http://rankyaku_raffe.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
rankyaku-raffe.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tampered2007-01-07 01:58 pm
rankyaku-raffe.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-01-07 01:58 pm
(no subject)
When; January 7th, early in the morning (shh I didn't wake up early enough)
Rating; PG, for INTENSE, HORRIBLE LIES
Characters; Kaku (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rankyaku_raffe) and Isane (fishcake_dreams)
Summary; Kaku's lie has been found out, but his greatest performance is yet to begin
Log;
Isane had managed to compose herself. To calm herself. To steady herself in preparation for what she knew was going to be a difficult conversation. He'd lied to her. Lied to her. And all she could think about was the comparison. Kaku, smiling, laughing, making her blush. Then lying. Lying with that sweet face, hoping she would believe him, lying... about everything. And that drew her to Aizen Sousuke... lying to them all. Deceiving them all with a smile even as he stabbed Momo, tried to kill Hitsugaya-taichou. Hurt them all. And the comparison hurt her almost as badly. She had told the man where she lived, was waiting for him. And she still had hesitations. ... Could she? Did she? ... She would have to find out.
Kaku approached the door to Isane's apartment. He was an excellent liar, but forces had been working against him... Certain people were just a little too nosy. The redhead was far from worried, however. He usually dealt with these issues simply by killing whoever found him out... but one can't kill that wish is already dead. He'd figured out a solution to this; it was all too simple. He got into this with a lie, he could get out of it just as easily. He raise his fist to knock on the door, taking a breath. This would be his finest performance since... Since the Water 7 mission.
Isane almost jumped at the sound of the knock, though she'd been anticipating it. Calming herself, she went to the door and opened it, shoving all thoughts of his previous behavior behind. He was a murderer. A hit man. ... A liar. She'd been alright with meeting today, because Unohana-taichou was out, checking on Shizune's pregnancy. She didn't need to be involved in this. "... Kaku. Come in." She said, opening the door and motioning for him to enter, voice steady and level.
"Hello Isane~" Kaku sang, pretending he had not the slightest idea what Isane wanted to talk to him about. He step into the apartment, eyes locking on her after a brief glance around his surroundings. "What is it you needed to talk to me about?" He asked, his voice soft and concerned.
Isane shut her eyes as she closed the door. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe he wouldn't know, or would have the gall to pretend as if he was oblivious. Jyabura had spoken to her. Robin. Luffy. Zoro. ... She knew. "You lied to me." Her voice was equally soft, but cold, as she turned to face him, back to the door. "We need to talk about your lies, Kaku." But there was hurt too, in her voice, arms straight at her side and gaze level.
Kaku close his eyes. Show time. "...You found me out, hn..." He said, his voice soft. He turn away from her. "I... was hoping that you wouldn't... but please... Please, hear me out. Let me tell you why I felt I had to lie..." he said, looking to her, giving her a most apologetic look. "It wasn't to hurt you, Isane... Please, that was the last thing I wanted to do..."
Her gaze wavered. That face... it looked so sincere. And... she'd promised herself she would hear him out. That she'd listen to his reasons, to his motives, his side of the story. It wasn't fair for her to pass a final judgment without hearing that. "... Tell me, then." She tried to keep her voice hard, impassive, but... she was a soft-hearted woman. A healer, more than she was a fighter, despite the sword at her hip. "Tell me."
"It's just... I know Jyabura just set us up together as a joke... but I found myself really, really liking you, Isane... I really want to get to know you more..." he said, gazing at the woman. "Look at it from my view, for a moment... In my world, I was a terrible person. I did awful things, and do believe me... I questioned my actions, wondering if what I did was right... I questioned them a lot. However, here... This place, it's not my world. It's somewhere that I could forget about all the terrible things I did. I could create a new person out of myself, create a better person... Let myself live the way I wished I could... as a decent person. I felt I had to lie to you... because I wanted you to think of me as the person I want to become, not the person I was..." He blinked back a few tears, as he keep his gaze on hers. "I know lying wasn't the right thing... but I thought that was the only way. After all...Who could love a murderer?"
