tampered | Log; Ongoing

Log; Ongoing

When; January 1
Rating; PG?
Characters; Subaru

kawaii_hokuto
Summary; Sisters are the smart ones, yes they are.
Log;

Subaru might've supposed it wasn't a good idea to drink anything, though when it had been his friend's suggestion he hadn't seen much harm in it.

From the way things looked, he'd been quite mistaken in that assumption. Not just the way things looked but when he remembered. And he couldn't believe his actions for a long while, trying to take stock of himself and the situation at hand... As well as the fact that he was alone.

It was a while before he noticed the note left for him, still attempting to sort out what he was supposed to do. And of course attempting to remain somewhat stable through the worst migraine he could imagine along with all the thoughts clashing in his mind.

Why had he...?

And then the note. That was enough to break whatever odd external serenity he'd composed for himself, beyond the point of trying to remain calm and think rationally. The whole situation was beyond rationality. What was he supposed to do? And why...

He wasn't going to get answers from himself, he knew that. No matter how much he tried it wasn't going to work. And now his friend was gone and he was certain that was his fault.

Yet he didn't know what to do. It was defeating, especially looking at those words on paper. He couldn't change what had happened but he wished he could. He'd caused so much trouble for others. And not being able to do anything to make up for it was even worse.

It was with an air of resignation that he managed to get himself cleaned up and dressed properly. That was something necessary, even if he was feeling rather detached about it, but if he was to see another person he wasn't going to in the state he'd woken in. While he didn't feel entirely composed he thought he was at least somewhat better by the time he crossed the hall to knock on the door to the apartment Hokuto now occupied by herself.

There were a lot of things she understood better than him, and though he didn't want to trouble her more than he already did, Subaru wasn't sure what else he might do. This situation was so far distant from anything he deemed normal.

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For the time being, Hokuto had been indulging herself in the pleasures of American soap operas. It was strange, but for some reason, the ticking seemed to be less noisy when she had the TV on to watch Days of Our Lives. It was good enough for her - the pageantry of human emotion and scandal was enough for her entertainment. And some of the guys were quite cute.

"Awwwww~!" She had always loved the parts where there seemed to be a happy ending, after all. Watching the two lovers kiss was enough to make her hug a nearby pillow and smile brightly. True love DID conquer all, it seemed. But just as the love confessions were pouring out, she heard a knock on the door. Sometimes, the smallest of things pulled her out from her semi-daydreams; and she knew it somehow.

"Subaru-chan! That's you, isn't it?" she called as she bounced up from the sofa and approached the door. Really, she didn't have to ask. The timid succession was so signature of her brother that anyone could tell (or, at least, she believed so). And she wasn't surprised, either; he and Kamui were certain to have some issues to resolve.

Like the guiding star she was, she'd be there for anyone who needed her.

It came as little surprise that his sister would recognize even so much as a knock on her door. She was rather insightful in a number of ways and she understood him better than anyone else would. Perhaps better than he could understand himself, given the circumstances.

Though, perhaps most wouldn't have recognized such a detail to the point of identifying an individual before opening said door. This being Hokuto, Subaru didn't think any standard could ever be applied. Even knowing that he'd jumped a little. Perhaps he was just feeling that off. "Y-yes... It's me."

Ugh. Tone. He could've done better than that for his twin. A shame he didn't feel like doing much of anything, which made it that much harder on him. Still, he never wanted to greet his sister sounding as though being around her could be anything but pleasant. Having her around was a good thing, always.

As soon as he called to her through the door, she knew something was wrong. The tone he used was enough of a tip-off. Subaru hadn't ever been one to hide his emotions, after all (even though the older version of him in this City certainly tried, it seemed). Though, then again, he was her brother - of course she'd know by now.

Pausing a moment, she then approached the door and opened it. Sure enough, Subaru stood there, and he looked miserable. The first thing she thought to do was take him into a quick embrace and hug him. "Subaru! Tell me what's wrong!" she cried to him, instantly trying to read the emotions on his face. She had a feeling that it had something to do with Subaru's confusion. It never did strike her as strange that he could read other people's emotions so well, even though never could understand his own.

Subaru shouldn't have been caught off-guard when he was hugged, but he stumbled a little regardless. The more he thought about it the more he felt that his behavior wasn't right. And he didn't like to be the cause of worry, though it seemed he did it quite often of late.

Regaining himself as best he might, he tried to return his sister's hug. It was a weak effort but he wasn't finding anything better in his capacity. "I...w-well..." What was he supposed to say, save that he was some fantastic moron? That was the only thing coming to his mind, and he knew that wasn't a sufficient answer. It might've been a good idea to have thought ahead about what he was going to say.

