up. Memories of that day he'd killed so many had been running through his head, ever since he woke up the day afterwards. He couldn't let himself be comfortable around her. It was dangerous, even if he wasn't that way anymore. He probably shouldn't even be talking to her...but she wanted to apologize, and he wouldn't begrudge her that.

He took a cautious look around and his eyes stopped on a young woman who he would've recognized even without the scars. He bit his lip and walked towards her. "...Alessa?"

Alessa could sense his tension, and she didn't blame him. What had happened that day was something that she knew they would never, ever speak of, but it was clear the memories were vivid in both of their minds. Alessa was overwhelmed with the curiosity as to what he was remembering, and was tempted to do a quick look inside his mind, but she forced herself to not do so. V had told her she would need to tread carefully with Henry, and she was determined to do so.

'...Hello, Henry,' she said, quietly, feeling ashamed of herself. She was so happy that she had her regular body back, but no matter how beautiful she managed to make herself look, she knew there were people who would still view her as nothing more than a monster, and she knew Henry was one of them.

A moment or two passed as she willed herself to say the words that she had been wanting to say ever since she had really started thinking about what had happened. '...I'm so sorry,' she apologized, truly meaning it. 'I shouldn't have let you do something that you would have regretted the next day. I should have stopped you; I could have. But I didn't. I let you go along with me because I was...' She shook her head. 'Never mind that. The point is, I am sorry, and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me, if you can.'

She bit her lip and fought back emotions that had become too prominent lately. She was almost 100% positive that he would reject her, and why wouldn't he? She certainly wouldn't blame him. This is why I am always alone. Forever for all eternity, she thought bitterly. She suddenly wanted to run away, to hide from Henry, to hide from the one thing she knew she could never have again, but she had wanted to apologize, and she wanted to know if he forgave her.

"Don't..." he said automatically. He nodded at her lip, trying to explain himself. "You'll...uh, hurt your face." It looked like that was still healing. He didn't want her to hurt herself.

And now it was time to finally face some of these things he'd been avoiding, what he'd been avoiding in himself. The fact that he liked what he was doing when he was doing it. The fact that he missed that power somewhat still, the way it made him effective. The fact that he'd been trying to see Alessa as a monster, but couldn't do that without only seeing it glaring in himself. It was tempting to write it off as a curse day, but he still had responsibility, didn't he? He was the one who had decided to go out, killing people. His mind shied away at this point- he couldn't deal with the thought of pulling people apart again.

"Alessa...I-" He gulped and tried again. "It was unfair of me to expect you to...keep track of me like that. I don't- uh." He sighed, making a frustrated noise. How could he talk about this when he didn't know what he thought about it himself? And why was he practically apologizing to her? "...thanks for the apology, though. I didn't-" He stared at the ground for a moment before looking up to her, his eyes searching. "Why did you let me go along with you?"

She could taste the blood rising on her lip and suddenly thought of what Pyramid Head had done. She blinked, shaking her head and trying not to think of what he had done in Misery Square. Henry was lucky that he had not been there when it happened; he didn't know how lucky, and she wasn't going to tell him.

'...What are you talking about, Henry? You owe no apologies to me,' she said. 'You have shown me nothing but kindness ever since I came to this place, even now, when you're afraid.' She could sense his fear and confusion; she didn't even have to take a look inside his head to tell that much.

'...I was lonely,' Alessa said weakly. 'A poor reason, I know. Pyramid Head is usually my comrade in times like those, but he can't talk...he takes care of me in his own way, but....the blood lust consumes him completely, and the only reason he stops is because I tell him to. I was hurt, confused, and you were there to comfort me, and he wasn't. He never is. If I'm hurting, he goes and kills something, thinking that it will make me feel better, but...it hasn't, for awhile. You wanted to, and I thought for a moment that maybe...' She trailed off, swallowing, running a hand through her hair.

'...I know I have a responsibility to Xulchibara to uphold, but I'm getting tired. Things would have remained the same if I had never come here, but I am here regardless. I...I am not so sure of many things anymore,' she admitted. 'I thought I would never be healed, that I would always live with the pain, and yet my burns are gone. I thought the guilty deserved nothing more than torture and death, but now I have seen that everyone is guilty in their own way...including myself. I'm confused, and I don't know where to turn. Xulchibara is silent to my questions, and I am getting no answers from Him.' She could feel frustration starting to rise up in the form of tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. 'I want to be happy, Henry, I want to be just like everyone else! But my hands are tainted with so much blood...and they are begging for more, but I don't want to, and it's so hard, because I've been doing this for so long, and...'

