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tampered2007-05-17 01:17 am
elegantorchid.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-05-17 01:17 am
[ completed ] Reunion and angst!
When; After this thread
Rating; PG
Characters; Sakurazuka Subaru [![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ikigainashi] & Mori Ranmaru [elegantorchid]
Summary; Lovers unite... or do they?Subaru is such an uke.
Log;
At the rooftop.
There was no doubt about which one Subaru had meant, and Ranmaru hadn't thought twice about it. Before he knew it, he was heading there, though his steps had lost the eagerness with which he had held earlier. Earlier, before he knew what he knew now, he had been certain that if he would find Subaru back in the city, he'd seek him out and hold him and never let go. When he'd told Okuni this, back home, she'd laughed and told him he was still a boy.
He only wished he'd been allowed to remain one, because what he learned next turned out to be more tensing than he could ever imagine. Two whole years, he held onto the hope of seeing Subaru again. He never thought that not only would the other lose hope of seeing -him- but put himself into a position of his own torment. No wonder he sounded so tense when Ranmaru suggested visiting him.
The city was quiet tonight, and he kept the packs with the gifts Nobunaga and Mitsuhide had sent under an arm, and his own was kept in his belt. Racing over the stairs, he ended up at the very same roof he had been on, that strange evening when he had spoken to the man with the saddest eyes he had ever seen. Eyes he'd never forgotten, even in his dreams when they were apart.
He himself, had grown- perhaps not in appearance, or years, but in wisdom. There was so much more he knew now, combined with what he had learned when he was formerly here. There had been wisdom he had been able to use for Orochi, and how to defeat him... and for that, in a way, he owed the City. But the change was there. Now a General in Nobunaga''s forces, an onmyoujin-in-training for the army's magical division, he had just about everything.
Everything but the one he loved. The one he traveled through time to return to.
He didn't care if he went back home this time. He just wanted to see him.
And so, settling the gifts to a side, he leapt up on the edge of the building's ledge, and looked up towards the moon. Thankfully today was not a curse day... and while it was dangerous for him to be standing where he was, he had nothing to fear.
The only fear he had was never seeing Subaru again, after all. Nothing could be greater.
This wasn't a smart idea in the slightest. It was true that when he had first arrived, some part of Subaru had hoped that maybe Ranmaru was still around...but he had quickly accepted that it was just pointless. And yet here he was again, and the space of time between their arrivals in the City was rather...suspicious.
Coincidence? Subaru didn't believe in that.
So what was this supposed to be? Yet another test? If so, Subaru was failing just by giving in and meeting with him. But his thoughts were jumbled. He was supposed to be focusing on his duties while here.
Keep Seishirou away from Kamui. Mark Seishirou, as ordered by the Kamui of the Angels. Nowhere in those plans was Mori Ranmaru included.
And yet he still found himself walking briskly up the stairwell, and he kept his eyes straight ahead, attempting to ignore the memories. What had happened in this stairwell... Not the first time they had met, but another...and that curse.
His shoulders were stiff as he stepped out onto the rooftop, the gentle breeze rippling his long coat as the door slid shut, and mismatched eyes centered on the slender form poised just on the roof's edge.
It was hard to breathe.
He didn't need to turn around to acknowledge the other's presence. Sometimes, even when they were living together, it was clear that the both of them had a sense for this sort of thing, and it was a given, knowing their talents and personalities. He slowly moved his hands behind his back, keeping his face to the moon and back to him, and whispered,
"You took your own time as always." it was spoken in a calm voice, but there was that edge of teasing Ranmaru occasionally had reserved for Subaru's ears. A side that perhaps only Subaru got to see or hear, and there was magic in some subtle gestures. Then, he slowly turned around, so that he could face the dark-clad man, and what a contrast they may have appeared. Ranmaru's lavender uniform robes, contrasting with Subaru's black. His silver eyes stared calmly back at his lover, though they betrayed how severely his heart had threatened to stop when he saw his face. The same sadness in his eyes, perhaps worse... and his face..