... Isane ended up averting her gaze. Was he telling the truth? Was he lying? ... She'd never been particularly good either way at discerning truths and untruths, and she wasn't able to now, either, unable to tell, torn, confused. Were those... tears? Was he... "Why'd you do all those horrible things, then, in your world?" She asked, unable to meet his gaze fully, unable to move from her spot, to even breathe loudly, for fear something might snap. She needed to keep talking, keep trying to understand, to puzzle out what she felt, if she felt he was lying again... or telling the truth.
"I was an orphan, the government took me in. The government was my home, my work and my family all in one. I would never question or disobey them. Disobeying an order... it would be like turning on your family. The horrible things I did, I knew they were bad... but I did them regardless, because no matter what, one never turns on their family. I would be unable to live with the guilt of betraying the people who selflessly took me in, raised me, gave me a home, a job, gave me that feeling that I was loved and belonged somewhere. Do you know what I mean, what I'm trying to say? Members of my family are in this world, and I still see them as my family... but the rest of my life, that doesn't have to be here. That life doesn't have to be mine anymore. I can lead that simple life I always wanted to... I should never have lied," he said, raising a hand to his face, closing his eyes. He press his thumb and index finger against his tear ducts. "I'm sorry, Isane.... I can't stress that enough... I can, however, understand if you'd rather not see me again..."
That... that did sound reasonable. ... If he was lying it was a very well-thought out one. It made sense. She knew how such circumstances could affect someone. She supposed if she had never known any family of her own, if she had been raised to follow orders... she would have trouble disobeying them, acting independently. ... It made sense, and she wanted to believe it. She did, but... "What do you hope to do here?" She asked, her resolve slowly being worn away, evident in the slump that had come to her once rigid shoulders, in that her hands were beginning to fidget, not stay in fists at her side.
"I want to be a good person. I want... I want to break free of orders, I want to live my life the way I want. A real job; a decent job... a honest man's job... My own apartment... These things seem so mundane to most people, but they're extraordinary to me. I want my past to be forgotten, I just want to be an honest, hard-working man... That is just the greatest thing I can imagine. I guess I'm just rambling now..." he sigh.
"Like you were in Galley-La?" Isane kept trying to meet his gaze, but kept finding herself unable to do so. He... he looked like a nice man. He acted like a nice man. But was he? Was he only deceiving her? She didn't know what sort of ends he could use her to obtain, but there could always be something. He was so new to the City... could he already have a plan, already have a mission, a motive unbeknownst to her, that involved her? She didn't know.
Kaku nodded slowly. "Those five years... were the most amazing years of my life. I want that life once again. I never wanted that mission to end. I lived there, I grew there, I loved there... and then I had to leave it all behind, as if it meant nothing to me. I'm not asking you to forgive me for lying; I'm not asking for you to even speak to me again... I just want you to at least understand all of it... Understand what made me feel I had to lie..."
Isane's bottom lip quivered slightly and she turned around, shoulders slumped and facing the door, closing her eyes as if doing so would make this go away, make it easier, do something. "... Tell me your not lying." She whispered, voice wavering. "Come over here and tell me you aren't lying to me right now."
Rokushiki Koinu: Kaku stepped over to the woman, slowly bringing his arms around her, almost shyly. "I'm not lying.... not this time..."
Isane's eyes remained closed, lip trembling. She wanted to believe him. Badly. Not just because she’d had a nice time with him, thought perhaps in time she could like him, become friends, maybe even something else, who knew, but because she didn't want to be afraid all her life of betrayal after Aizen Sousuke had betrayed her, betrayed everything and everyone she cared about. "... Promise?" One hand had left her side, fingers curling around his sleeve, clutching almost desperately.
Kaku brought her in closer, giving her a light, reassuring squeeze. His lips by her ear, he whisper softly, "I promise."
Isane let out a small sigh, breath she had been holding in, a baited breath. Her clutch tightened on his sleeve, a slight shudder passing through her body at the closeness. It was... nervous, and she wanted to believe, she did, but still couldn't shake a slight nagging doubt in her mind. Was this... would she ever be able to shake it? "... I'll... I'm going to give you another chance." She finally murmured, not knowing if she would regret saying that or not.
Kaku rest his forehead against Isane's shoulder, "You won't regret it.... I promise you..." Kaku said quietly. "Thank you... Isane."
Isane's other hand moved to his hand, fingers slowly lacing in his. ... She hoped she didn't regret this, but even so... she wanted to take a chance. The shinigami had seen a few redemptions in her life. And death. After all, didn't she believe in Grimmjow Jaggerjack? "... I hope I don't" Was all she could find to say.
