tampered | Log: Complete

Log: Complete

When; February 1, night
Rating; PG, I think
Characters; Naoto [

naoto_two] & Robin [

blackhibiscus]
Summary; Naoto's first night with the Straw Hats ends with a heart-to-heart conversation that presents her with too many options and not enough courage to choose.
Log;

It was cold out there on the deck of the Going Merry, on the ceaselessly rolling waves, unprotected by roofs or walls. Naoto knew she could retreat to the bedroom that her friends had arranged, and she would be warm and safe under the covers of her bed. Instead, however, she chose to sit in the winter chill, her impassive gaze falling spitefully on the shore.

She had a lot to think about: Lucci, Robin, Kaku… people who, in reality, shouldn’t have anything to do with her, people who she should never have known. And yet there she was, thrown forcefully into their conflicts simply because her best friend and her lover wished to kill each other. And what could she do about it? Nothing. She hadn’t been there to protect Robin from Lucci. She hadn’t been there to stop the wolf and the leopard from fighting, had only arrived in time to stop them from killing each other. Her meeting with Jyabura had been the final straw, and she could no longer stand to stay in the presence of the person she was so conflicted about. So she’d requested to stay with the pirates, and they had welcomed her with open arms.

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Robin couldn't sleep. She had tried making herself comfortable in any position, rolled over, tossed and turned but nothing helped. In a way, she was kind of happy that she was unable to, as every rest at night would end up in images she didn't want to see ever again.

So instead, she got out of bed and slipped her nightgown on, heading for the deck -- she liked being there at night, since it was quiet and alone, except for maybe Merry's figurehead. She sometimes talked to the ship, having the silly feeling that it would understand, that it was comforting her despite being pieces of wood.

She opened the door and immediately felt the cold wind digging its way through her skin. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea after all. But just as she wanted to turn around, she noticed a figure, not very far away from her.

"Naoto-san..." she said, while walking up to her friend with a smile. "It appears that I am not the only one who couldn't sleep?"

Naoto had heard the soft pad of footfalls across the creaking ship, but she only raised her head to glance up at Robin when the woman called her name. She offered her friend a small smile in return, her eyes dropping back to the shoreline.

“No, I couldn’t,” the swordswoman replied quietly, just loud enough to hear over the murmur of waves. “I’m not really used to sleeping on a ship. It’s… uncomfortable. But I think I’ll get used to it.”

She gazed up at her friend again. “What’s keeping you awake?”

"I'm sure you will, it's not very hard," she said gently, positioning herself next to her friend, also gazing absently towards the shoreline. She listened to the soothing sound of waves for a moment before turning her head towards the woman next to her.

"I just can't sleep these days, it's probably because of this City and its effects." She didn't want to talk about herself now, since it was oh-so obvious that something was troubling Naoto.

"What about you?"

“I…” She didn’t know where to begin, exactly. There were so many things going through her head and she didn’t know what to mention first, which was most important, which should receive the most attention and worry.

She sighed. “I feel betrayed. After all he’d told me, I shouldn’t be surprised, but when I found out… When I realized what had happened to you, it hurt inside. Everything. Like I’d been stabbed in the back.” Naoto turned her head so she could see Robin’s expression. “I consider you one of my best friends here, and to hear that someone close to me had hurt you… It’s unforgiveable.”

Robin smiled sadly at the mentioning of 'back-stabbing', since she knew all too well how that felt. Yet, it felt like the most cliche thing to say, so she swallowed her words and tried to be comforting in a non-I-told-you-so way.

"Back stabbing is what he's good at, don't forget that," she said slowly, trying to find the right words to say at this moment. "He tried to kill his best 'friends' in a bat of an eyelash, the people he had worked and lived with for five years. Yet, I do think that this is a different case. He obviously cares about you, but I do not know to which extent. Hurting you doesn't include that, but it does include hurting me. It's his job, yet it is also the thing he draws pleasure out. That's how it is. You cannot change someone for what he or she is."

The swordswoman drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, a very image of frailty she had worked so hard to extinguish. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on the calming waves beneath them.

“I love him,” she said finally, sadly. “I love him very much, but I don’t know what to do about this. I can’t forgive him for hurting you, even if it’s who he is. I knew he would try something against you, and I said I would protect you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do a thing against him, or Jyabura, and I doubt even Kaku if it ever came down to it.” She sighed again, bitterly this time, and her hands clenched into fists.