She staggered slightly on her feet, which had begun to feel numb. She took a couple of steps backwards to rest her back against the building, and thus support her weight. Her energy was draining fairly quickly, but she wasn't going to leave, not yet.

His frown, like all of his expression, was ambiguous. He didn't mean to make himself hard to read, but he had spent so much time working to be unobtrusive and unnoticed. The effort had whittled away his reactions to almost nothing.

"You should be in bed," he said eventually. He didn't know nearly as much as she did about gods or pain or blood, but that was easy to see. "You're doing too much...you need more rest."

Also, when he turned his attention to her, it helped keep it off himself. He didn't have to think of how confused he was or how he had nothing in the way of answers for her. He could avoid thinking of how he felt almost drawn to her, just like his home. He could avoid thinking altogether. This was easier. She was hurting and he should help. It was much better when everything was black and white.

He walked over towards her, a hint of a smile on his face, and offered her an arm and shoulder. "Come on, I'll get you back to the cathedral."

Her eyes narrowed. '...I've been bedridden for eight years. This is the first time I've felt the rain on my skin in eight years, breathed fresh air, really heard music,' she protested, but her chattering teeth betrayed her.

She wasn't hurting, per se, and the fever that was coming on didn't bother her. Alessa was confused. Xulchibara had always been there to answer her questions and to reassure her that what she was doing was right, but His presence was not with her; her God was elsewhere. This made her worried. She had spent too much time thinking, and it was hard to figure things out without her God's guidance. He had paved the way for her for so long that it was hard making some decisions on her own. There was a part of her that wanted to punish everyone she could get her hands on, because the images of guilt ran through her head when her eyes met those of others, but at the same time, the little girl from so many years before who had never really died, but had been protected by Rose and her husband, wanted to be happy. A part of Alessa wanted to purge all of the darkness from her soul and let it be filled with light.

She hesitated for a moment, her eyes flitting from his outstretched arm to his face. She was almost afraid to touch him, the memory of the last time she had been this close to him hitting her like a slap in the face. Alessa could feel her cheeks start to burn in a blush, and she prayed that he would think it just sickness and nothing otherwise as she wrapped an arm around his waist as they made their way through the crowd slowly.

'....thank you,' she said quietly. 'You have so much goodness and compassion, Henry...it's...' She wanted to say beautiful, but didn't think he would respond to that very well. '...It's admirable.' She waited a few moments before she continued to say what she had been wanting to for several days. 'Henry....could you...could you teach me? Teach me to feel empathy for everyone, to be like a normal person? Could you help me, please...?' She let the silent tears fall now, letting them mix in with the rain. Please save me from myself. The plea was silent, but it was there nonetheless.

Surprisingly enough, he laughed- a quiet, bitter chuckle that didn't sound like it should come from someone so unassuming. He was the last person that should be giving empathy classes (although there was probably one or two other people in the city who should hold that title, he had to admit). Why else had he moved to South Ashfield Heights in the first place, if not to get away from people and a life he didn't understand? How else could he have holed up for so long that only one person even knew what he looked like?

He shook the thoughts out of his head. "I'm sorry, it's just...I'd like to, but I think you might have the wrong guy. I don't understand people at all, most of the time. I can try, but...I don't know how much help I'll be." He looks out towards the closest crowd of people, which happened to include at least a couple talking animals. "...I guess none of us are normal, though...if we're here. I'll do my best."

He's holding his arm somewhat awkwardly. It's not because he's uncomfortable with Alessa, but because he's uncomfortable with physical contact at all. The last time he'd helped someone walk was....god, Eileen. That was so different. But he has to admit that he feels more comfortable around Alessa than most. She understood things. More than he did, even.

After a pause, he continued, sounding a great deal more meek. "I'm...I know you haven't been able to move around for a long time. But if you do too much at once, you'll get sick and have to stay in bed. I can't imagine how hard it must've been, being stuck there, but..." Damn, he never said the right things. It's almost as if they got garbled up on the way out of his head. He hoped what he meant got across enough, and gave it one more try. "I just don't want you to be stuck inside any more than you have to."

'Thank you,' she said, meaning every word. She couldn't understand why he didn't think that he would be able to help her, although he was willing to try. Henry was one of the most compassionate people she had ever met, with the exception of Rose. He was best suited to the job in her opinion. She would just have to make sure to keep Pyramid Head as happy as possible in order to prevent him from going on another killing spree like he had earlier in the day. Pyramid Head's jealousy had touched and frightened her.