Bending a little, arms still behind him and balancing at that ledge, he gave the other a quiet smile. "Did I interrupt you from anything?"
It would be silly to say that he wasn't feeling a tad nervous about how Ranmaru was teetering on the edge like that, but he trusted the younger warrior's abilities.
The tease did not go over his head, but his expression did not twitch. He would not let himself be happy. He would not let himself feel regret.
"...If you had, I wouldn't have suggested we meet."
Carefully, Subaru took a step closer, gazing at the other and still trying to figure out why fate had decided to do this to him. "You're older now. Two years?"
"Two years in proper terms..." Ranmaru began, pretending to sound very intellectual about this, "Twenty in mental, none in physical." it was the truth, considering his return to his world had sent him back months before the incident of Honnoji, delaying their participation in it by the years that Orochi confused by his little 'accident' and thereby freezing him in the age he shouldn't have properly reached.
As agile as a tightrope walker, he turned around calmly, pacing the ledge, nodding his head once, then smiling as he turned around quickly, then leapt down, standing up straight, and grabbing the box carrying Nobunaga and Mitsuhide's present (it was a beautiful antique, a polished ebony tile cover, decorated with a sumi-e of a peacock under a willow, standing by a lake on the lid - amusingly, it would resemble a pretty thick laptop if one had to describe it as such) and held it out to Subaru.
"Well, none of that. Here. This is from my Lords, to you." he smiled politely, then knelt before Subaru as he would to his lords, holding out the box as an offering of sorts. It wasn't too heavy, but not too light either. "Handle it with care and do not fear it. My Lords thought well before choosing this." he added. Inside. Subaru would find a mirror of black polished glass, though he would not see his reflection in it if he held it up. It was decorated well, with symbols crafted into it's frame, and it was big enough -to- reflect a face if one wished to use it as such. He waited until Subaru would take the box, before standing up.
Ranmaru kneeling like that made him immensely uncomfortable. It wasn't often he met someone who was even more formal than himself, so when he did it always caught him off guard.
But it wasn't just the formal actions, but the fact that it was offering far too much respect to Subaru. He certainly didn't deserve such, but to comment on that would have been beyond rude, not to mention pointless, considering who he was talking to.
So he accepted the gift and bowed his head in thanks before stepping back and observing the box. It was truly a thing of beauty, and would have made a fine gift just by itself, but he could tell something was inside.
When he opened it, Subaru was actually a bit surprised at what he saw, and he refrained from pulling the mirror out, despite knowing his gloves would protect it from fingerprints.
He was quick to understand what it was meant for, and after admiring the craftsmanship for a moment, he let the box slide closed before shutting his eyes and allowing himself to bow yet again, though a bit more deeply this time.
"I'll cherish it. Should you see them again, please pass on my thanks to your lords."
The present in question had been selected very carefully and gained with even more difficulty (though with Kanegetsu's aid, it wasn't as difficult, even though Kanegetsu fought on an opposing side than the Oda) and all three of them had agreed that it would be perfect. "They will be honored to hear from you, Subaru-san, if they are to be met with again." he bowed as well, smiling a little more this time as he stood back up and raised a hand to comb back his bangs idly, before letting his hand drop to his side. "If you haven't recognized it already, the black glass comes from the foot of Fuji-sama, where Abe no Seimei blessed the ground itself. It is famed for it's scrying properties, and used by many a seer. Only one with the knowledge of it can use it to unfog lies, see entities that our eyes deceive us into ignoring, and also act as a silent guard over those we wish to protect." he chuckled, then fell silent, merely keeping his gaze on the other man's.
It was Ranmaru's way of 'moving on' from something that upset him, something that couldn't be changed. If he was hurting for Subaru, it didn't show in his face. He merely smiled, albeit a bit more sadly now, then took a step forward and raised his hand as though about to touch Subaru's face, but instead, moved to pinch his nose and hold the tip, moving another hand to his hip as he leaned forward.
"Mou, this is unfair. After all this time, you are still taller." he smiled and let go of his nose, shaking his head. Then, he fell silent again, before glancing to a side. Then, in a soft voice, he whispered, "Forgive me, for not seeking you out sooner. This person has no excuse for not doing that."
He could tell that the mirror was for scrying, but he hadn't been able to tell precisely where and how the glass had come to be. That special touch warmed his heart, and it...hurt.
Before he could properly respond, though, he was shocked to find Ranmaru teasing yet again, altering the mood in that magical way that he always managed to do. If he'd been able to, it would have made him smile. Instead he just shook his head a bit and twitched his nose once he was free.
The proximity of the closeness was far too much for his liking, and he stepped back, though it was such a smooth transition that a normal person might not have noticed.
"...I'm afraid I stopped looking after a month."
That made sense. In all probability, something had caused them to split, sending them back to their own times. Ranmaru had looked into it, wondering why he had come back to his own time, when he had done everything as he had thought would be right. And that was the one time he had actually regretted leaving with his Lord-- Mitsuhide's desire to return home, along with Ranmaru's being from the same, had collided and played a stronger role in taking them from their original point of origin.
He merely nodded to the words. "A wise decision, when I would not be found in that time." As subtle as it was, Ranmaru wasn't normal where it came to noticing even the faintest of gestures. So used to being aware of Nobunaga's movements down to the flicker of his gaze, being able to read it to tell what he needed and wanted, that Subaru's action practically yelled to him. And that, was what confused the boy. Did this indicate that their time together was about to become his fear?
He lowered his head, almost as though he was feeling bashful for a bit, then moved a hand to the back of his neck, and he tilted his face up to look at Subaru's face. So empty, so repressed. Just what was this Kamui putting him through for him to become this? Lowering his hand, the smile vanished and he sighed, shaking his head. "Why, Subaru-san? Why did you go back?" it was clear he wasn't asking about why he went back to -his- world, but why he reverted back to his dark, gloomy self. To add to it, he whispered, "I... never forgot you for a single moment."
Subaru did not like to upset Ranmaru, but there was no way he could soften his words. What they had once...they couldn't have again. Before, he knew that it had been destructive to Ranmaru, but had been too selfish and weak to do anything about it.
This new chance allowed something more. It allowed closure. He had experienced time apart, and now they could finally talk. Now Subaru could express just why they could never meet in private again.
And yet when he tried, nothing could come out. His expression wavered, and Subaru tightened his grip on the box. With his brow furrowed, and his lips trembling, it seemed like he just might break down...but then he seemed to regain his sense, and Subaru's chin lifted.
"I accepted my destiny. I chose to understand my place. It's time that you stop fighting fate...and learn your place."
If there was any hurt from his words, Ranmaru didn't show it. He was a soldier, above all things, and he was a warrior through and through. He could see what Subaru was doing, though whether it benefited him or protected Ranmaru, he couldn't tell. Perhaps it was neither, perhaps Subaru had truly given up on him. He didn't blame him, he wouldn't. It wasn't his fault. Any normal human would have given up after a week. Thanks to their possible abnormalities, it was a bit more longer than that...
But it didn't change how he felt in the end, did it.
"Your place, is it?" he repeated softly.
"A place where there is no light to fill the darkness. A place where there is only misery for you, and those that surround you. That is your place?" Ranmaru never raised his voice. He merely watched Subaru, his gaze silent, and then his voice dropping into a soft whisper of concern.
"Fate and destiny are created by the hands of man. They can be shattered just as easily." /I changed mine. I lived. I still live. Why... why can you not?/
His gaze wandered downward, traveling over the outfit of Ranmaru's that was different from before, but still every bit a part of him. New, and yet old. The wisdom sometimes...hurt.
Stepping back again, he bowed a bit, voice barely a whisper over the warm breeze. "I have made my choice. You are not a part of it. Thank you for your concern."
Casting him a look he dared not to make remorseful, Subaru turned and walked back to the door.
He didn't believe a word of it. It was more than denial, and more than selfishness, and he reached out with a hand, clamping it over the other man's shoulder. He didn't waste any time, the strength he had gained further over the years was showing in his hold, further revealing his fragile appearance to be nothing more than a ruse. For the briefest moment, his eyes flashed with determination, then clasping the darker-clad man's collar, he tugged him back, lifting himself off his feet on tiptoe and his other hand touching the other's cheek.
His movements were fluid, and within seconds, his mouth was pressed against Subaru's, his hand holding him firmly there. He didn't care what came after this, and it hurt his heart when their lips touched.
So cold. / Deny it all you want. I haven't forgotten I love you./
The contact made him freeze, and he clutched the box so tightly that the edges dug through his gloves, bruising his fingers. A breath couldn't leave him then, and for just a moment he felt the tears well up.
Ranmaru had always been something of a bright ray of hope. That...that had caused nothing but pain in the end. In the end, hopes crashed, and everything died. Subaru no longer wanted to hope, and he no longer wanted to care. He just wanted stability...to know his place. His place as the Sakurazukamori did not place him here.
But still, he did not react immediately. He merely stood there, hunched over and remembering the feel of those lips....just for a few moments...before sense was regained, and he yanked away with all his might, steeling himself with as cold of a look as he could deliver. But the misery could not be hidden.
"No," he choked out before running, the hard metal door slamming with a force behind him as he fled away from Ranmaru, and away from hope.
It was beautiful for the moments in which it lasted, and for that, as he had told Subaru, he would accept it as gift enough. He had expected the shove, he had expected the coldness... and while he had not expected the sadness, he wasn't surprised to see it. In the fleeting moments that his eyes did open and catch the look on Subaru's face, his decision was made.
"No." he was being held back, repressed... by himself, or an external force? He couldn't tell and it hurt him on realizing that. Watching, as though in slow motion, his hand remained outstretched until the other man raced away. He remained where he was, but his heart had once more flown with Subaru.
"You fool." he whispered to the air, before he drew his hand back to his chest and held it in a fist against his heart, the seal burning against the inside of his gloves as the scent of sakura took him. Subaru's scent.
You're no one's in the end..
But I am yours. Please never forget.
Rating; PG
Characters; Sakurazuka Subaru [
ikigainashi] & Mori Ranmaru [elegantorchid] Summary; Lovers unite... or do they?
Log;
At the rooftop.
There was no doubt about which one Subaru had meant, and Ranmaru hadn't thought twice about it. Before he knew it, he was heading there, though his steps had lost the eagerness with which he had held earlier. Earlier, before he knew what he knew now, he had been certain that if he would find Subaru back in the city, he'd seek him out and hold him and never let go. When he'd told Okuni this, back home, she'd laughed and told him he was still a boy.
He only wished he'd been allowed to remain one, because what he learned next turned out to be more tensing than he could ever imagine. Two whole years, he held onto the hope of seeing Subaru again. He never thought that not only would the other lose hope of seeing -him- but put himself into a position of his own torment. No wonder he sounded so tense when Ranmaru suggested visiting him.
The city was quiet tonight, and he kept the packs with the gifts Nobunaga and Mitsuhide had sent under an arm, and his own was kept in his belt. Racing over the stairs, he ended up at the very same roof he had been on, that strange evening when he had spoken to the man with the saddest eyes he had ever seen. Eyes he'd never forgotten, even in his dreams when they were apart.
He himself, had grown- perhaps not in appearance, or years, but in wisdom. There was so much more he knew now, combined with what he had learned when he was formerly here. There had been wisdom he had been able to use for Orochi, and how to defeat him... and for that, in a way, he owed the City. But the change was there. Now a General in Nobunaga''s forces, an onmyoujin-in-training for the army's magical division, he had just about everything.
Everything but the one he loved. The one he traveled through time to return to.
He didn't care if he went back home this time. He just wanted to see him.
And so, settling the gifts to a side, he leapt up on the edge of the building's ledge, and looked up towards the moon. Thankfully today was not a curse day... and while it was dangerous for him to be standing where he was, he had nothing to fear.
The only fear he had was never seeing Subaru again, after all. Nothing could be greater.
This wasn't a smart idea in the slightest. It was true that when he had first arrived, some part of Subaru had hoped that maybe Ranmaru was still around...but he had quickly accepted that it was just pointless. And yet here he was again, and the space of time between their arrivals in the City was rather...suspicious.
Coincidence? Subaru didn't believe in that.
So what was this supposed to be? Yet another test? If so, Subaru was failing just by giving in and meeting with him. But his thoughts were jumbled. He was supposed to be focusing on his duties while here.
Keep Seishirou away from Kamui. Mark Seishirou, as ordered by the Kamui of the Angels. Nowhere in those plans was Mori Ranmaru included.
And yet he still found himself walking briskly up the stairwell, and he kept his eyes straight ahead, attempting to ignore the memories. What had happened in this stairwell... Not the first time they had met, but another...and that curse.
His shoulders were stiff as he stepped out onto the rooftop, the gentle breeze rippling his long coat as the door slid shut, and mismatched eyes centered on the slender form poised just on the roof's edge.
It was hard to breathe.
He didn't need to turn around to acknowledge the other's presence. Sometimes, even when they were living together, it was clear that the both of them had a sense for this sort of thing, and it was a given, knowing their talents and personalities. He slowly moved his hands behind his back, keeping his face to the moon and back to him, and whispered,
"You took your own time as always." it was spoken in a calm voice, but there was that edge of teasing Ranmaru occasionally had reserved for Subaru's ears. A side that perhaps only Subaru got to see or hear, and there was magic in some subtle gestures. Then, he slowly turned around, so that he could face the dark-clad man, and what a contrast they may have appeared. Ranmaru's lavender uniform robes, contrasting with Subaru's black. His silver eyes stared calmly back at his lover, though they betrayed how severely his heart had threatened to stop when he saw his face. The same sadness in his eyes, perhaps worse... and his face..
Bending a little, arms still behind him and balancing at that ledge, he gave the other a quiet smile. "Did I interrupt you from anything?"
It would be silly to say that he wasn't feeling a tad nervous about how Ranmaru was teetering on the edge like that, but he trusted the younger warrior's abilities.
The tease did not go over his head, but his expression did not twitch. He would not let himself be happy. He would not let himself feel regret.
"...If you had, I wouldn't have suggested we meet."
Carefully, Subaru took a step closer, gazing at the other and still trying to figure out why fate had decided to do this to him. "You're older now. Two years?"
"Two years in proper terms..." Ranmaru began, pretending to sound very intellectual about this, "Twenty in mental, none in physical." it was the truth, considering his return to his world had sent him back months before the incident of Honnoji, delaying their participation in it by the years that Orochi confused by his little 'accident' and thereby freezing him in the age he shouldn't have properly reached.
As agile as a tightrope walker, he turned around calmly, pacing the ledge, nodding his head once, then smiling as he turned around quickly, then leapt down, standing up straight, and grabbing the box carrying Nobunaga and Mitsuhide's present (it was a beautiful antique, a polished ebony tile cover, decorated with a sumi-e of a peacock under a willow, standing by a lake on the lid - amusingly, it would resemble a pretty thick laptop if one had to describe it as such) and held it out to Subaru.
"Well, none of that. Here. This is from my Lords, to you." he smiled politely, then knelt before Subaru as he would to his lords, holding out the box as an offering of sorts. It wasn't too heavy, but not too light either. "Handle it with care and do not fear it. My Lords thought well before choosing this." he added. Inside. Subaru would find a mirror of black polished glass, though he would not see his reflection in it if he held it up. It was decorated well, with symbols crafted into it's frame, and it was big enough -to- reflect a face if one wished to use it as such. He waited until Subaru would take the box, before standing up.
Ranmaru kneeling like that made him immensely uncomfortable. It wasn't often he met someone who was even more formal than himself, so when he did it always caught him off guard.
But it wasn't just the formal actions, but the fact that it was offering far too much respect to Subaru. He certainly didn't deserve such, but to comment on that would have been beyond rude, not to mention pointless, considering who he was talking to.
So he accepted the gift and bowed his head in thanks before stepping back and observing the box. It was truly a thing of beauty, and would have made a fine gift just by itself, but he could tell something was inside.
When he opened it, Subaru was actually a bit surprised at what he saw, and he refrained from pulling the mirror out, despite knowing his gloves would protect it from fingerprints.
He was quick to understand what it was meant for, and after admiring the craftsmanship for a moment, he let the box slide closed before shutting his eyes and allowing himself to bow yet again, though a bit more deeply this time.
"I'll cherish it. Should you see them again, please pass on my thanks to your lords."
The present in question had been selected very carefully and gained with even more difficulty (though with Kanegetsu's aid, it wasn't as difficult, even though Kanegetsu fought on an opposing side than the Oda) and all three of them had agreed that it would be perfect. "They will be honored to hear from you, Subaru-san, if they are to be met with again." he bowed as well, smiling a little more this time as he stood back up and raised a hand to comb back his bangs idly, before letting his hand drop to his side. "If you haven't recognized it already, the black glass comes from the foot of Fuji-sama, where Abe no Seimei blessed the ground itself. It is famed for it's scrying properties, and used by many a seer. Only one with the knowledge of it can use it to unfog lies, see entities that our eyes deceive us into ignoring, and also act as a silent guard over those we wish to protect." he chuckled, then fell silent, merely keeping his gaze on the other man's.
It was Ranmaru's way of 'moving on' from something that upset him, something that couldn't be changed. If he was hurting for Subaru, it didn't show in his face. He merely smiled, albeit a bit more sadly now, then took a step forward and raised his hand as though about to touch Subaru's face, but instead, moved to pinch his nose and hold the tip, moving another hand to his hip as he leaned forward.
"Mou, this is unfair. After all this time, you are still taller." he smiled and let go of his nose, shaking his head. Then, he fell silent again, before glancing to a side. Then, in a soft voice, he whispered, "Forgive me, for not seeking you out sooner. This person has no excuse for not doing that."
He could tell that the mirror was for scrying, but he hadn't been able to tell precisely where and how the glass had come to be. That special touch warmed his heart, and it...hurt.
Before he could properly respond, though, he was shocked to find Ranmaru teasing yet again, altering the mood in that magical way that he always managed to do. If he'd been able to, it would have made him smile. Instead he just shook his head a bit and twitched his nose once he was free.
The proximity of the closeness was far too much for his liking, and he stepped back, though it was such a smooth transition that a normal person might not have noticed.
"...I'm afraid I stopped looking after a month."
That made sense. In all probability, something had caused them to split, sending them back to their own times. Ranmaru had looked into it, wondering why he had come back to his own time, when he had done everything as he had thought would be right. And that was the one time he had actually regretted leaving with his Lord-- Mitsuhide's desire to return home, along with Ranmaru's being from the same, had collided and played a stronger role in taking them from their original point of origin.
He merely nodded to the words. "A wise decision, when I would not be found in that time." As subtle as it was, Ranmaru wasn't normal where it came to noticing even the faintest of gestures. So used to being aware of Nobunaga's movements down to the flicker of his gaze, being able to read it to tell what he needed and wanted, that Subaru's action practically yelled to him. And that, was what confused the boy. Did this indicate that their time together was about to become his fear?
He lowered his head, almost as though he was feeling bashful for a bit, then moved a hand to the back of his neck, and he tilted his face up to look at Subaru's face. So empty, so repressed. Just what was this Kamui putting him through for him to become this? Lowering his hand, the smile vanished and he sighed, shaking his head. "Why, Subaru-san? Why did you go back?" it was clear he wasn't asking about why he went back to -his- world, but why he reverted back to his dark, gloomy self. To add to it, he whispered, "I... never forgot you for a single moment."
Subaru did not like to upset Ranmaru, but there was no way he could soften his words. What they had once...they couldn't have again. Before, he knew that it had been destructive to Ranmaru, but had been too selfish and weak to do anything about it.
This new chance allowed something more. It allowed closure. He had experienced time apart, and now they could finally talk. Now Subaru could express just why they could never meet in private again.
And yet when he tried, nothing could come out. His expression wavered, and Subaru tightened his grip on the box. With his brow furrowed, and his lips trembling, it seemed like he just might break down...but then he seemed to regain his sense, and Subaru's chin lifted.
"I accepted my destiny. I chose to understand my place. It's time that you stop fighting fate...and learn your place."
If there was any hurt from his words, Ranmaru didn't show it. He was a soldier, above all things, and he was a warrior through and through. He could see what Subaru was doing, though whether it benefited him or protected Ranmaru, he couldn't tell. Perhaps it was neither, perhaps Subaru had truly given up on him. He didn't blame him, he wouldn't. It wasn't his fault. Any normal human would have given up after a week. Thanks to their possible abnormalities, it was a bit more longer than that...
But it didn't change how he felt in the end, did it.
"Your place, is it?" he repeated softly.
"A place where there is no light to fill the darkness. A place where there is only misery for you, and those that surround you. That is your place?" Ranmaru never raised his voice. He merely watched Subaru, his gaze silent, and then his voice dropping into a soft whisper of concern.
"Fate and destiny are created by the hands of man. They can be shattered just as easily." /I changed mine. I lived. I still live. Why... why can you not?/
His gaze wandered downward, traveling over the outfit of Ranmaru's that was different from before, but still every bit a part of him. New, and yet old. The wisdom sometimes...hurt.
Stepping back again, he bowed a bit, voice barely a whisper over the warm breeze. "I have made my choice. You are not a part of it. Thank you for your concern."
Casting him a look he dared not to make remorseful, Subaru turned and walked back to the door.
He didn't believe a word of it. It was more than denial, and more than selfishness, and he reached out with a hand, clamping it over the other man's shoulder. He didn't waste any time, the strength he had gained further over the years was showing in his hold, further revealing his fragile appearance to be nothing more than a ruse. For the briefest moment, his eyes flashed with determination, then clasping the darker-clad man's collar, he tugged him back, lifting himself off his feet on tiptoe and his other hand touching the other's cheek.
His movements were fluid, and within seconds, his mouth was pressed against Subaru's, his hand holding him firmly there. He didn't care what came after this, and it hurt his heart when their lips touched.
So cold. / Deny it all you want. I haven't forgotten I love you./
The contact made him freeze, and he clutched the box so tightly that the edges dug through his gloves, bruising his fingers. A breath couldn't leave him then, and for just a moment he felt the tears well up.
Ranmaru had always been something of a bright ray of hope. That...that had caused nothing but pain in the end. In the end, hopes crashed, and everything died. Subaru no longer wanted to hope, and he no longer wanted to care. He just wanted stability...to know his place. His place as the Sakurazukamori did not place him here.
But still, he did not react immediately. He merely stood there, hunched over and remembering the feel of those lips....just for a few moments...before sense was regained, and he yanked away with all his might, steeling himself with as cold of a look as he could deliver. But the misery could not be hidden.
"No," he choked out before running, the hard metal door slamming with a force behind him as he fled away from Ranmaru, and away from hope.
It was beautiful for the moments in which it lasted, and for that, as he had told Subaru, he would accept it as gift enough. He had expected the shove, he had expected the coldness... and while he had not expected the sadness, he wasn't surprised to see it. In the fleeting moments that his eyes did open and catch the look on Subaru's face, his decision was made.
"No." he was being held back, repressed... by himself, or an external force? He couldn't tell and it hurt him on realizing that. Watching, as though in slow motion, his hand remained outstretched until the other man raced away. He remained where he was, but his heart had once more flown with Subaru.
"You fool." he whispered to the air, before he drew his hand back to his chest and held it in a fist against his heart, the seal burning against the inside of his gloves as the scent of sakura took him. Subaru's scent.
You're no one's in the end..
But I am yours. Please never forget.