Rating; PG, for INTENSE, HORRIBLE LIES
Characters; Kaku (
rankyaku_raffe) and Isane (fishcake_dreams)Summary; Kaku's lie has been found out, but his greatest performance is yet to begin
Log;
Isane had managed to compose herself. To calm herself. To steady herself in preparation for what she knew was going to be a difficult conversation. He'd lied to her. Lied to her. And all she could think about was the comparison. Kaku, smiling, laughing, making her blush. Then lying. Lying with that sweet face, hoping she would believe him, lying... about everything. And that drew her to Aizen Sousuke... lying to them all. Deceiving them all with a smile even as he stabbed Momo, tried to kill Hitsugaya-taichou. Hurt them all. And the comparison hurt her almost as badly. She had told the man where she lived, was waiting for him. And she still had hesitations. ... Could she? Did she? ... She would have to find out.
Kaku approached the door to Isane's apartment. He was an excellent liar, but forces had been working against him... Certain people were just a little too nosy. The redhead was far from worried, however. He usually dealt with these issues simply by killing whoever found him out... but one can't kill that wish is already dead. He'd figured out a solution to this; it was all too simple. He got into this with a lie, he could get out of it just as easily. He raise his fist to knock on the door, taking a breath. This would be his finest performance since... Since the Water 7 mission.
Isane almost jumped at the sound of the knock, though she'd been anticipating it. Calming herself, she went to the door and opened it, shoving all thoughts of his previous behavior behind. He was a murderer. A hit man. ... A liar. She'd been alright with meeting today, because Unohana-taichou was out, checking on Shizune's pregnancy. She didn't need to be involved in this. "... Kaku. Come in." She said, opening the door and motioning for him to enter, voice steady and level.
"Hello Isane~" Kaku sang, pretending he had not the slightest idea what Isane wanted to talk to him about. He step into the apartment, eyes locking on her after a brief glance around his surroundings. "What is it you needed to talk to me about?" He asked, his voice soft and concerned.
Isane shut her eyes as she closed the door. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe he wouldn't know, or would have the gall to pretend as if he was oblivious. Jyabura had spoken to her. Robin. Luffy. Zoro. ... She knew. "You lied to me." Her voice was equally soft, but cold, as she turned to face him, back to the door. "We need to talk about your lies, Kaku." But there was hurt too, in her voice, arms straight at her side and gaze level.
Kaku close his eyes. Show time. "...You found me out, hn..." He said, his voice soft. He turn away from her. "I... was hoping that you wouldn't... but please... Please, hear me out. Let me tell you why I felt I had to lie..." he said, looking to her, giving her a most apologetic look. "It wasn't to hurt you, Isane... Please, that was the last thing I wanted to do..."
Her gaze wavered. That face... it looked so sincere. And... she'd promised herself she would hear him out. That she'd listen to his reasons, to his motives, his side of the story. It wasn't fair for her to pass a final judgment without hearing that. "... Tell me, then." She tried to keep her voice hard, impassive, but... she was a soft-hearted woman. A healer, more than she was a fighter, despite the sword at her hip. "Tell me."
"It's just... I know Jyabura just set us up together as a joke... but I found myself really, really liking you, Isane... I really want to get to know you more..." he said, gazing at the woman. "Look at it from my view, for a moment... In my world, I was a terrible person. I did awful things, and do believe me... I questioned my actions, wondering if what I did was right... I questioned them a lot. However, here... This place, it's not my world. It's somewhere that I could forget about all the terrible things I did. I could create a new person out of myself, create a better person... Let myself live the way I wished I could... as a decent person. I felt I had to lie to you... because I wanted you to think of me as the person I want to become, not the person I was..." He blinked back a few tears, as he keep his gaze on hers. "I know lying wasn't the right thing... but I thought that was the only way. After all...Who could love a murderer?"
... Isane ended up averting her gaze. Was he telling the truth? Was he lying? ... She'd never been particularly good either way at discerning truths and untruths, and she wasn't able to now, either, unable to tell, torn, confused. Were those... tears? Was he... "Why'd you do all those horrible things, then, in your world?" She asked, unable to meet his gaze fully, unable to move from her spot, to even breathe loudly, for fear something might snap. She needed to keep talking, keep trying to understand, to puzzle out what she felt, if she felt he was lying again... or telling the truth.
