tampered | CLOSED ♪ unfinished ♪ just say you're sorry

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CLOSED ♪ unfinished ♪ just say you're sorry

When; Backdated to Wednesday morning.
Rating; PG for language most likely.
Characters; Luke fon Fabre (

chosenfake) and Guy Cecil (

servidude).
Summary; Luke and Guy have a talk over punch. Except it's The Talk and it's not the kind of punch you drink.
Log;
[After the minor fiasco of the last curse-- a child? again? and the arrival of Van-- Luke's been throwing himself into running the restaurant with a sort of enthusiasm that means he's probably worried, or hiding something, or both. But today he's been forced to take a day off. Circumstances and certain pushy friends know when he's been working himself too hard.

After his usual morning ritual of staring blankly out the window, he rises and dons his adventuring clothes, then slips out of his room. He doesn't know if Guy is going in to work either. He knocks softly on Guy's door as warning, then lets himself in.

It's natural curiosity. He wants to see what Guy's working on, and besides that, he... really wants to be around his best friend. There's so much unspoken between them, and for once that's just fine with Luke. He doesn't think he could explain the way he's feeling in words.

And if Guy wasn't here, well, maybe Luke could find a book he hasn't read or something.]

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Come in.

[Guy pushes away from his work bench to look up as Luke lets himself in. The plans and parts for his project with Rita are scattered over his desk--but in his usually, almost compulsively organized way. His whole room is like that, obsessively clean and organized and neat. Nothing out of place, as usual.]

Hey Luke. [He smiles in greeting, happy to see the redhead, though from his own distracted expression there's a lot on his mind. Luke's been over-working himself, and avoiding Guy in a way and Guy knows that means somethings up.]

[Plus he promised Tear he'd ask Luke about something... So this is a good opportunity.]

It's good to see you, stranger.

[Luke's made himself pretty scarce, huh? Well, he always did win hide & seek at the mansion. That little teasing remark makes him smile sheepishly, mostly out of guilt. But he's happy to see Guy's here, and the apprehension quickly gives way to relief.]

Good morning.

[It's still a tad awkward, though. Without Ramdas to tell him not to cohort with servants, Luke feels free to wander around Guy's room, looking at things on the shelves but never touching them. It's a nice distraction, at least.

This kind of controlled chaos is far beyond Luke's organizational skills, or lack thereof. He always admired it even if he never understood it.]

[Guy watches Luke look around, spins his chair completely so he can observe his friend. Something's definitely up, but he'll approach it sideways like he usually does, by talking about something else first.]

You've been pretty busy lately. I've been meaning to ask you something--I saw Tear, the other day with all the visitors. She said a couple of things that were pretty alarming.

[He's like a child afraid to touch things though the desire is there. It's kind of funny in a sad way, because he's really only seven years old, and he was less than that a couple of weeks ago. With amazing care, he tenderly takes a book from a shelf and carefully thumbs through it. Most of it doesn't make sense to him, but he pays attention to any notes or highlights, and skims the captions below diagrams.

... Yeah, this is all confusing. He makes a face and moves to put it back, but then Guy mentions Tear and everything he just read is forgotten promptly.]

You saw Tear?!

[What did she say? What-- was it something about the future? Was it... something about...

Suddenly he's back into panic mode, and he's also concerned and /damn it/ why didn't Tear come to see him too? It might be ages before he can keep his promise...!

He's also a little jealous, but that almost goes without saying.]

[Guy's going to have to remind Luke it's okay to touch his stuff... ~~Maybe leave apple gels laying around hidden like dog treats to train the kid out of being shy.~~ But another time. He sees how Luke reacts to Tear's name and he can't blame him, he misses the others too. Seeing Tear and Jade was really nice.]

Yeah. It sounded like she was in a weird situation. I was a little too shocked to ask her much about it, but...

Luke, how much do you know about sex?

[He's hanging onto every word like it might be the last he hears of Tear. She's in trouble? He has to-- there has to be something they can—]

... What.

[It's too flat to even be a question. He's wondering if this is some kind of weird alternate reality dream he's having, because he can't believe that Guy is asking him this.

And then the blush begins-- slowly but surely creeping across his cheeks, pinkening his nose, flushing all the way to his collar.]

The hell— what kind of question is that?!

[Yeah that was his reaction to Tear too. But he told Tear he'd talk to Luke! And so here he is, talking to Luke. At least Luke doesn't look so tentative and timid and weirdly uncertain anymore.]

[Now he just looks embarrassed and freaked out. Big improvement, right? It makes it easier for Guy to approach the subject calmly anyway. It's just biology.]

Well? Are you going to answer?

[It's not biology. It's parenting.] I—... You're really serious about this, aren't you?

[He's crying and screaming on the inside, but all he does is close his eyes and cover his face with a hand. Because that'll help how awkward this conversation is.

