tampered | closed; why a man cannot have wings

closed; why a man cannot have wings

When; 11 Dec, evening
Rating; G
Characters; Rose (

iam_thebadwolf) and the Doctor (

astorminhiswake)
Summary; The Doctor (with the ears) just found out that Rose is dating the Doctor (with the hair). There are feelings about this.
Log;

The Doctor fished in his pocket for the housekey (coming up with a banana, 3 different lengths of wire, and the sonic screwdriver first, but he found it eventually). It was late. He was bad at moving through time like a normal person did, and rarely paid attention to it unless he had to. Just one more thing to dislike about this City. All of the structure chafed at him.

The snow on his head had mostly melted, but he brushed it off his coat. He thought about taking it off, but he liked the coat, and although he'd be loathe to admit it, it was something like armor for him, protection from the outside world. A completely mental distinction, as it wouldn't keep him safe from bullets or knives or anything like that, but he felt better in it. So it stayed.

It was late, and he didn't even know if Rose would still be awake. But he'd come back like he'd promised. The walk had done him some good, given him time to get his thoughts together. He was still restless, but he felt a little better. He wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't haul off and punch his future self, next time he saw him, but that didn't seem to be a possibility at the moment. Rose had probably warned him.

The Doctor shut the door quietly, kicking the snow off his boots, and made his way to the kitchen. He could use a cup of tea.

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Rose had definitely warned him and he's probably in one of the rooms with the door shut, tinkering with something. Rose is curled up in the hammock bed, mostly asleep with only the Christmas lights on the tree and strung about the flat on. Most of her evening was spent there, sulking, worrying and trying to come up with a solution for a problem she didn't know all the parameters of. Exhaustion had finally worn out but even in her sleep she was on edge. She wakes up when the Doctor comes in, taking a moment to wake up before she slides out of the hammock and pads barefoot into the kitchen behind him.

"Good walk?" she says it in a hushed voice with a certain amount of trepidation. She's trying to feel him out. His opinion matters to her and she can't change that no matter how strongly she feels about the other Doctor.

"Bit cold, but yeah," he says, looking back over his shoulder. "Do you want a cuppa?" He's being casual again, but it is a sincere offer. Just as easy to make tea for two as it is for one.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," he continues, and he is sincerely sorry for that. There's no need to have this conversation with her half-asleep. He could go walk around until morning. He wasn't feeling much like sleep.

She wouldn't have slept well anyway, too worried about him and this conversation to get any real sleep. She nods a bit. "Yeah, please."

She shakes her head and leans one hip against the counter. "S'alright. Wasn't sleepin' very well anyway."

He starts the kettle and turns back around to face her, crossing his arms.

"Is this why you think the City is brilliant?" he asks bluntly. "Because of -- him?"

It's weird to separate himself from his future self like this, but English doesn't have all the necessary pronouns, and he wants to make the distinction clear. (Something else to miss about Gallifrey -- someone who understands what he's saying, really understands it, all the time, without translation. Not that he got along with his countrymen, most of the time, but the language -- there are so many words that only he knows, now. And the TARDIS, at least there's that.)

He doesn't want to think the worst of everyone, not exactly. It's just that he thinks the worst of himself sometimes and it follows from there. Rose is, after all, only human.

The blunt question takes her a bit by surprise so she takes her time answering it, nodding after a moment.

"Yeah." She considers adding the TARDIS is here and human, Donna is here and I've got brilliant friends but the truth is if none of those things were true, she'd still think the City was brilliant because of -him-.

"I lost him in my timeline. Or--I got lost. Accidentally sealed up in a parallel universe. Eventually I figured out how to find him, how to get back. It took two years though and I'd literally just found him when I got pulled here."

She feels she owes the Doctor an explanation of some sort. "We weren't--before I got pulled here we were just mates."

"Should have taken you back home after that first trip," the Doctor says, and his tone is sad. He gestures widely with one arm. "You shouldn't have had to chase me all about creation. Should have a life of your own 'stead of following me around, getting caught up in all kinds of danger. It was only a matter of time 'til I lost you."

He shakes his head, tucking his hand back into the crook of his elbow. He's just not... sure. He knew Rose cared for him (both of him that he knew, and probably she'd be fond of any of his regenerations, given time), but being here, confronted with the depth of it, bothered him. He's the Doctor, broken veteran and lone survivor of the Time War. Not exactly dependable... never has been. And people keep getting pulled into his wake, getting hurt, and now he's hurt Rose. Or will hurt Rose, but it's all the same as far as he's concerned. Once again, he's failed to do right, and that aches. It's been a while since he's had someone he really didn't want to disappoint.

"No!" It flies out of her mouth immediately. "I have a life of my own and I love it. I loved my life with you. I loved travelin' with you, loved everythin' about it. Before you, I was just a shop girl and you made me extraordinary. Findin' you again wasn't just about you. It was about me and who I am when I'm with you. Don't you dare try to take that away from me."

