Log; Complete

[mizrahigirl.livejournal.com]

When; January 5, afternoon.
Rating; G
Characters; Sakura Mizrahi [mizrahigirl] and Fakir [sword_and_quill]
Summary; Sakura goes to meet Fakir and the newly found Rashid.
Log;

Sakura glanced around her- she was nearly at the gardens.  Rubedo had walked her most of the way, after bundling her up in nearly all the cold weather clothes she could find.  She felt a little silly, with all the layers on, but it had seemed to keep Rubedo from worrying so much, so she'd agreed.  The brunette looked down at her coat- a Christmas present from a well intentioned person, trying to encourage her to go out.  Well, here she was, out.  Going to meet a horse.  It was almost silly...but it wasn't.  In fact, she was almost nervous- not because she hadn't been to the gardens before, but because she was going to meet someone.  A nice someone, but ...still.  

Her feet had carried her while she thought- There was Xanadu.  She stopped by the entrance, a gloved hand going up to the trunk of the tree she stood next to, looking for a boy and his horse.

The ex-knight had been waiting in Xanadu for awhile already, and had settled himself on a bench under the shade of a tree, quietly reading while his horse snacked on a bag of oats beside him.

Fakir wasn't a very social person by nature, so he'd surprised even himself by making an offer to Sakura to meet Rashid. But he knew she was a nice girl and he didn't think there'd be any problems. His horse was well-trained and tame, so he wasn't concerned about him acting up. Heck, Rashid was probably more docile toward girls, like Ahiru and Rue, than he even was to Fakir.

And secretly, he'd also thought it might be good for Sakura to get out a little more, in the same way it was good for him. Staying secluded and never associating with anyone but your closest companions left one awfully...limited in things like actually mingling and associating with people in general.

Sakura finally spotted him, sitting under a tree. The brunette glanced back the way she'd come, vaguely entertaining thoughts of turning tail and running back to the room, but such thoughts translated only into the glance backwards and a moment's hesitation before stepping forward towards the boy. His horse was there too, eating out of a bag that sat next to him. Sakura's hand trailed along beside her, ruffling the edges of plants and tracing the curve of the tree trunks, following her slow path over towards him.

The girl stopped a short distance away, unsure of what to say.

Fakir looked up at the sound of approaching feet, recognizing the brunette he'd spoken with over the journal system. His lips curved into a very slight smile as he closed the book and set it down beside him. She looked quite nervous and out-of-place, so he didn't want to chance scaring her. "Hello, Sakura," he greeted. "It's nice to finally meet you in person."

He then gestured to the dark brown horse with the light golden mane. "And this is my horse, Rashid. He's been waiting to meet you."

As if provoked to action by Fakir's words, the horse ceased eating and straightened, blinking back at the girl standing nearby.

Now really, this was ridiculous. Rubedo had said that Fakir was alright, she herself had thought he was nice, what was she doing all tense like this? Taking a deep breath, and another step forward, Sakura attempted a smile. "Hello." Her voice managed to do alright, soft as it normally was.

She looked up at the horse, who was blinking at her. You're right, she thought to the horse. I am being silly. She smiled again, this time much closer to a real smile. "And hello, Rashid." Sakura had never actually seen a horse before- but he looked friendly.

"He's beautiful." The brunette resisted the urge to raise her hand up to the horse, feeling sure that would be out of place, and contented herself with rubbing the hem of her coat with her hand.

Fakir almost, but couldn't quite keep the chuckle out of his voice. "He won't bite, you know. You can go ahead and stroke his mane, as long as you're gentle. He likes that."

The horse took a step closer to the girl,  intrigued and maybe a little too friendly toward strangers for a horse, really. Or perhaps, Rashid simply sensed no harm or malice from Sakura, and therefore didn't fear the human girl at all.

Sakura looked down at the ground, mildly embarrassed, but looked up at the sound of a hoof as the horse took as step forward, and tentatively raised a hand up to stretch toward the horse. The horse's mane was smooth under her hand, and she stroked the long hairs a few times, enthralled by the power and gentleness of the horse, so much larger than she was.