He takes a deep breath.]

I know the basics, anyway. It's not like I have a ton of experience... The only girl who's ever kissed me is Mother.

[He peeks at Guy from behind his bangs.]

... Please tell me this doesn't have anything to do with Tear.

[If Guy is really going to give him the girlfriend talk, Luke might just ragequit life right now.]

[Well he did raise Luke, he's got a lot more experience at parenting than most normal twenty-one year olds.]

[And yes he's serious, and yes they're having this discussion. He treats it like a normal thing, because acting like it's shameful gives the wrong message. And it's not like he hasn't fielded pretty much all of Luke's development up to this point. It'd be better if Luke felt comfortable asking him things if it does become an issue in the City.]

You're a bit young to have experience anyway. But... Your body is older I guess.

[Still looking calm over here for when Luke peeks.] And yeah, it has to do with Tear. According to her you had some misinformation on the subject, and she wanted me to clear it up.

It's pretty natural to be interested in girls, with your physical age. But knowing the basics and knowing how to be safe about it aren't necessarily the same.

[Luke is pretty determined not to let it become an issue. Even if Guy is acting totally unafraid and casual about this, Luke still wants to hide his face in his hands and never ever look up.

God, he's so stupid that even Tear-- even Tear!-- has caught on. He's not sure what to feel about that. His expression is pained. He really doesn't want to deal with this at all. It's humiliating as hell, but it's also... just thinking about doing that kind of thing with /Tear/--

Yeah, stopping his thoughts right now.]

Are you sure we need to have this conversation? [He steps closer to Guy, voice lowering a notch so that Florian can't hear. He runs his left hand through his bangs.] I mean, I'll probably never...

[And then that hand forms a fist and launches right at Guy's jaw without any warning. What the f--?!]

[It isn't like Guy hasn't teased Luke about girls before. He was sure Luke did know the basics, but after talking to Tear... A refresher couldn't hurt. Of course he wasn't exactly the most experienced person to talk to, but he didn't lack for knowledge all the same.]

[So it was that Guy was a bit busy deciding what he should go over, to make sure Luke's knowledge was up to snuff, and wasn't paying attention to Luke's protests or approach.]

[Until the fist slammed into his jaw and nearly knocked him out of his chair. Oh wow, that hurt. He wasn't even prepared for it.]

What the hell?!

[Luke doesn't even realize what he did. He's just... staring at Guy and wondering what happened. And then he notices an aching feeling in his knuckles...]

Wha...

[Panic switches all flipping to ON.]

Guy! I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-- are you okay?!

[please don't be bleeding please don't be bleeding]

[...Guy raises a hand to test his lip gingerly. Yeah, he's bleeding. Well, he's had worse knocks, but that was unexpected. Seems the same way for Luke, interestingly enough.]

I'm fine. What was that about?

[PANIC PANIC PANIC.] You're bleeding! [It's like Guy lost a limb. Luke looks around for a minute, finds a rag, and offers it to Guy. He's kind of afraid he'll punch him again, and tries to solve this problem by backing up afterward.

Way up.]

I don't know. One minute we were talking, and the next...

[He grasps his left wrist so tightly it hurts.]

Luke, relax. I'm fine. [Seriously he's gotten worse injuries just practicing. He takes the rag all the same, blots at the blood with an edge that's vaguely clean and not oil-stained.]

Don't worry, alright? [Now Guy's worried. That reaction is too extreme--Luke's complex just doesn't seem to be letting up at all.]

It sounds like you didn't know what you were doing, maybe it's a curse. So just sit down and stop panicking.

It wasn't even much of a punch. [A lie, Luke hit pretty hard.] Pretty girly, actually. [He gives as much of a smile as his mouth will allow without hurting too much.]

It could be...

[Like the curse slot. He doesn't say that, but the possibility is there. The City could make them do anything. Maybe it made him act on his desire to stop the conversation? It couldn't be anything worse than that... right?

Ffffff. Stop doubting yourself so much, Luke. He loves Guy like a brother, like a mother, like a best friend. There's no reason he would ever want to hurt his caretaker.

He slowly lowers his arms to his sides. Even Guy's jest doesn't get him to smile.]

What if it happens again?

[What if he draws a weapon? What if he can't--

deep breath... deep breath.]

Calm down.

[Guy's voice shifts, takes on a tone that isn't teasing. It's calm and authoritative, the kind of voice you use when you want to be listened to and taken seriously, and the voice he used to use when Luke was younger and he needed the kid to pay attention or stop acting out.]

You didn't hurt me, and you're not going to. Take a seat, and don't worry about it.

[He lowers the cloth from his lips, leans back to look at Luke seriously.]

Something's been eating at you. [He can make a guess or two. But it's better if Luke says it.] You didn't come in here to look at my books or see what I was working on.

[Or get an aborted version of the Talk--don't think you're getting off there, there will be a continuation.]

What's on your mind, Luke?

[He hasn't heard that tone in a while, and it has the same effect on him now as it did back then. He closes his mouth and looks like he's been slapped. Guy's right-- but Luke is still afraid he'll do something he'll regret.

And now Guy knows that something is up.

He lingers in that awkward moment where he could deny it and leave, but he already knows from experience that it won't work. Another moment or two is spent fidgeting, adjusting his gloves, as he sits on the edge of Guy's bed.]

... A lot of things, [he says lamely.]

I don't know what to do about Master Van, especially now that we have the Key of Lorelei. He doesn't know about that yet but it's not something we can afford to lose.

Edited 2011-07-16 09:00 (UTC)

[Of course it's Van. Guy's been worried about that too... What to do about it. For now he's decided to watch and see. Van's important to him, too important to make any hasty decisions about, whatever Luke's told him about the future. And Van's from Guy's time, maybe he can change his mind.]

[Whatever the case, maybe none of it matters, here. He's not stupid enough to trust that, but... He'd like to give that option a chance to be true. And if it's not, he's honestly not sure where he stands any more.]

[Hopefully it doesn't become an issue he has to decide.]

Do you think he'd have a use for it here? As far as I can tell he's just coping with being here, like the rest of us.

[Luke is ever aware of the delicacy of the situation, and like usual, he's taken it upon himself to stress out over it. His shoulders slump.]

He could find a way to use it. Either to protect himself, or to stop us from doing anything...

[That's another thing he's been thinking pretty hard about lately. What was once a half-formed idea has now become something more, something he can obsess over. He looks up at Guy.]

... I want to leave the City, and I think the Key could help with that.

[Holy topic shift. What?]

What do you mean?

[Explain, now. The situation with Van is one thing, this is quite another. Guy doesn't know what to make even of the possibility. It's not like he's been resigned to stay, but until now he hasn't encountered even a likely plan or mechanism of escape.]

[And Luke thinks the Key might do it. It's possible, it's powers are unknown, it's existence was supposed to be only theoretical. Guy runs a hand through his hair.]

What exactly have you got in mind?

[Hello, have you met Luke? He ruins the expected situation merely by existing.]

Ever since I've been here, there's been no mention of what's outside at all. And that's not right. We need to know. What if there's been a way home the whole time? But the last time the barrier went down, monsters razed the City. I want to do something less drastic.

[He looks at his hands.] I could use my hyperresonance to open the barrier in just one spot, and then we can let a group of people through and see what's outside. I'm probably not strong enough by myself, but with Asch and the Key of Lorelei, and maybe some other people-- we might have a better chance.

[He closes his fists and meets Guy's eyes.]

I think it's important to see what's out there, even if it means leaving the City for a while.

[Sure he agrees with all of the first part. It's true, and it's been on his mind since he got here, despite his easy way of integrating with the new situation. But Luke says something else that bothers him, and he has to focus on that a minute. It's more important than going home.]

Wait wait, hold up a minute. [He holds up a hand, to stall Luke from continuing, and meets his friend's eyes.]

Isn't your power of hyperresonance killing you? [It's a blunt way to say it, and not worded accurately. It's fonon separation Luke has to worry about, but the power of hyperresonance is going to accelerate that.]

[Luke admitted it to Guy himself back in the clone curse.]

You can't just try something that might damage you without even knowing if it'll work. [In theory hyperresonance should be able to work if anything can. Theoretically hyperresonance is just incredibly powerful--a double hyperressonance backed by others? Unimaginable. But that's in theory.]

[In reality it's definitely risky--not just because of the power itself, but because of the very real danger to Luke.]

There's got to be another way.

[His expression falters for a brief moment. It's something Luke hasn't been dwelling on too much, because he's been fortunate enough to stay together /this/ long. He's thankful for every single day.

But a safe life as a prisoner is less appealing than a risky life as a free man. He can't just sit by and let things happen to him anymore. Not when he has promises to keep.]

If there was another way, don't you think someone would have said something by now?

[He lets out a slow breath, but try as he might, he's beginning to shake all over, on the inside... on the outside. His hands, everything. He remembers. He knows, and he remembers, and--]

I know it's dangerous. I-- I don't want to die!

[He takes a few seconds to collect himself. His voice is rough and quiet in the black hole of silence that his outburst created.]

But... I don't want to stay here and wait for it to happen, either. I'd rather try and fail than sit around wondering if I'll ever make it back.

[Guy watches this for a minute, listens to Luke until he can't watch or listen any longer and he stands, taking the couple steps across the room to stand in front of Luke and bend down to hug him.]

[Stupid. Stupid. Both of them. Luke for considering this, keeping everything locked away... And what the hell for? Hadn't Guy already lectured him on why you had to lean on friends? Was he going to have to again? And Guy himself was an idiot for not dragging it out of Luke sooner.]

[But more than that, he was an idiot for not having an alternate solution. Because he didn't. It was a gamble but was it really one they could afford not to take? The only person Guy knew who could do anything about Luke's condition wasn't even here. Without Jade, any hope of figuring out how to deal with Luke's plight isn't any hope at all. Unless...]

[He can make a deal.]

[He squeezes tighter. There is no argument he can make, so he just... Takes a deep breath.]

You're not going to die. [Whatever he has to do to ensure that.]

...

When were you thinking of trying this?

Edited 2011-07-16 11:59 (UTC)

[He was going to tell Guy eventually. Probably before he petitioned the City for help. Or maybe he felt like he should say it today, and that was what drew him into Guy's space. Whatever the reason, the not so secret plan is out now, and Luke's true motivations with it. He doesn't want to die, and he feels like the longer he sits here doing nothing, the faster death comes for him.

He has no idea that Guy might even consider asking the aid of the deities. What sane person would? All he's concerned about is keeping himself together, a rather futile thing in front of Guy, but it's not like he hasn't said this before.

'I don't want to die... I don't want to die!'

He's more accepting of his death now, but not his ultimate fate. He has a promise to keep. He knows his time here is limited, and he wants to make the best of it. If that means failing utterly at this mission, then he will go back to living his last days in the City with his original and his best friend and everyone else he knows.

But he's not ready to give up yet. Even at his lowest, even when he's shaking in Guy's warm hold, he still refuses to give up.]

Guy...

[He gradually begins to calm down. Deep breaths help, as does the old, familiar scent of Guy's clothes. He doesn't even realize he has one hand curled tightly into the blond's sleeve; it's instinct by now, just like hiding his face in Guy's shoulder. But he has to say something eventually, which means turning his face aside a bit. He's not ready to let go.]

I wanted to get this over with before fall came.

Edited 2011-07-16 16:26 (UTC)

[Guy left a hand on Luke's back, the other raising to rest lightly on the kid's head. It bothered him how powerless he was sometimes--it'd always bothered him, that he couldn't do much for anyone he cared for. He was either too young, or too weak, or too ignorant, or just didn't know enough. He didn't particularly tend to dwell on his failures, or the things he couldn't do, but in a moment like this, how could he not feel it?]

[Helplessness was a terrible burden. It wasn't that he wanted to take all Luke's responsibilities... The kid was strong, and he had a lot of atonement to do--probably a lifetime's worth--but he didn't have to go through it... So sad. Or scared, alone. Even if Luke didn't seem to get that point sometimes.]

Don't say it that way. [Over with. Like it's a death sentence. It might be. He lets Luke hold on for as long as he needs, and he wonders not for the first time if this is what having a brother is like. For once it doesn't make him feel so guilty to think it, so much like he's betraying the memories of his family, his pact with Van... A little brother like this wouldn't be so bad at all.]

If you want to find out if it's possible and if it is, go out and see it, we need to prepare a bit. We don't know what we'll find out there. [We. Because Luke would be seeing whatever they encountered, if it worked. Because Guy wasn't going to let him just disappear.]

[Luke often felt that way too. Despite everything he had done, he still had moments of powerlessness. But it didn't stop him. He was of the opinion that the most powerless people were those who refused to try at all. Even doing something in secret was better than hating yourself for inaction...

He doesn't argue with Guy, at least not about that. He doesn't want to think of it as a death sentence either, but he's doomed in that respect anyway, right? He just-- doesn't think about it too much. He wants to smile, and have other people smile with him instead of worrying.

He lingers in Guy's embrace for a little too long, but the use of 'we' makes him blink and straighten a bit.

We...

Of course. There was no way that Guy would let him do any of this alone. And Guy wouldn't be the only one. Of course...]

Yeah. [He lets go of Guy and nods.] I was going to ask around on the network for help. I'll remind everyone that it's dangerous, but they don't need to know about... my fonons separating.

[Guy sighs and lets Luke go, stepping back to resume his seat in his chair, looking at Luke with a slightly frustrated expression.]

Well, we can make a plan when we know who's coming I guess. [He taps the edge of his chair with his fingers, thinking about what they might need to bring just for basic survival. The usual traveling gear, food, medical supplies... The list is already forming in his head--the most efficient use of space, how much to bring of each item, what's absolutely necessary, what isn't. They're used to traveling, so it's not hard to itemize, but then again situations in Auldrant can be somewhat expected, planned for, in comparison to the great unknown that is beyond the barrier.]

You don't have to tell people about yourself if you don't want to, but if it's bugging you... You know you can talk to me. It's better to have someone to share it with, right?

Besides, if you try to hold it in again I really will get pissed.

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CLOSED ♪ unfinished ♪ just say you're sorry

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