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tampered2007-04-11 03:12 pm
manifestwill.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-04-11 03:12 pm
Log - Complete
When: March 27th. Early Morning, 2:00 or 3:00 AM.
Rating: PG.
Characters: chaos [![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
manifestwill] & Rubedo/Jr. [red_dragon_666]
Summary: (Please note: This scene took place before Jr.'s brief departure from the City.) Rubedo/Jr. goes on a walk outside of the Durandal, and is joined some time later by a certain pale-haired companion.
Log:
chaos:
(The forest is lovely, dark and deep, but we have promises to keep.)
Words from a mind troubled, and yet those words live on and come to mean so many things to so many people. It was Jr. who had first introduced him to the profound wonder found in the astute scribblings of old poets, and so it was Jr. he followed now, treading on silent booted feet through undergrowth, dappled moonlight shining on silver hair tinged blue in the nocturnal half-light.
(And miles to go before I sleep.)
This was a place that was very much alive, even in the sleepy silence that was between midnight and the hours before dawn.
Approaching Jr.'s coated back, there was at last evidence of someone's presence; the snap of a twig beneath his tread. "...Mind another?"
Jr./Rubedo:
Jr./Rubedo:
chaos:
Jr./Rubedo:
chaos:
Jr./Rubedo:
chaos:
Jr./Rubedo:
chaos:
(Scene end.)
(The forest is lovely, dark and deep, but we have promises to keep.)
Words from a mind troubled, and yet those words live on and come to mean so many things to so many people. It was Jr. who had first introduced him to the profound wonder found in the astute scribblings of old poets, and so it was Jr. he followed now, treading on silent booted feet through undergrowth, dappled moonlight shining on silver hair tinged blue in the nocturnal half-light.
(And miles to go before I sleep.)
This was a place that was very much alive, even in the sleepy silence that was between midnight and the hours before dawn.
Approaching Jr.'s coated back, there was at last evidence of someone's presence; the snap of a twig beneath his tread. "...Mind another?"
Jr./Rubedo:
It isn't easy, and chaos isn't trying to be stealthy. It's not that Rubedo is inobservant, either--it's just the fact that he's lost in his own thoughts. Isn't it? The perceptive sense the presence of others in a variety of methods. For the psychically sensitive, such as Jr., there is a kind of psychic vibration that accompanies all sentient beings, whether this is consciously observed or not.
The silver-haired youth has often been, in that sense, about as easy to distinguish from anything else as the sky to water so still its surface is a mirror. It's easy to go undetected.
Rubedo's aim will find chaos standing there, looking mildly chagrined. "Sorry," he says soothingly, "It's not like I could've knocked." The last part is a joke. There are nothing but trees and the forest's nocturnal denizens to witness. He steps forward to join the URTV at his side.
"You must have a lot on your mind, to seek silence way out here like this." His tone is quiet, in respect to their surroundings. "Things haven't been easy for you."
chaos didn't answer the question. That's just like him though, isn't it?
The silver-haired youth has often been, in that sense, about as easy to distinguish from anything else as the sky to water so still its surface is a mirror. It's easy to go undetected.
Rubedo's aim will find chaos standing there, looking mildly chagrined. "Sorry," he says soothingly, "It's not like I could've knocked." The last part is a joke. There are nothing but trees and the forest's nocturnal denizens to witness. He steps forward to join the URTV at his side.
"You must have a lot on your mind, to seek silence way out here like this." His tone is quiet, in respect to their surroundings. "Things haven't been easy for you."
chaos didn't answer the question. That's just like him though, isn't it?
Jr./Rubedo:
chaos' blatant avoidance didn't go unnoticed, and it got a sour look that lasted all of two seconds. One simply couldn't stay angry with the supposed teen, really. Besides, it was easy to get distracted with what he was saying rather than what he wasn't.
With another shrug, Rubedo stuck a hand in a pocket. "They never are...for anyone," he quickly added. The last thing Rubedo needed was to be treated like he was self-sacrificing. True, he tended to take the blame for just about everything, but he simply didn't see it that way. Shit happened, it happened to everyone, and he knew a chunk of it was his own damn fault.
His free hand lifted, three fingers held out to view. "Three things are necessary for a human being's salvation. To know what he ought to believe." He dropped a finger. "To know what he ought to desire." The second was dropped. "And to know what he ought to do."
Rubedo's index finger merely curled a bit, then, and he shifted his arm straight ahead, hand jerking a bit as if pulling that imaginary trigger. "Guess I'm pretty screwed, 'cause damn if I know any of that stuff."
