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tampered2007-03-03 03:52 am
maten-rou.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-03-03 03:52 am
Log, complete
When; March 2nd, night
Rating; R. Definitely. And C for CRACKLOG OF DOOM!
Characters; Kaku [![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rankyaku_raffe] & Jyabura [maten_rou]
Summary; So, how do you kill time effectively until "Married... with children" airs on tv? By browsing porn on the internets, of course! AND FURRY PORN, OUT OF ALL!!!11 OH DEAR LAWD, THE REVELATIONS!!!
Log;
Kaku was sprawled out on Jyabura's sofa with an open bag of chips between his legs. He reach in the bag, grabbing a handful and quickly munching on them before he turn his head on the side, calling through the flat, "Jyabura? Hurry up!" The redhead's eyes return to the small television infront of him, before he take another handful of chips. "And bring the sake~!" he added between bites.
With an annoyed grunt Jyabura left the bathroom, wearing only the usual black pants and a towel around his shoulders, the still wet long hair losely tied in his neck. "I'm not your fucking handmaiden" he growled and opened up a cupboard, fetching two bottles of sake for both of them. "And you better watch your feeding, or you'll get fat" he added with a slight tone of disgust before he sat down next to him and put his feet on the table.
Kaku sat up to give Jyabura more room to sit. "Well, maybe I want to be fat," Kaku said before shovelling another handful of chips in his mouth. "Fatter than Fukurou. Then I will be an obese giraffe, and flatten everything with my enormous stomach."
"Guess you'll always stay a skinny bastard" Jyabura said and handed Kaku out a bottle of sake, then opened his own to take a deep sip. "Actually, I should encourage you to eat more. Eventually you'll really get some muscles" he grinned, took another sip and sighed annoyed. "Sitting here with you getting fat while others have a party. You better start to be entertaining already" he growled and ran a hand through his hair.
Kaku took the bottle of sake from Jyabura and wiped his greasy hand on his turtleneck. "I HAVE muscles, Jyabura," Kaku said as he lift up his shirt. "See? Look at these abs. Grate cheese on them! ... Soft cheese..." Kaku sigh, looking back to the television. "Is Married with Children on yet?"
Jyabura gave Kaku a pitying look. "Very soft cheese, yes. Don't compare them with mine. You'd become depressive" he said. He never really was the guy to be shy with his buff build, and less towards someone skinny like Kaku. "That series with the guy who did four touchdowns in one game? I think so. I love that series. It has chicks in swimsuits quite often" he said before he continued to empty his bottle. "There's still 'Animal Planet', in any case..." he added and leaned back.
Kaku drank his sake, moving the bag of chips off the couch. He sat up on his knees before flopping down against Jyabura. "Animal Planet's always good," Kaku said, his body more or less sprawled across Jyabura's lap. "Maybe there will be something about giraffes," the redhead said with a grin, before drinking more from the bottle. "Although..." he mused, "Chicks in swimsuits is always nice... Kalifa always looked good in a swimsuit - better than any girl I've ever seen! ...I bet you'd look great in a bikini, Jyabura."
"About giraffes getting eaten, maybe" Jyabura grinned, never a great fan of weak herbivores. "By leopards even, maybe!" he added and laughed, took another sip. "So? How many girls in swimsuits have you ever seen, then? If you keep locking yourself in this apartment, you'll never get yourself a girlfriend. And I bet that shinigami friend of yours looks quite hot in a swimsuit or anything" he mused, then gave Kaku a grumpy look. "You wish. Stop telling me your fantasies, you faggot" he mocked the boy playfully. "This is the most naked you'll ever see me" Jyabura said and scratched over the tattoo on his chest.
"Pfft," Kaku snorted, sitting up to take the laptop out from beneath the couch. "I've seen PLENTY of girls in swimsuits!" he said, opening the computer up. "Do you know nothing of the internet?" he asked, as he opened the web browser. "Here, I found this neat website... I don't know what world it's from, but it seems interesting," he said, typing in www.furaffinity.net. ((OOC: This link is so very not worksafe! Or lifesafe! Or safe for anything!))
Jyabura moved closer to Kaku, staring curious at the screen, just slowly understanding what Kaku meant. "What, don't tell me you... you surf porn on the net?! Like a young guy like you needed this! You could have any girl yo-" he started, but then got distracted by what popped up on the screen. "What in the world is this?!" he said and moved even closer, looking at the screen with big eyes and a sceptical look. "Woah hey, but that's a werewolf! Just... why is he... excited and WHY HAS HE A PIERCING IN THIS PLACE?!" he screamed shocked, spilling a good amount of sake while twitching from surprise.
