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tampered2007-01-21 01:08 am
juicebox-woes.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-01-21 01:08 am
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When; January 18th
Rating; PG-13, for swearing and cuddly fluff
Characters; Kurosaki Ichigo![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
untame, Kuchiki Rukia juicebox_woes
Summary; After Ichigo gets back from training Byakuya's little "announcement" about Rukia, coupled with her reaction to it, sends the substitute shinigami back home to confront his roommate and finally get things figured out.
Log;
Two weeks. Two whole weeks stuck in that godforsaken desert. And for what? Nothing, that's what. Well, nothing more than the various injuries he'd aquired on the way. At least it hadn't been anything that the miniature drooling arrancar hadn't been able to fix up.
But his thoughts had drifted since reentering the city. At first, it'd simply been a case of wanting to hide his injuries from others. But now, he'd been completely thrown for a loop. All thanks to a single reply from a certain captain of the Shinigami.
And the follow-up by Rukia hadn't been any better. Which was his only reason for cutting his meet up with Nell short. Passing her off to Momo, he'd practically forced himself to head back toward the apartment in search of the single Shinigami that had started it all.
And now, barely a foot from the door to her room, he paused, all his uncertaintly pushing forth at once. He definitely wasn't ready for this.
She could feel his reiatsu outside the door. And it...frightened her. Not Ichigo himself, never Ichigo. But...this whole situation. She was sitting in the windowsill, legs drawn up with her arms hugged around them tightly. Dark circles under her eyes and the tension in her small frame belied the calmness that one might otherwise mistake her stillness for. No, this situation was both frightening and....worrisome. Damn Byakuya and his insistence on butting in where he wasn't wanted. Rukia had come to terms with the fact that her relationship with her adoptive brother was a great deal different then it had been before, but that didnt' mean she was prepared for his rather unorthodox way of "helping" her. Glancing up at the single barrier that separated her from the orange-haired shinigami, she bit her lip and took a deep breath to quell the tremble that threatened to rise up in her body.
His hand moved to the door handle, and nothing more. It was all the move he made for a good few minutes. He wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to go inside or not. He knew he needed to, but things were already...difficult enough. Knowing his luck (and lack of experience with this kind of thing) he'd undoubtedly make things worse in the long run.
...she deserved more than that.
She also deserved to at least have some kind of explaination from him. If she was reacting this badly to the situation so far, it was only right that he tried to make things a little better. If that was even possible of course. And so, his hand shifted as he pushed the door open. His eyes moved straight across the room to where Rukia sat...looking a ghost of her former self. How much had happened while he'd been away? "...Rukia?"
She glanced up at him, violet eyes dark holes in a face that didn't usually look that pale. She looked almost the same as she'd looked when they'd pulled her out of the Shrine of Penitence in Seireitei. Pale, wan, even....small. Which didn't make much sense. Rukia WAS small, that was a simple fact of life. At 4'8, she certainly didn't tower over anyone at all, but the way she was right now, she seemed to look even smaller then normal. "Ichigo...." Swallowing, she glanced away, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear for a moment before looking back at him, mask of a smile painted on her face. "Good to see you back. Next time don't just disappear though, baka." Even though she was attempting to act as though everything was normal, shooting their usual bickering banter towards him, the words had a hollow note to them, as though the energy that usually backed them up was somehow diminished.
He was unable to help the frown that appeared on his face at the sight of her. He couldn't remember a time where Rukia had ever seemed so...fragile. What the hell had happened while he'd been gone? "I told you where I was goin', didn't I?" A vague smile and he stepped inside the room. However, he kept his distance, remaining near the door. Why? He wasn't sure. But just then, it felt the best thing to do. "...what happened?" He needed to know...somehow.
"Yeah, but you didn't give me any time to remind you that I can't cook...." She glanced away for a moment, then turned back, scratching the back of her head with a nervous laugh. "I'll, uh.....get us another macro-wave thingy." At his question, the facade broke for a moment, and she frowned, chewing her lip. "It......a curse. Just...just a curse."
And that probably explained why the carpet felt soggy as he walked through the apartment. And it'd also probably explain why it smelt as though there had been numerous fires over the past few days. But at that moment, it didn't matter. What did, was the next few words that left her mouth. A curse? Okay, so now they were getting somewhere. "...what kind of curse?" Or more precisely, "what happened to you?"
She drew her legs up tighter to her, almost like a wounded or frightened animal trying to make itself as small as possible, or a scared child trying to shy away from a nightmare. "It....it made us see things. Some.....saw their own worst fears, others....saw what others fear the most. I.....I saw both..."
Fears? Now that, he could understand. It was something he too had faced a short time before Rukia had made her presence known. "...what did you see?" ...that made you end up like this?
Didn't want to talk about it. REALLY didn't want to talk about it. But....it had kept her awake for every night since then. She'd fall asleep, stay asleep for maybe half an hour, then wake up screaming and trying to run from the images in her head. Maybe...maybe talking about it would help. Afterall...he'd told her about what happened to him. And, even though it was hard to admit, she knew that Ichigo was probably the one person who's "comfort", if it could be called that, she would appreciate. She sighed, raking a hand through lank black hair and shifting the neckline of the oversized T-shirt as it threatened to slide off one shoulder. "I....I saw everything. You...Sado....Ishida...Renji, Inoue....Nii-sama....everyone....torn apart. Killed, mutilated. The Arrancar and Aizen....laughing, gloating in their bloodbath while...I did nothing." She gritted her teeth, fingers clenching into fists. "I did...nothing. I stood there, like a weakling child, paralyzed. I...I couldn't do ANYTHING. I couldn't move, couldn't speak..."
"......." And that explained a lot. "...it wasn't real though." Of course, that wouldn't make the memories disappear, but he honestly had no clue of what to say. But at least... "...do you think we'd let them do something like that? Even Aizen isn't indestructable. They wouldn't let him do something like that." A pause and a weak smile. "...and I know, if things ever got worse, that you...wouldn't be able to sit back and watch. You're nothin' like that." The proof was in almost every encounter the two had had over the years.
She stayed silent, listening to his words. "That.....wasn't the worst of it, though...."
There was more? "...what else happened?" Though if it was anything like the rest, he wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to know.
