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[backwards.livejournal.com]

When; Tonight
Rating; G
Characters; Kira Izuru backwards and Hinamori Momo hajikemomo
Summary; Two friends watch the sunset together.
Log;

The sun was low in the sky by the time Kira reached the top flight of stairs. He checked over his shoulder once, a habit he had quickly picked up since losing his ability to detect reiatsu, before pushing open the door to the rooftop, stepping out and looking around for the other shinigami. It didn't take long to find her, sitting in the same place as they had the other evening, watching the sun set. He made his way to her side and took a seat next to her, offering a quiet greeting as he did. He was glad to see her, he always was, but being around other shinigami now was tasking. He wondered if his reiatsu was too faint, or maybe too strong, the way a person's voice grows louder when they lose their ability to hear. No one had mentioned it yet, but he had no way of knowing, and letting on that he had made a deal with one of the deities was the last thing he wanted right now. He pulled himself away from these thoughts, however, and gave Hinamori a small smile. It was easier not to worry when he remembered what he had traded for.

After four days without it, her heartbeat had become a very loud thing. Not that she minded at all; having it was comforting, reassuring. Not knowing who had returned it was irritating, but minor. She hoped they knew she appreciated it, hoped that alone was enough. They had reasons for not coming forward, after all. But as loud as it was, it couldn't drown out the thoughts that filled her mind, issues and things she didn't want to think about but did anyway. Her returned greeting then, was all the quieter to adjust for the noise in her ears. "I'm glad you remembered where to come... I guess I should stop shielding my reiatsu, but it's a habit." A soft smile in his direction before Hinamori returned her attention to the view in front of her, feet dangling dangerously over the ledge of the building.

"I'm tired of listening to everyone in the City."

He put his hands up in front of him, indicating it was no big deal. "No, it's fine. I figured we would meet in the same place, so..." He trailed off, watching her change in expression as she spoke. His heart sank at her words... Was she talking about the espada? He shook his head a little, dismissing the thought and the feelings that came with it as quickly as they came. Even if she was, it wasn't any of his business... Right? He cast his gaze down to the ground below, letting vertigo creep over him. "Ah, really? What do you mean?"

"Everything seems... Meaningless. I thought that maybe I would be fine but everything I know is so much smaller now. And there's, there's so many of us here now." She brought a hand up, adjusted her badge, dropped it into her lap. "Rangiku wants to get married, Aizen says he has, had, I don't even know, feelings for her, I-" Hinamori paused, frowning as she glanced down, lacing her fingers to give her something to hold on to. "I don't have the strength to face up to a numero." There, it was out, and she blushed at the admission, slightly ashamed. It was why she was going, wasn't it? To get back her strength, to go beyond it even. To push herself to her limits and gain new ones, no matter the cost short of her life. There was no way she could risk that again, not here, but she kept her gaze down, unable or unwilling to say anything further.

Kira listened to what she had to say -- watched her adjust her vice captain's badge out of the corner of his eye with a feeling of uneasiness -- and let out an almost-inaudible sigh, keeping his eyes on her instead of their surroundings. "I've given up on trying to understand Aizen and the arrancar... nothing they do seems logical." As for strength, he was all too familiar with the feeling of being an insignificant bug while coexisting with so many powerful beings in such a small place. To put those thoughts into words, however, seemed almost like he was betraying himself, so he settled for a nod of understanding instead. After a pause, he mentally kicked himself, realizing he had called the very numero she was speaking of weak right where she could see it. "They're strong... it's frustrating."

She smiled sadly, glad to have him there with her. Much better than sitting there and wallowing in self pity, at least. "I'm hoping that Urahara can help. It's not like I'm useless or anything, really. I just, I need to be able to protect others and myself better than I can right now." And that was it, always driven by her need to protect others, to defend them by words or blade. That was why she was in the fifth division, her gentle nature contrasting with everyone else around her. Glancing over, widening the smile that little bit more for his benefit, Hinamori attempted to put her mind at rest. It wasn't what she was here for, after all. This was about spending time with a friend.

"I've heard.. A lot about Urahara-san. I'm sure you'll get stronger." He was happy to already see her smile brighten -- to see her smile at all, really. It was hard to believe how much time had passed, how much had happened between now and the first time they had met. They had both seen so much more, become that much stronger, come to understand things they hadn't even imagined at that time, and still they could sit together like this, talking. He turned his gaze to the sun, now half-hidden by the horizon. "You know..." He thought about what to say, the different things going through his mind, but no matter how he tried, it wasn't possible to put into words. After a long pause, he shrugged his shoulders slightly, waving his hand with a quiet laugh as he watched the sun set. "Never mind."

Curious, she smiled slightly again as he brushed it off. He'd always been like that, hadn't he? There was something she couldn't pin down, something different about him, the way he carried himself, but her brain couldn't wrap around it, figure it out. He was still Kira, at least, and that had to count for something. Whatever was missing was probably just her, being silly, tired, too much sun in the eyes or something. Whatever it was, he didn't seem bothered so she didn't let it affect her, choosing to watch the sun slip further and further as she sat in comfortable silence.

Right as it was about to disappear she sighed, stretching her arms out in front, fingers still laced as she kept her gaze forward, a small smile forming. "Kira-kun? Don't ever change. If you do, then we can't do things like this anymore and... I like this."

He watched the gentle expression on her face as the light faded with each second, a strange feeling rising up inside him. He couldn't give it a name, didn't know what to do with it... It wasn't all good, but it wasn't bad either. Opting to think it over later, his smile softened at her words, warming the usually cold look of his eyes. "I like it, too." He said quietly, with the feeling that speaking too loudly here would cause something -- what it was, he couldn't say -- to shatter. "I won't... As long as you won't."

She couldn't promise that, not knowing what she was going to try, but she smiled anyway. Couldn't help but smile, really, as she looked at him, tilting her head to the side. "Of course," the small lie slipped out, and with it the silent promise not to let anything ever prevent her from doing things like this. Not even going home. She turned fully to him at that thought, holding a hand out to him with the pinky out, a childish gesture. "When we get home, promise we'll do this again? The view from Granny's roof is amazing."

It took a moment for it to dawn on him what her outstretched hand meant. He looked up at her face hesitantly before returning his gaze to her hand, reaching out and mimicking the gesture with his opposite hand, cheeks colouring just the slightest as he did. "Alright, it's a promise." Kira of all people knew the dangers of making promises -- or at least, the dangers in trusting them, but this once, he didn't really mind.

She chuckled slightly, glad that even if it was a childish gesture, even if it was just words and a movement that it meant something. Kidou was just words and movements, and it was capable of amazing things. So a promise like this... Was reassuring, even though it wasn't exactly something she'd do normally. "I won't be around for a while but when I'm back, we should have dinner. Abarai-kun too."

"That sounds nice." He said with a small nod. It was dark now, and one by one the stars were becoming visible. He looked up at them, letting an easy quiet sink in between the two of them before returning his eyes to her face as a soft breeze began to blow. "How long will you be gone?"

Stargazing wasn't something she did often, if it could even be called that, but she slowly traced patterns in the sky above, giving them shapes and names to suit her thoughts. Halfway between making the symbol for the fifth division, slightly to the left of her, she paused, not glancing over. "Um. About three days?"

"Ah... Good luck." He replied, following her gaze so maybe he could see the stars the same way she did. Looking at the sky like this usually made him feel small, but with Hinamori by his side it was different somehow. "I'm sure you'll do well."

She shivered slightly against the wind, hugging herself. "Mm, I hope so." Tobiume was sure she could manage, but her mind said otherwise, wavering constantly the more she stopped to think about it. But that was later, could wait. Time could stop for right now, couldn't? For the comfortable moment, sitting with one of her best friends and looking at stars, no matter how unfamiliar they were. Content with that line of thinking Hinamori allowed herself to smile again, dropping her gaze to the City's lights.

He saw her shiver and stood up, straightening his clothes before reaching down, offering his hand to her. "Let's go? It's getting cold.. I'll walk you back." She had mentioned having to get up early the next morning, so it was probably best if they didn't stay out much longer anyway.

"Mm, okay." She pulled her legs back over, taking the offered hand to pull her to her feet with a small sigh. "That would be nice," Hinamori smiled in response, tightening her grip reassuringly before freeing her hand once more.

Together they made their way down the stairs to the floor where Hinamori's apartment was, walking side by side in comfortable silence. As they reached the door, Kira turned to face his friend with a small smile. "Take care." He said quietly, looking into her eyes.

"I'll be as careful as I can," she murmured back quietly, glancing up at him, expression slightly concerned. "You'll be okay?" She really didn't want to leave Kira if he was unhappy with the way things were. They'd never really addressed the major issues, never talked about how they felt in regards to the way things were going amongst them, but that hadn't stopped her from worrying about her friend and the way he was thinking about things. Even now, when she had to focus on things at hand, on her training, she couldn't help but pause and question if she was doing the right thing.

"I'll be fine." He reached out and took her hand in his as he said it, maybe because he was trying to show her, maybe even show himself -- he wasn't sure anymore. He didn't want her to doubt anything, especially not now when she was trying to be stronger, and even more than that he didn't want to be a reason for her doubt. In retrospect, maybe it wasn't the best of ideas, but at the moment the only thing he could think to do was lean forward and place a soft kiss on her forehead. He murmured a goodnight against her skin before letting go of her hand and stepping back, looking into her eyes and hoping his conflicting feelings didn't show in his own. "I'll see you when you get back."

Confusion reigned, evident in her face as she watched him, unable to keep from blushing. The small show of affection threw her off completely and she could only stare up at him for a minute before she managed a shy smile. "...Goodnight." Whatever his reasons, they were his, and in the end she probably wouldn't understand why he did anything any better than she did normally, so she simply let it be, murmuring a soft, "Thank you," before disappearing into the apartment.