tampered | Log; Complete

Log; Complete

When: May 28th, evening
Rating: PG, I guess?
Characters: Tessla

sharpest_knife
Summary: After an explosive argument between the siblings, the twins try to reconcile with their sister.
Log:

It wasn’t a conversation she was looking forward to having with either of them, but since her tantrum earlier Tessla had considerably calmed. She had found a blanket and curled up underneath it on the couch, Sasha joining her after a few moments. Her thoughts were one series of questions after the next, all starting with why. Why had they killed each other, why had Knives been driven to murder Rem, why had they lied…why hadn’t they just told her the truth from the beginning.

Emotionally and physically drained, the sizeable hole in the wall from where that thing had come out of her arm serving as a reminder to her and Vash's fight earlier. She sighed softly as a shaky hand gently reached out and stroked the purring kitten at her feet, waiting for her brothers to come in and get this talk over with. All she wanted right now was to sleep.

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Knives raised a hand to Vash's apartment door, glancing sidelong at the gaping hole in the wall. He couldn't imagine that his brother had been so distressed to have caused that. In fact, Vash tried the hardest out of the two of them to keep his arm under control, and yet there was plaster and wood scattered about on the ground.

Brow furrowing, the older twin knocked on the door. He'd have to ask Vash about that, because the other option that presented herself only worked to worry Knives more. If Tessla had a fully functioning and activated arm...

... He'd ask Vash.

Vash was tired and his face showed it. The entire day had been one train wreck after another, and he really just wanted to crawl into bed before it got any worse. But there would be time for that later. Opening the door with bleary and dark-circled eyes, Vash found himself looking right into Knives' solemn (if not somewhat confused) ones. Vash glanced over at the hole for a second before looking back at Knives.

"Well," he said, wondering why he even bothered opening the door when a person could just step through the wall. "This must look pretty stupid."

If he was joking, Vash didn't even realize it. He just said it.

Blue eyes glanced to the door, knowing all too well who it was knocking. Tessla had the brief, fleeting wish it might just be Greed-san or Ryuichi-san, but Ryuichi had already come by. He’d even left presents for her, which had been so nice of him, but she couldn’t help but wish he’d taken her with him when he left.

She pulled the blanket up a bit higher to her neck as Vash hurried past to go answer the door and closed her eyes. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep, they’d leave her alone.

"I guess it does." Knives glanced at the hole again as he stepped over the main threshold before turning his attention to Tessla balled up on the couch. He moved to join her there and sat down beside her, then reached over to rest a hand on the top of her covered head.

He stopped himself. No, she wouldn't want that now.

Withdrawing his hand, Knives looked over at his twin and indicated the hole with a tilt of his head. "What happened?"

"...Her arm went off, that's all," Vash replied quietly. He really wasn't mad about the damage done, and he didn't want Tessla to think he was. Considering what he did the first time his arm went off, this hole wasn't even worth noting.

"These things happen," Vash continued wearily, moving to the couch and sitting on the floor, ticking Sasha's cheek with a finger. "It's over now and she's okay. That's what counts. The building should heal itself for the most part."

She bit the inside of her lip as she heard familiar voices, followed by footsteps heading toward her. Weight settled down next to her on the couch, an unwelcome presence invading her personal space after the mess that had happened that day. Small fists clenched as a mixture of anger, sadness a fear welled up inside her. It was one of her brothers, she knew, but which one she wasn’t so sure.

Her eyes opened underneath the blanket she was currently using as a shield from their faces, watching what looked likely to be the shadow of a hand hovering above the surface of her blanket. She cringed unwillingly beneath the blanket, curling up farther on herself even as the hand began to retreat. Good.

Voices again, now she knew it was Knives sitting next to her and she couldn’t help but squirm, uncomfortable with his proximity. Tessla resisted the urge to peer out from beneath her blanket as Vash went on to talk about that thing that had come out of her arm, and something about the building “healing” itself. A small frown formed on her face, wondering what exactly he meant by that.

