Log: Complete

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

When: March 14
Rating: PG?
Characters: Wesley [missingfred] and Illyria [tasteofgrief]
Summary: Wesley has arrived in the City, and Illyria takes it upon herself to locate him.
Log:

For many weeks now, Illyria had been at a loss. Wesley, her guide in a world not her own, was dead, and she had been uprooted yet again. She had not expected to see him again, though she understood well the transience of death. Yet, he was in the City. He seemed confused, still broken. Humans were such fragile things.

Illyria would not say she cared for him, would never say that she cared for anything in the way that humans meant it, but she felt compelled to ensure that he was safe.

Comments

[missingfred.livejournal.com]

Wesley, of course, was still finding it awkward.
He had spoken to a few more people, and had on warmer, cleaner clothes but it was still taking him awhile to adapt.

He stared at it all with the wide-eyed stare of the new, and stayed close by her. Their roles were reversed it was certain.

Illyria was not one for small talk, but Wesley made some anyway.

"I spoke to a few people. This seems an interesting place.."

There was still the unspoken question between them insofar as he was concerned. It haunted him. Did I come here searching for you, or did you want me back and draw me to you?

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

"There is death here, but it is fickle as to its permancy. There are curses, which make one act in ways unnatural." She shook her head as she walked. "As I said, it is not safe, particular for one of your nature. You may stay with me if you like. It makes no difference."

[missingfred.livejournal.com]

Wesley sighed, smiled a little dourly.

It was an annoyance. In the path he had chosen he often found himself walking with beings far, far older than himself.. the aloof indifference of creatures who had watched so many lives rise and fall still struck him a particular sour chord.

"No," he said, "I suppose it doesn't, does it?"

That she found his company pleasing, that was probably the best he would ever get out of her.

And was it mutual? Times were he found himself smiling watching her, seeing the similarities to Fred.

And then she would do something utterly alien, and he would remember with a lurch that Fred was all gone. Only Illyria remained.

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

"Then what is your choice? There are other residences where you may stay. You may prefer such. It is no longer necessary that you remain with me to ensure the safety of the ones you protect. They are not here." She remained impassive as ever, giving no voice to the thought that she was glad he was here, that part of her would prefer that he take lodgings with her, if only so he would be close at hand to give her answers.

[missingfred.livejournal.com]

"I suppose they are not. Still, it seems to be a large city. They may yet turn up. Could be anywhere really." He was unsure.

So many losses. Cordy..Fred.. even Lilah's loss to an extent still shook him.

Was he doomed to a life of such darkness?

"So...you've not yet found anyone worthy? A new Qwa'ha Xahn, was that it?

You had all of Los Angeles to look, and now here as well."

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

"My Qwa'ha Xahn is dead. There will not be another." She had found few of interest in this place. Most who attracted her attention did not hold it. Illyria paused outside the apartment building she had chosen and turned to regard Wesley with a flat stare. "You hope for what is unlikely." She canted her head to one side. "Still ... it is possible. Is that enough for you?"

[missingfred.livejournal.com]

"All that I've ever hoped for has been at the best unlikely." Wesley sighed, "still. It is certainly good to know that you're here. I don't know what I would have done had I landed here and been utterly alone."

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

Illyria almost smiled. "Something foolish, I am certain. Have you made your decision? Will you remain with me for now, or would you prefer a residence of your own? There are many to claim without consequence."

[missingfred.livejournal.com]

"I-"
Wesley stopped, unsure.
He was aware that some part of him still physically ached in her presence. The want for Fred to somehow come back, step out of that blue husk and live for him once more had never left him.

Perhaps it never would.
But Illyria was Illyria and he knew how it had been for her at Wolfram and Hart as well.

He knew what it was to be alone, utterly alone.

Even though she was the one who had taught it to him.

If only there was enough human in her to admit she wanted him to stay with her. But there wasn't, because Illyria was not human.

"I'll stay with you." he sighed.

"After all, I don't know this place at all.

A new start. Perhaps for both of us."

[tasteofgrief.livejournal.com]

She nodded and turned back to the building--number 5. In silence, she led Wesley to the impersonal confines of Apartment 103. "Do as you will with it," she instructed him. Then, for just a moment, she relented, softened, and said, "I find it satisfactory that you are here. This place has given rise to questions that others failed to answer. Perhaps you will not."