With another shrug, Rubedo stuck a hand in a pocket. "They never are...for anyone," he quickly added. The last thing Rubedo needed was to be treated like he was self-sacrificing. True, he tended to take the blame for just about everything, but he simply didn't see it that way. Shit happened, it happened to everyone, and he knew a chunk of it was his own damn fault.
His free hand lifted, three fingers held out to view. "Three things are necessary for a human being's salvation. To know what he ought to believe." He dropped a finger. "To know what he ought to desire." The second was dropped. "And to know what he ought to do."
Rubedo's index finger merely curled a bit, then, and he shifted his arm straight ahead, hand jerking a bit as if pulling that imaginary trigger. "Guess I'm pretty screwed, 'cause damn if I know any of that stuff."
chaos:
Neglecting to be direct in one matter while being vocal for another is his modus operandi. It doesn't mean it's any less frustrating for some people. Jr. has been patient with chaos for many years. The effort is appreciated, just the same.
Of course... Rubedo is the leader (the captain, now). Responsibility lies heavy on those small shoulders. It's no wonder that the URTV chooses to often suffer in silence. It's been his habit. ...So it could be said of running away, but this, this here, could it really be called running?
Or seeking enough silence, enough solitude, to detangle a knot of thoughts and worries and cease neglecting issues that lie closer to the heart of the problem?
Ahh, there. There, you might find the reason chaos has chosen to follow.
It shouldn't surprise chaos to hear the URTV quote Thomas Aquinas, but there's something of an unexpected pleasure in hearing the words of that ancient scholar. This is why the sideways glance to Jr. is sudden, but fond. "The past," chaos says after a stretch of silence, "I've heard it said our memories help define who and what we are. I guess it could be said that your future and my past will do a lot of defining in their own time."
His past, and Jr.'s future is a period that Jr. has not yet experienced. And if he ever does... so much will be answered, and in the answering a thousand more questions revealed. There is so much that is uncertain about that future. It is new, it's never happened before. It lies outside the Eternal Circle.
Of course... Rubedo is the leader (the captain, now). Responsibility lies heavy on those small shoulders. It's no wonder that the URTV chooses to often suffer in silence. It's been his habit. ...So it could be said of running away, but this, this here, could it really be called running?
Or seeking enough silence, enough solitude, to detangle a knot of thoughts and worries and cease neglecting issues that lie closer to the heart of the problem?
Ahh, there. There, you might find the reason chaos has chosen to follow.
It shouldn't surprise chaos to hear the URTV quote Thomas Aquinas, but there's something of an unexpected pleasure in hearing the words of that ancient scholar. This is why the sideways glance to Jr. is sudden, but fond. "The past," chaos says after a stretch of silence, "I've heard it said our memories help define who and what we are. I guess it could be said that your future and my past will do a lot of defining in their own time."
His past, and Jr.'s future is a period that Jr. has not yet experienced. And if he ever does... so much will be answered, and in the answering a thousand more questions revealed. There is so much that is uncertain about that future. It is new, it's never happened before. It lies outside the Eternal Circle.
Jr./Rubedo:
Rubedo merely grunted at first in acknowledgment of having heard his friend's words, but not yet ready to provide an in depth response. As it was, he just dropped that hand and stuffed into a pocket as well, the toe of a boot kicking a stray rock on the not-so-beaten path into a tree.
His memories weren't something that were wholly pleasant, that was for sure. Looking back at his past, he could see a lot of failures, but chaos never said things with the intention of making people feel bad, so he tried to look a little more into it. His past... His failures...
Accomplishments? Lately, at least, he hadn't done a terrible job of protecting his friends... And the Kukai Foundation had been quite the accomplishment in a joint effort with his brother.
With an irritated groan at thinking too much on his past, Rubedo pulled his hands from their pockets to link behind his head. And why was chaos mentioning his past? That was always something that intrigued Rubedo, but chaos was a person he never liked to question too much.
"I just don't want to let anyone down anymore. Feels like... I could do better. Should I give up on trying to bring back Sakura and Elena? Should I just concentrate on first finding a way to return us all to our worlds? Are my priorities messing everyone up? It feels like I just keep letting everyone down... Sakura, Albedo, MOMO, Mary... Just wait, one day I'll fail Gaignun, too, even more than I already have..."
His memories weren't something that were wholly pleasant, that was for sure. Looking back at his past, he could see a lot of failures, but chaos never said things with the intention of making people feel bad, so he tried to look a little more into it. His past... His failures...