Knives quirked an eyebrow at the mention of Tessla's arm. "Her arm?" Well, he shouldn't have been surprised, really. If he and Vash were capable of mass destruction via limb, then Tessla should, too. It was a good thing the girl's arm had left only a small hole compared to a decimated city.

The older twin turned back to the lump on the couch that was his sister and reached out again to touch her through the blanket. "Tessla? Come out from under there. ... Please. Vash and I need to talk to you about... things."

He was so awful at talking to children, sometimes.

Vash just shrugged. Tessla's arm was the least of things eating at his mind. He watched Knives attempt to coax Tessla out from under the blanket as the kitten crawled into his lap and curled up into a purring ball of furr. He vaguely wondered if Sasha would shun him too if she understood these things.

"We're going to tell you the truth of things," Vash continued for Knives evenly. "Which we should have done sooner. I'm sorry."

Tessla stayed still as Knives reached out to touch her again, allowing the contact but not wanting it in the slightest. She didn’t want anyone touching her right now, least of all them. She did nothing as her brother spoke to her, chewing over his words. Just thing? She wasn’t so sure that was the right word to call them, but nothing else was coming to mind either.

Her thoughts wandered to what would happen if she told them no, she didn’t want to talk to them right now, that all she wanted was to go to bed. Nothing good, she imagined. In the end, curiosity for the truth won over exhaustion. She brought the blanket off her head, her eyes downcast and the blanket still wrapped around her small form in case she felt the need to hide again.

“…Wh-why?”

This was a good sign. This meant that Tessla was willing to listen to them, at least. She might not like what she was about to hear—actually, that was guaranteed—but it had to be said. She couldn't run away from it, and the brothers couldn't hide it.

"You can answer that a lot of ways, depending on the question," Knives replied. "We can either start from the beginning and you can ask questions afterwards, or you can ask and we'll answer." He looked to Vash for help. He really didn't know where to start or what to say. "Does that sounds good?"

Don't even look at me, bastard, Vash thought spitefully. When it came down to it, Knives was the one behind all of what happened. Was Vash still bitter? Absolutely. But snipping at him now wouldn't do any of them any good. It would most likely only make things worse.

"That's fine," he said in a hollow tone. "Though you might get better answers if you're specific rather than letting us ramble on, you know? It's up to you."

There was a choice in how to do this? She didn’t desire for either option, honestly, but she supposed Vash had a point about being specific. Hearing the entire story, though… That might make it easier to understand. She decided on the former rather than the latter. At least by going with this way, she could get her answers quickly.

“Wh-why did you k-kill Rem?” Tessla asked after an uncertain pause, her blue eyes resting on Knives as she awaited his answer. Was it going to be different from what Vash had told her earlier? It could be. Neither of them had been truthful with her thus far and she was feeling hesitant in believing either of them.

Being Vash's twin clued Knives in on the animosity towards him, and the elder brother's brow furrowed slightly in the beginnings of a glare. If it were any other time, Knives would have made a snarky remark, but fighting was not an option at the time. They'd had plenty of time to fight before then.

At Tessla's question, Knives turned his attention back to her, and his expression softened. He was positive that no matter what he said, his sister's hate for him would only solidify. Tessla loved Rem; that was a fact. But Rem... Conrad, and everyone else on the SEEDS ship... There were some beliefs that were not truths.

"Because I hate her." There, it was out. Simple and straightforward. Knives couldn't help the tensing of his jaw, the hardening of his eyes. "I hate them all."

Vash's eyes dropped to the floor at Knives' answer. It was cold, it was hard... But it was the truth. Knives' voice left no doubt of that for anyone who heard it.

His mind went back to that time on the ship. When he first noticed a strangeness in Knives' eyes. His gaze had always been so open before; so genuine and sincere. But in that moment, it was like watching a wall being constructed right in front of him, cutting him off from his twin.