While he's closing off during this conversation, she's becoming more incensed. She even takes a step toward him, finger pointed in his direction. She's got her jaw squared and her back up.

He puts his hands up defensively, in that "I surrender" position that just really means "I'm going to fight harder."

"Don't you wave your finger at me, Rose Tyler! You were extraordinary before. Don't you even doubt it. Wouldn't have taken you with me otherwise. You don't need me to be fantastic. You crossed universes to find me, you say."

And he pauses there, almost surprised. She'd gotten out of a sealed parallel universe -- and he can't even imagine how she had, the word "sealed" was not applied lightly. Rose had done that. And here he is treating her like a child.

It'd be easier to say that than to admit he'd given in to his loneliness so thoroughly. But then again, knowing what he knows, how could anyone not be a little in love with Rose Tyler? He loves her, not in any romantic sense, but he knows she's made him better. She is his best friend. What right does he have to argue with Rose, and with his future self? Maybe his tenth incarnation drives him a little crazy, but they aren't meant to meet. They aren't meant to please each other. They have different wants and needs.

He wants to protect her from himself, but she doesn't want that. Maybe that's it, in the end.

So he shakes his head.

"You crossed universes and here I am treating you like a child. Like you don't know your own mind.

"...I'm sorry."

She crosses her arms over her chest listening to him until he gets to that pause of surprise and then she softens a bit, meeting his surprise with some wariness of her own.

Rose did that with a good deal of help but yes. In her mind she had no choice. She'd had to get back to him. He needed someone to hold his hand and she wanted to be that person. She's not sure if it helps or hurts but she knows on some level that he's going to hurt her, even if she hopes and talks about and dreams of a life that will be different when they get out of here. Underneath all of that, she knows she will be left and she knows it will hurt so much more than it did before. She knows all of this and she's decided that some things (and people) are worth all of the pain they will cause later.

She gives him a sympathetic smile at his apology and shakes her head. "You're just lookin' after me. Wouldn't want that to change." She hesitates a bit, nibbling at her bottom lip.

"Still get to hug you, yeah?"

In response, he spreads his arms wide. "Get over here, you. It's just always so difficult when your babies grow up." He's kidding again. Some more of that tension he always carries around with him has gone away.

She smirks a bit at his comment but fairly flies into his arms, hers wrapping around him in a tight hug. "How you think I felt? Mine got a different face and everythin'."

She says it in a teasing tone of voice, incredibly relieved that this is relatively okay. At the very least, things between them don't have to change. How he deals with it with himself is an entirely different thing but she'll deal with that when the need arises.

"Hey now," he says good-naturedly, hugging her back. "Don't blame you for missing mine. It's a good face."

He's glad they had this talk, even if it was difficult. He owed it to her. He should probably have a talk with his other self too, although he isn't half as inclined to forgive him. But that's for later, and he isn't going to bring it up now. Rose needs her sleep.

She pulls back and smiles up at him then nods. "Yeah. It is."

And then she pauses, feeling like it's a tiny bit of a betrayal to the other Doctor but really it might help this one deal a bit. "You know I asked him if he could change back at first. He asked if I wanted him to and I said yes."

He laughs, a bit of warmth spreading through him. Oh, Rose. She absolutely would do something like that. He's touched.

"I should have explained it to you beforehand. I forgot how jolting it is to humans," he answers, smiling at her fondly.

Good. That was the reaction she was hoping for.

She shrugs a bit at his apology. "Weren't somethin' you were plannin' on I imagine. Runnin' into a fleet of Daleks shouldn't happen that often."

And yet it does with him and her time and again.

"A fleet of Daleks? A fleet?"

Sure, he knows that the one survived, the one that they fought in Utah, and that was bad enough, that even one Dalek lived through the violent end he'd given Time Lords and Daleks alike. How could there possibly have been another fleet? They were dead. He'd given so much to be sure, and his horror is stark on his face.

She winces, realizing she shouldn't have told him that but really she's not used to knowing more than him. "Turned out all right. Me and Jack were both safe. Wiped the whole fleet out."

She remembers bits of her time as Bad Wolf now. It's all fuzzy and makes her head hurt a bit if she concentrates too hard on it but she knows the highlights and she remembers half-watery images of bits of the timelines.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to--not used to knowin' more than you." She sounds sincere because she is. She hates that look on his face.

He sighs and says nothing for a moment. He's not particularly upset about knowing the future -- well, it's not very good for him, but he can always erase that part of his memory later -- but the idea of more Daleks...

Rose and Jack will be safe. That is very, very good to know. That makes the whole thing more bearable. Just.

"The most persistent vermin in the universe," he says finally, with an undercurrent of the powerful anger that had him facing down the lone Dalek, gun in hand. But he pushes the feeling down and away. No point in being angry in Rose's direction. He doesn't want her to take it personally. He doesn't want to scare her again, like he did last time.