Kaku. She had nothing against the man, hadn’t even met him, and yet she felt a sort of betrayal at the sound of his name. She knew it was because of Jyabura’s words. She didn’t know if what he’d said was true or not, because while a part of her felt there was little reason to doubt him, she knew he hated Lucci with a passion and would do anything to hurt the man.

Robin had to resist a look of pity instead of one of understanding, since pitying was never fair, at least in her own opinion. So instead she sat down next to her friend and crossed her legs, watching Naoto carefully and pondering about her words.

"If you love him and if he makes you truly happy, you should be with him, don't you think? I will never keep you from that, since it would make me a hypocrite," she said, thinking about her own situation for a moment before dismissing those thoughts to elsewhere. "And this problem he has with me goes all the way back to our world, so I don't think you should get involved in this. Not because you're not worthy of it, but because this is, and forgive me for using these words, none of your business. As much as I hate him, I can understand his point of view and you still cannot, because you don't understand his reasons, nor his point of view."

She closed her eyes and hummed for a moment, before opening again and looking towards the sea. "As for Jyabura and Kaku... I know that you wouldn't be able to take on Jyabura. I don't really know about Kaku, except for maybe the fact that he is most likely stronger than Jyabura. What I do know is that at least one of the two wouldn't allow Lucci to hurt me again, so you shouldn't worry about that anymore."

She nodded slowly, admitting Robin’s words as truth. It really was none of her business, and yet she’d been so adamant about butting in. It wasn’t her place. But that only troubled her further. Though it entailed leaving Robin in quite capable hands, she felt that she had to do something, anything since Lucci was the one closest to her.

“I’m really glad you found someone like Jyabura-san,” Naoto said, smiling now, though it was still gloomy. “He’s… not exactly nice, but he has the best intentions. I think he’ll make a great husband and father. I, on the other hand… As much as I love Lucci, I don’t think it would be wise if my relationship with him went beyond where it is now. We’re from different worlds, so if one of us found a way back home, we can’t wait for the other to join us.”

She hated admitting it, but that too was the truth. She could only enjoy it as long as possible, and hopefully with as little injury as possible, too.

Robin chuckled softly and looked up at the sky, her smile fading slowly into a a frown; Naoto's words made her think about her own relationship for a moment.

"Glad..." she spoke thoughtfully. "He... is definitely not the person I would've chosen to spend a great deal of my life with. He's stubborn, plain stupid at times and the most stereotypical man I've ever met. Yet I love him, which is rather strange if you think about it. Opposites attract? I think so."

She shook her head with a bright smile and looked at Naoto again, still with that smile and thinking of all the decisions her friend had to make. She envied her so much for still being able to keep up; Robin was sure that if she was in Naoto's shoes, she'd break down at one point. "That would be wise. But in the end, it's entirely your decision to make."

Naoto managed a light giggle at the idea of Jyabura being the stereotypical man, because when she thought about it, he could be. She was very happy for Robin, happy that she was able to find someone she loved with all her heart, someone who she would gladly bear children for. The swordswoman wondered vaguely if she would ever be like Robin.

The older woman’s next words were not a comfort even if they were meant to be. Naoto’s smile only faded, and she returned her gaze to the beach. “I know. I just don’t know if I could make it.”

Robin sighed and shuddered at the winter chill, suddenly fully aware about their surroundings and how cold it actually was in her current attire. Her bed seemed very inviting right now, but she couldn't just leave Naoto like that.

"Then don't," she said enigmatically, almost quietly while staring at the ground. "Just see how things go. You don't have to make that choice right now, I'm sure time will tell."

Nodding, Naoto felt a smile return, this one grateful. “Yeah. I think I will.” She turned her smile to Robin, noticed how cold her friend was, and slowly stood. “I’m sorry for keeping you out here in the cold. But… thank you, for everything.”

She looked back at the shore, her smile faltering, but then she tore her gaze away and turned her attention to the Going Merry. Here was a warm welcome, here was a place where she felt safe for the time being. Maybe not safe forever – she couldn’t stay, she knew this – but for now, she could be happy in the company of friends.

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