Swallowing, as though she had to regain her composure, she turned to look at him, eyes boring into his as she spoke in a voice that was level, and yet so hollow and haunted that it didn't sound anything like her. "For 24 hours...I had to watch....everyone, and....especially...you. Walking away, and.....leaving me to die. Telling me....I wasn't needed. Wasn't... wanted.." She drew back up into her windowsill as though ashamed to admit that the fear had even existed, much less that it had affected her so deeply.
He was silent for a long few minutes, simply staring back at Rukia in...shock? Suprise? ...worry? He wasn't entirely sure. All he knew was that he now could understand why she'd reacted the way she had earlier. Or at least, to some extent he could. But still... "...do you think that would really ever happen?" He resisted the urge to cross the room and...do something. Whether that was comfort her or shake her out of her stupor, he didn't know either. "After everything we did to get you back, do you really think we'd just leave you alone again? That we'd let you die?"
Rukia flinched at his words, wrapping her arms around herself tighter. She knew he was right, knew that it wasn't true. But....that hadn't made it any easier to see it happen over and over and over again. To close her eyes against it and see the scenes played out on the backs of her eyelids. She shivered involuntarily and pushed the memories back as she shook her head. "No...I know you better then that. But....it didn't make it any easier, Ichigo..."
"I can understand..." ...more than he'd really care to admit. "But...you're making yourself sick over this. As long as you'll let it happen, you wont be left alone. And even if you tried to get rid of them, we wouldn't leave you alone for long." A slip, using we as opposed to they. But who was he kidding? There was no point lying about it all. Not now. "I'm not going anywhere, idiot."
"I....know you're not...." at least, I hope not.... She smiled slightly at him. "Afterall, you have to babysit me and make sure I don't blow things up, right?" A hint of the usual teasing, mixed with something else. Something...almost sad and whistful. And as much as she didn't like talking about the curse, at least it seemed to have distracted him from what Byakuya had said.
"Something like that." A small feeling of relief passed over him at the fact she seemed a little happier than before. Comforting others wasn't really something he was used to. The most he'd had experience with was when Yuzu had ended up hurting herself on something or other. And even then, he'd ended up passing her off to either his dad or Karin. Neither was something he could really do to Rukia. Passing her off to someone else of course. Afterall, ...he wanted to be the one to help...for some reason. "I would've thought you'd learnt how to cook something by now." A motion toward the door. "Hungry?"
Her expression darkened for a moment in a frown. "Hinamori-fukutaichou-san showed me a little." Slipping off of the windowsill, she stalked past him into the kitchen. Pulling a dish out of the fridge, she plunked it on the countertop. "See?" In the dish was what was likely supposed to be a casserole of some sort. But....casseroles were probably not supposed to be black on the top. Or...gooey on the bottom.
Following after her, Ichigo did his best to supress his wince at the sight of the...food? Sludge? Whatever it was meant to be. "How about you go get washed and dressed in your own clothes, and I'll go get something in?"
She cocked her head at him with a confused look for a moment before glancing down at herself. Cheeks turned red and eyes widened and she sputtered slightly before glancing away. "I..it...it was just something that was clean. That's all..."
A smirk and a shake of his head. "So that explains why the carpets wet, right?" Had it been under any other circumstances, he was sure they'd be shouting right now. But for the time being, he was being...lax about it. At least until she was feeling better with everything that'd happened.
She turned, if possible, even redder. His thoughts were correct, in any other circumstance she'd be punching him or yelling at him. But...he seemed like he was actually trying to be...sweet, in his own quirky Ichigo-esque way. "Would you rather I blew up THAT box too?"
"You sure you didn't already?" His foot shifted, another squelch echoing through the room. Perhaps it'd just be easier to move. "Go get washed and changed. I'll be back in a bit with something to eat, alright?"
With a slight nod, she turned and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
The moment she'd left, Ichigo let out a deep breath. Things were...complicated, and he couldn't see them getting better any time soon. Not to mention the fact they hadn't even mentioned a certain piece of information passed on by Byakuya.
And so, he was gone and back in less than half an hour, a steaming box of pizza balanced in one hand, a pack of beer in the other. It'd helped people like Keigo and Chad before, so why not Rukia too? "Rukia? You finished?"
The small shinigami stuck her head out from around the corner, damp black hair hanging in messy touseled strands around her face, towel draped around her neck and....wearing yet another of his T-shirts and what were obviously his sweatpants, though they were miles too long and the cuffs fell in deep folds around her feet. "Yeah...I'm done."
He raised an eyebrow at her appearance, but kept it at that. The time for joking would come later, assuming she actually relaxed enough to forget about things. As was the plan. "I got dinnner sorted." Making his way over to the sofa, he dropped the box and the cans on the table, making his way over to the TV to find something or other to play in the background.
With a slight nod, she made her way over to the sofa, curling up on the other end of it from where he was sitting. She watched him, unsure what to do or say. Was he just ignoring....things? Or did it just really not matter to him what Byakuya had said. Maybe he was just going to pretend like nothing ever happened and just deal with it that way. "Thank you.....for dinner."
Dropping back into his seat, Ichigo flicked the box open, sliding it toward Rukia as he turned his attention to the drinks. Pulling a pair out, he opened the first, holding it to Rukia before opening his own. "If you don't like it, there should still be some coke. Unless you drank it already." Which he doubted, knowing her lack of can opening abilities. And a moment later, a slice of pizza in one hand, a can in the other, Ichigo slid back into the seat properly, his attention on the screen. For now, he'd give Rukia a chance to just...relax.
Though she didn't say anything, she heaved a mental sigh at the fact that he'd opened the can for her. She still hadn't gotten the hang of how that metal ring managed to make the cylinder open. Holding the can up, she sniffed it slightly. Wrinkling up her nose, she studied if for a moment before taking a hesitant swig. Coughing slightly, she swallowed the bitter liquid down and chased it with a large bite of pizza.
He remained silent for a while, waiting for some kind of sign from the other that she was at least...calmer than before. Things were going to get complicated in a while, so there was no use have to push things on any quicker than they had to. Instead, he simply continued eating, opening fresh cans of beer as was needed.
After about 3 or 4 cans of the stuff. Beer, she thought they called it, she was definitely feeling more relaxed. And...warm. And there was a rather pleasant buzzing sensation in her head that seemed infinitely more pleasant then the ticking had been before she moved in with Ichigo.