The laugh in Fakir's voice had untensed her a bit, for all she'd colored a bit. "I...didn't want to impose myself. Your horse is being kind to me, I think." She looked back down at the dark haired boy. As was he, she thought. That line of thought was no good at all. She turned back to face the horse, and traced a finger through the hairs of the mane.

"You're not imposing," Fakir clarified. "So don't worry." The ex-knight had really never seen a girl as timid as Sakura, before. Not that he'd honestly met a lot of people to begin with, but it actually increased his own nerves a little. He was good at dealing rudely with people who ticked him off, but he still turned awkward when he was talking to someone nice or sweet. And Sakura definitely fell under that catagory. The smile, which had faded slightly during his momentary contemplation, returned when she reached out to pet his horse. He could already tell Rashid was quite taken with her. It was kind of cute, in a way.

 "He is being kind," Fakir assured her immediately, his expression further softening as he watched the two interact. The horse pulled back his head a little, enjoying the girl's kind touch. "I think he rather likes you, actually."

"Does he?" Sakura's eyebrows drew up, surprised. She tilted her head slightly, looking the horse in the eye. "...I'm glad." Not for any reason in particular. Just the idea that she could make a friend- nevermind that it was a horse- so quickly, struck the girl. She disentangled her fingers from the mane of the horse, and stroked the horse's cheek once, surprised by the smoothness of the hair.

"I'm glad...you let me meet him." Sakura looked away from the brown and tan horse, to Fakir, who was sitting with an odd little smile on his face, then down at her feet.

"He does," Fakir agreed with a light nod. He paused for a moment, as if in thought, before parting his lips to speak again, "You know, maybe it's possible the reason he ran away in the first place was to meet more people. He had more visitors back home, and he might have missed that." Sadly, Fakir realized, his horse was probably more sociable than him. More likeable, too, he imagined.

"I was more than happy to. And Rashid was quite excited himself, it seemed. He was anxious to leave this afternoon, like he knew he was going to meet someone." Fakir walked forward a little and rested one hand against the base of the horse's neck. "Horses are smarter than people tend to think."

Sakura glanced up at him, remembering how concerned he'd sounded the night before when the horse had gone missing. "Mm... If he's like this for lots of people, I imagine he just likes the attention." Sakura rubbed the horse's neck, as if to apologize to him for saying so.

Sakura looked up at Fakir, puzzled. "Do people tend to not think they're intelligent? He seems quite attentive..." She trailed off, unsure of what exactly she was trying to convey about the horse.

"While I can't deny that he does like the attention, he's not this responsive with other people," Fakir stated matter-of-factly as he scratched gently behind Rashid's right ear. "He allows others to touch him freely, but this is different." As if to prove the young man's words, the horse leaned his head toward Sakura and nuzzled gently against her face. Fakir couldn't prevent another small chuckle from escaping him. "I think he agrees."

Facing back toward Sakura, the ex-knight blinked. "People tend not to try to understand animals in most cases," he explained. "They often seek to use them, instead of befriend them. It's rather upsetting, really. Horses, and many animals, for that matter, can make the best of companions." Smiling gently, he stroked Rashid's light tan mane. "He understands that I don't consider him my steed, and treat him as I would a good friend, instead."

Rashid's face-nuzzle had caught her a bit off guard, but the brunette smiled and stroked the brown haired cheek of the horse. He wasn't usually this responsive? That was odd. "I wonder why..." Fakir seemed to find it amusing though.

Fakir's explanation made sense, and the girl nodded. The struggle between being a tool and being a friend was one that Rubedo had had to go through and she understood that. But the idea that you could relegate something to being a mere tool was still strange to her. "I suppose...some people will always do that." Looking over at Fakir, Sakura watched him smile at his horse, evidence of the bond they shared. The brunette leaned her head slightly on the horse, a smile hovering at the edges of her lips as she watched him.

"He really does like you," Fakir assured her. "I'm a bit surprised, myself. I might have to prevent him from trying to follow you home." He chuckled again, catching himself after a moment and clearing his throat.

The ex-knight listened to her response about animals being used as tools, a frown seeping onto his features. "Unfortunately, that's very true. Humans are selfish by nature." He ran a tan hand through the horse's thick mane, glancing back at Sakura. He blinked in surprise at her small hint of a smile, his cheeks coloring slightly. For some reason, he could never get used to that. Fakir quickly looked away, moving his head just far enough to obscure his expression from view.

The frown that caught on his face sobered the girl momentarily. "We can always hope for the best in people." But as he ran his hand through his horse's mane, the half smile came back in time for her to catch his eye as he glanced at her and then away. Had she done - said- something she shouldn't have? Sakura stood up straight again, smile fading, and one hand coming up slighty, reaching towards the boy in concern. "Is...something wrong?"

Fakir nearly jumped when she reached out. "Ah, no, nothing!" he said quickly, one of his legs tying behind the other as he tried to take a step back and sending him offbalance. He fell down to the ground in a jumble of limbs, right atop his horse's half-eaten bag of oats. The previous spot of color on his cheeks had now inflamed his whole face red with embarrassment.

He sat immobile for a moment, disbelieving of what had just happened - he wasn't clumsy, that was Ahiru's department! Thoroughly humiliated, he looked up from his prone position, offering a small smile in apology as he brushed a few stray oats off of his pants. "I suppose you might believe me if I said I wasn't used to being sociable?" He was sure he must have startled her and he hoped she wasn't upset. "I didn't mean any offense, I was just..." he scratched behind his head nervously. "I don't know what I was thinking, really. I just reacted. Sorry."

Sakura watched in shock as Fakir jumped, tripped himself and fell over. Her hand still slightly extended, she stared at him, and then flushed herself, looking down, and mumbled "I'm sorry- I didn't mean to startle you." Hand dropping to her side, she looked back up, and the expression of total disbelief on the dark-haired boy's face, followed by his awkward speech caused her to realize the complete ridiculousness of the situation. Widened eyes and furrowed brows smoothed and the brunette smiled, and actually stifled a small laugh, to her own surprise. "It's alright." She looked again at Fakir, sitting awkwardly on the ground. "...Would you like a hand up?"

Hearing her light chuckle, the tint of his skin flushed redder across his face. He really must have looked absolutely ridiculous in his current position after that spontaneous mishap. Fakir then blinked up at Sakura in question of her offer. "Ah, it's okay, r-really," he stammered, carefully lifting himself back to his feet and taking a moment to close the bag of oats.  He straightened again and took a quick glance at his horse, hoping he hadn't startled Rashid too much with his tumble. And the ex-knight was surprised to find a glint of amusement shining in the horse's dark eyes. He sighed inwardly. Even his horse was laughing at him.

Turning back toward the brunette girl, he half-bowed his head forward sharply in a small gesture of apology. "It's not your fault, so don't worry. I should have been paying more attention."

He just kept getting more embarrassed. She probably shouldn't have laughed, but...he'd looked so bewildered when he'd found himself on the ground...

Fakir's small bow surprised her, and she took a slight step backwards. They seemed to be having a battle of politeness, as she opened her mouth to protest. "Don't worry about it." A brief image of his shocked face as he hit the ground came to mind, and she smiled again. "...I won't tell anyone you fell, if you'd like."

One of his eyebrows quirked upward and a half-smile creeped onto his features, somehow finding comforting that she was still smiling. Maybe it was because he hadn't immediately pulled himself up off the ground and stomped away angrily? That's what he'd have done a year or two ago, had he made such a mistake in public or in front of anyone. It was...strange how much he'd changed. He would usually take much more pride in being composed.

Fakir waved a hand in a nonchalant manner. "That's okay, it's not some kind of secret or something. Just...unexpected and a little embarrassing, that's all." To his dismay, the heat that had finally left his face crept back in. More like completely unexpected and horribly humiliating, his mind supplied. But as long as Sakura wasn't rolling on the ground laughing, maybe she wouldn't judge him as a clumsy moron based on that single stunt alone.

There- he'd finally smiled again. He really had gotten thrown by the fall. "You didn't hurt yourself when you fell, did you?" That would really make her feel terrible- imagine if she'd laughed at someone when they'd just hurt themselves falling over! Plus, she'd forgotten to ask until just now. He hadn't looked like he'd hurt himself, but she should have asked. Giving herself a mental kick for being so thoughtless, her brain finally caught up with the last bit of what he'd said, and his re-reddening face. "Ah- um, I just...wanted to make sure...I didn't mean to...rub it in, or anything..." Her face in turn flushed, feeling foolish.

His green eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, no," he insisted promptly. "I'm perfectly fine. It wasn't a long drop." Perhaps she was mistaking the embarrassment on his face for pain? It was possile, he reasoned.

Seeing the brunette's cheeks redden in turn as she spoke again, he glanced away before meeting her eyes.  "You didn't rub anything in. I don't know why I got so flustered. I guess, I just...don't make a fool out of myself often and I'm not used to it." The last part had been mumbled awkwardly as he nudged the ground with his right shoe. It's not like he could just straighten up now, wipe the smile off his face, and pretend nothing had happened. On the bright side, she probably couldn't think of him to be sillier than he already was.

Sakura immediately felt bad for forcing the question- obviously he'd not wanted his fall to be quite so much a topic of conversation. He looked like he felt terrible. Stepping forward, she laid a hand on his arm. "It's alright. Everyone does something silly from time to time." She slipped her hand off his arm quickly, and stepped over to the bench he'd been sitting on as she arrived. Sitting down, she kicked her feet slightly, looking up at the brown horse that had brought her here. She leaned back, staring up at the sky, thinking.

To his own shock, Fakir didn't freak out when she momentarily laid her hand on his arm, though his face did get another small dusting or red at the contact. As insane as it sounded in his head, maybe that accident of his had actually eased him up, a little. "Yeah, I suppose you're right," he agreed with a small nod, keeping watch as she approached the bench and seated herself upon it. "I just wish we could get warnings or something when we're about to have one of those moments." Pausing for a moment, he followed her gaze up to the sky. "Though we certainly don't get advance notices on curses, either. And some of those can be pretty...humiliating." He nearly grimaced, just recalling a few in particular.

Sakura looked over at the boy, surprised. "What would you be able to do about it, even if you had a warning?" The brunette turned back to her contemplation of the sky momentarily. "Even if...you knew it was coming..." No. No, she didn't want to think about that. No. Even if she had known, would she have done the same thing, all those years back? Shaking her head, as if it would rid her mind of unwelcome thoughts, Sakura focused on the other part of Fakir's statement.

"I haven't had too many humiliating ones... Ones where I felt terrible afterwards, yes. But...no embarrassing ones, really. They can be rather ...unkind sometimes." That line of thought wasn't so pleasant either. She lowered her gaze from the sky to Fakir who still stood, and Rashid.

"That's true..." he trailed off, thinking of how bizarre it would be to actually get a warning. It's not like you could actually stop or alter what was going to happen. Nor would it likely feel less embarrassing when it did. Glancing in Sakura's direction, his brows raised slightly as she shook her head. Had he said something that brought up bad memories again? Like those questions in his journal?

Her next words seemed to hit the nail on head and his expression sombered as he strode to the bench and sat down beside her, leaving plenty of space between them so as not to startle her. "They can be very unpleasant," he agreed softly. "And it's definitely one of the bigger drawbacks to being stranded here. You never know what you might be cursed to do or say on any given day." He'd experienced both kinds, in terms of humilation and...the ones that made you feel a deep regret the day afterward. "But there's also time to make up for those mistakes afterward and move forward. If everyone were to dwell on their wrongdoings all the time, whether their own choices or not, this place would be even less livable than it already is." He leaned back, glancing out over the expanse of Xanadu. "Keeping hope is important."

Fakir's words echoed her own thoughts almost eerily. "Mm... I know. It's what I tell myself after each curse. I had to, especially after Rubedo told me to stop apologizing after every curse." That next curse had been hard. It had taken a lot of effort to not apologize. "Keeping hope... " Sakura turned to the boy next to her. She hadn't really noticed him sitting down, but she didn't mind that he'd done it. "It's what I do. In some ways....all I can do." Her face reflected her conflicting emotions on the subject- How useless she could be, and had been, and yet...how she helped people sometimes, did her best to help people. She stared down at her hand, sitting on the bench, gloved still, and smiled wryly.

He turned inward slightly to face her, long dark bangs brushing over his eyes, and a small smile on his lips. Fakir knew the power that hope possessed. It had saved everyone his hometown from tragedy, all thanks to one who never gave up and who fought with everything she had, despite her supposed insignificance. "Keep hoping, and everything will be alright," he stated with full confidence. "There's really much more to hope than people realize. And here in this city that feeds off of negative emotions, it's one of the strong positive emotions that gives us the power to fight back." For just a a moment, the smile even reached his usually-cold and stern eyes. "Keep hoping, Sakura. It's the greatest gift you can give to those who have lost it. Hope for them, and hope for the future."

Seeing the war of emotions play across her features, he saw something he recognized instantly: uncertainty. As she turned her stare downward, he sighed into the cool winter air. "I know sometimes it seems impossible. Like nothing you do matters. You want to help, you want to protect, but you just...can't." The fingers on Fakir's right hand balled into a fist, his own frustration being awakened by recalling incidents he would rather not. Afterall, he wasn't called the "useless" Knight for nothing. "But you have to keep trying to do whatever you can. Even if it's keeping hope. It's something. And the people you care for will appreciate that."

Sakura was startled into looking straight into the face of the boy next to her. The frustration on his face and evident by his balled fist was, once again, almost eerily similar to what she herself had felt some days, when everything had seemed too much for her. Fakir's words had touched something- all those evenings wondering if she was really helping at all, memories of the times she'd been helpless, curse days when she'd been unkind- and the girl looked down again, hair falling in front of her face in a brown curtain as she fought back tears. She wiped her eyes hastily, and smiled foolishly. "I'm sorry." She reached over and touched the back of Fakir's balled fist lightly with her fingertips. "Thank you." Sakura looked over at the boy- she hoped she hadn't worried him- "But... you too. Keep hope, I mean." Her eyes, sober now, focused on him.

She was a kindred spirit. Fakir knew it, even without asking. Their emotions - they were almost mirroring one another in small ways and he could tell she felt the same growing unease and uncertainty he did. He could see it in her eyes - that is, until she looked away again and brought her hands up to wipe her face. His expression softened further when she smiled back at him. "There's nothing to be sorry for," he spoke as her hand laid upon his clenched one. Lifting his free hand, he placed it on top of the one laying upon his other. "It's okay to let it out when you need to," he spoke gently. "That's one step to getting stronger."

When her gaze returned to meet his again, the ex-knight patted their layered hands with the one on top. "I always keep hope," he assured her. "Even when I try to tell myself I don't need to, or everything is for nothing and hopeless to begin with, it remains as a small, warm light that's always there for me. " Fakir removed the his left hand from the top of the pile, placing it on its corresponding knee. "And it'll be there for you, too. So let's trust in that."

The brunette had been surprised, once again, by Fakir's gesture. "...Alright. Thank you, Fakir."

Suddenly conscious of how her hand still lay on his, Sakura drew her hand back, and colored, looking over towards the entrance she'd come in. "Ah- Rubedo will probably be worried... I've been gone a while." She glanced back at the dark haired boy, not wanting to leave the wrong impression.

"Thank you, too, Sakura," he spoke with a hint of a smile once more.

Having seen her face recieve a slight red hue as she removed her hand from his, he was suddenly also aware of the position their hands had been in, and the infamous, seemingly-contagious blush dusted across his cheeks, as well.  "We have been out here quite awhile," he agreed with a short nod. "You don't want to worry your friend, I'm sure." He stood up from the bench, offering her a hand to help her do the same. "Would you like me to escort you back?"

Taking his hand, she stood up, and once more pulled her hand back. "N-no, that's all right. I can make it back, and ...besides, you'll probably want to get Rashid in out of the cold." Curse this blush, it stubbornly refused to go away. "But thank you for offering."

Sakura forced herself to look up again. "Thank you." A light touch on his forearm, and then she quickly turned and took the first few steps towards home.

After she let go, he automatically crossed his arms over his chest out of habit. "Alright, if you're sure." Glancing toward his horse as she mentioned him, he gave Rashid an apologetic look for having left him there while they talked. But to his surprise, his horse didn't appear to be upset. That was a good thing.

Her next words and actions had happened so quickly that he found himself merely staring dumbly after her as she started to walk away. "...Ah..Thank you, too, Sakura!" He called out after her, louder than he really needed to. He felt the heat of embarrasment set his face aflame again. "And take care," he added, lowering his voice.