OPEN;

[wandbreaker]

When; Saturday, January 28th, nighttime
Characters; All are welcome! Open log, just specify if it's an open thread or not or if there are 4th wall rules for your character in the comment or subject line! (4th wallers also welcome~)
Summary; The Blue Light's one chilling hangout; good music, good food, and a spectacularly crabby owner who is even letting in under-18s for the 4th Wall weekend.
Log;

Edmund is actually at work tonight - he hopes a member of his family might show up, but he's also wondering who else might show up. He's made sure that he's well staffed for the extra crowds and well stocked, no less.

He just hopes nothing gets out of control.

And of course, that a member of his family shows up, looking for him.

Comments

[and_identity]

[Ask her about fundamentalists and just watch the obscenity fly.]

No, it's a little more complex than that, but I'll try to make it as user-friendly as I can. He and I, we're personifications of the concept, like you were saying earlier. Life exists, and I'm Life. It's a big-L, little-L distinction, sort of. I'm Life, big-L, and I exist, and so long as I do, life with a little-L does too. Same idea with Death, but with the big and little Ds.

In our capacity as the personifications of the concept, we've got all the powers of our respective concepts at our disposal, but just by existing ourselves, we facilitate their existence in the cosmos. It's...sort of like autopilot, but sort of not. What we do, think of it like breathing. You can control it if you consciously think about it--that's us--but you don't have to think about it for it to happen. That's what's going on right now, while we're on vacation. We're letting them sort of run on autopilot while we're away.

[practicingforhell]

That's gotta make sh-- ...your jobs easier. Why not just stay on vacation?

[and_identity]

It does in some ways, but in others it's a huge pain in the ass.

[She takes a swig of beer, then sets down the bottle a little too hard.]

Because we know what happens if we try. Me by example, Death firsthand. He tried it once, after the motherfuckers who run eternity set him up on the cosmos's worst assignment ever as punishment for too much slacking--which actually had nothing to do with the slacking and everything to do with the fact that they're a pack of gutter-swilling scumbags who've had it out for him since before time existed--and long story short, it got to the point where the pompous bastards were ready to unmake the universe and everything in it if we didn't behave. That's the trouble with the dickweasels who trump us in the hierarchy of the cosmos--the only real weapon they've got against us is the nuclear option, since it's pretty hard to exercise limitless power over all creation in a vacuum where creation doesn't exist.

[She pauses, and then resumes in her usual gentle voice.]

Basically, we have our jobs to do, too. We get vacation time, but we don't get permanent hiatus. It's a balancing act.

[practicingforhell]

Wow.

[He doesn't make it clear if this 'wow' is in response to the consequences of having Life and Death take an extended vacation or Life's delightful vulgarity. It's probably the latter.]

That sucks. [He retrieves a pack of cigarettes from another pocket. Pockets are infinitely handy when traveling between life and death, little 'r' and little 'd.'] You smoke? Or mind if I do?

[and_identity]

[She just smiles.]

That's a bad habit, kiddo. It'll kill you, y'know.

Do pardon my inability to tell the difference between the letters L and R...

[practicingforhell]

I'll take my chances.

[But he doesn't light his cigarette.]

It's all good. o/

[and_identity]

It's not like I couldn't fix any of the damage you did to your lungs, you know, if you did light up. On the other hand, I'm the cynical one, and you kids have free will for a reason. If you want to kill yourselves in all the fun and creative ways your little heads keep persisting in dreaming up, I'm not generally inclined to stop you.

[practicingforhell]

Think it's too late for me to worry about dying from lung cancer, but thanks.

Does it bother you when we use all that free will and creativity to fuck ourselves up?

[and_identity]

If rationalizing it that way makes you happy, then go for it. Sometimes it's just a matter of principle, though.

Sure it does. You think I like watching you do that shit to yourselves? You're like the definition of "why we can't have nice things". We hand you a diamond and we're not even a quarter of the way through telling you how special it is before you've gone and shoved it up your nose. But like I said, it takes all kinds. And for the ones who really fuck it up, there's natural selection.

[practicingforhell]

[Suddenly, getting that nicotine fix doesn't sound so appealing.]

Sorry. I'll try to take better care of that diamond next time.

[and_identity]

Don't feel too bad. A lot of people have fucked it up a lot worse than you. And all of you have the right to make your own mistakes. It just gets a little tedious from my perspective because as a species you have this knack for making the same ones over, and over, and over.

[practicingforhell]

We're real clever that way.

D'you want another drink?

[and_identity]

It doesn't actually do anything for me. Can you imagine if it did? Bad enough I already never hear the end of the platypus thing. If alcohol worked, every single damn thing people thought was strange would be "oh, well, Life must've been pretty tanked when she came up with that one."

On the other hand, it's fun to be charmed and appreciated. So sure, that'd be great. I like it when cute guys buy me drinks.

[practicingforhell]

What's wrong with platypuses?

[Either Life thinks he's cute or she's yanking his chain. Not that it matters. He slides his last bottle of try-to-sneak-back-to-the-afterlife beer her way. (True story: alcohol doesn't travel well between dimensions, at least not when it's hidden in a coat.)]

Death doesn't mind?

[and_identity]

They're mammals that lay eggs and look funny. Yes, I was fucking with you guys when I came up with it. No, it's not funny the trillionth time I hear about it.

[She shrugs, accepting the bottle more as a concession than because she's really thirsty. Because of course, she's not.]

Do you really think you pose a romantic threat to a guy who's going to exist until the end of eternity?

[practicingforhell]

I like 'em okay.

Shit, no. Just don't wanna get in the way if he's a jealous type.