Okay, so she had caught him off-guard. That wasn't anything new. But Hokuto could sniff out hesitation in a matter of nanoseconds. Subaru wasn't telling her up-front just what was happening, and perhaps because even he didn't know. But she would manage somehow to make him feel more at ease.

She pulled him into the apartment and shut the door with a swift kick while she guided her brother to the sofa. "Now, what happened, Subaru? Is something wrong?" she asked as she fluffed some pillows for him before pushing him down into the cushions. If he wouldn't take care of himself, she'd have to.

He knew that his sister was going to deal with things directly, but it didn't make it any harder for Subaru to put it to words. The situation still wasn't entirely clear to him and he wasn't in any condition to sort it all out on his own. Whatever he was supposed to say, he wasn't coming up with the words.

After a few moments he removed the note from his pocket, holding it out for Hokuto to take. While she read that he'd try to sort out the events of the night previous. Things he still wasn't understanding, but hating himself for.

She took the note from Subaru's hand with an eager snatch and opened it. Was he so speechless now that he couldn't communicate through any other method? But as soon as she opened it and saw the messy script, she knew whose writing it was. Kamui was notoriously sloppy, but even this writing seemed to break the record... It almost looked as though a shaky hand had formed the characters on the paper.

"Subaru...." Now she understood. It would be best if I disappeared... Hokuto sighed sympathetically as she brought Subaru in for another hug. "I'm sorry, Subaru..." That was all she knew to say for the time being as she let the letter float from her hands to the floor.

He didn't feel that Hokuto should be saying sorry, even if it was an expression of sympathy. Although it may have been selfish he did appreciate simply having his sister there with him. This situation wasn't something he knew anything about, and his twin was only aware of part of it. The rest he'd have to explain himself. Even if it seemed impossible to say just how much he'd messed up.

Subaru took a deep breath, found it didn't help, sighed. That didn't help either. "It... It's all my fault." Everything was somehow his fault but this was so much worse.

"How is it your fault, Subaru?" Hokuto pulled Subaru in for a closer hug and rested her chin on his shoulder. She wasn't pointing any fingers here with this mess - like that would solve any problems. But she knew Subaru was stubborn... as was she.

Finally, she pulled back slowly to look right at him. Usually, she found that a good solid stare would help bring things out into the open. "Now, you should tell me what led up to this, Subaru. Only then can we fix this, okay?" Even though her voice was firm, she remained gentle in her speech, and her hands betrayed her as they smoothed over his messy hair. She knew he was confused, but he knew more than he thought he did.

Being stared at was almost unsettling, but that was to be expected with so much guilt directed at himself. Subaru didn't want to be seen when he felt he'd done something horrible. Although he hadn't all that much mental clarity he could look back on it now and wouldn't allow for the excuse that he'd been drunk and had never been in such a situation before.

It was still going to be his fault. His gaze dropped as he tried to come up with words, feeling worse the more he reviewed it in an attempt to explain. "Well you see... on New Year's..." Subaru's shoulders slumped anew, wishing he didn't have to say these things. "We...ended up drunk. And did some...things... So I... I think that's why."

Clearly he failed at recapping that one entirely, but for Subaru it was near impossible to get specific on the matter. At least it felt that way.

Hokuto blinked a moment, looking at her brother with a puzzled look. "Well, why would that happen after you did- ...." But she didn't know exactly what had happened, although the gist was good enough. It was perhaps all that she could get from Subaru, anyhow. For a moment, she frowned and looked off to the side. So they had done something and then Kamui left. Something had to have been wrong...

However, she was beginning to piece it all together. Kamui had a history of being a little fatalistic (a little, though, was an understatement); maybe he was.... Oh. Oh. Now she had an idea. "Subaru... do you think that maybe Kamui... well, he seems the type to run when he thinks he's hurting others...," she mumbled, biting her lip a little. "Maybe that's it, but... how stupid!"

Subaru hadn't looked at the situation from any other perspective than what he assumed was his obvious fault. Sure he wasn't thinking all that clearly but in his present state there wasn't much hope of him having any other mindset. Not only was he inclined to that kind of self-directed blame but on top of that he'd a headache from hell and was in a situation he didn't understand.

Seemed he had all the luck, of late. Causing everyone else so much inconvenience.

"I...don't know..." Subaru would've liked to understand why it was that Kamui had decided it was better for him to vanish, but he didn't. Hokuto seemed to have made some sense out of it but he wasn't making any ready connections.

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Log; Ongoing

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