"I think this website comes from a world where there are zoan-users like us!" Kaku said, all too excitedly, as he browse through the recent submissions. "Oh hey, look! A Giraffe!" he said, clicking the image -- bringing up a picture of a giraffe with nine penises raping a female leopard with an apparent weight problem. Kaku was silent, "... That's... that's interesting...."
Jyabura choke in his sake and coughed quite a while. "WHAT IS THIS?!" he screamed, cautiously approaching the screen again, but somehow startled hiding behind Kaku shoulder. Just in case. It took him a while to figure out what in the world was going on on this picture, and the more he got what was happening, the more sweat drops appeared on his pale face. "I-I'm glad I'm not from this world!" he stuttered. "...I bet this is Lucci's mom!" he said when he noticed the flabby leopard creature and burst out in laughter. "What is that, go and check that one out" he said and pointed with his finger on another thumbnail.
"It's nice to know there are other worlds with zoan powers at least!" Kaku said, before clicking on the thumbnail. The giraffe's face froze in horror as the image loaded - it appeared to be a fox that was... inflating his penis. "... This world is... certainly an interesting place..."
Jyabura stared in awkward silence, his expression not less shocked. "Just... what is this... thing doing?" he asked and tilted his head to the side in complete confusion. "...and why is he wearing... diapers?"
"Diapers... and enlarged genitals..." Kaku murmured. "I think I like the powers in OUR world better, don't you agree?" he said, looking over his shoulder to Jyabura, his long nose rubbing against the wolf's cheek.
"At least it doesn't make us do this... sick stuff" Jyabura agreed in disgust, then reached over to browse the archive by himself in an awkward position. "What kind of faggot stuff is this anyways, don't they have some girls?!" he quickly changed the topic, then stumbled upon a pin-up of an anthropomorphic husky lady. "Well... that is one... huge rack" he said, but not really negatively concerned while staring at the screen obviously interested.
"She has sixteen nipples..." Kaku pointed out, leaning back against Jyabura's chest. "What the hell possessed them to give her two human-like breasts... but sixteen nipples? Do dogs even have that many?!"
"Huh?" the wolf replied still distracted. "Oh, what? I don't know. I think not" he said and kept on searching for pictures, preferably of huskies with a healthier amount of nipples. "Look, there is another giraffe" he said after a while, opening the picture and staring in awe for a moment. "Kaku... is that... you?"
Kaku stare, mouth gaping in horror. "Why... WHY IS THAT GIRAFFE DRESSED LIKE ME?" he shouted. "Why... WHY ARE HIS LEGS SPREAD LIKE THAT?! YOU SLUTTY GIRAFFE!!"
Jyabura moved very close to the monitor and stared at the picture with squint eyes. "Man... this is so TOTALLY you! Check it out, plus squarenose and all!" he said and burst in laughter again. "Haha! Oh man! You're so sick, you-" he said, but then noticed something different about that questionable piece of art. "Wait, is that ME?!" he screamed and twitched in horror.
Kaku's hands came up to his face, covering his eyes. "This site is EVIL! It's wrong! NO WINDOWS IN YOUR HOUSE... KILL IT WITH FIRE."
Jyabura quickly closed the laptop and pushed it off Kaku's lap. He'll probably not touch this thing again. Ever. He leaned back and took a very deep sip of sake, sweat running down his face and made him want to shower again. After a long moment of awkward silence and shock, he finally spoke up. "Why do these weird-ass zoans draw pictures of us, Kaku?" He gave Kaku a cautious look from the side. "Doing those... things...?"
"...Maybe they're... predictions of the future?" Kaku asked, looking up to Jyabura. "I mean... these zoans can do all those other... things... I'm sure they can see into other worlds and... predict the future as well..." Kaku shuddered.
He gave the redhead an extremely unbelievable look. "You fucking WISH this was the future!" he shouted and punched Kaku on his arm. "I'm not a fucking faggot!" he said, then suddenly stopped when it came to his mind that there was probably tons of this stuff on the network, made by God knew who. Maybe there were pictures of Robin, too?! Quickly he decided to forget about all this and gazed at Kaku. "This just never happened" he said and finally emptied his bottle. "No word to anyone. And not ever visiting this, this... filth again!"
Kaku leaned in closer to Jyabura, his nose pressed against the man's. "Of course, puppy," he said with a smirk, "My lips are sealed." Kaku proceeded to nuzzle his nose against Jyabura's.
"Though, we should send this one picture to Lucci. To show him what his mum does in her free time" Jyabura smirked as well and pinched Kaku in his sides to make him get off. "Now let me get some more sake. Switch on the damn tv, or we'll miss Kelly Bundy in a mini skirt."
