[ He ushers his emotions forward when Spock considers how he doesn't love, that Marcus ought to die in the moment he betrayed them - I'm here, Jim thinks, the futility of the situation hinging in the darkness of his mind where he goes sometimes. It's okay that you're totally wrong about not feeling anything. I won't tell anyone.
Warm pleasure swarms back on a tidal wave of amusement when Spock approves of their abstract home, and invasive happiness bouncing to the surface of Jim's thoughts like inverted raindrops on a pool, disturbing the calm to fleck outward and ruin the peace. It's shocking how quickly that joy translates into a wounded longing when the Enterprise rears up, automatically craning to see (sense?) Spock at the science station, his right hand. Jim is happy but broiling with regret that he hasn't found a way to take them there yet, bittersweet and guilt-ridden. Just as fierce is his determination to do it and not to leave a soul behind. Like when Spock left here and it wasn't his fault but it hurt. Jim doesn't blame him. He never did.
You can't leave me.
It's a gutting concept, but it's not like Spock would broadcast that. Spock keeps his confidence. ]
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Warm pleasure swarms back on a tidal wave of amusement when Spock approves of their abstract home, and invasive happiness bouncing to the surface of Jim's thoughts like inverted raindrops on a pool, disturbing the calm to fleck outward and ruin the peace. It's shocking how quickly that joy translates into a wounded longing when the Enterprise rears up, automatically craning to see (sense?) Spock at the science station, his right hand. Jim is happy but broiling with regret that he hasn't found a way to take them there yet, bittersweet and guilt-ridden. Just as fierce is his determination to do it and not to leave a soul behind. Like when Spock left here and it wasn't his fault but it hurt. Jim doesn't blame him. He never did.
You can't leave me.
It's a gutting concept, but it's not like Spock would broadcast that. Spock keeps his confidence. ]