If Vash would have been able to understand at the time, could he have stopped that wall from going up?

Over a hundred-and-fifty years later, it didn't matter. He couldn't go back. But the results were still there.

Greed had told her he did. Vash had as well, but in less direct terms. That didn’t make hearing it from him any easier, or less painful. Tessla’s arms circled her knees, hugging them to her body with a void look in her eyes. She wanted to tell him they weren’t all bad, that she’d met so many nice ones while she was here, but she couldn’t help recall Greed’s words. He wouldn’t change, no matter how hard she tried. Vash had said that he could, but… Vash had killed him. He said one thing and did another, and…that didn’t make sense at all.

“B-but why? Wh-what did th-they do t-to m-make y-you so m-mad?” She asked, heart-broken that her older brother hated humans as much as she’d been told. She’d been silly for believing that he could get along with them, if she just tried hard enough. “Sh-she t-took care of y-you, b-both.”

He wanted to tell Tessla that he hated humans was because the crew had killed her, but it wasn't his place to tell. She'd just think he was lying, even though he and Vash had specifically stated they would only tell her the truth. So Knives sat back in the sofa, staring at his hands and trying to come up with a reasonable and truthful statement that didn't give away too much.

"They betrayed me," he answered finally, "in a way I will never forgive." He would have continued, but now was not the time to rant about his beliefs. He'd done enough of that to Vash, to the rest of the world. Tessla would be spared.

Betrayal was a funny term for Knives to use, in Vash's opinion, but he kept quiet. He would have his turn to speak, and then it would be obvious to Tessla why the brothers fought. That such polar opposites could even come from the same womb was still hard to believe.

Vash watched Tessla sadly, wishing he could think of something to say, but he decided to wait until she asked him. He was already on bad enough terms with her. He couldn't get the justifiably furious expression she'd had on her face out of his mind. Maybe he really was a bad person. He certainly appeared to be in the eyes of a child.

She bit her lower lip, torn between wanting to defend them and wanting to comfort her brother. Neither seemed like the best choice, really. Sitting next to him made her nervous as it was, but actually hugging him? She couldn’t bring herself to do it right now.

“I-Is th-that’s wh-why you…” she searched for a word that she thought would fit, “f-fight all the t-time, r-right?” Hate wasn’t right, really. They seemed to get along, sometimes. Or maybe that was just because she was nearby.

"There are other things involved. I believe one thing, Vash believes another, but in the end, it all comes back to what happened on that ship." Knives continued staring at his hands; the muscles in his left arm kept twitching as if in hatred of the mere subject matter.

Then, after a moment, he raised his eyes to Vash, giving him a chance to voice his version of the story to Tessla. He was curious about what his brother had to say.

Vash rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand anxiously as Knives looked at him expectantly. He wasn't sure where he should start. What should he say?

"I don't..." he began cautiously as if feeling things out with his words, "Think humans betrayed us." He cleared his throat, glancing at Knives. "They made a mistake. We all do that. I don't believe that's a reason to hate them. I was angry at first, but I think I was more scared than anything. Then Rem showed me that..."

His voice cracked. God, he really hated talking about it. He didn't even know how to continue.

"People can change," he finished quietly.

Tessla stared at them both, annoyed. What did they do to betray them? They kept saying they were going to tell her the truth about everything, but if she tried to ask about what the humans had done that was so bad, they wouldn’t say. Maybe they didn’t do anything at all, and they’d just made it up? But that didn’t really explain anything.

“Wh-what do you m-mean, what happened on the sh-ship?” She was frowning now, obviously frustrated. This wasn’t answering anything, just giving her more questions to ask that they were avoiding.

She eyed Vash as he spoke, waiting for some incite to what happened but he just said the opposite of Knives. This was all so confusing and wasn’t making sense. “Y-you don’t m-make any sense. I-If y-you th-thought that, y-you w-wouldn’t h-have killed him.” Even if Knives had multiple chances to change now, why couldn't he do that while he was alive? Killing him hadn't made him any better. He'd still hurt Rem.