Henry wasn't the only one not used to the human contact. She hadn't really touched anybody in forever, it felt like. Lisa had been kind enough to let her stroke her nurse's face, run her fingers through her blonde hair and touch her arms and hands in wonder. Lisa was a woman, though, and Henry was a man. She resisted the temptation to tighten her loose grip on him; she had never known her father, and as a result, had never had any physical contact with the male gender before, except for...

Alessa shuddered violently, forcing those memories back, as far as they could go. The memory of her burning was one she could live with, but that....no, that was too painful, too frightening. He's dead, you killed him, remember? He can't hurt you anymore, no, he can't, she reassured herself. She knew Henry would never hurt her like that. Oh no. Henry was too good, too kind to do such a thing.

She focused on his words, ignoring the feeling of nausea that threatened to rise up in her stomach; it was a feeling that commonly accompanied those particular memories. '......I see,' she murmured. 'You remind me of Lisa, my nurse. That's something she would say.' His words touched her, it showed that he actually cared. Don't get your hopes up, she warned herself, but happiness was already rearing its traitorous head.

Henry was already extremely aware of anything that happened in his personal space, regardless of his total obliviousness anywhere else. When Alessa shudders, he almost pulls away entirely. He thought maybe he'd hurt her, then wondered if- for some insane reason- she was scared of him.

He heard what she said about Lisa, and he was glad someone was there to help her, but he still frowned. "Are...are you okay?" He pulled his arm in somewhat so if she wanted to pull away from him, she wouldn't feel uncomfortable in doing so. "I'm sorry, if I did something wrong..."

'No, no, it's all right. It's nothing,' she said. '....just a nightmare, a bad memory, is all. But it's okay.' Her lips twitched slightly in something resembling a mad smile. '...I punished him for what he did, and he'll never wake up, never, not from my nightmare....oh no, Colin will never hurt little girls ever again, the bastard...'

Her grip on Henry's waist tightened unconsciously, and she clenched her free fist; a small trail of darkness and rust followed her footsteps as she gritted her teeth in unspoken rage. She knew she wasn't the only little girl to have gone to her mother in tears, wailing, unable to say what was wrong out of fear. She knew she wasn't the only one to wake up from nightmares, scared half to death of the man lurking in the shadows, the man in the janitor's clothes, the one hiding in the closet. She knew she wasn't the first to be terrified of wandering through the hallways of Midwich Elementary School alone, being watched by the abomination that was Colin.

'....shit,' she closed her eyes tightly, willing herself to get her anger under control. If Pyramid Head caught wind of her emotions....the whole City would be fucked. '...no, it isn't you. It's a part of my past that I'm afraid to think about....someday, I'll tell you of it, but now isn't exactly the best time.' Her free hand slowly unlenched itself as she sneezed into the crook of her arm. They were nearing the cathedral, and she glanced over at Henry. '...you know, you could always stay at the Cathedral if you needed a place to stay. I wouldn't bother you, I promise.'

Henry's eyes widened at her reaction. God, was everyone in that town horrible? It didn't take much to guess at what might've happened to her. "I'm sorry...to bring it up again, then." No wonder she had shuddered. But the revelation made him only more awkward as to how he should hold himself- he didn't want to rub in any bad memories. He walked more stiffly, trying to keep from jolting her.

The cough worried him, too- it sounded like she was getting sick. He probably should've tried to find her sooner. Her offer to stay was very tempting- he could keep an eye on her, talk to Rukia, maybe find out what Rosiel is up to, and besides- it just felt right. Not quite as right as his home, but...much better than most places. "I'll...I think I might want to. Stay there. I'm going to take another couple days to think about it, maybe....thank you, Alessa." He smiled very briefly, then asked, "You don't think Rosiel would mind, do you? I don't know if that place is actually his, or...uh, I don't know."

'No, you're not at fault,' she said quickly, shaking her black bangs out of her eyes. She had been tempted to go to Dorian more than once and ask - beg if she had to - to take away those memories, but hadn't managed to do so just yet. Xulchibara had told her that her suffering and pain was part of what made her who she was, and to remove any of that pain was to destroy a part of who she was.

'Rosiel?' She gave a weak laugh. 'Of course not. He wishes to use you for his own ends...I don't trust him,' she said, lowering her voice as the cathedral came into sight. 'He is up to no good, I assure you. Whatever uses he has for us as pawns in this game of his is not going to be pleasant.' She was tempted to tell him of what Rosiel had said, that he was telling others that Henry could control Pyramid Head alongside her, and decided to wait until Henry had actually made a decision. 'He would be thrilled to have you closer to his den.'