"I was an orphan, the government took me in. The government was my home, my work and my family all in one. I would never question or disobey them. Disobeying an order... it would be like turning on your family. The horrible things I did, I knew they were bad... but I did them regardless, because no matter what, one never turns on their family. I would be unable to live with the guilt of betraying the people who selflessly took me in, raised me, gave me a home, a job, gave me that feeling that I was loved and belonged somewhere. Do you know what I mean, what I'm trying to say? Members of my family are in this world, and I still see them as my family... but the rest of my life, that doesn't have to be here. That life doesn't have to be mine anymore. I can lead that simple life I always wanted to... I should never have lied," he said, raising a hand to his face, closing his eyes. He press his thumb and index finger against his tear ducts. "I'm sorry, Isane.... I can't stress that enough... I can, however, understand if you'd rather not see me again..."
That... that did sound reasonable. ... If he was lying it was a very well-thought out one. It made sense. She knew how such circumstances could affect someone. She supposed if she had never known any family of her own, if she had been raised to follow orders... she would have trouble disobeying them, acting independently. ... It made sense, and she wanted to believe it. She did, but... "What do you hope to do here?" She asked, her resolve slowly being worn away, evident in the slump that had come to her once rigid shoulders, in that her hands were beginning to fidget, not stay in fists at her side.
"I want to be a good person. I want... I want to break free of orders, I want to live my life the way I want. A real job; a decent job... a honest man's job... My own apartment... These things seem so mundane to most people, but they're extraordinary to me. I want my past to be forgotten, I just want to be an honest, hard-working man... That is just the greatest thing I can imagine. I guess I'm just rambling now..." he sigh.
"Like you were in Galley-La?" Isane kept trying to meet his gaze, but kept finding herself unable to do so. He... he looked like a nice man. He acted like a nice man. But was he? Was he only deceiving her? She didn't know what sort of ends he could use her to obtain, but there could always be something. He was so new to the City... could he already have a plan, already have a mission, a motive unbeknownst to her, that involved her? She didn't know.
Kaku nodded slowly. "Those five years... were the most amazing years of my life. I want that life once again. I never wanted that mission to end. I lived there, I grew there, I loved there... and then I had to leave it all behind, as if it meant nothing to me. I'm not asking you to forgive me for lying; I'm not asking for you to even speak to me again... I just want you to at least understand all of it... Understand what made me feel I had to lie..."
Isane's bottom lip quivered slightly and she turned around, shoulders slumped and facing the door, closing her eyes as if doing so would make this go away, make it easier, do something. "... Tell me your not lying." She whispered, voice wavering. "Come over here and tell me you aren't lying to me right now."
Rokushiki Koinu: Kaku stepped over to the woman, slowly bringing his arms around her, almost shyly. "I'm not lying.... not this time..."
Isane's eyes remained closed, lip trembling. She wanted to believe him. Badly. Not just because she’d had a nice time with him, thought perhaps in time she could like him, become friends, maybe even something else, who knew, but because she didn't want to be afraid all her life of betrayal after Aizen Sousuke had betrayed her, betrayed everything and everyone she cared about. "... Promise?" One hand had left her side, fingers curling around his sleeve, clutching almost desperately.
Kaku brought her in closer, giving her a light, reassuring squeeze. His lips by her ear, he whisper softly, "I promise."
Isane let out a small sigh, breath she had been holding in, a baited breath. Her clutch tightened on his sleeve, a slight shudder passing through her body at the closeness. It was... nervous, and she wanted to believe, she did, but still couldn't shake a slight nagging doubt in her mind. Was this... would she ever be able to shake it? "... I'll... I'm going to give you another chance." She finally murmured, not knowing if she would regret saying that or not.
Kaku rest his forehead against Isane's shoulder, "You won't regret it.... I promise you..." Kaku said quietly. "Thank you... Isane."
Isane's other hand moved to his hand, fingers slowly lacing in his. ... She hoped she didn't regret this, but even so... she wanted to take a chance. The shinigami had seen a few redemptions in her life. And death. After all, didn't she believe in Grimmjow Jaggerjack? "... I hope I don't" Was all she could find to say.