Accomplishments? Lately, at least, he hadn't done a terrible job of protecting his friends... And the Kukai Foundation had been quite the accomplishment in a joint effort with his brother.
With an irritated groan at thinking too much on his past, Rubedo pulled his hands from their pockets to link behind his head. And why was chaos mentioning his past? That was always something that intrigued Rubedo, but chaos was a person he never liked to question too much.
"I just don't want to let anyone down anymore. Feels like... I could do better. Should I give up on trying to bring back Sakura and Elena? Should I just concentrate on first finding a way to return us all to our worlds? Are my priorities messing everyone up? It feels like I just keep letting everyone down... Sakura, Albedo, MOMO, Mary... Just wait, one day I'll fail Gaignun, too, even more than I already have..."
chaos:
'Recent' past, or at least, perhaps one day it will be, for Rubedo. Distant, when time means fairly little to beings with quite a lot of grains of sand in their hourglass. Only allusions to, never details. No wonder, then, that some people theorized that chaos couldn't remember his own history; people were usually a lot more obvious if they were suppressing bad memories, and he was so naturally ... nice.
It didn't match up the usual profile, so to speak.
"...Jr.," exhales chaos, looking at his friend. Instantly, that old note of regret is back, where it'd been absent for so long. "There's only so much a single person can do. So you sought out others, you led them. And while you couldn't ultimately save those girls... don't blame yourself for circumstances you couldn't control."
chaos falls silent again for a moment, thoughtfully. "..."
He turns his head away. "You would protect the ones you love with your life, that's the kind of person you are, at heart. To spare them pain, you would draw your gun on any opponent."
"But when you tear yourself apart for falling short of perfection, you aren't just hurting yourself."
When chaos looks again at Jr., he smiles. "You're stronger than you know. Some day, I hope you find peace with yourself."
It didn't match up the usual profile, so to speak.
"...Jr.," exhales chaos, looking at his friend. Instantly, that old note of regret is back, where it'd been absent for so long. "There's only so much a single person can do. So you sought out others, you led them. And while you couldn't ultimately save those girls... don't blame yourself for circumstances you couldn't control."
chaos falls silent again for a moment, thoughtfully. "..."
He turns his head away. "You would protect the ones you love with your life, that's the kind of person you are, at heart. To spare them pain, you would draw your gun on any opponent."
"But when you tear yourself apart for falling short of perfection, you aren't just hurting yourself."
When chaos looks again at Jr., he smiles. "You're stronger than you know. Some day, I hope you find peace with yourself."
Jr./Rubedo:
The topic was making Rubedo a bit uncomfortable, mainly because he knew chaos had a point. "Yeah I know it upsets the girls... I can't help it sometimes, though. Why do you think I do my research on the bridge? They don't need to be around me when I'm like this. This damn place is wearing me out, chaos... Makes me almost miss the gnosis."
Having honestly had enough of this talk, Rubedo shot a sideways grin up at his friend and stopped walking, both hands dropping to settle on his hips. "I know I'm strong! I'm Gaignun Jr.! You realize I was totally taking it easy on you the last time we fought, right?" He knew that wasn't what chaos had meant...
But it was so much easier to pretend.
Having honestly had enough of this talk, Rubedo shot a sideways grin up at his friend and stopped walking, both hands dropping to settle on his hips. "I know I'm strong! I'm Gaignun Jr.! You realize I was totally taking it easy on you the last time we fought, right?" He knew that wasn't what chaos had meant...
But it was so much easier to pretend.
chaos:
chaos' expression goes grave.
"..." He suspects that's part of what this City is about. Closing his eyes while alone, listening to that eternal ticking, he's imagined before that this place is all clockwork, churning away towards some unknown end. The blood and tears of those caught up in it coat the teeth of those gears, and their pain keeps the wheels spinning. Wearing Jr. out, indeed.
He has... a terrible feeling that it's what this City is designed to do. The momentary sobriety changes when Jr. aims a grin in his direction, and a gloved hand goes up to palm his friend's head affectionately.
"Right," chaos jokes, "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
He folds his hands up behind his head, gazing towards the ceiling of the forest. "Have you ever considered leaving this place, finding your way home?"
"..." He suspects that's part of what this City is about. Closing his eyes while alone, listening to that eternal ticking, he's imagined before that this place is all clockwork, churning away towards some unknown end. The blood and tears of those caught up in it coat the teeth of those gears, and their pain keeps the wheels spinning. Wearing Jr. out, indeed.