She paused a moment. '....I will protect you from him as best I can,' she finally said. 'I know you two apparently have some sort of agreement, or contract, and I may not know much about him, but he isn't the only one who has heavenly beings favoring him.' It was the least she could do, after all that Henry had and was going to do for her. Besides...she had grown to care for him, but she would never admit it to anyone, least of all herself.

Funny, Henry had been tempted to ask Dorian to take away memories as well. He'd come to realize that he didn't remember much except for what he wanted removed, those horrible days and nights imprisoned in his home. It had been V that had convinced him- Henry trusted V. From Henry's viewpoint, V was the most stable person in this madhouse. Perceptions can be so odd.

He stays quiet for a few moments, trying to think of what to say to Alessa about Rosiel. "I....I asked him to leave Walter alone. Walter...he was going to just go along with anything Rosiel said. And I don't think Rosiel understood just what-" Now it's Henry's turn to shudder. "He doesn't understand."

After a few seconds of silence, he continues. "So I asked him to stop and he said he wanted something in return for it....he hasn't asked much of me, though. I don't understand what he's trying to get at half the time, so maybe...I don't know. He's always been pretty nice to me, actually. I understand why you're worried, though..." He trails off, then thinks this might be a good place to bring it up. "It's...uh. I heard he wants you to talk to Rukia...I'm not sure why. I don't know much about her. But I think he's trying to get at something there." Henry sighs. He really isn't good at figuring out this stuff.

'............Walter will have to be destroyed,' Alessa murmured darkly. 'Death cannot stop him, and this City has tainted his soul. He might have been saved, granted salvation, if the City had not gotten to him first. He is lost.' She was sure of her verdict. Walter had fallen away once too many times, and there was no hope for him anymore. Through destruction, his soul could rest at peace.

'It is true, he has been awfully kind,' Alessa admitted. 'He was the one who talked to Raphael and asked him to heal me. But still...I do not trust him, not one bit. No matter how he may plea or try to flatter me with his words, he still has a serpent tongue, and it is one to not regard lightly.' She began to relax in Henry's presence, the disturbing memories from before fading away.

'Rukia...I know nothing about her, only that she had managed to find herself caught in Rosiel's spider web. He told me to tell her my story. I will do so, if only for the sake of lightening the burden somewhat,' she said. 'I don't know what he hopes to accomplish...I can only assume that my tale will probably disturb her, but I do not know what the worth is in that.'

Henry merely stared at the ground when Alessa talked about Walter. If the City got to him, who knows what he'd do. Henry certainly wasn't expecting his tormentor to protect the carousel. But he can't help but think they should at least try to get him to move. This was perhaps due to the fact that Henry didn't know if any of them could destroy Walter. He had tried, once....he thought it had worked, even though Eileen was lost. And then he had hands around his throat.

Henry had the mad idea that maybe they needed to get Walter back to the apartment. Make him remember. But ha- why would he want that?

Henry had taken so long processing what Alessa said about Walter that he didn't respond to her for quite awhile. Eventually, he said, "I don't, either. And I...I know I don't really know what...what happened to you, but can guess how horrible it was. If it would help, you can tell me, too...if not, that's okay." They reached the cathedral doors at this point, and Henry moved quickly to go open the door, almost instinctually falling into that habit of of opening, checking for monsters, then helping his companion through. He only did that for one day, but it appeared to be burned in his mind for good.

Alessa brushed past him, grateful to be out of the rain, her brow furrowed in thought. Did she want to tell Henry about what had happened to her? She wasn't sure...but then, if she did, then maybe he would understand how she felt about things, and why she did what she did best: being the jury, controlling the judge.

'...All right. I can talk to the both of you at once. Things might make more sense if you understand what happened to me, what made me what I am,' she said gravely, shaking her head then to replace her somber expression with what she hoped was a smile. 'Thank you for escorting me here...um, you can stay as long as you like, warm yourself up and all that...' She trailed off, aware of her voice echoing across the stone walls. 'This place is sacred. It isn't one of my places, or even Xulchibara's...I don't think even Rosiel can claim it, to tell you the truth. I think it belongs to him.' Alessa tugged on Henry's hand to lead him into the chapel, then stopped, pointing past the bowl containing holy water to the altar and the porcelain crucifix erected behind it.