If Knives was patient man, he would have taken Tessla's annoyance in stride. He would have given her a satisfactory answer that, at the same time, allowed him to avoid the exact details of that day.

Knives was not a patient man.

"Would you really believe me?" he snapped unintentionally. He wasn't angry at her. He was angry at Vash, at himself, at the humans, and countless others who dared stick their nose into his family's business. It utterly riled him. "You have every reason to hate me for keeping the truth from you. You know why I did that? Why no matter what I say about that day, you'll take it as a lie? Because you love Rem!" He knew he shouldn't be angry. He shouldn't be yelling at all. "If that makes you happy, then I want to keep you happy, because finding out that your 'family' killed you is fucking depressing!"

... Perhaps that was a bit extreme. But Knives was the kind of person who did extreme things.

"Knives, stop it!" Vash begged desperately. This was exactly what he had been worried about. To say Knives was zealous would be a massive understatement. All that pain had festered into pure, unabashed hatred, and a being with that much anger and hatred just couldn't be expected to control their tempers, even in front of the ones they cared for.

And as for what he just said... Vash couldn't imagine what Tessla would think of that.

She looked to the floor, not interrupting Knives as he yelled, her hands bunching up the blanket wrapped around her. Tessla waited until he had finished before looking up at him, conviction in her eyes as she thought over her words carefully.

“I d-don’t know. I d-don’t think s-so,” she admitted, “b-but they are m-my family, whether y-you l-like that or n-not. Th-they raised m-me, and th-they… R-Rem and Conrad-san w-wouldn’t l-let s-something l-like that h-happen to m-me.” Tessla insisted, relying on blind-faith alone. Rem had taught her to speak, taken care of her since she was a baby. She wouldn’t have allowed something like that, no matter what anyone said.

“I d-do love her, b-but that’s n-not wh-why I d-don’t believe y-you. I d-don’t b-believe you b-because y-you lied already. B-both of y-you. I d-don’t trust either of y-you, nii-chan, b-but y-you’re f-family, too. Y-you’re b-both still m-my brothers, and I… I d-don’t hate y-you.”

All throughout Tessla's stuttered explanation, Knives glared at her quietly, but when she was finished all his patience vanished. He rose from the couch and stalked to the other side of the room, hands in pockets. She didn't believe him. She didn't... wouldn't believe him, because of course Rem and Conrad wouldn't dare allow experimentations on Tessla.

Knives stood like that for a moment, letting his angry uncoil in tense silence, before turning around. "Then why don't you ask Rem," he spat, shooting a glower at Vash.

Vash listened to all of this in silence and ducked a little under Knives' glare.

"That's something you're going to have to talk to Rem about," Vash told Tessla quietly. "We weren't there. We only read about it. Rem's the one who explained it to us. She's the one who knows what really happened."

Vash locked eyes with Tessla.

"It's not our place to tell you about that," he said solemnly.

Her expression fell as Knives pulled away, apparently done with talking to her. She pulled her blanket around slumped shoulders as she watched him, uncertain what to do. She’d tried to explain, but it didn’t work. Why wouldn’t he just listen? Rem… She was her mother, just as much as he was hers. Apparently that didn’t matter much to him, though.

Tessla moved from her position on the couch, intending to walk out the hole in the wall and next door to Rem’s apartment to do just that when Vash spoke again, making her pause. …He read about it. So that’s what he’d meant when he said stories. She bit her lip, pulling the blanket a bit more securely around her as she started at Vash. They were wrong, they had to be. Otherwise, that meant they’d both kept this a secret from her as well. They’d… That would have meant they’d known for a lot longer and she wasn’t so sure she could handle that. She was pretty sure that was one of the things it wasn’t okay to lie about, like Ryuichi-san had said.

“…F-Fine.” She said softly, and without another word, she headed toward the hole she created, not waiting to see if they had anything else to say.

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