Finishing what was now his last slice of pizza, Ichigo opened himself a fresh can, drawing his feet up onto the table as he relaxed backward. The crap he'd been eating during his time in the desert was nowhere near enough to fill him up. It was good to finally have something hot. The beer was an added bonus too. "Feelin' any better?" he finally asked, voice low.
She smiled, eyes a bit shinier then they probably had been before and nodded. "Kinda warm. It's nice... Feels good to eat real food again, rather then burnt noodles." With a yawn, she curled her feet up under her, hugging the pillow from the couch.
The smile that came in response was something he couldn't have stopped, even if he'd wanted to. He was glad she seemed happier than before. That was the whole point of them taking this 'timeout'. "You know, you could've just asked the others. They would've helped you out if you needed it."
She frowned slightly. "I know...but I wanted to do it myself...so that...you wouldn't know I needed help." Obviously, the alcohol was starting to show it's effect on her. Normally, she wasn't this straightforward, burying everything under layers of facade and smiles and masks.
A note of suprise passed over him before he managed to hide it again. It was pretty clear that the beer was getting to her. It was something he himself had suffered from a long time ago. "You know, I don't have a problem with you needing my help with that kind of thing. It's...normal now."
"I know....but it makes me feel dumb. But....thank you....I...know you don't mind helping me, I just...I wanted to show you that I'd be ok...." The beer was definitely affecting her, but even with that handicap, she was still Rukia. And so she still tried to keep control over whatever emotions she was feeling at the moment.
Shaking his head lightly, Ichigo took another drink, before staring down at the can. Now felt as good a time as any. "Rukia..." A sigh as the nervous feeling repeated over him. "...about before..."
She stiffened, eyes locked on the TV in front of her. Her throat moved in an obvious swallow for a moment before a slightly shaky voice answered. "Yeah?.......What about before?"
And it was now or never. "...was he telling the truth?"
There had been once before where Rukia could honestly say her heart stopped. And that had been facing down her execution, staring death in the eyes as the flames of the Soukyoku hovered mere feet in front of her, Ichigo the only thing standing in their way. Now...she could feel the twinge again as he asked the one question that Kuchiki Rukia was afraid to answer. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then glanced away. "I...I'm afraid to answer that...."
Pausing briefly, Ichigo glanced sideways to Rukia. "...I'm not going anywhere. I told you that already."
"I know that. But....that doesn't mean that things can't....change." Staring down at her clasped hands in her lap, she continued softly. "I...don't want to be the broken thread that makes everything unravel..."
"Whatever answer it is, I'm..." He shook his head. "I wont lie about it. I don't know how I'll react to whatever it is. But I'm not going anywhere. And I wont be. Not till you end up gettin' pissed off at me and headin' out of here." He smirked at the end, wanting to try and lighten the mood somewhat.
She sighed, still not meeting his gaze. She appreciated that he was trying to lighten the mood, trying to be more normal. But...she wasn't sure if it would help right now. "What if.....I told you that he was telling the truth? What would you do then? If that was the answer that I gave you."
"I wont know...unless that's actually...your answer." Of course that wasn't making things any easier for either of them, but he didn't want to start thinking of the what if's. Instead, he wanted an actual answer. He needed one.
Dipping her head to take another sip of the drink that was held in shaking hands, she paused for a moment as though gathering either thoughts or courage. I...I have to do this.... As afraid as part of her was to actually admit it, to risk rejection or worse, Byakuya's words kept echoing in her mind. Fine. Sit back and say nothing and watch as he assumes you don't care and moves on with someone else. That....that couldn't happen. Not so much because Rukia was the jealous sort or anything. But...because it would change things. And not just on a romantic level. It would change everything. Their partnership, the way they interacted, the way they just..understood each other. And...selfish as it may be, she wasn't willing to just let go of that. Taking a ragged breath, she gave the barest of nods. "It....it's true...."
"....." Okay, so he'd half expected her to pull out of it and just say that Byakuya had been making it up. He'd expected her to just brush it all off and say it was a joke. He hadn't expected her to actually...admit to it. But now she had...how did he actually feel about it? Sure, he knew that he cared about her. A lot. But did that mean that he really returned her feelings? Or did it just mean that she was a very good friend? He shook his head at that thought. There was no way that the second was right, but the first? "...oh." Turning his attention to the floor in front of him, Ichigo tried his best to formulate his words. He couldn't mess this up. Not now. "...I..." Well, that lasted all of three seconds. Words were definately failing him now. So how about... His hand reached out carefully, arm sliding out to wrap carefully around Rukia's waist, sliding the two of them together carefully. Even as he did so, his gaze was boring holes in the ground as he fought against the slow rise of pink that made its way onto his face.
Not looking at him, not looking at him, not looking at him. His silence was deafening, like a thick curtain of gel that seemed to smother everything. Had she ruined everything? Torn apart everything that they already shared because she'd wanted to be honest with him? She jumped as his hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him, colour rising in her cheeks as she turned to stare at him in shocked surprise. What...what was he doing? He couldn't...actually......could he? She bit her lip against the butterflies that were suddenly very frantic to beat their way out of her stomach. And...was the room spinning? Maybe it was just her.... Swallowing, she cocked her head to one side hesitantly, trying to see his face and read whatever expression was there on it. "I...Ichigo?"
Swallowing dryly, Ichigo kept his gaze on the ground. "I...said I wasn't going anywhere. And this..." A deep breath. "...this gives me more reason not to have to." His voice dropped quieter as he finished. "...I don't want to be anywhere else either." Okay, so maybe he wasn't any good with his words, but hopefully Rukia would understand. His arm tightened around her as a small smile made it's way onto his face. This felt...right.
And that...made a third time that she felt her heart stop. Was he...could he be...saying what she thought he was saying? She bit her lip as her eyes started to tear up. No, she wasn't supposed to cry. Why would she be crying, anyway? Glancing up at him, she swallowed past the lump in her throat. "You....that means that you....." She knew, knew he wasn't good with words but something, some part of her....needed the words. Even if....they weren't part of some poetic and flowery speech, or delivered in a romantic and touching way. She just...needed to hear him say it. Because...with his arm around her waist, snuggled up against his shoulder...it felt right. Safe. As though, for the first time since she'd found herself staring in disbelief at a human who had kicked her in the butt, the last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place.
She was making this as difficult as she could. Though that probably had a lot to do with the fact that this just felt so...weird to him. The last time he'd told someone he loved them, it had been his own mother, and he'd only been a child. But now, it was a completely different type of situation; a different kind of love involved. And those three words that he just...needed to say. "I..." Why did this have to be so hard? Taking a deep breath, he looked up, still keeping his gaze from Rukia as he finally spoke in an almost silent voice. "...I...love you..."
And this time, even biting her lip wasn't enough to keep the tears from welling up and spilling over. But this time, they weren't tears of doubt or fear. Swallowing, she wiped her eyes, though it wasn't doing much good. "I....I love you too.........I...always have...." It should have been harder to say, but somehow, the fact that he already knew seemed to make it a bit easier. Snuggling up against his arm, she nuzzled her face against his sleeve, more to try and hide the fact that she was crying then as any sort of romantic gesture. Afterall, as relieved as she was, this was still embarassing.
Well the last part came as a suprise. She always had? Then why hadn't he known before? ...actually, he already knew the answer to that. He'd only known now because he'd had it pointed out. And even then, it had taken until she agreed for it to sink in. There would've been no way for him to have spotted it alone. But that didn't matter now, did it. He knew, and she knew. That was it. Placing his can down on the table, his now free hand moved to her head, running carefully through dark strands before moving to her face as he finally looked back. The feel of moisture suprised him. "Rukia?" Had he done something wrong?
She leaned her cheek into his hand, her own small hand coming up to cover his as she raised her head to look at him, dark eyes tear-filled but not with sadness. She smiled, glancing away slightly. "I....don't know why I'm crying....but I...can't make it stop.." It was as though all of the tension, all of the worry that she hadn't even known she'd been carrying had suddenly been lifted off of her shoulders and now...now the world seemed a tad brighter.
He shook his head in amusement, a thumb moving to wipe away the tears as he muttered an "...idiot," under his breath. In truth, he was relieved she didn't seem to be taking it badly. Even with the tears. Had that been why she'd been so uneasy around him before? Just because of that? ...what, just? It really all made sense now.
She frowned, nose wrinkling up. "I am NOT...." She really didn't want to ruin the moment. But...that didn't mean she was just going to let him get away with it. So she punched him in the stomach. Not hard enough to really hurt, just enough to get her point across. "...an idiot." That taken care of, she snuggled up under his arm, dark head resting against his shoulder. "Now don't move. I'm comfortable."
He would've complained. Would've yelled at her for hitting him. Would've retaliated...had she not taken that moment to start getting herself comfortable against him. So, instead of his usual reaction of yelling at her, he simply pulled his feet back onto the table, relaxed back against the back of the sofa, and let the small shinigami get as comfortable as she wanted. With any luck, she'd at least get some rest. It looked like she needed it afterall.
"Ne, Ichigo.....is....is this what you meant...when you said that rescuing me was different?" She was mostly trying to make conversation, keep herself from going to sleep. Drowsy though she was, with the alcohol's effects, she wasn't willing to take the plunge into the darkness quite yet. She knew the nightmares were waiting. After 3 days of them, she'd simply decided it was pointless to even try to sleep, and had simply kept herself up by doing the only thing she had figured out how to do. Make really strong coffee.
"...partly." There was a lot to it, revolving around both his feelings for Rukia and the ones for Inoue. But as before, he couldn't really describe it. Not without probably messing things up again. But...if she wanted an answer...he'd try at least. "...Inoue is one of my oldest friends. I care about her in a way that's different to anything else. But this..." His arm squeezed around her carefully to illustrate. "...this is...completely different. I just...it's important to me in a way I can't explain."
She nodded. "Kindof like...how Renji is for me, I guess. I...care for him, I could even say that I love him. But....it's different. It's...." she blushed again. "..not like this." This was nice. Just...talking. Not bickering, not arguing, just sitting here and talking in a civilized way. Ironic, really. Because if anyone else had told her that it were possible for her and Ichigo to simply be together like this, she would have doubled over from laughing so hard.
He stiffened a little at the mention of Renji, but that was it. They were simply explaining things, so there was no point for him to get annoyed at her mentioning him. Especially if it was, as she said, a similar relationship to his and Inoue's. "It's just...how things are. And I wouldn't change it, even if I could. It's the same with all my friends."
"I know. It's...one of the things that I....like about you." Shifting her head on his shoulder, she glanced up at him for a moment. Cheeks turning red, she bit her lip before she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before ducking back down and resuming her intricate study of the hem of her shirt.
And once again, he found himself frozen in place as a blush made its way over his face. Maybe he'd gotten the whole describing the feeling thing down, but that didn't mean he was comfortable with everything else. Not by a long shot. "...get some rest, alright." And as an afterthought, "...I'll be right here when you wake up."
She shook her head. "I...can't sleep. I haven't been able to since....." Rukia shook her head slightly to chase away the memories that threatened to come careening back. "I'll just...stay up again, I guess.." Though that would be hard to do. She was warm, and her tired mind was quickly deciding that snuggled under Ichigo's arm was by far the most comfortable place she had yet found.
He could understand that. It'd take a while before he too had been comfortable enough to realise that he could actually fall asleep and nothing would go wrong. Being able to wake in the morning and still be himself. That had been the final time he'd found himself in trouble. So, in theory, Rukia needed the same, didn't she? "...just try. You need to."
Nodding slightly, she tucked her hair behind her ears. He was right, of course. As much as she hated to admit it, she was exhausted. Eventually sleep would find her, whether she went with it willingly or not. One arm hesitantly slipped around his waist, head snuggling back against his shoulder. "You'll....stay here? If I do?" She hated to sound like that. So weak, so vulnerable. But...maybe if he was here....then she would at least not panic so much when the nightmares came again.
"I already said I would, didn't I?" A half smile and Ichigo looked down at Rukia once again. "I'll be right here when you wake up, so get some rest." And if it meant it'd help her get back to normal, nothing was going to get him to move from his spot.
A sigh and she shifted slightly, eyelids sliding closed. "Thank you, Ichigo. For.....for everything.. And...I'm sorry I stole your clothes. Mine are still wet and soapy from the big white box leaking everywhere."
Yet another reason that moving house would be easiest. There was no way he was going to be able to fix everything she'd broken. But that didn't matter right now. He could sort that out later. For now, all that mattered was... "...don't worry about it." Relaxing his head back against the sofa, he too closed his eyes. Might as well take the opportunity to get some rest too.
Rating; PG-13, for swearing and cuddly fluff
Characters; Kurosaki Ichigo
untame, Kuchiki Rukia juicebox_woesSummary; After Ichigo gets back from training Byakuya's little "announcement" about Rukia, coupled with her reaction to it, sends the substitute shinigami back home to confront his roommate and finally get things figured out.
Log;
Two weeks. Two whole weeks stuck in that godforsaken desert. And for what? Nothing, that's what. Well, nothing more than the various injuries he'd aquired on the way. At least it hadn't been anything that the miniature drooling arrancar hadn't been able to fix up.
But his thoughts had drifted since reentering the city. At first, it'd simply been a case of wanting to hide his injuries from others. But now, he'd been completely thrown for a loop. All thanks to a single reply from a certain captain of the Shinigami.
And the follow-up by Rukia hadn't been any better. Which was his only reason for cutting his meet up with Nell short. Passing her off to Momo, he'd practically forced himself to head back toward the apartment in search of the single Shinigami that had started it all.
And now, barely a foot from the door to her room, he paused, all his uncertaintly pushing forth at once. He definitely wasn't ready for this.
She could feel his reiatsu outside the door. And it...frightened her. Not Ichigo himself, never Ichigo. But...this whole situation. She was sitting in the windowsill, legs drawn up with her arms hugged around them tightly. Dark circles under her eyes and the tension in her small frame belied the calmness that one might otherwise mistake her stillness for. No, this situation was both frightening and....worrisome. Damn Byakuya and his insistence on butting in where he wasn't wanted. Rukia had come to terms with the fact that her relationship with her adoptive brother was a great deal different then it had been before, but that didnt' mean she was prepared for his rather unorthodox way of "helping" her. Glancing up at the single barrier that separated her from the orange-haired shinigami, she bit her lip and took a deep breath to quell the tremble that threatened to rise up in her body.
His hand moved to the door handle, and nothing more. It was all the move he made for a good few minutes. He wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to go inside or not. He knew he needed to, but things were already...difficult enough. Knowing his luck (and lack of experience with this kind of thing) he'd undoubtedly make things worse in the long run.
...she deserved more than that.
She also deserved to at least have some kind of explaination from him. If she was reacting this badly to the situation so far, it was only right that he tried to make things a little better. If that was even possible of course. And so, his hand shifted as he pushed the door open. His eyes moved straight across the room to where Rukia sat...looking a ghost of her former self. How much had happened while he'd been away? "...Rukia?"
She glanced up at him, violet eyes dark holes in a face that didn't usually look that pale. She looked almost the same as she'd looked when they'd pulled her out of the Shrine of Penitence in Seireitei. Pale, wan, even....small. Which didn't make much sense. Rukia WAS small, that was a simple fact of life. At 4'8, she certainly didn't tower over anyone at all, but the way she was right now, she seemed to look even smaller then normal. "Ichigo...." Swallowing, she glanced away, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear for a moment before looking back at him, mask of a smile painted on her face. "Good to see you back. Next time don't just disappear though, baka." Even though she was attempting to act as though everything was normal, shooting their usual bickering banter towards him, the words had a hollow note to them, as though the energy that usually backed them up was somehow diminished.
He was unable to help the frown that appeared on his face at the sight of her. He couldn't remember a time where Rukia had ever seemed so...fragile. What the hell had happened while he'd been gone? "I told you where I was goin', didn't I?" A vague smile and he stepped inside the room. However, he kept his distance, remaining near the door. Why? He wasn't sure. But just then, it felt the best thing to do. "...what happened?" He needed to know...somehow.
"Yeah, but you didn't give me any time to remind you that I can't cook...." She glanced away for a moment, then turned back, scratching the back of her head with a nervous laugh. "I'll, uh.....get us another macro-wave thingy." At his question, the facade broke for a moment, and she frowned, chewing her lip. "It......a curse. Just...just a curse."
And that probably explained why the carpet felt soggy as he walked through the apartment. And it'd also probably explain why it smelt as though there had been numerous fires over the past few days. But at that moment, it didn't matter. What did, was the next few words that left her mouth. A curse? Okay, so now they were getting somewhere. "...what kind of curse?" Or more precisely, "what happened to you?"
She drew her legs up tighter to her, almost like a wounded or frightened animal trying to make itself as small as possible, or a scared child trying to shy away from a nightmare. "It....it made us see things. Some.....saw their own worst fears, others....saw what others fear the most. I.....I saw both..."
Fears? Now that, he could understand. It was something he too had faced a short time before Rukia had made her presence known. "...what did you see?" ...that made you end up like this?
Didn't want to talk about it. REALLY didn't want to talk about it. But....it had kept her awake for every night since then. She'd fall asleep, stay asleep for maybe half an hour, then wake up screaming and trying to run from the images in her head. Maybe...maybe talking about it would help. Afterall...he'd told her about what happened to him. And, even though it was hard to admit, she knew that Ichigo was probably the one person who's "comfort", if it could be called that, she would appreciate. She sighed, raking a hand through lank black hair and shifting the neckline of the oversized T-shirt as it threatened to slide off one shoulder. "I....I saw everything. You...Sado....Ishida...Renji, Inoue....Nii-sama....everyone....torn apart. Killed, mutilated. The Arrancar and Aizen....laughing, gloating in their bloodbath while...I did nothing." She gritted her teeth, fingers clenching into fists. "I did...nothing. I stood there, like a weakling child, paralyzed. I...I couldn't do ANYTHING. I couldn't move, couldn't speak..."
"......." And that explained a lot. "...it wasn't real though." Of course, that wouldn't make the memories disappear, but he honestly had no clue of what to say. But at least... "...do you think we'd let them do something like that? Even Aizen isn't indestructable. They wouldn't let him do something like that." A pause and a weak smile. "...and I know, if things ever got worse, that you...wouldn't be able to sit back and watch. You're nothin' like that." The proof was in almost every encounter the two had had over the years.
She stayed silent, listening to his words. "That.....wasn't the worst of it, though...."
There was more? "...what else happened?" Though if it was anything like the rest, he wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to know.
Swallowing, as though she had to regain her composure, she turned to look at him, eyes boring into his as she spoke in a voice that was level, and yet so hollow and haunted that it didn't sound anything like her. "For 24 hours...I had to watch....everyone, and....especially...you. Walking away, and.....leaving me to die. Telling me....I wasn't needed. Wasn't... wanted.." She drew back up into her windowsill as though ashamed to admit that the fear had even existed, much less that it had affected her so deeply.
He was silent for a long few minutes, simply staring back at Rukia in...shock? Suprise? ...worry? He wasn't entirely sure. All he knew was that he now could understand why she'd reacted the way she had earlier. Or at least, to some extent he could. But still... "...do you think that would really ever happen?" He resisted the urge to cross the room and...do something. Whether that was comfort her or shake her out of her stupor, he didn't know either. "After everything we did to get you back, do you really think we'd just leave you alone again? That we'd let you die?"
Rukia flinched at his words, wrapping her arms around herself tighter. She knew he was right, knew that it wasn't true. But....that hadn't made it any easier to see it happen over and over and over again. To close her eyes against it and see the scenes played out on the backs of her eyelids. She shivered involuntarily and pushed the memories back as she shook her head. "No...I know you better then that. But....it didn't make it any easier, Ichigo..."
"I can understand..." ...more than he'd really care to admit. "But...you're making yourself sick over this. As long as you'll let it happen, you wont be left alone. And even if you tried to get rid of them, we wouldn't leave you alone for long." A slip, using we as opposed to they. But who was he kidding? There was no point lying about it all. Not now. "I'm not going anywhere, idiot."
"I....know you're not...." at least, I hope not.... She smiled slightly at him. "Afterall, you have to babysit me and make sure I don't blow things up, right?" A hint of the usual teasing, mixed with something else. Something...almost sad and whistful. And as much as she didn't like talking about the curse, at least it seemed to have distracted him from what Byakuya had said.
"Something like that." A small feeling of relief passed over him at the fact she seemed a little happier than before. Comforting others wasn't really something he was used to. The most he'd had experience with was when Yuzu had ended up hurting herself on something or other. And even then, he'd ended up passing her off to either his dad or Karin. Neither was something he could really do to Rukia. Passing her off to someone else of course. Afterall, ...he wanted to be the one to help...for some reason. "I would've thought you'd learnt how to cook something by now." A motion toward the door. "Hungry?"
Her expression darkened for a moment in a frown. "Hinamori-fukutaichou-san showed me a little." Slipping off of the windowsill, she stalked past him into the kitchen. Pulling a dish out of the fridge, she plunked it on the countertop. "See?" In the dish was what was likely supposed to be a casserole of some sort. But....casseroles were probably not supposed to be black on the top. Or...gooey on the bottom.
Following after her, Ichigo did his best to supress his wince at the sight of the...food? Sludge? Whatever it was meant to be. "How about you go get washed and dressed in your own clothes, and I'll go get something in?"
She cocked her head at him with a confused look for a moment before glancing down at herself. Cheeks turned red and eyes widened and she sputtered slightly before glancing away. "I..it...it was just something that was clean. That's all..."
A smirk and a shake of his head. "So that explains why the carpets wet, right?" Had it been under any other circumstances, he was sure they'd be shouting right now. But for the time being, he was being...lax about it. At least until she was feeling better with everything that'd happened.
She turned, if possible, even redder. His thoughts were correct, in any other circumstance she'd be punching him or yelling at him. But...he seemed like he was actually trying to be...sweet, in his own quirky Ichigo-esque way. "Would you rather I blew up THAT box too?"
"You sure you didn't already?" His foot shifted, another squelch echoing through the room. Perhaps it'd just be easier to move. "Go get washed and changed. I'll be back in a bit with something to eat, alright?"
With a slight nod, she turned and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
The moment she'd left, Ichigo let out a deep breath. Things were...complicated, and he couldn't see them getting better any time soon. Not to mention the fact they hadn't even mentioned a certain piece of information passed on by Byakuya.
And so, he was gone and back in less than half an hour, a steaming box of pizza balanced in one hand, a pack of beer in the other. It'd helped people like Keigo and Chad before, so why not Rukia too? "Rukia? You finished?"
The small shinigami stuck her head out from around the corner, damp black hair hanging in messy touseled strands around her face, towel draped around her neck and....wearing yet another of his T-shirts and what were obviously his sweatpants, though they were miles too long and the cuffs fell in deep folds around her feet. "Yeah...I'm done."
He raised an eyebrow at her appearance, but kept it at that. The time for joking would come later, assuming she actually relaxed enough to forget about things. As was the plan. "I got dinnner sorted." Making his way over to the sofa, he dropped the box and the cans on the table, making his way over to the TV to find something or other to play in the background.
With a slight nod, she made her way over to the sofa, curling up on the other end of it from where he was sitting. She watched him, unsure what to do or say. Was he just ignoring....things? Or did it just really not matter to him what Byakuya had said. Maybe he was just going to pretend like nothing ever happened and just deal with it that way. "Thank you.....for dinner."
Dropping back into his seat, Ichigo flicked the box open, sliding it toward Rukia as he turned his attention to the drinks. Pulling a pair out, he opened the first, holding it to Rukia before opening his own. "If you don't like it, there should still be some coke. Unless you drank it already." Which he doubted, knowing her lack of can opening abilities. And a moment later, a slice of pizza in one hand, a can in the other, Ichigo slid back into the seat properly, his attention on the screen. For now, he'd give Rukia a chance to just...relax.
Though she didn't say anything, she heaved a mental sigh at the fact that he'd opened the can for her. She still hadn't gotten the hang of how that metal ring managed to make the cylinder open. Holding the can up, she sniffed it slightly. Wrinkling up her nose, she studied if for a moment before taking a hesitant swig. Coughing slightly, she swallowed the bitter liquid down and chased it with a large bite of pizza.
He remained silent for a while, waiting for some kind of sign from the other that she was at least...calmer than before. Things were going to get complicated in a while, so there was no use have to push things on any quicker than they had to. Instead, he simply continued eating, opening fresh cans of beer as was needed.
After about 3 or 4 cans of the stuff. Beer, she thought they called it, she was definitely feeling more relaxed. And...warm. And there was a rather pleasant buzzing sensation in her head that seemed infinitely more pleasant then the ticking had been before she moved in with Ichigo.
Finishing what was now his last slice of pizza, Ichigo opened himself a fresh can, drawing his feet up onto the table as he relaxed backward. The crap he'd been eating during his time in the desert was nowhere near enough to fill him up. It was good to finally have something hot. The beer was an added bonus too. "Feelin' any better?" he finally asked, voice low.
She smiled, eyes a bit shinier then they probably had been before and nodded. "Kinda warm. It's nice... Feels good to eat real food again, rather then burnt noodles." With a yawn, she curled her feet up under her, hugging the pillow from the couch.
The smile that came in response was something he couldn't have stopped, even if he'd wanted to. He was glad she seemed happier than before. That was the whole point of them taking this 'timeout'. "You know, you could've just asked the others. They would've helped you out if you needed it."
She frowned slightly. "I know...but I wanted to do it myself...so that...you wouldn't know I needed help." Obviously, the alcohol was starting to show it's effect on her. Normally, she wasn't this straightforward, burying everything under layers of facade and smiles and masks.
A note of suprise passed over him before he managed to hide it again. It was pretty clear that the beer was getting to her. It was something he himself had suffered from a long time ago. "You know, I don't have a problem with you needing my help with that kind of thing. It's...normal now."
"I know....but it makes me feel dumb. But....thank you....I...know you don't mind helping me, I just...I wanted to show you that I'd be ok...." The beer was definitely affecting her, but even with that handicap, she was still Rukia. And so she still tried to keep control over whatever emotions she was feeling at the moment.
Shaking his head lightly, Ichigo took another drink, before staring down at the can. Now felt as good a time as any. "Rukia..." A sigh as the nervous feeling repeated over him. "...about before..."
She stiffened, eyes locked on the TV in front of her. Her throat moved in an obvious swallow for a moment before a slightly shaky voice answered. "Yeah?.......What about before?"
And it was now or never. "...was he telling the truth?"
There had been once before where Rukia could honestly say her heart stopped. And that had been facing down her execution, staring death in the eyes as the flames of the Soukyoku hovered mere feet in front of her, Ichigo the only thing standing in their way. Now...she could feel the twinge again as he asked the one question that Kuchiki Rukia was afraid to answer. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then glanced away. "I...I'm afraid to answer that...."
Pausing briefly, Ichigo glanced sideways to Rukia. "...I'm not going anywhere. I told you that already."
"I know that. But....that doesn't mean that things can't....change." Staring down at her clasped hands in her lap, she continued softly. "I...don't want to be the broken thread that makes everything unravel..."
"Whatever answer it is, I'm..." He shook his head. "I wont lie about it. I don't know how I'll react to whatever it is. But I'm not going anywhere. And I wont be. Not till you end up gettin' pissed off at me and headin' out of here." He smirked at the end, wanting to try and lighten the mood somewhat.
She sighed, still not meeting his gaze. She appreciated that he was trying to lighten the mood, trying to be more normal. But...she wasn't sure if it would help right now. "What if.....I told you that he was telling the truth? What would you do then? If that was the answer that I gave you."
"I wont know...unless that's actually...your answer." Of course that wasn't making things any easier for either of them, but he didn't want to start thinking of the what if's. Instead, he wanted an actual answer. He needed one.
Dipping her head to take another sip of the drink that was held in shaking hands, she paused for a moment as though gathering either thoughts or courage. I...I have to do this.... As afraid as part of her was to actually admit it, to risk rejection or worse, Byakuya's words kept echoing in her mind. Fine. Sit back and say nothing and watch as he assumes you don't care and moves on with someone else. That....that couldn't happen. Not so much because Rukia was the jealous sort or anything. But...because it would change things. And not just on a romantic level. It would change everything. Their partnership, the way they interacted, the way they just..understood each other. And...selfish as it may be, she wasn't willing to just let go of that. Taking a ragged breath, she gave the barest of nods. "It....it's true...."
"....." Okay, so he'd half expected her to pull out of it and just say that Byakuya had been making it up. He'd expected her to just brush it all off and say it was a joke. He hadn't expected her to actually...admit to it. But now she had...how did he actually feel about it? Sure, he knew that he cared about her. A lot. But did that mean that he really returned her feelings? Or did it just mean that she was a very good friend? He shook his head at that thought. There was no way that the second was right, but the first? "...oh." Turning his attention to the floor in front of him, Ichigo tried his best to formulate his words. He couldn't mess this up. Not now. "...I..." Well, that lasted all of three seconds. Words were definately failing him now. So how about... His hand reached out carefully, arm sliding out to wrap carefully around Rukia's waist, sliding the two of them together carefully. Even as he did so, his gaze was boring holes in the ground as he fought against the slow rise of pink that made its way onto his face.
Not looking at him, not looking at him, not looking at him. His silence was deafening, like a thick curtain of gel that seemed to smother everything. Had she ruined everything? Torn apart everything that they already shared because she'd wanted to be honest with him? She jumped as his hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him, colour rising in her cheeks as she turned to stare at him in shocked surprise. What...what was he doing? He couldn't...actually......could he? She bit her lip against the butterflies that were suddenly very frantic to beat their way out of her stomach. And...was the room spinning? Maybe it was just her.... Swallowing, she cocked her head to one side hesitantly, trying to see his face and read whatever expression was there on it. "I...Ichigo?"
Swallowing dryly, Ichigo kept his gaze on the ground. "I...said I wasn't going anywhere. And this..." A deep breath. "...this gives me more reason not to have to." His voice dropped quieter as he finished. "...I don't want to be anywhere else either." Okay, so maybe he wasn't any good with his words, but hopefully Rukia would understand. His arm tightened around her as a small smile made it's way onto his face. This felt...right.
And that...made a third time that she felt her heart stop. Was he...could he be...saying what she thought he was saying? She bit her lip as her eyes started to tear up. No, she wasn't supposed to cry. Why would she be crying, anyway? Glancing up at him, she swallowed past the lump in her throat. "You....that means that you....." She knew, knew he wasn't good with words but something, some part of her....needed the words. Even if....they weren't part of some poetic and flowery speech, or delivered in a romantic and touching way. She just...needed to hear him say it. Because...with his arm around her waist, snuggled up against his shoulder...it felt right. Safe. As though, for the first time since she'd found herself staring in disbelief at a human who had kicked her in the butt, the last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place.
She was making this as difficult as she could. Though that probably had a lot to do with the fact that this just felt so...weird to him. The last time he'd told someone he loved them, it had been his own mother, and he'd only been a child. But now, it was a completely different type of situation; a different kind of love involved. And those three words that he just...needed to say. "I..." Why did this have to be so hard? Taking a deep breath, he looked up, still keeping his gaze from Rukia as he finally spoke in an almost silent voice. "...I...love you..."
And this time, even biting her lip wasn't enough to keep the tears from welling up and spilling over. But this time, they weren't tears of doubt or fear. Swallowing, she wiped her eyes, though it wasn't doing much good. "I....I love you too.........I...always have...." It should have been harder to say, but somehow, the fact that he already knew seemed to make it a bit easier. Snuggling up against his arm, she nuzzled her face against his sleeve, more to try and hide the fact that she was crying then as any sort of romantic gesture. Afterall, as relieved as she was, this was still embarassing.
Well the last part came as a suprise. She always had? Then why hadn't he known before? ...actually, he already knew the answer to that. He'd only known now because he'd had it pointed out. And even then, it had taken until she agreed for it to sink in. There would've been no way for him to have spotted it alone. But that didn't matter now, did it. He knew, and she knew. That was it. Placing his can down on the table, his now free hand moved to her head, running carefully through dark strands before moving to her face as he finally looked back. The feel of moisture suprised him. "Rukia?" Had he done something wrong?
She leaned her cheek into his hand, her own small hand coming up to cover his as she raised her head to look at him, dark eyes tear-filled but not with sadness. She smiled, glancing away slightly. "I....don't know why I'm crying....but I...can't make it stop.." It was as though all of the tension, all of the worry that she hadn't even known she'd been carrying had suddenly been lifted off of her shoulders and now...now the world seemed a tad brighter.
He shook his head in amusement, a thumb moving to wipe away the tears as he muttered an "...idiot," under his breath. In truth, he was relieved she didn't seem to be taking it badly. Even with the tears. Had that been why she'd been so uneasy around him before? Just because of that? ...what, just? It really all made sense now.
She frowned, nose wrinkling up. "I am NOT...." She really didn't want to ruin the moment. But...that didn't mean she was just going to let him get away with it. So she punched him in the stomach. Not hard enough to really hurt, just enough to get her point across. "...an idiot." That taken care of, she snuggled up under his arm, dark head resting against his shoulder. "Now don't move. I'm comfortable."
He would've complained. Would've yelled at her for hitting him. Would've retaliated...had she not taken that moment to start getting herself comfortable against him. So, instead of his usual reaction of yelling at her, he simply pulled his feet back onto the table, relaxed back against the back of the sofa, and let the small shinigami get as comfortable as she wanted. With any luck, she'd at least get some rest. It looked like she needed it afterall.
"Ne, Ichigo.....is....is this what you meant...when you said that rescuing me was different?" She was mostly trying to make conversation, keep herself from going to sleep. Drowsy though she was, with the alcohol's effects, she wasn't willing to take the plunge into the darkness quite yet. She knew the nightmares were waiting. After 3 days of them, she'd simply decided it was pointless to even try to sleep, and had simply kept herself up by doing the only thing she had figured out how to do. Make really strong coffee.
"...partly." There was a lot to it, revolving around both his feelings for Rukia and the ones for Inoue. But as before, he couldn't really describe it. Not without probably messing things up again. But...if she wanted an answer...he'd try at least. "...Inoue is one of my oldest friends. I care about her in a way that's different to anything else. But this..." His arm squeezed around her carefully to illustrate. "...this is...completely different. I just...it's important to me in a way I can't explain."
She nodded. "Kindof like...how Renji is for me, I guess. I...care for him, I could even say that I love him. But....it's different. It's...." she blushed again. "..not like this." This was nice. Just...talking. Not bickering, not arguing, just sitting here and talking in a civilized way. Ironic, really. Because if anyone else had told her that it were possible for her and Ichigo to simply be together like this, she would have doubled over from laughing so hard.
He stiffened a little at the mention of Renji, but that was it. They were simply explaining things, so there was no point for him to get annoyed at her mentioning him. Especially if it was, as she said, a similar relationship to his and Inoue's. "It's just...how things are. And I wouldn't change it, even if I could. It's the same with all my friends."
"I know. It's...one of the things that I....like about you." Shifting her head on his shoulder, she glanced up at him for a moment. Cheeks turning red, she bit her lip before she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before ducking back down and resuming her intricate study of the hem of her shirt.
And once again, he found himself frozen in place as a blush made its way over his face. Maybe he'd gotten the whole describing the feeling thing down, but that didn't mean he was comfortable with everything else. Not by a long shot. "...get some rest, alright." And as an afterthought, "...I'll be right here when you wake up."
She shook her head. "I...can't sleep. I haven't been able to since....." Rukia shook her head slightly to chase away the memories that threatened to come careening back. "I'll just...stay up again, I guess.." Though that would be hard to do. She was warm, and her tired mind was quickly deciding that snuggled under Ichigo's arm was by far the most comfortable place she had yet found.
He could understand that. It'd take a while before he too had been comfortable enough to realise that he could actually fall asleep and nothing would go wrong. Being able to wake in the morning and still be himself. That had been the final time he'd found himself in trouble. So, in theory, Rukia needed the same, didn't she? "...just try. You need to."
Nodding slightly, she tucked her hair behind her ears. He was right, of course. As much as she hated to admit it, she was exhausted. Eventually sleep would find her, whether she went with it willingly or not. One arm hesitantly slipped around his waist, head snuggling back against his shoulder. "You'll....stay here? If I do?" She hated to sound like that. So weak, so vulnerable. But...maybe if he was here....then she would at least not panic so much when the nightmares came again.
"I already said I would, didn't I?" A half smile and Ichigo looked down at Rukia once again. "I'll be right here when you wake up, so get some rest." And if it meant it'd help her get back to normal, nothing was going to get him to move from his spot.
A sigh and she shifted slightly, eyelids sliding closed. "Thank you, Ichigo. For.....for everything.. And...I'm sorry I stole your clothes. Mine are still wet and soapy from the big white box leaking everywhere."
Yet another reason that moving house would be easiest. There was no way he was going to be able to fix everything she'd broken. But that didn't matter right now. He could sort that out later. For now, all that mattered was... "...don't worry about it." Relaxing his head back against the sofa, he too closed his eyes. Might as well take the opportunity to get some rest too.
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Esp. since she is my IRL best friend. XD