'The Thorned King,' she said. 'I think this place is his.' Alessa had been reading the Bible since she had taken up residence in the cathedral, but did not view Christ as the ultimate and only god. To her, the Bible was just another story of another god that was created by her God, her God that would come back again to build Paradise and open the door. The religion she had been raised in worshipped many Deities and angels, and she assumed that the "Thorned King" was one of them.

He stared up at the crucifix, realization finally dawning on him that out of all the people and things here, this was something familiar to him. The first real sign he'd have of his religion since before he was trapped. Not that that really meant much- he hadn't gone to church in years and years. And yet, here Christianity was. It was almost odd now.

There was several seconds of gaping, followed by the sad and careful words, "Everything in this place...it all belongs to the city. This isn't any different." He looked at the floor and squeezed her hand. "Except...maybe the people don't belong to it." Maybe they belonged to something else entirely.

He knew he should let go of her hand, let her get some rest, but for some reason he just couldn't separate himself. He compromised by asking, "I...show me where you're staying? I'll make sure you're all settled before I go." He was wet, but he wasn't cold.

She cocked her head to the side slightly as she watched his expression, a small smile coming to her lips. There was familiarity in his eyes now, and that only meant one thing. The Thorned King was Henry's god. She was glad that he was able to see his Deity. She knew how hard it was to be parted from one's God or Goddess. Even now, Xulchibara's absence was like a small part of her was missing.

Alessa could feel the heat rising in her cheeks that she had felt only once before as his grip on her hand tightened. '...I don't think the people belong to the City either....' Her voice trailed off, and she sighed, sneaking a glance over at him. A daydream invaded its way into her head for a minute, the image of touching her lips to his again making it hard to breathe. She blinked. Stop it. That was a one-time thing.....but..... She was suddenly very aware of how close they were to each other, and even more aware of how both of them didn't make a move to make the distance greater.

Henry's voice snapped her out of her reverie. '...all right; thank you,' She murmured, leading him across the chapel, past the altar, and to a staircase leading up to the second level. Their footsteps echoed as they ascended the stone staircase, bringing them to a carpeted hallway. Wooden fixtures of Biblical figures - Christ and the Virgin Mary being the most prominent - stood guard near the doors that led to the rooms of the occupants.

"It's...really nice, here." The words were stilted, but he meant it. This was the first time he felt anything like 'comfortable' since leaving his apartment. He stared at the Mary that stood fixed near the door- he hadn't been Catholic, so even that was somewhat new. "I'm glad you've got a good place to rest."

And this meant he should head back, didn't it? He didn't want to. He wanted to stay with her and take care of her and talk- but Alessa needed rest, he reminded himself. He reluctantly pulled his hand away from hers and said, "I'll...uh, I guess I'll head out now. Thanks, for talking to me. I hope the rain didn't make you sick, but...uh, I'm glad you can go out in it." He smiled nervously, and his hand moved up, as if to touch her face. It got about halfway before he decided not to, and pulled it back down to his side. "I, uh...I hope you have a good rest."

She nodded; they were outside the door to her room now, and she could tell that Lisa knew she was back; she could hear her nurse shuffling around, wanting to greet her and curious as to who was with her, but at the same time not wanting to intrude on Alessa's private business.

'Thank you, for walking with me,' she said softly, her breath catching in her throat when he reached out towards her, but just as suddenly as it came upon her, it was gone when he lowered his hand. Alessa felt as if something was supposed to be done at this point, but she wasn't entirely sure what it was. She wanted to ask him to stay, that he didn't have to go now, did he? But there was always the one thing looming in the back of her mind: rejection. She knew rejection was inevitable, but for some reason, it didn't stop her from standing on her tiptoes to give Henry a quick peck on the cheek.

'Again, thank you. I guess I'll see you around then,' she muttered, her eyes averted from his face. She turned from him, slipping into her room and closing the door slowly behind her. Lisa gave her a quizzical look, curious, but not daring to say anything. Alessa stood by the door for several moments, her eyes fixed on the floor. These new emotions were unsettling. They made her do things she would never have normally done, but she couldn't get rid of them, no matter how hard she tried. She was caught in some sort of downward spiral, and she had no idea where it would lead her.

I guess I'll just have to find out, she decided, before letting Lisa fret over her like a mother hen with its chicks.

Henry watched the door close, not entirely sure what just happened. He'd been scared of her, scared of what she had brought out- encouraged, even- in himself. Yet now he'd agreed to teach her...what? How to be a normal person? He didn't even know what that meant himself.

But things weren't so bad. If he helped her, maybe it'd do something to make up for what he'd done. And he couldn't fight the feeling that he really wanted to do it.

He left the cathedral with a smile on his face.

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