"'S all right. I'd find out sooner or later, with all the different timelines represented here. Going to have to do a good job with my memory later to avoid paradox," he says, shaking his head.

She recognizes that anger. She spent a long time trying to help him deal with it. She was never scared enough to leave him, if that's any comfort and she's stronger now than she was then. She's something and someone he's never seen. Not yet anyway.

"Guess I forgot to tell you 'bout that. City does it for you. 'Least they say it does and..." She bites her bottom lip because she does not like this fact. She knows memories make it painful but she'd rather have them then not. "When I went back home for...fifteen minutes...I didn't remember this place. Not at all. Not 'til I got back here. When you leave, you won't remember anythin' that happened here. Not unless you can find a way to get 'round that and hold onto it."

She bites her bottom lip, watching him carefully. "'Least there won't be a paradox."

He lifts his eyebrows in surprise. "Is that so? Maybe the people in charge of this place aren't as incompetent as I've been assuming."

He reconsiders. "Not quite, anyway. Doesn't give them a free pass, but still good to know." He still doesn't have a high opinion of them, though, which is to be expected. And that did explain a little about how so many people could be here without time and space fallig down around their ears, so to speak.

(No wonder she doesn't want to go home, if she won't remember it. Yes, he realizes this.)

"Might be somethin' you remember better with more time but that's not really how memory works, is it?" Maybe this is how she wants the memories to work. Okay so it's definitely how she wants the memories to work.

"Still doesn't make sense, why they'd want to pull us here then send some of us home without any memory. Glitch? Maybe they didn't mean to send us home? M'not sure how that works."

Oh Doctor. If she knew he realized this, she would hug him. Again. And just hold on out of gratitude that he gets it.

"No, 's really the only sensible way to handle it. People here don't age either, I bet, not physically." He doesn't wait for an answer. "So whenever they get bored with you, or accomplish what they like, or whatever it is, they can just toss you right back into your timeline where you left, and no repercussions." He pauses.

"Used to be repercussions. Used to be you couldn't play games with people, not like this." Back when there were Time Lords to keep watch. He's only one man, no matter how many regenerations he has, and he can't keep watch on the whole vortex. He spends enough time getting in and out of trouble as it is. He shoves his hands in his pockets again.

"Weakens the fabric of time a bit, but probably not enough for the reapers to come calling. Yet." His gaze is icy, elsewhere, as he thinks. "Maybe that clock is countin' down to the end of worlds. Countin' down until this little playground breaks down, and what's outside gets in."

He paces a bit, thinking. "Still don't understand why, though. It's not a bad life here, not for most humans or intelligent species. They could make it a real prison, bars and all. But they just let life go on. It's like a soap. Maybe that is what it is. Add in some curses for entertainment value."

That makes her furrow her brow and consider it. "Don't know. Haven't noticed or asked." Well if they don't age here, all the more reason for Rose to not want to leave. One of her major concerns when Ten tells her she can stay forever with him is that her forever really is only at the most sixty or so years, not to mention that she'll spend at least forty of those with people thinking she's his mother rather than his girlfriend. "Ought to do some askin' 'bout it though."

She notices the icy gaze and reaches out to take his hand, her fingers threading with his. It's important when he goes elsewhere that he know he's not alone here. "Maybe by bringin' people here, it buys 'em more time? We power this place somehow. Givin' us a decent sorta life is their way of...apologizin'?"

He smiles at her and squeezes her hand.

"You're always looking for a bright side," he says. He appreciates it, even when she's ridiculously optimistic. It helps balance him.

"But," he continued, "your decent sor' of life includes a paycheck, I think, and you're going to be half-asleep if you have to work tomorrow. Off to bed with you."

She nods a bit at that. "It's a store called Passione. You can come by and see me anytime."

Cinna is beyond used to the other Doctor being there rearranging things, following Rose around and 'helping' in general. Another one won't likely raise any flags on Cinna's radar. She hugs him again and whispers Thank you, squeezing him tight before she lets go. She knows he didn't have to accept this so easily. She'd been afraid he wouldn't and she's grateful that he did, at least on the surface and enough for things to be okay between the two of them.

"Good night and if you want to lay down there's the hammock or the other room. There is a bed in there and it's been cleaned out."

"Might. I'll try not to blow this one up, even."

He's not sure how to react to her thanks so compromises by hugging her firmly back. That should be enough.

"Me, sleep? The night's still young!" He pauses. "Thanks, though, good to know." He smiles back.

"Think Cinna'd appreciate that." She laughs when she says it though. The return hug is plenty and she pulls away with a smile.

"Welcome. G'night."

She starts out of the kitchen, glancing over her shoulder at him before she heads on into her room.

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closed; why a man cannot have wings

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