He has... a terrible feeling that it's what this City is designed to do. The momentary sobriety changes when Jr. aims a grin in his direction, and a gloved hand goes up to palm his friend's head affectionately.
"Right," chaos jokes, "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
He folds his hands up behind his head, gazing towards the ceiling of the forest. "Have you ever considered leaving this place, finding your way home?"
Jr./Rubedo:
Rubedo's shoulders hunched a bit as chaos messed his hair up. As soon as he could, he reached up to run his fingers through his hair before the other's question almost made him go cross-eyed as he was quick to start walking again.
"Every damn day, man!" Another rock was kicked at. "But I don't want to leave the others behind... But it's kinda weird, you know, how the Durandal can be here without the rest of the crew. I mean, they couldn't have all just been left in space."
That mental image made him shudder. That was gross, and just not a possibility. "It brought Mary here by herself, but... I don't think anybody's missing her. Or me. Or MOMO. Gaignun's been here twice, right? He said the first time he went back, it was like he was never gone. I bet a second could pass back home, but it'd be years here. So...maybe I'm already at home, chaos. I'm there and here."
His smile was wry as he watched the ground. "But I know this place can't be a dream. It'd probably be better if it was, but... I don't want it to be." That would mean accepting Elena wasn't real.
"Every damn day, man!" Another rock was kicked at. "But I don't want to leave the others behind... But it's kinda weird, you know, how the Durandal can be here without the rest of the crew. I mean, they couldn't have all just been left in space."
That mental image made him shudder. That was gross, and just not a possibility. "It brought Mary here by herself, but... I don't think anybody's missing her. Or me. Or MOMO. Gaignun's been here twice, right? He said the first time he went back, it was like he was never gone. I bet a second could pass back home, but it'd be years here. So...maybe I'm already at home, chaos. I'm there and here."
His smile was wry as he watched the ground. "But I know this place can't be a dream. It'd probably be better if it was, but... I don't want it to be." That would mean accepting Elena wasn't real.
chaos:
"It isn't a dream," chaos says softly, yet with a kind of confidence that isn't arrogance, but rather, a form of reassurance. "The things we experience here... may seem the stuff of dreams or nightmares, but--" He unfolds his arms from behind his head, turning to regard Jr. steadily. "But this world merely doesn't follow the same rules as ours did. That's all."
But it feels a little like a world created within the Encephalon, just the same. Perhaps that image his heart whispers lies next to the truth without being the truth.
Who can say? Those calling themselves gods, perhaps.
Still subtle, but not so much as to escape even chaos' notice, but there is sign of that impending journey there, in Jr.'s own hand. Something about the edges and tips of fingers suggest a translucency. It is strong willpower and ineffable calm both that smooths chaos' expression to gentle neutrality. "I think important events carry a sort of ... energy. A heartbeat of the universe."
"Sometimes, that energy calls us back. Sometimes, our own worlds overpower the pull of this world, carry us away for a little while."
"Perhaps that is why some return before long, while others..." Are gone forever?
But it feels a little like a world created within the Encephalon, just the same. Perhaps that image his heart whispers lies next to the truth without being the truth.
Who can say? Those calling themselves gods, perhaps.
Still subtle, but not so much as to escape even chaos' notice, but there is sign of that impending journey there, in Jr.'s own hand. Something about the edges and tips of fingers suggest a translucency. It is strong willpower and ineffable calm both that smooths chaos' expression to gentle neutrality. "I think important events carry a sort of ... energy. A heartbeat of the universe."
"Sometimes, that energy calls us back. Sometimes, our own worlds overpower the pull of this world, carry us away for a little while."
"Perhaps that is why some return before long, while others..." Are gone forever?
(Scene end.)
But chaos didn't really seem to be trying, either. He always just...was.
The snap of a twig made his shoulders hunch, and he was quick to spin around with a gun cocked. He was quick to recognize the familiar face, though, and a sigh let out as he slipped the weapon back into it's holster. He almost looked...disappointed.
"Jeez, chaos. I hate it when you do that." Really, Rubedo had intended to go alone... The girls would have been too much of a distraction, really, especially since he would have been worrying about their safety.
chos, though... It never felt like he was intruding. He had a knack for always being welcome that really bugged Rubedo sometimes, but he let it slide, and instead shrugged and shook his head, turning back around to keep trudging in a tacit invitation.
"How long have you been following me?"
chaos: