Log; Complete

[caged-song.livejournal.com]

When; May 13, afternoon-ish {backdated!}
Rating; G
Characters; Joshua [apostleofhope] and Nill [caged_song]
Summary; Joshua and Nill go out for a little date filled with awkward fluff and ends in a confession and a painful parting for the day.
Log;

Nill floundered down the street, trying to keep step with Joshua. She had grown, but she guessed she still possessed a petite figure.

She flustered by his side, wings fluttering slightly to accentuate her worry that the various bags he carried were too troublesome. The bags contained several dresses picked out by the two and several accessories as well. She really should have helped pick something out for Joshua in return but the shop they had gone to was filled to the brim with dresses...so there hadn't really been much opportunity to choose anything for him.

Holding out her hands, she gestured that she'd willingly carry one of the bags if he'd let her. It really did look like a hassle to carry all that...

Joshua had never really had a chance to pick out pretty dresses for a girl before. Rosette wasn't exactly feminine, so she didn't have a large wardrobe, and shopping with your sister just wasn't very fun, anyway.

He had a feeling that maybe he ought to stay at the Opera House just to keep an eye on her, since the curse had reverted her back to a child, but she was being so loud and annoying about a fort, and that just didn't interest him like it used to. It seemed like everybody had the children under control, anyway.

And besides, it wasn't like he got to see Nill like this every day. This was a once in a lifetime chance, and he wanted to spend as much of the day as he could with her.

Of course, his cheeks were flushed each time he glanced over to her in the dress she was wearing. She really was so curvy... It was hard not to stare, but he did his best.

When he saw her gesture, the teenager was quick to shake his head and smile. "Don't worry. These aren't heavy. Ever since I've given up my powers, I feel a lot healthier. Did you still want to get ice cream?"

Nill nodded with a smile. Ice cream sounded like a good idea, she had wanted to try the Neapolitan...or however you spelled it...type ice cream. Adam had informed her that it had chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. She hadn't had a chance to try chocolate or strawberry ice cream so it would be a nice change. Ice cream shops did have that flavor...right? And after she'd had it, then the girl would be sure she wouldn't have any trouble finding it again.

The girl followed Joshua closely, just enough to make sure that if he needed help at any moment, that she'd be there for him, or if he grew tired she could quickly relieve him of his burden.

It was amazing to him, really, how a girl could be so curvaceous and beautiful and still have such sweet and gentle qualities. She was the complete opposite of Rosette, and while he admitted to loving and being very protective of his sister, her qualities weren't the most attractive in a female. It was a wonder she got along so well with Chrno.

Thinking back on Chrno dampened his spirits for a moment until he glanced over again, this time catching their reflection in a shop window as they passed. They looked...not bad together.

Immediately, he looked back ahead, cheeks bright red as he sped up a bit to locate an ice cream shop. "S-sorry Rosette was so rude to you earlier. I guess she was kind of a brat as a kid... We both were, really, but I had to be in bed most of the time so I didn't really get a chance to pull as many pranks as her."

Slightly frightened and his slight change in pace, Nill quickly caught on and linked her arm around his. The incident that occurred earlier that morning had her slightly on the edge. It wasn't pleasant to find strangers approaching her early in the morning with a frightening expression on their face so similar to Melvin Scrooge's. Her wings fluttered nervously as she tried to pay attention to what Joshua had said.

She shook her head lightly. Nill would never have guessed that Rosette had acted that way when she was younger. And Joshua had acted similarly when he was younger? The girl had trouble imagining it...Did siblings usually do that type of thing?

When he felt her touch, he resisted the urge to jump in surprise, and glanced down to where her arm linked with his. Willing himself to calm down, Joshua's smile wobbled a bit as he looked back up to her.

But she...didn't look happy. Was she scared of something?

Suddenly worried, the boy looked behind them really quickly, then ahead of them, then back to her. Oh, he bet he knew what the issue was... Perverts. And of course, he was acting no better.

Mentally scolding himself, he stopped staring and looked straight ahead. "Don't worry. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. ...Ah, look! The ice cream shop." Shifting the bags to one hand, he lifted the other to grab the door and pull it open for her to enter first.

Nill nodded, reassured, and gave a thank you smile to Joshua as he graciously opened the door for her. Stepping inside, she looked curiously at the counter. There seemed to be a lot of flavors available, how were people ever able to pick a favorite out of so many choices?

The girl twirled around, and helped to keep the door open from the inside for Joshua.

He wasn't a pervert, he wasn't a pervert, he was--

He was staring.

She had spun like that, and the skirt had twirled, and her legs had shown off just the slightest, and... Ugh. Joshua was rather disgusted with himself, and he hung his head a bit as he walked in and glanced around to the others, hoping nobody would try to hit on Nill. Well, it wasn't like this was some slummy bar. It seemed to be full of girls and couples, so that was good.

"...Um. What's your favorite flavor? They have parfaits, too..."

Nill tilted her head, had...had Joshua just stared at her? Had she done something wrong? The girl peered down her dress, it fit fine and it didn't seem like anything was sticking out, like a loose tag or anything...Now that she was older, she wasn't all that different...was she?

The only difference that she could think of was that her hips had widened, she had grown taller, her hair longer, her wings just a little bit bigger, and her chest heavier and rounder...Nothing...too abnormal...?

She let the thought go, attention easily diverted to the ice cream. Favorite flavor? She had never really had one...after all she had only tried Vanilla...Nill tilted her head at the other suggested item. Parfait?

She seemed so curious about the mention of a parfait... Or was she telling him that she didn't like them? It was hard to figure out what she was trying to say sometimes, but he knew that she had been studying sign language... Maybe he needed to start learning it, too.

"Here... Sit down." Joshua set the shopping bags down off to the side of a table, and then pulled out a chair for her to sit in. Once she sat down, he went up to the counter to get a menu, then pulled out the seat next to Nill's so he could sit beside her.

Pushing the menu in front of her, he watched her carefully. "Why don't you point out which ones you've had?"

She peered at the menu, scanning the pictures and words for the only one she had ever tried. Her blue eyes quickly found what she was looking for. Vanilla was one of the basic flavors of ice cream and wasn’t hard to find. Nill pointed at it and looked up at Joshua. That was the only flavor she had had...

Joshua blinked and looked at where she pointed, then back up at her, expecting her finger to move elsewhere, and yet...it didn't. "You're...kidding, right?"

He looked back at the menu and cracked a smile, then sat back and just let the laughter flow. When he realized it might be offensive, the boy clapped a hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking as he tried to quiet. "Oh...jeez... I can't believe it! How has nobody taken a cute girl like you out to ice cream before? Here, I bet you'd like...strawberry flavor..."

Reaching out to pull the menu a little closer to him, Joshua tapped a finger against the table before pointing to a picture of a fancy parfait that had vanilla and chocolate ice cream with strawberries, strawberry sauce, and chocolate shavings. "Does that look good?"

Nill was quite surprised by his sudden burst of laughter. W-Was...was it really that funny? She flustered slightly, although she did enjoy the sound of Joshua's laughter. It was rich and resembled a sweet sort of melody. She silently wondered what her own laugh would have sounded like...

The girl peered curiously to take a look at the item Joshua suggested. She smiled and nodded, her eyes bright. It looked extremely yummy.

Grinning, Joshua quickly lifted his arm to flag down the waitress. When she came by, he held up the menu and pointed enthusiastically. "The number twelve, please, and I'll have the um... I'll just have a sundae, minus the cherry. And maybe some lemonade? Thank you."

He held out the menu for the waitress to take before looking back to Nill. "I'm sure you'll like it. If not, we can just trade or something."

Nill nodded, she was sure she'd like it, after all Joshua had chosen it, and he had a pretty good idea of what she liked and didn't like...The same couldn't be said about how much she knew about the things that Joshua liked...she knew he didn't like vegetables...that was a start...wasn't it?

Realizing she was still slightly leaning over his arm, she straightened up a bit to give Joshua some space.

Joshua wasn't even conscious of how close she was until she leaned back, and he cleared his throat rather suddenly before staring at her again. This time, at least, he was looking right at her face.

Heart beat incredibly erratic, he nervously dug his nails into the table cloth. "You know you're...really beautiful like this..." Quickly, he realized how that could be taken wrong, and shot up both hands to wave in front of his face.

"I mean...! You were pretty before... Really pretty! And c-cute, but now um... No that you're closer to my age, like a woman, you..." So embarrassed he was positive he could die any moment, he dropped his hands down to the table and stared at them, his neck feeling hot from how hard he was blushing.

"You're really...really something..."

Nill blinked, stunned by what she thought she had heard. Was she hearing right? Before she knew it, her face had turned a light shade of pink. She didn't know what to say really, and not being able to speak didn't open up many choices...

The girl smiled softly, taking one of his hands and holding it in hers, she nodded a thank you. She meant it in a friendly way...but her face was hot and the blush had not faded from her cheeks.

Right then, he thought perhaps he had just died and gone to heaven. Her hands were so soft. Shyly, he glanced to the side at her face, and her smile and her own blush confused him a bit, but it was only natural for such a reaction to light a spark of hope inside of him.

The chair squeaked as he scooted it back enough to let him turn to face her, and slowly he let his fingers curl so he could gently hold her hands as well. "Nill, you know... Th-there's something that--"

"Here you go. One parfait and one sundae. Enjoy."

It was like the waitress had come out of nowhere, and Joshua was quick to yank his hands away and stutter out thanks to her before quickly turning back to his ice cream, picking up his spoon to begin eating without saying anything else.

Uwaa? How did the waitress get there so suddenly? She tilted her head, confused and trying to piece together what Joshua had said...or tried to say. Joshua looked like he didn't want to finish what he said so she guessed she wait to find out what it meant.

The parfait that sat in front of her looked even more delicious that shown in the picture. She had heard pessimistic remarks before that usually it was the other way around. Nill took up her spoon, casting a quick sideways glance at Joshua to see if he was enjoying his sundae, before finally digging her spoon in and trying a little.

And it was wonderful.

He was far too embarrassed to look back over to Nill for quite awhile, only occasionally allowing himself to glance into the window to catch her reflection, making sure she was enjoying her dessert.

It looked like she was, at least. Joshua was glad that he'd picked the right one.

The teen didn't feel like speaking again until he was already finished, and then he just sighed and slumped back in his chair, sipping at his lemonade and staring at his empty bowl.

He was hopeless.

Hearing Joshua move back in his chair, Nill looked up, surprised to find that he had already finished eating. She had not even gotten near halfway through with the parfait yet...Well...she didn't really eat much in the first place...even though it was really yummy.

She pushed her parfait a little bit towards Joshua and tilted her head wondering if he'd like some of hers. He looked a little bit down...had she done something wrong?

Joshua glanced up when he heard the glass of the dessert dish slide across the table a bit, and he stared at it for a moment before finally forcing himself to look back to her.

What was this? Pity? Or did she not want it anymore...? He was hating himself more and more for not being able to understand what she wanted.

"You...want to share?" Better to make sure rather than assume, anyway.

Her wings fluttered and she nodded. She hoped she wasn't too hard to understand...someday...someday she would be able to talk, and then everything would be easier. Everything would be better, and then simple things like asking others if they'd like to share a parfait would be a much easier thing to do.

Nill was just far too nice, and she always managed to make him forget about his own idiocy for a short while. With a smile, he set his lemonade down and picked up his spoon again.

Then it paused just above the parfait. Wasn't this something couples did? After all, it was like an...indirect kiss or something. Was that even proper?

Clearing his throat again, Joshua steeled his nerves and scooped a bit of it onto a spoon, taking a quick bite.

"Wow, it's good! Thanks."

The rest of the parfait sharing ended up in an awkward silence. Nill had the feeling that Joshua didn't quite want to talk as they finished off the remainder of the dessert. Quickly after they had eaten the parfait, Joshua suggested walking her home and the girl gave a nod of thanks and that she would like it very much if he did.

It had been a long period of silence as they walked from the ice cream shop and now they were nearing her apartment building. Nill flustered silently, worried if there was something wrong that was making Joshua act so strangely. Her periwinkle gaze flitted nervously towards her companion, not quite sure on how to act on the situation.

As he walked along, the air was cool, but Joshua could still feel his palms get sweaty. They felt clammy, and the back of his neck was cold, and he just...wanted to get it over and done with. He hadn't actually really planned this out. It was 'spur of the moment' in that it had hit him within the last hour, thanks to the ice cream shop.

Working up his nerve a second time was even harder than the first time.

Swallowing harshly, he was certain he tasted cotton as he slowed to a stop just near her building and glanced nervously over to the girl who was a woman for the day. She was so beautiful, and the way her hair billowed was almost mesmerizing.

The bags were set down, and Joshua rubbed his palms nervously against his pants before reaching out to take her hands. "N-Nill. Um..."

Nill looked up, her head tilted questioningly, and a silent but implied 'yes?' was her reply. She had been wondering what had been bothering him throughout their walk...

Even as a woman, her hands were just as delicate as before, only perhaps more...graceful looking. Suddenly, as he looked from them up to her eyes, he felt like his stomach was in knots and he was out of breath.

...He couldn't say it! He couldn't! Damn, what was he supposed to do? It would be so anticlimactic to just brush it off now, and what if he never got another chance like this? She was usually surrounded by people who loved her.

"I--... Uh..." Sucking his lower lip in, Joshua worried at it for a long moment before he just finally let himself blurt it out, cheeks red hot from his blush. "I like you! But not the way I like a friend. I have for...for a long time! I want to d-d...d-da..." Suddenly, 'date' was the hardest word in the english dictionary to spit out.

The girl, better classified as a woman in her current state, stared confusedly at Joshua. Nill slowly pieced tried to piece together what was being said, but at the moment she was having a bit of trouble. What was he trying to say exactly? He liked her but not in the way of a friend?

What in the world was Joshua trying to tell her?

Her clueless look wasn't helping is resolve. By the second, he was losing his nerve, and his feet shuffled as he tried to force the words out, trying not to grip her hands too tightly.

"I want to...d-d....date you!" Finally, he'd managed to say it, and yet he couldn't feel relief. Instead it just made him freeze all over again, as if expecting her to run away.

Nill's eyes widened, the pieces of conversation clicking together. Her face turned instantly red, the mute had no idea how to respond. She had never had to deal with this type of situation before! Nill panicked slightly, what should she say? What should she do? Oh dear…oh dear…

She liked Joshua, she did, but she was so confused about her feelings. Was her like the same like as Joshua's like? But she liked...she also liked Heine too. When did the word 'like' get so complicated?!

Lightly releasing her hands from his grasp, she turned his palm face upward and traced the letters G-I-V-E and then followed by the letters T-I-M-E. She tilted her head hoping that that would be an answer that wouldn't stress Joshua any...Nill needed time to think...badly...in her current state, the girl was too flustered to even think straight. Oh dear oh dear...what should she do? What should she do?

It was hard to keep his face from crumbling right then, the more she spelled out, and he looked as crushed as could possibly be. Give time?

Joshua might have held on to pursue this, but he wasn't going to be the pushy type. He knew that Nill was a very polite and gentle girl... Nice. Maybe too nice. She couldn't even outright reject him.

Taking a hint would probably be the best thing he could do. So he inhaled sharply, trying not to choke on the air as he suddenly felt that it was hard to breathe. Just like...before.

Pulling his hand back, he held it over his chest, breath raspy as Joshua looked off to the side. "It's okay. I know that...I'm not... I kn-know I'm really not anything...amazing. The most I've accomplished is murder."

Far too afraid that he was going to start crying then, Joshua grit his teeth and stepped back. "It's okay," he repeated. "N-no... No hard feelings..."

The expression on his face practically broke her heart. Had he taken it the wrong way? Or was it all her fault that she had said the wrong thing? Nill bit her lip, his response deepening the weight in her heart with each word. Was it wrong to ask for more time?

In her panic, Nill stepped forward and hugged Joshua tightly.

Joshua was too shocked to know what to think at first. A very beautiful woman was now hugging him. She was soft...and warm...and everything she did just reminded him more and more of why she was too good for him.

His hands moved to settle on her shoulders, and he did consider pushing her away for a moment, but...how often was it that he got a hug? From anyone but his sister? Joshua couldn't...even remember the last time he had.

With a trembling exhale, the boy slid his arms around her waist, holding her there enough to enjoy the embrace, but not enough to trip her or make things...too awkward. Although really, they already were.

Burying his face in her soft hairr, his eyes slid shut, and he found himself murmuring without thinking about it. "I want to hold you like this every day...and to protect you from all the bad things. Even if it meant being sick again, I wish I could get my Apostle powers back so that I could do a better job of protecting you. I've never...felt like this before. I'm sorry... I'm sorry."

The girl relaxed into his hold ignoring the slight bother that was caused by...properties of an older body. Nill blushed slightly, but she rested her head on his chest. She...she didn't want him to get sick again...not for her sake...the girl continued holding on. There was nothing to be sorry for, Joshua...After all...he was there for her now and she felt safe when he was around...like Heine...

Afraid that he was making the hug last too long, and wondering if she had only done it out of pity, he forced himself to stop shaking and gently stepped back out of her grip.

He was a man. He was supposed to act like one. Not some wimpy, whiny baby who wasn't getting what he wanted.

Still, it was near impossible to meet her gaze, because when he did all he saw was pity. Pity for a monster. "...Thanks for...at least not slapping me or anything. I know you probably already have someone else... Should have guessed."

Trying to smile right then was one of the most difficult things he'd ever done, but he managed. "Are you going to be able to carry the bags up to your door, or do you need my help?"

Nill shook her head, and delicately picked up the bags with both hands, she would be fine. The girl gave a nod of thanks and smiled softly. Someday...someday she'd be able to talk, and then misunderstandings wouldn't happen...someday...someday...Letting out an inaudible sigh, she gave a small wave of goodbye to Joshua, before making her way up the stairs. The blonde would make it up to him somehow...

Lifting his hand, Joshua waved back, smiling as she turned and walked to the door of the building. Once the door shut and she disappeared inside, the waving slowed to a halt, and his smile dropped.

Shaking, he turned around and swung his fist before he could calculate the end result, and next thing he knew, he was doubling over and clutching at the bruised hand. "...Ow...owow..."

Walls weren't the best punching bags. He'd have to find something better.