Rating; R. Definitely. And C for CRACKLOG OF DOOM!
Characters; Kaku [
rankyaku_raffe] & Jyabura [maten_rou]Summary; So, how do you kill time effectively until "Married... with children" airs on tv? By browsing porn on the internets, of course! AND FURRY PORN, OUT OF ALL!!!11 OH DEAR LAWD, THE REVELATIONS!!!
Log;
Kaku was sprawled out on Jyabura's sofa with an open bag of chips between his legs. He reach in the bag, grabbing a handful and quickly munching on them before he turn his head on the side, calling through the flat, "Jyabura? Hurry up!" The redhead's eyes return to the small television infront of him, before he take another handful of chips. "And bring the sake~!" he added between bites.
With an annoyed grunt Jyabura left the bathroom, wearing only the usual black pants and a towel around his shoulders, the still wet long hair losely tied in his neck. "I'm not your fucking handmaiden" he growled and opened up a cupboard, fetching two bottles of sake for both of them. "And you better watch your feeding, or you'll get fat" he added with a slight tone of disgust before he sat down next to him and put his feet on the table.
Kaku sat up to give Jyabura more room to sit. "Well, maybe I want to be fat," Kaku said before shovelling another handful of chips in his mouth. "Fatter than Fukurou. Then I will be an obese giraffe, and flatten everything with my enormous stomach."
"Guess you'll always stay a skinny bastard" Jyabura said and handed Kaku out a bottle of sake, then opened his own to take a deep sip. "Actually, I should encourage you to eat more. Eventually you'll really get some muscles" he grinned, took another sip and sighed annoyed. "Sitting here with you getting fat while others have a party. You better start to be entertaining already" he growled and ran a hand through his hair.
Kaku took the bottle of sake from Jyabura and wiped his greasy hand on his turtleneck. "I HAVE muscles, Jyabura," Kaku said as he lift up his shirt. "See? Look at these abs. Grate cheese on them! ... Soft cheese..." Kaku sigh, looking back to the television. "Is Married with Children on yet?"
Jyabura gave Kaku a pitying look. "Very soft cheese, yes. Don't compare them with mine. You'd become depressive" he said. He never really was the guy to be shy with his buff build, and less towards someone skinny like Kaku. "That series with the guy who did four touchdowns in one game? I think so. I love that series. It has chicks in swimsuits quite often" he said before he continued to empty his bottle. "There's still 'Animal Planet', in any case..." he added and leaned back.
Kaku drank his sake, moving the bag of chips off the couch. He sat up on his knees before flopping down against Jyabura. "Animal Planet's always good," Kaku said, his body more or less sprawled across Jyabura's lap. "Maybe there will be something about giraffes," the redhead said with a grin, before drinking more from the bottle. "Although..." he mused, "Chicks in swimsuits is always nice... Kalifa always looked good in a swimsuit - better than any girl I've ever seen! ...I bet you'd look great in a bikini, Jyabura."
"About giraffes getting eaten, maybe" Jyabura grinned, never a great fan of weak herbivores. "By leopards even, maybe!" he added and laughed, took another sip. "So? How many girls in swimsuits have you ever seen, then? If you keep locking yourself in this apartment, you'll never get yourself a girlfriend. And I bet that shinigami friend of yours looks quite hot in a swimsuit or anything" he mused, then gave Kaku a grumpy look. "You wish. Stop telling me your fantasies, you faggot" he mocked the boy playfully. "This is the most naked you'll ever see me" Jyabura said and scratched over the tattoo on his chest.
"Pfft," Kaku snorted, sitting up to take the laptop out from beneath the couch. "I've seen PLENTY of girls in swimsuits!" he said, opening the computer up. "Do you know nothing of the internet?" he asked, as he opened the web browser. "Here, I found this neat website... I don't know what world it's from, but it seems interesting," he said, typing in www.furaffinity.net. ((OOC: This link is so very not worksafe! Or lifesafe! Or safe for anything!))
Jyabura moved closer to Kaku, staring curious at the screen, just slowly understanding what Kaku meant. "What, don't tell me you... you surf porn on the net?! Like a young guy like you needed this! You could have any girl yo-" he started, but then got distracted by what popped up on the screen. "What in the world is this?!" he said and moved even closer, looking at the screen with big eyes and a sceptical look. "Woah hey, but that's a werewolf! Just... why is he... excited and WHY HAS HE A PIERCING IN THIS PLACE?!" he screamed shocked, spilling a good amount of sake while twitching from surprise.
