[You are very strange, he teases. Only Nyota had liked both sides of him. He hadn't wanted for friends - he couldn't miss what he'd never understood, could he? A sliver of regret bubbles in him and he decides immediately he dislikes it.]
[And all of it disappears, crushed under the weight of Jim's grief. Instinctively he stretches out a hand (knowing what it costs, Vulcans are not tactile), and his palm hits glass.]
[they are gone]
[Glass. He stares. The funeral never should've happened, none of the crew should've been lost. Spock hears a distant echo, inquiring about the psychological evaluations, and the words post traumatic stress and survivor's guilt are frequently mentioned but nothing comes of them. All he has is the proof in Jim's mind; that Jim won't share easily, and neither will Spock.]
[Black and grey fades to white, and blue. San Francisco. The air is clean, sharp, Jim's waking up from his coma. There's a word, drifting on the wind, but it remains unsaid, unacknowledged. A weak, flickering flame, which goes out, it's not fully here, not yet. Spock stays there, with McCoy. In real time, he does cry, they're Jim's tears.]
[He loved you, Spock says, after a while. I have preserved that, and he wished for you to know.]
no subject
[And all of it disappears, crushed under the weight of Jim's grief. Instinctively he stretches out a hand (knowing what it costs, Vulcans are not tactile), and his palm hits glass.]
[they are gone]
[Glass. He stares. The funeral never should've happened, none of the crew should've been lost. Spock hears a distant echo, inquiring about the psychological evaluations, and the words post traumatic stress and survivor's guilt are frequently mentioned but nothing comes of them. All he has is the proof in Jim's mind; that Jim won't share easily, and neither will Spock.]
[Black and grey fades to white, and blue. San Francisco. The air is clean, sharp, Jim's waking up from his coma. There's a word, drifting on the wind, but it remains unsaid, unacknowledged. A weak, flickering flame, which goes out, it's not fully here, not yet. Spock stays there, with McCoy. In real time, he does cry, they're Jim's tears.]
[He loved you, Spock says, after a while. I have preserved that, and he wished for you to know.]