"I think this website comes from a world where there are zoan-users like us!" Kaku said, all too excitedly, as he browse through the recent submissions. "Oh hey, look! A Giraffe!" he said, clicking the image -- bringing up a picture of a giraffe with nine penises raping a female leopard with an apparent weight problem. Kaku was silent, "... That's... that's interesting...."
Jyabura choke in his sake and coughed quite a while. "WHAT IS THIS?!" he screamed, cautiously approaching the screen again, but somehow startled hiding behind Kaku shoulder. Just in case. It took him a while to figure out what in the world was going on on this picture, and the more he got what was happening, the more sweat drops appeared on his pale face. "I-I'm glad I'm not from this world!" he stuttered. "...I bet this is Lucci's mom!" he said when he noticed the flabby leopard creature and burst out in laughter. "What is that, go and check that one out" he said and pointed with his finger on another thumbnail.
"It's nice to know there are other worlds with zoan powers at least!" Kaku said, before clicking on the thumbnail. The giraffe's face froze in horror as the image loaded - it appeared to be a fox that was... inflating his penis. "... This world is... certainly an interesting place..."
Jyabura stared in awkward silence, his expression not less shocked. "Just... what is this... thing doing?" he asked and tilted his head to the side in complete confusion. "...and why is he wearing... diapers?"
"Diapers... and enlarged genitals..." Kaku murmured. "I think I like the powers in OUR world better, don't you agree?" he said, looking over his shoulder to Jyabura, his long nose rubbing against the wolf's cheek.
"At least it doesn't make us do this... sick stuff" Jyabura agreed in disgust, then reached over to browse the archive by himself in an awkward position. "What kind of faggot stuff is this anyways, don't they have some girls?!" he quickly changed the topic, then stumbled upon a pin-up of an anthropomorphic husky lady. "Well... that is one... huge rack" he said, but not really negatively concerned while staring at the screen obviously interested.
"She has sixteen nipples..." Kaku pointed out, leaning back against Jyabura's chest. "What the hell possessed them to give her two human-like breasts... but sixteen nipples? Do dogs even have that many?!"
"Huh?" the wolf replied still distracted. "Oh, what? I don't know. I think not" he said and kept on searching for pictures, preferably of huskies with a healthier amount of nipples. "Look, there is another giraffe" he said after a while, opening the picture and staring in awe for a moment. "Kaku... is that... you?"
Kaku stare, mouth gaping in horror. "Why... WHY IS THAT GIRAFFE DRESSED LIKE ME?" he shouted. "Why... WHY ARE HIS LEGS SPREAD LIKE THAT?! YOU SLUTTY GIRAFFE!!"
Jyabura moved very close to the monitor and stared at the picture with squint eyes. "Man... this is so TOTALLY you! Check it out, plus squarenose and all!" he said and burst in laughter again. "Haha! Oh man! You're so sick, you-" he said, but then noticed something different about that questionable piece of art. "Wait, is that ME?!" he screamed and twitched in horror.
Kaku's hands came up to his face, covering his eyes. "This site is EVIL! It's wrong! NO WINDOWS IN YOUR HOUSE... KILL IT WITH FIRE."
Jyabura quickly closed the laptop and pushed it off Kaku's lap. He'll probably not touch this thing again. Ever. He leaned back and took a very deep sip of sake, sweat running down his face and made him want to shower again. After a long moment of awkward silence and shock, he finally spoke up. "Why do these weird-ass zoans draw pictures of us, Kaku?" He gave Kaku a cautious look from the side. "Doing those... things...?"
"...Maybe they're... predictions of the future?" Kaku asked, looking up to Jyabura. "I mean... these zoans can do all those other... things... I'm sure they can see into other worlds and... predict the future as well..." Kaku shuddered.
He gave the redhead an extremely unbelievable look. "You fucking WISH this was the future!" he shouted and punched Kaku on his arm. "I'm not a fucking faggot!" he said, then suddenly stopped when it came to his mind that there was probably tons of this stuff on the network, made by God knew who. Maybe there were pictures of Robin, too?! Quickly he decided to forget about all this and gazed at Kaku. "This just never happened" he said and finally emptied his bottle. "No word to anyone. And not ever visiting this, this... filth again!"
Kaku leaned in closer to Jyabura, his nose pressed against the man's. "Of course, puppy," he said with a smirk, "My lips are sealed." Kaku proceeded to nuzzle his nose against Jyabura's.
"Though, we should send this one picture to Lucci. To show him what his mum does in her free time" Jyabura smirked as well and pinched Kaku in his sides to make him get off. "Now let me get some more sake. Switch on the damn tv, or we'll miss Kelly Bundy in a mini skirt."
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